Sexual Addiction Reports

[TwistedBrother]

Ultimately, you have to be the final judge as to whether it's an addiction or not. It's not a matter of when, if or how much. It's a matter of whether you repeatedly do things you later regret, can't stop when you want to, and there's negative, unwanted effects on other areas of your life. When you say "need it now and can't focus" and "had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense," those sound like behaviors of an addict. Certainly sound like things I've thought and done and led to things I regretted later.

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

[AOneFred7734]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

9 years ago I saw my first girl on a Friday. And said no more. The next week a saw a different one every day! After 8 mo. I was at 120 different ones. Some more then once.

[GioDuck55]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

[Midwt2006]

Wow. Wow! Really its a great piece of advice. True from every word of it.

Also another approach you could take is to stop abruptly. I mean a complete stop. I did that successfully with my cigarette smoking addiction and my monger addiction. Just stop it. Don't do it and mentally tell yourself, you are never going to do it again. It might help. It's easier said than done, but worth trying.

I don't think that I could stop anything by going cold turkey. I just don't think it's in me. It's sad but probably true. Good thing I never started smoking cigarettes. I have enough trouble trying to limit my alcohol consumption. Maybe it would be different with clubbing. As HeadFirst said, it would be wise to find a different form of excitement / reward that appeals to me.

[Xelajo]

Yeah. I used to do the strip clubs. In my career as a monger it's at about the half way point. Looking back it didn't amount to many happy endings but it did help to transfer lots of my hard earned into the purses of some very pretty girls. Eventually I wised up to their game and settled into ***** houses, Reader, Gentleman pages, BP and CL girls. Now pretty much AMP's.

If you're hitting these places 2-3 X a week and wanting to cut back to 2-3 X a month, that's a good goal. But a hard one. If it's not working out for you, don't give up. Re evaluate and adjust. Maybe shoot for staying away for a week in the beginning. Then 10 days. 2 weeks. Then 3. Try to get to a month. See what happens.

Compare it with training to run a marathon. You don't go out and one day decide you want to run 26.2 miles and the next day do it. You got to prepare and condition. Same here.

What helped me also at one time was taking anti depressants. They zapped the hell out of my libido so in that respect they worked. But at the time I was married so I stopped taking them for fear of my ex straying.

You mentioned that you have fun 97% of the time. So you have to consider replacing whatever amount of fun you're going to give up with a different type of fun. When it comes right down to it I believe a lot of us use this hobby as a reward to ourselves for for something we think we deserve being rewarded for. Find something equally as fun to reward yourself. Go fishing. Or golfing. Maybe a concert. Buy a new car for yourself. Do something you've always wanted too.

This is a tough one to kick. I've gotten down to once a week /10 days, sometimes 2 weeks and I'm okay with that right now. Many people have done it before me and I want to join that group some day. Because if my daughter ever found out what her father does sometimes, I would never be able to look her in the eyes again (and vice versa) without her thinking what a pervert I am.

Wow. Wow! Really its a great piece of advice. True from every word of it.

Also another approach you could take is to stop abruptly. I mean a complete stop. I did that successfully with my cigarette smoking addiction and my monger addiction. Just stop it. Don't do it and mentally tell yourself, you are never going to do it again. It might help. It's easier said than done, but worth trying.

[Member #5519]

Sex Trafficking Survivor Protects Girls From The 'Hell' She Endured.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/...b0edff97188d83

[Head First]

Head First, all of what you said is of help to me. I've been strip clubbing for almost 7 years, it's been fun throughout the duration. Sure been some "heartbreaks and disappointments", but fun 97% of the time. I can't spend the time traveling and being at the clubs anymore. If I do I'll be busted sooner or later. Frequency for me lately 2-3 x per week. I've tried to say 2 x per month to myself but can't seem to stick to it. Your insight is appreciated.

