"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Assaholic]

As far as Weinstein, Cosby and similar -- there are two elements present in those cases that I doubt the typical SD needs to worry about. One is that the target of the witch-hunt was well-known and (previously) respected in the entertainment industry, and the other is that the sex related accusations resulted from abuse of power in professional situations (casting couch, "do you want this job or not', and so on). Both elements are critical; the male victim in these scenarios must be prominent enough such that the media has a strong motivation to publish stories that fuel the fire (or else the fire won't burn hot enough to spread), and the presence of career-pressure is crucial because it allows the female to position the story such that they never had the choice, and that the legal definition of sexual harassment is present. It also helps tremendously if the female in question is an aging celebrity with a career on the decline, because it brings attention her way (and an insatiable craving for attention is the only reason people go into show-business in the first place) and helps provide her a new career (campaigning as champion for a cause).

So, unless you're a well-known celebrity and are banging young girls that you have some professional involvement with, I wouldn't worry about random claims of the Weinstein type.

Pregnancy is one of the biggest (and costliest) risks that I think most SDs face, and of course there are ways around that. Since I don't like condoms have not had a vasectomy, and do sometimes cum inside them, my primary defense against this risk is to guard my anonymity as much as possible.

My gf lives with me, so bringing SBs to my home is not an option. If she did not, I would probably have various girls over multiple nights in any given week, but if they know where I live, I would no longer take the risk of unloading inside them, it would go in their mouth or I would just pull out and spray them.

My other tactic (which is controversial) is to quickly and move onto the next, never spending too much time with one. I usually cut out of the situation with some sort of short-term family emergency story or similar, then if they keep trying to stay in touch I just tell them I'm now involved with someone else. Sometimes I get a text from them 2-6 months after having cut them loose, where they will say they would just like to see me again, clarifying that no sugar or help is expected; sometimes it's very tempting, but I also wonder if there is more to the request -- perhaps they want another date so they can try to gather more info about my identity, etc? So I never take them up on that offer even if I would like to bang them again.

JL, I have tremendous respect for all your input and well-thought-out and well-written responses, but in this particular case, I may have to disagree.

1. Consider this hypothetical scenario: Two or more SBs, one of them pregnant, all coincidentally having hired the same lawyer, all come up with more or less the same story saying you made promises of finding a job or promised to hire them or otherwise help them with their, I don't know, pet sitting career, yourself or through friends. Then "lured" them into your love shack to discuss their "career", and before they knew it, you were on top pounding away. Not likely? Think again my friend. You get a female judge and an overzealous prosecutor and I think your case is sealed, whether you work in show business or not, especially if you have deep pockets. I don't know about you guys, but I personally never discuss $ or specifics over text or on a website or anything with an audit trail, because that can lead to other problems (solicitation, pandering, trafficking, FOSTA). I only discuss things in person. So this could easily turn into a "he said, she said" argument, except now there is your word against three.

I haven't yet pulled the trigger as far as self hosting, but before I do, I think I will take your advice and invest in a nanny cam. A couple actually. I'm not sure if that's 100% legal, but I would rather have it and not need it than not have it. And it looks like I will have to keep the recordings for many years. Crap!

2. The pull out method doesn't always work, from what I've heard and read. I have unloaded inside a few times when the girl said "don't worry, I'm on the pill" or "I have an IUD", but I'm still worried. I really, really don't want any junior assaholics out there crawling around on the rugs in someone's dilapidated ghetto apartment, but the temptation is sometimes so great that I just say ah fuck it, just this one time. So far I've been lucky, but I am fully aware that I'm walking on thin ice here.

