Massage Parlor Reports

[JamesBlond007]

Yea I figured as much. Just not too many caucasian in the massage scene. Unless anyone know of some hit caucasian providers?

Andrea Adams is another one, she's in Woodbridge. You won't get FS, but most you'll get is BBBJCIM. She's also a no BS masseuse as well. Had a very nice time with her.

[Tom McAn]

Yea I figured as much. Just not too many caucasian in the massage scene. Unless anyone know of some hit caucasian providers?

There's Ashley, a MILF in Annandale, but mongers have had some pretty mixed experiences with her. Then there's Jaymie Joi (JJ), another MILF whom I visited in Rosslyn last fall. I had a nice time with her. Keep in mind that she no longer provides FS. JJ tours along the East Coast and in the Midwest, visiting this area two or three times a year. There's also Demi Diamonds, who must be in the GILF age range by now. Otherwise, the pickings are pretty slim these days for Caucasian sensual massage providers in Northern Virginia. I sure miss Sara, aka Swedish Sweetheart, a MILF massage provider who was based in South Florida but visited this area periodically. Sara retired two or three years ago.

There were some Russian providers working in Rosslyn several years ago. I don't know if they're still active, but they were known to demand significant tips for removal of clothing.

[Lioil]

Massage Envy is legit. Don't bother trying to obtain HE services there unless you want to find your name on the news or in the paper. You're better off sticking with providers discussed here such as KK, Nalee or Tara if you want a good massage followed by a HE.

Yea I figured as much. Just not too many caucasian in the massage scene. Unless anyone know of some hit caucasian providers?

[Frank Digitola]

The events of this report went down outside of NOVA, but I had to hip Teddies Crew to this one.

Three weeks or so ago a brah with no posts sent me a PM. He was asking me to give him a list of the contact info for all the honies in the Teddies Hall of Fame. I told Lurk Brah that all of the HOFers had live BP ads and that he should start there. As with all my replies to the intel request PMs I receive, I ask brah "Do you have any big teddies for me?" Lurk Brah tells me "There's a chick named 'Blue' that works at an AMP in Jessup that supposedly has big teddies. " I have no clue where Jessup is, but the shit sounds far. I delete brahs PM to clear out my box and dismiss this Blue woman.

Fast forward to today. I am visiting family at my uncles house. Two things about my Uncle Ricardo: 1) he lives in Laurel and 2) he is real life Al Bundy, but the times he loves to obsess over are his times playing high school and junior college baseball. I love the dude but I am going deaf and cross eyed hearing the same stories of baseball feats that I've been hearing since I was 11. My ears peak however when I hear him tell my dad that he ran into an old friend of theirs that now lives in Jessup. He says he'll call and see if this gent wants to come over. I say something about how nobody's going to drive all the way from Jessup to come here. My uncle says "Frank you dumbass, Jessup is right down the road. " I go full savage, login to this site while I'm sitting on my uncles couch and research Blue.

Two things about Blue: 1) big teddied Korean MILF 2) apparently a ted bang Jedi. The Jessup brahs have me at "Hello. " I bid the fam farewell and call Silk Spa to make an appointment when I get in the car. I get to the place and they're very tight with the entrance. You will be grilled right there at the door with the "did you make an appointment?" "have you been here before?" questioning. *Pro tip* Whenever I visit a place for the first time I tell them I have been there before but haven't been there in a while. I check RMs and have a name prepared to drop to substantiate my tale. Coco was popping in 2016 so I drop her name, am invited in and pay the house 8.

After being escorted to the room I undress and Blue walks in. From the chin up she's an attractive, mid-late 40's MILF. From the chin down she looks like Lucie Wilde. (Google her. I'm on no porn, no fap, but I'm aware of some of the performers) She has on a short, tight, pink dress with teddies bouncing and nearly spilling everywhere. She gives me a hug and leads me to the shower, which is massive and stand up BTW. Not quite the same as the table variety, but thorough and enjoyable. I'm then taken briefly to the sauna and then back to the room for my massage. Now while Blue is a new Teddies HOF inductee, the massage was Hall of Okay. The massage was just pretty good push pressure. Her tease game however was on point. She has unbelievably soft hands that felt magical. The tease was all hands though and no angus action to report. Sorry Prostate Crew. I am flipped.

