Massage Parlor Reports

[Memphis5]

I agree SweetBug. The idea of some chump lurking in the message board weeds to try and police an HJ is a world class monstrosity.

I sample many of the well known providers from this site and BP. Mostly hit or miss with me. I know if I go to an AMP I will leave happy, satisfied, relaxed, and not smelling like smoke or worried about other issues or drama.

[BossHawg]

It depends on her skill. Several experienced girls, Koreans, have given me me fantastic HJ; actually, it felt much better than FS afterwards. You may change your mind when you find a girl having a great HJ skill. She may use a nice gel during HJ. Importantly, your imagination is essential in a dark room. You may receive HJ in a bright room from anyone in Memphis massage places. Imo.

I agree SweetBug. The idea of some chump lurking in the message board weeds to try and police an HJ is a world class monstrosity.

[BossHawg]

This is where I see it differently. In regard to massages, I have no interest in being covered in some draconian, monastery bed sheet like a cadaver without the toe tag.

I don't like being made to feel like a human burrito. That sh** is boring to me! It feels like it is straight out of the Dark Ages.

This is why I prefer the AMP. Even without the so-called happy ending, being covered with a towel is adequate enough. I don't need to be mummified in some goofy bed sheet to appease the whims of some Frankenstein morality mob led by a merry band of self-indulged, hypocritical, donut eating, political hacks.

Not everything can always be about getting some puzzy. To me, this is about the sad reality of how far or how not so far we have come since "The Scarlet Letter" or the Salem witch trials.

It's the idea that it is okay to show female breasts as long as you cover the nipples. In other words, don't do a Janet Jackson.

Way to go Corky!

So if I can get a decent massage without being buried in some "the world is flat" mentality linens, I'll take the AMPs all day long.

[Tony Vegas]

=============================================

Gents,

If you guys want to discuss traveling to international destinations to get laid, why don't you visit my International Sex Guide forum at:

http://www.internationalsexguide.info

Thanks,

Jackson

[SweetBug]

Sorry have to disagree. I'm married and I'm not looking for FS or to bang some doped out skank. I don't have a problem with anyone who does, it's just not my thing. I do like to get a great, professional massage and then have a nice finish. What's wrong with that? Nothing in my opinion. I'm not talking about the escorts posing as LMT's who see you in a hotel on a bed and offer a 2 minute back rub and then jerk you off for $150. Sorry but I see nothing wrong with finding someone who gives a professional massage and then a HJ at the end for a reasonable price.

Now actually finding someone who can do that, well. That's another thing.

It depends on her skill. Several experienced girls, Koreans, have given me me fantastic HJ; actually, it felt much better than FS afterwards. You may change your mind when you find a girl having a great HJ skill. She may use a nice gel during HJ. Importantly, your imagination is essential in a dark room. You may receive HJ in a bright room from anyone in Memphis massage places. Imo.

[Duke68]

I have conststently what a total fucking time massages are. I don't understand why and no one has given me an answer that passes the straight test. You're better off getting your did to lick your balls. At least your dog won't up sell.

Sorry have to disagree. I'm married and I'm not looking for FS or to bang some doped out skank. I don't have a problem with anyone who does, it's just not my thing. I do like to get a great, professional massage and then have a nice finish. What's wrong with that? Nothing in my opinion. I'm not talking about the escorts posing as LMT's who see you in a hotel on a bed and offer a 2 minute back rub and then jerk you off for $150. Sorry but I see nothing wrong with finding someone who gives a professional massage and then a HJ at the end for a reasonable price.

Now actually finding someone who can do that, well. That's another thing.

[DaddyDave47]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was redacted or deleted to remove sections of the report that were largely argumentative. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. Thank You!

