"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[DWinthrop]

The Reddit SugarLifestyleForum is a great resource to learn how the mind of a SB works.

Routinely, new SBs arrive at that forum with questions like: My new SD and I had sex all week, but now he isn't answering texts and hasn't paid me my allowance. What should I do?

Some of the SBs over there have private forums in which they discuss SDs in local areas.

Most of the seasoned SBs claim to make $5,000-10,000 per month, which really fucks with the new SB's minds because they can't figure out why they aren't getting that much.

Ya it's pretty amusing. Honestly, it's amazing how many of these girls expect to figure out the money after the fact.

They have private chat's on reddit which is the closest thing to any organized forum.

[TopGun9]

I recently had my one year anniversary on SA. I've been meaning to post on here for awhile, so thought I would take this opportunity to share some observations and stories. First, the two most important things I have learned on SA in a year:

That was one heck of a birthday gift. And a great write up.

I once slipped cash in a girl's purse after our FC encounter, once she got in the Uber she texted me all pissed off asking why I didn't give her any gift. I told her to check her purse. After that, I always slip the cash in their hands.

[Truncated]

The Reddit SugarLifestyleForum is a great resource to learn how the mind of a SB works.

Routinely, new SBs arrive at that forum with questions like: My new SD and I had sex all week, but now he isn't answering texts and hasn't paid me my allowance. What should I do?

Some of the SBs over there have private forums in which they discuss SDs in local areas.

Most of the seasoned SBs claim to make $5,000-10,000 per month, which really fucks with the new SB's minds because they can't figure out why they aren't getting that much.

[RegularJoe1985]

Go back and read this forum. This topic has been talked about time and time again. They have their own forum. They might talk about it at school and in social groups but there's an actual Forum that goes back a long time.

Never hurts to build rapport with senior members.

[OliverNP]

Finally, of course, is Daddy. An enormous percentage, maybe all, of these girls have daddy issues. I don't want to act like THEIR daddy, of course. The incest angle creeps me out.

Lots of good points in your post. I do think, however, that there is tendency to conjoin baby / daddy play with incest, when incest really has nothing to do with it in most cases. I am disgusted by the thought of sex with an actual biological relative, however I love being daddy to a girl who craves or needs it (and as you pointed out, so many of them do).

I've learned a great deal about what makes these girls tick, and my observation around girls who want baby / daddy play do not have incest fantasies at all. What they do want (because most of them have never had it) is the conditions that occur when an authority figure, who they see (or want to see) as a hero, shows them genuine adoration (or in some cases love) in return. By that I they want someone who is firm and strong, but always caring for them, looking out for them, and steering them through the right path in life. Some of them, when they say they want to be spoiled, they really mean "rewarded for being a good girl". They don't just want to be handed cash, they want to feel like they are being rewarded for making daddy proud.

I agree it is a bit of a weird dynamic, and different girls have different motives for sugaring, but I've found the father-figure replacement thing is at the core of so many of these situations. Really understanding their intrinsic needs beyond the superficial allowance-motive that brought them to the site in the first place can lead to some really good pussy without tremendous cash outlay.

[OliverNP]

The recent posts on the sharing habits of SBs has me thinking increasingly about the best way to part ways when the time is right. Both the SD and SB typically enter into these arrangements as sort of a shortcut to dating, and a more hassle-free version of traditional dating where hes getting sex and in return providing financial stability (or at least that seems to be the motive of most of the types I've been with).

The problem I've found is that over some period of time, the consistent financial stability results in a "comfort zone" effect that provides diminishing returns to the SD. The first 2-3 dates, she shows up looking as hot as she possibly can. Soon after, the amount of effort she is exerting to impress me seems to decrease. This might be changes with her clothes or makeup, or she starts showing up later and later for our meetings, or I generally get the feeling she is less appreciative. Sometimes the quality of sex is maintained on her part, but other circumstances seem to change such that I feel like I'm no longer getting the same return what I originally signed up to provide for. Sometimes they become increasingly high maintenance in terms of their behavior, mostly in the form of emotional neediness.

In a real relationship, we might look for ways to fix things like that, but this is sugaring where the goal is simplicity and convenience. And since I'm providing financial support, I do not care to invest lots of time like I would in a relationship.

