Safe Sex Information and Advice

**Barry101** · 12-06-17 16:27

Great information.

I know that I am safe and my risk is minimal. I would never think that I would be this woman's "only" but I trust her to know risk and we discussed it at length.

Having the information to make an informed decision is key!

Thanks again for a very thoughtful response. I appreciate it!

Barry.

Originally Posted by CephlapodLove [View Original Post]

"safety" is all about risk. How one perceives risk and what levels of risk on is willing to take.

Problem is that humans are inherently terrible at perceiving risk, understanding it ad managing it. Oh sure, we are smart enough not to walk into a cage with a hungry lion, but other things that are less concrete and more abstract we all perceive risk differently.

Even now with the politicization of science, many now distrust facts and think they are rhetoric. Also human emotion what it is, we have evolved to a place where we feel we have to be "right" all of the time and take a position and be unmovable on it, even on line (where we could rightly learn something).

So how one perceives risk and what level of risk one wants to take and how one manages that risk are all factors. It isn't one simple answer.

On one of these threads is some detailed scientific information on the rates of transmission of each STD from one partner to another. Rates are relatively low overall for female to male transmission. Also, the condition of one's penis matters too: the skin is a nice barrier- but if the skin is compromised in some way (cut, sore, opening, rash, chaffed, etc) it can lead to higher transmission. Also anal sex is a significant level of higher risk. Then the likelihood of a girl having something to catch is key too..

**Cephlapod Love** · 12-06-17 12:35

https://wwwn.cdc.gov/hivrisk/estimator.html#-sb.

**Cephlapod Love** · 12-06-17 12:14

Just read the replies to the ordinal message (after I had replied).

Yeah, I see where they are coming from. Sure a girl can tell ten guys that he is the only one she is having BB sex with. The reason they do that is that most guys won't date a girl who offers BB sex as they perceive it as too risky. But I have found, when pressed and questioned appropriately (non accusatorily) that many girls will report how many dudes they offer bb sex too. I have observed that is often just a few and not large numbers and usually only the married guys that see them regularly (at least weekly). But hey, I believe most people are inherently truthful and when given an "out" to avoid PC backlash will be honest. That said, add addiction into the mix and throw that idea in the waste bin. Also found that those who have no compunction about lying them selves usually don't trust anyone.

But yeah, back in the 80's or 90's when the mass HIV public "education" was going on, there was a lot of rhetoric. Things like sleeping with someone means you are sleeping with everyone they slept with in the last 10-years. Yeah, I get that concept and understand why it was used (fear factor), but let me ask this - does someone getting tested for a full panel of STDs break that chain? If someone tests clean, then they did't get anything from all those people from the last 10 years!

And then there is the "she looks clean" stuff. Yes that is a good point. No one an tell by just looking. But that was a scare tactic to push HIV infection into the "unknown" and thus play with the normal psyche and mess with our abilities to process rationally the facts. The point is that TESTING proves a girl is clean. Most all test sites will provide paperwork proof.

Oh and then there is the myth, from old technology (think brick cell phones) that a person isn't clean until they have two clean test results 3-month apart. Problem is that is based on the old technology of HIV testing that looks for antibodies to the virus. Yes, in SOME people it might take as long as 3-month for their body to create antibodies to the HIV virus. But new technology exists (think tablets & smart phones) that can detect the actual virus as soon as 10-days time! So yeah, if one wants to be assured they are clean, make sure you are using the antigen test (new technology).

Also, let's think rationally about the science. If a girl has sex with an HIV+ dude (Guy1) on Day 1 and does indeed get the virus, at what date has the virus replicated enough, so that there is a high enough "load" of HIV in her system such that it CAN be transmitted to Guy2? If modern science (antigen testing) can't detect it until 10-days, is the load large enough to be transmitted?

The CDC has a new tool out there one can use to evaluate risk of HIV infection.

https://wwwn.cdc.gov/hivrisk/

Use it to get knowledgeable on the topic!

I know for me that fear comes from a lack of knowledge. Once I understood the facts of risk, transmission and prevalence of STDs I was better able to manage my risk on a rational rather than emotional basis. While fear is a good thing and a way to avoid stepping into the lion cage, it didn't need to cloud my judgement.

Remember condoms are a tried and true method of being protective and reducing risk. If condoms don't work for you, perhaps you are using the wrong ones?

**Cephlapod Love** · 12-06-17 11:39

Originally Posted by Barry101 [View Original Post]

I am not saying that I would engage in unprotected sex with a massage girl if she initiated it and assured me she was safe, but, what do you guys think?

