Massage Parlor Reports

[Walker333]

Are pretty much the worst time to go to a spa. I learned that the hard way. The two worst experiences I've ever had were on Sunday nights. It's because they put out the new girls and the flunkies just to keep the doors open. None of the attractive experienced girls want to work weekends. They want to have fun like everyone else. They want to work 5 days and have weekends off. Most of them don't get 2 days off though. My main girl does but lately her massage has become non-existent and I went to see somebody else.

I went to Yun Ping based on recent reviews on RM. I knew right when she opened the door that it was probably going to be a bad time. The problem was that she was mildly attractive and in her 20's which is becoming increasingly rare in Chicago. So I rolled the dice.

The further out in the boonies of China these girls are from, the closer they are to semi-retardation. It's not their fault. It's simply a lack of education and manners. The country needs several more generations of advancement before we can expect the country girls to be anything but spazzes. There are exceptions but they are rare.

The massage was terrible. It was her spreading oil on my back the way you would spread a rub on a steak. At least a couple times I caught her watching her phone with one hand and sliming me with the other. Now this is the best part, on the flip, she tells me she's never done it before. And I believe her. I had to show her how to give a handy. And she was terrible. I mean absolutely an abomination. It was like she was working some mechanical pump, like she was expecting it to spurt after a couple pumps like a lawnmower.

The worst part was her attitude. It was somewhat authoritative yet completely silly at the same time. She is probably on the spectrum somewhere, sent to the US by frustrated family members who were thinking at least she wouldn't fuck up tugging dicks.

I gave her a twenty as a tip and walked out. She didn't protest. There are no redeeming qualities, unfortunately. It's okay to be new. It's not okay to have her personality and be new, because in a sense she will always be new.

The place is a shit-hole anyways. Nasty TS and nastier rooms. There was some kind of party out front too, in the fake ass hair salon. It was all older Chinese and they were huddled around a table.

On Sundays, late in the morning, close to noon, it was actually good. I had to admit that I have never done Sunday nights. However, Sunday mornings, especially on snowy or rainy days weren't bad for me, very calm, quiet, no phone. Door answering interruptions etc. Even a few extra minutes were available.

[Angai]

Gunnison spa shut down Friday night by Chicago officials. Said to be prostitution and cops loaded up on a ton of evidence Friday night. Said to include names of some of the regular customers. Hope any of you mongers never left any evidence at this place. The place seemed to be getting better. This was a surprise. But cops love to surprise. Guess there were no customers there at the time. Well. Time to move on.

That's a shame I only went there twice. Well even if they had customer info they couldn't do anything with it all the same.

[OrdLover]

There a review of lotus spa on Irving Park at Rubmap. What does the review says about this new place? Good or bad?

[DonTheMon]

Gunnison spa shut down Friday night by Chicago officials. Said to be prostitution and cops loaded up on a ton of evidence Friday night. Said to include names of some of the regular customers. Hope any of you mongers never left any evidence at this place. The place seemed to be getting better. This was a surprise. But cops love to surprise. Guess there were no customers there at the time. Well. Time to move on.

[MWiggly2]

Search: relaxation. Now west of downtown. Not tried.

http://chicago.backpage.com/Therapeu...icago/49322472

Is this massage parlor in Chicago? If so PM my the info!

[E2304]

Hi everyone,

I'm a long time lurker, but I figured it's time to provide some feedback here.

I went to SXL a few times so far. As some of the fellow forum contributors noted, the facilities are very clean. I would say this spa is rather on the expensive side. One hours massage is $. 7. For a handshake, the expected min tip is $. 6. And if you're new to this spa, the provider may ask questions.

Here's a quick summary on the providers here:

Yoyo: Avoid if possible. She would ask for ridiculous amount for nude HJ (last time she asked for $1. 2 tip for that). And she doesn't even allow FIV or anything similar. Her massage is OK, but if you draw her, just go with the basic $. 6 HE. She allows OTC roaming on her back, but not her cans (which are very small anyways).

Mary: One of my favorites. Good massage, fun to talk to, brown eye treatment (if it's your thing) is included in the $. 6 tip for he. She also allows for OTC roaming.

Amy: She is not much to look at. Her massage is solid. HE is OK. Last week, Yoyo told me that Amy no longer works there, but it may be BS.

Kelly: Pretty good attitude. YMMV, but I was allowed UTC for pretty much everywhere during HE. She gives good massages too, but she's not a looker.