I also believe one should not put too much faith in one's ability to remain completely anonymous. Case in point. As I've mentioned before, unlike most of you guys here, I never got much traction on SA, so I've branched out to alternative methods for finding SBs. Just the other day I got a match with a 20 year old on Tinder and she sends me a one-word message. That word was my real name. I have a rare name, so no way this was a coincidence. I replied, without confirming or denying that she was on the right track, but she ghosted me. WTF just happened? She did not look familiar to me at all. Took a screen shot, did an image search, did a FB search, IG search. Nothing came up. Now keep in mind that I'm in IT and security is in my DNA. My phone is a pay-as-you-go burner registered under a phony (NPI) name, phony address, paid with cash, Burner app loaded, the works. Google, Facebook, IG, GMail, Tinder, Bumble, all are under pseudonyms with zero ties to my real identity. My FB and Tinder profiles do have a real, but old picture of me with sunglasses, used nowhere else and it comes up empty under Tineye and Google Images. I do all my mongering activity on a separate, dedicated virtual computer which is used for nothing else and I never monger on my real PC or phone. Now you tell me, how in the F did this supposed bimbo figure out my real name? Thankfully, I'm single and self-employed, don't have deep pockets, and have no worries at all if I'm "exposed", but this incident gave me a real wake up call as to how un-anonymous we really are.

[RogerOver]

Pregnancy is one of the biggest (and costliest) risks that I think most SDs face, and of course there are ways around that. Since I don't like condoms have not had a vasectomy, and do sometimes cum inside them, my primary defense against this risk is to guard my anonymity as much as possible.

My bold on your comments for emphasis. I've seen a lot of guys say this. Question for the group: If you were reasonably sure that you had impregnated a girl and she's going to carry to term, would you be OK with just ducking out knowing you had a kid out there that probably didn't have the sort of opportunities you could provide? I mean, I get it's not ideal, but would you feel any responsibility for your offspring?

[JZLizard]

I've been on a bit of a break from the SB scene lately, but I, too, don't have an SO to worry about at home. I've tended to meet POTS out for coffee and a bit of conversation and if I get a feeling they're on the up and up, I've invited them back to mine. So far I've been a good judge of character that way, and everything's worked out.

On the handful of times I've felt a little iffy about someone, I've plopped my cell phone down on the dresser, set the audio recorder and then discreetly toss a pair of boxers over the phone. The dresser turns the phone into a great boundary mic, and everything is recorded quite clearly. After the date, I move the audio on the phone over to an encrypted hard drive for safe keeping. I live in a one-party consent state for in-person conversations, but even if that were not the case if the shit hit the fan I'd rather have a recording charge on my record than a sexual assault or rape charge.

One thing I do is take screenshots of their profile and save all photos. If the shit really hit the fan, if nothing else, having proof that she is embarking on meeting wealthy older men would allow one to play the "gold-digger" card, which would give the SD an advantage in any sort of legal squabble.

[JZLizard]

I would like to know the answer to this too. 15 years ago when Craigslist was hopping, I hosted plenty of times at my own place and never gave it a second thought. Things are very different today. I don't have an SO either, so that's not a concern. What does give me concern is if I bring home some chick, SB or civvie, the next day (or ten years later, a-la Weinstein saga), she could claim I did something I didn't. With our screwed up legal system, my understanding is that everything she says is taken as solid fact, and it's up to me to prove she's lying. If I take her to a motel, I don't think I should be as concerned, because if she's coming up to my motel room, it would difficult for her to claim she had no intention of spreading the legs, but then again you never know.

As far as Weinstein, Cosby and similar -- there are two elements present in those cases that I doubt the typical SD needs to worry about. One is that the target of the witch-hunt was well-known and (previously) respected in the entertainment industry, and the other is that the sex related accusations resulted from abuse of power in professional situations (casting couch, "do you want this job or not', and so on). Both elements are critical; the male victim in these scenarios must be prominent enough such that the media has a strong motivation to publish stories that fuel the fire (or else the fire won't burn hot enough to spread), and the presence of career-pressure is crucial because it allows the female to position the story such that they never had the choice, and that the legal definition of sexual harassment is present. It also helps tremendously if the female in question is an aging celebrity with a career on the decline, because it brings attention her way (and an insatiable craving for attention is the only reason people go into show-business in the first place) and helps provide her a new career (campaigning as champion for a cause).

