Off Topic Reports

**Bad Bad Boy** · 08-02-07 21:57

Originally Posted by Sarang Haeyo

I'll have to take you up on this fabulous invitation. Please keep in mind that my penis only responds to the Asian provider; particularly the Korean. Thanks so much BBB, see you soon.

Glad to hear that you are planning a trip to our fair city here in Baltimore, SH. We should have no problem in finding you an Asian girl who will rock your world like you will rock hers.

Our weekend business is so good that the word has spread to neighboring States like PA, NY, NJ, and VA. All these girls are all excited about cumming to Baltimore. The problem we have right now is that we don't have enough mongers to take care of the demand.

In spite of these girls plying us with all kinds of expensive gifts, trips, cruises, and other enticements in addition to having to pay us for sex, it's starting to wear us down. All these girls want to do is fuck, fuck, and fuck some more. Money is no object for them. The problem is that there is only so many hours in a day.

For example, Carrie Underwood (American Idol winner) wants me to go on tour with her and have TURBO, MOCK II SEX with her right before the shows to relax her. The money she was offering was very flattering, but I had to say NO since it would interfere with hunting season.

Horsetrader, Trav, Larry, Frank, and Big Red have said they have run into the same problems with other celebrities like Lindsey, Paris, Britney, and JLo who have approached them with similar deals.

Have to go now, SH. It's Nelly Furtado (recording artist) calling to remind me of my appointment to service her. Where did I put my appointment book? Gad, I hope I didn't over book.

We could sure use some help. lol

BBB

**Larry 56** · 08-02-07 20:53

Originally Posted by Sarang Haeyo

I'll have to take you up on this fabulous invitation. Please keep in mind that my penis only responds to the Asian provider; particularly the Korean.

I would love to be paid time.5 for my services. If my math is correct it would only take 50 years of weekends to make my money back.

Thanks so much BBBoy, see you soon.
SH

If you come to our city, you have to say it correctly. It is KO-Rean!

Remember that our city slogan in the 90s was "Baltimore, The City that Breeds".

Larry!

**Sarang Haeyo** · 08-02-07 18:19

I'll have to take you up on this fabulous invitation. Please keep in mind that my penis only responds to the Asian provider; particularly the Korean.

I would love to be paid time.5 for my services. If my math is correct it would only take 50 years of weekends to make my money back.

Thanks so much BBBoy, see you soon.
SH

**Frank99** · 08-02-07 14:53

Clearly I need to get out more...I am mongering in the wrong part of the city....!

Originally Posted by Bad Bad Boy

SH, we fuck 24/7, 365 - including Christmas day - here in Baltimore and do things slightly different than you guys

) lol No time off.

Let me explain how we operate in Baltimore. Like Big Red said, the girls pay us time and a half for sex on weekends and afterwards take us out to the local watering holes for a few drinks as a show of their appreciation for a job well done.

They balked at the new rules at first, but now gladly accept them. They gladly compete with each other for our services by dressing up, looking sharp, wearing perfume, and working on bettering their performance and stamina.

The demand for our services is so great that the new girls wait their turn to be field tested (auditions) before we will have a thing to do with them. Each girl is graded on looks, personality, performance, cleanliness, and attitude. No exceptions. Slackers are weeded out quickly.

Next time you are in town just let us know and we'll show you around. Don't forget to bring HijabGirl with you. rofl

BBB

**Bad Bad Boy** · 08-02-07 13:47

Originally Posted by Sarang Haeyo

Don't you guys in Baltimore fuck on the weekends???????

SH, we fuck 24/7, 365 - including Christmas day - here in Baltimore and do things slightly different than you guys

) lol No time off.

Let me explain how we operate in Baltimore. Like Big Red said, the girls pay us time and a half for sex on weekends and afterwards take us out to the local watering holes for a few drinks as a show of their appreciation for a job well done.

They balked at the new rules at first, but now gladly accept them. They gladly compete with each other for our services by dressing up, looking sharp, wearing perfume, and working on bettering their performance and stamina.

The demand for our services is so great that the new girls wait their turn to be field tested (auditions) before we will have a thing to do with them. Each girl is graded on looks, personality, performance, cleanliness, and attitude. No exceptions. Slackers are weeded out quickly.

Next time you are in town just let us know and we'll show you around. Don't forget to bring HijabGirl with you. rofl

BBB

**Big Red50** · 08-02-07 08:34

Originally Posted by Sarang Haeyo

That's more like it!