I'll keep on posting in the near future. Thanks everyone for this great forum!

Kelly. Last client of day. Good skills but emotionally detached. $80/ hr deep tissue. I rejected topless L2 $120. $60 L1 done well. I had fun last year with younger provider. Will not repeat.

[Miamiat]

I recently saw a Chrissy or Christina at this place. It was nothing like described below, so I assume she is an HE only provider? She was cute and was great with the hands.

Hi everyone,

I'm a long time lurker, but I figured it's time to provide some feedback here.

I went to SXL a few times so far. As some of the fellow forum contributors noted, the facilities are very clean. I would say this spa is rather on the expensive side. One hours massage is $. 7. For a handshake, the expected min tip is $. 6. And if you're new to this spa, the provider may ask questions.

Here's a quick summary on the providers here:

Yoyo: Avoid if possible. She would ask for ridiculous amount for nude HJ (last time she asked for $1. 2 tip for that). And she doesn't even allow FIV or anything similar. Her massage is OK, but if you draw her, just go with the basic $. 6 HE. She allows OTC roaming on her back, but not her cans (which are very small anyways).

Mary: One of my favorites. Good massage, fun to talk to, brown eye treatment (if it's your thing) is included in the $. 6 tip for he. She also allows for OTC roaming.

Amy: She is not much to look at. Her massage is solid. HE is OK. Last week, Yoyo told me that Amy no longer works there, but it may be BS.

Kelly: Pretty good attitude. YMMV, but I was allowed UTC for pretty much everywhere during HE. She gives good massages too, but she's not a looker.

I'll keep on posting in the near future. Thanks everyone for this great forum!

[Averily]

Hey all, I'm visiting town tomorrow and hoping to get some solid recommendations. I have been reading the forum and have some ideas but hoping to get good direction. I'm looking for a respectable massage with some generous boob play. Not interested in the hardcore stuff. PM me if you like please. Incall / outcall ok. I'll be happy to reciprocate for Detroit visits.

/ AV.

[Ron M]

If some of you guys can, how about pooling your money together for a trip to Asia. There are so many young Asian girls you can play with instead of the old grandmas here. At least in Asia you're guaranteed the Happy Ending of your choice.

[Archer927]

I'm from Milwaukee but will be traveling through the northern burbs of Chicago on Sunday headed back to MKE. I've heard the AMPs and Euro style massages south of the border rock compared to what we have access to. Can anyone suggest a spot or two within a reasonable distance of the freeway heading to the land of cheese and beer?

[CoolPatrick]

First off, great report. But I'd assume you were saying $70 for one-hour massage, and then $60 for the happy ending. Otherwise your shorthand suggested $170 and then $160, which is insane, unless these numbers were exactly what you paid and asked by AMT (you have my condolences if this was true).

If you were saying seventy and sixty dollars and you want to use shorthand, just remember the dollar sign (stands for the Benjamin, 100 dollars. Just say. 7 and. 6 and do not include the dollar sign. $. 7 means $170 dollars. When in doubt, just typed the donation in the conventional way.

Hi everyone,

I'm a long time lurker, but I figured it's time to provide some feedback here.

I went to SXL a few times so far. As some of the fellow forum contributors noted, the facilities are very clean. I would say this spa is rather on the expensive side. One hours massage is $. 7. For a handshake, the expected min tip is $. 6. And if you're new to this spa, the provider may ask questions.

Here's a quick summary on the providers here:

Yoyo: Avoid if possible. She would ask for ridiculous amount for nude HJ (last time she asked for $1. 2 tip for that). And she doesn't even allow FIV or anything similar. Her massage is OK, but if you draw her, just go with the basic $. 6 HE. She allows OTC roaming on her back, but not her cans (which are very small anyways).

Mary: One of my favorites. Good massage, fun to talk to, brown eye treatment (if it's your thing) is included in the $. 6 tip for he. She also allows for OTC roaming.

Amy: She is not much to look at. Her massage is solid. HE is OK. Last week, Yoyo told me that Amy no longer works there, but it may be BS.

Kelly: Pretty good attitude. YMMV, but I was allowed UTC for pretty much everywhere during HE. She gives good massages too, but she's not a looker.

I'll keep on posting in the near future. Thanks everyone for this great forum!

[SaintChuck]

You wrote: I finally guided her hand to the little guy and that's where things went downhill.

