Streetwalker Reports

**CBusMonger1** · 04-12-20 10:34

Originally Posted by Jd2011 [View Original Post]

I've blessed alleys with my holy water but never dropped mud. You are correct though, there are not many public restroom options in the hunting areas. When you got to go, you got to go. It's upsetting to me to see the amount of trash on the streets in these areas. I often see the indigenous natives throwing away junk on the ground in plain sight without a care in the world. The deserve to wake up to human shit on the porches or wherever they call home.

There is plenty of porta shitters around with all the road construction in cbus. I have used them many of times.

**Humpty Dumpty** · 04-11-20 18:57

It was Friday night. While you kids were cowering in your houses, clutching your hoarded toilet paper, and watching fake news or "Tiger Queer", I decided to go the west side in search of a lady with whom to have unprotected sex. First Hudson. Saw a possible BTV at the Marathon station where bums and junkies hang out. Gross! On to Parsons. One ugly woman was out. On to Sullivant. Every block had an "essential employee" or three on it! None were up to my standards though. I texted Kirstie L, KK, Blue, and the mystery woman from my previous posts. Only Kirstie responded. I picked her up and we did our usual BBBJ and BBFS for 30. She wanted me to cum in her mouth this time. We did it in the backseat which didn't work that well. Finding a good position was tough and I almost got a charlie horse. It wouldve been easier if both of us were midgets. She opted not to swallow my cum, but instead used my hoodie as a spittoon. Oh well, I needed to do my laundry anyway. I usually prefer to do it doggystyle or missionary in the passenger seat, or like Kamerin likes to do, which is to ride me in the driver's seat, being careful that her ass doesn't hit the horn. I am interested in buying some seat covers for when I am not mongering because there are so many DNA stains on the passenger seat. I dropped her off at the trap house as a police van drove by.

**Humpty Dumpty** · 04-10-20 18:33

I would've uploaded the pics in my previous post but I forgot. Anyhow, does anyone know this woman?

**Humpty Dumpty** · 04-10-20 18:24

Does anyone know this woman? I met her on Hudson by Velma a couple months ago. She didn't get in the car. Super paranoid and high. I did get her number. Wants "help" a lot but can't leave her young son for a second because he is autistic or something, lots of sob stories, haven't met her yet. Supposedly she lives off Sullivant. We've just been texting back and forth forever.

**HornySenior** · 04-10-20 08:15

Originally Posted by MidwestDude [View Original Post]

I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say that I am not interested in seeing HDs poo. At all.

Just sayin'.

**Humpty Dumpty** · 04-09-20 14:25

It was 1 PM on Thursday. I had taken a quick detour off of 71 while doing my errands, just doing some window shopping, per se. I was driving westbound on Hudson, and as I stopped at McGuffey at the traffic light, I saw a rough looking Adrianna. It looked like she had recently eaten something spinach, there was some crap stuck in her teeth. Right there at the light in daylight in front of everyone, she pulled on my locked door handle in desperation. I said "not today!" She said "Please!" in a whiny tone that indicated to me that she was coming down from a bad high. She is going to have to brush her teeth, take a shower, and learn how to act a little nicer in order for me to consider letting my super sperm swim around inside her again. I giggled to myself as I saw her sad facial expression in my rearview mirror while driving back to the highway ramp. Then I went home and dropped a big log. My stash of toilet paper is down to 10 and a half rolls, is that going to be enough to last until the end of the toilet paper crisis?

**Du Donk** · 04-09-20 05:22

Originally Posted by MidwestDude [View Original Post]

I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say that I am not interested in seeing HDs poo. At all.

Dude. I, too, enjoy the color. I rarely laugh out loud but have a couple times reading his posts. Brown is a color.

**Jd2011** · 04-09-20 04:29

I've blessed alleys with my holy water but never dropped mud. You are correct though, there are not many public restroom options in the hunting areas. When you got to go, you got to go. It's upsetting to me to see the amount of trash on the streets in these areas. I often see the indigenous natives throwing away junk on the ground in plain sight without a care in the world. The deserve to wake up to human shit on the porches or wherever they call home.

Originally Posted by HumptyDumpty [View Original Post]

Thanks for the flattering comments, gentlemen. I hope to post more great creampie adventures soon. I hope this overblown virus scare is over soon, mainly because I want public restrooms to be available when I need them again. If I have to defecate in alleys or parking lots, soon enough I am going to be seen on camera, and probably put on the news with a name like "The Poopetrator" or "The Mad Shatter". The only place I won't shit is in my pants. So better of using an alley or a parking lot if worst comes to worst. Again, when you got to go you got to go. Its not like I'm doing it on people's porches. I'm pretty sure you guys do this too, am I right? Where else are you going to go? My lily white neighborhood is on the other side of town.

