Sexual Addiction Reports

[Admin2]

Well, it could be 12 steps or 144 steps nothing will work until the person takes back control of his / her life. If you were able to do it for so long, you ARE capable of extreme self-control.

Did you miss the part where I specifically told you that it isn't about that for me? Just curious, who do you think knows more about my life? You? Or me?

In my case it has nothing to do with will nor self control. I'm not guessing at that, this is not something I think, it's something I know. I'm informing you about that. It's not a discussion, it's not open to your interpretation, it's information I'm giving you. It's like if you told me your name. If you told me your name was Joe and I said "no it's Steve" I would look kind of stupid no? So if I tell you that in my case, in my experience, it's not about self will nor self control and that in fact I am totally lacking those characteristics and you tell me that I am incorrect and that having never met me you know more about me than I do, how do you think that makes you look?

Yeah, just that stupid. Please don't argue with me about this. As with the other guy your opinion doesn't hold the weight of fact. Especially when you are putting your opinion against my experience of my very own life.

A2.

[OlGary]

I've been doing it more than three decades and that's not how it works for me hoss. Not busting your chops, your post wasn't douchey so I didn't have anything to say about the rest. Just saying that me willpower, and self-control have never been well acquainted is all.

A2.

Well, it could be 12 steps or 144 steps — nothing will work until the person takes back control of his / her life. If you were able to do it for so long, you ARE capable of extreme self-control.

[Admin2]

Of course, there are some people with extraordinary willpower capable of sobering up and staying sober for years. But they still have a desease, it didn't go away. They just suppress urges through extreme self-control.

I've been doing it more than three decades and that's not how it works for me hoss. Not busting your chops, your post wasn't douchey so I didn't have anything to say about the rest. Just saying that me willpower, and self-control have never been well acquainted is all.

A2.

[Admin2]

I got rid of his posts because he's wrong. It's not a matter of opinion, the science is in addiction is a disease. His issue is he's an atheist and hates the idea that some people are finding a spiritual solution to their disease and since he couldn't rationally attack their success he tried to invalidate the idea that addiction is a disease.

I'm not advocating for 12 step programs, I have my story and no shame about it but they aren't for everybody. I also have no issue with atheists, some of the people I know who are 12 step inclined are atheists, doesn't seem to hurt them any. he wasn't any of those, he was just a misinformed blowhard who thought his opinion carried the same weight as scientific fact. There seems to be more and more of those these days.

In any event, best of luck to the OP and I appreciate the compassion that you guys show them and even this misinformed blowhard.

A2

[OlGary]

It may not work for you, or may not have for some folks you know, but I've seen it work for many individuals in multiple cities over the past 25 years. I know folks whose lives were falling apart, whether it's sex, drugs or alcohol, and this is what did it for them (some "sober" for 20 years or more, including two family members for me).

Obviously different things work for different people and you have to find what works for you.

Addiction (including sex addiction) involves structural changes in the "reward system" of the brain which are irreversible. Therefore, addiction is an incurable disease in a sense that your brain will never be the same as it used to be before you became addicted. Don't kid yourself into believing that seeing a psychiatrist will solve your addiction problems — presently, there is no any reliable way to treat addiction, pharmacologically or psychotherapeutically. Of course, there are some people with extraordinary willpower capable of sobering up and staying sober for years. But they still have a desease, it didn't go away. They just suppress urges through extreme self-control.

[NiteWolf]

Fellas,

I have problem. I think I'm hook on this hobby. I know it not the safest hobby. But I find myself trying to go see my local MT, even I now I don't have the money. I use my CC and almost maxed it out. If I don't go for 2-3 days, I get these urges, like I'm going thru withdrawals. I want to control it, but sometimes I can't. The days I don't see my MT, I masturbate 2-3 x a day. I'm looking for any advice to slow myself down, so I want get to far into debt. It all started when my wife left me.

[Head First]

This is one source of comparison and information. http://www.billherring.com/comparing-different-12-step-meetings-for-sex-addiction

You can Google much more.

Good info. Good place to start. Good post.

[TwistedBrother]

There isn't an easy cure. The rush from trying someone new and different and forbidding is intoxicating and overwhelming. Not surprisingly, what works the best for the most people is a 12-step program. I had some success with it when I was interested and willing to work it, and I've seen others have life-changing success.

For better or worse, there isn't one universal program like Alcoholics Anonymous. Multiple folks started 12-step programs over the years with somewhat different (but similar) definitions of "sobriety. " They include Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and a few others. Some are available in some cities and some aren't, but chances you can get help of some kind nearby.

This is one source of comparison and information. http://www.billherring.com/comparing-different-12-step-meetings-for-sex-addiction

You can Google much more.

