Massage Parlor Reports

[Alex1111]

Saw mint ad again. I saw her a few month back at Tyson. Pretty convenient location at a nice apartment. She is easily the most pretty Thai girl I have ever seen. Probably in her 30's. Pretty face and fantastic body. She is slim but with unusual natural large boobs. I can play them all day. Service wise is limited. I saw some other report say only nude HJ, but I got CBJ with $ tip so I guess YMMV. I did not push to FS though and it may be available. Overall it was a good dream.

[Frank Digitola]

If you mongers got some health tips, feel free to share it's going to a good cause. Getting me laid LOL.

I posted this here instead of pm'ing Socrates in case other brahs wanted to make some gains too.

Give yourself 12 weeks and you can transform the hell out of your body. Weigh yourself naked once a week on the same day first thing in the morning to track your progress.

Lifting.

- follow a structured lifting program. This is a good one.

https://www.buffdudes.us/blogs/fitne...iginal-edition

- I would substitute Rack Pulls for the Deadlifts.

Cardio.

- start with 3 cardio sessions a week.

- go for a brisk 25 minute walk first thing in the morning (walk fast enough to break a sweat, but not to the point where you couldn't have a conversation).

- if you stop losing weight, add a day of cardio.

Diet.

- keep it simple. Fuck counting calories. Have meals where the protein source is the size of your fist and the carb source is a heaping cup.

- eat 5 small meals a day and have a whey protein shake.

- buck the trend of using rice as your main carb source and use potatoes. I make mashed potatoes for the week and have diced potatoes and hash browns from the frozen food section.

- Butterball original seasoned frozen turkey burger patties are a great protein to buy. They're so delicious I eat them twice a day. Plus if you spray them down generously with Pam and bake them in the oven, they produce a good juiciness you can pour over your carb.

- if you stop losing weight, go to a level cup of carbs. If it happens again, reduce your carbs by a quarter cup. You shouldn't drop below half a cup of carbs before the 12 weeks runs out.

- drink a gallon of water a day.

The diet is the most important. When I'm cutting, my diet will look a little something like:

Meal 1 - 2 packets of Quaker Banana Nut Oatmeal and a Premier Protein Shake.

Meal 2 - 1 cup Frozen Hash Browns, 1 cup egg whites, 1 whole egg, 3 turkey sausage links (I'll drizzle a little sugar free syrup and hot sauce on for flavor).

Meal 3 - 1 Turkey burger and 1 cup of mashed potatoes.

Meal 4 - 1 chicken breast, 1 cup of potatoes, and a salad for some green shit. I put Italian dressing on the salad and G Hughes BBQ sauce (life changer) on the chicken.

Meal 5 - Turkey burger, 1 cup of mashed potatoes and a little bit of canned kernel corn.

Meal 6 - 2 scoops of whey protein mixed in ice cold water.

Do that over 12 weeks and your self confidence will skyrocket, which is the most important thing. As a nice byproduct, chicks will thirst and many of these providers will want to screw your brains out before you even reach into your wallet.

Frankie.

[TheOuroboros]

I got to chance to TOFFT and visited spa fruit.

I was greeted by a young man (red flag no1) who ushered me into the room for my massage package (red flag 2). They do an array of different things in addition to the basic FB massage and when I asked if they had a table shower I was given this deluxe vichy shower. So it's a 30 min massage followed by a 30 min vichy shower. The whole place smelled of legit. Massage tables, sauna, and three shower rooms. It's a pretty big place. So I'm finally am greeted by lily. She's a 40-50's Vietnamese woman. Very small very thin. Couldn't tell if you if she was good looking. She was covered head to toe and wearing a face mask, gloves, and face shield. A staple warrior ready to take on Covid19. (Red flag no 3). So she begins the massage portion first. Which I questioned her on, "shouldn't we do table shower first?" "No. Massage first" (red flag no 4) I place my clothes into a nice bag and am directed to bring it with me when we enter the other room for the TS post massage.

The massage was pretty nice. I tried to break the ice by finding out more about Lilly. She says she's a single mother with 2 sons who help her with managing the day to day spa, which explained the young man working the reception. She doesn't own the place she told me it's a side business of a gov worker (red flag no 4).

It was a good massage and she is a pleasant lady. No flip. Covered all the time. Once it was done she ushered me to the shower, where she kept Johnny covered and when I asked if she would scrub him as well she told me politely and professionally that while she won't touch I'm more than welcome to soap and do myself.(Flag de Rojo) This Vichy shower is fully decked out like high end spas with tons of shower heads placed above a table in a line, it was a pretty nice experience. Just, legit. Once that was done so was my hour. At least I wasn't shorted. I said welp that's all huh? She told me many clients opt to a 30 min massage after and since I was thinking with little brain I thought that might be the secret password to get what I came for.