I thought for a minute you badasses were going queer on us.

Hello SH

Was that badasses or bigasses, like I said when you drive a railroad spike, you don't hit it with a tack hammer. LOL

Big Bad Red

**Sarang Haeyo** · 08-02-07 07:58

Originally Posted by Big Red50

Hell yeah

We fuck every day, we get paid time and a half to fuck on weekends. LOL

Big Red from Balmer

That's more like it!

I thought for a minute you badasses were going queer on us.

**Big Red50** · 08-01-07 23:10

Originally Posted by Sarang Haeyo

Don't you guys in Baltimore fuck on the weekends???????

Hell yeah

We fuck every day, we get paid time and a half to fuck on weekends. LOL

Big Red from Balmer

**Larry 56** · 08-01-07 14:15

Originally Posted by Sarang Haeyo

Don't you guys in Baltimore fuck on the weekends???????

LE gets busy on Friday and Saturday nights. Thursday night as well. The SWs are convinced that Tuesday is a special night for LE as well.

What the hell do they know? Most don't know what day of the week it is.

Larry!

**Frank99** · 08-01-07 12:33

#17 is fucked in my opinion. I have this image of Mr. Spock doing some Vulcan clensing ritual on whatever passes for a tool on his planet during Pomphar.

Slogans for safe sex!

21 Slogans To Help Promote Safe Sex

1. Cover your stump before you hump

2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker

3. Don`t be silly, protect your willy

4. When in doubt, shroud your spout

5. Don`t be a loner, cover your boner

6. You can`t go wrong when you shield your dong

7. If you`re not going to sack it, go home & whack it

8. If you think she`s spunky cover your money

9. If you slip between her things, be sure to condomize

10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter

11. She won`t get sick if you wrap your ****

12. If you`re going into heat, package your meat

13. When you`re undressing your venus dress up your *****

14. When you take off her pants & blouse, slip up your trouser mouse

15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member

16. Never, Never deck her, with an unwrapped pecker

17. Don`t be a fool, vulcanize your tool

18. The right selection will protect your *****ion

19. Wrap it in oil before checking her oil

20. A crank with armor will never harm her

21. NO GLOVE NO LOVE!

**Sarang Haeyo** · 08-01-07 12:24

Don't you guys in Baltimore fuck on the weekends???????
Perhaps you consider yourselves immune on your days off.

STD's and unwanted pregnancies NEVER take a day off!!!

Saturday - no glove; no love.
Sunday- no protection; no affection.

That should do it.

You can ALWAYS cover your boner before you bone her.

**Bad Bad Boy** · 07-31-07 21:48

As you know, we want our members to be safe and practice safe sex. I know this might be difficult while in the heat of the moment so I want to make it easier for you

). lol

I want you to remember the following 5 slogans, one for each day of the work week. After a while, they will be committed to memory and you will never forget to play safe.

So here goes:

Monday - cover your stump before you hump.
Tuesday - don't be silly, protect your Willie.
Wednesday - never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
Thursday - before you attack her, wrap your wacker.
Friday - if you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

I don't want to make this too difficult so you will have the rest of the week to pontificate.

Good luck, BBB

**Ho Watcher** · 07-29-07 16:42

"New sex lubricant blocks HIV and genital herpes

"An experimental sex lubricant designed by Australian researchers could help block both HIV and genital herpes, a study suggests.

"Tests on lab animals have shown that the microbicide gel, called Viva Gel, inactivates the HIV virus and another responsible for genital herpes.

"Recent trials on animals have shown it is between 85 and 100 per cent effective at blocking both viruses.

"Safety trials of the gel are now underway in humans. The first results show it is safe and well tolerated in healthy men, uncircumcised or not."

http://english.pravda.ru/science/tec...ex_lubricant-0

**Frank99** · 07-29-07 15:07

I have had one hell of a week - maybe one of the top five worst weeks of my life. I am really looking for something different. I know this is a vague and odd request. But if trusted members, ideally those I have PMed or exchanged info with in the past could PM me I'd like to ask a question. I am looking for something specific and a little spooked by brush with LE that was just a routine check with SW in car that I managed to get out of.

Thanks.

Frank

**Larry 56** · 07-26-07 03:22

Originally Posted by Dis Joint

Did you guys check out Jackson's post yesterday and this morning, or am I retarded and already late?

http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/showthread.php?t=5095

Thanks for pointing this out, Joint.

And thanks to Jackson for 'cleaning house'.

Larry!