Guys I need some help here. I've met an amazing beautiful sexy lady and she satisfies my every wish problem is I still want to get a BJ when I see a new girl walking. I've had restraint for about a year so far but the desire is sometimes overwhelming. Has anyone been able to beat the addiction? I've been doing this for 30 years now. How do I stop.

[MeMonger]

Guys I need some help here. I've met an amazing beautiful sexy lady and she satisfies my every wish problem is I still want to get a BJ when I see a new girl walking. I've had restraint for about a year so far but the desire is sometimes overwhelming. Has anyone been able to beat the addiction? I've been doing this for 30 years now. How do I stop.

[Head First]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

Yes. It's a warning sign of danger in your future. Here's a couple of reasons why I say that:

1.) You binge. Right now you may not be doing it on a daily or weekly basis because when you do it you do enough of it to last for a while. Then you come back. If you continue, the time in between will become shorter and shorter and one day you'll find yourself doing it 3-7 X a week.

2.) You do it even when you can't afford it. Huge sign that's it's become more than entertainment. If we get to this point we've crossed the proverbial 'line in the sand.'

3.) You do it also when you're seeing someone. No need for any splaining here. But a word of advice. Don't think you're fooling her. Females are experts on picking up on the many clues that we leave behind when we're cheating and eventually they figure it out. If you're married be warned she's going to get 60% of everything. Is it worth it?

4.) You're here asking the questions. To use a play off your own mongering name, GloDuck55, and I don't mean any disrespect here. But if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck. It's probably a duck.

Do you have a problem? Come to your own conclusion but the first step in any successful recovery is admitting you have a problem.

We've all been / are still there. Don't expect any cures here. But we can offer support and free advice.

[TwistedBrother]

Ultimately, you have to be the final judge as to whether it's an addiction or not. It's not a matter of when, if or how much. It's a matter of whether you repeatedly do things you later regret, can't stop when you want to, and there's negative, unwanted effects on other areas of your life. When you say "need it now and can't focus" and "had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense," those sound like behaviors of an addict. Certainly sound like things I've thought and done and led to things I regretted later.

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

[AOneFred7734]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

9 years ago I saw my first girl on a Friday. And said no more. The next week a saw a different one every day! After 8 mo. I was at 120 different ones. Some more then once.

[GioDuck55]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

[Midwt2006]

Wow. Wow! Really its a great piece of advice. True from every word of it.

Also another approach you could take is to stop abruptly. I mean a complete stop. I did that successfully with my cigarette smoking addiction and my monger addiction. Just stop it. Don't do it and mentally tell yourself, you are never going to do it again. It might help. It's easier said than done, but worth trying.

I don't think that I could stop anything by going cold turkey. I just don't think it's in me. It's sad but probably true. Good thing I never started smoking cigarettes. I have enough trouble trying to limit my alcohol consumption. Maybe it would be different with clubbing. As HeadFirst said, it would be wise to find a different form of excitement / reward that appeals to me.

[Xelajo]

Yeah. I used to do the strip clubs. In my career as a monger it's at about the half way point. Looking back it didn't amount to many happy endings but it did help to transfer lots of my hard earned into the purses of some very pretty girls. Eventually I wised up to their game and settled into ***** houses, Reader, Gentleman pages, BP and CL girls. Now pretty much AMP's.

If you're hitting these places 2-3 X a week and wanting to cut back to 2-3 X a month, that's a good goal. But a hard one. If it's not working out for you, don't give up. Re evaluate and adjust. Maybe shoot for staying away for a week in the beginning. Then 10 days. 2 weeks. Then 3. Try to get to a month. See what happens.

Compare it with training to run a marathon. You don't go out and one day decide you want to run 26.2 miles and the next day do it. You got to prepare and condition. Same here.

What helped me also at one time was taking anti depressants. They zapped the hell out of my libido so in that respect they worked. But at the time I was married so I stopped taking them for fear of my ex straying.

You mentioned that you have fun 97% of the time. So you have to consider replacing whatever amount of fun you're going to give up with a different type of fun. When it comes right down to it I believe a lot of us use this hobby as a reward to ourselves for for something we think we deserve being rewarded for. Find something equally as fun to reward yourself. Go fishing. Or golfing. Maybe a concert. Buy a new car for yourself. Do something you've always wanted too.

This is a tough one to kick. I've gotten down to once a week /10 days, sometimes 2 weeks and I'm okay with that right now. Many people have done it before me and I want to join that group some day. Because if my daughter ever found out what her father does sometimes, I would never be able to look her in the eyes again (and vice versa) without her thinking what a pervert I am.

Wow. Wow! Really its a great piece of advice. True from every word of it.

Also another approach you could take is to stop abruptly. I mean a complete stop. I did that successfully with my cigarette smoking addiction and my monger addiction. Just stop it. Don't do it and mentally tell yourself, you are never going to do it again. It might help. It's easier said than done, but worth trying.