It isn't me who knocked up Alyssa B. I saw her earlier today while I was picking up an item on Craigslist. She was at Town and Dakota. She was indeed obviously pregnant. I creampied her in 2012 or 2013 back when she looked good. And no, I did not pay an absurd amount of money. 30 bucks was good enough. Nowadays, I am not sure she would even be worth a freebie.

One other thing. I was thankfully well prepared for the toilet paper shortage. I have plenty!

**Humpty Dumpty** · 04-09-20 00:55

It was Wednesday night. 1130 PM. It was rainy. I was sitting in my house drinking heavily and watching "The Stand" by Stephen King which is about a pandemic, not an overhyped flu like we're dealing with now. I decided that somewhere out there, a streetwalker needed my cream inside her. I drunkenly stumbled into my car. I don't like these stupid stay at home laws, or laws against drunk driving. Driving drunk is fun! First was Hudson. I saw a decent looking BSW just east of Uncle Max's ghetto ass gas station. I passed. Then Parsons. One ugly WSW was out. Then Sully. I peed in an empty water bottle, sealed the cap, and tossed it out the window into an alley. I feel sorry for the poor guy who will finally dispose of it. Does anyone else like to pee in plastic bottles, seal the cap and throw them out the window? Its obvious that what is in the bottle isn't water. One thing is for sure, I am not going to get out of my car and piss on the street in the middle of a downpour. The only thing I want to get wet is my dick.

So at Sully and Richardson, I saw Celeste M, aka Cece. Is this a fake name? She is 22. She looks kinda like Molly Ringwald, who happens to be in "The Stand". She is coherent, claims she is off drugs and is just walking to streets to support her young kid. Okay. We went to a secret place. Her BBBJ was a bit underwhelming. So we moved on to BBFS. She asked if I had a condom. I said no. She told me to pull out. But I did spray some cream in her. Cost was the usual, 30 bucks. She says some of you guys have been overpaying and giving her 40 just for BBBJ. You wouldn't overpay for car insurance, why would you overpay this girl? I would repeat, but she would not be my first choice. I couldn't find her Zuck profile with the name she provided otherwise I would have posted her pic. If you have a pic please post it. She said her phone got stolen at the trap house.

**Twisted36** · 04-08-20 19:45

Originally Posted by JustVisiting82 [View Original Post]

I've been seeing more and more of Alyssa recently. I used to love her looks, years ago, but her attitude and lack of enthusiasm ruined the one encounter I had with her back then. She got the job done, but she clearly could have cared less about the service and was just there for her next fix. Lately, she has been wearing a lot of sweatshirts and hoodies when she's out walking, but you can clearly see that she's either been eating very well lately or that she's pregnant. I'm guessing the latter. Has anyone sampled her recently? Has her attitude or performance changed any? She's nowhere near as tempting as she once was, but I love the thought of pounding her good and hard, for old times sake.

Alyssa is most definitely pregnant. I saw her today out walking the bottoms. I picked her up, gave her a ride to where she was going and she told me she is pregnant. I gave her a 20 for old times sake and dropped her off.

**Humpty Dumpty** · 04-08-20 17:39

Originally Posted by JustVisiting82 [View Original Post]

I've been seeing more and more of Alyssa recently. I used to love her looks, years ago, but her attitude and lack of enthusiasm ruined the one encounter I had with her back then. She got the job done, but she clearly could have cared less about the service and was just there for her next fix. Lately, she has been wearing a lot of sweatshirts and hoodies when she's out walking, but you can clearly see that she's either been eating very well lately or that she's pregnant. I'm guessing the latter. Has anyone sampled her recently? Has her attitude or performance changed any? She's nowhere near as tempting as she once was, but I love the thought of pounding her good and hard, for old times sake.

Thanks for the flattering comments, gentlemen. I hope to post more great creampie adventures soon. I hope this overblown virus scare is over soon, mainly because I want public restrooms to be available when I need them again. If I have to defecate in alleys or parking lots, soon enough I am going to be seen on camera, and probably put on the news with a name like "The Poopetrator" or "The Mad Shatter". The only place I won't shit is in my pants. So better of using an alley or a parking lot if worst comes to worst. Again, when you got to go you got to go. Its not like I'm doing it on people's porches. I'm pretty sure you guys do this too, am I right? Where else are you going to go? My lily white neighborhood is on the other side of town.

