Sexual Addiction Reports

[Miketastic69]

If you want to quit, here is some advice. And if you don't want to quit, that's ok, you may ignore this. Now, in practice I've never really quit, but I have managed to slow down or quit for long periods.

1. Be good at budgeting. It includes not only monthly expenses but yearly expenses for which you have to save. Understanding my budget was why I recently quit being a sugardaddy; the SB took too much. (I'll admit that being an SD is great if you can afford it.).

2. Keep a record of what you spend.

3. Throw away the burner phone! This simple idea has worked extremely well for me. I distinguish between "spontaneous" acts and "deliberate" acts. If it's super easy to contact a girl (SB), I'll do it when the mood strikes me. But if there's a barrier (the deliberate act) I can usually stop. Now, someone here will point out there are apps or websites that make it trivial to work around the need for a burner phone. I don't want to hear it, LOL. (Ignorance is bliss here.) Well, if you implement such a workaround it would require a deliberate act. By the way, jumping in the car to see a BP girl whose pic is most likely fake requires a deliberate act, which explains the complaints such girls have about guys getting cold feet.

4. Other misc ideas: have a curfew, avoid street prostitutes (easy since there are hardly any nowadays), don't mix alcohol or drugs with the pursuit of sex, and adhere to safe sex.

5. Best advice: get married or find a girlfriend.

6. Embrace getting old. I'm in my mid-50's and actually like slowing down.Especially tracking expenditures. I we t over my books with my accountant today and he basically quit. He is baffled that I am broke when I should be doing better now than ever. I couldn't tell him that every city especially DC and Orlando I see a BP girl or go to an AMP every single day. He knows Vegas is rife with trouble, but he cannot understand how I have to take money from my savings to pay for life.

This may be my wake up call, yet again. I have quit before but the urge comes back.

[BigBlue4523]

Especially tracking expenditures. I we t over my books with my accountant today and he basically quit. He is baffled that I am broke when I should be doing better now than ever. I couldn't tell him that every city especially DC and Orlando I see a BP girl or go to an AMP every single day. He knows Vegas is rife with trouble, but he cannot understand how I have to take money from my savings to pay for life.

This may be my wake up call, yet again. I have quit before but the urge comes back.How much do you spend a month?

[Head First]

How much do you spend a month?In the past 25+ yrs I've always spent more, never less, each month than I wanted to. That's a big clue that this is a problem / addiction.

[TooBe101]

I know its kinda old to report on this but what to do when things happen without making any effort. This happens with me a lot. I'm good with my spending. Always two weeks or more when I visit someone. But during that time I keep meditating on how to do the girl. The excitement gets real high and the money stays in the pocket but I would be rather happy to spend it like what happened in your case. LOL.

But thanks for great support of working on this addiction. It will need to slow down / stop one day.


Made it only 6 days this cycle. Was driving when I saw a sign for a spa. Never been to this one so I pulled in. Out comes a 30 ish hottie with a smoking body wearing a tight L*B*D and some heels. How much? 45 or 65. Asked her if she was fun and right there in the lobby she leaned over and flashed me her top along with a smile.

Into the room where I was waiting naked when she came back. She brushed against me so I smacked her ass and she giggled. Told her to turn out the light and come back over here. Off came her dress, bra, and panties, just like that. No negotiating, no talking, no nothing. Within a minute she was on the table, on her back, with her legs spread wide open.

She didn't disappoint and neither did I.

I'm sitting here trying to figure out what happened that made me go off the wagon. When I saw the spa sign it was automatic. Instantaneously I pulled in and got out of my car. I've had that happen before and was able to turn around and leave. But not this time. The spa sign was like a huge electro magnet and once I got in it's range I didn't stand a chance.

I left happy. And sad. And mad. And disappointed. In myself. But I'll get over it.

I love this hobby. I hate this hobby.

[Pison00]

I've never made it over a week without mongering my highest was almost a week but I made it for four days. I constantly seek BP, CL, or WSW & BBW on the streets around state or out of state. I'm a cheap man and been mongering over 30 years back in those early years I was roaming the area of Atlanta Georgia, but I didn't live there I lived a little further on Sandy springs. I met many Street walkers some would become potential dates and I even married a street walker who struggled to become clean named Juliet. I met Juliet In 1993 very pretty beautiful girl who suffered abuse all her life and no one really wanted to help her in that time we were close to the same age. My best funnest mongering years were between the late 80's going into the early 2 k's. Nothing has been great ever since. I have met a few good ones here and there but not anything near as great as those years were. Now I'm way older and still in the hobby seeking Potential dreams. I'm a sex addict for sure, but I have also paid woman for their companionships without any sexual activity.

[TheBoobHound]

I was recently thinking about guys like Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed to have boned 20,000 ladies in his career. Gene Simmons made a similar claim of doing 10,000 or 15,000 groupies. I think both claims are bunk, though.

How many does the average dude get in his lifetime? 5? 10? Now it's a known fact that a small number of alpha males have sex with most of the females. I believe this was confirmed by a study of the Tinder dating app, where they saw that 90% of messages from women are sent to just 10% of the men using the app. It's the same distribution you see with money (1% vs 99%, etc). So an alpha stud will pull in far more than an average guy, over 100. If he is single for a long time or is a rock star or athlete or whatever, I could see him joining the 1000 club.

Another possibility is that a guy is part of a couple and active in the swinging community for a sustained time. I guess if they were really active for a decade or two he could reach 1000+.

Obviously, the easiest route is through mongering. It would take years of heavy activity, but I'm sure there are a lot of guys in the 1000 club on this forum.

Flipping it around, I'd wager that every working girl passes 100 partners in her first month of service, and 1000 after her first year. It's tricky though, because they don't really work the same schedule as an office job or whatever. A lot of them will work hard for 6 weeks, then not at all for a few months. Still, the ladies who stick with it for years and decades probably do reach those Wilt and Gene levels. I know in my hometown, there is a woman who's owned (and been the only worker of) a massage parlor for 22 years. I'm sure she has a lot of longtime, repeat customers, but that's still a ton of dick over the years.

[Cephlapod Love]

I was recently thinking about guys like Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed to have boned 20,000 ladies in his career. Gene Simmons made a similar claim of doing 10,000 or 15,000 groupies. I think both claims are bunk, though.

How many does the average dude get in his lifetime? 5? 10? Now it's a known fact that a small number of alpha males have sex with most of the females. I believe this was confirmed by a study of the Tinder dating app, where they saw that 90% of messages from women are sent to just 10% of the men using the app. It's the same distribution you see with money (1% vs 99%, etc). So an alpha stud will pull in far more than an average guy, over 100. If he is single for a long time or is a rock star or athlete or whatever, I could see him joining the 1000 club.

Another possibility is that a guy is part of a couple and active in the swinging community for a sustained time. I guess if they were really active for a decade or two he could reach 1000+.

Obviously, the easiest route is through mongering. It would take years of heavy activity, but I'm sure there are a lot of guys in the 1000 club on this forum.

Flipping it around, I'd wager that every working girl passes 100 partners in her first month of service, and 1000 after her first year. It's tricky though, because they don't really work the same schedule as an office job or whatever. A lot of them will work hard for 6 weeks, then not at all for a few months. Still, the ladies who stick with it for years and decades probably do reach those Wilt and Gene levels. I know in my hometown, there is a woman who's owned (and been the only worker of) a massage parlor for 22 years. I'm sure she has a lot of longtime, repeat customers, but that's still a ton of dick over the years.Eh, I'm guessing very few people, men or women, sleep with 1,000 partners in a life time. I know guys that are real sluts and bang anything that moves for the last 10 yrs or so and have only racked up just over 200 partners. Problem is that when one finds a girl they like or click with, then they tend to repeat with her. 10,000 sexual encounters in a life time is plausible however, assuming 65 years of activity that's only 152/ year or 3 per week.

As far as swingers go? Doubt that is a solution as couples tend to find "relationships" for sex and stick with them. SM's that are out getting notches on a bedpost get discovered pretty quickly and avoided by many. What dude wants his girl to bang some guy who has slept with the entire zip code?

Just my thoughts. Fwiw!

[Knucklebuck]

My best funnest mongering years were between the late 80's going into the early 2 k's. Nothing has been great ever since. I have met a few good ones here and there but not anything near as great as those years were. Now I'm way older and still in the hobby seeking Potential dreams. I'm a sex addict for sure, but I have also paid woman for their companionships without any sexual activity.I got active in the mid to late '90's and the street scene was great. Now, it's a wasteland. I miss the crack's heyday.

[LustyGuy]

I am in my 70's and have struggled with the sex addition concept. I have been mongering for the last 5 years (since my wife gave up cooking and sex) and have at least 300 encounters so far. I simply have a compulsion to release into beautiful young girls. It is just natural. Mother nature gave us this wonderful equipment and it is our god given duty to use it. This goes for both men and women. I feel wonderful after each release. How is that wrong? The only problem I have is that I don't have enough money to do all the girls I would like to do and that age is slowing me down (thank god for viagra. Truly a miracle drug!) Later this month I have a trip to Buenos Aires where I have a 19 year old guide and novia lined up for 10 days! Talk about an intensive Spanish class. I plan to keep releasing as long as I can. Keeps the prostate healthy, good exericse, and you meet a lot of wonderful girls! I hope some of you agree with me. LG Huntsville Alabama.

[HuntLadys29]

I am in my 70's and have struggled with the sex addition concept. I have been mongering for the last 5 years (since my wife gave up cooking and sex) and have at least 300 encounters so far. I simply have a compulsion to release into beautiful young girls. It is just natural. Mother nature gave us this wonderful equipment and it is our god given duty to use it. This goes for both men and women. I feel wonderful after each release. How is that wrong? The only problem I have is that I don't have enough money to do all the girls I would like to do and that age is slowing me down (thank god for viagra. Truly a miracle drug!) Later this month I have a trip to Buenos Aires where I have a 19 year old guide and novia lined up for 10 days! Talk about an intensive Spanish class. I plan to keep releasing as long as I can. Keeps the prostate healthy, good exericse, and you meet a lot of wonderful girls! I hope some of you agree with me. LG Huntsville Alabama.I am 59 and I have a S / O at home who doesn't show interest in our sex life I have to initiate everything she is still attractive but the menopause thing has been a problem for her and our relationship. But I wasn't and haven't been a faithful guy in our entire relationship I've cheated from day 1 and I really love her if I wasn't with her I'm sure I would never commit to anyone else. But I can't stop seeing women I don't want a relationship or an affair, I just want to see and feel different pussies tits ass faces. I can't go a week it's been 5 days and I'm raring to go, Thursday is the day I've been searching backpage escort Babylon and USASG to find the one I want even thinking about old favorites and I won't be satisfied till the deed is done. I guess I am addicted to sex. HL29.

[BigBlue4523]

I am 59 and I have a S / O at home who doesn't show interest in our sex life I have to initiate everything she is still attractive but the menopause thing has been a problem for her and our relationship. But I wasn't and haven't been a faithful guy in our entire relationship I've cheated from day 1 and I really love her if I wasn't with her I'm sure I would never commit to anyone else. But I can't stop seeing women I don't want a relationship or an affair, I just want to see and feel different pussies tits ass faces. I can't go a week it's been 5 days and I'm raring to go, Thursday is the day I've been searching backpage escort Babylon and USASG to find the one I want even thinking about old favorites and I won't be satisfied till the deed is done. I guess I am addicted to sex. HL29.Sex addiction is probably far more rare than is diagnosed. Think Tiger Woods was really a sex addict? Dude slept with like 120 chicks over 6 years. Most mongerS would hit that mark on 3 months!

Some people can't control their behavior (I. E. Look at porn 20 hours a day) but most of us just love pussies. And yeah it's entirely possible to love your SO and supplement with other women.

[Miketastic69]

I don't classify myself a sex addict. I love pussy, and I like change. I picked a profession where I could travel and see new places and meet new people (USMC) and I have kept that going into retirement and in my new business. I have had the good fortune of traveling every week and had a lot of fun.

Now the sobering reality. I'm fucking broke. In a year where I've made the most money I ever have in life, I can barely pay for anything extra. I'm bleeding flowers, or Mario coins, or hearts, or chocolates and all the other things we call donations. I am trying to put my hobbying on pause but I am finding it hard. Maybe I do need to seek someone with a license on the wall to talk to.

[Miketastic69]

I don't classify myself a sex addict. I love pussy, and I like change. I picked a profession where I could travel and see new places and meet new people (USMC) and I have kept that going into retirement and in my new business. I have had the good fortune of traveling every week and had a lot of fun.

Now the sobering reality. I'm fucking broke. In a year where I've made the most money I ever have in life, I can barely pay for anything extra. I'm bleeding flowers, or Mario coins, or hearts, or chocolates and all the other things we call donations. I am trying to put my hobbying on pause but I am finding it hard. Maybe I do need to seek someone with a license on the wall to talk to.I know providers in every state, but don't have any friends to speak of anywhere.

[Miketastic69]

I am in my 70's and have struggled with the sex addition concept. I have been mongering for the last 5 years (since my wife gave up cooking and sex) and have at least 300 encounters so far. I simply have a compulsion to release into beautiful young girls. It is just natural. Mother nature gave us this wonderful equipment and it is our god given duty to use it. This goes for both men and women. I feel wonderful after each release. How is that wrong? The only problem I have is that I don't have enough money to do all the girls I would like to do and that age is slowing me down (thank god for viagra. Truly a miracle drug!) Later this month I have a trip to Buenos Aires where I have a 19 year old guide and novia lined up for 10 days! Talk about an intensive Spanish class. I plan to keep releasing as long as I can. Keeps the prostate healthy, good exericse, and you meet a lot of wonderful girls! I hope some of you agree with me. LG Huntsville Alabama.I am wondering if this is the way I will continue to be into my 70's? I did the novia thing in Dominica last year and it was great. We actually told each other we loved each other after the 2 weeks. Me and the other 10 guys she sees a year.

I am at a point where I have to take viagra and chase it with cialis, and I use an otc like stiff nights or black panther. Sucks getting old, but my prostate still works like a champ!

[DarkSideOfMe]

I know its kinda old to report on this but what to do when things happen without making any effort. This happens with me a lot. I'm good with my spending. Always two weeks or more when I visit someone. But during that time I keep meditating on how to do the girl. The excitement gets real high and the money stays in the pocket but I would be rather happy to spend it like what happened in your case. LOL.

But thanks for great support of working on this addiction. It will need to slow down / stop one day.I can't stop, slow down, step away from this"game"! When I'm on a Buss. Trip I can run 3,4 AMPs in a row, something about the "rush" that I'm feeling, the high, to see a girl walk into the room, and the touch. (Asian) Hard to figure out. I'm" OLD, (not 70) LOL but have more of a sex appt. ,now, then when I was 16. The more I get, the more I want, money is not a problem for me, so AMPs, BP, strip clubs girls, have no limits for me. I have a great wife at home, not interested in sex anymore, so I feel what I do on my" Buss. Trips" is ok! I'm not hurting anyone, am I? So am I a bad person, Am I a sex addt. ? You tell me! Drk.

[Head First]

I can't stop, slow down, step away from this"game"! When I'm on a Buss. Trip I can run 3,4 AMPs in a row, something about the "rush" that I'm feeling, the high, to see a girl walk into the room, and the touch. (Asian) Hard to figure out. I'm" OLD, (not 70) LOL but have more of a sex appt. ,now, then when I was 16. The more I get, the more I want, money is not a problem for me, so AMPs, BP, strip clubs girls, have no limits for me. I have a great wife at home, not interested in sex anymore, so I feel what I do on my" Buss. Trips" is ok! I'm not hurting anyone, am I? So am I a bad person, Am I a sex addt. ? You tell me! Drk.I don't know if you're a bad person because I don't know you. But just because you / we may have an issue with sex addiction wouldn't make you (or any of us) a bad person. I'm sure 99% of us in here are good to excellent people. We just have justified this lifestyle we choose to lead (usually on the down low) over choosing to be in a more acceptable (and out in the open) relationship.

Or maybe we're just bored with our partner and want to add some spice to our life / sex life. Who really knows. I'm sure there's many explanations why we do this.

Are you / we sex addicts? Probably. But that has to answered individually and the easiest / quickest / cheapest way to answer that question is to try and leave. That'll tell real you fast.

As for me, the longest I've made it in the past 25+ yrs is 23 days. I was really proud of myself but in the real world that's pathetic. As I type this post I'm at 18 days since my last encounter (not counting self service).

It sounds like you've had some success in other areas of your life. If this is a concern of yours and you're looking for answers to some of your questions, as we all here are, see if you can stay away. That'll be a good starting point.

If not, have fun doing what you're doing. I'm sure it's hell being in a sexless marriage.

[Head First]

I know providers in every state, but don't have any friends to speak of anywhere.A HUGE helping of self realization right there.

Not too far behind you on that, my friend.

[Miketastic69]

I can't stop, slow down, step away from this"game"! When I'm on a Buss. Trip I can run 3,4 AMPs in a row, something about the "rush" that I'm feeling, the high, to see a girl walk into the room, and the touch. (Asian) Hard to figure out. I'm" OLD, (not 70) LOL but have more of a sex appt. ,now, then when I was 16. The more I get, the more I want, money is not a problem for me, so AMPs, BP, strip clubs girls, have no limits for me. I have a great wife at home, not interested in sex anymore, so I feel what I do on my" Buss. Trips" is ok! I'm not hurting anyone, am I? So am I a bad person, Am I a sex addt. ? You tell me! Drk.In life these are just adjectives. Good and bad are moving targets. Is it bad to see a provider who uses her skills in bed because she may have tried the job market and failed, but still can make money to feed herself and her family?

[Cephlapod Love]

What is the definition of a Sl*t? An addict?

How many days one had sex in a month qualifies?

How many different partners fits those definitions?

Is binge fucking a symptom? Numerous girls in one day?

Is it possible I am one?

[Miketastic69]

What is the definition of a Sl*t? An addict?

How many days one had sex in a month qualifies?

How many different partners fits those definitions?

Is binge fucking a symptom? Numerous girls in one day?

Is it possible I am one?In the road of sex life.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

What is the definition of a Sl*t? An addict?

How many days one had sex in a month qualifies?

How many different partners fits those definitions?

Is binge fucking a symptom? Numerous girls in one day?

Is it possible I am one?I think it depends more on how preoccupied you are with it than how often you actually get it. Most guys think about sex a fair amount, but only some guys (myself included) think about it to where it starts to affect other things. I probably think about it more than what is good for a guy.

Also depends on what you're risking. I use a cover for everything, but I'm still risking disease. I'm also risking things like getting beaten or robbed by a pimp, getting on a 5 o'clock news or having, say, a car wreck in a part of town where I have no legit reason for being. I see providers about 1-2 times a month. Which isn't much compared to a lot of guys here, but I'm risking a lot to do even that much.

So with my definition, yes, I am a sex addict.

[DarkSideOfMe]

Well I'm here again, looking for the answer that we can't seem to find for ourselves, I have made it past a few winter months, my travel for Buss. Is going to start back up next week! What better place to go looking for pussy, but "Motown, week after LV. There is no hope for me now, my heart has been racing for weeks in anticipation. My old fingers can't (Tap fast enough USA, Ter, Back page, Craigslist) you name it, I've been there. Taking notes, reading post, texting, writing down numbers, making calls. I think Ill say it now and get it out of the way: I'm a sex addict, so fuck it, I'm going to fuck as many as I can, and roll the dice, before my time has expired! I just can't stop this "high" I'm on now, no matter what I try! See you on the other side, stay safe my friends! Drk.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

I began seeing providers when I was in the military three decades ago, stopped for several years when I left the service, saw a couple SWs in the '90's. I stopped picking up SWs because LE in my city began cracking down and because of the overall risks. However, I did a lot of window shopping for many years after that. I guess cruising around and just looking was kind of a substitute for porn. Even without partaking, it was a huge turn on just knowing there were chicks out there who would drop their panties if the price was right.

Then life and high speed internet happened. In the late 2000's, my marriage was rocky, I checked out online porn one day, and it was like a hit of crack. I watched and whacked off nearly every day for a couple years. But eventually that wasn't enough and I wanted to tap the real thing. Resumed seeing providers in the early 2010's. I didn't do FS with them at first due to fear of disease and figuring I wasn't really cheating if I didn't screw them. But of course I soon crossed that line and it's been game on for most of the last 5 years or so.

I used to be able to go a few months without seeing a chick. Now, going 2-3 weeks is torture. I go through a lot of burner phones because I "quit" only to get back in the game at some point. I only get action 1, maybe 2 times a month, which isn't much compared to a lot of guys on USA. But I come to this or related sites almost every day, I still watch porn 2-4 times a week, and I spend a lot of time planning, researching etc who would be the best or most convenient chick to get with. Oh yeah, and the other thing that happened in the last several years was yoga pants and leggings. Man, those reveal far more than the tightest pair of jeans back in the day. Makes it so much harder to stay away from the game. After seeing a bunch of hot 20-something bodies bouncing around at the gym, I start to think, why am I fantasizing, I can just get my burner phone and get with a hot 20-something right now.

It's been 23 days for me since I saw a chick. I occasionally have days where I never visit a site I shouldn't, but it's rare.

[Cephlapod Love]

I used to be able to go a few months without seeing a chick. Now, going 2-3 weeks is torture. I go through a lot of burner phones because I "quit" only to get back in the game at some point. I only get action 1, maybe 2 times a month, which isn't much compared to a lot of guys on USA. But I come to this or related sites almost every day, I still watch porn 2-4 times a week, and I spend a lot of time planning, researching etc who would be the best or most convenient chick to get with. Oh yeah, and the other thing that happened in the last several years was yoga pants and leggings. Man, those reveal far more than the tightest pair of jeans back in the day. Makes it so much harder to stay away from the game. After seeing a bunch of hot 20-something bodies bouncing around at the gym, I start to think, why am I fantasizing, I can just get my burner phone and get with a hot 20-something right now.

It's been 23 days for me since I saw a chick.Er, not mocking or bragging, but thanks for that as if that is where a line can be drawn I am miles beyond that and thus in VERY deep! I mean if 2-3 weeks is torture, then what does that say for 2-3 days? Sigh.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

Er, not mocking or bragging, but thanks for that as if that is where a line can be drawn I am miles beyond that and thus in VERY deep! I mean if 2-3 weeks is torture, then what does that say for 2-3 days? Sigh.There have been lots of times when I've seen a chick, I swear I won't do it again, and I'm plotting my next action a few days later. 2-3 weeks is about how long it takes to where I'm climbing the walls and am about to lose my mind.

[Cephlapod Love]

There have been lots of times when I've seen a chick, I swear I won't do it again, and I'm plotting my next action a few days later. 2-3 weeks is about how long it takes to where I'm climbing the walls and am about to lose my mind.So how many different girls in a month might be an indicator?

[John HandCock]

So how many different girls in a month might be an indicator?People like to get caught up in the numbers game. Addiction is a word that can be used on everything in one3's life. From cigarettes to you name it its an addiction. For me it means is it threatning my health and welfare.

Now everyone has something to lose in this hobby but its a conscious choice we make to play the game. Its pretty simple to me, if it threatens my health or welfare then its time I seek professional help. Oh and to change one has to develop, new habits and friends.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

So how many different girls in a month might be an indicator?Hate to keep saying that, but it depends. My income is all right, but I'm stretching my budget to average 1 or 2 encounters a month with an above average provider. I usually stay away from the lower cost chicks because they tend to have more risks than the higher end ones, at least in my area (Cincinnati).

To me, this isn't like drinking where you can say more definitely how many drinks are likely to be a problem for the average person. I regard myself as a sex addict because of my overall picture. Things like the amount of time I spend on sites like this, the preoccupation with getting a piece, texting providers to see who's available and where they are, visiting porn sites at least a few times a week, traveling to see providers I've scheduled with, and then actually seeing them. It's a lot of lost time, cash, and income.

It all comes down to whether you consider it to be a problem for you in your particular case, IMO.

[Member #5605]

If you DO have a "problem" by whatever definition YIOU determine it to be, see a therapist, and STAY AWAY FROM ANY AND ALL "12 Step Groups" like "SAA" (Sex Addicts Alnonymous), or "Love and Sex Addicts Anonymous). They believe that "sex" is a "character defect" and can be "fixed" with "spirituality". Its the biggest bullshit of a "recovery group" since its close cousins, AA and NA were excreted into existence!


Hate to keep saying that, but it depends. My income is all right, but I'm stretching my budget to average 1 or 2 encounters a month with an above average provider. I usually stay away from the lower cost chicks because they tend to have more risks than the higher end ones, at least in my area (Cincinnati).

To me, this isn't like drinking where you can say more definitely how many drinks are likely to be a problem for the average person. I regard myself as a sex addict because of my overall picture. Things like the amount of time I spend on sites like this, the preoccupation with getting a piece, texting providers to see who's available and where they are, visiting porn sites at least a few times a week, traveling to see providers I've scheduled with, and then actually seeing them. It's a lot of lost time, cash, and income.

It all comes down to whether you consider it to be a problem for you in your particular case, IMO.

[Knucklebuck]

If you DO have a "problem" by whatever definition YIOU determine it to be, see a therapist, and STAY AWAY FROM ANY AND ALL "12 Step Groups" like "SAA" (Sex Addicts Alnonymous), or "Love and Sex Addicts Anonymous). They believe that "sex" is a "character defect" and can be "fixed" with "spirituality". Its the biggest bullshit of a "recovery group" since its close cousins, AA and NA were excreted into existence!So no chance of hooking up with like minded Sexually addicted women at these meetings?

[Member #5605]

Right-like there are somehow "sex addicted women" at a 12 Step meeting designed to "recover" from such?


So no chance of hooking up with like minded Sexually addicted women at these meetings?

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

If you DO have a "problem" by whatever definition YIOU determine it to be, see a therapist, and STAY AWAY FROM ANY AND ALL "12 Step Groups" like "SAA" (Sex Addicts Alnonymous), or "Love and Sex Addicts Anonymous). They believe that "sex" is a "character defect" and can be "fixed" with "spirituality". Its the biggest bullshit of a "recovery group" since its close cousins, AA and NA were excreted into existence!To SAA or LSAA meetings. Hanging out with genuine sex offenders (which I'm sure there are quite a few of there) is not my idea of a good time.

Instead, I'm hitting the gym a lot, both so I can check out hot women in tight clothes and so I can find a bed buddy.

[Knucklebuck]

Right-like there are somehow "sex addicted women" at a 12 Step meeting designed to "recover" from such?LOL good to know!

[SecretSquirell]

Right-like there are somehow "sex addicted women" at a 12 Step meeting designed to "recover" from such?I can say from experience that there are, it's like 5 or 6 to 1 men to women (there are also more single sex only meetings for obvious reasons) but there are some there. For me, attending several meetings and listening to their stories just helped me understand that while it could turn into a problem if I let it but I don't consider myself an addict.

It works for those that feel they need help and can commit to their programs. And most are free working solely on donations.

[Cephlapod Love]

If you DO have a "problem" by whatever definition YIOU determine it to be, see a therapist, and STAY AWAY FROM ANY AND ALL "12 Step Groups" like "SAA" (Sex Addicts Alnonymous), or "Love and Sex Addicts Anonymous). They believe that "sex" is a "character defect" and can be "fixed" with "spirituality". Its the biggest bullshit of a "recovery group" since its close cousins, AA and NA were excreted into existence!Yeah, seems like everybody and their brother co-opted the 12 Step process to use for their addiction. Problem is that Bill W the originator of the 12 Step Process in AA, says it isn't always applicable to other "addictions!" For example, when it gets misapplied to hard drugs, it has a 10% success rate which means 90% failure. So, I would NOT be impressed with a "treatment" regime that is not scientifically based and no just some co-opt of another process. If you truly believe, it works! What's that sound like? Jim Jones?

[Hargow20]

I consider myself to a be connoisseur of good looking women. In my mind out fun is not much different than some guy that goes out to pick up good looking women.

Personally I have cut back since there less supply and variety in SD and socal. Up until about 4 years ago SD used to have a ample supply of SW's. The police cracked down and chased away most of SW's on ECB. These days there is only a few BSW's and the occasional chunky LSW. Much of this is because the SW's insisted on working in small 5-7 area of ECB. So this made it very easy for the cops give them tickets and most of them go arrest warrants and left town and or arrested. The hunt for SW's is almost as exciting as the sex itself. The chance of finding a better looking SW was fun.

These days I head down to Tijuana roughly every 2 weeks depending on how the action is in Tijuana. As most of you know I prefer the US girls. This because they give better service and are willing to do more. The variety of WSW in the Zona has is limited. I also find that heading all the to Tijuana takes a lot out of me. The good thing however is that I always find a good WSW to satisfy my needs.

[Head First]

I don't classify myself a sex addict. I love pussy, and I like change. I picked a profession where I could travel and see new places and meet new people (USMC) and I have kept that going into retirement and in my new business. I have had the good fortune of traveling every week and had a lot of fun.