[Glockman]

"Massage" has always been a shady term that allows bad service, disappointment, and upselling. I look at it as two separate industries - (a) Real massage, that you get at a spa by a licensed professional, and (b) storefront covers for sexual services. Since this is USA Sexguide, obviously only massage that involves sexual services are relevant to the discussion. If I want an actual massage, I can get a damn good one at a reputable place for around $80 bucks (less if I buy a groupon). Having said that, ANY place that advertises massage on here, backpage, CL, exc, that charges anywhere at or over the $80 I can get a legit massage for better include extras. Fukkck the hit or miss, maybe I can tip even more to get a hand job from an ugly older chick bullsisit. Massage parlors in the US are a complete waste of time, and are overpriced accomplices to lazy skanck biatches that are trying to do the least amount for the most money. I get so tired of guys posting how excited they are that they maybe can get an extra if they become a known regular and tip well. If that description fits, then know beyond any doubt you are being robbed, and are also the worst kind of mongering noob alive. You are the prey, not the predator. Just to prove my point, today I used my cockk to totally destroy one of our well known, respected providers. It was goddamn incredible, and cost me $80 bucks. Then I drove to lifetime fitness in Collierville, paid $65 for an awesome, totally legit 50 minute massage from a pretty hot chick. I got a great massage and hella good puzzy for $145 total. Compare that to the $200 plus that I read suckers posting about in this thread all the time and you will see my point. Mongers here are throwing money and tips at substandard performing women and still not getting what they are wanting! To hell with Tokyo, Q, suzie rottencrotch and all those other fake ass places. This thread is a waste of bandwith. Please brothers, mongers should not encourage mongers to be victims. Be the damn predator... own the bitches instead of being the biatch!

I have conststently what a total fucking time massages are. I don't understand why and no one has given me an answer that passes the straight test. You're better off getting your did to lick your balls. At least your dog won't up sell.

[Uncle41]

"Massage" has always been a shady term that allows bad service, disappointment, and upselling. I look at it as two separate industries - (a) Real massage, that you get at a spa by a licensed professional, and (b) storefront covers for sexual services. Since this is USA Sexguide, obviously only massage that involves sexual services are relevant to the discussion. If I want an actual massage, I can get a damn good one at a reputable place for around $80 bucks (less if I buy a groupon). Having said that, ANY place that advertises massage on here, backpage, CL, exc, that charges anywhere at or over the $80 I can get a legit massage for better include extras. Fukkck the hit or miss, maybe I can tip even more to get a hand job from an ugly older chick bullsisit. Massage parlors in the US are a complete waste of time, and are overpriced accomplices to lazy skanck biatches that are trying to do the least amount for the most money. I get so tired of guys posting how excited they are that they maybe can get an extra if they become a known regular and tip well. If that description fits, then know beyond any doubt you are being robbed, and are also the worst kind of mongering noob alive. You are the prey, not the predator. Just to prove my point, today I used my cockk to totally destroy one of our well known, respected providers. It was goddamn incredible, and cost me $80 bucks. Then I drove to lifetime fitness in Collierville, paid $65 for an awesome, totally legit 50 minute massage from a pretty hot chick. I got a great massage and hella good puzzy for $145 total. Compare that to the $200 plus that I read suckers posting about in this thread all the time and you will see my point. Mongers here are throwing money and tips at substandard performing women and still not getting what they are wanting! To hell with Tokyo, Q, suzie rottencrotch and all those other fake ass places. This thread is a waste of bandwith. Please brothers, mongers should not encourage mongers to be victims. Be the damn predator... own the bitches instead of being the biatch!

Now that was a wonderful post. Tell it. Get in or get out.

[BossHawg]

http://memphis.backpage.com/Therapeu...women/13872748

I have two experiences to talk about here. Number one, I went to see Sierra and her quote, unquote "manscaping" operation, and I must say that I was thoroughly impressed and pleased with the process and the result.

I know this is not a massage, but it did feel great. I often manscape myself periodically, but it was much nicer to have someone else do it for me this time.

She removed all of the hair from my Sasquatch back, my caveman butt, my Buckwheat underarms, my peach fuzz chest, my Al Bundy nose hairs, and my Grizzly Adams face. So if you have unwanted hairs, REGARDLESS of what region, this Bud may be for you.

And the last time I checked, you don't need an act of Congress or some heavenly permission from some holy rolling, Bible thumping, wannabe Puritan to be groomed via hair removal. And yes, this is strictly about the act of hair removal and not an inch beyond.