Some of these massage girls seem cleaner than the girls who get picked up for one night stands?

A lot of my friends sleep with tons of women and never wear condoms. I know that it only takes one time to get a bad STD but if the girl isn't a drug user and is clean?

Just curious.

Thank you.

Barry.

"safety" is all about risk. How one perceives risk and what levels of risk on is willing to take.

Problem is that humans are inherently terrible at perceiving risk, understanding it ad managing it. Oh sure, we are smart enough not to walk into a cage with a hungry lion, but other things that are less concrete and more abstract we all perceive risk differently.

Even now with the politicization of science, many now distrust facts and think they are rhetoric. Also human emotion what it is, we have evolved to a place where we feel we have to be "right" all of the time and take a position and be unmovable on it, even on line (where we could rightly learn something).

So how one perceives risk and what level of risk one wants to take and how one manages that risk are all factors. It isn't one simple answer.

On one of these threads is some detailed scientific information on the rates of transmission of each STD from one partner to another. Rates are relatively low overall for female to male transmission. Also, the condition of one's penis matters too: the skin is a nice barrier- but if the skin is compromised in some way (cut, sore, opening, rash, chaffed, etc) it can lead to higher transmission. Also anal sex is a significant level of higher risk. Then the likelihood of a girl having something to catch is key too.

Oh, I know, back in the 80's when HIV / AIDS was discovered there was a huge campaign to "educate" the public. Unfortunately that education, based on old information (like a brick telephone) is out dated. But many stick to that rhetoric as if it were fact and religion. But the fact is that less than 2% of the population is living with HIV. Drill into the numbers and 60% of those are men who have sex with men. Drill further and one will see that the rate of white women living with HIV is less than 2-tenths of a percent, <0. 2%. The rate for Asian women is even less.

Also know that there is nothing out there today that will kill you, especially since everyone has Obamacare.

As far as AMP girls go. I am reminded of the common knowledge / advice given to dudes visiting Thailand. If you are going to go with a girl, choose a go-go or beer bar girl as those establishments make sure the girls are checked and medically cleared. The "freelancers" or SWers may not have been checked and thus have a higher risk.

So if you are scared of "one time" being all it takes to catch an STD, then stay out of the hobby and be monogamous (100% safe) or use condoms 100% of the time with a known, tested-clean girl! If one is willing to accept some risk. Do some research & find out the transmission rates, things one can do to lower risk and make a rational decision, not an emotional one.

With the new thinner condoms, many of the issues of why dudes don't like them may be gone. So give them a try.

**Aruba1234** · 12-06-17 11:06

Are you seriously going to believe her?

As they say on ESPN. Come on man.

Yes, she makes you feel like its all about you.

That's part of her charm. But, in reality you ain't the only one. She says is to all of us.

Originally Posted by TwoNutts [View Original Post]

Don't be a fool. And never believe a girl that tells you ONLY YOU.

**Lou Jack** · 12-06-17 00:26

Originally Posted by Barry101 [View Original Post]

I am not saying that I would engage in unprotected sex with a massage girl if she initiated it and assured me she was safe, but, what do you guys think?

Some of these massage girls seem cleaner than the girls who get picked up for one night stands?

A lot of my friends sleep with tons of women and never wear condoms. I know that it only takes one time to get a bad STD but if the girl isn't a drug user and is clean?

Just curious.

Thank you.

Barry.

DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT think about doing that. When it comes to paying for sex, you're pretty much playing a game of Russian roulette. Most of these girls have something or are going to catch something at some point.

It will never be worth the risk. I can tell by the question itself you're somewhat young, but back in the 90's there were HIV prevention ads that said stuff about not going by "she LOOKS clean. ".

**Two Nutts** · 12-05-17 20:51

Originally Posted by Barry101 [View Original Post]

I am not saying that I would engage in unprotected sex with a massage girl if she initiated it and assured me she was safe, but, what do you guys think?

Some of these massage girls seem cleaner than the girls who get picked up for one night stands?

A lot of my friends sleep with tons of women and never wear condoms. I know that it only takes one time to get a bad STD but if the girl isn't a drug user and is clean?

Just curious.

Thank you.

Barry.

Don't be a fool. And never believe a girl that tells you ONLY YOU.

**Barry101** · 12-05-17 16:48

I am not saying that I would engage in unprotected sex with a massage girl if she initiated it and assured me she was safe, but, what do you guys think?

Some of these massage girls seem cleaner than the girls who get picked up for one night stands?