Now the sobering reality. I'm fucking broke. In a year where I've made the most money I ever have in life, I can barely pay for anything extra. I'm bleeding flowers, or Mario coins, or hearts, or chocolates and all the other things we call donations. I am trying to put my hobbying on pause but I am finding it hard. Maybe I do need to seek someone with a license on the wall to talk to.It took me a long time to admit (to myself) that I might have a problem with sex addiction. But I got there a while back. Admitted it to my psychiatrist. We talked about it, he said he didn't think I did. Huh? A few visits later I bring it up again and he says Ok, maybe you do, go see this guy. I called 5 X, left 5 messages that I'd like to make an appt., never heard from him.

Fast forward to last summer. The psychiatrist's license has been revoked. Overnight he's out of business. The reason: One of his female patients brought charges against him claiming inappropriate sexual behavior was happening in his office. He was a sex addict himself. Oh, did I mention his office was practically wall papered with diplomas, and licenses, and local and national awards.

It can happen to anyone. And does. So be careful if you get to the point where you seek out professional help.

IMHO, the fact that we're posting in this section asking questions indicates that we're at the edge but haven't decided if we want to get better or get laid.

I've read books. Taken a phone call with the author of a sex addiction book. He asked me how much I spend on this hobby. He said for that amount I could get plenty of professional help. He asked if I had insurance. I do but it doesn't cover addiction / mental issues adequately. I reasoned that if I had to pay for it out of my own pocket I would rather go find some pussy.

He says I haven't hit bottom yet. So it's a timing thing and a roll of the dice too. How lucky do I feel that I can continue this hobby before being exposed and my life exploding.

I think my luck is running out so I'm doing what helped me stop my other addictions. Tapering off. I'm making a conscious effort to stay away from paying for pussy. So far only one slip since Dec. 28.

It seems to be working but as any (recovering) addict knows, it's a slippery slope.

In the meantime I'm looking for help but not necessarily from a professional. I think it makes more sense to get help from someone who's been there done that.

[Head First]

For Lent I gave up visiting usasexguide.info

Didn't make it even 24 hrs.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

For Lent I gave up visiting usasexguide.info

Didn't make it even 24 hrs.I've never given up USASG for lent, but I have sworn it off, only to be back in about 2 or 3 days.

[Head First]

I've never given up USASG for lent, but I have sworn it off, only to be back in about 2 or 3 days.Replaced USASG with Facebook for Lent and I got back on track.

Fall down 7 times, Get up 8.

[Automan]

1st I seen.

http://louisville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/let-me-come-to-you/12251741

Great service, the splits thing had me sold. She laid on her stomach and did the splits while I went to never had anyone do that, better looking in person,.

Katie, Mandy Mo or whatever she goes by. Service was rushed. Felt sketchy on location but all went well and got out safe. I believe someone else was in the apartment. It was located off Rockford lane. Cover she had none. Her number is a 994. I mentioned this girl in q post a few days ago.

Last but definitely the best.

BBW Samantha saw her on fernvalley, she's got a 369 number beautiful thick girl, best personality of anyone I've ever seen. She tops Mia on personality. Very vocal not at all a clock watcher. I damn sure went well over my time. I must say she's my newest favorite.

I believe I've been in this game way to long and I'm going to try and retire. I'm going to head out and seek some help for addiction. I believe this is a addictive game and not the safest. I've been at it since 98 and that way to long. I feel my luck might run out. I'm looking for any possible referrals for addiction help I've realize I'm a sex addict as prob a lot of us are. Good luck and be safe.

[Member #6040]

1st I seen.

http://louisville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/let-me-come-to-you/12251741

Great service, the splits thing had me sold. She laid on her stomach and did the splits while I went to never had anyone do that, better looking in person,.

Katie, Mandy Mo or whatever she goes by. Service was rushed. Felt sketchy on location but all went well and got out safe. I believe someone else was in the apartment. It was located off Rockford lane. Cover she had none. Her number is a 994. I mentioned this girl in q post a few days ago.

Last but definitely the best.

BBW Samantha saw her on fernvalley, she's got a 369 number beautiful thick girl, best personality of anyone I've ever seen. She tops Mia on personality. Very vocal not at all a clock watcher. I damn sure went well over my time. I must say she's my newest favorite.

I believe I've been in this game way to long and I'm going to try and retire. I'm going to head out and seek some help for addiction. I believe this is a addictive game and not the safest. I've been at it since 98 and that way to long. I feel my luck might run out. I'm looking for any possible referrals for addiction help I've realize I'm a sex addict as prob a lot of us are. Good luck and be safe.I too have been in the game about the same length of time, at times I've thought the same. Don't think I can completely give it up yet, but did take a recent break, I made it 29 days and completely understand. It can be very addictive and you have to control it like any other addiction. I took about a month long break and my goal is now just 1 appointment a week. I wish you the best and appreciate your help in the last year. Good luck man, and keep in touch!

HC.

[Patky63]

I too have been in the game about the same length of time, at times I've thought the same. Don't think I can completely give it up yet, but did take a recent break, I made it 29 days and completely understand. It can be very addictive and you have to control it like any other addiction. I took about a month long break and my goal is now just 1 appointment a week. I wish you the best and appreciate your help in the last year. Good luck man, and keep in touch!

HC.I think I might gotten addicted to hs hobby also. After getting divorced about 2 years ago a buddy of mine introduced me to backpage and I went a little crazy. I was averaging 2 providers a day for 3 to 4 times a week. I am pretty easy going and not bad looking so a lot of providers I saw and had great chemistry with actually started contacting fairly often and it got harder and harder to say no. A couple of times I even saw 4 in a 24 hour period. Even with the super discounted rates they were giving me I did not want to get financially ruined and realized that just like any other drug it could lead to that. In the last month I started evaluating my condition and decided to back off. I love to fish and play golf also so I decided to concentrate on those hobbies instead. I found out that I started enjoying my sessions with my favorite providers more and now I am only in this hobby once or twice a week. To those of you that might fall in the same pattern I did get some professional help if necessary. I stopped myself but was willing to ask for help if necessary. Keep in mind that everything in moderation is always more enjoyable. Good luck and stay safe.

P.

[JustFriends]

I think the addiction stems from too much disposable income. I used to have the same problem, still kind of do. But I found that the more bills I have to pay, the less likely I am to even think about seeing a provider. And when I do, due to the financial limits I placed on myself, I seek out girls I've seen before and really enjoyed. I rarely ever see new girls often because it's too expensive.

Just for example, I totaled my car not too long ago and am now stuck with making car payments again and increased premium. That, I didn't foresee, so the money I was using to fill my addiction crave to prostitutes, I no longer have unless I want to go in even more debt and worst. We all have biological needs so either we can get a girlfriend or fuck prostitutes. I don't like jacking off because it just leaves me feeling even more deprived. Sure, some people have a lot of money and don't have to worry about balancing a budget for paying for pussy routinely, but that is not me. So I try to use discipline to break the habit. Willpower alone and money burning that hole in your pocket are always a bad combination.

Now that I think about it, if I had more discipline in the beginning, I wouldn't have spent so much on this stuff. You really don't see how this clouds your brain in everyday life until you start trying to get clean. It's kind of like porn, except we have an unlimited access to real pussy we just call and pay up for any time of the day. So why should we try pursing girls outside of this? No reason. Except that this can become a real addiction and cloud your judgement and the way your brain operates. It's very weird in all honesty.

[BendeMover]

I think the addiction stems from too much disposable income. I used to have the same problem, still kind of do. But I found that the more bills I have to pay, the less likely I am to even think about seeing a provider. And when I do, due to the financial limits I placed on myself, I seek out girls I've seen before and really enjoyed. I rarely ever see new girls often because it's too expensive.

Just for example, I totaled my car not too long ago and am now stuck with making car payments again and increased premium. That, I didn't foresee, so the money I was using to fill my addiction crave to prostitutes, I no longer have unless I want to go in even more debt and worst. We all have biological needs so either we can get a girlfriend or fuck prostitutes. I don't like jacking off because it just leaves me feeling even more deprived. Sure, some people have a lot of money and don't have to worry about balancing a budget for paying for pussy routinely, but that is not me. So I try to use discipline to break the habit. Willpower alone and money burning that hole in your pocket are always a bad combination.

Now that I think about it, if I had more discipline in the beginning, I wouldn't have spent so much on this stuff. You really don't see how this clouds your brain in everyday life until you start trying to get clean. It's kind of like porn, except we have an unlimited access to real pussy we just call and pay up for any time of the day. So why should we try pursing girls outside of this? No reason. Except that this can become a real addiction and cloud your judgement and the way your brain operates. It's very weird in all honesty.Thanks, to the members that are addressing the white elephant in the room. I imagine this is more of an addiction than hobby for most of us, but difficult to admit because of the shame often felt with addiction. Sexual feelings and desires are natural and important, but we don't want those feelings and desires to jeopardize our chances of happiness in life. I would suggest a section to address and share addiction concerns with other members. Hobby or Addiction, Bro's or Ho's, Tits or Ass- We should all support the wellbeing of everyone. Just a thought.

[Lukos832]

I think the addiction stems from too much disposable income. I used to have the same problem, still kind of do. But I found that the more bills I have to pay, the less likely I am to even think about seeing a provider. And when I do, due to the financial limits I placed on myself, I seek out girls I've seen before and really enjoyed. I rarely ever see new girls often because it's too expensive.

Just for example, I totaled my car not too long ago and am now stuck with making car payments again and increased premium. That, I didn't foresee, so the money I was using to fill my addiction crave to prostitutes, I no longer have unless I want to go in even more debt and worst. We all have biological needs so either we can get a girlfriend or fuck prostitutes. I don't like jacking off because it just leaves me feeling even more deprived. Sure, some people have a lot of money and don't have to worry about balancing a budget for paying for pussy routinely, but that is not me. So I try to use discipline to break the habit. Willpower alone and money burning that hole in your pocket are always a bad combination.

Now that I think about it, if I had more discipline in the beginning, I wouldn't have spent so much on this stuff. You really don't see how this clouds your brain in everyday life until you start trying to get clean. It's kind of like porn, except we have an unlimited access to real pussy we just call and pay up for any time of the day. So why should we try pursing girls outside of this? No reason. Except that this can become a real addiction and cloud your judgement and the way your brain operates. It's very weird in all honesty.If you date women your going to spend 120.00 every night on them. To me I would rather have one young sexy lady that I can call two times a week. I am 56 and been called handsome, but really I know I would never be able to have a young sexy lady as I did when I was 35. I am two time married and divorced and NOT looking for a third marriage. I guess what I am saying we (men) are going to pay either way, so why not have a thin, sexy, firm young 20 year old to cuddle up with?? Lukos.

[Me7239]

I think the addiction stems from too much disposable income. I used to have the same problem, still kind of do. But I found that the more bills I have to pay, the less likely I am to even think about seeing a provider. And when I do, due to the financial limits I placed on myself, I seek out girls I've seen before and really enjoyed. I rarely ever see new girls often because it's too expensive.

Just for example, I totaled my car not too long ago and am now stuck with making car payments again and increased premium. That, I didn't foresee, so the money I was using to fill my addiction crave to prostitutes, I no longer have unless I want to go in even more debt and worst. We all have biological needs so either we can get a girlfriend or fuck prostitutes. I don't like jacking off because it just leaves me feeling even more deprived. Sure, some people have a lot of money and don't have to worry about balancing a budget for paying for pussy routinely, but that is not me. So I try to use discipline to break the habit. Willpower alone and money burning that hole in your pocket are always a bad combination.

Now that I think about it, if I had more discipline in the beginning, I wouldn't have spent so much on this stuff. You really don't see how this clouds your brain in everyday life until you start trying to get clean. It's kind of like porn, except we have an unlimited access to real pussy we just call and pay up for any time of the day. So why should we try pursing girls outside of this? No reason. Except that this can become a real addiction and cloud your judgement and the way your brain operates. It's very weird in all honesty.I would say that you are not an addict. If you have the will power to do the correct thing than you are under control. I would consider your use of the hobby as more of an luxury every now and then. In my younger years nothing would stop me from getting what I wanted. Until I had gotten what I wanted I was going to make a bad decision. I definitely went into debt playing in the hobby. My rent was late, I missed car payments, I couldn't buy people gifts and it had an overall negative experience on my life. However If I needed my fix it didn't mater. Now that I am older and money is no longer an issue I don't seem to play as much. Funny how that works.

I think its different for all of us, however if we are honest with our selves the hobby for the most part is a negative in ones life. It affects all relationships most of the time and its hard to see things practically past the sexual experience. I think I have realized that as I have gotten older and I have tried to make changes for the most part. I still slip every now and then but not to the extent that I once did in the past.

[MrChooShoes]

I don't consider myself a sex addict because I do not go on the hunt for it. I'm not going broke, I'm not hurting my wife; if I need it or desire it, I work it into my own little budget.

I pay someone to touch me once a month. I want to be caressed, my lips to be sucked on, my neck to be kissed; just to feel her mess my hair up, look into my eyes, smile at me.

I want to feel passion and elation of being the most important person in someone's life, if just for an hour.

I do not get that at home.

I long to be touched and kissed. And therefore, I am willing to pay for it on a monthly basis. I feel it keeps me sane in this too crazy world.

If that's an addiction, then ok. I'm good with it. As long as I'm not putting another human in danger, humiliation, drama.

[ChuckNdHowz]

Any information on this one?

http://louisville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/daddys-little-girl-louisville-5-5-5-8-100-real-life-fun-size-treat/12730168

[TwistedBrother]

I've been in 12-step groups for Sex Addiction off and on over the years and have seen people who want to stop, and stay stopped, having success. Maybe didn't work for you, but works for others and would work for me if I was willing. So speak for yourself, but please don't try to force your opinion on others. That's not to say a therapist, or some combination might work for someone. To each his own. The point is if it's out of control and messing up your life, you find out what works and do it. For some, that will be 12 step.


If you DO have a "problem" by whatever definition YIOU determine it to be, see a therapist, and STAY AWAY FROM ANY AND ALL "12 Step Groups" like "SAA" (Sex Addicts Alnonymous), or "Love and Sex Addicts Anonymous). They believe that "sex" is a "character defect" and can be "fixed" with "spirituality". Its the biggest bullshit of a "recovery group" since its close cousins, AA and NA were excreted into existence!

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

I've been in 12-step groups for Sex Addiction off and on over the years and have seen people who want to stop, and stay stopped, having success. Maybe didn't work for you, but works for others and would work for me if I was willing. So speak for yourself, but please don't try to force your opinion on others. That's not to say a therapist, or some combination might work for someone. To each his own. The point is if it's out of control and messing up your life, you find out what works and do it. For some, that will be 12 step.Exactly what types of problems are people in those groups for? Are they mostly run of the mill mongers like us? I can relate to mongers like me who pursue adult women, but I want nothing to do with true sex offenders who have either been to jail or ought to be in jail.

[John Appleseed]

Any sex parties in LA?

[StephenOh]

I don't consider myself a sex addict because I do not go on the hunt for it. I'm not going broke, I'm not hurting my wife; if I need it or desire it, I work it into my own little budget.

I pay someone to touch me once a month. I want to be caressed, my lips to be sucked on, my neck to be kissed; just to feel her mess my hair up, look into my eyes, smile at me.

I want to feel passion and elation of being the most important person in someone's life, if just for an hour.

I do not get that at home.

I long to be touched and kissed. And therefore, I am willing to pay for it on a monthly basis. I feel it keeps me sane in this too crazy world.

If that's an addiction, then ok. I'm good with it. As long as I'm not putting another human in danger, humiliation, drama.Did you bother to post in this thread?

[TwistedBrother]

Exactly what types of problems are people in those groups for? Are they mostly run of the mill mongers like us? I can relate to mongers like me who pursue adult women, but I want nothing to do with true sex offenders who have either been to jail or ought to be in jail.It can be either or other; it doesn't really matter what the behavior is as it relates to sex. It's that you want to stop and you can't. It could be doing horrible, damaging things to others that could land you a life term, or it could be watching porn on your computer and consensual flirting with co-workers. If you want to control it, or stop it, and you can't, then it's like drinking, drugging, etc. That's somewhat simplistic, but that's the gist of it.

[Member #5605]

It can be either or other; it doesn't really matter what the behavior is as it relates to sex. It's that you want to stop and you can't. It could be doing horrible, damaging things to others that could land you a life term, or it could be watching porn on your computer and consensual flirting with co-workers. If you want to control it, or stop it, and you can't, then it's like drinking, drugging, etc. That's somewhat simplistic, but that's the gist of it.The idea that a person somehow "can't stop" an alleged "compulsive" behavior, or a substance abuse addiction is NONSENSE and MORONIC IDIOCY perpetrated by the advocates of "12 Steppism". The "true believers" of "12 Steppism" believe that someone is allegedly "powerless" over the ingestion of a substance, or engaging in a VOLUNTARY ACTIVITY, like promiscuous sexual behavior. And yet the fact that a person engaging in such activity CAN STOP-for even ONE SECOND-proves that the person CAN STOP! Staying stopped is a different issue, but there is ALWAYS STOPPING! THAT indicates there is SOME level of POWER! The idea of "powerlessness" over what a person WILLINGLY ENGAGES IN is the most moronic thought put into modern psychology. Whether it is over a drug or an activity. There is ALWAYS the choice to CONTINUE, MODERATE, or OUTRIGHT STOP! Each and every time!

[Head First]

Staying stopped is a different issue There is ALWAYS the choice to CONTINUE, MODERATE, or OUTRIGHT STOP! Each and every time!STAYING stopped is the goal. How we achieve that is different for each of us.

When I stopped drinking it was overnight. Same with drugs. Now that I'm diabetic I have to use this same method for staying off of sugar (because there's no way in Hell I can eat just one cookie).

For smoking I used the taper method. Once I was able to get to 1 an hour I then stopped completely.

For this activity, after 27+ years, I've tried to stop but can't even make it to get a 30 day chip. So I've been doing the taper down (over 8 months) and have gone from 2-6 X a week to averaging once every 10-14 days. I've given myself all the time I need to do this and so far so good. A side effect of of not indulging is that's it's getting me to consider getting into a healthy relationship again so that's positive.

Having a very strong 'why' is key to success in this endeavor (and any endeavor) and not wanting to be exposed of this sometimes nasty behavior is working for me.

[Midwt2006]

STAYING stopped is the goal. How we achieve that is different for each of us.

When I stopped drinking it was overnight. Same with drugs. Now that I'm diabetic I have to use this same method for staying off of sugar (because there's no way in Hell I can eat just one cookie).

For smoking I used the taper method. Once I was able to get to 1 an hour I then stopped completely.

For this activity, after 27+ years, I've tried to stop but can't even make it to get a 30 day chip. So I've been doing the taper down (over 8 months) and have gone from 2-6 X a week to averaging once every 10-14 days. I've given myself all the time I need to do this and so far so good. A side effect of of not indulging is that's it's getting me to consider getting into a healthy relationship again so that's positive.

Having a very strong 'why' is key to success in this endeavor (and any endeavor) and not wanting to be exposed of this sometimes nasty behavior is working for me.Head First, all of what you said is of help to me. I've been strip clubbing for almost 7 years, it's been fun throughout the duration. Sure been some "heartbreaks and disappointments", but fun 97% of the time. I can't spend the time traveling and being at the clubs anymore. If I do I'll be busted sooner or later. Frequency for me lately 2-3 x per week. I've tried to say 2 x per month to myself but can't seem to stick to it. Your insight is appreciated.

[Head First]

Head First, all of what you said is of help to me. I've been strip clubbing for almost 7 years, it's been fun throughout the duration. Sure been some "heartbreaks and disappointments", but fun 97% of the time. I can't spend the time traveling and being at the clubs anymore. If I do I'll be busted sooner or later. Frequency for me lately 2-3 x per week. I've tried to say 2 x per month to myself but can't seem to stick to it. Your insight is appreciated.Yeah. I used to do the strip clubs. In my career as a monger it's at about the half way point. Looking back it didn't amount to many happy endings but it did help to transfer lots of my hard earned into the purses of some very pretty girls. Eventually I wised up to their game and settled into ***** houses, Reader, Gentleman pages, BP and CL girls. Now pretty much AMP's.

If you're hitting these places 2-3 X a week and wanting to cut back to 2-3 X a month, that's a good goal. But a hard one. If it's not working out for you, don't give up. Re evaluate and adjust. Maybe shoot for staying away for a week in the beginning. Then 10 days. 2 weeks. Then 3. Try to get to a month. See what happens.

Compare it with training to run a marathon. You don't go out and one day decide you want to run 26.2 miles and the next day do it. You got to prepare and condition. Same here.

What helped me also at one time was taking anti depressants. They zapped the hell out of my libido so in that respect they worked. But at the time I was married so I stopped taking them for fear of my ex straying.

You mentioned that you have fun 97% of the time. So you have to consider replacing whatever amount of fun you're going to give up with a different type of fun. When it comes right down to it I believe a lot of us use this hobby as a reward to ourselves for for something we think we deserve being rewarded for. Find something equally as fun to reward yourself. Go fishing. Or golfing. Maybe a concert. Buy a new car for yourself. Do something you've always wanted too.

This is a tough one to kick. I've gotten down to once a week /10 days, sometimes 2 weeks and I'm okay with that right now. Many people have done it before me and I want to join that group some day. Because if my daughter ever found out what her father does sometimes, I would never be able to look her in the eyes again (and vice versa) without her thinking what a pervert I am.

[Member #5519]

Sex Trafficking Survivor Protects Girls From The 'Hell' She Endured.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sex-trafficking-survivor-protects-girls-from-hell-she-endured_us_59b961f8e4b0edff97188d83

[Xelajo]

Yeah. I used to do the strip clubs. In my career as a monger it's at about the half way point. Looking back it didn't amount to many happy endings but it did help to transfer lots of my hard earned into the purses of some very pretty girls. Eventually I wised up to their game and settled into ***** houses, Reader, Gentleman pages, BP and CL girls. Now pretty much AMP's.

If you're hitting these places 2-3 X a week and wanting to cut back to 2-3 X a month, that's a good goal. But a hard one. If it's not working out for you, don't give up. Re evaluate and adjust. Maybe shoot for staying away for a week in the beginning. Then 10 days. 2 weeks. Then 3. Try to get to a month. See what happens.

Compare it with training to run a marathon. You don't go out and one day decide you want to run 26.2 miles and the next day do it. You got to prepare and condition. Same here.

What helped me also at one time was taking anti depressants. They zapped the hell out of my libido so in that respect they worked. But at the time I was married so I stopped taking them for fear of my ex straying.

You mentioned that you have fun 97% of the time. So you have to consider replacing whatever amount of fun you're going to give up with a different type of fun. When it comes right down to it I believe a lot of us use this hobby as a reward to ourselves for for something we think we deserve being rewarded for. Find something equally as fun to reward yourself. Go fishing. Or golfing. Maybe a concert. Buy a new car for yourself. Do something you've always wanted too.

This is a tough one to kick. I've gotten down to once a week /10 days, sometimes 2 weeks and I'm okay with that right now. Many people have done it before me and I want to join that group some day. Because if my daughter ever found out what her father does sometimes, I would never be able to look her in the eyes again (and vice versa) without her thinking what a pervert I am.Wow. Wow! Really its a great piece of advice. True from every word of it.

Also another approach you could take is to stop abruptly. I mean a complete stop. I did that successfully with my cigarette smoking addiction and my monger addiction. Just stop it. Don't do it and mentally tell yourself, you are never going to do it again. It might help. It's easier said than done, but worth trying.

[Midwt2006]

Wow. Wow! Really its a great piece of advice. True from every word of it.

Also another approach you could take is to stop abruptly. I mean a complete stop. I did that successfully with my cigarette smoking addiction and my monger addiction. Just stop it. Don't do it and mentally tell yourself, you are never going to do it again. It might help. It's easier said than done, but worth trying.I don't think that I could stop anything by going cold turkey. I just don't think it's in me. It's sad but probably true. Good thing I never started smoking cigarettes. I have enough trouble trying to limit my alcohol consumption. Maybe it would be different with clubbing. As HeadFirst said, it would be wise to find a different form of excitement / reward that appeals to me.

[GioDuck55]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

[AOneFred7734]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.9 years ago I saw my first girl on a Friday. And said no more. The next week a saw a different one every day! After 8 mo. I was at 120 different ones. Some more then once.

[TwistedBrother]

Ultimately, you have to be the final judge as to whether it's an addiction or not. It's not a matter of when, if or how much. It's a matter of whether you repeatedly do things you later regret, can't stop when you want to, and there's negative, unwanted effects on other areas of your life. When you say "need it now and can't focus" and "had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense," those sound like behaviors of an addict. Certainly sound like things I've thought and done and led to things I regretted later.


At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

[Head First]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.Yes. It's a warning sign of danger in your future. Here's a couple of reasons why I say that:

1.) You binge. Right now you may not be doing it on a daily or weekly basis because when you do it you do enough of it to last for a while. Then you come back. If you continue, the time in between will become shorter and shorter and one day you'll find yourself doing it 3-7 X a week.

2.) You do it even when you can't afford it. Huge sign that's it's become more than entertainment. If we get to this point we've crossed the proverbial 'line in the sand.'

3.) You do it also when you're seeing someone. No need for any splaining here. But a word of advice. Don't think you're fooling her. Females are experts on picking up on the many clues that we leave behind when we're cheating and eventually they figure it out. If you're married be warned she's going to get 60% of everything. Is it worth it?

4.) You're here asking the questions. To use a play off your own mongering name, GloDuck55, and I don't mean any disrespect here. But if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck. It's probably a duck.

Do you have a problem? Come to your own conclusion but the first step in any successful recovery is admitting you have a problem.

We've all been / are still there. Don't expect any cures here. But we can offer support and free advice.

[MeMonger]

Guys I need some help here. I've met an amazing beautiful sexy lady and she satisfies my every wish problem is I still want to get a BJ when I see a new girl walking. I've had restraint for about a year so far but the desire is sometimes overwhelming. Has anyone been able to beat the addiction? I've been doing this for 30 years now. How do I stop.

[TwistedBrother]

There isn't an easy cure. The rush from trying someone new and different and forbidding is intoxicating and overwhelming. Not surprisingly, what works the best for the most people is a 12-step program. I had some success with it when I was interested and willing to work it, and I've seen others have life-changing success.

For better or worse, there isn't one universal program like Alcoholics Anonymous. Multiple folks started 12-step programs over the years with somewhat different (but similar) definitions of "sobriety. " They include Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and a few others. Some are available in some cities and some aren't, but chances you can get help of some kind nearby.

This is one source of comparison and information. http://www.billherring.com/comparing-different-12-step-meetings-for-sex-addiction

You can Google much more.


Guys I need some help here. I've met an amazing beautiful sexy lady and she satisfies my every wish problem is I still want to get a BJ when I see a new girl walking. I've had restraint for about a year so far but the desire is sometimes overwhelming. Has anyone been able to beat the addiction? I've been doing this for 30 years now. How do I stop.

[Head First]

This is one source of comparison and information. http://www.billherring.com/comparing-different-12-step-meetings-for-sex-addiction

You can Google much more.Good info. Good place to start. Good post.

[NiteWolf]

Fellas,

I have problem. I think I'm hook on this hobby. I know it not the safest hobby. But I find myself trying to go see my local MT, even I now I don't have the money. I use my CC and almost maxed it out. If I don't go for 2-3 days, I get these urges, like I'm going thru withdrawals. I want to control it, but sometimes I can't. The days I don't see my MT, I masturbate 2-3 x a day. I'm looking for any advice to slow myself down, so I want get to far into debt. It all started when my wife left me.

[OlGary]

It may not work for you, or may not have for some folks you know, but I've seen it work for many individuals in multiple cities over the past 25 years. I know folks whose lives were falling apart, whether it's sex, drugs or alcohol, and this is what did it for them (some "sober" for 20 years or more, including two family members for me).

Obviously different things work for different people and you have to find what works for you.Addiction (including sex addiction) involves structural changes in the "reward system" of the brain which are irreversible. Therefore, addiction is an incurable disease in a sense that your brain will never be the same as it used to be before you became addicted. Don't kid yourself into believing that seeing a psychiatrist will solve your addiction problems — presently, there is no any reliable way to treat addiction, pharmacologically or psychotherapeutically. Of course, there are some people with extraordinary willpower capable of sobering up and staying sober for years. But they still have a desease, it didn't go away. They just suppress urges through extreme self-control.

[Admin2]

I got rid of his posts because he's wrong. It's not a matter of opinion, the science is in addiction is a disease. His issue is he's an atheist and hates the idea that some people are finding a spiritual solution to their disease and since he couldn't rationally attack their success he tried to invalidate the idea that addiction is a disease.

I'm not advocating for 12 step programs, I have my story and no shame about it but they aren't for everybody. I also have no issue with atheists, some of the people I know who are 12 step inclined are atheists, doesn't seem to hurt them any. he wasn't any of those, he was just a misinformed blowhard who thought his opinion carried the same weight as scientific fact. There seems to be more and more of those these days.

In any event, best of luck to the OP and I appreciate the compassion that you guys show them and even this misinformed blowhard.