Upon the flip some Diet Sotheby's goes down. She asked me what I brought to tip. I lie and say 4. She asks benji and says she has a surprise for me. I ask if she can save the surprise until next time, whip out the teddies and accept 6. She agreed. In my head I "Hit dem folks" like Russell Westbrook. Blue takes off the dress and releases those teddies. She rubs them all over me, and begins to kiss me all over my chest and neck. Within seconds I am harder than the peg game at Cracker Barrel. Blue notices, covers junior and her teddies in oil and ted bangs me for the entire flip. No exaggeration. The only time I received a Hugh Jackman on this visit was for oil application.

Her skin is wonderfully soft and her teddies feel like they're full of birthday cake and not flesh. She got on top and ted banged me. After a few minutes she asked me to hop on top and do the work. I obliged. She stopped me partially and told me to shorten the strokes so she could lick and suck the tip. She then told me to go back at it and held her tongue out begging for the pop. She obviously doesn't know I'm on no fap with 5 days in the chamber. I'm still going strong so she lays me back down and gets back to work herself. After a few minutes I simultaneously Nickelodeon all hell out of her teddies and become silently amused at the relief that comes across her face because she didn't take that pop in her mug while on her back.

She gets dressed, cleans me up and then dresses me. I had 6 locked and loaded for her, but I also had a stash of Lin Manuel's. I gave her one of those on top of what we agreed on for a total of 7. I was going to give her 8 as I've never received that much ted bang dedication. I didn't however for the perpetuity of the culture. She invited me back and I'm definitely going to accept the invitation.

A few logistical notes in case you want to visit. I told you about the interview at the door, but this place is also very popular. It took me 10 minutes to get through on the phone to make my appointment. But absolutely make an appointment. The doorbell rang at least 3 times while I was there. There's Blue who's there and a supposedly hot chick named Sofia too. Blue said that they work Friday-Sunday mostly and there are others who do the weekdays. It looks like they're the most popular so they save them for peak days. Anywho.

Frankie Digitola Big Teddies Hall of Fame.

1. Kiko. Still the queen.

2. Tara. Legendary.

3. Blue. Wonderful time with a sexy MILF who knew why I was there and put those majestic teddies to work for the entire flip. Loved her.

4. Apple. Thick 20 something with big teddies that she'll pull out immediately post flip.

5. Vandara. Can't stress enough how marvelous her teddies are for her age.

6. Nikki. Biggest in the HOF. Some of the nicest, biggest teddies you'll see in the game or in person, period.

Frankie.

[SexAddict96]

Went to Top in McClean based on reports of rimming. My masseuse was Mimi (I think) who was kinda cute with an ok body. Overall session was ok but I did not get rimmed like other reports. Don't know why not. May try again.

[SexAddict96]

After seeing the previous reports on Yams and the butt play (tease?) that occurred, I went to try them out. I got Sunny who was not reported on recently. She has an ok face but overweight (potato). Table shower was pretty good while she stroked for a little while. Her massage is pretty good and strong although I asked for medium. Skipped the oil based on previous reports. She did ask if this is my first time and I said yes but I have been to other places. Overall, a decent experience with some butt play but nothing mind blowing. Something I have noticed with NOVA AMPs more recently (after backpage closing) is that most places are quoting BJ for $60. I don't know if this is a tactic to appear to be more open with services while in reality they don't want to offer it, therefore they quote a price knowing most people won't accept. Alternatively, they really think people will pay this.

[DCraven]

Long time monger, 1st time post.

Avoid 5xx9 lee hwy. A lot of adds on all the sites, but provider was not attractive, terrible massage and no menu available.

The other place to avoid is right across rt 29 from 8xx3, can't remember name, but it is ina brown office building. Very old providers, with terrible massage and also limited menu. Both places got my money, just helping you all save yours.

[Slate111]

Dreamed about seeing Nicha. You can find her ad on nova bedpage by searching that name. Definitely not the photo. Older, chunkier, weird braces. Did have a decent sized rack, but not perky.

Massage was very Thai style. Lots of twisting and pressure vs rubbing. Not my thing.

Finish was pretty good. Got more massage after the finish. Showered afterwards, but I couldn't get the lotion smell off my skin.