Yeah. I used to do the strip clubs. In my career as a monger it's at about the half way point. Looking back it didn't amount to many happy endings but it did help to transfer lots of my hard earned into the purses of some very pretty girls. Eventually I wised up to their game and settled into ***** houses, Reader, Gentleman pages, BP and CL girls. Now pretty much AMP's.

If you're hitting these places 2-3 X a week and wanting to cut back to 2-3 X a month, that's a good goal. But a hard one. If it's not working out for you, don't give up. Re evaluate and adjust. Maybe shoot for staying away for a week in the beginning. Then 10 days. 2 weeks. Then 3. Try to get to a month. See what happens.

Compare it with training to run a marathon. You don't go out and one day decide you want to run 26.2 miles and the next day do it. You got to prepare and condition. Same here.

What helped me also at one time was taking anti depressants. They zapped the hell out of my libido so in that respect they worked. But at the time I was married so I stopped taking them for fear of my ex straying.

You mentioned that you have fun 97% of the time. So you have to consider replacing whatever amount of fun you're going to give up with a different type of fun. When it comes right down to it I believe a lot of us use this hobby as a reward to ourselves for for something we think we deserve being rewarded for. Find something equally as fun to reward yourself. Go fishing. Or golfing. Maybe a concert. Buy a new car for yourself. Do something you've always wanted too.

This is a tough one to kick. I've gotten down to once a week /10 days, sometimes 2 weeks and I'm okay with that right now. Many people have done it before me and I want to join that group some day. Because if my daughter ever found out what her father does sometimes, I would never be able to look her in the eyes again (and vice versa) without her thinking what a pervert I am.

[Midwt2006]

STAYING stopped is the goal. How we achieve that is different for each of us.

When I stopped drinking it was overnight. Same with drugs. Now that I'm diabetic I have to use this same method for staying off of sugar (because there's no way in Hell I can eat just one cookie).

For smoking I used the taper method. Once I was able to get to 1 an hour I then stopped completely.

For this activity, after 27+ years, I've tried to stop but can't even make it to get a 30 day chip. So I've been doing the taper down (over 8 months) and have gone from 2-6 X a week to averaging once every 10-14 days. I've given myself all the time I need to do this and so far so good. A side effect of of not indulging is that's it's getting me to consider getting into a healthy relationship again so that's positive.

Having a very strong 'why' is key to success in this endeavor (and any endeavor) and not wanting to be exposed of this sometimes nasty behavior is working for me.

Head First, all of what you said is of help to me. I've been strip clubbing for almost 7 years, it's been fun throughout the duration. Sure been some "heartbreaks and disappointments", but fun 97% of the time. I can't spend the time traveling and being at the clubs anymore. If I do I'll be busted sooner or later. Frequency for me lately 2-3 x per week. I've tried to say 2 x per month to myself but can't seem to stick to it. Your insight is appreciated.

[Head First]

Staying stopped is a different issue There is ALWAYS the choice to CONTINUE, MODERATE, or OUTRIGHT STOP! Each and every time!

STAYING stopped is the goal. How we achieve that is different for each of us.

When I stopped drinking it was overnight. Same with drugs. Now that I'm diabetic I have to use this same method for staying off of sugar (because there's no way in Hell I can eat just one cookie).

For smoking I used the taper method. Once I was able to get to 1 an hour I then stopped completely.

For this activity, after 27+ years, I've tried to stop but can't even make it to get a 30 day chip. So I've been doing the taper down (over 8 months) and have gone from 2-6 X a week to averaging once every 10-14 days. I've given myself all the time I need to do this and so far so good. A side effect of of not indulging is that's it's getting me to consider getting into a healthy relationship again so that's positive.

Having a very strong 'why' is key to success in this endeavor (and any endeavor) and not wanting to be exposed of this sometimes nasty behavior is working for me.