A2

[Admin2]

Of course, there are some people with extraordinary willpower capable of sobering up and staying sober for years. But they still have a desease, it didn't go away. They just suppress urges through extreme self-control.I've been doing it more than three decades and that's not how it works for me hoss. Not busting your chops, your post wasn't douchey so I didn't have anything to say about the rest. Just saying that me willpower, and self-control have never been well acquainted is all.

A2.

[OlGary]

I've been doing it more than three decades and that's not how it works for me hoss. Not busting your chops, your post wasn't douchey so I didn't have anything to say about the rest. Just saying that me willpower, and self-control have never been well acquainted is all.

A2.Well, it could be 12 steps or 144 steps — nothing will work until the person takes back control of his / her life. If you were able to do it for so long, you ARE capable of extreme self-control.

[Admin2]

Well, it could be 12 steps or 144 steps nothing will work until the person takes back control of his / her life. If you were able to do it for so long, you ARE capable of extreme self-control.Did you miss the part where I specifically told you that it isn't about that for me? Just curious, who do you think knows more about my life? You? Or me?

In my case it has nothing to do with will nor self control. I'm not guessing at that, this is not something I think, it's something I know. I'm informing you about that. It's not a discussion, it's not open to your interpretation, it's information I'm giving you. It's like if you told me your name. If you told me your name was Joe and I said "no it's Steve" I would look kind of stupid no? So if I tell you that in my case, in my experience, it's not about self will nor self control and that in fact I am totally lacking those characteristics and you tell me that I am incorrect and that having never met me you know more about me than I do, how do you think that makes you look?

Yeah, just that stupid. Please don't argue with me about this. As with the other guy your opinion doesn't hold the weight of fact. Especially when you are putting your opinion against my experience of my very own life.

A2.

[OlGary]

Did you miss the part where I specifically told you that it isn't about that for me? Just curious, who do you think knows more about my life? You? Or me?

In my case it has nothing to do with will nor self control. I'm not guessing at that, this is not something I think, it's something I know. I'm informing you about that. It's not a discussion, it's not open to your interpretation, it's information I'm giving you. It's like if you told me your name. If you told me your name was Joe and I said "no it's Steve" I would look kind of stupid no? So if I tell you that in my case, in my experience, it's not about self will nor self control and that in fact I am totally lacking those characteristics and you tell me that I am incorrect and that having never met me you know more about me than I do, how do you think that makes you look?

Yeah, just that stupid. Please don't argue with me about this. As with the other guy your opinion doesn't hold the weight of fact. Especially when you are putting your opinion against my experience of my very own life.

A2.Sorry man, I apologize for that.

Cool, this is you being the exact opposite of dumb. Thanks, I appreciate it.

A2

[Member #5605]

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Look man, I'm sorry your mommy or daddy let you down so badly and it turned you into a rage o holic but I'm not going to let you abuse people here.

Maybe you can help me with something though. Why is it you guys who insist on calling people snowflakes are the ones that do the most crying? It's the case every time.

Sorry man, you can't do this anymore. I know you think you have an ownership stake on this forum but you don't and you have been abusing people for years and you're going to have to adjust that it's over.

A2

PS, I'm not censoring you, I'm muzzling you.

[Head First]

I've been doing it more than three decades

A2.High 5 to you. It's rare to hear of someone with so many years. The world is a better place because of this decision you made years ago.

Me too. It hasn't always been easy but it has been worthwhile.

My goal / legacy is to get to 50 years (2031). At that point I feel this one achievement will trump any failure (s) I had in life.

One morning 13 mos ago my younger brother didn't wake up. He died with a bottle in his hand.

Some people get it. Some don't. But For The Grace Of God ... There I Walk.

[Doug Stamper]

My name is Doug, and I am a sex addict.

For several years, I regularly contributed to this forum. That was over 10 years ago. I had well over 100 posts. The majority of them, unlike this one, contained real information intended help others. Then came a day when my membership here caused me tremendous grief in my personal life. I retreated from this site and the hobby for a long time. I thought I could change who I was and what I had been doing. I found new ways to occupy my time, new things to think about. I tried to keep the my secret inner beast at bay. I was successful for awhile. Just when I thought I was out, this thing pulled me back in. Slowly at first, then more and more often I looked here for information which I put to "good" use in my quests. I really should have rejoined the ranks of the posters some time ago. But I felt like doing so would be an acknowledgement that I had completely relapsed. Well, turns out the only person I was fooling was myself. So here I am again.

[MeyghaMann]

My name is Doug, and I am a sex addict.

For several years, I regularly contributed to this forum. That was over 10 years ago. I had well over 100 posts. The majority of them, unlike this one, contained real information intended help others. Then came a day when my membership here caused me tremendous grief in my personal life. I retreated from this site and the hobby for a long time. I thought I could change who I was and what I had been doing. I found new ways to occupy my time, new things to think about. I tried to keep the my secret inner beast at bay. I was successful for awhile. Just when I thought I was out, this thing pulled me back in. Slowly at first, then more and more often I looked here for information which I put to "good" use in my quests. I really should have rejoined the ranks of the posters some time ago. But I felt like doing so would be an acknowledgement that I had completely relapsed. Well, turns out the only person I was fooling was myself. So here I am again.Hope you don't cause tremendous grief in your personal life this time.

[Doug Stamper]

Hope you don't cause tremendous grief in your personal life this time.I hope so too. Trying to limit risk, but what can I do?

I'm an addict.

ADDICT = (Noun.) The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.


My name is Doug, and I am a sex addict.

For several years, I regularly contributed to this forum. That was over 10 years ago. I had well over 100 posts. The majority of them, unlike this one, contained real information intended help others. Then came a day when my membership here caused me tremendous grief in my personal life. I retreated from this site and the hobby for a long time. I thought I could change who I was and what I had been doing. I found new ways to occupy my time, new things to think about. I tried to keep the my secret inner beast at bay. I was successful for awhile. Just when I thought I was out, this thing pulled me back in. Slowly at first, then more and more often I looked here for information which I put to "good" use in my quests. I really should have rejoined the ranks of the posters some time ago. But I felt like doing so would be an acknowledgement that I had completely relapsed. Well, turns out the only person I was fooling was myself. So here I am again.

[TwistedBrother]

I was really trying to cut back (hopefully stop completely) and stay truer to my marriage. At least I wanted to refrain from mongering except while traveling. For a while I was doing better, but I've relapsed considerably in the past 3-4 months, to the point where I've BBFS at a local AMP twice in the past month. And that's just part of it, taking all sorts of my time, money and more. So conflicted as part of me is excited about these new adventures, and part of me dreads losing the quality of my marriage as well as much more.

I want to stop now, but already have plans for tomorrow, then want to stop after that. Crazy, no doubt.

[Glennie]

What do you mean by trauma?

Cessation doesn't cause me severe trauma. I often have to pause the hobby due to family events / trips or work related priorities or because of review sites being down (as they have been recently). But I don't suffer anything that can be described as trauma. I could easily see myself segueing into another hobby. But I continue because I like it. And we only live once.


I hope so too. Trying to limit risk, but what can I do?

I'm an addict.

ADDICT = (Noun.) The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

[Luex7]

I find myself maybe being to much into this time to time where I just have to resist. Since I am in CO, weed seems to help a ton for me LOL if the urge get's to crazy.

One night drank a lot, smoked a lot. I don't think I could even get a stiffy for a few days, was starting to get worried LOL. Once cleared my system fully though, came back all good.

I do think of myself at times, to be 'border line', was bad for a while but I've improved.

Just use to take off randomly in middle of night and try to find a pickup, where I could be looping for hours to find something good.

Couple experiences though, changed that mind set quite fast. Doing it so freely at least.

[Doug Stamper]

What do you mean by trauma?
Cessation doesn't cause me severe trauma. I often have to pause the hobby due to family events / trips or work related priorities or because of review sites being down (as they have been recently). But I don't suffer anything that can be described as trauma. I could easily see myself segueing into another hobby. But I continue because I like it. And we only live once.I quickly pulled that definition off the web. Perhaps trauma is a bit of a stretch. But not much. Ever see an addict that needs a fix? Here are the behavioral characteristics of a drug addict. When you read them, mentally change every mention of the word drugs with SEX. That is how it is with me. You said you could move to another hobby. That is fantastic news for you. I have tried; more times than I can count. I am unable to quit.

Obsessive thoughts and actions:

Acquiring and using the drug become the main priorities of life while all or most other obligations including work, family, or school are sidelined.

Disregard of harm caused:

Although the drug abuse is causing physical and mental distress to the individual and their loved ones, the person struggling with addiction continues using drugs or alcohol.

Loss of control:

Even in the face of wanting to stop or reduce their drug use, the person cannot do so.

Denial of addiction or hiding drug use:

When confronted, the person battling addiction will deny or downplay their drug use. To avoid having to explain themselves to others, the person may do drugs in secret.

[Snake27]

I think we have to be careful to equate sex addiction with drug addiction. Health professionals are reluctant to even acknowledge that the former exists as a separate disorder. It may be wrapped up in other known disorders. These disorders are products of the mind, unlike a physical addiction to a substance like heroin. It seems to me that if it's a product of the mind then there is some hope to control it, the same way you control any behavior. I've read a bit about the mind. It's interesting that there are two halves, which have a fair amount of redundancy. For example, when a part on the left is damaged, it may be rewired through therapy to operate on the right. There are, in effect, two people in your brain and they even have different personalities. One half can talk the other out of doing certain things. I know it works with me, as I have arguments with myself often about what's best to do. There's also an emotional processing center whose job it is to render decisions about complex problems with imperfect or incomplete information input. I'll admit I'm not an expert on any of this stuff, but it's what I've read and good enough for this forum, LOL.

In the last few years I've been immune from all forms of sex addiction except for sugar babies. I certainly don't judge anyone for liking street prostitution or other stuff because I've been there done that. It's just that I've gotten older, the fires are cooler, and I find what's available unappealing. But now a sugar baby, OMG! A pretty young woman who kisses you and admires you and is nice to you -- that is addictive! But expensive. And my main tool to control this addiction has been keeping a careful budget. I recently had a nearly 4 month affair with a SB, which I ended when I realized I was going to have a hard time paying for some expenses that were coming up this summer. I have a family and they tend to take what they know should be available, given my income. My family (mainly my wife) will grant me a "fun budget" but an SB costs about twice my normal fun budget. So I ended the SB / SD relationship and told her the honest explanation why. The SB, who was very sweet, said she understood and I could come back when my situation changes. For now I'm going cold turkey while saving money. Maybe I relapse in September? I don't know.

[USABarry]

I am intrigued by Snake27's observations and I have some questions and comments if you don't mind. Snake is right on with the opening statement "I think we have to be careful to equate sex addiction with drug addiction. " I liken this addiction to sex more in line with an addiction to gambling or even running and sports participation. The emotional high you get from the result of sexual contact can be like winning a wager on a close game or even the adrenaline rush from completing a marathon. You just can't wait to do it again. All of this is a product of the mind with no interactivity with a substance. Placing a wager on a game while in progress and 10 - 20 minutes later the long field goal or one handed catch that covers the wager leads the mind to become euphoric over the outcome. It's much like the same feeling of euphoria maybe a few minutes to an hour or so after orgasm at the hand of a beautiful woman. It can last for days and make you want to return for more. This all happens without the need for a drug of some form to make it so.

When Snake states "there is some hope to control it, the same way you control any behavior. " and "that there are two halves (to the mind)" equating to two people or in reality two personalities that can "talk the other out of doing certain things" it hits the mark with myself. I also have arguments with myself often about what is the best course of action.

What I question is what defines a form of sex addiction? Snake has moved through the available scenarios of sexual contact in his hobbying and has been enjoying a "sugar baby". But I believe that Snakes progress from one sexual encounter to another is because he, like the gambler wagering again and again, wants or needs to return for more. It's all sex addiction no matter how it is satisfied. I am much the same way as I have to have the euphoric feeling fulfilled over and over. I can't help myself but do control the addiction to an extent because my other personality helps with that control. I am addicted to getting that feeling and I used to get it often at home so there was no need to look outside the marriage.

Things changed within the relationship but my need didn't. So I went outside the marriage eventually, became guilty after the first encounter, confessed openly, and to my surprise am allowed to continue. It sounds like, based on Snakes statement that "My family (mainly my wife) will grant me a fun budget", that he also has permission to indulge within reason. Are my summations correct? If so do any of you and your partners have an agreement in order for you to partake in this hobby? If you feel the need to not answer or comment to any of this I understand.

I have been thinking of this addiction and how it applies to me for quite a while. Does it really control me to where I can't function responsibly? I have even gone to the extent to take several online tests to see how addicted I really am. The results advise I get professional counseling for this "Problem". That prompts another question I ask myself. Why would I want to be convinced that I have a problem with something so pleasurable in my life and have somebody try to convince me that I am a bad person and have to change? I see no upside to this. I might have maybe fifteen or so years left of being able to enjoy the feelings I get from sexual satisfaction. So there you have it, I have a addiction to sex. So what? I'm not going to do anything about it but enjoy having sex anyway I can without feeling guilty about it. I admit I'm addicted to sex.

[Admin2]

What I question is what defines a form of sex addiction? If you have a question he has the answer.

https://www.amazon.com/Out-Shadows-Understanding-Sexual-Addiction/dp/1568386214

[Head First]

I have been thinking of this addiction and how it applies to me for quite a while. Does it really control me to where I can't function responsibly? I have even gone to the extent to take several online tests to see how addicted I really am. The results advise I get professional counseling for this "Problem". That prompts another question I ask myself. Why would I want to be convinced that I have a problem with something so pleasurable in my life and have somebody try to convince me that I am a bad person and have to change? I see no upside to this. I might have maybe fifteen or so years left of being able to enjoy the feelings I get from sexual satisfaction. So there you have it, I have a addiction to sex. So what? I'm not going to do anything about it but enjoy having sex anyway I can without feeling guilty about it. I admit I'm addicted to sex.

Hey. You're a sex addict and you admit it but you think you're smarter than the disease and as long as you're not hurting anybody or yourself you're going to do it for as long as you live. You know what? You may very well do exactly that. So go do it.

What's your point in coming here? To be honest, I don't want to hear about people like you that can have their cake and eat it too. In fact I don't like people like you! It's seems not fair to me that you can do this as much and as often as you do and not suffer any consequences but I can't. So if you don't mind would you just go away and not come back to this topic. You don't want help. You just want to brag. Go brag somewhere else.

Buh-bye.

[Atheistically]

So how exactly IS a willingly, knowingly, and VOLUNTARILY engaged in BEHAVIOR, somehow a "disease"? Please explain HOW you "catch it" involuntarily! Pleaser learn to take responsibility for YOUR OWN ACTIONS! No one has a gun to your head. Not even a sex drive. It's time to grow up now!


Hey. You're a sex addict and you admit it but you think you're smarter than the disease and as long as you're not hurting anybody or yourself you're going to do it for as long as you live. You know what? You may very well do exactly that. So go do it.

What's your point in coming here? To be honest, I don't want to hear about people like you that can have their cake and eat it too. In fact I don't like people like you! It's seems not fair to me that you can do this as much and as often as you do and not suffer any consequences but I can't. So if you don't mind would you just go away and not come back to this topic. You don't want help. You just want to brag. Go brag somewhere else.

Buh-bye.

[Admin2]

So how exactly IS a willingly, knowingly, and VOLUNTARILY engaged in BEHAVIOR, somehow a "disease"? Please explain HOW you "catch it" involuntarily! Pleaser learn to take responsibility for YOUR OWN ACTIONS! No one has a gun to your head. Not even a sex drive. It's time to grow up now!The resource I offered was written by the absolute acknowledged leader in the field who holds a PHd in counselor education and has an award named after him for people doing outstanding work in the field of sexual addiction. He says it's a disease.

You on the other hand are some blowhard asshole on the internet who thinks he knows something. Instead what you do is mistake belief for opinion and opinion for fact.

I'm going with what's behind door number 1.

You on the other hand may not post in this thread anymore because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about and are just here to pick a fight.

A2.

Seriously, don't post in here again.

[Atheistically]

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I told you not to do this. You are a special kind of stupid aren't you?

A2

[Forbes]

You are so right 98% of these girls are addicts in one form or another it just is how good or bad they take care of you, nicole is a good girl at what she does, I stick with her she is my go to girl. I will be waiting for the post from W62 in the ripoff section when he gets a real bad one and there is plenty out there. Besides I take lightly with someone that has 2 posts anyway.Any of us involved in these activities are addicts as well.

[Mr Swagg]

After 20+ years of multi-state mongering I've decided to quit while I'm still healthy. I've busted more than a fair share of awesome nuts and had a great time doing it. I've met some great girls who have let me live out every sexual fantasy that I could imagine (At a price LOL). But I'm older now, and I realize that for me buying sex is an addiction for me just as much as drugs are the girls addiction. This game we play is dangerous but we play anyway. I don't know about the rest of you but I have a wife and kids a home and a great job making 200 K / yr. I can't tell you how many times I've been pulled over just by an officer recognizing a girl in my car as we passed or how many times I had to physically remove a violently upset that I didn't want a date girl from my car before the cops came. Most of all I have caught everything except herpes and HIV from these girls and thank god I never passed anything to my wife. The last couple of times including very recently I have caught gonorrhea from BBBJ. I had symptoms and like I always did I went and got tested anonymously thru a website I use. Only the test came back negative but the very mild symptoms persisted and I went to a urgentcare and was diagnosed. I had to take meds and take a shot and the doctor told me there is an untreatable strain going around so thank god I was cured. Who wants gonorrhea forever? Not me! But after my last infection and the fact that I see so many girls that I don't even know who infected me but I do know that I had to infect a couple of my regs and I had to tell them so they could get treatment which wasnt easy. One girl told me that she wasnt upset because "its all part of the game". And that made me think to how much I value my own life. I've thrown my dick on the crap table on many a night whether having BBFS BBBJ or CFS with a BBj finish. I think to all the times a girl told me that it was ok if I didn't use a condom. I'm a lucky mF to be walking around still healthy so I'm quitting before my luck runs out because the way these girls are moving out there i know its just a matter of time b4 i catch HIV. So good luck to you gents. Be smart and stay safe. Don't mean to be preachy just wanted to share a bit of my story.

[DudeNJ]

After 20+ years of multi-state mongering I've decided to quit while I'm still healthy. I've busted more than a fair share of awesome nuts and had a great time doing it. I've met some great girls who have let me live out every sexual fantasy that I could imagine (At a price LOL). But I'm older now, and I realize that for me buying sex is an addiction for me just as much as drugs are the girls addiction. This game we play is dangerous but we play anyway. I don't know about the rest of you but I have a wife and kids a home and a great job making 200 K / yr. I can't tell you how many times I've been pulled over just by an officer recognizing a girl in my car as we passed or how many times I had to physically remove a violently upset that I didn't want a date girl from my car before the cops came. Most of all I have caught everything except herpes and HIV from these girls and thank god I never passed anything to my wife. The last couple of times including very recently I have caught gonorrhea from BBBJ. I had symptoms and like I always did I went and got tested anonymously thru a website I use. Only the test came back negative but the very mild symptoms persisted and I went to a urgentcare and was diagnosed. I had to take meds and take a shot and the doctor told me there is an untreatable strain going around so thank god I was cured. Who wants gonorrhea forever? Not me! But after my last infection and the fact that I see so many girls that I don't even know who infected me but I do know that I had to infect a couple of my regs and I had to tell them so they could get treatment which wasnt easy. One girl told me that she wasnt upset because "its all part of the game". And that made me think to how much I value my own life. I've thrown my dick on the crap table on many a night whether having BBFS BBBJ or CFS with a BBj finish. I think to all the times a girl told me that it was ok if I didn't use a condom. I'm a lucky mF to be walking around still healthy so I'm quitting before my luck runs out because the way these girls are moving out there i know its just a matter of time b4 i catch HIV. So good luck to you gents. Be smart and stay safe. Don't mean to be preachy just wanted to share a bit of my story.Good job, sex addiction is no joke and hope you stay strong, I am extremely careful who I play bare with but it is combination of luck and paranoia that kept me safe so far but this game is dangerous.

[BlueBuff]

After 20+ years of multi-state mongering I've decided to quit while I'm still healthy. I've busted more than a fair share of awesome nuts and had a great time doing it. I've met some great girls who have let me live out every sexual fantasy that I could imagine (At a price LOL). But I'm older now, and I realize that for me buying sex is an addiction for me just as much as drugs are the girls addiction. This game we play is dangerous but we play anyway. I don't know about the rest of you but I have a wife and kids a home and a great job making 200 K / yr. I can't tell you how many times I've been pulled over just by an officer recognizing a girl in my car as we passed or how many times I had to physically remove a violently upset that I didn't want a date girl from my car before the cops came. Most of all I have caught everything except herpes and HIV from these girls and thank god I never passed anything to my wife. The last couple of times including very recently I have caught gonorrhea from BBBJ. I had symptoms and like I always did I went and got tested anonymously thru a website I use. Only the test came back negative but the very mild symptoms persisted and I went to a urgentcare and was diagnosed. I had to take meds and take a shot and the doctor told me there is an untreatable strain going around so thank god I was cured. Who wants gonorrhea forever? Not me! But after my last infection and the fact that I see so many girls that I don't even know who infected me but I do know that I had to infect a couple of my regs and I had to tell them so they could get treatment which wasnt easy. One girl told me that she wasnt upset because "its all part of the game". And that made me think to how much I value my own life. I've thrown my dick on the crap table on many a night whether having BBFS BBBJ or CFS with a BBj finish. I think to all the times a girl told me that it was ok if I didn't use a condom. I'm a lucky mF to be walking around still healthy so I'm quitting before my luck runs out because the way these girls are moving out there i know its just a matter of time b4 i catch HIV. So good luck to you gents. Be smart and stay safe. Don't mean to be preachy just wanted to share a bit of my story.Kudos to you Bro for taking a step in the right direction. I stopped SW business and occationally visit AMP's in passaic which are much safer and clean. Eventually will stop them as well.

[SugarBandit]

Good job, sex addiction is no joke and hope you stay strong, I am extremely careful who I play bare with but it is combination of luck and paranoia that kept me safe so far but this game is dangerous.Its not sex addiction if you go out on your nights off looking for pussy.

About a week ago, I saw a girl I never had before, Samantha. She did a very good job for $20. She said she was out there about a year. A cute 23 year old.

[MrFrench]

Its not sex addiction if you go out on your nights off looking for pussy..Um, yeah, it is if you're doing it regularly.

One of the most recognized symptoms of sexual addiction is repeatedly and regularly going out looking for, and hiring, prostitutes. So, we're *all* probably sex addicts.

[SugarBandit]

Um, yeah, it is if you're doing it regularly.

One of the most recognized symptoms of sexual addiction is repeatedly and regularly going out looking for, and hiring, prostitutes. So, we're *all* probably sex addicts.So guys that go to bars every week and get laid are sex addicts?

After I was with Samantha, I spotted Kat, a really cute one, but she wanted $30 and I now realize they all will come down to $20.

I didn't see Laura and Sandy walked by fast.

[Rahulss]

Hallo, ik ben op zoek naar vrouwen voor sex. Ik ben al lid op verschillende sites zoals https://www.gratissexafspreken.nl. Hebben jullie nog andere tips?

[Head First]

I had another B'Day last week and it reminded me of the promise I made to myself a while ago to stop paying for pussy.

At the height (or is it the lowest) of this addiction I was going 5-7 X a week, every week, for years. I could so I did. Then some things changed but I also recognized that what I was doing was harmful (to me) so I decided to stop it. But I soon realized what a hold it had on me. Many visits with a psychiatrist and a psychologist didn't work and I came to the conclusion that I'd rather be spending this cash on pussy than doctors.

As with my other addictions I learned that tapering works best for me. So I've been doing that and after 2 years it's gotten me to the point of 2-4 visits / rewards a month. I've not gotten this monkey completely off my back but it seems to be working and I consider it progress.

Curbing my Appetite (For Destruction) has allowed me to consider getting into a healthy meaningful relationship again. But the other side of that coin has me fantasizing about buying an AMP. It should be a no-brainer but it's not (yet), so.

[SugarBandit]

I had another B'Day last week and it reminded me of the promise I made to myself a while ago to stop paying for pussy.

At the height (or is it the lowest) of this addiction I was going 5-7 X a week, every week, for years. I could so I did. Then some things changed but I also recognized that what I was doing was harmful (to me) so I decided to stop it. But I soon realized what a hold it had on me. Many visits with a psychiatrist and a psychologist didn't work and I came to the conclusion that I'd rather be spending this cash on pussy than doctors.

As with my other addictions I learned that tapering works best for me. So I've been doing that and after 2 years it's gotten me to the point of 2-4 visits / rewards a month. I've not gotten this monkey completely off my back but it seems to be working and I consider it progress.

Curbing my Appetite (For Destruction) has allowed me to consider getting into a healthy meaningful relationship again. But the other side of that coin has me fantasizing about buying an AMP. It should be a no-brainer but it's not (yet), so.I went 7 days a week for three years, because I could.

I was single.

[Dj Hunter]

I've been a "monger" for a bit over 10 years. There were periods during those years where I was insanely active. Paying for extras at strip clubs, dating escorts on Craigslist and Backpage, making rounds on the street, just going wherever I could get my nut off. At a certain point in that time I decided to propose to the girl I'd been dating on and off for a few years. I thought that'd be the changing moment. I actually fucked who I'd christened as my "last girl" the morning of the day I proposed. What a fucking joke, thinking I could force myself to change just because I was getting engaged. I've been married for six years now, and it's only been in these last two that I began doing the serious digging required to move the quitting needle in any significant way. Prior to that, I'd had a couple STD scares, once mistakenly texted my wife while I was trying to text my escort date (was REALLY shaken by that one), and had other stupid situations that made me temporarily consider quitting but were me simply me succumbing to the guilt. I wasn't genuinely trying to change shit. Hell, as long as I didn't get caught, I was good.

The thought of quitting was always playing silently in the background though. Four years ago, I started dating the girl who gave me my first BBFS experience. I dated her several more times, most times with no cover, and it became the thing I sought out in dates. I got so adept, I could tell from assessing a girl's pics whether or not she'd be likely to let me hit raw, and I was fairly accurate. During that time I had the STD scares (that fortunately turned out to be nothing) and hit a brief phase of deep depression, unbeknownst to my wife. A couple times I just sat in my car and cried before coming home from work. It made me start taking the hard look at myself, though. Who I was, what I thought of myself, and why I was like this. When I started out in this hobby, I'd operated on the idea that man is biologically hardwired to "spread his seed" and that the hobby was was simply a byproduct of man's biological nature. But that was bullshit. While the biology may be a factor to a minimal extent, I've come to believe that sex addiction is deeply rooted in, and borne from, my personal experiences. Honestly, smoking weed really encouraged and enhanced my introspection and even heightened the imaginings of some of the worst things that could happen from this hobby. And I spent several nights over the course of about a year having these scary, dark, and entirely plausible fantasies. Over the course of time, my thoughts gradually shifted to introspection. I realized several things through self assessment: I had low self esteem, I wasn't nurtured much by my mother and sought validation through girls and women to fill the void (since an adolescent), and I'd become so adept at spotting the right escorts because I'd been seeking out escorts who had the lowest self esteem and didn't give as much of a shit about themselves.

Over the last two years, I'd also started focusing seriously on my health. I changed my diet, started running, and going to the gym. It became a natural distraction. I saw my body changing and I felt the best that I'd ever fucking felt. I was motivated and naturally filling the void through simply realizing my potential and worth. The few times that I did partake during this time felt worse than ever. I felt like I was sabotaging myself and my progress. More importantly, I felt like I had no more excuses because I'd been shown all the answers, the reasons why I am this way, and the things that could most certainly happen if I stay active in this hobby. It's gotten to a point that, although I still browse escort sites, I don't have much taste for anything. I don't drive aimlessly along the "stroll". I can finally drive past the strolls most times without feeling an overwhelming need to turn down those streets. It's been almost eight months since I last dated. It might sound cliche but I feel so much better. Through my health journey, I realized how much I've begun to care about myself and how conflicting and threatening the hobby is to that notion. The stress and guilt of the hobby is unhealthy, as is the time and money wasted. Iv'e assessed myself, my marriage, and what I want from life that I know I can get, and the hobby doesn't fit into any of that. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. The challenges still linger and I still have urges. I'll likely always be an addict in that there's always a pit I could potentially fall into. Every day abstained just makes it far less probable. But I'm accomplishing more at this point than I have in years and regained a silly youthful optimism that had been buried under the guilt and shame I'd carried for the past decade.

Brothers, the road is fucking hard. This is an extremely hard thing to beat, and what spurred my change may not be what spurs yours. But I believe that we can all see the other side of this. It took a lot of soul searching to get here and there's more soul searching yet to do. Fundamentally changing yourself takes time, but the journey is way more than worth it. One day at a time.

[Glennie]

That paragraph about low self esteem had my attention for a while. But I don't think mongering can be explained away that easily.

After some pondering it occurred to me that it requires high self esteem to approach and succeed with some of the amazing looking girls that are out there (think SA). I can post my recent resume of pics if needed LOL.

