Massage Parlor Reports

Dude, were you in the room watching me! LOL "Sure, let me give you an extra $40 so I can do your job. You just lay there and relax. And don't you worry about the hall way either; I'll have that swept up in a jif, just as soon as I overcome the shame of wanking it over here in the corner by myself.

And no, the one at the desk isn't any better if her name is "Hailey"-ish. Not really sure but it had an "H." They should just name it "City Rub" and stick it in South Park.

[QUOTE=SpiderMan;1922782]That's gold dude. Finally after about a minute or two she says" you want massage me?" I said sure and my thought was hell yea, here we go. So she gets on the table face down, and me, naked as a baby climbs on top of her and starts massaging the shit out of her. I mean there wasn't a place my hands and fingers didn't go. After awhile I pull up her scrub top and undo her bra. No protesting whatsoever. I was like, here we go. I rub her back and side boob area and after about 2-3 minutes of this I can't stand it anymore so I tell her to flip over thinking I'm fixing to go to town on these titties. But when she flips over she crosses her arms over her chest and will not move them, despite my efforts. So again I'm on top of her, crank in the wind and she says "ok, hour up, thank you. I get you hot towel." So I protest a little to no avail and she gets up, hooks the bra and off she goes.[/QUOTE]

This chick was named Hylen. She wrote it on a card. The reason I thought the way I did was the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra and the turkey's were done. I might give it the old college try pretty soon.

[QUOTE=Zodrocket;1922822]Dude, were you in the room watching me! LOL "Sure, let me give you an extra $40 so I can do your job. You just lay there and relax. And don't you worry about the hall way either; I'll have that swept up in a jif, just as soon as I overcome the shame of wanking it over here in the corner by myself.

And no, the one at the desk isn't any better if her name is "Hailey"-ish. Not really sure but it had an "H." They should just name it "City Rub" and stick it in South Park.[/QUOTE]

Hey guys still new to the hobby but thought I would give my first report. Went to both the Alabaster AMP and Panda last week and really enjoyed both. Alabaster had the better massage and the ts was an added bonus while panda def. Had the better looking girl but she was rude about asking for a tip as I left although I felt it unnecessary because she was only doing what she was paid to do and didn't even give a good tease. All in all I don't think there are extras to be had at either but that could be cause I'm new to this.

[QUOTE=Zodrocket;1922822]I'll have that swept up in a jif, just as soon as I overcome the shame of wanking it over here in the corner by myself.

They should just name it "City Rub" and stick it in South Park.[/QUOTE]These last 3 or 4 posts have been the funniest shit I have read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh. Its hilarious how these girls will hand you a bottle of oil and tell you to go at it, then want a tip. I have done some bizarre stuff in my day, but tipping a girl for bringing me some oil will never make the list. A while back I did have a really large and unattractive one at the Alabaster spa do some heavy teasing of the boys during the table shower, then squirt shampoo all over Junior Johnson and told me I could get busy with him. I gave her my best you got to be freaking kidding me look and she messed around with the twins but wouldn't handle business. No tip. It may have gone better if I had kept my hat on. I wonder if they make a version in Chinese?

[QUOTE=DirtySouth19;1927156]Hey guys still new to the hobby but thought I would give my first report. Went to both the Alabaster AMP and Panda last week and really enjoyed both. Alabaster had the better massage and the ts was an added bonus while panda def. Had the better looking girl but she was rude about asking for a tip as I left although I felt it unnecessary because she was only doing what she was paid to do and didn't even give a good tease. All in all I don't think there are extras to be had at either but that could be cause I'm new to this.[/QUOTE]You're right, nothing to be had at those two except a massage. Might get a tease every now and then.

I've never been to the one in Alabaster but if it's like Panda, the problem lies with the curtains for doors. And it always seems like someone is either coming in or leaving, or is in the next room. Or the phone rings and someone leaves to go answer it. There are things to be had, in a way, if the right girl is there (at Panda). There have been a few that will let you suck on their titties, rub their crotch, squeeze a little ass, etc. And some have had no problem with things like that. The problem is you're going to have to take care of yourself. There was one time where all of the above was achieved while she played with my balls, as I hammered away on myself. Believe me I tried to place it in her hands, but she just playfully slapped it away. And I think I tipped 10-15 bucks which was well worth it. They understand the drill, and they pretty much know why we are all there. I don't know why they just don't give in. But you are right about the tipping. If they don't do domething to you, or you to them, fuck that tipping shit. It's like I told that chick the other day. "You didn't do anything to get a tip.

[QUOTE=DirtySouth19;1927156]Hey guys still new to the hobby but thought I would give my first report. Went to both the Alabaster AMP and Panda last week and really enjoyed both. Alabaster had the better massage and the ts was an added bonus while panda def. Had the better looking girl but she was rude about asking for a tip as I left although I felt it unnecessary because she was only doing what she was paid to do and didn't even give a good tease. All in all I don't think there are extras to be had at either but that could be cause I'm new to this.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=SpiderMan;1927888]I've never been to the one in Alabaster but if it's like Panda, the problem lies with the curtains for doors. And it always seems like someone is either coming in or leaving, or is in the next room. Or the phone rings and someone leaves to go answer it. There are things to be had, in a way, if the right girl is there (at Panda). There have been a few that will let you suck on their titties, rub their crotch, squeeze a little ass, etc. And some have had no problem with things like that. The problem is you're going to have to take care of yourself. There was one time where all of the above was achieved while she played with my balls, as I hammered away on myself. Believe me I tried to place it in her hands, but she just playfully slapped it away. And I think I tipped 10-15 bucks which was well worth it. They understand the drill, and they pretty much know why we are all there. I don't know why they just don't give in. But you are right about the tipping. If they don't do domething to you, or you to them, fuck that tipping shit. It's like I told that chick the other day. "You didn't do anything to get a tip.[/QUOTE]The curtain doors suck.. The first time I went to Alabaster, as I walk by a room and the curtain was only closed half way and some dude on his back undraped.. Not the visual I wanted going into my massage. I use to go see Cindy at Alabaster, which was well worth the trip. But the others I've seen only allowed self-service. Panda, I did get to play with tits once but it's always been self serve too. I don't care for jerking my own schlong during massage. Don't know why they think they'll get in trouble, it's a massage. I believe, according to law, the client should be draped. I rarely get draped unless they require it. Most will just leave it off and deliberately rub close even graze your schlong and balls to get you hard and leave you hanging.

