A Married Monger's Lament

[Garmadon]

Again, I will push everyone to up their OpSec, here are some rules:

Get a hobby e-mail address, you will need that to set up your hobby phone.

Get a prepaid burner smart phone. Then get a Google Voice number as your hobby phone number, it masks your burner number. You want to be able to top it off with cash.

Make up a hobby name. I do not use my real name with anyone in the hobby.

Find a picture of someone on the Internet that sort of looks like you. But is NOT you. That's your new I'd.

Call yourself and see what the caller I'd says. Mine actually has someone else's name, I use that from time to time.

Add private communication apps like Kik and Line. Some people say get Snap, I have not done this yet.

Use Firefox Focus as your mobile browser, it deletes all cookies when you are done. DuckDuckGo is also good. NEVER use Google. It will keep track of your browsing.

Hide your burner and disavow any knowledge of it if it ever surfaces. The drawer at work is a good place.

Now your real phone is free and clear for you to walk in and leave on the kitchen counter for all to access.

Or never get married or get divorced and live your truth.

Sorry just bookmarking for the future.

[FarFarAway]

I recommend TracFone, I have posted on it before. Yes, cash or prepaid debit to keep it going, like $80 / year total.

I love using GV because I can get on a browser and check texts when I am at home, so the burner never need be here.

I use the Brave browser. VPNing into a large corporate server untraceable back to me. In the past I have used others, including Tor and those including VPN, but sometimes the sites you want to enter don't work w / them. Brave seems to work w / all.

[SonChi]

My own carelessness and stupidity leaving my cell phone out. Things always work out for the better and although we are done, think it is better this way. To try and find someone I'm more sexually compatible with than living in a sexless relationship. The trouble with most of us is everything else is good except for sex, and that keeps us in it for years. I'm convinced it all can be good, rare, but possible.

Again, I will push everyone to up their OpSec, here are some rules:

Get a hobby e-mail address, you will need that to set up your hobby phone.

Get a prepaid burner smart phone. Then get a Google Voice number as your hobby phone number, it masks your burner number. You want to be able to top it off with cash.

Make up a hobby name. I do not use my real name with anyone in the hobby.

Find a picture of someone on the Internet that sort of looks like you. But is NOT you. That's your new I'd.

Call yourself and see what the caller I'd says. Mine actually has someone else's name, I use that from time to time.

Add private communication apps like Kik and Line. Some people say get Snap, I have not done this yet.

Use Firefox Focus as your mobile browser, it deletes all cookies when you are done. DuckDuckGo is also good. NEVER use Google. It will keep track of your browsing.

Hide your burner and disavow any knowledge of it if it ever surfaces. The drawer at work is a good place.

Now your real phone is free and clear for you to walk in and leave on the kitchen counter for all to access.

Or never get married or get divorced and live your truth.

[Old Chinese Guy]

OCG- I am sorry to hear that your wife found out. If you are willing to share I would be curious how, and what the fallout was after. It's a concern I share and wonder if I am being careful enough.

My own carelessness and stupidity leaving my cell phone out. Things always work out for the better and although we are done, think it is better this way. To try and find someone I'm more sexually compatible with than living in a sexless relationship. The trouble with most of us is everything else is good except for sex, and that keeps us in it for years. I'm convinced it all can be good, rare, but possible.

[SonChi]

OCG- I am sorry to hear that your wife found out. If you are willing to share I would be curious how, and what the fallout was after. It's a concern I share and wonder if I am being careful enough.

I think all attached men carry the fear of getting found out. It will not be pretty financially, reputationally, or emotionally. You are probably NOT being careful enough, so increase your Operational Security or OpSec (we have an entire forum on this). Start there and stay low.

[ClassySemite]

Was in the same boat as you a few years ago and felt the same way. But then she found out and that was it! How do you think your wife would feel about your hobby if she knew?

We survived my affairs that were unearthed several years ago. I'm confident we'll survive. I'm also very careful now. Unless she hired a PI, I'm not at all worried.

[MechanicJack]

Was in the same boat as you a few years ago and felt the same way. But then she found out and that was it! How do you think your wife would feel about your hobby if she knew?

OCG- I am sorry to hear that your wife found out. If you are willing to share I would be curious how, and what the fallout was after. It's a concern I share and wonder if I am being careful enough.

[ThrobbinWood]

Wish I would have found this board sooner. I'm in the same boat. Have to put up appearances. I'm a song leader at my church and have wonderful children. But my wife doesn't satisfy me sexually and I still have a thirst to get laid. So I've been seeing a lot of working Korean girls as well as a few Indies. It's hard and I feel guilty but a man has needs.

