"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[HollywoodGuy]

Being a little under the weather the last few days I took the time to reverse my initial come on strategy to emulate some of what I have read here. Go slow, don't talk about sugar until you can't avoid it, etc. It got me into a lot of long winded discussions and many emails going back and forth only to find that unless I was willing to BS a little that my $ donation was going nowhere. And these girls werent any better or worse looking than usual. In between I did send a few standard upfront type messages.

Here is a reply I got today. Very typical.

"LOL that was a long message but I like that you don't beat around the bush. Your upfront with what you want and I'm the same way. I think that we could definitely setup a good arrangement. And I never had anyone complain about my (blank) skills. I would like to meet sometime if your interested my number is (blank) you can shoot me a text if you'd like ".

A petite 23 year old white girl. Probably a 7 or so all around so far. I havent qualified anyone yet worth offering $$ to. Thats going to take a little time as they would have to be a hot, young, first timer. One thing I am not going to do is avoid the sugar discussion prior to a M&G. That would just be too much effort to possibly get shutdown.

[HollywoodGuy]

I think most SDs aren't looking for genuine caring or anything real. I love fucking 20 year olds but I wouldn't want one as a girlfriend, it would drive me crazy. 30 is about the minimum age where the maturity level I need in a relationship sets in.

But actual relationships have come out of these SD / SB arrangements before. I don't think its the norm.

I can only speak for myself, but all my SB's have to profess their undying love or devotion to me, promise to be a good girl and think my dick is a magic wand or I'm not even interested. Meaning by date 10. And while a 20 year old may not know much I would rather listen to them than to an older girl that thinks she knows what's best for me. But that's just me. The biggest problem with any older girl is that they are mostly set in their ways as opposed to an adventurous younger girl that I can mold to be set in my ways. Because it really is my way or the highway with very few exceptions.

And some jump at the chance to show me what a good little girl they are. Because they know any guy thats paying has lots of choices. At a $ it is tough to keep them in line sometimes. At $$ I would be adamant. LOL. I lost my jamaican princess for this very reason. At date 10 she was still making the rules and faking affection, so it ended.

To me there is nothing cuter than a young girl throwing herself at you and asking what can she do to make you happy. Also I have gotten a lot of feedback from girls that one of the main reasons they dont like the bowl is that so many guys do want a real relationship or an exclusive live in situation.

[HollywoodGuy]

This thread fascinates me. Kudos to you guys for keeping it interesting. I'm not really in a position to be a SD myself, but my imagination tells me the sex should be wonderful, passionate, and unrushed. Especially compared to sex with a typical escort, although there is some crossover with some girls. I even saw an escort recently who told me she had just gotten out of a long-term sugar daddy-baby relationship she had formed on a dedicated website. She was good, but I could still tell she was acting a bit. So, my question is this: Do you guys feel like the girls usually genuinely care about you, and genuinely enjoy and want your intimate company in the same way they would a boyfriend, or even some hot guy they bring home from a concert? Or do you feel like a lot of these girls are putting up a good front for the money, like one of the higher end escorts would? I'm just really curious to know your thoughts on that.

I have repeated this before. If you are paying a $ a date, then they have to like you or they will be gone within 1 to 3 dates 90% of the time. If you are paying $$ it's 50/50. If you are paying $$$ or more they may love you to death, but for the money only. If that doesn't matter to you, then who cares. And the sex is way better than an escort most of the time as far as rushing. As far as skills its all over the map just as with an escort. But usually much better in my experience. And all SB's (and all my UTR's) are GFE or why would I even see them?

I can see where escorts provide a valuable service to guys that need sex only. Covered. And with clearly set dollar amount and time frame. And zero clingyness.

[Admin2]

Might need some help, some old broad that probably used to be hot and liked having men pay her bills has been trying to post a bunch of shit about you guys not being willing to pay these girls enough money. She likes to brag about how women in Richmond have infiltrated this forum (it's quite an accomplishment registering a user name on a public forum, their (her) hacking skilz are legendary) and are "on to your games."

If I miss one please don't respond to this troll, just report it.

A2

[JZLizard]

I do actually look for a caring relationship. I prefer an ongoing relationship that is NSA. This works well for me. I really like the affection and the sex from a 20 something SB. (I am 43). I am able to keep costs down because I am not paying them to sleep with me, they actually really want to, and then I just help with some bills and gifts.

