Sexual Addiction Reports

[Von1995]

I've been a "monger" for a bit over 10 years. There were periods during those years where I was insanely active. Paying for extras at strip clubs, dating escorts on Craigslist and Backpage, making rounds on the street, just going wherever I could get my nut off. At a certain point in that time I decided to propose to the girl I'd been dating on and off for a few years. I thought that'd be the changing moment. I actually fucked who I'd christened as my "last girl" the morning of the day I proposed. What a fucking joke, thinking I could force myself to change just because I was getting engaged. I've been married for six years now, and it's only been in these last two that I began doing the serious digging required to move the quitting needle in any significant way.

The thought of quitting was always playing silently in the background though. Four years ago, I started dating the girl who gave me my first BBFS experience. I dated her several more times, most times with no cover, and it became the thing I sought out in dates. I got so adept, I could tell from assessing a girl's pics whether or not she'd be likely to let me hit raw, and I was fairly accurate. During that time I had the STD scares (that fortunately turned out to be nothing) and hit a brief phase of deep depression, unbeknownst to my wife. A couple times I just sat in my car and cried before coming home from work. It made me start taking the hard look at myself, though. Who I was, what I thought of myself, and why I was like this.

This post really hit home with me.

I wish I'd known what I was in for when I started with this hobby. Seeing one or two girls a month turned into a year of daily visits and browsing escort sites for hours a day. It was like I discovered paradise and I couldn't help but to devote a significant portion of my day to it. I had an idea that I'd stop at some point and had a few "last girl" moments myself, but I knew deep down it was bullshit.

It was pure bliss initially. I'd always leave fully satisfied and with a smile on my face, but the more active I became the more I needed. I'm never fully satisfied with these women anymore, no matter how well the session goes. If anything I leave depressed knowing I'll have to wait until the next day before I get to do it again. The rush I get from setting up a date that peaks just as I'm walking in their door combined with the sex itself quickly turns into a depressed, low mood that stays with me throughout the day.

[Eyes1515]

Title says it all. PM for details!

[Earl2211]

Well. Its only a problem when it starts negatively impacting your life. Like this lifestyle as a broke as digital nomad isn't ideal.

Could always just actually get good at game and pick up girls, but sex as a service will still always have a place in my heart or pants.

I mean seriously, is it really that bad being addicted to something that feels so good? I actually think people not addicted are missing out LOL.

[Panyapinyaya]

Well. Its only a problem when it starts negatively impacting your life. Like this lifestyle as a broke as digital nomad isn't ideal.

Could always just actually get good at game and pick up girls, but sex as a service will still always have a place in my heart or pants.

[Head First]

I too think I have a problem.

It's only a problem till we find the solution. By admitting here, or anywhere, to us, or to anyone, that we have a problem, we've taken the first step towards a better life. Congrats to you.

Now what? Research is our friend. And persistence. Ask questions. Do some homework. Be careful though as sex addiction has a lot of connotations attached to it. Just a fair warning and not meant to deter you.

Addiction is a mental disease as well as a physical one. Get some professional advice / help. And just as important, get some real life advice / help too.

This is one way to think about it. I've been having a streak of things breaking down lately.

1.) My a / c went out. I'm not a mechanic so I took it to a shop and a couple hrs and a few hundred later, it was blowing cold air again. Problem fixed.

2.) In June it seemed like it rained everyday. One of my sump pumps went out and flooded the basement. I'm not a plumber but I know one so a couple hours and a few hundred later, a new pump was pumping again. Problem fixed.

3.) The ice maker in my freezer stopped spitting out cubes. I'm not an appliance repairman so I called one and a couple hours and a few hundred later, that was working again. Problem fixed.

4.) My lawn mower got a flat tire. So I jacked it up and got it off and took it to the tire repair shop. Couldn't be plugged but he had the same exact replacement I needed and for $30 I was back yo cutting the grass. Problem fixed.

5.) My phone was so old they kicked it off the system. Did some research and found a perfect replacement. Brought it home and my son helped me get it up and running. No problem.

What's my point. Most of us are very good at solving other problems. So why do we fail when it comes to fixing our mind / body. Idk. Maybe because we're reluctant to seek out (mental/medical) help. But we don't think twice about fixing other things that go wrong in our lives. Go figure.

By admitting we have a problem we're taking that first step. Don't be afraid to take that second one. Because every step we take towards the solution is one step further away from the problem.

[Doug Stamper]

I didn't know this exisited and from reding these posts I too think I have a problem.

Welcome Midnight. The thread activity level varies depending on participation. Why not get things going again by describing why you might be a sex addict?

[MidnightDabber]

I didn't know this exisited and from reding these posts I too think I have a problem.