I think that, if you would have had a raging boner, then things would have been uphill with your desired outcome.

From all of her teasing and tickling my balls, I had a boner. It didn't matter because she wasn't giving a HJ. SaintChuck.

[Gentle Mist]

http://chicago.backpage.com/Therapeu...girls/81324797 During the week I was driving home from the city and traffic was horrible, so I decide to get off the highway and visit an AMP. I walk into this place and was greeted by a woman in her 40's and she was about a 3 on the AMP scale. When she smiled she became a 1 because her teeth were like burnt little match heads. We went to the room and I laid on my back, to let her know that I wasn't there for a massage. After a few minutes she sat on the table and started brushing her fingers over me. I started working my way up her legs and feeling her butt. She got more comfortable and it got to the point where she was laying on her side and it was like we were in 69 position. After a few minutes I removed the towel and she continued this light feather touch and she tickled my balls a few times. I finally guided her hand to the little guy and that's where things went downhill. She told me that she doesn't do that and that she only gives massage. I explained to her that this was part of the massage and that it was the most important part of the massage. She got this dumb look on her face like she was actually thinking about it. She finally said no. Kind of funny that she had no problem tickling my balls several times, but a hand job was out of the question. LOL. I got up off the table and got dressed and left. I figured that sitting in traffic was better than getting severe blue balls. If you are a Monger that likes to have your balls tickled, then this is the place for you. SaintChuck.

You wrote: I finally guided her hand to the little guy and that's where things went downhill.

I think that, if you would have had a raging boner, then things would have been uphill with your desired outcome.

[ArielDude28]

http://chicago.backpage.com/Therapeu...girls/81324797 During the week I was driving home from the city and traffic was horrible, so I decide to get off the highway and visit an AMP. I walk into this place and was greeted by a woman in her 40's and she was about a 3 on the AMP scale. When she smiled she became a 1 because her teeth were like burnt little match heads. We went to the room and I laid on my back, to let her know that I wasn't there for a massage. After a few minutes she sat on the table and started brushing her fingers over me. I started working my way up her legs and feeling her butt. She got more comfortable and it got to the point where she was laying on her side and it was like we were in 69 position. After a few minutes I removed the towel and she continued this light feather touch and she tickled my balls a few times. I finally guided her hand to the little guy and that's where things went downhill. She told me that she doesn't do that and that she only gives massage. I explained to her that this was part of the massage and that it was the most important part of the massage. She got this dumb look on her face like she was actually thinking about it. She finally said no. Kind of funny that she had no problem tickling my balls several times, but a hand job was out of the question. LOL. I got up off the table and got dressed and left. I figured that sitting in traffic was better than getting severe blue balls. If you are a Monger that likes to have your balls tickled, then this is the place for you. SaintChuck.

I literally rofl reading your funny post. Thanks. I never visited this part of the city and I also started to apply new skills to walk out if I don; t like the person who is going to massage me. I get in and the moment I see a negative sign I pick my phone and pretend talking to someone to just walk out. Since I am on phone (though they think I am on or pretending), there is less chance of them requesting me to stay. It may look rude, but I just want to save my time and money at that point.

[RaccoonJoe]

Hi everyone,

I'm a long time lurker, but I figured it's time to provide some feedback here.

I went to SXL a few times so far. As some of the fellow forum contributors noted, the facilities are very clean. I would say this spa is rather on the expensive side. One hours massage is $. 7. For a handshake, the expected min tip is $. 6. And if you're new to this spa, the provider may ask questions.

Here's a quick summary on the providers here:

Yoyo: Avoid if possible. She would ask for ridiculous amount for nude HJ (last time she asked for $1. 2 tip for that). And she doesn't even allow FIV or anything similar. Her massage is OK, but if you draw her, just go with the basic $. 6 HE. She allows OTC roaming on her back, but not her cans (which are very small anyways).

Mary: One of my favorites. Good massage, fun to talk to, brown eye treatment (if it's your thing) is included in the $. 6 tip for he. She also allows for OTC roaming.

Amy: She is not much to look at. Her massage is solid. HE is OK. Last week, Yoyo told me that Amy no longer works there, but it may be BS.

Kelly: Pretty good attitude. YMMV, but I was allowed UTC for pretty much everywhere during HE. She gives good massages too, but she's not a looker.

I'll keep on posting in the near future. Thanks everyone for this great forum!