Utr

[NoFear101]

IDK Will, HeWolf's revelation turns what was supposed to be a review with actionable information into a gossip rag. I'll think about it.

Lots of mongers write lots ofvreviews on providers who have a limited client list. Michelle1 L in Whorelando is a sterling example. Gives the less lucky hope that one of you luckier bastards will die and a vacancy will open up! LOL.

[Member #6026]

Hmmm No! LOL. Don't be a spoiler.

IDK Will, HeWolf's revelation turns what was supposed to be a review with actionable information into a gossip rag. I'll think about it.

[HeWolf47]

Hmmm No! LOL. Don't be a spoiler.

I agree. Everyone enjoys your journalistic endeavors. Write about your Lena experiences.

Even if she is no longer available for new mongers, those of us still blessed to see her enjoy reading about other's dreams with her.

[NbWill]

Damn! What a downer mate. I guess that absolves me from writing parts 3 and 4, LOL!

Hmmm No! LOL. Don't be a spoiler.

[Member #6026]

Bro' were you one of my classmates in college? UCF '06? Journalism? LOL!. BTW. Thanks for the shout out when you say Daytona Destiny at my place! Was that you? LOL. Don't remember. There were quite a few. Lmao.

LOL, no, I graduated about 10 years before that, and not from UCF.

Guys. I just talked with Lana and she asked me to tell everyone that she is no longer going to take any new clients. She expressed her appreciation for all the clients she has seen and the support that she was given during some trying times in her life. She has a few regular clients who will still be able to see her. If you are on that short list, enjoy your times with her. I will no longer be giving out her number unless some of her regulars drop out and she has a roster spot to fill.

Damn! What a downer mate. I guess that absolves me from writing parts 3 and 4, LOL!

[NoFear101]

During the ensuing period of radio silence I pulled into a hole-in-the-wall petrol station to hunt for a "tall boy." I figured I may as well proceed as if this date were still on, until compelling evidence to the contrary presented itself.

To my surprise, the beer cooler was chock full of tall boys in every domestic variety imaginable. Not wanting discard a full can of beer, no matter how vile, I texted her "Tell me now if you've changed your mind." She promptly replied with a "Not at all," to which I must have audibly exhaled. So HeWolf, I don't know if you were on the other end of that vetting conversation but if you were there vouching for me, thanks a million brother!

I opened the beer case and grabbed a white and blue model with that smug satisfaction one gets when they learn a new word then use it properly in conversation a moment later. I turned back toward the register but stopped in my tracks. I'd realized that if she's going to be drinking this white and blue thing, I should probably join in the festivities. So I turn back to the cooler in search of a craft beer or a high-end import. Zip, zilch, ZERO. And since I'd rather drink my own urine than partake of the selection in front of me, I cast about for an intoxicant I'd be able to stomach. In the end, I settled on the lone hard cider in the case, which was also available in large can format as fate would have it.

Bro' were you one of my classmates in college? UCF '06? Journalism? LOL!. BTW. Thanks for the shout out when you say Daytona Destiny at my place! Was that you? LOL. Don't remember. There were quite a few. Lmao.

[HeWolf47]

Guys. I just talked with Lana and she asked me to tell everyone that she is no longer going to take any new clients. She expressed her appreciation for all the clients she has seen and the support that she was given during some trying times in her life. She has a few regular clients who will still be able to see her. If you are on that short list, enjoy your times with her. I will no longer be giving out her number unless some of her regulars drop out and she has a roster spot to fill.

[Member #6026]

During the ensuing period of radio silence I pulled into a hole-in-the-wall petrol station to hunt for a "tall boy." I figured I may as well proceed as if this date were still on, until compelling evidence to the contrary presented itself.

To my surprise, the beer cooler was chock full of tall boys in every domestic variety imaginable. Not wanting discard a full can of beer, no matter how vile, I texted her "Tell me now if you've changed your mind." She promptly replied with a "Not at all," to which I must have audibly exhaled. So HeWolf, I don't know if you were on the other end of that vetting conversation but if you were there vouching for me, thanks a million brother!

