Sexual Addiction Reports

[Atheistically]

So how exactly IS a willingly, knowingly, and VOLUNTARILY engaged in BEHAVIOR, somehow a "disease"? Please explain HOW you "catch it" involuntarily! Pleaser learn to take responsibility for YOUR OWN ACTIONS! No one has a gun to your head. Not even a sex drive. It's time to grow up now!

Hey. You're a sex addict and you admit it but you think you're smarter than the disease and as long as you're not hurting anybody or yourself you're going to do it for as long as you live. You know what? You may very well do exactly that. So go do it.

What's your point in coming here? To be honest, I don't want to hear about people like you that can have their cake and eat it too. In fact I don't like people like you! It's seems not fair to me that you can do this as much and as often as you do and not suffer any consequences but I can't. So if you don't mind would you just go away and not come back to this topic. You don't want help. You just want to brag. Go brag somewhere else.

Buh-bye.

[Head First]

I have been thinking of this addiction and how it applies to me for quite a while. Does it really control me to where I can't function responsibly? I have even gone to the extent to take several online tests to see how addicted I really am. The results advise I get professional counseling for this "Problem". That prompts another question I ask myself. Why would I want to be convinced that I have a problem with something so pleasurable in my life and have somebody try to convince me that I am a bad person and have to change? I see no upside to this. I might have maybe fifteen or so years left of being able to enjoy the feelings I get from sexual satisfaction. So there you have it, I have a addiction to sex. So what? I'm not going to do anything about it but enjoy having sex anyway I can without feeling guilty about it. I admit I'm addicted to sex.

Hey. You're a sex addict and you admit it but you think you're smarter than the disease and as long as you're not hurting anybody or yourself you're going to do it for as long as you live. You know what? You may very well do exactly that. So go do it.

What's your point in coming here? To be honest, I don't want to hear about people like you that can have their cake and eat it too. In fact I don't like people like you! It's seems not fair to me that you can do this as much and as often as you do and not suffer any consequences but I can't. So if you don't mind would you just go away and not come back to this topic. You don't want help. You just want to brag. Go brag somewhere else.

Buh-bye.

[Admin2]

What I question is what defines a form of sex addiction?

If you have a question he has the answer.

https://www.amazon.com/Out-Shadows-U.../dp/1568386214

[USABarry]

I am intrigued by Snake27's observations and I have some questions and comments if you don't mind. Snake is right on with the opening statement "I think we have to be careful to equate sex addiction with drug addiction. " I liken this addiction to sex more in line with an addiction to gambling or even running and sports participation. The emotional high you get from the result of sexual contact can be like winning a wager on a close game or even the adrenaline rush from completing a marathon. You just can't wait to do it again. All of this is a product of the mind with no interactivity with a substance. Placing a wager on a game while in progress and 10 - 20 minutes later the long field goal or one handed catch that covers the wager leads the mind to become euphoric over the outcome. It's much like the same feeling of euphoria maybe a few minutes to an hour or so after orgasm at the hand of a beautiful woman. It can last for days and make you want to return for more. This all happens without the need for a drug of some form to make it so.

When Snake states "there is some hope to control it, the same way you control any behavior. " and "that there are two halves (to the mind)" equating to two people or in reality two personalities that can "talk the other out of doing certain things" it hits the mark with myself. I also have arguments with myself often about what is the best course of action.

What I question is what defines a form of sex addiction? Snake has moved through the available scenarios of sexual contact in his hobbying and has been enjoying a "sugar baby". But I believe that Snakes progress from one sexual encounter to another is because he, like the gambler wagering again and again, wants or needs to return for more. It's all sex addiction no matter how it is satisfied. I am much the same way as I have to have the euphoric feeling fulfilled over and over. I can't help myself but do control the addiction to an extent because my other personality helps with that control. I am addicted to getting that feeling and I used to get it often at home so there was no need to look outside the marriage.

Things changed within the relationship but my need didn't. So I went outside the marriage eventually, became guilty after the first encounter, confessed openly, and to my surprise am allowed to continue. It sounds like, based on Snakes statement that "My family (mainly my wife) will grant me a fun budget", that he also has permission to indulge within reason. Are my summations correct? If so do any of you and your partners have an agreement in order for you to partake in this hobby? If you feel the need to not answer or comment to any of this I understand.

I have been thinking of this addiction and how it applies to me for quite a while. Does it really control me to where I can't function responsibly? I have even gone to the extent to take several online tests to see how addicted I really am. The results advise I get professional counseling for this "Problem". That prompts another question I ask myself. Why would I want to be convinced that I have a problem with something so pleasurable in my life and have somebody try to convince me that I am a bad person and have to change? I see no upside to this. I might have maybe fifteen or so years left of being able to enjoy the feelings I get from sexual satisfaction. So there you have it, I have a addiction to sex. So what? I'm not going to do anything about it but enjoy having sex anyway I can without feeling guilty about it. I admit I'm addicted to sex.