Also, it requires high self esteem to earn enough money to be able to pursue the hobby.

So, I am not sold on this theory, although it has my attention. I wonder what others think.


I've been a "monger" for a bit over 10 years. There were periods during those years where I was insanely active. Paying for extras at strip clubs, dating escorts on Craigslist and Backpage, making rounds on the street, just going wherever I could get my nut off. At a certain point in that time I decided to propose to the girl I'd been dating on and off for a few years. I thought that'd be the changing moment. I actually fucked who I'd christened as my "last girl" the morning of the day I proposed. What a fucking joke, thinking I could force myself to change just because I was getting engaged. I've been married for six years now, and it's only been in these last two that I began doing the serious digging required to move the quitting needle in any significant way. Prior to that, I'd had a couple STD scares, once mistakenly texted my wife while I was trying to text my escort date (was REALLY shaken by that one), and had other stupid situations that made me temporarily consider quitting but were me simply me succumbing to the guilt. I wasn't genuinely trying to change shit. Hell, as long as I didn't get caught, I was good.

The thought of quitting was always playing silently in the background though. Four years ago, I started dating the girl who gave me my first BBFS experience. I dated her several more times, most times with no cover, and it became the thing I sought out in dates. I got so adept, I could tell from assessing a girl's pics whether or not she'd be likely to let me hit raw, and I was fairly accurate. During that time I had the STD scares (that fortunately turned out to be nothing) and hit a brief phase of deep depression, unbeknownst to my wife. A couple times I just sat in my car and cried before coming home from work. It made me start taking the hard look at myself, though. Who I was, what I thought of myself, and why I was like this. When I started out in this hobby, I'd operated on the idea that man is biologically hardwired to "spread his seed" and that the hobby was was simply a byproduct of man's biological nature. But that was bullshit. While the biology may be a factor to a minimal extent, I've come to believe that sex addiction is deeply rooted in, and borne from, my personal experiences. Honestly, smoking weed really encouraged and enhanced my introspection and even heightened the imaginings of some of the worst things that could happen from this hobby. And I spent several nights over the course of about a year having these scary, dark, and entirely plausible fantasies. Over the course of time, my thoughts gradually shifted to introspection. I realized several things through self assessment: I had low self esteem, I wasn't nurtured much by my mother and sought validation through girls and women to fill the void (since an adolescent), and I'd become so adept at spotting the right escorts because I'd been seeking out escorts who had the lowest self esteem and didn't give as much of a shit about themselves.

Over the last two years, I'd also started focusing seriously on my health. I changed my diet, started running, and going to the gym. It became a natural distraction. I saw my body changing and I felt the best that I'd ever fucking felt. I was motivated and naturally filling the void through simply realizing my potential and worth. The few times that I did partake during this time felt worse than ever. I felt like I was sabotaging myself and my progress. More importantly, I felt like I had no more excuses because I'd been shown all the answers, the reasons why I am this way, and the things that could most certainly happen if I stay active in this hobby. It's gotten to a point that, although I still browse escort sites, I don't have much taste for anything. I don't drive aimlessly along the "stroll". I can finally drive past the strolls most times without feeling an overwhelming need to turn down those streets. It's been almost eight months since I last dated. It might sound cliche but I feel so much better. Through my health journey, I realized how much I've begun to care about myself and how conflicting and threatening the hobby is to that notion. The stress and guilt of the hobby is unhealthy, as is the time and money wasted. Iv'e assessed myself, my marriage, and what I want from life that I know I can get, and the hobby doesn't fit into any of that. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. The challenges still linger and I still have urges. I'll likely always be an addict in that there's always a pit I could potentially fall into. Every day abstained just makes it far less probable. But I'm accomplishing more at this point than I have in years and regained a silly youthful optimism that had been buried under the guilt and shame I'd carried for the past decade.

Brothers, the road is fucking hard. This is an extremely hard thing to beat, and what spurred my change may not be what spurs yours. But I believe that we can all see the other side of this. It took a lot of soul searching to get here and there's more soul searching yet to do. Fundamentally changing yourself takes time, but the journey is way more than worth it. One day at a time.

[Dj Hunter]

That paragraph about low self esteem had my attention for a while. But I don't think mongering can be explained away that easily.

After some pondering it occurred to me that it requires high self esteem to approach and succeed with some of the amazing looking girls that are out there (think SA). I can post my recent resume of pics if needed LOL.

Also, it requires high self esteem to earn enough money to be able to pursue the hobby.

So, I am not sold on this theory, although it has my attention. I wonder what others think.Everyone who examines themselves and / or their relationships will determine their own reasons for doing this. Everyone's reasons and root causes aren't the same, I agree.

[JonWan]

I've been a "monger" for a bit over 10 years....

I'll likely always be an addict in that there's always a pit I could potentially fall into. Every day abstained just makes it far less probable. But I'm accomplishing more at this point than I have in years and regained a silly youthful optimism that had been buried under the guilt and shame I'd carried for the past decade.

Brothers, the road is fucking hard. This is an extremely hard thing to beat, and what spurred my change may not be what spurs yours. But I believe that we can all see the other side of this. It took a lot of soul searching to get here and there's more soul searching yet to do. Fundamentally changing yourself takes time, but the journey is way more than worth it. One day at a time.Congrats on making a change before your addiction destroyed your marriage.

Congrats on improving your self esteem and getting more control over your compulsion.

Causes of addiction tend to be related to (1) genes and (2) environment. Genes play a role, and most addicts have an addictive personality. Addicts tend to have a lot of passion, and they tend to love the feeling that they get from a dopamine release. Sexual release also produces other hormonal and neurochemical changes, and these changes can also be addictive. Environment also plays a role. If you had a lot of partners when you were single, you may bring your addiction into your marriage. Effective social support (I. E. , a good emotional environment) can lessen the likelihood of addiction even for those who are at high risk genetically. So, bad genes and a bad environment can contribute to addiction.

As you stated, addiction can be tied to self esteem. Compulsive behaviors can mask insecurities, and addiction can certainly lower one's self esteem. A person with low self-esteem may have trouble overcoming insecurities, negative thoughts and feelings and therefore turn to outside experiences or activities to change those negative thoughts into positive ones. Also, as you stated, improving one's self esteem can help with treatment of addiction. Also, one needs to treat depression, anxiety or other mood disorders, since these can also contribute to addiction. Getting control over addiction requires attending to one's emotional health.

Congrats again.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

That paragraph about low self esteem had my attention for a while. But I don't think mongering can be explained away that easily.

After some pondering it occurred to me that it requires high self esteem to approach and succeed with some of the amazing looking girls that are out there (think SA). I can post my recent resume of pics if needed LOL.

Also, it requires high self esteem to earn enough money to be able to pursue the hobby.

So, I am not sold on this theory, although it has my attention. I wonder what others think.Self esteem might have something to do with it in some cases. In others, not so much. My case is a mixed bag. I'm a sex addict, I admit it. In the last couple years, though, the hobby is the only place I've been getting any action. I'm married, but that part of the marriage is just over. After years of trying to keep it going at home, I just finally hit a point where I didn't care any more. But part of the reason I say I'm a sex addict is I was in the hobby before the love life at home completely went away.

In theory, I could find a side piece from every day life. I came close to bagging one once last year. Otherwise, nada. For the time and trouble I would spend trying to find a side piece in every day life, it's just easier to occasionally indulge in the hobby, where I get access to women I'd be very, very unlikely to ever bang in real life. I've gotten to where I can limit myself to seeing providers once, maybe twice a month depending on the monger budget. I can't afford any more often than that at this point.

So to put all this another way, I indulge in the hobby for both practical reasons (such as hating being celibate) and for psychological reasons, as there is a compulsive aspect where I'm trying to fill a psychological need I just can't ever seem to fill.

[Head First]

My son is on maintenance (Thank God for this program!) for opioid addiction. In October the clinic lost 3 patients to the street. Fentanyl.

Last week (Thanksgiving week) the mother to one of the girls that was lost was handing this out to any that was brave enough to make eye contact with her as she stood in the lobby, alone, visibly broken.

Granted this forum is specifically for sex addiction but IMHO it fits to post it. Be warned it may touch a nerve.

Take a minute.

[Sarcastic King]

Found this thread when looking at the SA archives. Thanks the JZ Lizard for posting the link.

The struggle is real and I appreciate everyone one this thread for their honesty and thoughts.

There are a ton of seniors on here with huge post counts. What got me are the members with 50-60 posts asking for help on how to stop. We got no answers for them.

I stopped for a few years too fellas. It's possible but I wasn't able to quit. After the relapse, it has been harder to quit even for a two days.

I got no answers on how to stop so all I have is appreciation for those that shared.

Maybe as a group we can figure this out. I suspect there are some smart guys here. Or at least smart enough to be well compensated. This ain't a cheap hobby if you're an addict. Thanks.

[SugarBandit]

Found this thread when looking at the SA archives. Thanks the JZ Lizard for posting the link.

The struggle is real and I appreciate everyone one this thread for their honesty and thoughts.

There are a ton of seniors on here with huge post counts. What got me are the members with 50-60 posts asking for help on how to stop. We got no answers for them.

I stopped for a few years too fellas. It's possible but I wasn't able to quit. After the relapse, it has been harder to quit even for a two days.

I got no answers on how to stop so all I have is appreciation for those that shared.

Maybe as a group we can figure this out. I suspect there are some smart guys here. Or at least smart enough to be well compensated. This ain't a cheap hobby if you're an addict. Thanks.I do it because I have the cash to do it. If you stop, what do you plan on doing with the money?

[JonWan]

There are a ton of seniors on here with huge post counts. What got me are the members with 50-60 posts asking for help on how to stop. We got no answers for them.

I got no answers on how to stop so all I have is appreciation for those that shared.

Maybe as a group we can figure this out.If you want to stop, I can recommend:

Sex Addicts Anonymous: https://saa-recovery.org/.

SMART recovery: https://www.smartrecovery.org/intro/.

You forgot one Sex and Love Addicts Anon https://slaafws.org/

A2

[Rrayr]

I was really trying to cut back (hopefully stop completely) and stay truer to my marriage. At least I wanted to refrain from mongering except while traveling. For a while I was doing better, but I've relapsed considerably in the past 3-4 months, to the point where I've BBFS at a local AMP twice in the past month. And that's just part of it, taking all sorts of my time, money and more. So conflicted as part of me is excited about these new adventures, and part of me dreads losing the quality of my marriage as well as much more.

I want to stop now, but already have plans for tomorrow, then want to stop after that. Crazy, no doubt.I hear ya brother. After I got a great live in GF, feeling guilty like a POS. I said I'd stop. Telling myself "okay, after this one last time and I'll stop". Only to relapse after a payday. I have slowed down considerably, but only because of a change in my financial status. I've blocked 99% of the girls on my iPhone. Deleted my SA account and SB accounts. Gave away my dick pills. But it's still hard to legitimately quit. One step at a time.

One step at a time.

[Rrayr]

I was really trying to cut back (hopefully stop completely) and stay truer to my marriage. At least I wanted to refrain from mongering except while traveling. For a while I was doing better, but I've relapsed considerably in the past 3-4 months, to the point where I've BBFS at a local AMP twice in the past month. And that's just part of it, taking all sorts of my time, money and more. So conflicted as part of me is excited about these new adventures, and part of me dreads losing the quality of my marriage as well as much more.

I want to stop now, but already have plans for tomorrow, then want to stop after that. Crazy, no doubt.


Found this thread when looking at the SA archives. Thanks the JZ Lizard for posting the link.

The struggle is real and I appreciate everyone one this thread for their honesty and thoughts.

There are a ton of seniors on here with huge post counts. What got me are the members with 50-60 posts asking for help on how to stop. We got no answers for them.

I stopped for a few years too fellas. It's possible but I wasn't able to quit. After the relapse, it has been harder to quit even for a two days.

I got no answers on how to stop so all I have is appreciation for those that shared.

Maybe as a group we can figure this out. I suspect there are some smart guys here. Or at least smart enough to be well compensated. This ain't a cheap hobby if you're an addict. Thanks.I don't even want to know how much $$ I through at this hobby in the last 4 years. It's depressing.

[Rrayr]

As Men, why is having sex with exciting young beautiful women important in our lives?

Why do we equate having sex with a beautiful young woman as a "rare quality experience"? If I had stayed the straight and narrow with only a handful of lovers in my life, I would have never dreamed of having dates with fine beautiful quality women. And of course not so great. That experience is important to me. And doing it over and over and over again became habitual.

Trying to justify and weigh the pros and cons like any good addictive behavior person would. But I feel Drugs vs Sex are different.

Because doctors tell us that there IS a safe healthy sexual lifestyle.

There is no such thing as a safe healthy narcotic lifestyle.

Pros.

Makes me feel good.
Sex when ever I want.
Fulfilling fantasies.
Get to experience many different types of girls.
Collect fond memories and experiences for when I'm very old.
Adrenaline rush.
Potential genuine friendship.
Hear and collect many personal stories.

Cons.

Financial ruin.
Exploitation of the vulnerable.
Ruined marriage and family relationships.
Social Stigma.
Arrest.
Diseases.
Being robbed.
Potential Injury or Death.
Blackmail.

[Head First]

I've been a "monger" for a bit over 10 years. There were periods during those years where I was insanely active. Paying for extras at strip clubs, dating escorts on Craigslist and Backpage, making rounds on the street, just going wherever I could get my nut off. At a certain point in that time I decided to propose to the girl I'd been dating on and off for a few years. I thought that'd be the changing moment. I actually fucked who I'd christened as my "last girl" the morning of the day I proposed. What a fucking joke, thinking I could force myself to change just because I was getting engaged. I've been married for six years now, and it's only been in these last two that I began doing the serious digging required to move the quitting needle in any significant way. Prior to that, I'd had a couple STD scares, once mistakenly texted my wife while I was trying to text my escort date (was REALLY shaken by that one), and had other stupid situations that made me temporarily consider quitting but were me simply me succumbing to the guilt. I wasn't genuinely trying to change shit. Hell, as long as I didn't get caught, I was good.

The thought of quitting was always playing silently in the background though. Four years ago, I started dating the girl who gave me my first BBFS experience. I dated her several more times, most times with no cover, and it became the thing I sought out in dates. I got so adept, I could tell from assessing a girl's pics whether or not she'd be likely to let me hit raw, and I was fairly accurate. During that time I had the STD scares (that fortunately turned out to be nothing) and hit a brief phase of deep depression, unbeknownst to my wife. A couple times I just sat in my car and cried before coming home from work. It made me start taking the hard look at myself, though. Who I was, what I thought of myself, and why I was like this. When I started out in this hobby, I'd operated on the idea that man is biologically hardwired to "spread his seed" and that the hobby was was simply a byproduct of man's biological nature. But that was bullshit. While the biology may be a factor to a minimal extent, I've come to believe that sex addiction is deeply rooted in, and borne from, my personal experiences. Honestly, smoking weed really encouraged and enhanced my introspection and even heightened the imaginings of some of the worst things that could happen from this hobby. And I spent several nights over the course of about a year having these scary, dark, and entirely plausible fantasies. Over the course of time, my thoughts gradually shifted to introspection. I realized several things through self assessment: I had low self esteem, I wasn't nurtured much by my mother and sought validation through girls and women to fill the void (since an adolescent), and I'd become so adept at spotting the right escorts because I'd been seeking out escorts who had the lowest self esteem and didn't give as much of a shit about themselves.

Over the last two years, I'd also started focusing seriously on my health. I changed my diet, started running, and going to the gym. It became a natural distraction. I saw my body changing and I felt the best that I'd ever fucking felt. I was motivated and naturally filling the void through simply realizing my potential and worth. The few times that I did partake during this time felt worse than ever. I felt like I was sabotaging myself and my progress. More importantly, I felt like I had no more excuses because I'd been shown all the answers, the reasons why I am this way, and the things that could most certainly happen if I stay active in this hobby. It's gotten to a point that, although I still browse escort sites, I don't have much taste for anything. I don't drive aimlessly along the "stroll". I can finally drive past the strolls most times without feeling an overwhelming need to turn down those streets. It's been almost eight months since I last dated. It might sound cliche but I feel so much better. Through my health journey, I realized how much I've begun to care about myself and how conflicting and threatening the hobby is to that notion. The stress and guilt of the hobby is unhealthy, as is the time and money wasted. Iv'e assessed myself, my marriage, and what I want from life that I know I can get, and the hobby doesn't fit into any of that. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. The challenges still linger and I still have urges. I'll likely always be an addict in that there's always a pit I could potentially fall into. Every day abstained just makes it far less probable. But I'm accomplishing more at this point than I have in years and regained a silly youthful optimism that had been buried under the guilt and shame I'd carried for the past decade.

Brothers, the road is fucking hard. This is an extremely hard thing to beat, and what spurred my change may not be what spurs yours. But I believe that we can all see the other side of this. It took a lot of soul searching to get here and there's more soul searching yet to do. Fundamentally changing yourself takes time, but the journey is way more than worth it. One day at a time.I liked reading this post as well as most of the posts here. It indicates to me that you're tuned into a good frequency and you're hearing and listening to the recovery voice you and all of us have inside. Many nuggets of wisdom here.

[Timonelama]

I am a sex addict and I have known this for a 10 years now.

But I use escort services and that requires money. Time is money. If I use escort, it takes about 30 mins to find her and go to her place, then 1 hour with her and 30 minutes back. That is a total of 2 hours. But if I am going to the bar and pick up girls, it will take tons of money and time. So I think it is better to be sex addict and use escorts. Especially if you read Las Vegas hooking-up article; https://hookuptravels.com/wiki/Las_Vegas.

You will then realise it takes much less time to hire an escort than hook-up with a local "good" girl.

[TwistedBrother]

Great post and much appreciation. I don't know if you've considered the 12 step programs that have been posted, but I hope you consider them. It's easier if you're not doing it alone.

Still struggling, though not as much lately.


I've been a "monger" for a bit over 10 years. There were periods during those years where I was insanely active. Paying for extras at strip clubs, dating escorts on Craigslist and Backpage, making rounds on the street, just going wherever I could get my nut off. At a certain point in that time I decided to propose to the girl I'd been dating on and off for a few years. I thought that'd be the changing moment. I actually fucked who I'd christened as my "last girl" the morning of the day I proposed. What a fucking joke, thinking I could force myself to change just because I was getting engaged. I've been married for six years now, and it's only been in these last two that I began doing the serious digging required to move the quitting needle in any significant way. Prior to that, I'd had a couple STD scares, once mistakenly texted my wife while I was trying to text my escort date (was REALLY shaken by that one), and had other stupid situations that made me temporarily consider quitting but were me simply me succumbing to the guilt. I wasn't genuinely trying to change shit. Hell, as long as I didn't get caught, I was good.

The thought of quitting was always playing silently in the background though. Four years ago, I started dating the girl who gave me my first BBFS experience. I dated her several more times, most times with no cover, and it became the thing I sought out in dates. I got so adept, I could tell from assessing a girl's pics whether or not she'd be likely to let me hit raw, and I was fairly accurate. During that time I had the STD scares (that fortunately turned out to be nothing) and hit a brief phase of deep depression, unbeknownst to my wife. A couple times I just sat in my car and cried before coming home from work. It made me start taking the hard look at myself, though. Who I was, what I thought of myself, and why I was like this. When I started out in this hobby, I'd operated on the idea that man is biologically hardwired to "spread his seed" and that the hobby was was simply a byproduct of man's biological nature. But that was bullshit. While the biology may be a factor to a minimal extent, I've come to believe that sex addiction is deeply rooted in, and borne from, my personal experiences. Honestly, smoking weed really encouraged and enhanced my introspection and even heightened the imaginings of some of the worst things that could happen from this hobby. And I spent several nights over the course of about a year having these scary, dark, and entirely plausible fantasies. Over the course of time, my thoughts gradually shifted to introspection. I realized several things through self assessment: I had low self esteem, I wasn't nurtured much by my mother and sought validation through girls and women to fill the void (since an adolescent), and I'd become so adept at spotting the right escorts because I'd been seeking out escorts who had the lowest self esteem and didn't give as much of a shit about themselves.

Over the last two years, I'd also started focusing seriously on my health. I changed my diet, started running, and going to the gym. It became a natural distraction. I saw my body changing and I felt the best that I'd ever fucking felt. I was motivated and naturally filling the void through simply realizing my potential and worth. The few times that I did partake during this time felt worse than ever. I felt like I was sabotaging myself and my progress. More importantly, I felt like I had no more excuses because I'd been shown all the answers, the reasons why I am this way, and the things that could most certainly happen if I stay active in this hobby. It's gotten to a point that, although I still browse escort sites, I don't have much taste for anything. I don't drive aimlessly along the "stroll". I can finally drive past the strolls most times without feeling an overwhelming need to turn down those streets. It's been almost eight months since I last dated. It might sound cliche but I feel so much better. Through my health journey, I realized how much I've begun to care about myself and how conflicting and threatening the hobby is to that notion. The stress and guilt of the hobby is unhealthy, as is the time and money wasted. Iv'e assessed myself, my marriage, and what I want from life that I know I can get, and the hobby doesn't fit into any of that. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. The challenges still linger and I still have urges. I'll likely always be an addict in that there's always a pit I could potentially fall into. Every day abstained just makes it far less probable. But I'm accomplishing more at this point than I have in years and regained a silly youthful optimism that had been buried under the guilt and shame I'd carried for the past decade.

Brothers, the road is fucking hard. This is an extremely hard thing to beat, and what spurred my change may not be what spurs yours. But I believe that we can all see the other side of this. It took a lot of soul searching to get here and there's more soul searching yet to do. Fundamentally changing yourself takes time, but the journey is way more than worth it. One day at a time.

[Timonelama]

Just been 2 weeks in the sex addiction thereapy. 4 times a week x 1 hour. Feel a lot better. The whole intense process takes like 6 months.

[PartyTimeGuy]

As Men, why is having sex with exciting young beautiful women important in our lives? Testosterone is a powerful hormone. The average male has a sexual thought every few minutes. We are the product of billions of years of evolution that has finely honed our sex drive. It is the reason our species survived to be here in the first place The question is not why some of us are sexually addicted but why aren't ALL of us sexually addicted?.


Why do we equate having sex with a beautiful young woman as a "rare quality experience"? If I had stayed the straight and narrow with only a handful of lovers in my life, I would have never dreamed of having dates with fine beautiful quality women. And of course not so great. That experience is important to me. And doing it over and over and over again became habitual.Even the most beautiful young woman can become tedious with repetition. If I could find a woman who could make me feel different every time then I probably would never stray. But such a fantasy woman does not exist. For me, sexual addiction is the continual search for new conquests and sexual variety.


Trying to justify and weigh the pros and cons like any good addictive behavior person would. But I feel Drugs vs Sex are different.

Because doctors tell us that there IS a safe healthy sexual lifestyle.

There is no such thing as a safe healthy narcotic lifestyle.Quite true. At least sex doesn't cause negative physical effects like alcohol or drug abuse. And who is to say that a "healthy sexual lifestyle" isn't nailing as many pretty young things as one can?


Pros.

Makes me feel good.
Sex when ever I want.
Fulfilling fantasies.
Get to experience many different types of girls.
Collect fond memories and experiences for when I'm very old.
Adrenaline rush.
Potential genuine friendship.
Hear and collect many personal stories.All very valid points. Definitely reasons I enjoy fucking a wide variety of young women.


Cons.

Financial ruin.Fortunately for me, I have plenty of funds. It isn't likely I will run out.


Exploitation of the vulnerable.

I don't see the truth in this one. It is a financial transaction for both sides. Thinking you are exploiting a woman you hire for sex would mean you would feel the same way hiring her to mow your lawn. She wants money. You have money. She is willing to do something you want for that money. It is a classic example of market dynamics, supply and demand.


Ruined marriage and family relationships.

This is a big one and would have been true when I was married or had a serious gf. Now I have no SO so this one doesn't even apply.


Social Stigma.

I am so past this. Americans are too uptight about sex and so hypocritical. To avoid drama I keep my sexual trysts private (except anonymously revealed in this forum). But I laugh at the possibility that there is a social morality here that bears serious consideration.


Arrest.

I may be sexually addicted but I am careful. I have never been arrested for anything, let alone paying for sex. And since I almost exclusively play with SBs I recruit in the wild, the probability of arrest is not zero but it is quite low.


Diseases.Always a possibility. I have had 3 STDs in my entire lifetime of hundreds of paid for sexual encounters. All were from uncovered oral with SWs. I never ever fuck uncovered even if the girl is on birth control. So disease risk is there, but no more than anyone who is very active sexually.


Being robbed.Again, I am very careful and never carry any more cash than I need for the transaction. Not that this ever has applied because I never have been robbed in hundreds of transactions with SWs, escorts or UTRs. Now that I virtually exclusively play with SBs I have personally recruited in the wild, my robbery risk is even lower.


Potential Injury or Death.Same reaction as the robbery risk. I just don't see this as an important factor in the way I have chosen to play.


Blackmail.Two have tried. But they didn't even know who I was. I use burner phones and rented cars. Blackmail is not impossible but highly improbable. Besides, I have many successful strategies to combat this if it ever occurred.

Maybe there is something I am missing, but it seems to me that my sexual addiction to banging pretty college-aged women and the occasional horny MILF actually IS a very healthy sexual lifestyle.

[Snake27]

Here's a short essay I wrote for an SB I dated. She was impressed, although in the meantime she's decided she doesn't like me.

The difference between men and women can be understood using an energy model. The energy required for reproduction is different. Women have a 9 month gestation period, which is a major investment in energy, while men in principle only need to have sex to contribute to making a baby, which is a small investment in energy. Women also tend to do more of the child-rearing, another big energy investment.

Here is where morality steps in, however. Morality is the resolution of a conflict of desires; the women desire that the men invest a similar amount of energy through long-term commitment to child rearing to help produce a well-developed offspring. Society supports this moral precept and teaches the males from an early age to respect women and to commit to a relationship.

Many men will attempt to adopt a two-prong approach to reproduction: to have a wife and family, while secretly pursuing short affairs outside of marriage. The women, because of the energy required, are more circumspect about their choices, which thwarts the efforts of most men. However, some women will exploit a man's relative promiscuity to profit economically -- what sugarbabies (prostitutes) do.

[PartyTimeGuy]

Here's a short essay I wrote for an SB I dated. She was impressed, although in the meantime she's decided she doesn't like me.

The difference between men and women can be understood using an energy model. The energy required for reproduction is different. Women have a 9 month gestation period, which is a major investment in energy, while men in principle only need to have sex to contribute to making a baby, which is a small investment in energy. Women also tend to do more of the child-rearing, another big energy investment.

Here is where morality steps in, however. Morality is the resolution of a conflict of desires; the women desire that the men invest a similar amount of energy through long-term commitment to child rearing to help produce a well-developed offspring. Society supports this moral precept and teaches the males from an early age to respect women and to commit to a relationship.

Many men will attempt to adopt a two-prong approach to reproduction: to have a wife and family, while secretly pursuing short affairs outside of marriage. The women, because of the energy required, are more circumspect about their choices, which thwarts the efforts of most men. However, some women will exploit a man's relative promiscuity to profit economically -- what sugarbabies (prostitutes) do.Your musings are interesting but research does not back it up. In fact, women are just as likely to be promiscuous as men, contrary to widely held popular beliefs to the contrary. This is true not only in our culture but in cultures throughout the world. I could cite numerous studies affirming this, and here is but one example: ttps://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/are-men-really-the-more-promiscuous-sex-0704135 Search the subject on the internet. The conclusions of many studies are similar.

In my own personal experience I have found that many young women are interested in a SB role simply when asked the right way. I have recruited literally hundreds of them "in the wild" so to speak. Women are just as likely as men to be sexually bored with a monogamous relationship and/or seek sexual experiences with strangers. They tend not to be as overt about it as men, but the desire for promiscuity and action upon it are no less than for men.

[Snake27]

I think that part of the "proof" that men tend to be more promiscuous comes from studying homosexuals. Now explaining homosexuality needs a lot more complicated model than what I stated (I've tried) and would probably get me banned anyway, but there is a residual of regular sexuality in homosexuality, and the observation is simply that male homosexuals play around a lot more than female ones.

I'm not going to debate you that a lot of females are promiscuous and I will defer to your personal experience with women which, based on my reading of your posts (which I enjoy) greatly exceeds mine.

One other issue is that, if I remember the blood studies correctly, around 10% of females (more likely from lower socioeconomic classes) have children whose father is not the husband. Some men make better fathers than husbands. Clearly, some women are playing around. LOL. And the scientists who discovered this were very surprised. But then again, scientists don't get laid much, so of course they would be surprised. LOL. And don't ask me to quote references for the aforementioned studies. This is the internet.


Your musings are interesting but research does not back it up. In fact, women are just as likely to be promiscuous as men, contrary to widely held popular beliefs to the contrary. This is true not only in our culture but in cultures throughout the world. I could cite numerous studies affirming this, and here is but one example: ttps://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/are-men-really-the-more-promiscuous-sex-0704135 Search the subject on the internet. The conclusions of many studies are similar.