I understand where you're coming from. I prefer that there is "caring" there in the sense that if they ask me for advice on how to handle some aspect of life or whatever (help other than financial), I will do what I can to steer them the right way, and it's kind of nice when they act jealous or a little bit possessive (it's more of an ego stroke for me than anything else). But, I don't confuse that with what I thought the poster meant when he asked about relationships. I consider a "relationship" in the true sense to be an exclusive boyfriend / girlfriend type of relationship, where the relationship is not founded on financial support and sex, but rather founded exclusively on caring for each other and that the relationship would support itself to some extent even if gift of payment were to disappear from the equation. An NSA relationship is really an arrangement in my mind. A relationship by definition has strings.

I just think most SDs aren't looking for that (a real relationship). Just as important as receiving sex for their support is that they can go home to their wife or go on about their life when fun time is over. There are exceptions, to be sure. But I think the married SD who is not looking for a girlfriend is more common.

[CaneBay]

I think most SDs aren't looking for genuine caring or anything real. I love fucking 20 year olds but I wouldn't want one as a girlfriend, it would drive me crazy. 30 is about the minimum age where the maturity level I need in a relationship sets in.

But actual relationships have come out of these SD / SB arrangements before. I don't think its the norm.

I do actually look for a caring relationship. I prefer an ongoing relationship that is NSA. This works well for me. I really like the affection and the sex from a 20 something SB. (I am 43). I am able to keep costs down because I am not paying them to sleep with me, they actually really want to, and then I just help with some bills and gifts.

[CaneBay]

SA uses AVS to verify its payments. How do you take care of name and address with a Visa gift card? Do the gift cards accept fake name and address?

Yes. Fake name and address when you register the gift card. I have never had a problem.

[JZLizard]

This thread fascinates me. Kudos to you guys for keeping it interesting. I'm not really in a position to be a SD myself, but my imagination tells me the sex should be wonderful, passionate, and unrushed. Especially compared to sex with a typical escort, although there is some crossover with some girls. I even saw an escort recently who told me she had just gotten out of a long-term sugar daddy-baby relationship she had formed on a dedicated website. She was good, but I could still tell she was acting a bit. So, my question is this: Do you guys feel like the girls usually genuinely care about you, and genuinely enjoy and want your intimate company in the same way they would a boyfriend, or even some hot guy they bring home from a concert? Or do you feel like a lot of these girls are putting up a good front for the money, like one of the higher end escorts would? I'm just really curious to know your thoughts on that.

I think most SDs aren't looking for genuine caring or anything real. I love fucking 20 year olds but I wouldn't want one as a girlfriend, it would drive me crazy. 30 is about the minimum age where the maturity level I need in a relationship sets in.

But actual relationships have come out of these SD / SB arrangements before. I don't think its the norm.

[Spicy Dreams]

This thread fascinates me. Kudos to you guys for keeping it interesting. I'm not really in a position to be a SD myself, but my imagination tells me the sex should be wonderful, passionate, and unrushed. Especially compared to sex with a typical escort, although there is some crossover with some girls. I even saw an escort recently who told me she had just gotten out of a long-term sugar daddy-baby relationship she had formed on a dedicated website. She was good, but I could still tell she was acting a bit. So, my question is this: Do you guys feel like the girls usually genuinely care about you, and genuinely enjoy and want your intimate company in the same way they would a boyfriend, or even some hot guy they bring home from a concert? Or do you feel like a lot of these girls are putting up a good front for the money, like one of the higher end escorts would? I'm just really curious to know your thoughts on that.

[PghGuy2005]

I doubt the SA app itself would seek to retrieve that from your phone, but I'm pretty sure they would already have it from paying for a membership via credit card (unless there are alternatives I'm unaware of).

I always use an untraceable "gift card" visa. Pay cash for it. Your name is never associated with the account.

SA uses AVS to verify its payments. How do you take care of name and address with a Visa gift card? Do the gift cards accept fake name and address?

[JZLizard]

Got called out by my two remaining sbs. Looks like they have been reading. According to one of the two, she went out a member of the forum or lurker, who took her out on a "proper date", but was clearly using the information I posted to assist his game and then directed her to my post.

This is exactly the risk I posted about in post #8120, item #5. It is also the reason that private groups do not solve the problem. Anything you share, even if it is with a brother you believe you can trust, may inadvertently end up being shared in ways you cannot foresee.

[IluvSmellyFish]

Got called out by my two remaining sbs. Looks like they have been reading. According to one of the two, she went out a member of the forum or lurker, who took her out on a "proper date", but was clearly using the information I posted to assist his game and then directed her to my post.