So, unless you're a well-known celebrity and are banging young girls that you have some professional involvement with, I wouldn't worry about random claims of the Weinstein type.

Pregnancy is one of the biggest (and costliest) risks that I think most SDs face, and of course there are ways around that. Since I don't like condoms have not had a vasectomy, and do sometimes cum inside them, my primary defense against this risk is to guard my anonymity as much as possible.

My gf lives with me, so bringing SBs to my home is not an option. If she did not, I would probably have various girls over multiple nights in any given week, but if they know where I live, I would no longer take the risk of unloading inside them, it would go in their mouth or I would just pull out and spray them.

My other tactic (which is controversial) is to quickly and move onto the next, never spending too much time with one. I usually cut out of the situation with some sort of short-term family emergency story or similar, then if they keep trying to stay in touch I just tell them I'm now involved with someone else. Sometimes I get a text from them 2-6 months after having cut them loose, where they will say they would just like to see me again, clarifying that no sugar or help is expected; sometimes it's very tempting, but I also wonder if there is more to the request -- perhaps they want another date so they can try to gather more info about my identity, etc? So I never take them up on that offer even if I would like to bang them again.

[GolfMan57]

Hello Mongers, any info good or bad with this one? I thought I remembered a post a while back but can't seem to come across it.

https://www.seeking.com/member/8ea86...b-66b38777f00a

I saw her this last week, Pics are retouched, she is much older looking in real life. Constantly runs late, so don't plan if you are on a time schedule. Good time, not much on oral, but a good time, I might repeat, not sure. She was happy with gift.

[TheMarto1]

For all those of you that like give money away without playtime.

[Kwagmire]

I hosted plenty of times at my own place and never gave it a second thought. Things are very different today... What does give me concern is if I bring home some chick, SB or civvie, the next day (or ten years later, a-la Weinstein saga), she could claim I did something I didn't. With our screwed up legal system, my understanding is that everything she says is taken as solid fact, and it's up to me to prove she's lying. If I take her to a motel, I don't think I should be as concerned, because if she's coming up to my motel room, it would difficult for her to claim she had no intention of spreading the legs, but then again you never know.

I've been on a bit of a break from the SB scene lately, but I, too, don't have an SO to worry about at home. I've tended to meet POTS out for coffee and a bit of conversation and if I get a feeling they're on the up and up, I've invited them back to mine. So far I've been a good judge of character that way, and everything's worked out.

On the handful of times I've felt a little iffy about someone, I've plopped my cell phone down on the dresser, set the audio recorder and then discreetly toss a pair of boxers over the phone. The dresser turns the phone into a great boundary mic, and everything is recorded quite clearly. After the date, I move the audio on the phone over to an encrypted hard drive for safe keeping. I live in a one-party consent state for in-person conversations, but even if that were not the case if the shit hit the fan I'd rather have a recording charge on my record than a sexual assault or rape charge.

[Assaholic]

This hasn't happened to me, but the thought crossed my mind and I was curious if it's happened to anyone else.

As we've discussed, almost every SD avoids meeting at our homes to protect our privacy, even if you don't have an SO at home to worry about. Instead, we either get hotel rooms, or see if the SB can host.

Has anyone ever had an SB suggest that you meet at your place, and question why not when you say no? If so, what reasons did you give?

I would like to know the answer to this too. 15 years ago when Craigslist was hopping, I hosted plenty of times at my own place and never gave it a second thought. Things are very different today. I don't have an SO either, so that's not a concern. What does give me concern is if I bring home some chick, SB or civvie, the next day (or ten years later, a-la Weinstein saga), she could claim I did something I didn't. With our screwed up legal system, my understanding is that everything she says is taken as solid fact, and it's up to me to prove she's lying. If I take her to a motel, I don't think I should be as concerned, because if she's coming up to my motel room, it would difficult for her to claim she had no intention of spreading the legs, but then again you never know.

