"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[QUOTE=Truncated;4307030]I know a couple of SBs less than half my age. We've connected on and off for a few years. They usually text me when they need money, or advice. I don't give them money, but I do offer an ear.

But a real relationship? No.

Some SBs will connect with you on a deeper level than sex for money. You just have to know when they are trying to play you.[/QUOTE]Quick test to see if they are really feeling your vibe more than your money but make no mistake your cash is still KING. Embellish a story that involves having your money tied up for a month or two. Tell them you really want to see them but can only swing half the agreed allowance the next few meets. If they are truly feeling you most will respond "no problem" and won't expect to recoup the difference.

Obviously this test is designed more for longer term arrangements, not the one night stand variety. I have done this a few times as a test. For those that agree, I end up still gifting normal allowance saying I found some money in an old shoe or something. I take note of those that ghost me for a month then reappear after my original timeline wanting to hangout. Ripper.

[QUOTE=EvilTmp;4306988]Just wondering how often it's happened where you meet a girl half your age on SA and it turns into a real relationship lasting a year or longer?

Anybody out there wants to tell their story?[/QUOTE]Sure, I'll bite.

Let me start by saying this: Contrary to popular belief, not every girl on SA is on the site to get paid for sex. There are a lot of young women out there who are tired of dating immature guys their own age who don't have a clue how to treat a woman. For many of these girls, the idea of a "sugardaddy" is more about having an older, successful boyfriend that treats them well, mentors them, helps them figure life out, etc. Much more than it is the pay-to-play scenario so many of you assume. These are the girls I look for.

For context, I am married and locked in at home until my kids are older. I signed up for SA because I want the attention and affection of a part time girlfriend. I'm not interested in a pay-to-play transactional arrangement, I actually want a real relationship, or something very close to it. I've been lucky to have some extremely good experiences over the years.

My most recent relationship was with a girl I met on SA, I was 41 and she was 21. She was new to the site and I was the first guy she met. She disliked the term "sugarbaby" and didn't want money or any type of arrangement per se. She just wanted an older guy in her life that would help her and guide her. On our first date she told me she could never be exclusive to a married man, and for my part I told her I wouldn't get divorced until my kids were older. 4 weeks later she changed her mind. 4 years later, I changed mine.

We had incredible chemistry and an amazing connection right from the beginning. It was the type of effortless first date we all dream of, everything just fell into place and it just got better from there. The first year or so we kept everything very simple, casual and fun. I remember thinking how impressed I was that she didn't lose her perspective, we were exclusive to each other but she didn't get too emotionally attached. She honestly had a very mature outlook on it all. We both knew our relationship was never going to have a happy ending, but we were both happy and content to enjoy the ride as long as it lasted. She was an absolute go-getter, she worked very hard and soaked up the advice and guidance I gave her like a sponge. I taught her how to budget, I helped her pay off her credit card debt, I helped her with academic decisions and school projects, I helped her put herself in position for promotions at work and advance her career. All of which I found very rewarding, and she was always very good about expressing her appreciation of my efforts in ways that were very meaningful to me. Now just because we didn't have an "arrangement" doesn't mean I didn't contribute funds, because I most certainly did when times were tough for her. But in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn't much.

She lived about 2 hours from me, which was just about perfect. Not too close, not too far away. I would visit her for overnights when I was meeting with clients in her area, and it wasn't uncommon for us to meet halfway whenever we wanted to see each other outside of our regular weekly overnight dates. Over the course of our 4+ years together we spent the night together at least once a week for the entire stretch.

