Escort Reports

[LoveLOS]

Is that you, Robux?

Larry!

Naw, Robie doesn't have that nice a pair of mams...

BTW Red,
Congrads on 100! Why are you still a Regular member?

LL

[Big Red50]

OUCH!

Isn't "Pffft" the sound when human skin makes when it comes in contact with the nozzle of a flamethrower?

Ye are a true student of Trashman, with the arrogance of LoveLOS. Too bad Robux has not rubbed off on you.

Thank you for the intel on Lila.

LL

Hey LL,

Here is a USMC M2-2 Flamethrower to go along with Pffft, if this forum gets streaming video we can have sound and image for the toads that desperately need to be flamed.

Lila is one Hot Russian, she loves anal and BBBJCIM, a little pricy now, her rates have gone up.

Just doing my part

Big Red

[Larry 56]

All tied up with you now. Wish you were here....

Is that you, Robux?


Larry!

[LoveLOS]

LL on the prowl. Call me.

The resulting reports...
AMP
TBWNN

[Roamin Roman]

Yes, but isn't learning to type in THIS forum supposed to be a cure for "repetative motion disorders"...or at least one of 'em?

Have fun at the Forum
R::R

*** Caution, typing may be required and is known by the state of California and other moronic localities to cause carpel tunnel and other repetative motion disorders,...

[LoveLOS]

BSR, That was precious. I decided that an appendix to your fine work would be a re-posting of a 2004 report I made about learning to use USG or ISG as a tool to find women for sex. As you have done, the post is couched in sarcasm, but contains genuine nuts-and-bolts how-to information.

I have modified the original to work correctly with the new forum format...

Tip #1 - How to search for specific information on USG/ISG:
1. On your left, you will see a list of links, one of them is "Forum".
2. It is simple enough that even a lurker can learn to use it.
3. Click on the "advanced search tab" and enter your search terms, date of post timeframe, forums to search.
4.Under the "Show Results as *Threads *Reports" Be sure to click on the "Reports" radio button. Using the default threads yeilds just the correct forum to read, not the results your lazy ass is looking for...
5. Learn to use it - {{ *** Caution, typing may be required and is known by the state of California and other moronic localities to cause carpel tunnel and other repetative motion disorders, but again, those who post have probably learned to master the keyboard and, therefore; are in more danger than a lurker}}.

Tip #2 - How to RTFF:
When learning about an area you want to know about on USG/ISG, first choose the appropriate forum. ex: USASexGuide > States & Cities > Washington DC > DC-All Topics > Escort Reports to learn about escorts in the DC area.

*note - many topics do not change much over time, including some of the basic how to tutorials on AMPing, things to/not-to to say to a cop/hooker/or mamasan, addresses of AMPs, the locations of major stolls, and fun reading such as party reports. When interested in these subjects I recommend including the 2000-2004 Archived Reports and the annual archived reports for 2005, 2006, etc. USG/ISG represents a major body of information. Jackson has started using a Reports of Distinction thread on ISG provides links to some of the more informative reports in an area. I will be starting a similar thread in DC and suggest others do so in NoVA and Balmer.

1. Look in the upper-right hand and/or lower-right hand corner locate on the page that has reports on it for the link labeled "Last »". This link is usually just to the right of a bunch of numbers in numerical order--they are actually pages of reports (about 15 reports per page) that you need to understand.
2. Click on that link.
3. Starting at the post at the bottom of the page, read each one until you reach the top of the page.
4. At the top of the page, your current page number will be listed. ex: "Page 15 of 15" and the number corresponding to that page will be in black, as opposed to blue.
5. Just to the left of that number is a blue link with a number that is numerically one less than the current page number.
6. Click on that link.
7. Repeat steps three (3) thru six (6) until the page guide reads "Page 1 of nn," the nn being the number of pages in the forum, as previously discussed.
8. If you are able to read and comprehend with the skill of an average adult (which you had damned well better be if you are reading this shit), you should now have the sum of all coprorate knowledge available on WSG.
9. At this point, you probably can go get laid and then post reports about your exploits.
10. At this point, if you have advanced questions not covered already, you can start asking questions...

LoveLOS

[Big Red50]

Introducing yourself as a Senior from ISG probably wouldn't have been the dumbest thing to do you know... before you started begging for help like a newbie.

All I am saying is that you're lazy. In fact, you've said it yourself.

To each his own indeed.

If you weren't a Senior at ISG I wouldn't have even bothered responding, but in the interests of inter-forum congeniality (I am a senior over there too, and you can thank LoveLOS for giving me shit over Street Walkin Cheetah's being a bonafide Senior Member) I will lead you to your desired destination by way of example but I warn you now, I am a pedantic son of a b*tch: And just in case anyone over on this side of the Gulf Stream thinks that I may be going soft, consider this a backhanded but genuine apology to a Senior Member as much as it is, if not moreso, a primer on how to RTFF for the newbies who desperately need to learn that although we are able to answer their questions, that they are perfectly capable of performing the most minimal amount of research, reporting on their exploits and avoid the .45 caliber flamethrower.