In my own personal experience I have found that many young women are interested in a SB role simply when asked the right way. I have recruited literally hundreds of them "in the wild" so to speak. Women are just as likely as men to be sexually bored with a monogamous relationship and/or seek sexual experiences with strangers. They tend not to be as overt about it as men, but the desire for promiscuity and action upon it are no less than for men.

[Spacey]

Don't mind me. Posting to keep track of the thread.

[PartyTimeGuy]

I am a sex addict and I have known this for a 10 years now.Looking back on it, I have been sex addicted since I was conscious. I was playing doctor with the little girls in the neighborhood and kissing and fondling them well before adolescence and after puberty I was unstoppable.


But I use escort services and that requires money. Time is money. If I use escort, it takes about 30 mins to find her and go to her place, then 1 hour with her and 30 minutes back. That is a total of 2 hours. But if I am going to the bar and pick up girls, it will take tons of money and time. So I think it is better to be sex addict and use escorts. Especially if you read Las Vegas hooking-up article; https://hookuptravels.com/wiki/Las_Vegas.I banged everything in sight for free through my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's. Since then I have had hundreds of SWs, UTRs, escorts, AMPs and my current preference: SBs. I have no SO, plenty of funds and plenty of spare time, so I don't see the downside of sexual addiction for me.


You will then realise it takes much less time to hire an escort than hook-up with a local "good" girl.I hook up with local "good girls" all the time. I have a rotation of over a dozen sweet, pretty, college-aged SBs that I bang regularly. If time and money are not an issue, and you have the game to hire amateur young cuties, I don't see where sexual addiction is so much a problem as a very intense and satisfying hobby.

[PartyTimeGuy]

I think that part of the "proof" that men tend to be more promiscuous comes from studying homosexuals. Now explaining homosexuality needs a lot more complicated model than what I stated (I've tried) and would probably get me banned anyway, but there is a residual of regular sexuality in homosexuality, and the observation is simply that male homosexuals play around a lot more than female ones.I don't know that any "observations" would hold up to universally explain any sexual behavior. Personal observations by their very nature are biased, and skewed to the experiences of one individual. The Kinsey studies showed and other studies since have shown that what we think we know about sexual behavior isn't always what is truly the case.


I'm not going to debate you that a lot of females are promiscuous and I will defer to your personal experience with women which, based on my reading of your posts (which I enjoy) greatly exceeds mine.Scientific studies back this up, but I can certainly personally vouch that females are very promiscuous.


One other issue is that, if I remember the blood studies correctly, around 10% of females (more likely from lower socioeconomic classes) have children whose father is not the husband. Some men make better fathers than husbands. Clearly, some women are playing around. LOL. And the scientists who discovered this were very surprised. But then again, scientists don't get laid much, so of course they would be surprised. LOL. And don't ask me to quote references for the aforementioned studies. This is the internet.Studies show that women play around as much as men. In this sexually repressed society we just don't like to think that is the case.

[Head First]

Looking back on it, I have been sex addicted since I was conscious. I was playing doctor with the little girls in the neighborhood and kissing and fondling them well before adolescence and after puberty I was unstoppable.

I banged everything in sight for free through my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's. Since then I have had hundreds of SWs, UTRs, escorts, AMPs and my current preference: SBs. I have no SO, plenty of funds and plenty of spare time, so I don't see the downside of sexual addiction for me.

I hook up with local "good girls" all the time. I have a rotation of over a dozen sweet, pretty, college-aged SBs that I bang regularly. If time and money are not an issue, and you have the game to hire amateur young cuties, I don't see where sexual addiction is so much a problem as a very intense and satisfying hobby.Sounds good. You're living the good life. Good for you. If I / we were you we wouldn't want to change either. Or would we?

Because many of us here have been there done that. Things change.

Why are you posting here? This section is for addicts that 'want' help for our addiction.

When / If that time comes for you, come back for a visit.

In the meantime here's an FYI. Your reports are loaded with triggers that may cause someone in recovery to have a slip. You wouldn't walk into an A. A. Meeting and boast about how you're drinking and partying like there's no tomorrow, asking "Who wants a free drink?" would you? Same thing here.

[PartyTimeGuy]

Sounds good. You're living the good life. Good for you. If I / we were you we wouldn't want to change either. Or would we?

Because many of us here have been there done that. Things change.

Why are you posting here? This section is for addicts that 'want' help for our addiction.

When / If that time comes for you, come back for a visit.

In the meantime here's an FYI. Your reports are loaded with triggers that may cause someone in recovery to have a slip. You wouldn't walk into an A. A. Meeting and boast about how you're drinking and partying like there's no tomorrow, asking "Who wants a free drink?" would you? Same thing here.I think you need to rename the thread. I have offered a suggestion in my title.

Regarding my commentary: I didn't know you were the final arbiter for this thread and it's appropriate content. If you are, I have a suggestion for you: don't have a thread exclusively for recovering sex addicts on a website dedicated to finding women for sex! You are concerned about the content of my posts causing a relapse for someone in recovery? Have you ever noticed the banner ads all around your thread? Your admonishment about whatever I would post is laughable.

You are trying the equivalent of treating alcoholics in the midst of a drunken frat orgy, or, as a closer analogy, on a website for wine tasters.

[Snake27]

I don't know that any "observations" would hold up to universally explain any sexual behavior. Personal observations by their very nature are biased, and skewed to the experiences of one individual. The Kinsey studies showed and other studies since have shown that what we think we know about sexual behavior isn't always what is truly the case.

Scientific studies back this up, but I can certainly personally vouch that females are very promiscuous.

Studies show that women play around as much as men. In this sexually repressed society we just don't like to think that is the case.When I wrote entry 619 I had in mind (by "promiscuity") how much men were keen on initiating sex with new partners. Perhaps I misused the definition of promiscuity, though, and its hard to measure "keenness" or eagerness. You even said in entry 618 "Testosterone is a powerful hormone. The average male has a sexual thought every few minutes". (your words).

I think you can also measure men's eagerness, qualitatively at least, from men's far greater interest in the sex industry; more men are involved in seeking prostitutes, pornography, strip clubs, etc. And I'm not saying that zero women are interested in those things, just much fewer.

However, for "promiscuity in practice" it would have to be the same for men and women since they have sex with each other, the sum of women multiplied by their frequency of sex act must equal to the same sum for men. It's a heterosexual sum rule, and you don't need a study, it's just arithmetic. So maybe we agree after all? LOL.

[MidnightDabber]

I didn't know this exisited and from reding these posts I too think I have a problem.

[Doug Stamper]

I didn't know this exisited and from reding these posts I too think I have a problem.Welcome Midnight. The thread activity level varies depending on participation. Why not get things going again by describing why you might be a sex addict?

[Head First]

I too think I have a problem.It's only a problem till we find the solution. By admitting here, or anywhere, to us, or to anyone, that we have a problem, we've taken the first step towards a better life. Congrats to you.

Now what? Research is our friend. And persistence. Ask questions. Do some homework. Be careful though as sex addiction has a lot of connotations attached to it. Just a fair warning and not meant to deter you.

Addiction is a mental disease as well as a physical one. Get some professional advice / help. And just as important, get some real life advice / help too.

This is one way to think about it. I've been having a streak of things breaking down lately.

1.) My a / c went out. I'm not a mechanic so I took it to a shop and a couple hrs and a few hundred later, it was blowing cold air again. Problem fixed.

2.) In June it seemed like it rained everyday. One of my sump pumps went out and flooded the basement. I'm not a plumber but I know one so a couple hours and a few hundred later, a new pump was pumping again. Problem fixed.

3.) The ice maker in my freezer stopped spitting out cubes. I'm not an appliance repairman so I called one and a couple hours and a few hundred later, that was working again. Problem fixed.

4.) My lawn mower got a flat tire. So I jacked it up and got it off and took it to the tire repair shop. Couldn't be plugged but he had the same exact replacement I needed and for $30 I was back yo cutting the grass. Problem fixed.

5.) My phone was so old they kicked it off the system. Did some research and found a perfect replacement. Brought it home and my son helped me get it up and running. No problem.

What's my point. Most of us are very good at solving other problems. So why do we fail when it comes to fixing our mind / body. Idk. Maybe because we're reluctant to seek out (mental/medical) help. But we don't think twice about fixing other things that go wrong in our lives. Go figure.

By admitting we have a problem we're taking that first step. Don't be afraid to take that second one. Because every step we take towards the solution is one step further away from the problem.

[Panyapinyaya]

Well. Its only a problem when it starts negatively impacting your life. Like this lifestyle as a broke as digital nomad isn't ideal.

Could always just actually get good at game and pick up girls, but sex as a service will still always have a place in my heart or pants.

[Earl2211]

Well. Its only a problem when it starts negatively impacting your life. Like this lifestyle as a broke as digital nomad isn't ideal.

Could always just actually get good at game and pick up girls, but sex as a service will still always have a place in my heart or pants.I mean seriously, is it really that bad being addicted to something that feels so good? I actually think people not addicted are missing out LOL.

[Eyes1515]

Title says it all. PM for details!

[Von1995]

I've been a "monger" for a bit over 10 years. There were periods during those years where I was insanely active. Paying for extras at strip clubs, dating escorts on Craigslist and Backpage, making rounds on the street, just going wherever I could get my nut off. At a certain point in that time I decided to propose to the girl I'd been dating on and off for a few years. I thought that'd be the changing moment. I actually fucked who I'd christened as my "last girl" the morning of the day I proposed. What a fucking joke, thinking I could force myself to change just because I was getting engaged. I've been married for six years now, and it's only been in these last two that I began doing the serious digging required to move the quitting needle in any significant way.

The thought of quitting was always playing silently in the background though. Four years ago, I started dating the girl who gave me my first BBFS experience. I dated her several more times, most times with no cover, and it became the thing I sought out in dates. I got so adept, I could tell from assessing a girl's pics whether or not she'd be likely to let me hit raw, and I was fairly accurate. During that time I had the STD scares (that fortunately turned out to be nothing) and hit a brief phase of deep depression, unbeknownst to my wife. A couple times I just sat in my car and cried before coming home from work. It made me start taking the hard look at myself, though. Who I was, what I thought of myself, and why I was like this. This post really hit home with me.

I wish I'd known what I was in for when I started with this hobby. Seeing one or two girls a month turned into a year of daily visits and browsing escort sites for hours a day. It was like I discovered paradise and I couldn't help but to devote a significant portion of my day to it. I had an idea that I'd stop at some point and had a few "last girl" moments myself, but I knew deep down it was bullshit.

It was pure bliss initially. I'd always leave fully satisfied and with a smile on my face, but the more active I became the more I needed. I'm never fully satisfied with these women anymore, no matter how well the session goes. If anything I leave depressed knowing I'll have to wait until the next day before I get to do it again. The rush I get from setting up a date that peaks just as I'm walking in their door combined with the sex itself quickly turns into a depressed, low mood that stays with me throughout the day.

[DaveSalem]

I'm right there with you, and it's so hard to go cold-turkey with sex addiction.

For awhile I was addicted to the Ashley Madison website. When I couldn't find someone locally I would start expanding my search radius, which got impractical to really meet women that far away. But when that dried up I then found the STG website, and then this website. No matter which website, it seems I spend at least 2 hours out of my workday (I work at home), browing for sex, and then many more hours during the work week texting with women and "doing the deed". I risk getting fired one of these days because I'm not getting my work done. Working at home is not helping one bit.

Yes it's an addiction. The best way out would be to level with my wife exactly what I need to be satisified, but that's not going to happen. She's not the type of sex partner I need (hot body, dirty talk, loves to fuck).

Sorry to ramble. Any similar experiences out there?


This post really hit home with me.

I wish I'd known what I was in for when I started with this hobby. Seeing one or two girls a month turned into a year of daily visits and browsing escort sites for hours a day. It was like I discovered paradise and I couldn't help but to devote a significant portion of my day to it. I had an idea that I'd stop at some point and had a few "last girl" moments myself, but I knew deep down it was bullshit.

It was pure bliss initially. I'd always leave fully satisfied and with a smile on my face, but the more active I became the more I needed. I'm never fully satisfied with these women anymore, no matter how well the session goes. If anything I leave depressed knowing I'll have to wait until the next day before I get to do it again. The rush I get from setting up a date that peaks just as I'm walking in their door combined with the sex itself quickly turns into a depressed, low mood that stays with me throughout the day.

[DaveSalem]

I got caught once having an affair and my wife sent me to Sex Addiction therapy.

That was BS. I'll explain.

The therapist just tried to scare me into stopping my behavior. Warned me that I could get diseases from kissing, oral sex, and even protected sex. Warned me about extortion schemes and people that have lost everything. Then she showed me the progression of sex addiction. Porn, to sex, to multiple partners. Yes I had done MFM and FMF, so this was making sense. She said with addiction you're never satisfied and need to keep getting more kinky. She said next would be BSDM. OK Maybe. I was interested in bondage and had experimented some, but nothing more extreme.

But then next she said next would be pedophilia. That's when I left and didn't return. I have kids that I love to death and would never touch them or any others! Never ever ever!

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

This post really hit home with me.

I wish I'd known what I was in for when I started with this hobby. Seeing one or two girls a month turned into a year of daily visits and browsing escort sites for hours a day. It was like I discovered paradise and I couldn't help but to devote a significant portion of my day to it. I had an idea that I'd stop at some point and had a few "last girl" moments myself, but I knew deep down it was bullshit.

It was pure bliss initially. I'd always leave fully satisfied and with a smile on my face, but the more active I became the more I needed. I'm never fully satisfied with these women anymore, no matter how well the session goes. If anything I leave depressed knowing I'll have to wait until the next day before I get to do it again. The rush I get from setting up a date that peaks just as I'm walking in their door combined with the sex itself quickly turns into a depressed, low mood that stays with me throughout the day.I know what you mean. This time around, I've been in the hobby 9 years. I've "quit" a few times, only to be back a few months later. For me, the bigger rush occurs when they're dropping their panties. The sex is a rush too, but not in the same way. But the rush now is more dulled compared to even a few years ago. Even though I've loved shaved snatches and tattoos on the same body for several years, I'm now almost kind of like, "Oh ok, yet another 20-something year old drug addict with tattoos and a shaved snatch," yet I'm compelled to keep coming back.

I've been on hiatus for 2 months now due to COVID. This is the longest I've gone without in a while. I'm probably going to indulge again soon. But I'm not going to "quit" the hobby again because I know I'll just come back shortly after. At this point, I figure I will lose interest in the hobby when I lose interest in it. The timetable for when that occurs doesn't seem like it's really up to me anyway.

[DaveSalem]

I find myself bouncing between SEXUAL ADDICTION, WORK ADDICTION, and DEPRESSION.

Normally I'm a sex addict. But then I start falling behind at work and need to quit the hobby for awhile and get back on track. Then I fall into a state of depression. I figure I need to start up the hobby again, and that helps. But then I start falling behind at work. And the cycle continues.

Help.


I know what you mean. This time around, I've been in the hobby 9 years. I've "quit" a few times, only to be back a few months later. For me, the bigger rush occurs when they're dropping their panties. The sex is a rush too, but not in the same way. But the rush now is more dulled compared to even a few years ago. Even though I've loved shaved snatches and tattoos on the same body for several years, I'm now almost kind of like, "Oh ok, yet another 20-something year old drug addict with tattoos and a shaved snatch," yet I'm compelled to keep coming back.

I've been on hiatus for 2 months now due to COVID. This is the longest I've gone without in a while. I'm probably going to indulge again soon. But I'm not going to "quit" the hobby again because I know I'll just come back shortly after. At this point, I figure I will lose interest in the hobby when I lose interest in it. The timetable for when that occurs doesn't seem like it's really up to me anyway.

[Bozoner]

I find myself bouncing between SEXUAL ADDICTION, WORK ADDICTION, and DEPRESSION.

Normally I'm a sex addict. But then I start falling behind at work and need to quit the hobby for awhile and get back on track. Then I fall into a state of depression. I figure I need to start up the hobby again, and that helps. But then I start falling behind at work. And the cycle continues.

Help.I have likened my cravings to a drink from a poisoned fountain that leaves one eternally thirsty. I drank from the fountain when I was 27 and have never stopped looking for that rush again. Yes, I "quit" too for a while, but now I really I can never do it. I want it too much, and have risked everything to get it. Even now, with this epidemic, I know I would not hesitate if there were providers nearby. Only my isolation keeps this hunger in check.

[Manolio]

This is the greatest page, look in the girls section for these Colombian delicacies, the best curves in the world. You need check.

https://vecinitas.co/blog/las-mujeres-de-colombia

Tell me how it looks.

[Von1995]

I have likened my cravings to a drink from a poisoned fountain that leaves one eternally thirsty. I drank from the fountain when I was 27 and have never stopped looking for that rush again. Yes, I "quit" too for a while, but now I really I can never do it. Even now, with this epidemic, I know I would not hesitate if there were providers nearby.The coronavirus situation was never going to seriously affect my personal play time. I don't know which would be worse, giving up my favorite hobby for an extended period or actually getting the coronavirus. Call me stupid, but that's honestly how I feel.

The privileges of working from home and the increased availability among providers made seeing them even easier and more tempting, especially a few months ago when things got really bad.

[CGuy2537]

I never thought I would be doing this honestly in a million years. I'm still somewhat young (30's) consider myself attractive, decent stable job, homeowner, blah blah blah. But over the years I just got burned out by relationships. I feel like most women these days are so full of themselves and with the rise of social media, things have gotten ridiculous as far as dating goes. Its like if the girl is even remotely attractive she gets multiple messages per day from keyboard knights in shining armor saying how beautiful she is and hoping to hang out sometime. I think its blown egos out of proportion and now we as men (at least in my generation) get held to such a high standard that if we don't deliver on the daily, James Bond from Home Depot gets to swoop in because hes been throwing her BS lines for months until she finally decides to give the dog his day. F*ck that. I'm not enslaving myself to that torture. I have way too much self respect.

If I can humble myself for a second, that isn't to say that I shouldn't have a finger pointed at me as well. I feel like sometimes the sexual portion of the relationship takes the drivers seat above everything else for me and when I look for a potential partner, they have to fit my criteria on attractiveness or they are just aren't someone I wish to pursue something with. Can't tell you how many good girls I've shrugged because I just can't picture the thought of seeing myself in bed with them. I like a tight bodied girl with some curves that lets her hair down and knows how to turn me on in the covers. But as mentioned before the effort of keeping someone like that interested is more than a full time job.

Even skipthegames has girls trying to trick so its obvious this isn't avoidable but it is a better option for the most part. Its incredible to see someone you like (after reading reviews here of course) effortlessly getting a number to her and making a plan to meet later that day and it be a guaranteed thing. No more free drinks and dinner dates for girls who won't even so much as give a decent hug at the end of the night. Sure it comes with a higher price tag but I figure one successful STG visit is roughly same damage as 2-3 dinner dates and also has a better guarantee. Of course like everything though. Who knows how long this will accessible before LEO steps in or just becomes diluted with scammers that it becomes not worth the time either.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

I never thought I would be doing this honestly in a million years. I'm still somewhat young (30's) consider myself attractive, decent stable job, homeowner, blah blah blah. But over the years I just got burned out by relationships. I feel like most women these days are so full of themselves and with the rise of social media, things have gotten ridiculous as far as dating goes. Its like if the girl is even remotely attractive she gets multiple messages per day from keyboard knights in shining armor saying how beautiful she is and hoping to hang out sometime. I think its blown egos out of proportion and now we as men (at least in my generation) get held to such a high standard that if we don't deliver on the daily, James Bond from Home Depot gets to swoop in because hes been throwing her BS lines for months until she finally decides to give the dog his day. F*ck that. I'm not enslaving myself to that torture. I have way too much self respect.

If I can humble myself for a second, that isn't to say that I shouldn't have a finger pointed at me as well. I feel like sometimes the sexual portion of the relationship takes the drivers seat above everything else for me and when I look for a potential partner, they have to fit my criteria on attractiveness or they are just aren't someone I wish to pursue something with. Can't tell you how many good girls I've shrugged because I just can't picture the thought of seeing myself in bed with them. I like a tight bodied girl with some curves that lets her hair down and knows how to turn me on in the covers. But as mentioned before the effort of keeping someone like that interested is more than a full time job.

Even skipthegames has girls trying to trick so its obvious this isn't avoidable but it is a better option for the most part. Its incredible to see someone you like (after reading reviews here of course) effortlessly getting a number to her and making a plan to meet later that day and it be a guaranteed thing. No more free drinks and dinner dates for girls who won't even so much as give a decent hug at the end of the night. Sure it comes with a higher price tag but I figure one successful STG visit is roughly same damage as 2-3 dinner dates and also has a better guarantee. Of course like everything though. Who knows how long this will accessible before LEO steps in or just becomes diluted with scammers that it becomes not worth the time either.I can't imagine being a young single guy in the social media and Tindr era. Social media has changed everything and inflated women's egos to disastrous proportions. If you haven't read his books or his blog already, read Rollo Tomassi's stuff. It's more descriptive than a step by step guide.

I'm in my 50's. I don't have the exact requirements that you do, but I not into chicks who are either skinny (slender ok, skinny is not) or more than, say, 20 or 25 lbs overweight. Even those requirements rule out a lot of chicks, though.

[Gumpy1989]

I never thought I would be doing this honestly in a million years. I'm still somewhat young (30's) consider myself attractive, decent stable job, homeowner, blah blah blah. But over the years I just got burned out by relationships. I feel like most women these days are so full of themselves and with the rise of social media, things have gotten ridiculous as far as dating goes. Its like if the girl is even remotely attractive she gets multiple messages per day from keyboard knights in shining armor saying how beautiful she is and hoping to hang out sometime. I think its blown egos out of proportion and now we as men (at least in my generation) get held to such a high standard that if we don't deliver on the daily, James Bond from Home Depot gets to swoop in because hes been throwing her BS lines for months until she finally decides to give the dog his day. F*ck that. I'm not enslaving myself to that torture. I have way too much self respect.

If I can humble myself for a second, that isn't to say that I shouldn't have a finger pointed at me as well. I feel like sometimes the sexual portion of the relationship takes the drivers seat above everything else for me and when I look for a potential partner, they have to fit my criteria on attractiveness or they are just aren't someone I wish to pursue something with. Can't tell you how many good girls I've shrugged because I just can't picture the thought of seeing myself in bed with them. I like a tight bodied girl with some curves that lets her hair down and knows how to turn me on in the covers. But as mentioned before the effort of keeping someone like that interested is more than a full time job.

Even skipthegames has girls trying to trick so its obvious this isn't avoidable but it is a better option for the most part. Its incredible to see someone you like (after reading reviews here of course) effortlessly getting a number to her and making a plan to meet later that day and it be a guaranteed thing. No more free drinks and dinner dates for girls who won't even so much as give a decent hug at the end of the night. Sure it comes with a higher price tag but I figure one successful STG visit is roughly same damage as 2-3 dinner dates and also has a better guarantee. Of course like everything though. Who knows how long this will accessible before LEO steps in or just becomes diluted with scammers that it becomes not worth the time either.Dude I feel ya there. I'm only 31 and the dating sucks horribly here. I started seeing escorts in my early twenties. My last relationship wasn't so great and that's when I turned to this. I've been trying to date but honestly girls are so petty these days. If you're not a perfect ten or rich then they won't give you the time of day. I want to get out of this lifestyle but I don't want to be lonely either. I've been burned to much in this and in the dating game as well. I'm definitely getting out eventually though.

[Von1995]

I never thought I would be doing this honestly in a million years. I'm still somewhat young (30's) consider myself attractive, decent stable job, homeowner, blah blah blah. But over the years I just got burned out by relationships. I feel like most women these days are so full of themselves and with the rise of social media, things have gotten ridiculous as far as dating goes. Its like if the girl is even remotely attractive she gets multiple messages per day from keyboard knights in shining armor saying how beautiful she is and hoping to hang out sometime. I think its blown egos out of proportion and now we as men (at least in my generation) get held to such a high standard that if we don't deliver on the daily, James Bond from Home Depot gets to swoop in because hes been throwing her BS lines for months until she finally decides to give the dog his day. F*ck that. I'm not enslaving myself to that torture. I have way too much self respect.

If I can humble myself for a second, that isn't to say that I shouldn't have a finger pointed at me as well. I feel like sometimes the sexual portion of the relationship takes the drivers seat above everything else for me and when I look for a potential partner, they have to fit my criteria on attractiveness or they are just aren't someone I wish to pursue something with. Can't tell you how many good girls I've shrugged because I just can't picture the thought of seeing myself in bed with them. I like a tight bodied girl with some curves that lets her hair down and knows how to turn me on in the covers. But as mentioned before the effort of keeping someone like that interested is more than a full time job.I get what you're saying about women being picky and having incredibly high standards, but its escalation through social media is only a side effect. That's just how women are. The bottom 80% of women compete for the top 20% of men.

You're very open about what you like, a tight-bodied girl who knows how to turn you on in the sheets. That's what every guy wants. Welcome to the club. It's only fair to recognize that women have preferences too, though they aren't anymore noble than ours.

At the end of the day, you have to be what women want you to be. That largely means being wealthy, charismatic, and looking like you can beat the shit out of other men. Be at least one of those things if you want to keep them interested.

[ManuelJellison]

I get what you're saying about women being picky and having incredibly high standards, but its escalation through social media is only a side effect. That's just how women are. The bottom 80% of women compete for the top 20% of men.

You're very open about what you like, a tight-bodied girl who knows how to turn you on in the sheets. That's what every guy wants. Welcome to the club. It's only fair to recognize that women have preferences too, though they aren't anymore noble than ours.

At the end of the day, you have to be what women want you to be. That largely means being wealthy, charismatic, and looking like you can beat the shit out of other men. Be at least one of those things if you want to keep them interested.I agreed with you absolutely.

[Urbanite]

I have likened my cravings to a drink from a poisoned fountain that leaves one eternally thirsty. I drank from the fountain when I was 27 and have never stopped looking for that rush again. Yes, I "quit" too for a while, but now I really I can never do it. I want it too much, and have risked everything to get it. Even now, with this epidemic, I know I would not hesitate if there were providers nearby. Only my isolation keeps this hunger in check.I'm one of us too. Covid has been a distraction that keeps me from "acting out" as its called in the SA community. Its a tough disease and can't do it alone. One of the best resources that's frank and non judgmental is the work of Robert Weiss. Google him, watch his YouTube videos or pod casts in car. He's spot on when it comes to this.

[Ymch520]

Title says it all. PM for details!Eyes1515, I was trying to send you message but your inbox is full I guess lot of interest made it full before I saw your ad. .

[Ymch520]

I am same as one of you here. Thinking lot of time to quit. Get addicted but also can control. But again addition is addiction. More or less dpesnt matter. I'm glad visit this page. Because lot of time I feel like I want to discuss this with someone and like to hear something from others. I found this is the place to share feelings.

[Urbanite]

I am same as one of you here. Thinking lot of time to quit. Get addicted but also can control. But again addition is addiction. More or less dpesnt matter. I'm glad visit this page. Because lot of time I feel like I want to discuss this with someone and like to hear something from others. I found this is the place to share feelings.Has anyone ever gone to SAA meetings? Like AA but its all about Sex and Love Addiction.

I attended a few meetings and I think I was mostly in denial at the time, but to hear some of the struggles it certainly showed how serious this can be. One of the worst part was hearing from some of the young guys in their early 20's that have porn Addiction and porn induced erectile dysfunction. Literally brain is hooked and cannot meaningfully do anything in their lives except look at porn all day. Really sad state of affairs.

[Bozoner]

Has anyone ever gone to SAA meetings? Like AA but its all about Sex and Love Addiction.

I attended a few meetings and I think I was mostly in denial at the time, but to hear some of the struggles it certainly showed how serious this can be. One of the worst part was hearing from some of the young guys in their early 20's that have porn Addiction and porn induced erectile dysfunction. Literally brain is hooked and cannot meaningfully do anything in their lives except look at porn all day. Really sad state of affairs.I went to quite a few about twenty years ago. I got very uncomfortable with the cult-like feel of the 12 step program and came to realize it was not relevant to my situation. I am not an addict due to any trauma or self-loathing issues and found it curiously odd to be sitting in a group of men (women do not go to SAA meetings in my experice) who I had little in common with other than a sex drive I find difficult to control. It was oppressive in the extreme and depressing in its practice.

[DaveSalem]

I have not been to SAA meetings or even heard of them.

But I got busted years ago and S. O. Sent me to SA Counseling. It started out OK, "you shouldn't do this because of AIDS, immoral, diseases", etc. FINE. I get it. Then after a few weeks she showed me this circle of the evolution of Sexual Addiction.

Starts with Porn.

Then actual meets, cheating or prostitutes.

Then 3 somes.

Then Group sex.

Then possible Bi interactions.

OK I was with her up to this point. I wasn't even bi-curious but I can see how that can happen. I mean with a blindfold on, head is head, right?

OK then the next ring is pedophile!

That's when I left and never returned. No way would that ever happen!


Has anyone ever gone to SAA meetings?

[Bozoner]

I have not been to SAA meetings or even heard of them.