[Luvyounger]

I have seen her, totally crazy.

Hello Mongers, any info good or bad with this one? I thought I remembered a post a while back but can't seem to come across it.

https://www.seeking.com/member/8ea86...b-66b38777f00a

[Madaboutmax]

I don't have an SO, so using my place is an option but still only after i've built trust with them. I would be very cautious about a girl asking to come back to my place after the first meet.

It's all about trusting that they aren't going to rob and blackmail you. Most girls I've met can be trusted, but it only takes one.

This hasn't happened to me, but the thought crossed my mind and I was curious if it's happened to anyone else.

As we've discussed, almost every SD avoids meeting at our homes to protect our privacy, even if you don't have an SO at home to worry about. Instead, we either get hotel rooms, or see if the SB can host.

Has anyone ever had an SB suggest that you meet at your place, and question why not when you say no? If so, what reasons did you give?

[JustLonely]

I don't think this is going to work anymore. It has been discussed on this thread over time. A couple of years ago I made one, it worked OK for a while, and then I got a request from FB to verify my identity w / something like a utility bill. I couldn't do that, obviously, and the page was deleted. All the stuff about fake FB pages in the last election had FB looking even more closely at this.

I happen to have a 'commercial' FB page I can access, I search from that. There is a difficulty that if you search for someone and find their page, at some point in the future FB could recommend to *them* that you might be a friend. After I search someone on the site, I log out and log back in. The right hand side of the search bar has an Edit function. Clicking that, your past searches are listed. Even though FB says what you have searched for is confidential, that means to outsiders. They can still use the info on what you have searched for for their own purposes. That is why I always clear out the past searches.

I've never got a request from FB to verify with anything. My fake account has a photo of an airplane and the only info on it is I say I don't trust Facebook. Been using it for 2 years for this hobby and FB groups I reluctantly join for other real hobbies of mine. Once FB did away with phone number searches, its value went way down for me.

[Zcochran00]

This hasn't happened to me, but the thought crossed my mind and I was curious if it's happened to anyone else.

As we've discussed, almost every SD avoids meeting at our homes to protect our privacy, even if you don't have an SO at home to worry about. Instead, we either get hotel rooms, or see if the SB can host.

Has anyone ever had an SB suggest that you meet at your place, and question why not when you say no? If so, what reasons did you give?

[FarFarAway]

You can set up an alternate account using your secret email and pictures of someone / thing other than yourself to go facebook searching.

I don't think this is going to work anymore. It has been discussed on this thread over time. A couple of years ago I made one, it worked OK for a while, and then I got a request from FB to verify my identity w / something like a utility bill. I couldn't do that, obviously, and the page was deleted. All the stuff about fake FB pages in the last election had FB looking even more closely at this.

I happen to have a 'commercial' FB page I can access, I search from that. There is a difficulty that if you search for someone and find their page, at some point in the future FB could recommend to *them* that you might be a friend. After I search someone on the site, I log out and log back in. The right hand side of the search bar has an Edit function. Clicking that, your past searches are listed. Even though FB says what you have searched for is confidential, that means to outsiders. They can still use the info on what you have searched for for their own purposes. That is why I always clear out the past searches.

[NeoDude]

It's been my experience that when you view somebody's profile on Facebook, they will see your profile show up in their recommended friends list. If you are concerned about somebody finding your personal Facebook profile you will need to block their profile.

Can anyone else confirm this?

I wouldn't want this psycho knowing I exist!

This is why links to personal facebook account is not good.

I clicked it too.

Might consider removing these _ seems like enuf warnings.

[Beachesnole02]

It's been my experience that when you view somebody's profile on Facebook, they will see your profile show up in their recommended friends list. If you are concerned about somebody finding your personal Facebook profile you will need to block their profile.

Can anyone else confirm this?

I wouldn't want this psycho knowing I exist!

You can set up an alternate account using your secret email and pictures of someone / thing other than yourself to go facebook searching.