"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[JZLizard]

The archives, much of the info you are seeking is found there. Our past dean of this thread JZLizard, doesn't seem to be around these days. It is important that everyone transition from an old, monger model to the new model for arrangements, and for SA, otherwise, SA will go the way of CL and BP, with attacks from activist district attorneys looking to make a name for themselves w / the a*hole holier-than-thou hypocrites.

Nah, I'm still around. I'm just writing less these days. And, I don't think I was ever the dean of anything.

I usually try to talk about aspects of the scene that either haven't been discussed or that I think I can contribute something new to. That gets harder and harder, as I've written a lot in this thread, and I think that aside from the posts that are indexed, most of it ends up buried in a pile of thousands of posts and read only by a few. It's just hard to find topics that haven't already been thoroughly covered.

[JustLonely]

Just got back on SA after a 3 month break. What happened to the text search box?

[Ernest Ll]

Why does a sb who, had 5-6 good fuck sessions w / me and told me she liked getting w / me all of a sudden just stop coming or talking / texting? I mean she is still on SA actively looking and I just don't get it, pisses me off, LOL.

Variety is the spice of life.

Might be looking for a better $/ orgasm ratio.

Total sexual reprobate.

You picked the wrong pastime to be judgy.

[Kwagmire]

Two ways you can do this:

There's a link to a guide to the "BBCode" system for formatting text way at the bottom of the pages on the site here. I think most of the BBCode features have been inactivated to keep the forum clean; a policy I personally really appreciate. It's the reason this forum is one of the easier ones to read on the internet. Please use responsibly.

http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/misc.php?do=bbcode

[Kwagmire]

I micro manage every aspect of my overall looks and health and you know what? Not only is it good for sugar dating, it's just good for overall health and well being.

I agree with this 100%, and it's definitely an area I need to work on. I transitioned from a fairly active job to one where I manage projects and people about 6 years ago in exchange for a lot more money. The inactivity, hours and constant stress that comes from the new gig has definitely taken its toll.

Thanks for the reminder. Time to hit the gym and take care of myself better.

[Cephlapod Love]

I don't know how to highlight one section of the quote here, but I responding to your part about cleaning up, staying in shape, etc. .

Two ways you can do this:

1) When you hit reply and the prior post shows up, just delete all of the text that is irrelevant. Make sure you DO NOT delete the stuff in square brackets! I can't show you that because the system has specific use for square brackets so they can not be typed, except when used "appropriately. " So I'll use { and } instead. So make sure everything at the beginning, stays there, that starts with "{QUOTE=" and ends with a number and "}". Then make sure at the END of what you want quoted there is this: {/ QUOTE}. Remember square brackets instead of { and }.

2) You can add bold inside of the quoted message by enclosing the text you want high lighted with {B} (at the beginning of the text) and at the end of the text {/ B}. Remember to replace the { and } brackets in my example with Square Brackets (next to the P on my keyboard).

If you hit a reply to this message you should be able to see the formatting for the bold added to the word "highlight"..

Hope that helps!

[GoneForDays]

Don't take it too hard, we all have to deal with the maturity thing. They just want to make the cash with the least amount of time expended.

She might just be using SA because he wants to communicate that way.

Why does a sb who, had 5-6 good fuck sessions w / me and told me she liked getting w / me all of a sudden just stop coming or talking / texting? I mean she is still on SA actively looking and I just don't get it, pisses me off, LOL.

[DirtyDeeds38]

Doc, thanks for such a detailed reply. There is a ton of great stuff in your post, and from what you wrote it's obvious I need to look at the whole sugar game a little differently. I'm going to start using pretty much everything you suggested. I underestimated the importance of avoiding the appearance of sugar being tied directly to sex (even though it really is), and enjoying the experience of dating itself. I'm too focused on being taken advantage of (because that's happened before), rather than having fun on the date.

I also like your idea about setting dates for 11 a or 5 p for the logistics of transitioning to dinner if she's impressive enough.

I'll check that book out. I got interested in psychology a few years ago while dating a woman who turned out to be borderline or NPD. Even after I sort of "figured her out" (to the extent possible) and setting boundaries that worked for me, and then ultimately splitting up with her because she insisted on constant drama and wasn't happy with a happy relationship, I am still fascinated by psychology.

True, the medium is the message.

I'm twice the age or more of the girls I'm going for, and I think men and women look at the sugar scene though their own lens. A lot of guys see an easy way to have sex quickly with the kind of women they otherwise would have a very hard time even meeting, much less going out with. Women see the dating aspect and imagine a very classy, wealthy, successful and well put together man, and in exchange for that they are willing to overlook the age gap to a larger degree.

So while I am successful, intelligent, classy and well mannered, I likely need to realize that I'm aging and focus on my attractiveness so you're right, I should work on my game and looks somewhat. I'm no where near "disgusting" but I could stand to lose a few and tighten up my presentation to help offset the age difference.

I'm seeing a theme in the replies here, and I probably need to concentrate on the dating aspect more than I have been. Build trust and try to create a vibe where we're both having fun.

I definitely don't use the "when the panties hit the floor" terminology with POTS, but I do like your line about starting allowance when she's comfortable enough for "alone time together. " I'll be stealing that one, thanks.

I don't know how to highlight one section of the quote here, but I responding to your part about cleaning up, staying in shape, etc. This is huge, as no younger girl wants to be pounded by an old obese slob, no offense to anyone. But facts are facts. I take this part of my game even further. I micro manage every aspect of my overall looks and health and you know what? Not only is it good for sugar dating, it's just good for overall health and well being. I basically bodybuild. I'm no pro, but could be a solid amateur bodybuilder. When I walk into meet these girls, they can tell, yes, I'm older, but to have my build, they know I have my shit together. I've had girls say they should be offering me allowance and a few probably meant it. I have little empathy for anyone who lets themselves totally go. So keep that in mind. My one vice that counters all this, is drinking. I do better with the girls when buzzed and loosened up, and since I'm dating them so much, I find myself having several drinks, multiple times per week and that has set me back. But drinking really helps me be more open as I can be a bit stiff without it.