Stopped by the new H Massage on 280, across from Chic Fil A. Massage was a bit pricey and a little lackluster but her hands roamed free and eventually she tended to my business while I lay face down. Never had that before. I had to lift my ass a little while she went under the chassis. Didn't speak much English and didn't understand her name, but go give it a shot. See what you come up with.

[QUOTE=SpiderMan;1928884]Stopped by the new H Massage on 280, across from Chic Fil A. Massage was a bit pricey and a little lackluster but her hands roamed free and eventually she tended to my business while I lay face down. Never had that before. I had to lift my ass a little while she went under the chassis. Didn't speak much English and didn't understand her name, but go give it a shot. See what you come up with.[/QUOTE]Ran into the guy from Foot in Hoover, and he said Lily (from Hoover) was working at H, but a couple of other girls were coming.

[QUOTE=SpiderMan;1928884]Stopped by the new H Massage on 280, across from Chic Fil A. Massage was a bit pricey and a little lackluster but her hands roamed free and eventually she tended to my business while I lay face down. Never had that before. I had to lift my ass a little while she went under the chassis. Didn't speak much English and didn't understand her name, but go give it a shot. See what you come up with.[/QUOTE]Prices same as Hoover ($79/ hr I think)?

Same folks from Houlang run this I think. I went in and nothing doing for me.

Hey guys, been behind the scenes going around AMPs pretty much, thought it's time for me to leave some reviews about one's I've visited.

Panda as far as I've experienced, good massage, but nothing else, I've not actually tried flipping over over there at all.

H massage tried it recently, but I've not gotten any extra service there, pretty much covered all the way.

The only place I've had luck is VIP, but then again you kinda expect HEs there in the first place.

As for Foot. Well I don't quite know how I feel about that place yet. I just recently went for the first time and when it was time to use her foot, it was basically all butt action from there. It was sort of a prostate massage with her feet, which oddly enough was a weird feeling because at one point I'm thinking she better not bust my nut doing this or give me the proverbial "foot in my ass", but then at the same time I was, aroused? And then on the flip, totally hard, she didn't cover, massaged pretty near my shaft for a while, but declined a HJ. Blue balled...again.

Might give foot another try next time to see what happens.

You're going to leave there with blue nuts everytime unless you want to take matters in your own hands. That foot shit feels good in certain spots, but it's really just a lazy ass way to do a massage. And without a good massage at these places, you have nothing to show for the money you've spent. So, they're not going to do anything sexual wih you. Their objective is to do what they are doing with you. Tease you a little and get you to come back. Maybe tease you some more, get you to come back. And by then with the money you've spent you could've went to VIP and got balls deep in something.

[QUOTE=NoPainNoGain;1932607]Hey guys, been behind the scenes going around AMPs pretty much, thought it's time for me to leave some reviews about one's I've visit0ed.

Panda as far as I've experienced, good massage, but nothing else, I've not actually tried flipping over over there at all.

H massage tried it recently, but I've not gotten any extra service there, pretty much covered all the way.

The only place I've had luck is VIP, but then again you kinda expect HEs there in the first place.

As for Foot. Well I don't quite know how I feel about that place yet. I just recently went for the first time and when it was time to use her foot, it was basically all butt action from there. It was sort of a prostate massage with her feet, which oddly enough was a weird feeling because at one point I'm thinking she better not bust my nut doing this or give me the proverbial "foot in my ass", but then at the same time I was, aroused? And then on the flip, totally hard, she didn't cover, massaged pretty near my shaft for a while, but declined a HJ. Blue balled...again.

Might give foot another try next time to see what happens.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=SpiderMan;1933317]You're going to leave there with blue nuts everytime unless you want to take matters in your own hands. That foot shit feels good in certain spots, but it's really just a lazy ass way to do a massage. And without a good massage at these places, you have nothing to show for the money you've spent. So, they're not going to do anything sexual wih you. Their objective is to do what they are doing with you. Tease you a little and get you to come back. Maybe tease you some more, get you to come back. And by then with the money you've spent you could've went to VIP and got balls deep in something.[/QUOTE]I agree 100%. Its like paying good money to watch a chef prepare a nice meal, then going out back and fixing a sandwich in the alley. It is strange to me to jerk off in front of somebody who is only waiting on you to get done so they can change the sheets (hopefully) for the next victim.

[QUOTE=Bully;1930635]Ran into the guy from Foot in Hoover, and he said Lily (from Hoover) was working at H, but a couple of other girls were coming.[/QUOTE]Mr. Houling owns H, Hoover FA, and Houling in Vestavia. I went in and he was there along with two girls from Hoover FA. Hour massage is 75, there is no ts and I saw four massage rooms, 3 with curtain doors and one with regular door. Massage wasn't great and I had to be draped the whole time. There wasn't even a tease. I won't be going back for 75, especially when you can go to Panda for 50.