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Thanks John,
And, if you need a place to hang your jacket while testing, you have the ability to do so with those nips!
Van
[QUOTE=A John]Summer temps are just around the corner, now is a good time to check out your car's air conditioner!
How to check your car's Air Conditioner.
1. Roll up the windows
2. Turn the AC on Hi
3. Put the tester in the car.
Yup it's working!
Sorry AC tester were sold out within hours of hitting the shelfs...
Now on back order, way,way back order......[/QUOTE]
Frustrated Woman
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally...I assumed you had stolen the car.''
Mexican fireworks!!
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j8EEc8yETM[/url]
As you may or may not know, Earth day was last month. The very first Earth Day was in 1970, this is what some "knowledgeable people" were saying would happen if we did not take action, but since none of these things have happned I for one am glad someone did something!
*
Denis Hayes, the chief organizer for the first Earth Day, wrote, "It is already too late to avoid mass starvation."
*
Senator Gaylord Nelson, the founder of Earth Day, stated, "Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct."
*
Peter Gunter, a professor at North Texas State University, stated, "... by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions.... By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine."
*
Paul Ehrlich, author of The Population Bomb, predicted that between 1980 and 1989, 4 billion people, including 65 million Americans, would starve to death.
*
Life Magazine wrote, "... by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half."
*
Ecologist Kenneth Watt stated, "The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age." Luckily we devised Global warming to prevent this disaster from happening.
*
Watt also stated, "By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate…that there won’t be any more crude oil."
*
By the year 2000, we will be unable to avoid mass starvation and the average age of death will be 41.
All this can be summed up:
"One of the peculiar sins of the twentieth century which we've developed to a very high level is the sin of credulity. It has been said that when human beings stop believing in God they believe in nothing. The truth is much worse: they believe in anything." – Malcolm Muggeridge.
This picture is real and was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he went to buy a camera to take pictures.
The car is still running, as can be witnessed by the exhaust.
The driver finally came back after the police were called, and was found crouched behind the rear of the car, attempting to cut the twine around the load! *Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed.
The materials were loaded at Home Depot. *Their store manager said they made the customer sign a waiver.
While the plywood and 2X4s are fairly obvious, what you can't see is the back seat, which contains -- *are you ready for this? --*10 bags of concrete @ 80 lbs. each!
They estimated the load weight at 3000 lbs. *Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent and the rear shocks were driven through the floorboard.
The economic stimulus simplfied.
A Massachusetts State Police Officer sees a car puttering along the highway at 38 MPH so he turns on his lights and pulls them over.
Five old ladies ~ two in the front seat and three in the back ~ eyes wide and white as ghosts sat silently staring straight ahead.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit: 38 MPH!
What seems to be the problem?'
The Statie , trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "38" is the route number, not the speed limit. The 80-year-old woman sheepishly grinned and thanked him for pointing out her error.
“Before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask: Is everyone in this car ok? The other ladies seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time."
"Oh, they'll be okay in a minute,” says the driver. “We just got off of Route 128."
[QUOTE=LordBlackAdder]The economic stimulus simplfied.[/QUOTE]
Ahhhhh Retards. Gotta love em!
[QUOTE=LordBlackAdder]The economic stimulus simplfied.[/QUOTE]
More economists from the chicago school. If Milton Friedman isn't roasting in hell then he is surely spinning in his grave. The folks in these pictures don't look like high luminescent bulbs, do they?
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?"
She asked.
"Hunting Flies"
He responded.
"Oh... ! Killing any?"
She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone
[QUOTE=LordBlackAdder]As you may or may not know, Earth day was last month. The very first Earth Day was in 1970, this is what some "knowledgeable people" were saying would happen if we did not take action, but since none of these things have happned I for one am glad someone did something!
*
Denis Hayes, the chief organizer for the first Earth Day, wrote, "It is already too late to avoid mass starvation."
*
Senator Gaylord Nelson, the founder of Earth Day, stated, "Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct."
*
Peter Gunter, a professor at North Texas State University, stated, "... by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions.... By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine."
*
Paul Ehrlich, author of The Population Bomb, predicted that between 1980 and 1989, 4 billion people, including 65 million Americans, would starve to death.
*
Life Magazine wrote, "... by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half."
*
Ecologist Kenneth Watt stated, "The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age." Luckily we devised Global warming to prevent this disaster from happening.
*
Watt also stated, "By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate…that there won’t be any more crude oil."
*
By the year 2000, we will be unable to avoid mass starvation and the average age of death will be 41.
All this can be summed up:
"One of the peculiar sins of the twentieth century which we've developed to a very high level is the sin of credulity. It has been said that when human beings stop believing in God they believe in nothing. The truth is much worse: they believe in anything." – Malcolm Muggeridge.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, and back in the year 1900; the environmentalists of those days said something like "All that increased horse and buggy traffic, if we don't do something about it; then by the year 2000 the whole world will be covered in 3 feet of manure."
A 6 year old and a 4 year old were up in their bedroom one morning. "You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it is about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "when we go downstairs for breakfast, I am going to say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mom walks into the kitchen she ask the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "aw hell mom, I guess I will just have some Cheerio's"
WHACK! he flies out his chair and tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying with his mom in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his bedroom and says, "you can just stay in there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks a the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "and what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" I don't know, he blubbers, but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!".......
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.
The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said: "This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey,
so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."
Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.
The audience applauded enthusiastically.
Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,
"Idiots, Hebrew is read from right to left......
It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick
Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip
that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants.
The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 -- depending on speaker size.
This is considered a major breakthrough because women have always complained
about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them
Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole, I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is? '
The second hunter says, "I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom. '
The first hunter says, "There's an old car transmission. Here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see. '
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole. They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.
As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole, and with no hesitation, and jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. "Say there, " says the farmer, "You fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you? "
The first hunter says, "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped head first into this hole here! "
And the old farmer said; "Why that's impossible! I had him chained to a transmission!"