As far as the relationship goes, the first year was very casual. In our second year we started to get more emotionally involved, but we talked about it often and helped each other keep everything in check. We agreed that when the end did come, we would handle it with care and respect. As time went on I was concerned that I was keeping her off the market too long during the prime years of her life, but she always assured me that she was very happy and didn't want to be with anyone else. She promised she'd let me know if that changed. Two years turned into three and we continued to get more serious, we spent more time together and took several vacations together. In our fourth year everything changed. We were both extremely happy and started talking about what a life together might look like. By this time she was 25, we were very close, very much a team together and constantly motivating each other to be our best. She was young and vivacious, had an amazing spirit and took great care of me. From the beginning she gave me the best sex of my life, and right up to the end it kept getting better and better. It was honestly the best relationship I had ever been in, bar none. And I say that having enjoyed some really good relationships over the years.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Eventually, after much discussion, she decided that it would be best if she found someone closer to her own age that could give her the more traditional life she had always dreamed of. She left the door open to something down the road, but said she knew she'd regret it if she didn't try. I couldn't blame her, and honestly, it was the right decision for her. I was still married after all. So toward the end of our fourth year together we spent several months working on our bucket list, doing those things we had always talked about but never gotten around to. I even took her to Paris for a week to celebrate our relationship, which was absolutely the trip of a lifetime. About a month after we got back we made plans for our last date; we went to the same restaurant where we had our first date and sat at the same table. It was bittersweet for sure. Afterwards we spent one last amazing night together and said our goodbyes in the morning. That was 7 months ago. We're still in touch, in fact we recently met for lunch to catch up. I do wish things were different. In another life we would have been extremely good together. But I admire her resolve. I don't think there are many girls her age who would be able to walk away from what we had together. I really respect that.

Some of you will ridicule the idea of getting seriously involved with a girl you meet on SA. For most girls on there, and certainly those offering pay-per-date arrangements, I would absolutely agree. It should be obvious that this was a very different situation, and even then my girl was the rarest of unicorns. But going back to the original question, my experience is proof positive that real relationships can and do happen. I found an amazing woman and had a better experience than I ever thought would have been possible. My bowl brother and I talk often about the importance of making great memories. I've been very fortunate to make more than my fair share.

[QUOTE=TopGun9;4307578]For those that use Google Voice, it seems Google are catching up to our activities using their app as a burner phone for the hobby. They are suspending accounts.

Unable to access a Google product.

If you've been redirected to this page from a particular product, it means that your access to this product has been suspended. Read on for more information.[/QUOTE]Are you fully locked out? Or just that account? In other words, can you make a different gmail and use voice?

[QUOTE=KevinCalormis;4308092]Are you fully locked out? Or just that account? In other words, can you make a different gmail and use voice?[/QUOTE]Thanks for the heads up. I have four other texting / calling apps on my phone. If I didn't see this & got locked out I would have lost a lot of valuable info. I suggest anyone else that relies on GV capture numbers that you don't want to lose, just in case.

I did a search & didn't see anything about them policing or restricting users. May just not be public knowledge yet?

[QUOTE=Ripvan12;4307703]Quick test to see if they are really feeling your vibe more than your money but make no mistake your cash is still KING. Embellish a story that involves having your money tied up for a month or two. Tell them you really want to see them but can only swing half the agreed allowance the next few meets. If they are truly feeling you most will respond "no problem" and won't expect to recoup the difference.

Obviously this test is designed more for longer term arrangements, not the one night stand variety. I have done this a few times as a test. For those that agree, I end up still gifting normal allowance saying I found some money in an old shoe or something. I take note of those that ghost me for a month then reappear after my original timeline wanting to hangout. Ripper.[/QUOTE]Something I've done in the past is simply stop gifting after the dead. Not asking ahead of time if it's ok, not making any excuses, just spend a great evening and then go home.

I never give big amounts so I always know the girl must be into me somewhat because I'll never be a big spender. If after a couple of times of gifting to a girl I can tell the chemistry is there, I simply stop the sugar. So far my instincts have been 100% correct. Not a word of it is mentioned and we keep seeing each other. Doesn't mean it's free. I still pay for outings, small gifts, bottles of wine, etc. I would not try this with any girl on the site though.

I realize this applies to a very small minority of girls on SA, those that are really into older guys and love to have a daddy in their lives: in particular, me.

[QUOTE=JoyDrop;4307822]Sure, I'll bite.