It isn't me who knocked up Alyssa B. I saw her earlier today while I was picking up an item on Craigslist. She was at Town and Dakota. She was indeed obviously pregnant. I creampied her in 2012 or 2013 back when she looked good. And no, I did not pay an absurd amount of money. 30 bucks was good enough. Nowadays, I am not sure she would even be worth a freebie.

One other thing. I was thankfully well prepared for the toilet paper shortage. I have plenty!

**BigFriknNutz** · 04-08-20 14:17

Originally Posted by Jd2011 [View Original Post]

While MJ's reports are many and informative, he lacks comedy and entertainment. Many times his reports seem generic and very cookie-cutter-ish. Although MW has pics, or used to have pics, I don't ever recall any action shots; or even face shots (Not totally sure on this; please let me know if I'm wrong). I only remember the signature headless, legs spread in black stockings shots.

HD's reports on the other hand are infused with both information and entertainment. Action pics would only further cement him as one of the GOATs. Call me sick, but I also like the way he throws his excrement around at will. Hopefully it is true, as these hunting grounds we all know are very deserving of it. It adds an element of color to the stories. Perhaps he can upload a pic of a steaming pile with a couple of gym socks next to it? CLASSIC SHIT.

Please note that I am not degrading MW at all. His reports have always been much appreciated. But, in my humble opinion, I have to give the overall nod to HD.

I agree HD definitely offers much needed comedy in his posts especially now but MwJrp has him beat on the description of his dates right down to ht / wt. So if your scoring at home, this is a very very tight race but I still give a slight nod to MwJrp. Maybe we need to have an official vote?

**Midwest Dude** · 04-08-20 12:59

Originally Posted by Jd2011 [View Original Post]

While MJ's reports are many and informative, he lacks comedy and entertainment. Many times his reports seem generic and very cookie-cutter-ish. Although MW has pics, or used to have pics, I don't ever recall any action shots; or even face shots (Not totally sure on this; please let me know if I'm wrong). I only remember the signature headless, legs spread in black stockings shots.

HD's reports on the other hand are infused with both information and entertainment. Action pics would only further cement him as one of the GOATs. Call me sick, but I also like the way he throws his excrement around at will. Hopefully it is true, as these hunting grounds we all know are very deserving of it. It adds an element of color to the stories. Perhaps he can upload a pic of a steaming pile with a couple of gym socks next to it? CLASSIC SHIT.

Please note that I am not degrading MW at all. His reports have always been much appreciated. But, in my humble opinion, I have to give the overall nod to HD.

I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say that I am not interested in seeing HDs poo. At all.

**JustVisiting82** · 04-08-20 12:31

I've been seeing more and more of Alyssa recently. I used to love her looks, years ago, but her attitude and lack of enthusiasm ruined the one encounter I had with her back then. She got the job done, but she clearly could have cared less about the service and was just there for her next fix. Lately, she has been wearing a lot of sweatshirts and hoodies when she's out walking, but you can clearly see that she's either been eating very well lately or that she's pregnant. I'm guessing the latter. Has anyone sampled her recently? Has her attitude or performance changed any? She's nowhere near as tempting as she once was, but I love the thought of pounding her good and hard, for old times sake.

**Jd2011** · 04-08-20 12:24

While MJ's reports are many and informative, he lacks comedy and entertainment. Many times his reports seem generic and very cookie-cutter-ish. Although MW has pics, or used to have pics, I don't ever recall any action shots; or even face shots (Not totally sure on this; please let me know if I'm wrong). I only remember the signature headless, legs spread in black stockings shots.

HD's reports on the other hand are infused with both information and entertainment. Action pics would only further cement him as one of the GOATs. Call me sick, but I also like the way he throws his excrement around at will. Hopefully it is true, as these hunting grounds we all know are very deserving of it. It adds an element of color to the stories. Perhaps he can upload a pic of a steaming pile with a couple of gym socks next to it? CLASSIC SHIT.

Please note that I am not degrading MW at all. His reports have always been much appreciated. But, in my humble opinion, I have to give the overall nod to HD.

Originally Posted by BigFriknNutz [View Original Post]

He is legend but I still have him #2 behind MwJrp because of his pics with black stockings. Its time for a new #1 (anyone know. What happend to MwJrp?) and pics would seal the deal for HD for me.