[Snake27]

I think we have to be careful to equate sex addiction with drug addiction. Health professionals are reluctant to even acknowledge that the former exists as a separate disorder. It may be wrapped up in other known disorders. These disorders are products of the mind, unlike a physical addiction to a substance like heroin. It seems to me that if it's a product of the mind then there is some hope to control it, the same way you control any behavior. I've read a bit about the mind. It's interesting that there are two halves, which have a fair amount of redundancy. For example, when a part on the left is damaged, it may be rewired through therapy to operate on the right. There are, in effect, two people in your brain and they even have different personalities. One half can talk the other out of doing certain things. I know it works with me, as I have arguments with myself often about what's best to do. There's also an emotional processing center whose job it is to render decisions about complex problems with imperfect or incomplete information input. I'll admit I'm not an expert on any of this stuff, but it's what I've read and good enough for this forum, LOL.

In the last few years I've been immune from all forms of sex addiction except for sugar babies. I certainly don't judge anyone for liking street prostitution or other stuff because I've been there done that. It's just that I've gotten older, the fires are cooler, and I find what's available unappealing. But now a sugar baby, OMG! A pretty young woman who kisses you and admires you and is nice to you -- that is addictive! But expensive. And my main tool to control this addiction has been keeping a careful budget. I recently had a nearly 4 month affair with a SB, which I ended when I realized I was going to have a hard time paying for some expenses that were coming up this summer. I have a family and they tend to take what they know should be available, given my income. My family (mainly my wife) will grant me a "fun budget" but an SB costs about twice my normal fun budget. So I ended the SB / SD relationship and told her the honest explanation why. The SB, who was very sweet, said she understood and I could come back when my situation changes. For now I'm going cold turkey while saving money. Maybe I relapse in September? I don't know.

[Doug Stamper]

What do you mean by trauma?
Cessation doesn't cause me severe trauma. I often have to pause the hobby due to family events / trips or work related priorities or because of review sites being down (as they have been recently). But I don't suffer anything that can be described as trauma. I could easily see myself segueing into another hobby. But I continue because I like it. And we only live once.

I quickly pulled that definition off the web. Perhaps trauma is a bit of a stretch. But not much. Ever see an addict that needs a fix? Here are the behavioral characteristics of a drug addict. When you read them, mentally change every mention of the word drugs with SEX. That is how it is with me. You said you could move to another hobby. That is fantastic news for you. I have tried; more times than I can count. I am unable to quit.

Obsessive thoughts and actions:

Acquiring and using the drug become the main priorities of life while all or most other obligations including work, family, or school are sidelined.

Disregard of harm caused:

Although the drug abuse is causing physical and mental distress to the individual and their loved ones, the person struggling with addiction continues using drugs or alcohol.

Loss of control:

Even in the face of wanting to stop or reduce their drug use, the person cannot do so.

Denial of addiction or hiding drug use:

When confronted, the person battling addiction will deny or downplay their drug use. To avoid having to explain themselves to others, the person may do drugs in secret.

[Luex7]

I find myself maybe being to much into this time to time where I just have to resist. Since I am in CO, weed seems to help a ton for me LOL if the urge get's to crazy.

One night drank a lot, smoked a lot. I don't think I could even get a stiffy for a few days, was starting to get worried LOL. Once cleared my system fully though, came back all good.

I do think of myself at times, to be 'border line', was bad for a while but I've improved.

Just use to take off randomly in middle of night and try to find a pickup, where I could be looping for hours to find something good.

Couple experiences though, changed that mind set quite fast. Doing it so freely at least.

[Glennie]

What do you mean by trauma?

Cessation doesn't cause me severe trauma. I often have to pause the hobby due to family events / trips or work related priorities or because of review sites being down (as they have been recently). But I don't suffer anything that can be described as trauma. I could easily see myself segueing into another hobby. But I continue because I like it. And we only live once.

I hope so too. Trying to limit risk, but what can I do?

I'm an addict.

ADDICT = (Noun.) The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

[TwistedBrother]

I was really trying to cut back (hopefully stop completely) and stay truer to my marriage. At least I wanted to refrain from mongering except while traveling. For a while I was doing better, but I've relapsed considerably in the past 3-4 months, to the point where I've BBFS at a local AMP twice in the past month. And that's just part of it, taking all sorts of my time, money and more. So conflicted as part of me is excited about these new adventures, and part of me dreads losing the quality of my marriage as well as much more.