.......Some of you will ridicule the idea of getting seriously involved with a girl you meet on SA. For most girls on there, and certainly those offering pay-per-date arrangements, I would absolutely agree. It should be obvious that this was a very different situation, and even then my girl was the rarest of unicorns. But going back to the original question, my experience is proof positive that real relationships can and do happen. I found an amazing woman and had a better experience than I ever thought would have been possible. My bowl brother and I talk often about the importance of making great memories. I've been very fortunate to make more than my fair share.[/QUOTE]I am certainly not one who is judgmental regarding our activities. The only comment that I will make about this situation is that I have found, for me, that I have to keep these SA relationships on a business level, especially as a married man. So for me, that means treating the SB's as I would escorts. No long term relationships to f. Me up.

For me, they don't want a relationship with a 61 year old guy, don't look it but in the end, that's not for them, nor me for that matter, it's just show me the money! Tagreplacement0}.

[QUOTE=WestLain;4308228]I am certainly not one who is judgmental regarding our activities. The only comment that I will make about this situation is that I have found, for me, that I have to keep these SA relationships on a business level, especially as a married man. So for me, that means treating the SB's as I would escorts. No long term relationships to f. Me up.[/QUOTE]I completely agree, my situation wouldn't be right for everyone. It's definitely a lot safer & smarter to keep anybody you're seeing on the side at arm's length. I have had my fair share of short term flings, and those girls never knew my real name or any other details that would allow them to find me. But ultimately I decided those short term, arms-length relationships weren't really fulfilling enough for me.

Even in the case of the girl I saw for four years, she didn't know my real last name for the first year. I was very vigilant about maintaining my privacy / security. I only told her once the relationship took a serious turn and I knew I could trust her with my life. By that point she had definitely earned that level of trust.

True story: My first fling was 7 years ago, and lasted for about a year. The girl was 21 at the time. We were close, but she was never going to be a good candidate for a "real" relationship. After we stopped seeing each other she got married, had a kid and then a few years later she contacted me out of the blue so we reconnected. So I have known her for 7 years at this point, we talk or text almost daily to this day. But I have never told her my real last name, nor does she know exactly where I live or anything else that would allow her to track me down. I do trust her, but I have absolutely nothing to gain other than risk & exposure, so I keep my mouth shut.

I would like current info on this. Anyone have experience? From time to time, I have needed to send $ electronically to a SB, for whatever reason. I have a PayPal account I set up under my sugar email quite a while ago. I don't think you would even be able to do that these days, without a verified address or bank account for example, but I think I got grandfathered in. I haven't done significant suspicious transactions, so it still is open.

What I wish to do is tie a prepaid debit card, of the type we usually use, VanillaGift, OneVanilla Visa, or Amex Gift, to the account and use it to transfer the $ discreetly, without risking any electronic breadcrumbs that could come back to me personally. I have tried two different cards in the past 24 hours, neither worked. I'd like to know other's experience, and / or a workaround.

[QUOTE=PartyTimeGuy;4206900]Absolutely. I have photos of every SB "score. " At last count it was up to 276. Not quite the 20,000 that Wilt Chamberlain bragged about (and his presumably were all free), but to approach those kinds of numbers I would have to retire early and fuck SBs as my full time occupation. Not a terrible proposition at all.

I find my photo collection a terrific way to walk down sensual and sexual memory lane. And obviously excellent spanking material.

I don't have a SO to hide my photos from, but, if I did, I would simply encrypt the photo file to keep it away from prying eyes.[/QUOTE]I have found video is my favorite keep sake. Is that something you do as well?

[QUOTE=WestLain;4308228]I am certainly not one who is judgmental regarding our activities. The only comment that I will make about this situation is that I have found, for me, that I have to keep these SA relationships on a business level, especially as a married man. So for me, that means treating the SB's as I would escorts. No long term relationships to f. Me up.[/QUOTE]My own experience was a close match to JoyDrop except that the ending was much, much messier for me. But for the first four years of our five-year relationship (I was married but am now divorced), it was an absolutely out-of-this-world experience. Everything from the sex, to the teamwork, the effortless companionship, the mutual emotional support. But we both fell hard for the unrealistic thought that we could have a life together, which once that started to become more of a tangible thing, the more unstable the relationship became. And it did not end well. That said, I do not regret the relationship, it was pivotal in my life. I only regret not having the perspective to have made different choices at various inflection points late in the game.