How to RTFF
A Primer by Benchseats Rock

In this case it is pretty damn easy, being that the seminal (pun intended) report from BigRed50 (who is doing damn well for a newbie I might add) is chock full of information to work with.

Now even though there are mentions of two sites in the report that have reviews of Lila, and you could just go to either one of them and read the reviews and get her information that way, let’s assume for a moment that the report conformed to the guidelines of this forum and these two sites were never mentioned to begin with. And/or, you’ve never heard of them in the first place and the abbreviations meant nothing to you anyway. Maybe you're from out of town. I suspect that this may indeed be the case, but as I am about to demonstrate, it doesn’t really matter.

So from the report (with pics!!) we now know that Lila is an escort in D.C., costs a lot of money and loves anal. And that she is Russian. And that we want to fuck her little euro ass all the way into next week, and that she’ll probably let you and like it.

How on earth do we find information in this miraculous age of computing power and the interwebs and the internets – an age in society that is perhaps most notably identified by the entry of the word Google into the Oxford English Dictionary. Wait a minute, did I just say Google? Aha!!!! Of course!!! Google!!!! The ultimate search engine on the planet for finding out information on just about everything you’d ever want to know. And now that we have reminded ourselves about Google.com, let’s plug in what we would like to know more about, shall we?

We want to know more about Lila, who is an escort in DC. So we enter into google:

“Lila, Escort, Washington”

You’ll notice that a whole bunch of gobbledegook comes up, but it is numerically sorted gobbledegook. Let's have a look at the first few results: could it be Number 1? Nope. Number 2? Book shit. Number 3? Not even close. It's just more of the same bookshit. Number 4? Hmmm..... I think we have a winner. Well hot damn! Number 4 looks pretty good. It does at least on my screen, and by now it should be pretty apparent that you’ve discovered a potential link to the woman currently occupying the obsessive-must-have-can’t-think-clearly portion of your head. Let’s click on that link for good old number 4 and hope that we don’t get shanghaied by Google – it happens sometimes, but they’re getting better. Let’s see here, not 1, not 2, scroll down a bit with me, not 3, ahh…. Here it is! Link #4. Bingo!! By Jove, I think He’s got it! Bob’s your uncle. Huzzah.

Now you are in possession of everything you were looking for, know everything you wanted to know, and are fully prepared to seek out and enjoy the erstwhile Lila, and come back and report on your exploits here in the forum and reap the praise of your fellow mongering community and have pride that you are an educated monger, a resourceful and reliable monger, able to monger in a strange land with strange women despite any strange abbreviations, but remember that most of all, it’s about the strange.

Have fun, Stay Safe, Monger On, and always remember to RTFF,

Benchseats Rock

Hey Bench:

Thanks for the kind words, and all of your help getting the hang of this forum.

Just trying to do my part

Big Red

[Frank99]

Sometimes reading this forum is more exciting than getting a blow job...well...sorta.

[Benchseats Rock]

Okay, so DC's not my stomping ground.

Pardon the F*** outta me.

If you search a little further, you'll find 40 posts on ISG.

Maybe I can return the courtesy sometime.

Introducing yourself as a Senior from ISG probably wouldn't have been the dumbest thing to do you know... before you started begging for help like a newbie...

All I am saying is that you're lazy. In fact, you've said it yourself.

Everyone has different perspectives and tastes.
If I'm a "lazy monger" so be it, -but that's my choice.

To each his own.

To each his own indeed.

If you weren't a Senior at ISG I wouldn't have even bothered responding, but in the interests of inter-forum congeniality (I am a senior over there too, and you can thank LoveLOS for giving me shit over Street Walkin Cheetah's being a bonafide Senior Member) I will lead you to your desired destination by way of example but I warn you now, I am a pedantic son of a b*tch: And just in case anyone over on this side of the Gulf Stream thinks that I may be going soft, consider this a backhanded but genuine apology to a Senior Member as much as it is, if not moreso, a primer on how to RTFF for the newbies who desperately need to learn that although we are able to answer their questions, that they are perfectly capable of performing the most minimal amount of research, reporting on their exploits and avoid the .45 caliber flamethrower.




How to RTFF
A Primer by Benchseats Rock

In this case it is pretty damn easy, being that the seminal (pun intended) report from BigRed50 (who is doing damn well for a newbie I might add) is chock full of information to work with.

Lila last summer
Promised a Senior Member at the RT I would post info on Lila.