I've never had an SB end it with me -- it always has to be me. But I'd also like to do it in the most fair way possible. It can be hard because many of them start behaving like a jilted girlfriend if I tell them the truth, that an arrangement has a shorter life cycle than a long term relationship and that our arrangement has simply run its course. So I find myself trying to come up with clever situations or reasons, avoiding using the exact same excuse twice because I never know which one of them is sharing info with the other.

So. How do you guys do it?

[BookerTNelson]

And what do you do when you get to the meet and greet and they recognize your face? Using new numbers and fake pic only gets you meet and greets with girls who know you and don't want to do business with you. It's a waste of time and money for everyone. If you use your own pic, then you know you're going to meet up with girls who don't know who you are and it saves everyone a lot of time and trouble.

4 years in and it hasn't happened once. Shit, I've met with some SB's that I ghosted on previously because I was too busy with others and they didn't know me. My point is that you're giving them too much credit. This game is easy and becomes easier once you are face to face with them. It's the computer and texting BS that makes this a headache at times.

[DWinthrop]

Gabby puts out and will meet at FC. Has a lot of tattoos but is a true teenager, I saw her a few times back when she was 18. Some fake SD scammed her for a few grand and she ended up really high milage to pay her bank back so wrap it up. https://www.seeking.com/member/bc301...2-709f8dfc0f19.

BTW, she has a bunch of friends who sugar, so if you like em young like I do expect that she will ask around about you.

[DogBert77]

This system has served me well.

HG, you are the master and I bow down before you! I have followed your many exploits with admiration and envy.

I will say that my standard donation substantially is larger than yours. Even so, I have had a few pissed off hotties after the fact, a couple of whom I have posted about previously. Unfortunately for them, no one has invented a way for them to unfuck me after the fact. But the vast majority leave pleased, or at least satiated.

[HollywoodGuy]

I recently had my one year anniversary on SA.

I always worry that my posts are too long. No more. Great post. But if I slipped my usual donation into a hot girls purse I don't think too many of them would be coming back (except to hurt me. LOL). So I kind of have to get that part of the arrangement in writing upfront so to speak. I mean I could do that if I wanted to have a string of very pissed off girls in my wake, and sadly this is a ploy a lot of guys use, they promise the world, and fuck the girl until she gets wise, or just ghost them immediately.

But I am always on the lookout for regulars that are not focused on just the money. Usually the best way for me to do that is to search out the real kinkster type girls with totally perverted minds. They love the idea of being ravished by an equally or more perverted dirty old man, and the dirtier the better. And I am very nasty (using their lingo) with very few limits. This system has served me well. And I kind of have to do it this way as the psychological dynamic between me and the girl is the most important thing for me. If that's there, then everything else just flows naturally.

[DogBert77]

Thank you for sharing!!

The advice and education on this board have been invaluable. I really studied the Index and the old posts and picked up a lot of knowledge on burner phones, Google Voice, payments, operational security, game, all kinds of stuff. This is a great resource. It saved me so much much time and money getting started.

Thanks to all the bros on here who post constructively. I try to pay back by chipping in when I have something useful to add.

[Mark User]

I recently had my one year anniversary on SA. I've been meaning to post on here for awhile, so thought I would take this opportunity to share some observations and stories.
. . .
One year in, I'm lovin' SA!

Thank you for sharing!!

[DogBert77]

I recently had my one year anniversary on SA. I've been meaning to post on here for awhile, so thought I would take this opportunity to share some observations and stories. First, the two most important things I have learned on SA in a year:

1. This is a lot of work.

2. I sure like fucking college girls at my age!

I guess neither of these are shocking revelations, but it's something I had to experience for myself to appreciate.

I work the site pretty hard. The online part is not really work, I enjoy scouting the profiles and texting the girls. My in person game on meet & greets has been highly effective from the beginning, but my online game was crappy to start. I really had no feel for texting at all. After much practice, I feel I have gotten a lot better at it. I still message an enormous number of girls for every one I get to the FC, but the ones I get there make it all worthwhile. My number is not all that high. I tapped 23 SB's in first year. But the quality has been amazing. Really can't compare the experience to escorts. With one exception, they have all been between 18 and 23. I have repeated with a number of them. No shows and flaking remain my biggest problem, although I have done several things to mitigate this risk.