I wanted to point out to her that he had to be a reader of the site if he knew about my post, but decided it wasn't worth it.

Looks like my descriptions in my Dec report were so useful, I helped myself lose all five of my sbs.

I got an earful from that particular sb with threats to post my pics online.

Back to the drawing board. Seniors and trusted members can pm me, but this will be my last post. Besides Gps is rampant out there. May just take a break from the lifestyle entirely, until the next holiday season.

[JZLizard]

One option is to set up a closed, invitation only circle while still using this forum for general matters. I like USASG and all it has to offer users across the nation. But intimate details could be shared in private. At the moment there are probably only 20 contributors active.

And any oldie but goodie guys could easily come back in. I appreciate the new contributors and want their input but they would have to achieve senior status to be considered for the private circle. Details are important and should be shared safely among the faithful.

Anything that reduces the amount of food crumbs on the floor will reduce the insect infestation. LOL. So in that light, if folks feel compelled to share lots of details, I agree it should be done privately. A reduction in juicy details posted here would reduce the amount of prying eyes.

However, even the inner circle approach comes with its own set of drawbacks:

First, the sugar scene is going to get discussed here at USASG one way or another. If the senior regulars here fade away into secrecy, it will only be a matter of weeks before new threads crop up (or newcomers begin posting here), re-inventing the wheel with their own terminology or ways of discussing things. Then it's only a matter of time before it's back to square one, except the new generation of posters will have not benefitted from the lessons learned here about oversharing.

Second, I've been a part of many "private group" spinoffs over the last 25 years or so, going back even back in the days of AOL, prodigy, and similar services, it was quite common to see discussions on public forums spin off into private forums or email lists (not necessarily just for sexual topics but any topic that seemed to be getting unwanted public attention / participation or troll activity). The problem that tends to occur is the "inbred" syndrome. A small handful of folks tends to discuss matters among themselves, without benefitting from the influx of new perspectives. The original members were hand selected based on some criteria, and there is rarely a reasonable path to recruiting new members. If senior status here at USASG or number of posts is used as a criteria, there is nothing stopping an SB posing as an SD from eventually being invited to the group. Then there would be those who are uninterested in the private group and would just keep doing what they're doing. I fall into that category, I tend to prefer to continue posting here in this thread, perhaps occasionally offering suggestions on keeping a reasonable level of discretion, because I feel that contributes to the overall hobby of SDing more than swapping info in private.

I say all this not to discourage the private group for those who want to partake (in fact if I'm not mistaken this is already going on?) And, if lots of identifiable details absolutely must be posted, as mentioned they are better off posted in private (whether that's an e-mail group or private inbox or whatever).

But I'd hate to see the private group act as a vacuum, and start to see level of participation here in this thread dwindle to the point where the senior folks are all huddling in private, and a group of newbies comes in and has to start the learn from mistakes process all over again from the beginning.

Overall, I believe it is better to continue the public traffic, but to use good judgment /discretion on what to post and when details must be posted, mix them up a little bit to change the characteristics of the situation such as not to reveal too much.

[FredMoore]

I expect there will be many more of these drive-by assaults from SBs in coming days.

One way or another, it is not a good thing for SDs to share too much here
So, always keep in mind they are watching. Just be careful about posting too much information.

One option is to set up a closed, invitation only circle while still using this forum for general matters. I like USASG and all it has to offer users across the nation. But intimate details could be shared in private. At the moment there are probably only 20 contributors active.

And any oldie but goodie guys could easily come back in. I appreciate the new contributors and want their input but they would have to achieve senior status to be considered for the private circle. Details are important and should be shared safely among the faithful.

[JZLizard]

I expect there will be many more of these drive-by assaults from SBs in coming days.

One way or another, it is not a good thing for SDs to share too much here.

Think about what this means whenever you post. If you post a particular tip, technique or strategy that has worked well for you while "playing the game", its value is now diminished due to the fact that the other side will now know your modus operandi.

I personally try to focus on sharing ideas that I think will help the cause of SDs, without giving any on-looking SBs any insight into how I do things. For example when I speak of cyber-security issues or whatever -- it's information that can help both sides, really, there's no ill effect of them reading that information. However if I posted something that gives me the competitive edge when it comes to getting them into the FC (which you may notice, I almost never reveal my tricks of the trade), the tactic would get its value diminished via word of mouth / social networking et al.

So, always keep in mind they are watching. Just be careful about posting too much information.