[Snake27]

I don't know that any "observations" would hold up to universally explain any sexual behavior. Personal observations by their very nature are biased, and skewed to the experiences of one individual. The Kinsey studies showed and other studies since have shown that what we think we know about sexual behavior isn't always what is truly the case.

Scientific studies back this up, but I can certainly personally vouch that females are very promiscuous.

Studies show that women play around as much as men. In this sexually repressed society we just don't like to think that is the case.

When I wrote entry 619 I had in mind (by "promiscuity") how much men were keen on initiating sex with new partners. Perhaps I misused the definition of promiscuity, though, and its hard to measure "keenness" or eagerness. You even said in entry 618 "Testosterone is a powerful hormone. The average male has a sexual thought every few minutes". (your words).

I think you can also measure men's eagerness, qualitatively at least, from men's far greater interest in the sex industry; more men are involved in seeking prostitutes, pornography, strip clubs, etc. And I'm not saying that zero women are interested in those things, just much fewer.

However, for "promiscuity in practice" it would have to be the same for men and women since they have sex with each other, the sum of women multiplied by their frequency of sex act must equal to the same sum for men. It's a heterosexual sum rule, and you don't need a study, it's just arithmetic. So maybe we agree after all? LOL.

[PartyTimeGuy]

Sounds good. You're living the good life. Good for you. If I / we were you we wouldn't want to change either. Or would we?

Because many of us here have been there done that. Things change.

Why are you posting here? This section is for addicts that 'want' help for our addiction.

When / If that time comes for you, come back for a visit.

In the meantime here's an FYI. Your reports are loaded with triggers that may cause someone in recovery to have a slip. You wouldn't walk into an A. A. Meeting and boast about how you're drinking and partying like there's no tomorrow, asking "Who wants a free drink?" would you? Same thing here.

I think you need to rename the thread. I have offered a suggestion in my title.

Regarding my commentary: I didn't know you were the final arbiter for this thread and it's appropriate content. If you are, I have a suggestion for you: don't have a thread exclusively for recovering sex addicts on a website dedicated to finding women for sex! You are concerned about the content of my posts causing a relapse for someone in recovery? Have you ever noticed the banner ads all around your thread? Your admonishment about whatever I would post is laughable.

You are trying the equivalent of treating alcoholics in the midst of a drunken frat orgy, or, as a closer analogy, on a website for wine tasters.

[Head First]

Looking back on it, I have been sex addicted since I was conscious. I was playing doctor with the little girls in the neighborhood and kissing and fondling them well before adolescence and after puberty I was unstoppable.

I banged everything in sight for free through my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's. Since then I have had hundreds of SWs, UTRs, escorts, AMPs and my current preference: SBs. I have no SO, plenty of funds and plenty of spare time, so I don't see the downside of sexual addiction for me.

I hook up with local "good girls" all the time. I have a rotation of over a dozen sweet, pretty, college-aged SBs that I bang regularly. If time and money are not an issue, and you have the game to hire amateur young cuties, I don't see where sexual addiction is so much a problem as a very intense and satisfying hobby.

Sounds good. You're living the good life. Good for you. If I / we were you we wouldn't want to change either. Or would we?

Because many of us here have been there done that. Things change.

Why are you posting here? This section is for addicts that 'want' help for our addiction.

When / If that time comes for you, come back for a visit.

In the meantime here's an FYI. Your reports are loaded with triggers that may cause someone in recovery to have a slip. You wouldn't walk into an A. A. Meeting and boast about how you're drinking and partying like there's no tomorrow, asking "Who wants a free drink?" would you? Same thing here.

[PartyTimeGuy]

I think that part of the "proof" that men tend to be more promiscuous comes from studying homosexuals. Now explaining homosexuality needs a lot more complicated model than what I stated (I've tried) and would probably get me banned anyway, but there is a residual of regular sexuality in homosexuality, and the observation is simply that male homosexuals play around a lot more than female ones.

I don't know that any "observations" would hold up to universally explain any sexual behavior. Personal observations by their very nature are biased, and skewed to the experiences of one individual. The Kinsey studies showed and other studies since have shown that what we think we know about sexual behavior isn't always what is truly the case.

I'm not going to debate you that a lot of females are promiscuous and I will defer to your personal experience with women which, based on my reading of your posts (which I enjoy) greatly exceeds mine.

Scientific studies back this up, but I can certainly personally vouch that females are very promiscuous.

One other issue is that, if I remember the blood studies correctly, around 10% of females (more likely from lower socioeconomic classes) have children whose father is not the husband. Some men make better fathers than husbands. Clearly, some women are playing around. LOL. And the scientists who discovered this were very surprised. But then again, scientists don't get laid much, so of course they would be surprised. LOL. And don't ask me to quote references for the aforementioned studies. This is the internet.