I am married with kids and can rarely go on dates at night. This makes it harder to score the type of girls I really like, but not impossible. My goal is to have an experience as much like a date as possible. If the girls are hot, and don't seem professional, I like to take them to lunch, get a bottle of wine if they are old enough to drink. I love flirting and talking with them. Usually, if I have screened them properly, they are ready to go to hotel afterwards. A lot of them will do this without discussing money, at least not in any explicit way. The best experience for me is when I can bang them without any discussion of price or services, then just slip the cash in their purse afterward. It never ceases to amaze me how many of them will do that. With practice, I have gotten a lot better at screening for what I want.

For me, scoring the 18-19 year olds is much harder than the 20-23 year olds. I don't think girls in their twenties are over the hill, and really, they look just as good as the 18-19's. But I love the naivete and inexperience, so even though it is more work, I spend a lot of time chasing the teens, and have tapped several. The 22 and 23 year olds are much easier. There are so many of them on SA, and they are just more comfortable with the whole deal. I think the average girls gets fucked a lot between ages 18 and 21. That, of course, is part of the appeal of the younger ones.

I am not in Richmond. I live in a large metropolitan area. There is a huge supply of sugar babies, and more literally join the site every day. This is great of course, but I have a hard time staying focused on the ones I'm bird dogging when there are so many hot distractions all the time. And of course, there is also a huge supply of daddies here, so the hot girls are getting bombarded every minute. I am really impressed when I read about some of you guys that have spreadsheets tracking all your communications with the girls. I am a lot more haphazard, but it's been a fun ride so far. One of the great things about where I live is that there are lot of races and ethnicities here, so it's like a smorgasbord of girls all the time. Race here is not just a question of black and white. There are ton of Asians, hapas of every stripe, Hispanics and white girls from all over the world visiting, working, exchange students, au pairs, everything. I feel like Dobie Gillis.

There has been some discussion on here about whether to treat these girls like dates, or whether your interaction is different. I would like to offer my views. I try to project a mix of several personas. One is a date. Not a good guy, earnest kind of date that they could see a long term relationship with, but a "bad boy" who clearly wants to get in their pants, is leaving town next week, but is hell of lot of fun in the meantime. Another persona I think of as that high school gym teacher or coach that made them kind of nervous because they weren't sure if he was checking their ass out, but they still liked him and wanted his approval. The third is an authority figure, like a professor or a boss. They clearly want his approval and aren't sure if they are good enough to get it. So I sort of cycle back and forth between these personas and keep them off balance. For example, I don't hesitate to offer value judgments on their life choices or to tell them what they should do. This is something the bad boy date would never do. Conversely, after a glass or two of wine I don't hide it I am looking down their blouse or checking their ass when they get up to go to the bathroom. This is something their professor or boss (usually) doesn't want to be seen doing. Finally, of course, is Daddy. An enormous percentage, maybe all, of these girls have daddy issues. I don't want to act like THEIR daddy, of course. The incest angle creeps me out. But I am a real daddy, and I talk about how my kids get a lot of attention and opportunities. I make it clear that they come before nay sugar daddy activities. I want to seem like the daddy they wish they had had, so they will crave my attention and approval. And we ll know how they can get my attention and approval, right?

I had my birthday this summer, and would like to share the story of my "celebration". I had a meet set for lunch time that day with a regular SB, one of my ATF's, to treat myself. She had to reschedule that one due to work issues. She told me the day before and I couldn't substitute anyone for that time slot, so I was a bit bummed. We set another date, and she had to reschedule again. It is not easy to schedule this one, she is a busy girl and works a professional job, so daytimes, when I like to meet, are hard for her. But she communicates well and is very responsible, never stands me up. Not to mention great in the sack.

So we finally connected for my "official" birthday celebration a couple weeks after my birthday. We were meeting at "happy hour" after she got out of work. She told me she had a surprise for my birthday. I told her I didn't want any gifts of material things from her, and she said she knew that. I was wondering what she could possibly surprise me with, since over the last few months she had already done pretty much everything for me a woman can do.

