Thread: Massage Parlor Reports
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03-16-17 08:04 #12
Posts: 1242Top 10 signs it's an erotic massage parlor from my exp
Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along.
1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!
2. It's packing Neon signs with words like "massage", "bodyrub" or "fellatio barn". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know degenerates like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.
3. Odd / distant Location If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a handjob = holiday in Hades.
4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.
5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending, if I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a handjob (or lice).
6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied babysacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!
7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.
8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.
9. The massage room has items like vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.
10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.
HA!
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06-24-14 10:11 #11
Posts: 15Originally Posted by LongStick [View Original Post]
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06-14-14 19:38 #10
Posts: 182Pine Tree
http://www.waff.com/story/25643700/3...stitution-raid
Glad I went there before this happened. I must've been there just a couple weeks before the raid. Standard finish but overall good.
I wonder are they still open after the raid?
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03-29-14 13:01 #9
Posts: 25Pine Tree
Visited Pine Tree this past week. Saw Coco she was very attractive short black curly hair, very smooth skin. I didn't get the TS got the 30 minute session. The session had a full menu of options and was very well done. 60 for the session tip $.20 Total $.80.
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02-07-14 00:27 #8
Posts: 495Pinetree
I would repost in Hsv section. Might get more responses.
I was there about six weeks ago. Nice time. Hope to be in the area again for another visit.
Originally Posted by LongStick [View Original Post]
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02-06-14 18:32 #7
Posts: 182Pine Tree Spa
Hey guys is this place still open? Anybody stop by lately? I drove by recently and the sign was up. If it's still open and if there is still fun to be had I wouldn't mind making the trip.
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05-23-13 18:22 #6
Posts: 109Pine tree
I stopped here on my way through earlier this week, my first time up this way. Easy to find right off the highway. There's a sign in the lobby $60 for HH and $80 for a full hour massage. I went with just the half. I got undressed and Lee came in and began the massage. There was no mention of a TS and I didn't ask. Didn't see one either. Massage was surprisingly good actually with time to roam. She hopped on my back and did a very thorough rub. I've had them before where they'll use plenty of pressure but its like being poked with 10 sticks! A little conversation here and there, she was quite friendly. On the flip she was very enthusiastic and wasn't rushed. Her attitude has definitely improved since the earlier reviews. I'd visit again if I ever get back up that way.
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01-21-13 07:29 #5
Posts: 440Pine Tree
I stopped here last time I drove through the area (a couple of weeks ago). I got Lee. It seems the time has improved her a bit. Nice massage and her skin is silky smooth. At one point I felt her poking at my butt and it took me a minute to realize that it was her tongue. On the flip I motion for a handjob and she states 60. I pay and she takes her top off and starts the HJ. After a few minutes I motion for her to remove her bottoms and she does. My hands have full access. Overall it was a great experience for 120 total out of pocket. I plan to stop again next time I'm in the area.
Originally Posted by Southern G [View Original Post]
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10-28-11 08:12 #4
Posts: 91Pine Tree Visit
Originally Posted by Smut Villian [View Original Post]
Ask for Julie and if you get Lee, negotiate prior to tipping.
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09-12-11 09:24 #3
Posts: 68Yumi Sauna. Cusetta I-85 Exit 70
It's a typical setup. Paid mamasan. 6 for 45 minutes not the hour they advertise. Attendant was "Pink", short, mid 20's with a set of real C's. Shower was nothing special with no attention given to anything that needed it. Back in the room the massage was mechanical and on the flip she asked for 1. 5 for the HE! I thought she might be confused about the services I was looking for. When I made myself clear she countered with $. We negotiated. 6 and she pulled down her top, got the oil and went to work.
I was in and out in 37 minutes. Although "Pink" had about the finest set I've seen yet in an AMP, I doubt I'll go back.
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07-06-11 17:11 #2
Posts: 429Pine Tree Spa (Elkmont, AL)
Didn't know whether to put this one here or in "Interstates and Truck Stops", as the AMP is actually located in the truck stop parking lot (exit 361 off I-65).
I was getting a little tired from driving all day and decided to pull in at "Pam's Truck Stop" for a bite to eat. Noticed a little shop-type structure located right next to the main building; closer inspection revealed that this was an AMP, and it was open for business. I had a little time to kill so I figured,"why not?"
Greeted at the door by a middle-aged but cute enough Korean with some decent see-cup cleavage (not gigantic but more than a mouthful) , cute face and a short dress which left little to the imagination. This cute little piece of Korean pie called herself "Julie" (she may have told me her name was "Judy" instead of "Julie", but the thick Korean accent made it hard to tell). Elected to take the full hour and undressed. Since I was new there I intentionally let her see me in my birthday suit (this lets her know that you don't have a problem with having your cock flopping out around her and that you're probably not a cop). TS was about average, with good attention paid to the boys downstairs. Started with the light touch massage (also lets her know that you're not necessarily there for sore muscles, as a light touch massage is considered purely sexually teasing in nature). She seemed to enjoy playing around with my ass for some reason, but I'm not complaining. On the flip Julie simply asked "Do you want to have some fun?" Of course, this is exactly why I came here in the first place! We negotiated for a HJ; I am positive More could be had but I was running short on time and was running low on funds at the moment. Julie leaves to put away the tip, comes back and the dress immediately came off. Nice to see that she was an all-natural, large see-cup (I'm not much on silicone). Started off with a body-to-body rub, with some titty-fucking thrown in for good measure. She pops on a cover, sits on my chest so that her clam is mere inches from my tongue, and them enthusiastically alternates between BJ and HJ. After I popped I had to tell her to stop; she was making my toes curl. We made some rather pleasant small talk while I was getting dressed, and she then sent me on my way with a bottle of water and a hug. I wasn't wild about the pricing at first ($.6 half hr, $.8 full hr, $.6 tip) but it seems I got a little more than a mere HJ for my donation so I'm not really put off, either. Again, the provider was attractive enough, and I got the definite impression that more was on the menu. I might revisit if I'm ever in the neighborhood again.
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12-31-99 20:00 #1
Posts: 5309Massage Parlor Reports
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