But I got busted years ago and S. O. Sent me to SA Counseling. It started out OK, "you shouldn't do this because of AIDS, immoral, diseases", etc. FINE. I get it. Then after a few weeks she showed me this circle of the evolution of Sexual Addiction.

Starts with Porn.

Then actual meets, cheating or prostitutes.

Then 3 somes.

Then Group sex.

Then possible Bi interactions.

OK I was with her up to this point. I wasn't even bi-curious but I can see how that can happen. I mean with a blindfold on, head is head, right?

OK then the next ring is pedophile!

That's when I left and never returned. No way would that ever happen!I was busted too, and sent to a therapist. After he expressed what almost seemed like disappointment when I confirmed that I had no interest in "peeping," he sent me to SAA. I am not sure why an overactive libido is instantly classified as "addiction. " One could also label obesity as "food addiction" I suppose.

[Vbenny]

I've been inactive in meet ups ever since this pandemic took off. I've noticed my family life getting better. I've noticed my finances improve. I've noticed that I have taken more time to engage in healthy eating and exercising. Overall I'm a better person who's actively pursuing more of my interests. I think a lot of that is tied into my not meeting up with girls, not spending as much energy on trying to homework on girls to meet up with. I think that in a lot of ways I should be much happier and running away from this hobby. Yet I'm still checking theses boards, less frequently, but still more than I'm happy with. I've started to scope out postings again. I've never truly gotten any level of enjoyment from a girl that hasn't been attached to some level of shame. I guess I'm not really sure what direction to go in anymore. I don't see SA as a place for me based off some comments I've been reading here, but I think it's becoming clearer to me that this is not something that I'm in control of anymore. What other options have you men found for dealing with addiction? Have you found threads that have been helpful here? Have you found them elsewhere? I'm not sure what my next steps are, or if I'll go back to the hobby later, but I think it's worth exploring more now.

[Urbanite]

I've been inactive in meet ups ever since this pandemic took off. I've noticed my family life getting better. I've noticed my finances improve. I've noticed that I have taken more time to engage in healthy eating and exercising. Overall I'm a better person who's actively pursuing more of my interests. I think a lot of that is tied into my not meeting up with girls, not spending as much energy on trying to homework on girls to meet up with. I think that in a lot of ways I should be much happier and running away from this hobby. Yet I'm still checking theses boards, less frequently, but still more than I'm happy with. I've started to scope out postings again. I've never truly gotten any level of enjoyment from a girl that hasn't been attached to some level of shame. I guess I'm not really sure what direction to go in anymore. I don't see SA as a place for me based off some comments I've been reading here, but I think it's becoming clearer to me that this is not something that I'm in control of anymore. What other options have you men found for dealing with addiction? Have you found threads that have been helpful here? Have you found them elsewhere? I'm not sure what my next steps are, or if I'll go back to the hobby later, but I think it's worth exploring more now.Definitely going through the same stuff. Since the pandemic, theres been no acting out, but have still ventured here on occasion. I will say that reading the works of Robert Weiss (Sex and Love Addiction) expert has been helpful. He's non judgmental and not pushy on 12 step, but the way he frames everything is spot on. Rediscovering other interests and financial benefits are eye opening and rewarding, but the cycle is still easy to fall back in if not careful.

[DarkSideOfMe]

I've been inactive in meet ups ever since this pandemic took off. I've noticed my family life getting better. I've noticed my finances improve. I've noticed that I have taken more time to engage in healthy eating and exercising. Overall I'm a better person who's actively pursuing more of my interests. I think a lot of that is tied into my not meeting up with girls, not spending as much energy on trying to homework on girls to meet up with. I think that in a lot of ways I should be much happier and running away from this hobby. Yet I'm still checking theses boards, less frequently, but still more than I'm happy with. I've started to scope out postings again. I've never truly gotten any level of enjoyment from a girl that hasn't been attached to some level of shame. I guess I'm not really sure what direction to go in anymore. I don't see SA as a place for me based off some comments I've been reading here, but I think it's becoming clearer to me that this is not something that I'm in control of anymore. What other options have you men found for dealing with addiction? Have you found threads that have been helpful here? Have you found them elsewhere? I'm not sure what my next steps are, or if I'll go back to the hobby later, but I think it's worth exploring more now.Just thought I'd stop by see how my crazy Bro's where doing in this Cov -19 time of depression, loneliness. LOL Yes, we all feel the same way, we have cut back, or maybe stopped our addiction temporary, we say, but still we have that urge that's overpowered our mind, and to still think with our little head. Will it ever go away? Family life has gotten better, more time with the wife, more money, less lie's, but I so miss that high, I need to get me through the day's, thinking about the young, old woman I've fucked and the thrill it gave me, only to need more, more more?

Am I a addict?

Fuck Yaaaa!

Stay safe.

[Bozoner]

I don't miss the lying, the discomfort of possible discovery, and the health hazards. I do miss the rush. So much.

[Urbanite]

I don't miss the lying, the discomfort of possible discovery, and the health hazards. I do miss the rush. So much.Thats exactly it.

[TailHunter69]

Just have to chime in with my two cents here. After my back to back nightmares (which you can read in my post history), I'm beginning to wonder what happened to the hobby, and what the answer to this problem is.

[SsStuntCock]

Just have to chime in with my two cents here. After my back to back nightmares (which you can read in my post history), I'm beginning to wonder what happened to the hobby, and what the answer to this problem is.Just curious. Do you interpret those experiences as more than just a one-off and more like time to "get out?

[Dj Hunter]

Can't sum up my feelings any better than that. I failed last night. Over the past two years, I'd managed to dial my habits way back, to the point where I would mostly get a handjob from an SW and even then it was very infrequent. The last couple times I got full service I realized I didn't have much more stomach for the immediate shame and guilt. However, last night, a bunch of life stresses forced me to venture out for relief. Met up with an old provider I used to see, got a BBBJ and finished off nutting with my tip barely inside of her. The shame, guilt, and fear hit me immediately. I ran home, did my bleach protocol (few drops of bleach diluted in warm water, soaking my knob in it) and sat depressed and ashamed. What was I thinking, fooling myself that I could be on the other side of this?

Overall, I still feel like I'm coming out the other side of my addiction. I've had less than ten encounters this year, most no more than kissing and a HJ, and I'm even trying to curtail those. Maybe I needed this experience to reiterate why I need out of this thing. I still can't shake the guilt, shame, and other feelings, and I think I just bought myself a trip to the clinic for a screening. Fuck this hobby. I seriously want out of this shit.

[Csheen]

Can't sum up my feelings any better than that. I failed last night. Over the past two years, I'd managed to dial my habits way back, to the point where I would mostly get a handjob from an SW and even then it was very infrequent. The last couple times I got full service I realized I didn't have much more stomach for the immediate shame and guilt. However, last night, a bunch of life stresses forced me to venture out for relief. Met up with an old provider I used to see, got a BBBJ and finished off nutting with my tip barely inside of her. The shame, guilt, and fear hit me immediately. I ran home, did my bleach protocol (few drops of bleach diluted in warm water, soaking my knob in it) and sat depressed and ashamed. What was I thinking, fooling myself that I could be on the other side of this?

Overall, I still feel like I'm coming out the other side of my addiction. I've had less than ten encounters this year, most no more than kissing and a HJ, and I'm even trying to curtail those. Maybe I needed this experience to reiterate why I need out of this thing. I still can't shake the guilt, shame, and other feelings, and I think I just bought myself a trip to the clinic for a screening. Fuck this hobby. I seriously want out of this shit.In Sex Addicts anonymous. They say 'progress not perfection', so if you feel like you are moving in the direction of sobriety you should be grateful.

[Dj Hunter]

In Sex Addicts anonymous. They say 'progress not perfection', so if you feel like you are moving in the direction of sobriety you should be grateful.Thanks. I think that saying means a lot. I still feel bad about slipping and, moreover, slipping in such a risky way (getting a BBBJ and putting my peter anywhere near her vag). That's way too much for me these days, and this is coming from a person whose had his fair share of BBBJ / BBFS encounters. I also don't want to have to make "emergency" clinic visits but I'm not taking chances.

Outside of the lingering feelings of shame and guilt, I still feel optimistic that I can come out the other side of this and get it out of my life for good. I just need to get past this recent episode. Thanks for those words.

[LustCaution]

Hey why'll.

I got into the game very early. Around when I was 20/21 years old? I had / have pretty low self esteem in the past so I guess the thought of having sex easily appealed to me greatly. To add to that, the thrill of backpage was something else. Anyway, I used my parents money to see girls and when I graduated and got my own job I started trying to quit. For me its like once the feeling latches on, I'm doing nothing but scrolling forums, calling girls. I feel very much helpless when I get in this phase. I have been doing very well though. The last time I saw someone was like at least 7-8 months ago? Since then I have contacted an escort and cancelled on my way twice. I have convinced myself naturally that the lying and mental damage the game will do to me (as I view it, no dig on people who view mongering differently), will be irreparable and when I do get intimate with a girl one day, this will be an issue. So that's how I stop myself, another way is to imagine the damage it would do to my mom and my family. The disappointment would be immense. Also I think its easier to start thinking about quitting after you start to feel intense guilt on the way back home. Even easier if the experience itself was nothing special or bad in some way.

Recently, I have been perusing this site and my go-to agencies in my area. However, I am managing to kind of stop myself a bit, but ngl if this one provider texted me back right now, I'm not sure what I would do. I'm in a weird head space where I have quit on the way multiple times but somehow feel I am ready to fuck up 2021 for myself by doing this.

On another note, how linked do you think your hunger for escorts is to porn? I feel like maybe pornography is maybe the thing that always leads my mind wandering back.

Nice to see some other people's struggles though, thanks for posting, I am looking into some authors that have been mentioned like Rob Weiss, maybe can find some inspiration to keep my streak going.

[DaveSalem]

Here's my advice to you as someone twice your age who didn't have the internet when I was your age, or I probably would've done the same thing. I was too cheap though to pay for sex that I could get on my own. I did spend some time overseas and the legal prostitution was just too good and too cheap to pass up, so I did enjoy a few BJ's.

My advice is to sow your oats as much as possible before you settle down and get married. My biggest misfortune in life was not doing this before marriage. I married for love. The sex was "good", but I didn't know what "great" was yet. Enter kids, wife loses interest in sex, the internet, and now I'm an official monger stealing money from the family funds and sneaking behind everyone's back. Now I know what great sex is, and it sure as fuck isn't happening at home.

Do not follow this path in life. I wish I was not a monger and a cheater.

Hate to tell someone to dump your gf if she's not good in bed, but let me put it another way: dump your girlfriend if she's not good in bed! Love will come again. You need to find a partner that you love and that absolutely rocks your world and every fantasy you have. Discuss porn. Discuss escorts. Discuss that sexual wants and needs cannot go unfulfilled. Explain that if guys (not all though) don't get really good pussy at home on a regular basis, they're going to find it elsewhere. Women don't respect this. It's just how some-to-most of us are wired.


...if this one provider texted me back right now, I'm not sure what I would do. I'm in a weird head space where I have quit on the way multiple times but somehow feel I am ready to fuck up 2021 for myself by doing this.

Nice to see some other people's struggles though, thanks for posting.

[MongerSeeker]

Personally I am addicted to chase rather than the act itself. For myself I find looking for a hotter SW at a reasonable to be exciting. These days I cruise much less since there fewer good looking SW's where I live in SD. I tend to stick to TJ at least for now. I also enjoy reading other guys adventure on this forum.

[WhyOhWhy]

So. I've been mongering since I was 18. (horny bastard). I always told myself I would stop but I can't. Its not really hurting my financial situation because I'm single. I've on the forum since 2008. (I delete my account several times out of guilt). I'm 36 now and my plan is to save money to retire in Thailand or vietnam so I can fuck all day everyday. I enjoy it but I'm buzzin from the alcohol and wondering if I have problems because I love fucking prostitutes. Can anyone relate?

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

So. I've been mongering since I was 18. (horny bastard). I always told myself I would stop but I can't. Its not really hurting my financial situation because I'm single. I've on the forum since 2008. (I delete my account several times out of guilt). I'm 36 now and my plan is to save money to retire in Thailand or vietnam so I can fuck all day everyday. I enjoy it but I'm buzzin from the alcohol and wondering if I have problems because I love fucking prostitutes. Can anyone relate?I started young too, due to being in the military, though I was out of the scene for a long time until I was older. I've slowed down on the hobby in the past year due to COVID, age (50's), and the local scene not being as good as it used to be. But in the past, not all that long ago, I used to fantasize about moving to a part of town where I would have easier access to women. Heck, I've thought it would be pretty cool to be able to walk 6 or 7 blocks to bang a provider, walk back home, and no one being the wiser for what happened on my "walk". I've also envied the mongers in their late 60's or 70's who are still banging women in their 20's.

I will probably always have occasional trysts in the hobby for the rest of my life, but I'm reaching a point where more and more, seeing providers usually isn't worth the trouble. Maybe I'll change my mind in a few months when it's shorts and bikini season, but right now, I'd be content with seeing a provider 3 or 4 times a year. Maybe you'll get to that point too when you get older.

[Bozone]

The only reason the pandemic has stopped me is the fact it has robbed me of legitimate excuses to be out of the house.

[LazyAss69]

Have you ever lost the feeling of orgasm.

[PicassoForRC]

The only reason the pandemic has stopped me is the fact it has robbed me of legitimate excuses to be out of the house.Ha ha! Yep! At least Home Depot was still open.

[PicassoForRC]

This is the greatest page, look in the girls section for these Colombian delicacies, the best curves in the world. You need check.

https://vecinitas.co/blog/las-mujeres-de-colombia

Tell me how it looks.Same site in Barcelona Spain. OMG the girls were beautiful, GFE and reasonable. Some local Spanish girls, no LE problems. I glad I don't live there, I'd be broke!! Had a 19 yo gal go ass up face down and told me to eat it. God it was amazing to suck, lick and kiss her glorioso tanned ass! Her little corn hole was like sugar!! Wow! Slipped inside and pooped too soon (she felt wonderful). Saw her twice. And the visits include a mutual shower before and after. The feeling of her ass and tits all soaped up in my hands was pure joy!! My hard cock poking her in her juicy but cheek (how it gave to the pressure) was another highlight. 19 yo pussy is unreal.

I also used to see a gal from another board. She was 18 and new to the biz. She was CFS and CBJ, but the highlight was DATY!! Watching her anus pulsate (in 69) when she came is etched in my brain forever!!.

Mot sure I'm helping anyone with this story, but more of an admittance that I'm hooked too! I stopped for three weeks due to my initial hysteria over the Rona. I started up playing regularly last spring, and most of the summer with not even a sneeze. I did spend most of my time with a reg.

Anyway, from a fellow horn dog.

[PicassoForRC]

Doc recommended HRT for chronic low T. Wow! I'm better is so many ways! Getting jacked is super easy (not body builder size) although you don't take super high amounts as that's an issue. I feel 25 again save some aches and pains after heavy physical activities. On the hobby front. Holy crap I'm horny as a three dick billy goat! HRT is not helping getting out of pooning! It want it so much these days! A saw a girl in yoga pants at the market and had to cover my boner.

Gee thanks doc.

I do worry about the number of girls addicted these days. Lots of robs to fulfil the habit. Society at large appears to be numbing itself with dope and VR. There's a reason I don't own a VR hood. It be too much porn and trust me way better VR is on the way. That will likely kill sex between real people as soon you'll not be able to distinguish VR pussy (think flesh light hooked to a vr hood with moisture sensors and heat for $1000 initially). Sounds crazy, but it's coming. Couple years later that VR pussy will sell for $299. AI is getting cheaper all the time. I'm totally rambling now. It helps get crap off my mind.

P.S. My staying power is unreal. Only thing is I don't shoot huge loads anymore and sometimes that orgasm is a tad bit weaker. Other times earth shattering.

Be safe fellas and enjoy.

[LazyAss69]

In Sex Addicts anonymous. They say 'progress not perfection', so if you feel like you are moving in the direction of sobriety you should be grateful.What's sobriety??

[JlsG910]

Hopefully this post doesn't get taken down, but I guess I understand if it does. I'm not a monger.

I'm the wife of someone who likely is a monger and it is tearing me apart. I say "likely" bc I know he comes on here and does searches for escorts and Asian massage parlors, and I know inadvertently that he has visited and tried to visit massage parlors, ones that I know he frequented before we were married. We are under lockdown bc of the pandemic (health issues) and he's talked about wishing he could get massages (he really does need them) but the fact that a) he hasn't told me about going when he's gone, b) he visits this site and has searched for escorts, and c) the place he went gets thumbs up from the monger crowd kinda has me believing he's gone for more than just muscle work.

We have a great relationship and a sex life that would make most of you green with envy. Has always been good but got even better with marriage (been married less than a year). We lived in different parts of the country for the couple of years we dated and over the past year I have learned of just how much sex he was having behind my back. Like, 15 different women (most fairly regularly, and most purely about sex, it seems). All the while also going to massage parlors and seeking out escorts.

I sort of feel like I am answering my own question, but any thoughts on possible sex addiction? And if he were you, how would you like to be approached about it? This man is the love of my life and I know I satisfy him. I'm not worried about him going to others bc he's not getting good stuff at home I'm worried that his sexual behavior is out of control. I want to stand by him and help him, presuming he wants it. He has to know all that he is risking by his behavior. He is a good guy, beautiful person, loving, and caring. And I can't help but think he's suffering. I can't help but think he has this compulsive desire and if I think about that in comparison to a drug or booze addict, he must have some sort of inner turmoil.

Anyway, I'm just looking for advice on how to reach him. I confronted him about a few relationships he was in that I found out before we married and he was a bit defensive. I've forgiven him and would still forgive him if he could work on leaving this secret life behind. Like I said, he is the love of my life (and no, I'm not young. Middle aged and second marriage, been around the block enough times to know that getting angry won't get me anywhere and I actually don't take all of this personally. I feel confident in what we have. If this is an addiction, how can I not try to help?? In sickness and in health, right?

[DaveSalem]

HRT sounds great but I've been tested and my T is fine. They tested me when I asked for ED meds, which I really only use for recreational purposes.

I doubt that I could get them without a medical reason. ED meds they'll give to anyone who can tolerate them, because it's not really medically detectable if your Testosterone is normal.


Doc recommended HRT for chronic low T. Wow! I'm better is so many ways! Getting jacked is super easy (not body builder size) although you don't take super high amounts as that's an issue. I feel 25 again save some aches and pains after heavy physical activities. On the hobby front. Holy crap I'm horny as a three dick billy goat! HRT is not helping getting out of pooning! It want it so much these days! A saw a girl in yoga pants at the market and had to cover my boner.

Gee thanks doc.

I do worry about the number of girls addicted these days. Lots of robs to fulfil the habit. Society at large appears to be numbing itself with dope and VR. There's a reason I don't own a VR hood. It be too much porn and trust me way better VR is on the way. That will likely kill sex between real people as soon you'll not be able to distinguish VR pussy (think flesh light hooked to a vr hood with moisture sensors and heat for $1000 initially). Sounds crazy, but it's coming. Couple years later that VR pussy will sell for $299. AI is getting cheaper all the time. I'm totally rambling now. It helps get crap off my mind.

P.S. My staying power is unreal. Only thing is I don't shoot huge loads anymore and sometimes that orgasm is a tad bit weaker. Other times earth shattering.

Be safe fellas and enjoy.

[JlsG910]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was deleted because it contributed nothing of value and in fact constituted a complete waste of bandwidth.

The purpose of this Forum is to provide for the exchange if information between men on the subject of finding women for sex. Let's stick to the subject.

[Bozone]

Until the shame reaches the same intensity as the rush, I can't see stopping.

[HungPartyGuy]

Until the shame reaches the same intensity as the rush, I can't see stopping.Even since my first time I've always been hooked and I use sex so unhealthily as far a reasons go sometimes its to cope with depression but more often than not its so to try and feel at least slightly less worthless as if I can just get enough people off then I deserver to exist (I have bipolar depression so especially in my low lows I get totally out of control sexually) I truly only find females or passable MtF attractive but I've let strange men run train on my ass more than I'd like to admit and I feel so much shame after rando after rando pumps their load in me but at the same time I feel a sort of rush or happiness because at least in those moments I'm not completely worthless.

[SecondTry]

Hey why'll.

I got into the game very early. Around when I was 20/21 years old? I had / have pretty low self esteem in the past so I guess the thought of having sex easily appealed to me greatly. To add to that, the thrill of backpage was something else. Anyway, I used my parents money to see girls and when I graduated and got my own job I started trying to quit. For me its like once the feeling latches on, I'm doing nothing but scrolling forums, calling girls. I feel very much helpless when I get in this phase.

Nice to see some other people's struggles though, thanks for posting, I am looking into some authors that have been mentioned like Rob Weiss, maybe can find some inspiration to keep my streak going.If there's no sex addicts anonymous where you live they got stuff online- I went to a couple dozen meetings and if you're serious about getting a new life they'll help a lot. Also you can go to Aa or NA when they talk about alcohol or dope you just substitute those words with "pussy" in your mind. Don't tell anyone you're working on sex addiction there they'll all cringe LOL but it's essentially the same anti addiction theme.

I didn't work the steps but managed to cut back dramatically where I now live outside "the bubble" that being the all consuming haze of lust. Now I just bang a ho a few times a month (instead of a few times a day LOL).

[Gumpy1989]

Hopefully this post doesn't get taken down, but I guess I understand if it does. I'm not a monger.

I'm the wife of someone who likely is a monger and it is tearing me apart. I say "likely" bc I know he comes on here and does searches for escorts and Asian massage parlors, and I know inadvertently that he has visited and tried to visit massage parlors, ones that I know he frequented before we were married. We are under lockdown bc of the pandemic (health issues) and he's talked about wishing he could get massages (he really does need them) but the fact that a) he hasn't told me about going when he's gone, b) he visits this site and has searched for escorts, and c) the place he went gets thumbs up from the monger crowd kinda has me believing he's gone for more than just muscle work.

We have a great relationship and a sex life that would make most of you green with envy. Has always been good but got even better with marriage (been married less than a year). We lived in different parts of the country for the couple of years we dated and over the past year I have learned of just how much sex he was having behind my back. Like, 15 different women (most fairly regularly, and most purely about sex, it seems). All the while also going to massage parlors and seeking out escorts.

I sort of feel like I am answering my own question, but any thoughts on possible sex addiction? And if he were you, how would you like to be approached about it? This man is the love of my life and I know I satisfy him. I'm not worried about him going to others bc he's not getting good stuff at home I'm worried that his sexual behavior is out of control. I want to stand by him and help him, presuming he wants it. He has to know all that he is risking by his behavior. He is a good guy, beautiful person, loving, and caring. And I can't help but think he's suffering. I can't help but think he has this compulsive desire and if I think about that in comparison to a drug or booze addict, he must have some sort of inner turmoil.

Anyway, I'm just looking for advice on how to reach him. I confronted him about a few relationships he was in that I found out before we married and he was a bit defensive. I've forgiven him and would still forgive him if he could work on leaving this secret life behind. Like I said, he is the love of my life (and no, I'm not young. Middle aged and second marriage, been around the block enough times to know that getting angry won't get me anywhere and I actually don't take all of this personally. I feel confident in what we have. If this is an addiction, how can I not try to help?? In sickness and in health, right?Hello. He might not realize that he has an addiction, or might not see it that way. You will need to have a frank talk with him about it eventually. You need to tell him exactly how it makes you feel. Offer to get help for him. There are groups out there for him and you. Look up celebrate recovery. It's a Christian 12 step program for any addiction really. Some have support groups for spouses of the addiction. It does help. Though the first step is admitting that you have a problem. If he's not willing to get help or doesn't think it's a problem you should still go yourself for your own peace of mind. If you have any questions feel free to message me.

[DreamCatching]

Aloha gentleman,

I wanted to say hello. This is my first time hearing about this thread and I must say I'm glad I stumbled on it. I've been in the mongering game for a few years, still young too (haven't even hit my thirties yet) and I thought it was only me who was going through these addictive episodes. I'm both relieved but saddened that I am not the only one. I always considered myself below average, low self-esteem so nothing much going for me but work. When I did my first attempt seeing an escort, I ended up getting a rush of adrenaline and carnal pleasure that I never felt before. I felt like I was something more. I thought the trade of a couple bucks for that high was worth it. Kept going at it whenever a new provider came to the island (Hawaii is scarce on providers where I'm from so it's not easy to get a variety) until one day I found myself with a girlfriend. She was sweet, pretty, and she truly cares and sees me for me which makes me feel worse because I couldn't stop trying to see a provider. I was already so deep into the monger world that I would search sites everyday if anyone was available on the island. That high which was becoming less and less potent on me which made me want it more and my hatred for myself was growing larger whenever I would see a provider than my girlfriend after. The feeling of having a significant other who truly has your back and is there for you in every way is such a sharp contrast from having some attractive random girl who will do what you want but doesn't have any feelings for you. Trying to make sense of all that is too much, because I truly believe you cannot have both. It's a black hole of self-loathing folks and the outcome is either a numbness or complete and utter chaos on your emotions. Up is down, left becomes right and you have to handle all these feelings in private because you cornered yourself from being able to tell anyone. Even if you did speak about it how would you justify why you did what you did.

I reached a breaking point of my guilt and shame when they closed backpage. I literally started scrambling finding ways to see a provider (remember this is Hawaii, but not Oahu so providers are scarce). I looked like a madman when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I am an addict. You might hate me for saying this but closing BP was a good thing for me. I tried hard to pick up the pieces and try to live before my mongering. I went to therapy, I focused more on my work and I even reawakened old hobbies I long forgot. Worked out a lot whenever I felt the urge to feel that high again and I always tried to be a better boyfriend. Unfortunately, the struggle is never ending. Relapses happen which is why you see me posting here. I have not seen a provider for about a year or two, but urges find a way. I have found myself now on seeking, not all the time but when the urge is too much. I wish this story had a happy ending, but I wanted to give the realistic journey and not some fairytale.

As a closer I just wanted to say I am not one to judge anyone on their reasons or why they are doing this. Truth be told there are some who embraced this lifestyle and are doing so of their own accord. If so than I wish more power to you and all the providers to treat you well. If you feel you are an addict and want out of this vicious cycle than hang in there alright, from one stranger to another. Keep strong.

Thank you for allowing me to tell my story. If you think I am scum than that is alright, I deserve it. I'm weak, a coward, but I'm trying. If anyone here is reading this and going through the same thing then DON'T give up and accept it. I know you can be better than this. You will not just hurt yourselves, but others as well.

Learn from me.

Mahalo and stay safe.

[Jarston1]

This is obviously an old thread that I'm resurrecting and I doubt she'll / you'll ever read this, but I just want to say that you are being really understanding and honest about this. I think a lot of women, although generally hurt, act out a fantasy of how they should feel about it instead of confronting how they actually feel about it.

He could have a sex addiction of some kind. As far as the escorts go, maybe he peruses but never sees them. I look at the escort sites but I don't partake. Most of us aren't addicted to this because of some weird illness. It's because it's an exciting experience for not a whole lot of money. Other than the possibility of a raid, it feels very safe too. You never know what you are going to get. Especially with the AMP scene. You walk in, you are greeted by someone you have never seen before, escorted into a room you have never seen before, then are given a massage and you don't know where it will lead. Some guys know where it will lead because they know the place. I specifically look for places that I don't know anything about.

I like to be surprised.

Life can be pretty damned boring and any excitement can grab us and not let us go.

If it were me and my wife tried to "confront" me about it I don't know what I would do. But, if she came up to me and just said "Look, I think I know about the places you go and things that you do. I need you to stop if you love me. " I would be completely devastated and it could be enough for me to change. As I write this, I wonder what my SO knows about my problem. For me, it is. I'm deeply conflicted and ashamed of it. I had a friend convince me that getting "happy endings" while on travel was kind of a perk that all men should partake of. "It makes the heart grow fonder, lets you blow out some steam" kind of thing. He didn't seem to have any guilt about it, he told me his wife even knew about it but she didn't care. I thought the "happy ending" thing was a myth until he told me about it - so I gave it a go. But then it became more regular the the endings got more than "happy."

I never feel good about myself after I go. I feel terrible. I think about my wife, I think about the money and how I could have spent it on more nice things for the family, I think about my morals and faith. It's awful. Then, somehow, it's a brand new day and I want to go again. I want to never go to another one of these places again in my life - but when I get out there on the road for business that "thrill seeking" part of me comes out and I repeat the behavior. I'm about to travel next week and I've been hunting all of this week planning for where I'm going to have an encounter. Maybe it is a sickness now that I think about it. It's ludicrous.

Best of luck to you, if you ever read this.


Hopefully this post doesn't get taken down, but I guess I understand if it does. I'm not a monger.

I'm the wife of someone who likely is a monger and it is tearing me apart. I say "likely" bc I know he comes on here and does searches for escorts and Asian massage parlors, and I know inadvertently that he has visited and tried to visit massage parlors, ones that I know he frequented before we were married. We are under lockdown bc of the pandemic (health issues) and he's talked about wishing he could get massages (he really does need them) but the fact that a) he hasn't told me about going when he's gone, b) he visits this site and has searched for escorts, and c) the place he went gets thumbs up from the monger crowd kinda has me believing he's gone for more than just muscle work.