My point is, if you're a 40 plus year old guy, get your hormones checked, get them in line and don; t just do some morning sit-ups and call it good, train your body, get in the best shape of you life and you'll do ten times better at this game. The girls will actually be into you! I speak from experience! And they best sex you can have with anyone, is someone having fun too and into it.

Two cents.

[Cephlapod Love]

I underestimated the importance of avoiding the appearance of sugar being tied directly to sex (even though it really is), and enjoying the experience of dating itself. I'm too focused on being taken advantage of (because that's happened before), rather than having fun on the date.

Yeah, don't want the SB to feel like an escort fwiw, even though essentially she is. PLUS, one needs to be careful of mentioning sugar and sex together or implying a connection while messaging on SA (run the risk of getting booted). Plus as we all know, offering anything of value for an understanding of sexual activities is illegal in all 50 states, except a few select NV counties (avoid those stings!

[Geechie Dan]

Is there an abbreviation / terminology link I can reference? Some of you guys are dropping abbreviations that leave me clueless. What's FC? What's POTS? PM (private message) me if preferred.

[FarFarAway]

The archives, much of the info you are seeking is found there. Our past dean of this thread JZLizard, doesn't seem to be around these days. It is important that everyone transition from an old, monger model to the new model for arrangements, and for SA, otherwise, SA will go the way of CL and BP, with attacks from activist district attorneys looking to make a name for themselves w / the a*hole holier-than-thou hypocrites.

[BagIt]

Why does a sb who, had 5-6 good fuck sessions w / me and told me she liked getting w / me all of a sudden just stop coming or talking / texting? I mean she is still on SA actively looking and I just don't get it, pisses me off, LOL.

[Kwagmire]

I follow a strict process, and when I follow it, it is almost obvious to them that they have to give sugar to get sugar. <snip>

Doc, thanks for such a detailed reply. There is a ton of great stuff in your post, and from what you wrote it's obvious I need to look at the whole sugar game a little differently. I'm going to start using pretty much everything you suggested. I underestimated the importance of avoiding the appearance of sugar being tied directly to sex (even though it really is), and enjoying the experience of dating itself. I'm too focused on being taken advantage of (because that's happened before), rather than having fun on the date.

I also like your idea about setting dates for 11 a or 5 p for the logistics of transitioning to dinner if she's impressive enough.

I'll check that book out. I got interested in psychology a few years ago while dating a woman who turned out to be borderline or NPD. Even after I sort of "figured her out" (to the extent possible) and setting boundaries that worked for me, and then ultimately splitting up with her because she insisted on constant drama and wasn't happy with a happy relationship, I am still fascinated by psychology.

Maybe you thought you hit it off but basically all three were not really into you and were just trying to milk you before moving on to their next target. Keep working on your game, develop a sense if she actually likes you, and keep getting more experience. She knows within seconds of meeting you if she's attracted to you or not. If she's not closing the deal within 1 or 2 dates, you have your answer... Just move on.

True, the medium is the message.

I'm twice the age or more of the girls I'm going for, and I think men and women look at the sugar scene though their own lens. A lot of guys see an easy way to have sex quickly with the kind of women they otherwise would have a very hard time even meeting, much less going out with. Women see the dating aspect and imagine a very classy, wealthy, successful and well put together man, and in exchange for that they are willing to overlook the age gap to a larger degree.

So while I am successful, intelligent, classy and well mannered, I likely need to realize that I'm aging and focus on my attractiveness so you're right, I should work on my game and looks somewhat. I'm no where near "disgusting" but I could stand to lose a few and tighten up my presentation to help offset the age difference.

I actually like the dating part, and I plan / tell them that a meet or 2 or 3 is usual for me before 'alone time'. Again I think this signals to the girl she's not a hooker in your eyes, you're trying to get to know her. As long as there's no sugar for those dates, it's fine. Laying the groundwork for laying the SB.

I'm seeing a theme in the replies here, and I probably need to concentrate on the dating aspect more than I have been. Build trust and try to create a vibe where we're both having fun.

I do not use any terms related to sex in any way as how I describe when the allowance occurs. I will tell them right up front, I never offer any allowance for a meet and greet. What I say, is that I start my allowance when she is comfortable enough to spend, "Alone time" together. Saying things like, "when panties hit the floor" etc could yield you issues.

<snip>

I actually like the dating part, and I plan / tell them that a meet or 2 or 3 is usual for me before 'alone time'. Again I think this signals to the girl she's not a hooker in your eyes, you're trying to get to know her. As long as there's no sugar for those dates, it's fine. Laying the groundwork for laying the SB.

I definitely don't use the "when the panties hit the floor" terminology with POTS, but I do like your line about starting allowance when she's comfortable enough for "alone time together. " I'll be stealing that one, thanks.

[S2568]

https://www.seekingarrangement.com/m...3-5caa8b6b17a9

Any information on her? Currently talking to her but her spproach for allowance and lists of "Don'ts" just turned me off!

Talking to her currently and she wants 450 to 500 per meet range, told her way more than what I can pay, waiting for reply. Will update.

Never pay over 250 for her age, I am used to younger which I did max of 350.

[GuyInTheCorner]

I think you all are overthinking this way too much. Most girls on SA that are legit know the deal. Weed out the ones that are scammers or platonic only and then have fun.