She booked the room so I didn't have to put it on my card. Texted me room number, I knock on the door, she lets me in, I come in and give her a hello kiss. Then the door to the bathroom opens, and another girl I had never seen before comes out and says "surprise!" My birthday gift was a threesome!

It was awesome. My regular is a petite blonde spinner with big tits. Her friend was Asian, tall for an Asian girl at 5'5" or 5'6" and thin, very pretty, and, I soon found out, small tits but great big Asian nipples. The contrast was delightful. We drank a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc I had brought while we chatted and they teased me. The thought of the threesome to come was mind blowing, but really just having the new girl in the room, having just met her and knowing with 100% certainty that I was going to get to fuck her shortly, was pretty exciting. New girl was a friend of my regular from college, one year younger, and they were good friends. Apparently, matching her friend's schedule with ours had caused the second rescheduling.

Both girls are straight so they didn't lick each other or anything. They did french kiss each other and play with each other's tits for my benefit, but each stayed away from the other girl's pussy. Having them both on their knees while they tag teamed a blow job was just as much fun as it looks like in porn. One thing I particularly enjoyed was having each girl take my dick in hand and guide it into the other girl's pussy while in doggy position, then make out with me while I was dogging the other one. I tried to be fair and not ignore my regular, but the friend did get more attention the first time round. It was all uncovered and I CIP with the new girl first. (I have heard if you do a threesome with pro's a lot of hem make you change the condom every time you switch girls. That would be a real buzzkill.).

We then took a break and drank a bottle of rosé that I had also bought. Some really dirty talk ensued this time round. Apparently, the deal was that my regular was going to fuck her friend's boyfriend in a threesome as payback. She assured me the boyfriend was "totally fuckable. " Once the rosé was gone, we got back to business, and eventually, I inseminated my regular as well. Unbelievable. I was pretty jazzed with the threesome and want to repeat, of course. They sort of laughed at that and said "maybe next birthday. ".

I have never talked about money with the regular, except as it relates to reimbursing expenses like the room. I just stuff my usual donation in her purse or something every time. This time, she asked that I stuff it in her friend's purse and she gave me a freebie. What a girl! I felt bad that she not only got no money but had to fuck her friend's boyfriend as part of my birthday deal, but I hadn't brought enough cash to hit them both. However, the next time I saw her, she told me her friend gave her the cash later. She said the friend hadn't expected any cash and told her it was a straight trade, "you do my guy in a threesome and I will do your guy in a threesome. " She assured me it had been a good time with her friend's boyfriend, so I was relieved.

This blonde was only the fourth SB I hit, early in my sugaring career, and has been the longest arrangement I have had by far. Most of the other girls have been one off's with a few that I have seen a few times before they ghost. I am seeing one other girl sort of regularly now. She is a 23 year old au pair from Argentina. Her ancestry is 100% Italian on both sides. So she is a Spanish speaking Italian! Yeah, she is a firecracker. She has to work morning and evening but is off in the middle of the day, so her schedule works perfect for me. I also have first date with a hapa girl this weekend and have high hopes for that. I have a million POT's right now with an abnormally high percentage of 18 yer olds since school recently started. I know from experience that I won't get most of the POT's to the FC, but I will get get some. I just don't know which yet.

One year in, I'm lovin' SA!

[Sage3]

Women doing exactly what we are doing. The nerve of them!

Get real. College girls especially, who seem to have a very detached view of sexual activities, are just looking for the best possible experience, just like we are.

Ernie, your right again! Of course they have a forum where they talk about us also. Everyone on SA has an agenda. Just try to use common sense.

[ShoreDog]

Seeing your pic?

Also, I'm sure that they share info in their little circles as others have stated. I'm also sure there are some that try to send their stories to blogs or maybe even the Reddit SB forums. What I'm not convinced about yet is that these girls are building a concise database, for how much disarray most of their lives are in it is just something that I doubt. Now, with all that said. I am even more dialed into not sending my photos and changing my number when applicable.

And what do you do when you get to the meet and greet and they recognize your face? Using new numbers and fake pic only gets you meet and greets with girls who know you and don't want to do business with you. It's a waste of time and money for everyone. If you use your own pic, then you know you're going to meet up with girls who don't know who you are and it saves everyone a lot of time and trouble.