We have a great relationship and a sex life that would make most of you green with envy. Has always been good but got even better with marriage (been married less than a year). We lived in different parts of the country for the couple of years we dated and over the past year I have learned of just how much sex he was having behind my back. Like, 15 different women (most fairly regularly, and most purely about sex, it seems). All the while also going to massage parlors and seeking out escorts.

I sort of feel like I am answering my own question, but any thoughts on possible sex addiction? And if he were you, how would you like to be approached about it? This man is the love of my life and I know I satisfy him. I'm not worried about him going to others bc he's not getting good stuff at home I'm worried that his sexual behavior is out of control. I want to stand by him and help him, presuming he wants it. He has to know all that he is risking by his behavior. He is a good guy, beautiful person, loving, and caring. And I can't help but think he's suffering. I can't help but think he has this compulsive desire and if I think about that in comparison to a drug or booze addict, he must have some sort of inner turmoil.

Anyway, I'm just looking for advice on how to reach him. I confronted him about a few relationships he was in that I found out before we married and he was a bit defensive. I've forgiven him and would still forgive him if he could work on leaving this secret life behind. Like I said, he is the love of my life (and no, I'm not young. Middle aged and second marriage, been around the block enough times to know that getting angry won't get me anywhere and I actually don't take all of this personally. I feel confident in what we have. If this is an addiction, how can I not try to help?? In sickness and in health, right?

[Chuckrr]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was deleted because the content of the report was pointless, unproductive drama. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. Thank You!

[Dicdic]

I have been in this hobby for about 10 years first the strip clubs, then the AMPs and topping it off with backpage. I have seen friends busted and families destroyed. I have even been caught by my SO who JlsG910 remind me of and I still don't know why I do it I always have buyers regret. This is the first time that I am being honest about this I don't know if I have a problem but this is my first step and thank you Jarston1 for sharing.

[BaseHit]

Aloha gentleman,

I wanted to say hello. This is my first time hearing about this thread and I must say I'm glad I stumbled on it. I've been in the mongering game for a few years, still young too (haven't even hit my thirties yet) and I thought it was only me who was going through these addictive episodes. I'm both relieved but saddened that I am not the only one. I always considered myself below average, low self-esteem so nothing much going for me but work. When I did my first attempt seeing an escort, I ended up getting a rush of adrenaline and carnal pleasure that I never felt before. I felt like I was something more. I thought the trade of a couple bucks for that high was worth it. Kept going at it whenever a new provider came to the island (Hawaii is scarce on providers where I'm from so it's not easy to get a variety) until one day I found myself with a girlfriend. She was sweet, pretty, and she truly cares and sees me for me which makes me feel worse because I couldn't stop trying to see a provider. I was already so deep into the monger world that I would search sites everyday if anyone was available on the island. That high which was becoming less and less potent on me which made me want it more and my hatred for myself was growing larger whenever I would see a provider than my girlfriend after. The feeling of having a significant other who truly has your back and is there for you in every way is such a sharp contrast from having some attractive random girl who will do what you want but doesn't have any feelings for you. Trying to make sense of all that is too much, because I truly believe you cannot have both. It's a black hole of self-loathing folks and the outcome is either a numbness or complete and utter chaos on your emotions. Up is down, left becomes right and you have to handle all these feelings in private because you cornered yourself from being able to tell anyone. Even if you did speak about it how would you justify why you did what you did.

I reached a breaking point of my guilt and shame when they closed backpage. I literally started scrambling finding ways to see a provider (remember this is Hawaii, but not Oahu so providers are scarce). I looked like a madman when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I am an addict. You might hate me for saying this but closing BP was a good thing for me. I tried hard to pick up the pieces and try to live before my mongering. I went to therapy, I focused more on my work and I even reawakened old hobbies I long forgot. Worked out a lot whenever I felt the urge to feel that high again and I always tried to be a better boyfriend. Unfortunately, the struggle is never ending. Relapses happen which is why you see me posting here. I have not seen a provider for about a year or two, but urges find a way. I have found myself now on seeking, not all the time but when the urge is too much. I wish this story had a happy ending, but I wanted to give the realistic journey and not some fairytale.

As a closer I just wanted to say I am not one to judge anyone on their reasons or why they are doing this. Truth be told there are some who embraced this lifestyle and are doing so of their own accord. If so than I wish more power to you and all the providers to treat you well. If you feel you are an addict and want out of this vicious cycle than hang in there alright, from one stranger to another. Keep strong.

Thank you for allowing me to tell my story. If you think I am scum than that is alright, I deserve it. I'm weak, a coward, but I'm trying. If anyone here is reading this and going through the same thing then DON'T give up and accept it. I know you can be better than this. You will not just hurt yourselves, but others as well.

Learn from p

Mahalo and stay safe.Hi DreamCatching. How goes the fight? Are you winning? I've had my ups and downs and personally know it is a tough road. Don't beat yourself up. You are not scum. When I read your post I can tell you have a good heart and a good moral compass. Don't forget to look in the mirror and remind yourself of that. I do it daily and it does help. Keep up the good fight learn from your mistakes when you make them and carry on.

Tony.

[LJ Looking]

I have been in this hobby for about 10 years first the strip clubs, then the AMPs and topping it off with backpage. I have seen friends busted and families destroyed. I have even been caught by my SO who JlsG910 remind me of and I still don't know why I do it I always have buyers regret. This is the first time that I am being honest about this I don't know if I have a problem but this is my first step and thank you Jarston1 for sharing.I too am a sex addict. Seeking prostitutes, watch a ton of porn, masturbate several times a day everyday.

If you're like me or think you're an addict or know someone that you think maybe an addict, search "The Most Personal Addiction" book by Joe Zychik. You can download a pdf, it's free.

If you do, I'd like your thoughts. I have no affiliation with the author, I just understood where he was coming from. It just made things a bit more clear. I also don't agree with everything, but I did find it very helpful in understanding this addiction better. I still struggle as I am married, but my wife doesn't understand and is not as supportive as I was hoping for, which I believe is vital to success in overcoming this addiction.

[N Gorged]

Somewhere there is a scale following the title, but w / a 4th stage, interdependency, that I omitted as I've forgotten the difference. It was used to describe relationships in general, but I'm applying it to sexuality relationships, specifically. Dependency we know. We call it addiction; independency we know when having been dependent, we study and grow or gain sobriety. Inter. Is being sexual but not judging it, I think. Intra. Is being inclusive to the entire drama (that I am about to share).

It's a lot like the Stages of Faith work of James Fowler, describing human maturity along Ericksonian lines. 0-6 yr, 7-12, 13-18, 19-34, 35-55, & 56 on. As toddler / imaginative, pre-teen / literal, teen / group level, early adult / personal, mid-adult / mystical, and finally elder adult / sacrificial. Some folks stay at the group mind level, in churches. And in sexual awareness, as I understand it. In faiths, Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi, MLK Jr, have all attained the 6th level. So sure of their understandings of life that they are willing to die for it.

It helps having a framework for our understanding, and an ability to keep looking into it. In sexuality, it was Victorian era English who put strict stds on what is proper and what is not, such that most are rebelling at it, and less can extract themselves from it, getting sobriety as generally spoken. But while some personalities can fit into that mold, others have a more playful side, wanting to share love and explore their sensuality and sexuality. In Victorian era English, those with diverse tastes, were usually driven underground. And were likely part of the control-file nature of politics. Catherine Austin Fitts talks of this to some extent. Knowing the depths that some elitist will go to retain their power, and to influence or extort others to go along with their plans, sadly. The whole thing has skewed the fuller maturation process that sexuality goes through, when not usurped to serve a political objective.

Oriental cultures have studied the body longer, developing wholistic medicine incorporating energy lines and points, called meridians. Then heightened or lessened via acupuncture. Whenever at an Asian Massage Parlor, and getting a rub, it is nice to be teased. Ideally, it need not happen all the time. Tantra yoga notes we can channel our sexual seeds up the spine to depart along chakra points - 1st, sexually into children; 2nd with others in relationships; 3rd to heighten our self esteem via arts, crafts, work; 4th to augment our ability to love which is also healing from love scars of past lovers or abuses; 5th is to be vocalized along anything spoken or sung; 6th is to be aware of the seat of our soul, in this 3rd eye point; 7th is to live out our highest and best self, even being able to re-start our endocrine system and prolong our lifetime into our 100's. As with Stages of Faith, most stay between the 2nd or 3rd level, though as others do more into 4th chakra work, it creates a 100th Monkey-effect to allow others to ascend to that level as well.

So to make a long story short, many spiritual seekers have talked of putting restraints upon our carnal instincts, as our ego in psychological terms. But rather than keeping it immature, we can also grow above that, to mature it. To have a fuller sensual and sexual experience. Ego / psych students have either the basic resource to get into a problem, then get out of it, and never go back in. Certainly, addicts who've relapsed will say it is impossible to do so, yet I believe it is only impossible for some types. See the Meyers-Briggs personality profiling book, Gifts Differing; some cannot, but a rare few can attain the Boddhisatvic level, and bring the rest of us further along. I'm not there, just being a gate-holder, or trying to open an alchemical channel to show that we can turn our base emotions into golden wisdom - - - Ross Hamilton has a great talk on this on Dr Rita Louise Youtube show, from how pyramids were to channel magnetic energy deep in the earth. Like our bodies. By connecting up to the electrical nature of the sky. Oddly, the RH talk is of the Serpent Mound in Ohio. Bringing us back full circle to sexuality, spirituality and the ascension or descension of the planet and its peoples.

[Head First]

I've been doing it more than three decades

A2.Hopefully you're still doing it. Is it 3.5 decades now?

This path that we're on sometimes still has some hurdles on it but for the most part they're mainly speed bumps. Right?

Congrats! Man.

[Ray Pugh]

I went to a meeting two weeks ago but there were too many gay men, I didn't feel comfortable. Does anyone use online meetings? I have been to a couple other support groups online and I just prefer being around people.

[Johnny Shakes]

Last week I booked a lady from google directory I don't no for name but I booked for 1 hour first she was come to location to late then I open a door I see She is totally change I was shocked what's The problem this is a bigger scam for me. Anyone know that where I searching for service?

[Sinbadd]

He wants sex more than she does.

[Sudcciv]

Fun fact about "addiction"-it is a SUBJECTIVE TERM, and there is NO "clinical criteria" in the ICD-10 (the "bible" of medical diagnoses), or the "DSM-5" (the "bible" of psychological diagnoses! "Addiction" to one is a "habit" to another. I do NOT recommend ANY "12 Step" program of ANY kind for ANY "addiction", since ending the damned thing is NOT it's goal! Basically, you CANNOT change the addict, but you CAN change your "relationship"/ interaction WITH the addict. Give the person a CHOICE-you or the drug, you or the addiction, you or the hookers, etc. When you have cut off all communication with the addict, then he will see that you are serious about the "line in the sand" that you drew and he / she violated. YOU get to move on. The "addict" CHOSE NOT TO!


Hello. He might not realize that he has an addiction, or might not see it that way. You will need to have a frank talk with him about it eventually. You need to tell him exactly how it makes you feel. Offer to get help for him. There are groups out there for him and you. Look up celebrate recovery. It's a Christian 12 step program for any addiction really. Some have support groups for spouses of the addiction. It does help. Though the first step is admitting that you have a problem. If he's not willing to get help or doesn't think it's a problem you should still go yourself for your own peace of mind. If you have any questions feel free to message me.

[JayPm]

I am young man! I am addicted to sex from last 7 years! Yes I am! I really need suggestions to get out of this darkness. Before sex addiction, I was always watching porn everyday and musterbeting. When came to know about all this escorts massage and strip clubs, I was in run to test every other girl! Still I am always thinking about to have fun with new girls. I always want to see and have feelings to see their face and expressions when I am having fun. Yes I am stupid that I feel every time that I am going to tear her up and see her expression and get pleasure from it! I feel so guilty every time I have fun. I am earning good money now but I am also spending a lot and this addiction is all over me currently. I have seen more than 100 girls in my past 7 years. I am still under thirty's. I was seeing girls before my marriage and now also, yes I am married now. I tried so many times not to look for reviews and not to see but I feel this addiction is like alcohol, no matter how you control yourself but you keep going back to your addiction. I do not have any other addiction. My spouse doesn't know anything about my current situation. I don't know what I do to control myself. I really need support, I could not seek for any rehab or medical care because I don't want that my spouse will come to about this.

I am seen massage, Strip club, escorts, SB. 80%-90% gave me compliments that I am really good person! I am not overthinking of myself but I never forced or disrespected anyone of I have seen! I always stay calm and give them respect. I all are doing for reason. I am really tired of this and feel myself guilty everyday in mirror that How can I control! How! Please any suggestions welcome. Thank you.

[PriscillaM]

I went to a meeting two weeks ago but there were too many gay men, I didn't feel comfortable. Does anyone use online meetings? I have been to a couple other support groups online and I just prefer being around people.I would assume that just like everything else that is done by phone or zoom, it is even more useless than the real thing.

I used to walk on the beach in Venice California and listen to an AA meeting as I stole their free coffee and donuts. The pandemic shut that down but there are a few that creep up. Most of it is just drunks complaining about how their childhood trauma makes them drink or bullshit like that.

As for sex addiction and gay men, I would be horrified if I was in the same room as a gay guy who self confessed to be a sex addict.

Look dude, if you are on this board, it is because you like sex. If you like it too much, well then you need to manage it. But do not try to solve it- this is not like drugs or booze that can lead you to death or DUI, it is just fooking. Jeez.

[Jarston1]

If you do see this.

There's a hindu proverb about a woman who takes her son to a guru to get the son to quit eating sugar. The guru says "come back in a week. " She came back a week later and he said "come back in another week. " This went on for some time. Finally the guru gave her the answer to stop her sons sugar habit. She thanked him and asked "why did you keep telling me to come back?

The guru replied, I had to figure out how to stop my sugar addiction first.

You see where this is going. If anyone had an answer we'd fix our own problem. The internet has made this very easy. We can watch all the porn we want, find a girl online, whatever. Back in the day you had to get porn at an adult store, find girls in the street or club, or wherever other seedy locations. It's very easy these days to have a "double life. " You can really be a great and standup guy 23/7. It's that little hour though, or more, that you can be a real piece of work.

All I can say is keep trying and the conventional wisdom is not to tell your wife. They may say that they want to know. But if you love her even women will tell you not to tell her. Deal with it, stop doing it, make a firm resolve. It's going to be very hard. People will give me shit for it but go to confession if that's in your faith system.


I am young man! I am addicted to sex from last 7 years! Yes I am! I really need suggestions to get out of this darkness. Before sex addiction, I was always watching porn everyday and musterbeting. When came to know about all this escorts massage and strip clubs, I was in run to test every other girl! Still I am always thinking about to have fun with new girls. I always want to see and have feelings to see their face and expressions when I am having fun. Yes I am stupid that I feel every time that I am going to tear her up and see her expression and get pleasure from it! I feel so guilty every time I have fun. I am earning good money now but I am also spending a lot and this addiction is all over me currently. I have seen more than 100 girls in my past 7 years. I am still under thirty's. I was seeing girls before my marriage and now also, yes I am married now. I tried so many times not to look for reviews and not to see but I feel this addiction is like alcohol, no matter how you control yourself but you keep going back to your addiction. I do not have any other addiction. My spouse doesn't know anything about my current situation. I don't know what I do to control myself. I really need support, I could not seek for any rehab or medical care because I don't want that my spouse will come to about this..

[Member #6450]

Something I've come to terms with in my life. Yes, I am a sex addict. I'm trying really hard to not be anymore. I'd be lying if I said my addiction didn't negatively affect relationships with women. I've never physically mistreated women, but I know I've emotionally have been a piece of shit to women in the past. It's something I regret. I have seemed to have gotten watching porn under control. One day I just got bored with porn and stopped going to pornhub and xvideos. I do look at hot women's pictures and videos on instagram and stuff. I guess you can loosely call that porn but the hardcore videos I've stopped watching completely. I have noticed a drastic improvement in maintaining erections, so it's a start. Started working out and going to the gym again after 10 years of being mostly inactive. That has helped my mental health and overall health in general. Still not where I need to be but I'm getting there and seeing results. Yes, I still do see escorts and massage girls which started when I was only 18 right out of HS. More on that below. I took a self imposed hiatus for a few months to reflect on all this. Gave up porn and got rid of the male sex toys I had. Just threw them in the trash. Now I seek out quality and I'm selective of who I see. I still have needs after all.

Back to when I first started seeing escorts. I was too young and didn't realize I was addicted. I didn't have the emotional maturity to handle it. Not sure what happened when I was young because I grew up in a good family, went to good schools, and parents still together. Yes, my parents were kind of strict when I was growing up. I wasn't allowed to "date" until well into high school. It was always supervised dates so there was always an adult around. All my friends had girlfriends but I wasn't allowed to have one. I liked girls, but not wanting to piss off my parents I was too scared back then to even talk to girls. This resulted in social awkwardness and anxiety. I've since broken out of that but still have some confidence issues to this day. Not nearly as bad as back then though. After HS, I still hadn't been laid yet, so I thought let's make this easier on myself and get an escort. I lost my virginity to a god damn hooker. She was nothing special and in fact I remember her being kind of a *****. How's that for my first experience getting laid. Sad! I had to pay someone for the shitty experience. Yeah thanks.

I was addicted to hookers/escorts and didn't realize it. It was more the thrill and anticipation of seeing a new girl not knowing what she was going to look like. This was pre-internet days, 1989/1990 when it started. I wish I never met the guy who introduced me to the weekly news rag which had an adult section that was full of ads for escorts, strippers, phone sex lines, etc. This guy also introduced me to strip clubs as we would often go to a local one after work. I was only 18, but this one club was 18 and over. He was a coworker and we were working for the town we lived in. Got the job out of HS and made good money. A lot of escort girls were $150 an hour FS back then. I have had only a few normal relationships with women in my life. I've been engaged a couple of times, but never married and no children. I do kind of regret that at 52 years old now. I've spent heaven knows how much money on girls over the years. Easily 6 figures. One woman I may have had a normal relationship with I ruined myself. This was about 20 years ago. I know she really liked me. We had sex the in first weekend we met and she was very much into me. Then after I wanted nothing to do with her. She was beautiful and I was a piece of shit to her. I broke that girls heart. I could tell she never really had a boyfriend in her life and took advantage. A mutual friend who introduced us later told me I ruined this poor woman emotionally. I did run into her years later and her demeanor was downright cold and could tell there was an edge to her. She was jaded and I am positive it was my fault. After all, all I had mostly known was paying a woman to fuck and then just leave.
I'm not proud of this. Maybe that's my punishment for treating her the way I did. My punishment is I have to be alone for the rest of my life and I'm not allowed to have a meaningful relationship with a woman ever again. I've also dated escort girls and I can say this was unequivocally a bad decision. All ended in disaster both emotionally and financially. If anybody is considering doing that, please dont and get far away as possible. You will not be the one to save her and it's going to end badly. These women belong to the streets as the kids say. I've come to terms that this is my life. I wish it were different but I've accepted it.

[LacroixPapi]

I am also a sex addict. I just needed to write this down somewhere. I cleared 300 K last year of working and a good bit of that went towards ******. I'm going to re-evaluate my life and my financial situation. Most of the money was spent on girls and also hiding it from my SO in forms of booking hotels. Sometimes up to 500 per visit for some of these girls. It's shameful and pleasurable at the same time. I guess that's the hook. My SO has no idea, I've always remained clean and safe during this "hobby" despite some close calls. Even had a pregnancy close call due to a potential IUD failure. Everything about this ride has been exhilarating at times but I need to make a change. But, change to what? The alternative doesn't seem exciting. Monogamous sex on an infrequent basis (what percentage of husbands out here are really fucking their wives as much as they want to). This shit is depressing af LOL.

[Jarston1]

I go through fits of just embracing it. I say myself "You know what, I'm a man and this is what I'm going to do. No more little this and little that, QV here or AMP there. I'm going to see quality wh0 res. I deserve it. Best of the best. Pat my kids on the head and kiss my wife on the cheek, call my mother on her birthday. Nothing wrong with me at all."

Seriously, this is the conversation I have with myself. But the reality is that all we are doing is making a deeper and deeper crater that can't be filled. It hit me the other day I wanted to see a call-girl so badly but for whatever reason I couldn't. I was so irritated, like an addict who ran out of smack. Then I saw a girl I used to know, what a stunner, who was starting to show signs of age. It broke my heart. Or maybe I see one and I can now see the signs of drug use. Also broke my heart and reminded me of the reality here.

It's just a fucked up thing of ours and I can't see ever being able to really embrace it. And if you're not fully embracing it you're not really enjoying it. If you do fully embrace it though, I fear you lose your soul. As far as sex with the wife, she wants it more than I do. We're too busy, she's too much of a *****. I just want nothing to do with her really.

Keep trying. I know I am. I am still relapsing pretty often but I'm trying to just keep trucking when I do.


I am also a sex addict. I just needed to write this down somewhere. I cleared 300 K last year of working and a good bit of that went towards ******. I'm going to re-evaluate my life and my financial situation. Most of the money was spent on girls and also hiding it from my SO in forms of booking hotels. Sometimes up to 500 per visit for some of these girls. It's shameful and pleasurable at the same time. I guess that's the hook. My SO has no idea, I've always remained clean and safe during this "hobby" despite some close calls. Even had a pregnancy close call due to a potential IUD failure. Everything about this ride has been exhilarating at times but I need to make a change. But, change to what? The alternative doesn't seem exciting. Monogamous sex on an infrequent basis (what percentage of husbands out here are really fucking their wives as much as they want to). This shit is depressing af LOL.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

I can relate to a lot of what you and the last couple guys have said. I alternate between the "I'm a man and I have needs" type of thing and having that sense of emptiness or dread. The dread being that I've been doing this for most of the past 12 years and that no winning streak lasts forever. The more I do it and the longer I'm in the game, more opportunities arise for something to go really wrong like catching a disease, getting robbed, getting stabbed, being spotted by someone I know, etc and that it will happen when I least expect it.

I hope to someday get action again because of real attraction and not because of the benjamins in my pocket. But I'm getting older and that window will be closing soon.

Meanwhile, I will go back and forth between playing the game when I can't stand the dry spells anymore and sitting out to minimize my risk and the dent in my wallet.

Stay safe out there.


I go through fits of just embracing it. I say myself "You know what, I'm a man and this is what I'm going to do. No more little this and little that, QV here or AMP there. I'm going to see quality wh0 res. I deserve it. Best of the best. Pat my kids on the head and kiss my wife on the cheek, call my mother on her birthday. Nothing wrong with me at all."

Seriously, this is the conversation I have with myself. But the reality is that all we are doing is making a deeper and deeper crater that can't be filled. It hit me the other day I wanted to see a call-girl so badly but for whatever reason I couldn't. I was so irritated, like an addict who ran out of smack. Then I saw a girl I used to know, what a stunner, who was starting to show signs of age. It broke my heart. Or maybe I see one and I can now see the signs of drug use. Also broke my heart and reminded me of the reality here.

It's just a fucked up thing of ours and I can't see ever being able to really embrace it. And if you're not fully embracing it you're not really enjoying it. If you do fully embrace it though, I fear you lose your soul. As far as sex with the wife, she wants it more than I do. We're too busy, she's too much of a *****. I just want nothing to do with her really.

Keep trying. I know I am. I am still relapsing pretty often but I'm trying to just keep trucking when I do.

[Wiggles0923]

I can relate to a lot of what you and the last couple guys have said. I alternate between the "I'm a man and I have needs" type of thing and having that sense of emptiness or dread. The dread being that I've been doing this for most of the past 12 years and that no winning streak lasts forever. The more I do it and the longer I'm in the game, more opportunities arise for something to go really wrong like catching a disease, getting robbed, getting stabbed, being spotted by someone I know, etc and that it will happen when I least expect it.

I hope to someday get action again because of real attraction and not because of the benjamins in my pocket. But I'm getting older and that window will be closing soon.

Meanwhile, I will go back and forth between playing the game when I can't stand the dry spells anymore and sitting out to minimize my risk and the dent in my wallet.

Stay safe out there.I have a beautiful girlfriend but keep getting drawn back in. I don't want to cheat but I have. Like the addrenalin rush and doing something taboo. The sex is not nearly as good as what I have. I don't know how to get help. Are there groups or something.

[Dj Hunter]

I have a beautiful girlfriend but keep getting drawn back in. I don't want to cheat but I have. Like the addrenalin rush and doing something taboo. The sex is not nearly as good as what I have. I don't know how to get help. Are there groups or something.Per the famous Scarface line: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" That's how this game feels. I've had several fits and starts, times when I just want to be done with this dangerous hobby and others when I just want to cum inside the orifice of a stranger. I have a good wife and family and its absolutely depressing knowing that I'm willing to risk all of that for this. I'd also never imagined myself as a cheater, let alone a cheater with prostitutes and escorts. However, 15 years later here we are. It is a sick mental balancing act of having to navigate the shame, guilt, desire, depression, and a punch bowl of other emotions. I will always regret allowing myself into this game.

As far as help, I'll say that one important thing is having someone or others to confide in. There are groups as well as therapists. There are also members here. I befriended a couple members from the board whom I felt I could trust and was regularly in touch with them for a time. We tried to hold each other accountable and be each others' sounding boards since we could relate to each others' experiences and not be judgmental, but its been a while since we last talked. I will say that there are options. I've learned that its very difficult to escape addiction and that is a scary notion. I don't want to know how far this road goes and where it leads because I doubt its anywhere good.

[LasVegas1976]

Per the famous Scarface line: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" That's how this game feels. I've had several fits and starts, times when I just want to be done with this dangerous hobby and others when I just want to cum inside the orifice of a stranger. I have a good wife and family and its absolutely depressing knowing that I'm willing to risk all of that for this. I'd also never imagined myself as a cheater, let alone a cheater with prostitutes and escorts. However, 15 years later here we are. It is a sick mental balancing act of having to navigate the shame, guilt, desire, depression, and a punch bowl of other emotions. I will always regret allowing myself into this game.

As far as help, I'll say that one important thing is having someone or others to confide in. There are groups as well as therapists. There are also members here. I befriended a couple members from the board whom I felt I could trust and was regularly in touch with them for a time. We tried to hold each other accountable and be each others' sounding boards since we could relate to each others' experiences and not be judgmental, but its been a while since we last talked. I will say that there are options. I've learned that its very difficult to escape addiction and that is a scary notion. I don't want to know how far this road goes and where it leads because I doubt its anywhere good.I'm in the same boat. I've had so many dangerous situations in the last 10 years, got burned twice by girls who said they were 'clean' (lucky I didn't give anything to my other) and despite these crazy situations I still draw myself back in. Although I haven't really done FS in many years and for the most part do massage and HJ ending.

[Dj Hunter]

I'm in the same boat. I've had so many dangerous situations in the last 10 years, got burned twice by girls who said they were 'clean' (lucky I didn't give anything to my other) and despite these crazy situations I still draw myself back in. Although I haven't really done FS in many years and for the most part do massage and HJ ending.Recovery is tough. I've started down this path several times and failed each time. Change is scary, and I think that quitting this thing that has become a part of my identity over decades is daunting because I really have to change who I am. That sounds monumentally difficult. But I think I'm going to keep trying. There are a lot of past things that led me here and I have to deal with my past. I've also been haunted by terrifying shame and guilt. I've gotten to this point in the past but never really translated any of it to lasting change. I just felt sorry for myself and went back to engaging in this behavior.

Next step for me is just taking things one day at a time and working with my therapist. Perhaps finding and joining SAA and definitely taking more stock in myself, owning up to my shitty behavior, and honestly seeking change. I deserve better in my life and I'm a better person than this. I know relapse is possible and I'm aware that I'll eventually reach a baseline where I'm not feeling so introspective and I'll want to fuck a random woman again. The psychological roller coaster is, and has been, something else. If you're religious, please pray for me and I'll do the same for you and for all of us.

[MosesBlack]

Which is the first step. I used to think that all this was harmless because I'm just a normal man with a high sex drive right. It is far from harmless and I'm coming to the conclusion that you can get sucked in too deep and ruin yourself, your family, and your reputation. I also fluctuate between this is normal to this is fucked up. Slowly I'm coming to terms with why I do this and the traumas of the past. Same with any woman in this industry, do you think a normal woman with a healthy loving family would do this? That's why when you hear their stories it's usually a train wreck. But yes getting out for good is hard.

[Dj Hunter]

Which is the first step. I used to think that all this was harmless because I'm just a normal man with a high sex drive right. It is far from harmless and I'm coming to the conclusion that you can get sucked in too deep and ruin yourself, your family, and your reputation. I also fluctuate between this is normal to this is fucked up. Slowly I'm coming to terms with why I do this and the traumas of the past. Same with any woman in this industry, do you think a normal woman with a healthy loving family would do this? That's why when you hear their stories it's usually a train wreck. But yes getting out for good is hard.Honestly confronting and admitting to ourselves that we have a problem is a huge first step. I remember looking at myself in the mirror one night and seeing myself for who I am, a sex addict. I don't want to believe it but its true and that was the hardest look over myself that I'd ever had to do. And I've made all of those same excuses. That I'm biologically wired as a man to behave this way, or that my wife isn't attractive enough and I can fuck someone who looks better (which is usually not the case because I meet with streetwalkers and bottom-feeder escorts, most of whom look much worse than my wife will ever look), all types of crazy and untrue things.