I want to stop now, but already have plans for tomorrow, then want to stop after that. Crazy, no doubt.

[Doug Stamper]

Hope you don't cause tremendous grief in your personal life this time.

I hope so too. Trying to limit risk, but what can I do?

I'm an addict.

ADDICT = (Noun.) The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

My name is Doug, and I am a sex addict.

For several years, I regularly contributed to this forum. That was over 10 years ago. I had well over 100 posts. The majority of them, unlike this one, contained real information intended help others. Then came a day when my membership here caused me tremendous grief in my personal life. I retreated from this site and the hobby for a long time. I thought I could change who I was and what I had been doing. I found new ways to occupy my time, new things to think about. I tried to keep the my secret inner beast at bay. I was successful for awhile. Just when I thought I was out, this thing pulled me back in. Slowly at first, then more and more often I looked here for information which I put to "good" use in my quests. I really should have rejoined the ranks of the posters some time ago. But I felt like doing so would be an acknowledgement that I had completely relapsed. Well, turns out the only person I was fooling was myself. So here I am again.

[MeyghaMann]

My name is Doug, and I am a sex addict.

For several years, I regularly contributed to this forum. That was over 10 years ago. I had well over 100 posts. The majority of them, unlike this one, contained real information intended help others. Then came a day when my membership here caused me tremendous grief in my personal life. I retreated from this site and the hobby for a long time. I thought I could change who I was and what I had been doing. I found new ways to occupy my time, new things to think about. I tried to keep the my secret inner beast at bay. I was successful for awhile. Just when I thought I was out, this thing pulled me back in. Slowly at first, then more and more often I looked here for information which I put to "good" use in my quests. I really should have rejoined the ranks of the posters some time ago. But I felt like doing so would be an acknowledgement that I had completely relapsed. Well, turns out the only person I was fooling was myself. So here I am again.

Hope you don't cause tremendous grief in your personal life this time.

[Doug Stamper]

My name is Doug, and I am a sex addict.

For several years, I regularly contributed to this forum. That was over 10 years ago. I had well over 100 posts. The majority of them, unlike this one, contained real information intended help others. Then came a day when my membership here caused me tremendous grief in my personal life. I retreated from this site and the hobby for a long time. I thought I could change who I was and what I had been doing. I found new ways to occupy my time, new things to think about. I tried to keep the my secret inner beast at bay. I was successful for awhile. Just when I thought I was out, this thing pulled me back in. Slowly at first, then more and more often I looked here for information which I put to "good" use in my quests. I really should have rejoined the ranks of the posters some time ago. But I felt like doing so would be an acknowledgement that I had completely relapsed. Well, turns out the only person I was fooling was myself. So here I am again.

[Head First]

I've been doing it more than three decades

A2.

High 5 to you. It's rare to hear of someone with so many years. The world is a better place because of this decision you made years ago.

Me too. It hasn't always been easy but it has been worthwhile.

My goal / legacy is to get to 50 years (2031). At that point I feel this one achievement will trump any failure (s) I had in life.

One morning 13 mos ago my younger brother didn't wake up. He died with a bottle in his hand.

Some people get it. Some don't. But For The Grace Of God ... There I Walk.

[Member #5605]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was deleted because the content of the report was pointless, unproductive drama. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. Thank You!

Look man, I'm sorry your mommy or daddy let you down so badly and it turned you into a rage o holic but I'm not going to let you abuse people here.

Maybe you can help me with something though. Why is it you guys who insist on calling people snowflakes are the ones that do the most crying? It's the case every time.

Sorry man, you can't do this anymore. I know you think you have an ownership stake on this forum but you don't and you have been abusing people for years and you're going to have to adjust that it's over.

A2

PS, I'm not censoring you, I'm muzzling you.

[OlGary]

Did you miss the part where I specifically told you that it isn't about that for me? Just curious, who do you think knows more about my life? You? Or me?

In my case it has nothing to do with will nor self control. I'm not guessing at that, this is not something I think, it's something I know. I'm informing you about that. It's not a discussion, it's not open to your interpretation, it's information I'm giving you. It's like if you told me your name. If you told me your name was Joe and I said "no it's Steve" I would look kind of stupid no? So if I tell you that in my case, in my experience, it's not about self will nor self control and that in fact I am totally lacking those characteristics and you tell me that I am incorrect and that having never met me you know more about me than I do, how do you think that makes you look?

Yeah, just that stupid. Please don't argue with me about this. As with the other guy your opinion doesn't hold the weight of fact. Especially when you are putting your opinion against my experience of my very own life.

A2.

Sorry man, I apologize for that.

Cool, this is you being the exact opposite of dumb. Thanks, I appreciate it.

A2