[Member #5605]

It can be either or other; it doesn't really matter what the behavior is as it relates to sex. It's that you want to stop and you can't. It could be doing horrible, damaging things to others that could land you a life term, or it could be watching porn on your computer and consensual flirting with co-workers. If you want to control it, or stop it, and you can't, then it's like drinking, drugging, etc. That's somewhat simplistic, but that's the gist of it.

The idea that a person somehow "can't stop" an alleged "compulsive" behavior, or a substance abuse addiction is NONSENSE and MORONIC IDIOCY perpetrated by the advocates of "12 Steppism". The "true believers" of "12 Steppism" believe that someone is allegedly "powerless" over the ingestion of a substance, or engaging in a VOLUNTARY ACTIVITY, like promiscuous sexual behavior. And yet the fact that a person engaging in such activity CAN STOP-for even ONE SECOND-proves that the person CAN STOP! Staying stopped is a different issue, but there is ALWAYS STOPPING! THAT indicates there is SOME level of POWER! The idea of "powerlessness" over what a person WILLINGLY ENGAGES IN is the most moronic thought put into modern psychology. Whether it is over a drug or an activity. There is ALWAYS the choice to CONTINUE, MODERATE, or OUTRIGHT STOP! Each and every time!

[TwistedBrother]

Exactly what types of problems are people in those groups for? Are they mostly run of the mill mongers like us? I can relate to mongers like me who pursue adult women, but I want nothing to do with true sex offenders who have either been to jail or ought to be in jail.

It can be either or other; it doesn't really matter what the behavior is as it relates to sex. It's that you want to stop and you can't. It could be doing horrible, damaging things to others that could land you a life term, or it could be watching porn on your computer and consensual flirting with co-workers. If you want to control it, or stop it, and you can't, then it's like drinking, drugging, etc. That's somewhat simplistic, but that's the gist of it.

[StephenOh]

I don't consider myself a sex addict because I do not go on the hunt for it. I'm not going broke, I'm not hurting my wife; if I need it or desire it, I work it into my own little budget.

I pay someone to touch me once a month. I want to be caressed, my lips to be sucked on, my neck to be kissed; just to feel her mess my hair up, look into my eyes, smile at me.

I want to feel passion and elation of being the most important person in someone's life, if just for an hour.

I do not get that at home.

I long to be touched and kissed. And therefore, I am willing to pay for it on a monthly basis. I feel it keeps me sane in this too crazy world.

If that's an addiction, then ok. I'm good with it. As long as I'm not putting another human in danger, humiliation, drama.

Did you bother to post in this thread?

[John Appleseed]

Any sex parties in LA?

[UOnlyLiveOnce]

I've been in 12-step groups for Sex Addiction off and on over the years and have seen people who want to stop, and stay stopped, having success. Maybe didn't work for you, but works for others and would work for me if I was willing. So speak for yourself, but please don't try to force your opinion on others. That's not to say a therapist, or some combination might work for someone. To each his own. The point is if it's out of control and messing up your life, you find out what works and do it. For some, that will be 12 step.

Exactly what types of problems are people in those groups for? Are they mostly run of the mill mongers like us? I can relate to mongers like me who pursue adult women, but I want nothing to do with true sex offenders who have either been to jail or ought to be in jail.

[TwistedBrother]

I've been in 12-step groups for Sex Addiction off and on over the years and have seen people who want to stop, and stay stopped, having success. Maybe didn't work for you, but works for others and would work for me if I was willing. So speak for yourself, but please don't try to force your opinion on others. That's not to say a therapist, or some combination might work for someone. To each his own. The point is if it's out of control and messing up your life, you find out what works and do it. For some, that will be 12 step.

If you DO have a "problem" by whatever definition YIOU determine it to be, see a therapist, and STAY AWAY FROM ANY AND ALL "12 Step Groups" like "SAA" (Sex Addicts Alnonymous), or "Love and Sex Addicts Anonymous). They believe that "sex" is a "character defect" and can be "fixed" with "spirituality". Its the biggest bullshit of a "recovery group" since its close cousins, AA and NA were excreted into existence!