Studies show that women play around as much as men. In this sexually repressed society we just don't like to think that is the case.

[PartyTimeGuy]

I am a sex addict and I have known this for a 10 years now.

Looking back on it, I have been sex addicted since I was conscious. I was playing doctor with the little girls in the neighborhood and kissing and fondling them well before adolescence and after puberty I was unstoppable.

But I use escort services and that requires money. Time is money. If I use escort, it takes about 30 mins to find her and go to her place, then 1 hour with her and 30 minutes back. That is a total of 2 hours. But if I am going to the bar and pick up girls, it will take tons of money and time. So I think it is better to be sex addict and use escorts. Especially if you read Las Vegas hooking-up article; https://hookuptravels.com/wiki/Las_Vegas.

I banged everything in sight for free through my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's. Since then I have had hundreds of SWs, UTRs, escorts, AMPs and my current preference: SBs. I have no SO, plenty of funds and plenty of spare time, so I don't see the downside of sexual addiction for me.

You will then realise it takes much less time to hire an escort than hook-up with a local "good" girl.

I hook up with local "good girls" all the time. I have a rotation of over a dozen sweet, pretty, college-aged SBs that I bang regularly. If time and money are not an issue, and you have the game to hire amateur young cuties, I don't see where sexual addiction is so much a problem as a very intense and satisfying hobby.

[Spacey]

Don't mind me. Posting to keep track of the thread.

[Snake27]

I think that part of the "proof" that men tend to be more promiscuous comes from studying homosexuals. Now explaining homosexuality needs a lot more complicated model than what I stated (I've tried) and would probably get me banned anyway, but there is a residual of regular sexuality in homosexuality, and the observation is simply that male homosexuals play around a lot more than female ones.

I'm not going to debate you that a lot of females are promiscuous and I will defer to your personal experience with women which, based on my reading of your posts (which I enjoy) greatly exceeds mine.

One other issue is that, if I remember the blood studies correctly, around 10% of females (more likely from lower socioeconomic classes) have children whose father is not the husband. Some men make better fathers than husbands. Clearly, some women are playing around. LOL. And the scientists who discovered this were very surprised. But then again, scientists don't get laid much, so of course they would be surprised. LOL. And don't ask me to quote references for the aforementioned studies. This is the internet.

Your musings are interesting but research does not back it up. In fact, women are just as likely to be promiscuous as men, contrary to widely held popular beliefs to the contrary. This is true not only in our culture but in cultures throughout the world. I could cite numerous studies affirming this, and here is but one example: ttps://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/are-...us-sex-0704135 Search the subject on the internet. The conclusions of many studies are similar.

In my own personal experience I have found that many young women are interested in a SB role simply when asked the right way. I have recruited literally hundreds of them "in the wild" so to speak. Women are just as likely as men to be sexually bored with a monogamous relationship and/or seek sexual experiences with strangers. They tend not to be as overt about it as men, but the desire for promiscuity and action upon it are no less than for men.

[PartyTimeGuy]

Here's a short essay I wrote for an SB I dated. She was impressed, although in the meantime she's decided she doesn't like me.

The difference between men and women can be understood using an energy model. The energy required for reproduction is different. Women have a 9 month gestation period, which is a major investment in energy, while men in principle only need to have sex to contribute to making a baby, which is a small investment in energy. Women also tend to do more of the child-rearing, another big energy investment.

Here is where morality steps in, however. Morality is the resolution of a conflict of desires; the women desire that the men invest a similar amount of energy through long-term commitment to child rearing to help produce a well-developed offspring. Society supports this moral precept and teaches the males from an early age to respect women and to commit to a relationship.

Many men will attempt to adopt a two-prong approach to reproduction: to have a wife and family, while secretly pursuing short affairs outside of marriage. The women, because of the energy required, are more circumspect about their choices, which thwarts the efforts of most men. However, some women will exploit a man's relative promiscuity to profit economically -- what sugarbabies (prostitutes) do.

Your musings are interesting but research does not back it up. In fact, women are just as likely to be promiscuous as men, contrary to widely held popular beliefs to the contrary. This is true not only in our culture but in cultures throughout the world. I could cite numerous studies affirming this, and here is but one example: ttps://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/are-...us-sex-0704135 Search the subject on the internet. The conclusions of many studies are similar.

In my own personal experience I have found that many young women are interested in a SB role simply when asked the right way. I have recruited literally hundreds of them "in the wild" so to speak. Women are just as likely as men to be sexually bored with a monogamous relationship and/or seek sexual experiences with strangers. They tend not to be as overt about it as men, but the desire for promiscuity and action upon it are no less than for men.