Married & mongering

[Rook6642]

You know in the animal world, when a male is a stud and breeding, he will get severely depressed if there are not at least 3 pussies to deposit in regularly. We are animals. Meant to breed. It really is your choice. Deposit loads or be depressed and anxious.

Interesting. I never considered myself a BBFS guy I've had it in the past. Just once. Went to Vegas and was so attracted to the girl I was seeing I didn't mind that she let me stick it raw.

Let me tell you going CIP was a whole different level of orgasm. Just the feeling was overwhelming.

I don't get the same feeling with CFS.

Seeing working girls stops me asking the S / O for sex when she clearly isn't interested in it. It stops a fight, I'm still attracted to her so me flirting and being handsy is still a thing.

[Marcath]

I'm seeing 1-2 providers a week.

Holy crap man, how much a month do you spend on pussy? Guess I would too if I had the funds available.

[BSouthgate]

You know in the animal world, when a male is a stud and breeding, he will get severely depressed if there are not at least 3 pussies to deposit in regularly. We are animals. Meant to breed. It really is your choice. Deposit loads or be depressed and anxious.

Kathman is correct that men with multiple sex partners suffer less from depression and anxiety. This is true also for women.

Humans are animals, but they are complex animals. They have created societies and cultures with laws, rules, norms, and customs regulating and controlling sexual behavior. Sometimes, this is good because it protects children from abandonment and poverty. But with prosperity and longevity beyond childbearing age, it becomes harmful and leads to depression, anxiety, and conflict.

Imagine a society where, once children had matured and left the nest, parents were completely free to share love, including sexual love with other men, women and couples. What a wonderful world that would be.

[KathmanDouche]

You know in the animal world, when a male is a stud and breeding, he will get severely depressed if there are not at least 3 pussies to deposit in regularly. We are animals. Meant to breed. It really is your choice. Deposit loads or be depressed and anxious.

[BSouthgate]

What you want is on the spectrum of normal, maybe you want it more than most men but it's nothing unusual. I want the exact same things. Human history shows most civilizations catered to the exact desires you just described.

There is a book called 'My Secret Life', published in 1888. It is a unique book, a memoir by someone who lived his entire life in pursuit of pussy. Decades of adventures. He was an English gentleman so there was the conflict of polite society and expectations, versus his true life in the nonstop pursuit of sex. It will not help you stop mongering, but it can give comfort that your desires are quite timeless and even tame. I enjoyed reading it enough that I didn't monger during it, maybe I'm unusual but I tend to focus on just one thing at a time.

Maybe some of my experiences can help. I found it is hard to quit just by forcing myself to. I had no trouble quitting when I lost interest for a while, moving on to something else like strippers or porn. Even occasionally gaming. So I proved to myself it was possible, but found it harder to just quit because I wanted to. Journaling on the computer helped but was a long process. Over time by comparing with journals, I saw that even though I still enjoyed things very much, it was a fraction of my enjoyment years ago. Sometimes a new thing like filming jgirls came up, that I hadn't tried before. It was a temporary boost that delayed my quitting. I found the easiest way to quit is to soft quit, to take a short break that becomes longer and longer as you do other things you truly like. I never stopped using porn, and I suppose I am lucky that I can be satisfied with it for that long. And while mongering I can't really use porn much (they just don't mix since you can't perform), so in a way I am always choosing.

When it is time to quit, best not to think of it as quitting. It can be stressful. You think you can't quit even when trying to quit, and my point is even if that were true, in my case that ended up being 3 years at times. I couldn't have predicted it. I think it is easier to do this when you don't think of it as black and white of quitting versus not quitting. There comes a point when you are sick of it, and want to focus on something more important in your life. So just do it, starting any time. Be free.

Thanks Wally. I just ordered the book.

[FreeWally]

Great thread, lots of opinion and situations discussed that I can relate to.

Beneath it all, my fear is I may be too far gone to be able to return to monogamy.

What you want is on the spectrum of normal, maybe you want it more than most men but it's nothing unusual. I want the exact same things. Human history shows most civilizations catered to the exact desires you just described.

There is a book called 'My Secret Life', published in 1888. It is a unique book, a memoir by someone who lived his entire life in pursuit of pussy. Decades of adventures. He was an English gentleman so there was the conflict of polite society and expectations, versus his true life in the nonstop pursuit of sex. It will not help you stop mongering, but it can give comfort that your desires are quite timeless and even tame. I enjoyed reading it enough that I didn't monger during it, maybe I'm unusual but I tend to focus on just one thing at a time.