Now if that offends uncle jerk off, tough turds Corky!

Number two, after my manscaping venture, I revisited my old stomping grounds, Tokyo Spa, and my experience was mixed. I had a lady that called herself PP, and she was actually a pretty good masseuse. She walked on my back, and it felt good.

Also, the table shower was magnificent in terms of water and comfort. It was a very relaxing experience therapeutically speaking. Unfortunately, therapeutic is the only speaking that was done and not an inch beyond.

Now allow me to digress for a minute and show you how impractically and how unserviceably inept the United States as a whole truly is.

About six months ago, I went to an AMP in Little Rock, Arkansas. I think it was the one on Chenel Ave. As I was getting ready for the table shower, this little, Asian lady made me disrobe (nude) and put on some disposable shorts.

She then proceeds to hose me down and wash me in my crappy shorts. And unbelievably throughout the process, she grabs the front of my ridiculous shorts and pulls them up exposing the Cyclops and hoses it down thoroughly.

So I guess it was okay for her to see it, as long as it was laughably behind a pair of derisible shorts. And to think, we as taxpayers pay chimps and chumps to come up with such Dark Age, "Forrest Gump," draconian, overreaching buffoonery.

I am depressed!

This manscraping thing is about HAIR REMOVAL ONLY, nothing more. That's it. This is a therapeutic experience.

[Banger Hard]

The massage business is always tricky. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you roll snake eyes, but nothing compares to the giddy anticipation that you get as you are about to go in for one.

"Massage" has always been a shady term that allows bad service, disappointment, and upselling. I look at it as two separate industries - (a) Real massage, that you get at a spa by a licensed professional, and (b) storefront covers for sexual services. Since this is USA Sexguide, obviously only massage that involves sexual services are relevant to the discussion. If I want an actual massage, I can get a damn good one at a reputable place for around $80 bucks (less if I buy a groupon). Having said that, ANY place that advertises massage on here, backpage, CL, exc, that charges anywhere at or over the $80 I can get a legit massage for better include extras. Fukkck the hit or miss, maybe I can tip even more to get a hand job from an ugly older chick bullsisit. Massage parlors in the US are a complete waste of time, and are overpriced accomplices to lazy skanck biatches that are trying to do the least amount for the most money. I get so tired of guys posting how excited they are that they maybe can get an extra if they become a known regular and tip well. If that description fits, then know beyond any doubt you are being robbed, and are also the worst kind of mongering noob alive. You are the prey, not the predator. Just to prove my point, today I used my cockk to totally destroy one of our well known, respected providers. It was goddamn incredible, and cost me $80 bucks. Then I drove to lifetime fitness in Collierville, paid $65 for an awesome, totally legit 50 minute massage from a pretty hot chick. I got a great massage and hella good puzzy for $145 total. Compare that to the $200 plus that I read suckers posting about in this thread all the time and you will see my point. Mongers here are throwing money and tips at substandard performing women and still not getting what they are wanting! To hell with Tokyo, Q, suzie rottencrotch and all those other fake ass places. This thread is a waste of bandwith. Please brothers, mongers should not encourage mongers to be victims. Be the damn predator... own the bitches instead of being the biatch!

[Racer 250]

The massage business is always tricky. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you roll snake eyes, but nothing compares to the giddy anticipation that you get as you are about to go in for one.

To me, those that are in the massage business need to be at least fairly decent at the craft, and that is certainly not always the case, not even close!

So within the past two weeks I have gone back and revisited my old stomping grounds in Tokyo and the Q. It was just like old times, well almost kind of sort of.

So speaking purely on the craft of massage in its purest form, I must say that both ladies at the Q and at Tokyo gave some pretty darn good massages.

The lady at Tokyo walked on my back and table showered me very well with nice, warm, steamy water.

And, this past weekend, the lady at the Q did the exact same thing. She used her knees on my back, and it felt good. She also gave me a really nice table shower.