A lot of my friends sleep with tons of women and never wear condoms. I know that it only takes one time to get a bad STD but if the girl isn't a drug user and is clean?

Just curious.

Thank you.

Barry.

**Cephlapod Love** · 12-04-17 18:57

Originally Posted by Freedom2B [View Original Post]

The problem is, it feels SOOOO good to a man. If you only knew. Sex BB is like sex, Sex with a cover is not like sex, but an effort or more like work to try to feel good and try to be pleased with it and THAT is part of why BBBJ is a great alternative for guys. Quite safer for both and an extremely great feeling if done right, vs. A layer of latex and the issues that causes.

I have found that the THICKNESS of a condom, the material it is constructed of and the size make a HUGE difference in the way covered sex feels! Oh sure, I use to be unknowledgeable about this and would just grab whatever condom was cheapest or whatever the girl provided. And yeah, as OP pointed out it was often an unpleasant experience playing with the wrong condom.

But who ever heard of thicknesses of condoms? Can't say I had ever heard it discussed much. Then one day I found a website that sold condoms and had tons of educational material. I discovered that the standard condom was 0. 070 mm thick. OK cool, whatever that means. But then I discovered that there were "thin" condoms that are 0. 055 MM thick and 0. 045 mm thick! I bought a bunch of these and YES! They made a difference!

In fact, recently had an experience with a FWB. I visited her twice in a week. First time I used the "thin" ones (0. 045 mm) and had an OK date. The second time, I brought a thin one (0. 045 mm) and a Magnum (0. 080 mm). Tossed the covers on the night stand and when it came time she suited me up. It was a terrible date as the sensation wasn't there and I didn't pop. As I left and picked up the unused condom I noted that it was the Magnum that had been used. So it was that extra thickness that lead to the lack of feeling for me. (she had a great time).

You can see the thicknesses of standard condoms here:

http://kimono-condoms.com/condom-size

Look at the ribbed condoms. Some are as thick as 0. 121 mm! WOW. Pleasure for her, a HUGE buffer for the dude!

But the story doesn't end there! A friend from overseas pointed out that I was living in the past and the world has evolved! The standard "thinnest" condoms out there are now 0. 020 mm thick! That is half the thickness of the "standard" Thin condoms and WAY thinner than the average, 0. 070 mm. So look for the 002 condoms as they are marketed. I think the original ones are SAGAMI ORIGINALs. These are Japanese manufactured condoms that you have to buy overseas or off of ebay as I have never seen them in USA stores nor at most USA online condom retailers. Oh and technology marches on, there are now condoms that are 0. 018 mm thick. But can anyone feel the difference between 0. 020 and 0. 18 mm? The cost of the 0. 018 mm ones are like 3 times as expensive.

Now all of that said, YMMV. Had a buddy who used "whatever" condoms and one day I gave him a bunch of the 0. 055 mm thin ones to use with a FB on a trip. He reported he couldn't tell the difference. But for me I sure CAN tell the difference! The thinner the condom the better!

Also a consideration is the material that condoms are made of. Oh sure for years there have been lamb skin condoms as it was felt that they had better heat transfer. But the standard condom is constructed with latex. Not so good for those with allergies or those who want heat transfer. So the new "world's thinnest" condoms are made of polyurethane which transfers heat much better. So material does matter.

The final comment is about the size of a condom. If one does research they will see that condoms vary in length and diameter. How this matters is if one gets a condom that fits too tight it can deaden the sensations. So remember, if one is average or larger, then the original size of a Japanese condom might be a bit snug. (apparently the average Japanese dude is smaller) They do make a larger version of the Sagami's however.

**XRay1** · 11-11-17 08:12

I had Hpv a few years ago. The easiest way to check your self. Is to spray Vinegar all over your junk and balls. Warts turn white when exposed to vinegar. (takes a few minutes to turn white).

If you do, nor fret they are incredibly easy to get rid of.

Now the way I did it was use abit of oil and cover the unexposed area with patrolium jelly. Now take a clove of garlic and cut a slice that fits over the region that has Hpv. Tape the garlic to it with sports tape. Change a few times a few. The wart will turn black and fall off. You will have a scab where it was. Takes about 2 weeks to heal. I spray vinegar after every incounter now. No reinfection. I also spray alittle up my urthrea (it's not bad) after every encounter.

I swear by it, started doing it a few years ago and no std's yet.

Out of well over 100+ encounteres BBFS BBBJ past year, still Clean. (I get myself checked every four months).

There must be something to it.

