Massage Parlor Reports

[SignerJeff]

She is still around. I tried to set up with her a couple months back and the rule book comes out all over the place. I think it was an ad on CL that I found her through. She aint never going back to cutting hair as her real job. She owes too much money over her salon going belly up.

BQ22.

Thanks man. I will keep an eye out. CL is littered with spam, its tough to find a real one.

[JamesRussells]

Not the same place anymore.

This is CG wellness, used to be on Frederick. Relatively UTR.

I go in the afternoons and it's an older, short, chubby Chinese woman.

4 and 4 for he. Don't really want much else.

She's enthusiastic at least.

This place seems to be gone.

She recently moved, but it looks like she got closed down again.

[Bunker Buster]

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along.

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing Neon signs with words like "massage", "bodyrub" or "fellatio barn". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know degenerates like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a handjob = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending, if I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a handjob (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied babysacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

HA!

BD.

And a way to upvote for saving in a "Best Of" category.

Fellatio Barn, snorkel, one of Thor's loads. LOLOLOLOL.

[Butter Dog]

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along.

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing Neon signs with words like "massage", "bodyrub" or "fellatio barn". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know degenerates like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a handjob = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending, if I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a handjob (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied babysacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

HA!

BD.

[Barraquda22]

I think she is long gone. Maybe she went back to doing hair? She was a great value and a nice person, too bad. Just like Amber Autumn in Cokceysville. She was great value too and a great body. Still see her at the gym in Timonium though. She had a full time gig anyway.

She is still around. I tried to set up with her a couple months back and the rule book comes out all over the place. I think it was an ad on CL that I found her through. She aint never going back to cutting hair as her real job. She owes too much money over her salon going belly up.

BQ22.

[Rockman 2000]

Tracey, who used to work out of her home in Rosedale? None of her numbers on the the other site are correct anymore.

I think she is long gone. Maybe she went back to doing hair? She was a great value and a nice person, too bad. Just like Amber Autumn in Cokceysville. She was great value too and a great body. Still see her at the gym in Timonium though. She had a full time gig anyway.

[Member #5415]

I see that Liz is back (again) and two online reviewers said that they left happy. Has anybody experienced this with her? I will TOFTT as soon as I can set something up, but I was just curious.

Very unlikely to get anything from her.

[Satya]

Can't tell if this place is legit or not: https://baltimore.craigslist.org/thp/5964650083.html.

Anyone have intel? If not, I may have to TOFTT.

I would not TOFTT on this one. It sure looks legit to me.

[SignerJeff]

Tracey, who used to work out of her home in Rosedale? None of her numbers on the the other site are correct anymore.

[Feldman]

I see that Liz is back (again) and two online reviewers said that they left happy. Has anybody experienced this with her? I will TOFTT as soon as I can set something up, but I was just curious.

[Scumbler]

Can't tell if this place is legit or not: https://baltimore.craigslist.org/thp/5964650083.html.

Anyone have intel? If not, I may have to TOFTT.

[Gibz1981]

Went last week drew mid 40's lady. Little to no conversation. Massage only wouldn't bite on extras. Guess I got unlucky. Will try again and report.

[Bob Sully]

Overpriced and tries to upsell everything. She is fairly attractive in mid 20's with boltons. Def not worth the upsell #s IMHO but YMMV. These girls are trying to get a lot for nothing and it is crazy. Will DEF not repeat. PM with any additional questions.

[UnsungHero]

I know this is Baltimore, but Bmore AMPs are less than to be desired of late.

Greenbelt is off the hook. Boob jobs, lingerie at the door. Line ups. Etc.

Went to TWBC, massage was a 5 out of 10. I have been to some that are 10 our of 10 with all services open.

But TWBC had talent of the staff. For an AMP worker, 8 out 10, boob job, nice face, didn't ask to be paid up front, everything afterwards. Really clean and safe place too.

Agree with at niceguy466.

Sometimes the massage is non existent. However, their services are top notch and love their line-up!

TWBC is my 'Go-To' place!

[niceguy466]

I know this is Baltimore, but Bmore AMPs are less than to be desired of late.

Greenbelt is off the hook. Boob jobs, lingerie at the door. Line ups. Etc.

Went to TWBC, massage was a 5 out of 10. I have been to some that are 10 our of 10 with all services open.

But TWBC had talent of the staff. For an AMP worker, 8 out 10, boob job, nice face, didn't ask to be paid up front, everything afterwards. Really clean and safe place too.