Maybe some of my experiences can help. I found it is hard to quit just by forcing myself to. I had no trouble quitting when I lost interest for a while, moving on to something else like strippers or porn. Even occasionally gaming. So I proved to myself it was possible, but found it harder to just quit because I wanted to. Journaling on the computer helped but was a long process. Over time by comparing with journals, I saw that even though I still enjoyed things very much, it was a fraction of my enjoyment years ago. Sometimes a new thing like filming jgirls came up, that I hadn't tried before. It was a temporary boost that delayed my quitting. I found the easiest way to quit is to soft quit, to take a short break that becomes longer and longer as you do other things you truly like. I never stopped using porn, and I suppose I am lucky that I can be satisfied with it for that long. And while mongering I can't really use porn much (they just don't mix since you can't perform), so in a way I am always choosing.

When it is time to quit, best not to think of it as quitting. It can be stressful. You think you can't quit even when trying to quit, and my point is even if that were true, in my case that ended up being 3 years at times. I couldn't have predicted it. I think it is easier to do this when you don't think of it as black and white of quitting versus not quitting. There comes a point when you are sick of it, and want to focus on something more important in your life. So just do it, starting any time. Be free.

[BSouthgate]

Great thread, lots of opinion and situations discussed that I can relate to.

I'm at a pivotal point in my 'mongering career' where I want to give it up but not sure I can. Uncertain if I am wired for monogamy. I love my wife of 11 years and we still have a great sex life considering she is close to 50. We try once a week, she is an active participant and genuinely enjoys the intimacy. Would probably be more often but I'm not as enticed when I'm seeing 1-2 providers a week. I've put her through hell after she found out about a year long affair I was having years ago. That was the only civi I partook in. It almost destroyed us but somehow she gave me another chance and thousands of dollars spent in therapy. I've only seen pros since..

Your mind is not sick. You are normal. We all have different tendencies toward polyamory. It is like being 0%, 20%, 50%, or 100% gay. All normal and natural. It makes no sense to do conversion therapy for gayness as it makes no sense for polyamory.

Your problem is your dishonesty with your wife and your guilt. You got trapped in a relationship with your wife and found out that it did not work when you "cheated" with another woman. Your wife found out. She could not understand or accept, and you stopped your outside relationship, but you could not stop thinking about sex with other women.

This advice may be hard to accept, but I recommend you stop having sex with your wife. By having sex with her, you are endangering her health, and you are being more dishonest and accumulating more guilt. She may seek other men. If so, do not discourage her. On the contrary, encourage her to find partners, swingers, etc. Best if you both can find other singles, couples, groups together. Might it lead to divorce? Perhaps. But if so, the error was the initial long-term commitment to monogamy, a road you could not travel. In the meantime, do not ever tell her about your escort and massage adventures. Enjoy them discreetly.

[LilBuddyGillig]

Great thread, lots of opinion and situations discussed that I can relate to.

I'm at a pivotal point in my 'mongering career' where I want to give it up but not sure I can. Uncertain if I am wired for monogamy. I love my wife of 11 years and we still have a great sex life considering she is close to 50. We try once a week, she is an active participant and genuinely enjoys the intimacy. Would probably be more often but I'm not as enticed when I'm seeing 1-2 providers a week. I've put her through hell after she found out about a year long affair I was having years ago. That was the only civi I partook in. It almost destroyed us but somehow she gave me another chance and thousands of dollars spent in therapy. I've only seen pros since.

For me, mongering is more than just pussy. I don't seek companionship from them. I don't need conversation. It's a control issue knowing I can 'buy' them to perform for my pleasure. Probably some sick and thwarted manifestation from the relation I had with my mother. I don't give a shit whether it was good for them. I don't want to connect with them. I'm a sick puppy. I pay to leave. I enjoy seeing how much I can make them do for me, how much I can get away with, knowing this is a business transaction and I'm the consumer.

I have very little control when presented with BBFS opportunity. It's a rush for me. BBBJ is a requirement. I get tested and miraculously haven't caught anything. YET. Playing Russian roulette and the odds are by far not in my favor at this point in the game. It is depleting trying to keep up living this 'secret life. ' Linking of devices, shared data, second phones, private browsers, tracking, etc. I've got a good system in place that has worked for many years despite a keen wife. Between Google and Apple, technology is not in a mongers favor. Need separate hobby phone and computer.

I'm beginning to not feel as invincible. One mistake, one slip up, and I'll lose her for good. It's a miracle she stuck with me until now. For so long I felt ambivalent to the situation. I felt I needed the variety in my life and different sexual experiences, that it was purely a physical need of mine that she would never be able to comprehend and so I kept it from her. I would never divulge my true sexual history, it would only traumatize my wife.

Not sure where I'm going with this, but with the waning invincibility and the surge of negative feelings (shame, guilt, remorse) perhaps just realizing it's time for change. I was callous to my risky behaviors, jeopardizing her health out of my own selfish pursuits. The shame isn't that I wasn't monogamous or anything towards those that pursue this hobby, it's how reckless I have been toward her well being. She deserves more. She deserves better. Maybe it's time to place her as my priority.