**LightYagami** · 10-22-17 22:08

Originally Posted by BTBear [View Original Post]

According to the CDC it is.

https://m.acog.org/Resources-And-Pub...MobileSet=true

The Hobby has risks. Do your own research and determine your own risk assessment.

If you think you can't get infected by oral, you are wrong. It has happened to me twice in 30 years. Is it a risk that I am willing to take, yes.

I mainly posted what I did to try to make people do the research. Too many people go on hearsay. I do not. Both times that I got chlamydia I had open discussions with my doctor. The conclusion from both discussions was oral and vaginal sex have the same risks.

Did you read this article? Because the closest statement they make to a conclusion is the exact opposite of what you are saying. Nowhere in this article do they mention what you have said.

"The role of noncoital sexual activity in the transmission of other nonviral infections, such as vulvovaginal candidiasis, bacterial vaginosis, and trichomoniasis, remains unclear (10). ".

**BTBear** · 10-20-17 07:46

Originally Posted by LightYagami [View Original Post]

It is not the same risk, BBBJ and BBFS, and I encourage everyone that has questions to do research and consult with your doctor.

According to the CDC it is.

https://m.acog.org/Resources-And-Pub...MobileSet=true

The Hobby has risks. Do your own research and determine your own risk assessment.

If you think you can't get infected by oral, you are wrong. It has happened to me twice in 30 years. Is it a risk that I am willing to take, yes.

I mainly posted what I did to try to make people do the research. Too many people go on hearsay. I do not. Both times that I got chlamydia I had open discussions with my doctor. The conclusion from both discussions was oral and vaginal sex have the same risks.

**LightYagami** · 10-18-17 17:22

Originally Posted by BTBear [View Original Post]

Yes it is out there. The ladies who do it are taking more risk than the men and most will say it is YMMV and at their discretion.

In many cases if the lady feels safe with you she will just proceed to doing it without asking. For those who won't, they will have the condom ready and waiting.

The question was raised as to why BBBJ and BBFS are linked in the same forum? For the educated it makes sense. BBBJ and BBFS have the same STD risk, so if you do one, then you should not be afraid of the other. Over my almost year 30 hobby life, I have gotten Chlamydia twice and in both cases it came from BBBJ, and it was from reputable, top tier ladies. I have also received the dreaded, "I think you should be tested. " phone call once. That instance proved to be negative, but it goes to show you that even if you and the lady are tested regularly, you can only claim that you are truely clean up to the next time you get a BBBJ.

The most risky act, BBANAL is never talked about. It is about the only way a man can get HIV from a woman sexually. The anus was not meant to take the stress of sex. The sphincter will tear and bleed. Blood equals risk for both parties. It is rumored that BBANAL is what made Magic Johnson HIV positive, his wife stayed clean while getting pregnant by him. Think about that a bit.

Because of the risk to the woman, BBFS should have an upcharge and should be at the lady's choice. If you are one of the ones that ask for it, then only ask once. If the answer is "No" then move on to CFS. Begging, bartering and attempted negotiation is a juvenile and unmanly thing to do.

It is not the same risk, BBBJ and BBFS, and I encourage everyone that has questions to do research and consult with your doctor.

**FarFarAway** · 10-18-17 13:44

There is a lot of media discussion about HPV levels in the US population right now. It says that 1 in 9 of us guys have oral HPV, presumably by DATY, though in point of fact, rates are higher among men who have sex with men. Anyway, a question is what we can do about this. Young people these days are being offered vaccines for HPV, Gardasil and another brand name. They are only recommended in the US up to 26 years of age. So, if you limit your partners to young women who had the shot, you should be fine. LOL. I wondered about other countries, and found out this about Canada, in a Canadian health magazine:

* didn't even consider getting the vaccine until he contracted genital warts. He says: "I first considered the vaccine out of fear. The genital warts were a nuisance and having them frozen off over a period of months was physically uncomfortable. It was a condition and treatment that I'd never want to experience again. ".

Even though Gardasil does not protect against HPV strains already contracted, it does against others, so * went through with his vaccination. He recently received his third and final dose and says that to him, prevention is paramount. "I see myself as equally responsible for the safety and well-being of my partners," he says. "The peace of mind alone is worth the cost and hassle. ".

Despite being 30-years-old. Over the recommended maximum age of 26 for men, * experienced no problems in getting his prescription. According to Dr. * since the Gardasil vaccine has now been approved for use in women up to age 45, it makes sense to do the same for men.

So, maybe us geezers can head north of the border and get it.