Incall location was fairly safe and easy enough to get into and out of. Damage wasn't bad. Her ad lists her prices and I tipped a little on top though she said it wasn't necessary. I still think I'd rather go to Eden. Prettier and I liked the style of the massage more.

Also a question to you all.

I've seen a few ads like this https://dc.rubratings.com/126782 (in case it gets filtered, its the dc rubratings link to those Russian ads where they say they're based in Dupont). Are those legit? As someone in the district, it'd be very convenient to not have to drive 45 minutes to some place. Anyone have any feedback? I've reverse image searched a few of the ads. Some of the pictures yield nothing and sometimes it's an obscure Russian page. Hopefully my two reviews earn me some good will so feel free to PM if you have details.

I wouldn't see Nicha unless I am in a pinch. Her massage is very light and ending isn't that great. Her ad says no FS but she will do FS for $$.4.

Once she knows you.

[VaPlay]

Planning to try for the first time. I would like to get almost everything that I can. Suggest places and your experiences.

Suggest you read through the posts here, pick a place, go visit and report back on how things went. That's how it works. Have fun.

[Karth]

Planning to try for the first time. I would like to get almost everything that I can. Suggest places and your experiences.

[Asphalt]

I've been to Tao a few times over the years and still haven't found a good reason to frequent the place. The last time I got a slender girl with an odd bulge just below her belly button but a very nice figure other than that. Her massage actually wasn't bad but UTC roaming on top only and OTC down below and I had to negotiate for that. Otherwise nice attitude just very limited options. Nothing special.

[LizardLeader18]

Dreamed about seeing Nicha. You can find her ad on nova bedpage by searching that name. Definitely not the photo. Older, chunkier, weird braces. Did have a decent sized rack, but not perky.

Massage was very Thai style. Lots of twisting and pressure vs rubbing. Not my thing.

Finish was pretty good. Got more massage after the finish. Showered afterwards, but I couldn't get the lotion smell off my skin.

Incall location was fairly safe and easy enough to get into and out of. Damage wasn't bad. Her ad lists her prices and I tipped a little on top though she said it wasn't necessary. I still think I'd rather go to Eden. Prettier and I liked the style of the massage more.

Also a question to you all.

I've seen a few ads like this https://dc.rubratings.com/126782 (in case it gets filtered, its the dc rubratings link to those Russian ads where they say they're based in Dupont). Are those legit? As someone in the district, it'd be very convenient to not have to drive 45 minutes to some place. Anyone have any feedback? I've reverse image searched a few of the ads. Some of the pictures yield nothing and sometimes it's an obscure Russian page. Hopefully my two reviews earn me some good will so feel free to PM if you have details.

[Urbanite]

Had a great visit on a business travel layover here. Thought I was going to have to Uber to Greenbelt to VIP or RS, but was able to get same just a few miles from hotel.

[Krakatoa]

What does it take for a massage therapist to, assuming they don't have a moral problem with doing so, offer extras? The major factor is how they view the rewards vs the potential risks.

An independent masseuse has some external risk to worry about (LE) but, since she controls things as her own boss, she doesn't have any internal issues.

A masseuse at a spa where extras are offered is an employee and not the boss. But the fact that management knows what's going on and encourages it means she also doesn't have any internal risks to worry about.

But Massage Envy is a legit franchise-based business. So any employee-therapist would almost certainly lose their job if they were caught doing extras. And any owner could possibly have their franchise terminated. That's a dramatically different risk-reward calculation.

Which doesn't mean it's not possible that some random ME therapist might be persuaded to give a HJ at some random point in time. But I wouldn't bank on it as the odds are stacked way against you.

All true, but I've heard it happens. ME pays such a miserable wage that the people working for them are often fairly desperate for cash. Not that it's a good idea. In fact, it's a terrible idea. I've also heard that the cops prey on these poor people, throwing money at them trying to pick off the weak ones.

Well, you hear a lot of things.

[Tom McAn]

Any luck at massage envy places? Just kind of curious or one can get into big trouble?

Massage Envy is legit. Don't bother trying to obtain HE services there unless you want to find your name on the news or in the paper. You're better off sticking with providers discussed here such as KK, Nalee or Tara if you want a good massage followed by a HE.