So my journey continues to a third professional looking room with candles and another comfortable massage table. The tables here aren't just two stacks of ply wood covered with bedsheets. They're contoured and automated. (Red flag no. Where was I? 6? Yeah let's say 6) here she told me to lie face up (and that was the only shining hope of something more) so I complied face up, but completely covered (well, shit.) stretching of the arms and legs, some face massage. Honestly, I can't even be that angry. Lilly gives a damn good massage. But, after 30 more minutes, I left with heavy testicles and light wallet. There's nothing here, at least not for me.

The 90 min excursion cost me $$.16 schmeckles. Would I be stupid again and repeat? Sure, maybe not for the whole spa package
BS but I did walk away feeling more limber.


Analysis time: Maybe I lead you all astray. Maybe there is a banana spa somewhere in falls church and I fucked up. Maybe I played all my cards wrong. Maybe I was supposed to say some secret phrase and failed some extensive LEO test. Whatever the case there is something clear. Maybe I saw someone different than Coolie, the place is certainly big enough to hold more than one staff. I’d love to dissect my experience with Coolie for sure. But one thing is certain. YMMV is working against me. Hard.

I can't help but shake the fact I've lost my monger spark. I feel like that baseball player whose best years are behind him. Ive gone from cracking bad boys out the park to striking out bat after bat. I'm in a covid slump.
-GnS.

[Korman23]

Thanks gentlemen that responded about the FC thing. I was trying to come up with a spa with those letters, wasn't thinking about the place. I did guess that the "fruity" title might have something to do with it but since I'm mainly a MD guy it just never occurred to me.

[DarkRai]

BodyRubShop and CityXGuide have been seized by DOJ, DHS, USSS, & Texas local.

Also passed by CS off 28, open sign in window.

[TheOuroboros]

Fruit had a young man at the appointment desk. Unfortunately for me they were ALL booked up for the day. As others have said it all looks legit. It seems that I'll have to schedule an appointment. This board usually doesn't lead us astray.

So on to my Backup Plan C (C&C) . I decided I too would like to see if (YEMV) with Tori. DO YOU FEEL LUCKY PUNK. Well yes, it was my lucky day.

Hmmm. I'm not sure what I did wrong w / Tori. To me she made it seem like she NEVER gave FS. Wouldn't let me anywhere near the thing.

I'm not an ugly dude either. I guess I just have to start working out again hahaha. Something about my physique isn't gellin'.

If you mongers got some health tips, feel free to share it's going to a good cause. Getting me laid LOL.

[Start2]

So I PMd for info as well, but started to dwell on this post because I'm a no good degenerate. But I'm a no good degenerate with a brain. So I started zoning in on the possibilities of spas in my data base with the abbreviation of FC or FC massage. But I came up empty. But I see here that coolie gave us a clue. He said fruity place. So then I'm thinking, well maybe this is a spa with some sort of fruit moniker. FC then isn't the name but the location. Falls Church. Sure enough with those clues in place I looked up spas in Falls church and came across Fruit Spa on Arlington Blvd. I remember passing by the place since it's close to seven therapy. Always figured it was legit. I tried to TOFFT and make an appt but they close at 7 pm which is unfortunate since I'm stuck at work. So if one of you brahs want to complete the mission for me, don't forget to hook me up with your findings.

GnS.

Fruit had a young man at the appointment desk. Unfortunately for me they were ALL booked up for the day. As others have said it all looks legit. It seems that I'll have to schedule an appointment. This board usually doesn't lead us astray.

So on to my Backup Plan C (C&C) . I decided I too would like to see if (YEMV) with Tori. DO YOU FEEL LUCKY PUNK. Well yes, it was my lucky day.

[SunCap3]

She offered the steak and quoted $$5. I said "look at yourself, you think you are in your 20's"? You can see her eyes got wider and shocked. I got up and left. Yes siree!

I stopped seeing Korean providers a long time ago because of this stuff. While they are attractive, they lack the tenderness and intimacy that others can provide.

[DevilVRod]

Must be NYC thing. Women are too pushy and kills the atmosphere. I walked out after shower and asked for money back. That is how bad it was.

She offered the steak and quoted $$5. I said "look at yourself, you think you are in your 20's"? You can see her eyes got wider and shocked. I got up and left. Yes siree!