I have not seen her since last year, but this Russian woman is hot. Lila loves anal, all positions, CIM and multiples. She was $$.5/h, her rates have gone up some and she is widely reviewed on TER and TBD. I thought this forum should have a review also.

Need to monger in DC again.

Now even though there are mentions of two sites in the report that have reviews of Lila, and you could just go to either one of them and read the reviews and get her information that way, let’s assume for a moment that the report conformed to the guidelines of this forum and these two sites were never mentioned to begin with. And/or, you’ve never heard of them in the first place and the abbreviations meant nothing to you anyway. Maybe you're from out of town. I suspect that this may indeed be the case, but as I am about to demonstrate, it doesn’t really matter.

So from the report (with pics!!) we now know that Lila is an escort in D.C., costs a lot of money and loves anal. And that she is Russian. And that we want to fuck her little euro ass all the way into next week, and that she’ll probably let you and like it.

How on earth do we find information in this miraculous age of computing power and the interwebs and the internets – an age in society that is perhaps most notably identified by the entry of the word Google into the Oxford English Dictionary. Wait a minute, did I just say Google? Aha!!!! Of course!!! Google!!!! The ultimate search engine on the planet for finding out information on just about everything you’d ever want to know. And now that we have reminded ourselves about Google.com, let’s plug in what we would like to know more about, shall we?

We want to know more about Lila, who is an escort in DC. So we enter into google:

“Lila, Escort, Washington”

You’ll notice that a whole bunch of gobbledegook comes up, but it is numerically sorted gobbledegook. Let's have a look at the first few results: could it be Number 1? Nope. Number 2? Book shit. Number 3? Not even close. It's just more of the same bookshit. Number 4? Hmmm..... I think we have a winner. Well hot damn! Number 4 looks pretty good. It does at least on my screen, and by now it should be pretty apparent that you’ve discovered a potential link to the woman currently occupying the obsessive-must-have-can’t-think-clearly portion of your head. Let’s click on that link for good old number 4 and hope that we don’t get shanghaied by Google – it happens sometimes, but they’re getting better. Let’s see here, not 1, not 2, scroll down a bit with me, not 3, ahh…. Here it is! Link #4. Bingo!! By Jove, I think He’s got it! Bob’s your uncle. Huzzah.

Now you are in possession of everything you were looking for, know everything you wanted to know, and are fully prepared to seek out and enjoy the erstwhile Lila, and come back and report on your exploits here in the forum and reap the praise of your fellow mongering community and have pride that you are an educated monger, a resourceful and reliable monger, able to monger in a strange land with strange women despite any strange abbreviations, but remember that most of all, it’s about the strange.

Have fun, Stay Safe, Monger On, and always remember to RTFF,



Benchseats Rock

[LoveLOS]

These shouldn't get me more than my usual amount of hatemail though....
Benchseats Rock

You deserve it though...

[Benchseats Rock]

ROTFLMAO. Good one!

NOW I know why you don't do many trip reports. You obviously fear your escapades will offend sensibilities of the majority of the readers of this forum.

Rat bastard! I know you didn't paintshop that pic, so I wish I were there too... Do me a favor, give her a little extra pleasure with my compliments.

LoveLOS

and that is why they are called "Private" Messages...

Back in May I posted some other pics of the same girl who had just been spanked for being a naughty girl. I won't make the same mistake twice - I asked Jackson to delete them after 2 weeks of defending myself. These shouldn't get me more than my usual amount of hatemail though....


Benchseats Rock

[LoveLOS]

All tied up with you now. Wish you were here....

BSR

ROTFLMAO. Good one!

NOW I know why you don't do many trip reports. You obviously fear your escapades will offend sensibilities of the majority of the readers of this forum.

Rat bastard! I know you didn't paintshop that pic, so I wish I were there too... Do me a favor, give her a little extra pleasure with my compliments.

LoveLOS

and that is why they are called "Private" Messages...

[Benchseats Rock]

OUCH!
Isn't "Pffft" the sound when human skin makes when it comes in contact with the nozzle of a flamethrower?
Ye are a true student of Trashman, with the arrogance of LoveLOS. Too bad Robux has not rubbed off on you.

Thank you for the intel on Lila.

LL

Arrogance would have been posting my last PM to you about Lila. My only regret is that the Great One Himself isn't toasting this invertebrate himself.

Benchseats Rock

[Benchseats Rock]

All tied up with you now. Wish you were here....




BSR

[LoveLOS]

Pffft!

... moron who couldn't get laid in a Las Vegas with a fistfull of c-notes.

OUCH!
Isn't "Pffft" the sound when human skin makes when it comes in contact with the nozzle of a flamethrower?
Ye are a true student of Trashman, with the arrogance of LoveLOS. Too bad Robux has not rubbed off on you.

Thank you for the intel on Lila.

LL