Beneath it all, my fear is I may be too far gone to be able to return to monogamy.

[BSouthgate]

What can you do paying for a video section? 3 cameras, 3 stands, 2 lights, extension cord and chargers. Nothing heavy. The main camera is palm sized with mechanical zoom lense. One phone on the opposite side of the camera. The other phone hand held for close up, if not on a small stand on the nightstand. The led lights are very light, a bit bigger than the hand. The stands are full height but light because they don't to support anything heavy. Everything can be fit in an office bag. Other than the small camera, they don't look like much equipment.

I learned the hard way if there is bright light from the windows or even lamp, there is only a narrow angle that gives you good imagery. With lights that you can move, there's no limit. I just lock everything in the car and throw away the key. Can't have any visible locks that invite inspection.

Sounds awkward. Your partner will be so aware of the cameras and lights. Can she get horny that way?

[FreeWally]

I learned the hard way if there is bright light from the windows or even lamp, there is only a narrow angle that gives you good imagery. With lights that you can move, there's no limit. I just lock everything in the car and throw away the key. Can't have any visible locks that invite inspection.

Lighting is really important. That said, I just have the girl turn the lights on and use a gopro. I know what the difference is, but I do not want the liability of carrying equipment around and storing it. The less things the better. Obviously the video gets deleted off the gopro after transfer. Don't forget to do that soon.

Have as few things involved as possible. Keep your security as simple as possible and make some sacrifices.

[RealSexyPanda]

Awesome thanks, if anyone has better suggestions, that'd be great to know.

Have used the same. The results are emailed within a couple days, so use a burner email. They will send you several emails including promotional marketing stuff.

[James D 2004]

Do I read this right? You bring studio lights & tripods to sessions. Obviously to record. And you left your other bag inside?

Wow, hey, more power to you, but with all that shit, seems to me you need to find a storage solution that's unique as you are.

Most guys I would think just need to hide a burner phone, which I see here from time to time people forget & get THAT discovered, you've raised it to a while new level!

What other kind of shit do you bring? No, I'm not volunteering to be your squire, just mildly impressed.

What can you do paying for a video section? 3 cameras, 3 stands, 2 lights, extension cord and chargers. Nothing heavy. The main camera is palm sized with mechanical zoom lense. One phone on the opposite side of the camera. The other phone hand held for close up, if not on a small stand on the nightstand. The led lights are very light, a bit bigger than the hand. The stands are full height but light because they don't to support anything heavy. Everything can be fit in an office bag. Other than the small camera, they don't look like much equipment.

I learned the hard way if there is bright light from the windows or even lamp, there is only a narrow angle that gives you good imagery. With lights that you can move, there's no limit. I just lock everything in the car and throw away the key. Can't have any visible locks that invite inspection.

[Taws6]

I have no reason to carry a locked box around. Perhaps make it like an OEM storage box that is always there. I also used hidden compartments but NEXT time I will lock them too. I also lock the car. But I was just bring.

In a shopping bag in for resupplying and cleaning. BTW I threw the rest my equipment out of the car like two portable studio lights and telescopic stands. In this life or the next.

Do I read this right? You bring studio lights & tripods to sessions. Obviously to record. And you left your other bag inside?

Wow, hey, more power to you, but with all that shit, seems to me you need to find a storage solution that's unique as you are.

Most guys I would think just need to hide a burner phone, which I see here from time to time people forget & get THAT discovered, you've raised it to a while new level!

What other kind of shit do you bring? No, I'm not volunteering to be your squire, just mildly impressed.

[James D 2004]

I have a ccw. I have several safes / carry bags with combo locks. My family knows not to go near those. I leave all my "stuff" in one of the bags, locked. I can leave it anywhere in the car / house and know that it'll never get bothered.

I have no reason to carry a locked box around. Perhaps make it like an OEM storage box that is always there. I also used hidden compartments but NEXT time I will lock them too. I also lock the car. But I was just bring.

In a shopping bag in for resupplying and cleaning. BTW I threw the rest my equipment out of the car like two portable studio lights and telescopic stands. In this life or the next.

[Citrus1999]

My hardware bag was momentarily inside the house while I ran errands. It was discovered. I'm a new gynecodentist. I can explain that everything is for self pleasure, the finger condoms, the prescriptions, wipes. Hard to explain is the dental dam which has a on the package a masked woman with the dam on her pussy. The most difficult is the bad breath mouth rinse. I come up with visiting strippers. Thats the cheapest. That's my 2nd time after many years. Hopefully this thing shall pass. The consequence is I really have to do it myself for the foreseeable future. I have so many plans! Wish me luck.

I have a ccw. I have several safes / carry bags with combo locks. My family knows not to go near those. I leave all my "stuff" in one of the bags, locked. I can leave it anywhere in the car / house and know that it'll never get bothered.