Hopefully we married mongers can support one another. I'm trying to get into the new Kagency without giving PII.

Shibale.

Like the old saying goes, "For most married men monogamy isn't a problem, it is the celibacy that is difficult".

[Old Chinese Guy]

I've been married 20+ years and we have a wonderful daughter off to college. My wife has her very successful career and social life and she respects that I have my own life too. I won't ever tell her about this secret hobby of mine but in my mind it has nothing to do with her. These young Asian hotties exist only as a a fun hobby and release for me. An opportunity to live out my fantasies. My wife is the love of my life and the woman I adore and even worship. And although I find her beautiful her interests aren't in fulfilling my desires like it was when we first met and that's ok!

Was in the same boat as you a few years ago and felt the same way. But then she found out and that was it! How do you think your wife would feel about your hobby if she knew?

[FarFarAway]

Didn't realize this was a northern Virginia board as I live in the PNW. It was late and I may have been a little drunk when I posted.

There is a similar thread for Orange County, CA.

[ClassySemite]

I've been married 20+ years and we have a wonderful daughter off to college. My wife has her very successful career and social life and she respects that I have my own life too. I won't ever tell her about this secret hobby of mine but in my mind it has nothing to do with her. These young Asian hotties exist only as a a fun hobby and release for me. An opportunity to live out my fantasies. My wife is the love of my life and the woman I adore and even worship. And although I find her beautiful her interests aren't in fulfilling my desires like it was when we first met and that's ok!

[Chulgoon]

Wish I would have found this board sooner. I'm in the same boat. Have to put up appearances. I'm a song leader at my church and have wonderful children. But my wife doesn't satisfy me sexually and I still have a thirst to get laid. So I've been seeing a lot of working Korean girls as well as a few Indies. It's hard and I feel guilty but a man has needs.

Hopefully we married mongers can support one another. I'm trying to get into the new Kagency without giving PII..

Didn't realize this was a northern Virginia board as I live in the PNW. It was late and I may have been a little drunk when I posted.

[Chulgoon]

Wish I would have found this board sooner. I'm in the same boat. Have to put up appearances. I'm a song leader at my church and have wonderful children. But my wife doesn't satisfy me sexually and I still have a thirst to get laid. So I've been seeing a lot of working Korean girls as well as a few Indies. It's hard and I feel guilty but a man has needs.

Hopefully we married mongers can support one another. I'm trying to get into the new Kagency without giving PII.

Shibale.

[Sexingit]

The problem with Tinder is the exposure. On sugar sites for example girls value privacy so are less likely to expose you because they don't want to be exposed themselves for basically escorting. On Tinder it's full of sex but hides behind the mask of a dating site.

So if a girl from your life recognizes you she will keep quiet or reach out to meet. On Tinder I could easily see girls spreading rumors of seeing you on there because there's no shame or stigma for her to be on there. The risk of mutual destruction is not there so it's dangerous.

Tinder is cheap but another risk factor would be a waste of time with a large amount that people that actually want to go out on multiple dates before any action takes place or free meals. I'm sure you can dig for hookups but sounds like work and over exposure.

I don't use my photo but I use a photo of a person that closely resembles me. The amount of time invested is priceless considering hooking up with people is legal and prostitution is not.

I'm just saying that my sex life hasn't been this good ever. I'm spending more time for sure but I know for a fact that I don't have to worry about uncle on the other side. I've truly found girls that only want FWB and it's awesome. I can stop by essentially whenever I want, I get a standard NOVA at the very least, and it's all spontaneity. Some of the girls actually demand me to stop by. I promise it's very fruitful if you put in some effort, if not the same effort you invest into verifying reviews, comments, research on old ads etc.

Good luck mongering!

[GAGuy2020]

The problem with Tinder is the exposure. On sugar sites for example girls value privacy so are less likely to expose you because they don't want to be exposed themselves for basically escorting. On Tinder it's full of sex but hides behind the mask of a dating site.

So if a girl from your life recognizes you she will keep quiet or reach out to meet. On Tinder I could easily see girls spreading rumors of seeing you on there because there's no shame or stigma for her to be on there. The risk of mutual destruction is not there so it's dangerous.

Tinder is cheap but another risk factor would be a waste of time with a large amount that people that actually want to go out on multiple dates before any action takes place or free meals. I'm sure you can dig for hookups but sounds like work and over exposure.

I know you said that you didn't want to have to deal with extra work like maintaining accounts on the burner but I'll have to admit that I'be gotten amazing results on Tinder. I got a platinum membership and went to town on likes.

Right now I have three girls that I am juggling. I want to add more to the stable but it takes some effort and lots of following up but at the end it's much more worth it plus I don't have to pay for anything but good weed.