I'm now with a new SB, this one poly, which is a lot safer from a getting-in-too-deep perspective. While obviously I can't exactly be in her social circles, she otherwise considers me me as much of a partner as anyone else she sees seriously ("partner" being poly-speak for a relationship with emotional and physical components). It took her awhile to come around to acknowledging and accepting that she felt this way, as I don't think she considered that to be one of the likely outcomes. We now accept that we have a legitimate, caring relationship, but also that once she finishes grad school her life will likely branch off in other directions. I don't look forward to that, but I'm also not fooling myself into thinking it will have any other outcome. And she's one of the most emotionally and relationship-intelligent people I've ever known, so this time around I feel safe in the assumption that our parting will be bittersweet but amicable.

So it does happen. All depends on what you're looking for, and filtering your pots accordingly.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;4308685]I would like current info on this. Anyone have experience? From time to time, I have needed to send $ electronically to a SB, for whatever reason. I have a PayPal account I set up under my sugar email quite a while ago. I don't think you would even be able to do that these days, without a verified address or bank account for example, but I think I got grandfathered in. I haven't done significant suspicious transactions, so it still is open.

What I wish to do is tie a prepaid debit card, of the type we usually use, VanillaGift, OneVanilla Visa, or Amex Gift, to the account and use it to transfer the $ discreetly, without risking any electronic breadcrumbs that could come back to me personally. I have tried two different cards in the past 24 hours, neither worked. I'd like to know other's experience, and / or a workaround.[/QUOTE]100% anonymous, takes a few minutes to setup then it's a breeze.

[QUOTE=FarFarAway;4308685]I would like current info on this. Anyone have experience? From time to time, I have needed to send $ electronically to a SB, for whatever reason. I have a PayPal account I set up under my sugar email quite a while ago. I don't think you would even be able to do that these days, without a verified address or bank account for example, but I think I got grandfathered in. I haven't done significant suspicious transactions, so it still is open.

What I wish to do is tie a prepaid debit card, of the type we usually use, VanillaGift, OneVanilla Visa, or Amex Gift, to the account and use it to transfer the $ discreetly, without risking any electronic breadcrumbs that could come back to me personally. I have tried two different cards in the past 24 hours, neither worked. I'd like to know other's experience, and / or a workaround.[/QUOTE]Get a PayPal gift card, then add it to your PP account. Repeat as needed.

My local Wal Mart sells them in that big rack of gift cards near the cash registers.

[QUOTE=DoggieFan;4308112]Thanks for the heads up. I have four other texting / calling apps on my phone. If I didn't see this & got locked out I would have lost a lot of valuable info. I suggest anyone else that relies on GV capture numbers that you don't want to lose, just in case.

I did a search & didn't see anything about them policing or restricting users. May just not be public knowledge yet?[/QUOTE]I'm sure google uses their data to try to prevent sex trafficking. If they sense enough common links to an account related to others who may be involved in sex work, they block them out of caution.

I don't think this is anything new.

So you steal from them and see if they complain?

Not cool!

[QUOTE=EvilTmp;4308115]Something I've done in the past is simply stop gifting after the dead. Not asking ahead of time if it's ok, not making any excuses, just spend a great evening and then go home.

I never give big amounts so I always know the girl must be into me somewhat because I'll never be a big spender. If after a couple of times of gifting to a girl I can tell the chemistry is there, I simply stop the sugar. So far my instincts have been 100% correct. Not a word of it is mentioned and we keep seeing each other. Doesn't mean it's free. I still pay for outings, small gifts, bottles of wine, etc. I would not try this with any girl on the site though.

I realize this applies to a very small minority of girls on SA, those that are really into older guys and love to have a daddy in their lives: in particular, me.[/QUOTE]