Getting out for good is probably going to be the hardest thing I'll ever do in my life. My personality has been shaped around this hobby. Recently, I realized that I spend so much time looking at women in public. It kinda startled me because my head always stays on a swivel. And I'll weaponize all of that imagery to compare random women to my wife, or store it for a jerk session, or worse it'll feed my desire to let it off with a worker. There are so many subtle parts of this addiction that are easy to ignore which is makes it so difficult to escape. Re-wiring myself and making a lasting change of personality is going to be hard and I'm quite scared. I keep wanting to convince myself that I'm simply not ready. But if I don't start down the path of quitting, this motherfucker will take me down and completely fracture and devestate my wife and family.

[MosesBlack]

Honestly confronting and admitting to ourselves that we have a problem is a huge first step. I remember looking at myself in the mirror one night and seeing myself for who I am, a sex addict. I don't want to believe it but its true and that was the hardest look over myself that I'd ever had to do. And I've made all of those same excuses. That I'm biologically wired as a man to behave this way, or that my wife isn't attractive enough and I can fuck someone who looks better (which is usually not the case because I meet with streetwalkers and bottom-feeder escorts, most of whom look much worse than my wife will ever look), all types of crazy and untrue things.

Getting out for good is probably going to be the hardest thing I'll ever do in my life. My personality has been shaped around this hobby. Recently, I realized that I spend so much time looking at women in public. It kinda startled me because my head always stays on a swivel. And I'll weaponize all of that imagery to compare random women to my wife, or store it for a jerk session, or worse it'll feed my desire to let it off with a worker. There are so many subtle parts of this addiction that are easy to ignore which is makes it so difficult to escape. Re-wiring myself and making a lasting change of personality is going to be hard and I'm quite scared. I keep wanting to convince myself that I'm simply not ready. But if I don't start down the path of quitting, this motherfucker will take me down and completely fracture and devestate my wife and family.It will absolutely be a monumental undertaking for all of us. I'll be honest when I say I'm not sure I can do it. I've realized that much just stems from loneliness and false beliefs like if I don't have a super active sex life I'm a loser which is not true. There have been plenty of people who lived celibate lives through history and accomplished quite a bit.

I suffer the same thing especially comparing and checking out women in public to the extent that I believe it goes beyond normal behavior. The comparing is terrible because there is no end. I currently see an escort who looks like a model and I still think to myself it's not good enough, what's next, can I fuck a hotter woman? Now imagine what this does to your partner, a person who loves you.

Then there's going to strip clubs and seeing the old men who still are there. To me it's sad, and it's like a gambling or drug addict that never quit.

I've tried many things, counseling, organized religion, retreats, and some have worked for a while but so still have not stopped. I wish you the best my man in this.

[Dj Hunter]

It will absolutely be a monumental undertaking for all of us. I'll be honest when I say I'm not sure I can do it. I've realized that much just stems from loneliness and false beliefs like if I don't have a super active sex life I'm a loser which is not true. There have been plenty of people who lived celibate lives through history and accomplished quite a bit.

I suffer the same thing especially comparing and checking out women in public to the extent that I believe it goes beyond normal behavior. The comparing is terrible because there is no end. I currently see an escort who looks like a model and I still think to myself it's not good enough, what's next, can I fuck a hotter woman? Now imagine what this does to your partner, a person who loves you.

Then there's going to strip clubs and seeing the old men who still are there. To me it's sad, and it's like a gambling or drug addict that never quit.

I've tried many things, counseling, organized religion, retreats, and some have worked for a while but so still have not stopped. I wish you the best my man in this.I feel you. I'm truly not sure I can do it either but I won't know until I try (and I've already given it about 15 half-hearted tries over the years). I hope that all of us who are acknowledging this as a problem in our lives continue trying. I'm also motivated by the fear of what happens if I don't try to quit. My wife will likely find out, or I'll get a disease, or both, or I'll just continue spiraling down the cycle of depression, lying, and self-medicating until one or more of the former happen and I take myself off this planet. Those are the frightening alternatives I have, while my addiction deludes me into thinking I just need to bust one more nut to feel better. But I also want (and need) to really change as a person because I'm tired of acting and feeling like a selfish piece of shit dysfunctional misfit who's always down on himself.

[BaseHit]

I feel you. I'm truly not sure I can do it either but I won't know until I try (and I've already given it about 15 half-hearted tries over the years). I hope that all of us who are acknowledging this as a problem in our lives continue trying. I'm also motivated by the fear of what happens if I don't try to quit. My wife will likely find out, or I'll get a disease, or both, or I'll just continue spiraling down the cycle of depression, lying, and self-medicating until one or more of the former happen and I take myself off this planet. Those are the frightening alternatives I have, while my addiction deludes me into thinking I just need to bust one more nut to feel better. But I also want (and need) to really change as a person because I'm tired of acting and feeling like a selfish piece of shit dysfunctional misfit who's always down on himself.The way you feel and think about yourself is more common than you think. I too share many of the same traits. Not until recently did I discover I am a codependent. The more I learned about it the more I understood myself and my actions. For me personally I was always looking for more intimacy that's why I bounced from one escort to another hoping to get that rush It's the same reason I never dated anyone for more than a few months. I'm still trying to kick this habit and I have a long way to go however I'm gaining ground as to what and why the urge hits giving me some pause to reconsider my actions. I use to seek out an escort at least once a month now it's every few months if that. When I do I'm able to process why I did and not beat myself up for it. We're all damaged goods my friend, the key is to identify the wound and treat it. Your mind and body will thank you for it. Good luck in whichever path you take.

[ReadingNeeds]

I have been a sex addict most of my life. I have also always had a need to take care of people who I care about. Something is screwy in me for sure. I don't know what. 30 years ago I gave up alcohol and all drugs. And to top it all off, I have a pretty crappy life. But, I have a little money and all I know is that when I am having sex, all that other stuff and stress go away. So I chase. I am older and more mature. I know much of this problem stems from my personal insecurity. I don't really know what to do about it and if I did, I'm not sure I would do it. I do know that sex takes me away. And it makes my life better for that hour. And then some. For a guy like me, who's home life reality is pretty bad, that's something. I am now a care taker for a sick spouse. But, as other posters have pointed out, I view women everywhere as a source of an escape. Doesn't matter where I am, I undress them in my mind. It truly is exhausting and far from the way most men without this affliction live their life.

I would rather not be a sex addict. But, given the choice of Alcoholic, drug addict or anything having to do with kids, I'd rather be what I am. I work hard, take care of my family financially, I love them. And they know it but, I have secret life that I am pretty ashamed of.

[IcyBlu]

I hit rock bottom last month. I travelled to Japan and saw providers who were 19 to 23 years old at legal a legal establishment. At first, I felt like the luckiest man. Wow, I have the time and resources now to travel to see providers across the world. I'm in my 30's, so the fact that I was in a room with a much younger woman felt like a dream initially. Typically younger providers in the USA are addicted to something or in bad mental shape.

While having sex, I kept thinking about the reasons why women aged 19-23 would even partake in this world. They even allowed video recording for extra money, which I declined. Digital footprint is real, and I was surprised that they would even allow that kind of option. Some of their eyes had signs of emotional detachment. In a weird way, I felt a connection despite the language barrier. I did not have the happiest childhood and remember a lot of my youth crying from abuse. I don't blame my parent anymore, but I forgave them after I began seeing sex workers. My trip wasn't exclusively for sex, so I spent a lot of my time roaming Japan thinking about my life and how it ended up this way. I don't want pity because I am in a good place financially. The fact that I am able to travel for fun alone screams privilege.

Of course I like having sex, but I find a lot of enjoyment just talking about vulnerable topics while cuddling with sex workers. My friends think I'm some sort of outstanding guy with morals. It kills me deep down every time someone compliments me for being a good person.

Feel like I'm trapped. I put on a fake persona when meeting up with friends. I end dates with women early when they start poking around my past. No one knows about my sex addiction and I plan to keep it that way.

Just wanted to write this down somewhere. Feels nice to admit being a sex addict. Even on a sex forum.

[EuphoriaSeeker]

For the past year and a half, every time I've came, it's been while high on a substance known for its energizing properties, similar to Adderall, but could lead to a very methed up life if you're not careful.

I've grown addicted to the climax while in that state since I can easily string 4 or more climaxes back to back over the course of 5 minutes. How could I not once I experience that?

[SkeletonKey6]

I can understand labeling it a problem if a monger spends $1 million on AMPs over the course of 10-15 years, IF this amount of $$ has a negative effect on their financial well-being. But how about mongers who still have plenty of $$ after fucking about 5000 different AMP girls over the course of 15 years?

[N Gorged]

Rolling Cols OH streets for last decade, flee from mundane life usually. Infrequently to celebrate a success tho that is few and far between. Cruised 4 or 5 times a week, at my peak, cause I could, and since chasing women at bars or at dating sites often meant getting strung along for weeks, without a hint of sex from the lady. Streetwalkers can be a sure thing. Tho I'd been ripped off many a time. Now aging and seeing a lesser need to cruise, I think of a bucket list. As if I could actually walk away from the hobby. SW'ers or AMPs. Never got into escorts or strip clubs very much.

Reading "The Seat of the Soul" by ex-Green Beret, Gary Zukav. Is 4 sections, and the 3rd is Responsibility, with chapters of Choice, Addiction, Relationships and Souls. To release an Addiction, one must first admit that there is one. To acknowledge it, is to say that part of our life is out of control. (it is a fine line, requiring each to decide, or continue to run away or minimize a problem) The experience of addictive sexual attraction is an experience of powerlessness, and a desire to feed off a weaker soul. THE WAY OUT of it is to remind yourself when you feel the attraction, you are feeling powerlessness and desiring to prey upon a soul that is weaker than yourself.

Remind yourself that the partner to whom you are drawn (at a mall, bar or streets) is equally drawn to others. Sexual attraction is a weakness detection system. When it locates a person who is weak enough to be susceptible to you, to be seduced by you, it triggers within you the experience of sexual attraction. The need to dominate is the same as the need to be submissive. It is a power to choose. Test your power of choice because each time that you choose otherwise, you disengage the power of your addiction more and more, and increase your personal power more and more. (maybe some of you are already doing this; I tried to quit, pre-covid, but the social isolation had me running to the streets for connection; then it was invaluable; now I have other choices).

Make yourself aware of the consequences of your decisions, upon yourself and upon your finances, mental and emotional health, children or partners, etc. You stand between 2 worlds of your lesser self and your fuller self. Your lesser self tempts you with irresponsibility, unconsciousness and no discipline. Your fuller self is aligned with your non-physical help. The work to be done is yours, but assistance is always there for you in your guides, teachers, mentors, and expansive thoughts. You may hear or feel their guidance, but not be ready to take that step. Your guides do not know time, so they know you will eventually move away from it. At times, there is wisdom in waiting until all of you prepares for the journey away from your addiction. There is no shame in that decision, as the Universe does not judge.

Eventually you will come to authentic empowerment. You will know the power of forgiveness, humbleness, clarity and love. You will evolve beyond the human experience, beyond the learning environment of Earth school. When you die, you leave your personality and your body behind as well as your powerlessness, inadequacies, fears, angers, and time. You will perceive with loving eyes and compassionate understanding the experiences of your life, including those that seemed so much to control you. You will see what purposes they served. You will survey what has been learned and you will bring these things into your next incarnation.

[Dj Hunter]

Rolling Cols OH streets for last decade, flee from mundane life usually. Infrequently to celebrate a success tho that is few and far between. Cruised 4 or 5 times a week, at my peak, cause I could, and since chasing women at bars or at dating sites often meant getting strung along for weeks, without a hint of sex from the lady. Streetwalkers can be a sure thing. Tho I'd been ripped off many a time. Now aging and seeing a lesser need to cruise, I think of a bucket list. As if I could actually walk away from the hobby. SW'ers or AMPs. Never got into escorts or strip clubs very much.

Reading "The Seat of the Soul" by ex-Green Beret, Gary Zukav. Is 4 sections, and the 3rd is Responsibility, with chapters of Choice, Addiction, Relationships and Souls. To release an Addiction, one must first admit that there is one. To acknowledge it, is to say that part of our life is out of control. (it is a fine line, requiring each to decide, or continue to run away or minimize a problem) The experience of addictive sexual attraction is an experience of powerlessness, and a desire to feed off a weaker soul. THE WAY OUT of it is to remind yourself when you feel the attraction, you are feeling powerlessness and desiring to prey upon a soul that is weaker than yourself.

Remind yourself that the partner to whom you are drawn (at a mall, bar or streets) is equally drawn to others. Sexual attraction is a weakness detection system. When it locates a person who is weak enough to be susceptible to you, to be seduced by you, it triggers within you the experience of sexual attraction. The need to dominate is the same as the need to be submissive. It is a power to choose. Test your power of choice because each time that you choose otherwise, you disengage the power of your addiction more and more, and increase your personal power more and more. (maybe some of you are already doing this; I tried to quit, pre-covid, but the social isolation had me running to the streets for connection; then it was invaluable; now I have other choices).

Make yourself aware of the consequences of your decisions, upon yourself and upon your finances, mental and emotional health, children or partners, etc. You stand between 2 worlds of your lesser self and your fuller self. Your lesser self tempts you with irresponsibility, unconsciousness and no discipline. Your fuller self is aligned with your non-physical help. The work to be done is yours, but assistance is always there for you in your guides, teachers, mentors, and expansive thoughts. You may hear or feel their guidance, but not be ready to take that step. Your guides do not know time, so they know you will eventually move away from it. At times, there is wisdom in waiting until all of you prepares for the journey away from your addiction. There is no shame in that decision, as the Universe does not judge.

Eventually you will come to authentic empowerment. You will know the power of forgiveness, humbleness, clarity and love. You will evolve beyond the human experience, beyond the learning environment of Earth school. When you die, you leave your personality and your body behind as well as your powerlessness, inadequacies, fears, angers, and time. You will perceive with loving eyes and compassionate understanding the experiences of your life, including those that seemed so much to control you. You will see what purposes they served. You will survey what has been learned and you will bring these things into your next incarnation.Much of what you quoted really resonates with me. Lately, I've narrowed down the reasons why I've partaken in this hobby and it comes down to a few primary things: validation seeking, "new pussy", escape, pleasure seeking, and an attitude of "because I can". I picked apart each reason and what I've found is that none of these are truly good and defendable reasons, especially considering that these encounters really don't serve me in a productive way and haven't made me feel better about myself in a very long time. Nowadays, I typically feel shame, regret, anger, resentment, and fear afterwards. I know I'm not living up to my core values and I'm harming myself and others. Its mostly an act of avoidance for me. Therapy and daily journaling have been very helpful in peeling back the onion.

[Dj Hunter]

I can understand labeling it a problem if a monger spends $1 million on AMPs over the course of 10-15 years, IF this amount of $$ has a negative effect on their financial well-being. But how about mongers who still have plenty of $$ after fucking about 5000 different AMP girls over the course of 15 years?Its only a problem if you think its a problem. Has nothing to do with money spent. For me, money spent is only an indicator of a lack of control even though I've never been able to not afford the hobby. I'm otherwise a pretty frugal and financially responsible person, but I've probably spent easily over $30 k in the last decade alone on this. That speaks to a pattern of behavior if nothing else.

[TCap5225]

I just wanted to share some advice that was given to me that is really helping me (so far). And that was a getting over the shame and self loathing over what you have done. Learning to forgive yourself and move on in a happier life. The past will only cripple you if you choose to dwell there. If you find yourself thinking about what you've done and you're beating yourself up over it, you need to stop, acknowledge it, and remind yourself there is nothing you can do to change your past, but you can feel better by focusing on your present and future by being better. I'm just at the start of the journey but, that advice really resonated with me.

[BlutoMadison]

Sometimes that might be what it takes. Hit bottom. Face the risk of losing what really matters to you. In some devastating way. Ruining the lives of the people who matter to you. Ruining your reputation. Are these fleeting and forgettable moments worth all that? Probably not. But we're all like frogs in water, gradually heating up. Eventually it's boiling. And we die.

[BlutoMadison]

I just wanted to share some advice that was given to me that is really helping me (so far). And that was a getting over the shame and self loathing over what you have done. Learning to forgive yourself and move on in a happier life. The past will only cripple you if you choose to dwell there. If you find yourself thinking about what you've done and you're beating yourself up over it, you need to stop, acknowledge it, and remind yourself there is nothing you can do to change your past, but you can feel better by focusing on your present and future by being better. I'm just at the start of the journey but, that advice really resonated with me.Great advice. Focus on what you can change. Accept what you can't. Like the past.

[BlutoMadison]

Nowadays, I typically feel shame, regret, anger, resentment, and fear afterwards. I know I'm not living up to my core values and I'm harming myself and others. Its mostly an act of avoidance for me. Therapy and daily journaling have been very helpful in peeling back the onion.You're not alone. I feel the same way. Bad habits take on a life of their own.

[NickyGoogle]

Hi guys. I have been dealing with more or less the Addiction to the thrill of seeing a SW. Its not even about the sex really. Most times I can't even perform well but I am addicted to the chase.

What works for me is when I leave work for the weekend I make sure to lock my Debit / ATM card away in my desk and only take less than 100 in cash for my needs. This takes the impulsivity of being able to withdraw cash to see a SW. I generally am too busy during the workweek to Monger. One thing I noticed is once you break your cycle and see someone your never satisfied and it ends up being a "binge" if you will and next thing you know you blew 500 bucks over 3 days. Keep in the fight guys!

[Db3203]

Hey guys. Like many of you, I can't believe there is a thread for this. Also like some, I two faces. The one I let my wife, family, friends and the rest of the world see. And the other is my true face. I have been for as far back through my childhood as I can remember, an addict of SEX and the female form. Fast forward several decades later, I am a split personality. Like one fellows post on here, everyone that knows me thinks I'm a super nice guy with good morals, when actually I'll binge on porn for days then when I can't get hard for that, I'll hatch an elaborate scheme and try to find an escort locally. I'll then time when my wife leaves for and when I need to be at work to try and get a morning session in. Half the time it's a disaster and I usually end up leaving without cumming. That's when the fear sets in what if that girl tries the blackmail me. Did I catch something and here's my favorite, what if that girl somehow dies soon after and my number is the last one in her phone. I have racked up thousands of $$ spending money I didn't have and pretty much killed my sex life at home. My wife is a beautiful and wonderful person. She doesn't deserve that. I have been trying to quit this hobby for the last couple of years now. I'm so de-sensitized now. I wish I could somehow rekindle my sex life with my awesome wife without having to pop ED pills every time. It feels really good to write this out for people to read. So is there anyone on here that has beat this addiction? And are you able to have a normal sex life? Thanks guys.

[Dj Hunter]

Hey guys. Like many of you, I can't believe there is a thread for this. Also like some, I two faces. The one I let my wife, family, friends and the rest of the world see. And the other is my true face. I have been for as far back through my childhood as I can remember, an addict of SEX and the female form. Fast forward several decades later, I am a split personality. Like one fellows post on here, everyone that knows me thinks I'm a super nice guy with good morals, when actually I'll binge on porn for days then when I can't get hard for that, I'll hatch an elaborate scheme and try to find an escort locally. I'll then time when my wife leaves for and when I need to be at work to try and get a morning session in. Half the time it's a disaster and I usually end up leaving without cumming. That's when the fear sets in what if that girl tries the blackmail me. Did I catch something and here's my favorite, what if that girl somehow dies soon after and my number is the last one in her phone. I have racked up thousands of $$ spending money I didn't have and pretty much killed my sex life at home. My wife is a beautiful and wonderful person. She doesn't deserve that. I have been trying to quit this hobby for the last couple of years now. I'm so de-sensitized now. I wish I could somehow rekindle my sex life with my awesome wife without having to pop ED pills every time. It feels really good to write this out for people to read. So is there anyone on here that has beat this addiction? And are you able to have a normal sex life? Thanks guys.I can relate to the feeling of having "two faces". Most people consider me an easy-going, mild mannered family man. Meanwhile, I've stepped away from my family on countless occasions to fuck a drug addict raw in a seedy motel room. Opportunity is also one of the influencing factors. Wife is away? I'm going to find an escort to fuck and deal with the emotional consequences later. Thankfully, I've been able to keep myself away from partaking over the past eight months but it's been a lot of work. Therapy and journaling have been very helpful. The unfortunate reality, though, is that you're not likely to find any fully recovered people on here. This forum is way too triggering for anyone in serious recovery. I don't consider myself in serious recovery yet, as I feel I still have one foot in and one foot out. But I know enough about the reality of what I'm doing that it ultimately keeps me from partaking. I also use porn if my desires are too strong. If you can step away from porn and this hobby for at least a week, with no wacking it during that time, assuming you're healthy your desire for your wife will come back. But you have to re-wire your brain.

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

I can relate to the feeling of having "two faces". Most people consider me an easy-going, mild mannered family man. Meanwhile, I've stepped away from my family on countless occasions to fuck a drug addict raw in a seedy motel room. Opportunity is also one of the influencing factors. Wife is away? I'm going to find an escort to fuck and deal with the emotional consequences later. Thankfully, I've been able to keep myself away from partaking over the past eight months but it's been a lot of work. Therapy and journaling have been very helpful. The unfortunate reality, though, is that you're not likely to find any fully recovered people on here. This forum is way too triggering for anyone in serious recovery. I don't consider myself in serious recovery yet, as I feel I still have one foot in and one foot out. But I know enough about the reality of what I'm doing that it ultimately keeps me from partaking. I also use porn if my desires are too strong. If you can step away from porn and this hobby for at least a week, with no wacking it during that time, assuming you're healthy your desire for your wife will come back. But you have to re-wire your brain.I can relate to having "two faces. " People would be shocked to find out about this other side of me.

Not sure what to do, though. Have had a dead bedroom at home for years. I have no desire to rekindle it. I rarely have realistic options for a side piece that's not from the hobby. It's been so long since I had sex outside the hobby that it would feel really strange if it did happen.

I have wondered whether one reason I can't attract a side piece in everyday life is I give off a certain vibe as a result of dumpster diving in the hobby. In other words, women can sense I live some kind of double life. Spending some serious time away from the hobby, porn, whacking off, everything could only help.

[MrHardBody]

I have wondered whether one reason I can't attract a side piece in everyday life is I give off a certain vibe as a result of dumpster diving in the hobby. In other words, women can sense I live some kind of double life.No. I think you're fine. I read a headline that stated American is in a sex recession. I laughed because it's true. You can thank social media and the #Metoo Movement of this. Facebook, for one, is filled with women who have unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships. What they want in a man simply doesn't exist.

I don't speak to women unless they speak to me first. I'm not taking a chance of sexual harassment because I've read about it and seen it happen in real life. It'd like to, but I don't want them to think I want them. Pre MeToo and social media, you could talk to women easily. Nowadays, the mood is completely different in a bad way.

Technology and bullshit has changed the way we interact with one another.

[BSouthgate]

The story.

Joe had serial girlfriends in college. He would keep one for six months, break up, and find another when the former was not perfect. Sometimes, his relationships overlapped. He had to keep them separate or lose them both.

After graduation, Joe worked in an office. He met a female colleague whom he found attractive and fun. She had had several sex partners in college, liked sex, and was good in bed. Joe and Sue tied the knot. For the first year, they only had eyes for each other. Their first child was born. Sue started losing interest in lovemaking. Joe had to take week-long business trips to different cities. Lonely nights in hotel rooms became unbearable. He turned to porn. An old friend told him about hand job MPs. He found this new experience delightful. Of course, he could not tell Sue. Once, a masseuse offered oral sex. Wow! Better than Sue's mouth. Soon, he was frequenting escorts and FS parlors a few times per month. He did not have to bother Sue so much. She was busy with the baby.

This is NOT sex addiction. This is normal. Human beings are naturally polyamorous. They naturally prefer more than one partner. Joe and Sue were polyamorous in college. Joe is still practising polyamory. Sue would also have more partners if she had the opportunity. She is now busy being a mother. But when the child is away in college, Sue will also long for sex with other men. And she may very well achieve fulfilment of those fantasies.

The problem is not addiction. The problem is the aberration of monogamous marriage. The problem is dishonesty.

[DaveSalem]

The story.

Joe had serial girlfriends in college. He would keep one for six months, break up, and find another when the former was not perfect. Sometimes, his relationships overlapped. He had to keep them separate or lose them both.

After graduation, Joe worked in an office. He met a female colleague whom he found attractive and fun. She had had several sex partners in college, liked sex, and was good in bed. Joe and Sue tied the knot. For the first year, they only had eyes for each other. Their first child was born. Sue started losing interest in lovemaking. Joe had to take week-long business trips to different cities. Lonely nights in hotel rooms became unbearable. He turned to porn. An old friend told him about hand job MPs. He found this new experience delightful. Of course, he could not tell Sue. Once, a masseuse offered oral sex. Wow! Better than Sue's mouth. Soon, he was frequenting escorts and FS parlors a few times per month. He did not have to bother Sue so much. She was busy with the baby.

This is NOT sex addiction. This is normal. Human beings are naturally polyamorous. They naturally prefer more than one partner. Joe and Sue were polyamorous in college. Joe is still practising polyamory. Sue would also have more partners if she had the opportunity.That is a great story, and mirrors my life in a way, except that she would never step out. Thank you for justifying "this" as normal male behavior. Bottom line is that Monogamy is unrealistic and basically bullshit (for many of us).

[BSouthgate]

That is a great story, and mirrors my life in a way, except that she would never step out. Thank you for justifying "this" as normal male behavior. Bottom line is that Monogamy is unrealistic and basically bullshit (for many of us).Monogamy (sex with one partner) is unrealistic and bullshit for many of us. For others, it may work.

Polyamory is not sick; it is not "addiction" like in the title of this thread. Spiritual and intellectual fascination with sex is natural and the basis of much art and literature. Michelangelo is said to have frequent pros. He may also have had multiple male partners. No doubt, his sexual encounter inspired his sensuous paintings on the Sistine Chapel walls and elsewhere.

[BSouthgate]

Reading many of the posts below, one gets the impression that many men are making themselves miserable because they are essentially normal.

It is normal to desire lots of sex with multiple partners. Most of our brains are wired to try to have as many satisfying sexual experiences as possible.

1. We, men and women, have different natural levels of desire or libido. Some men and women are horny every day whenever they are awake. Some get horny only once per week. Others once per month, and some never. No libido level makes you abnormal. So stop feeling guilty because you think about sex all of the time or because you never think about it.

2. Most men and women, during their lives, desire sex with more than one partner. That is called polyamory, not addiction. It is normal. It is just as normal to, throughout life, desire sex with only one person or with nobody. Participating in a marriage ceremony does not remove the desire for multiple partners. Neither do weddings make an asexual person with no desire for lovemaking suddenly want to fuck with their spouse. After marriage, naturally polyamorous people will either seek out other partners or suffer from guilt, anxiety, and depression. Naturally, asexual people will suffer undeserved guilt because they blame themselves for their lack of desire.

3. The problems that many identify as "symptoms" of sex addiction are due to erroneous decisions people make, which decisions do not include having sex with multiple partners. These errors include dishonesty with one's spouse, spending too much of one's wealth or income for sexual pleasure, and careless and unsafe sexual practices. Prosecutions for soliciting are not due to the fault of the polyamorous person but rather due to social sickness, that is, illegality of sexual practices of prostitution and, in some countries, of infidelity.

4. There are ways to address overspending on sex. One can simply limit the number of encounters or spend less on each encounter. These methods of mitigating overspending will work whether the partners are pros or not. For pros, limit visits to the massage parlor to once per week or once per month. Or, you can go to a less expensive parlor. This is no different than how you limit spending on vacations or golf or other things you enjoy. For casual lovers, limit gifts that you buy or expensive hotel rooms that you rent.

5. Addressing the problem of dishonesty is the most difficult. Remember that the problem is dishonesty, not infidelity. If you are married and your spouse is demanding celibacy outside of her / his bed, you should never have made the promise that you can do that. You should have been honest with yourself and with her from the beginning. Similarly, if you cannot tell your husband that you are trysting with your coworkers or with gigolos, your mistake was made when you failed to tell him that you are naturally polyamorous. There are two ethical ways to address the problem of dishonesty. The first is to tell your spouse that you are naturally polyamorous, that you cannot and do not want to change your nature, and that you want to work this out with him or her. The second way is to stop all sex at home and understand that you must be careful not to let him / her know. The second way will separate the relationships in your life: spiritual with your marriage partner and sexual with others. You must decide which path to take.

6. Always practice safe sex if you are polyamorous. With your spouse or with others. Always.

Surely many here will disagree with the above. If you disagree, let us dialogue in this thread.