[TheOuroboros]

Off of a recommendation I traveled to FC to visit the spa. I did not know what to expect, so I chose a mixed option of services. There was only one masseuse (mid to late 40's), and I was not really attracted to her. Expecting nothing special, the massage seemed pretty legit and exceptional good, but the shower scrub seemed very professional at first. Sometime after the flip is when all of the excitement began. She gets on top and slides me slowly inside her and just sits there for a moment before we get into it. Afterwards, she cleaned me up and met me in the front professionally as a few women come into the spa for massages. So, this is another another case of YMMV, but I had a great time even though I may never return. Total provided $$5.

So I PMd for info as well, but started to dwell on this post because I'm a no good degenerate. But I'm a no good degenerate with a brain. So I started zoning in on the possibilities of spas in my data base with the abbreviation of FC or FC massage. But I came up empty. But I see here that coolie gave us a clue. He said fruity place. So then I'm thinking, well maybe this is a spa with some sort of fruit moniker. FC then isn't the name but the location. Falls Church. Sure enough with those clues in place I looked up spas in Falls church and came across Fruit Spa on Arlington Blvd. I remember passing by the place since it's close to seven therapy. Always figured it was legit. I tried to TOFFT and make an appt but they close at 7 pm which is unfortunate since I'm stuck at work. So if one of you brahs want to complete the mission for me, don't forget to hook me up with your findings.

GnS.

[Asphalt]

Read in these pages that Angel spa in McLean was legit and I was looking for a good one. Stopped in and Michelle met in the lobby with no mask on. She's about 5'9" or so and wore a shirt that showed some midriff and white jeans. Into the room and onto the table. Her massage was pretty good, attentive but I've had better and the price was ok, . 7 or. 6 I can't remember. She really spent a lot of time on my butt which led me to believe, especially since her shirt was made for roaming, that I might just get a bit more that day but it wasn't to be. I wouldn't go out of my way to see her again but if I'm in the area I might stop in for a good butt rub.

Later that day I'm in Vienna and remembered I-Spa. In the mood for a bit of strange I stopped in there too and got the full load of chimes, Chinese food and a bit of cigarette smoke to round out the experience. Whatever he name is she's not the Joker but I'd swear I've seen that face carved into a jack o'lantern somewhere. Good thing she's fairly cheap, . 6, because her massage is clearly below par. She offered to give me some help at the end but steadfastly refused to let me roam. With a face like hers you'd expect her to want all the roaming she could get. "I guess a rock's out of the question. " Monger elsewhere.

PS No response from some PMs so could someone tell me if Jiji has natural tits? I'd like to know what FC is too.

[Slate111]

Excuse my ignorance, but FC? Don't recall what that is or seeing it on the board

Falls Church. You can google fruit and spa. It will be the first one.

I thought that place was 100 percent legit.

[Korman23]

Off of a recommendation I traveled to FC to visit the spa. I did not know what to expect, so I chose a mixed option of services. There was only one masseuse (mid to late 40's), and I was not really attracted to her. Expecting nothing special, the massage seemed pretty legit and exceptional good, but the shower scrub seemed very professional at first. Sometime after the flip is when all of the excitement began. She gets on top and slides me slowly inside her and just sits there for a moment before we get into it. Afterwards, she cleaned me up and met me in the front professionally as a few women come into the spa for massages. So, this is another another case of YMMV, but I had a great time even though I may never return. Total provided $$5.

Excuse my ignorance, but FC? Don't recall what that is or seeing it on the board.

[Hugh Japenis]

Off of a recommendation I traveled to FC to visit the spa. I did not know what to expect, so I chose a mixed option of services. There was only one masseuse (mid to late 40's), and I was not really attracted to her. Expecting nothing special, the massage seemed pretty legit and exceptional good, but the shower scrub seemed very professional at first. Sometime after the flip is when all of the excitement began. She gets on top and slides me slowly inside her and just sits there for a moment before we get into it. Afterwards, she cleaned me up and met me in the front professionally as a few women come into the spa for massages. So, this is another another case of YMMV, but I had a great time even though I may never return. Total provided $$5.

Did she require a cover, or did she just pop it in?

[BigCoolie]

Off of a recommendation I traveled to FC to visit the spa. I did not know what to expect, so I chose a mixed option of services. There was only one masseuse (mid to late 40's), and I was not really attracted to her. Expecting nothing special, the massage seemed pretty legit and exceptional good, but the shower scrub seemed very professional at first. Sometime after the flip is when all of the excitement began. She gets on top and slides me slowly inside her and just sits there for a moment before we get into it. Afterwards, she cleaned me up and met me in the front professionally as a few women come into the spa for massages. So, this is another another case of YMMV, but I had a great time even though I may never return. Total provided $$5.