At this point in my life, if that is all that I receive, I can live with that. What I cannot live with are some of these hideous body rubs from the escort section.

One lady tried to charge me $200 for a body rub in some roach motel where they lay you on the bed and rub you a few times. I declined and went Asia.

Someone posted here recently that they cannot find what they are looking for here in Memphis via massages, and I totally agree. In fact, I am tired of looking.

What I want now is satisfactory service, at least therapeutically satisfactory service. If happy ending #1 is out of the question, then at least be therapeutically up to par.

To quote the great hair band Poison: "Give me something to believe in. ".

Now I am sure that Uncle Barney / Uncle jerk-off / Uncle hypocrite is somewhere singing Kum Ba Ya in a Deputy Dawg choir reading this because they think they are saving me from myself.

But what I want to know is who is going to end the mass murder of thousands of innocent donuts, Dunkin Donuts around this city?

Plenty of happy, glazed endings being consumed there.

I couldn't agree more BH! Matter of fact since Chrissy went off the radar I haven't made any moves. I'd pay decent money to have service like she provided in Midtown. Hell I PAID good money for that service way out in Cordova! I was a Tokyo regular for quite some time between 04 and roughly 07. Even paid a few visits to Yoko's as it was on its way out. Believe it or not I actually got FS at Tokyo years ago. It's was somewhat of an "accident" since she had oiled up her legs and Mr. Jimmy was swimming between them but then uh oh. That feels a little different. She let me finish up that way! Those were the days. I'm always in search of another Chrissy and whenever Danni from LA comes back to town I certainly make it a priority to see her. She has always done me right. Memphis is definitely behind the curve when it comes to a good massage with quality endings. I too would like to see it change so I have more to add to the board. Massage is my thing..

R2.

[BossHawg]

The massage business is always tricky. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you roll snake eyes, but nothing compares to the giddy anticipation that you get as you are about to go in for one.

To me, those that are in the massage business need to be at least fairly decent at the craft, and that is certainly not always the case, not even close!

So within the past two weeks I have gone back and revisited my old stomping grounds in Tokyo and the Q. It was just like old times, well almost kind of sort of.

So speaking purely on the craft of massage in its purest form, I must say that both ladies at the Q and at Tokyo gave some pretty darn good massages.

The lady at Tokyo walked on my back and table showered me very well with nice, warm, steamy water.

And, this past weekend, the lady at the Q did the exact same thing. She used her knees on my back, and it felt good. She also gave me a really nice table shower.

At this point in my life, if that is all that I receive, I can live with that. What I cannot live with are some of these hideous body rubs from the escort section.

One lady tried to charge me $200 for a body rub in some roach motel where they lay you on the bed and rub you a few times. I declined and went Asia.

Someone posted here recently that they cannot find what they are looking for here in Memphis via massages, and I totally agree. In fact, I am tired of looking.

What I want now is satisfactory service, at least therapeutically satisfactory service. If happy ending #1 is out of the question, then at least be therapeutically up to par.

To quote the great hair band Poison: "Give me something to believe in. ".

Now I am sure that Uncle Barney / Uncle jerk-off / Uncle hypocrite is somewhere singing Kum Ba Ya in a Deputy Dawg choir reading this because they think they are saving me from myself.

But what I want to know is who is going to end the mass murder of thousands of innocent donuts, Dunkin Donuts around this city?

Plenty of happy, glazed endings being consumed there.

[Spoonful]

Ok. What is the story with this one? Looks TGTBT. Anybody have any feedback? Pm is fine. Thanks!

http://memphis.backpage.com/BodyRubs...tment/14675761

One of the other members stated that Jordan / Peaches doing the advertising as Kristen. I guess you can call if you want to see Jordan but it won't be the girl in the pics.

[TidePride]

Ok. What is the story with this one? Looks TGTBT. Anybody have any feedback? Pm is fine. Thanks!

http://memphis.backpage.com/BodyRubs...tment/14675761

I'm with you Tabs. Seen her advertising but don't recall seeing any reviews. Seems like a chick this hot would've hot the board in a frenzy if she was real and provided good service.