I opened the beer case and grabbed a white and blue model with that smug satisfaction one gets when they learn a new word then use it properly in conversation a moment later. I turned back toward the register but stopped in my tracks. I'd realized that if she's going to be drinking this white and blue thing, I should probably join in the festivities. So I turn back to the cooler in search of a craft beer or a high-end import. Zip, zilch, ZERO. And since I'd rather drink my own urine than partake of the selection in front of me, I cast about for an intoxicant I'd be able to stomach. In the end, I settled on the lone hard cider in the case, which was also available in large can format as fate would have it.

I was soon pulling into the nicest neighborhood I'd mongered in since visiting Destiny Deltona over a year ago. This was a very encouraging sign, as I am a huge believer that ambiance is a critical part of the experience. I parked and alighted behind an SUV with a yoga sticker, confirming I'd found the right house (I'd made that mistake while visiting Sweet Jess in Melbourne, and I'm not interested in a repeat performance). I was soon beckoned into a well-appointed living / dining / kitchen area, soft lighting and candles everywhere, by a 5'3" exotic beauty who was all smiles and flattering remarks. Did you guys know that I'm the most gorgeous bloke who ever lived? No, of course she didn't say that, but that's how her attention made me feel!

We talked in the dining area for a fair bit before meandering to the kitchen for drinks. Lana promptly stowed her tall boy in the fridge, remarking that she'd asked me to bring it because she'd heard somewhere that LEO can't bring alcohol. Her previous LEO accusation suddenly made a lot more sense. Not complete sense, but more sense.

Then she pulled two glasses from the freezer and plunked them down next to a pile of pre-cut limes. I do love a planner. "Can I pour you a shot?" she asked, temptingly wagging a clear bottle in front of me. Now, it's never a good idea to refuse a drink from a beautiful woman, but I had to decline. "No thanks sweetheart, I've got my..." I looked down at the can in my hand. "Hard cider" I said (and I'm ostensibly driving home in 50 minutes I thought to myself).

"You know that's a girly drink" she observed with a laugh. I considered the can in my hand then lowering my head in mock shame. "I do now," I said, laughing along with her. I continued chuckling to myself while watching her toss back a shot, lick salt from her thumb, then suck a lime wedge dry. This is gonna be wicked fun, I mused to myself.

"What's so funny?" she asked, noticing my chuckling. "I am SO putting that in my review!" I laughed. She offered me a coy smile. "Make sure you add what I said about your girly drink" she said with a wink.

"Absolutely," I said. "That's the funniest part".

[Rook111]

I am home after a bit and all my usuals have disappeared. I am looking to hook up before I leave Sunday can anyone throw me some digits?

[RoadWarrior2K]

"Sigh... It's HelloJoshua" I wrote.

I can't wait until chapter II is published!

[Member #6026]

First, a huge shout-out to HeWolf47 and GreenN386 for putting me in touch with the wee lass Lana. Gentlemen, I am in your debt.

It had been over 2 months since my last failed attempt to see Lana when the impulse to meet this exotic temptress overtook me once more. I reached out to see if she wanted to give it another go and received what amounted to a "Who is this?" in reply. Glad to know I'd made such an impression.

With my ego only slightly bruised, I reminded her of our previous conversations and our failed attempt to get together. "Oh that Jamie!" she responded, referring to the mongering alias I'd used months before. And so the date was set for later that evening, when she'd be hosting me at her Palm Coast residence.

Shortly before I was due to leave I messaged her and asked if I could bring her anything. Well, anything in addition to the 200 quid I'd just sealed into an embossed yellow envelope; enough to cover the hour we'd be sharing together. As I was dutifully driving north I received the reply: "Will you grab me a tall boy? You can take it out of donation".

Now, I've mentioned before that I am an insufferable snob when it comes to libations, so my reply may not come as a surprise to some:

"Ummm... what exactly is a tall boy?"

This apparently was the wrong thing to ask. In hind sight, I should have sought help from Google or Urban Dictionary before admitting my naivety. But I didn't, and received the utterly perplexing response: "You're definitely a cop. Tall canned beer silly".

So let's unpack that a little, just so you can share the frame of mind I was in. First, I'm wondering how my ignorance regarding colloquial beer can vernacular translates into me being a cop? Second, who orders beer based on the shape of it's container? Isn't what's inside the important bit? A six pack of Bud Light makes sense. A forty of OE makes sense (hey, I watched Boyz and the Hood). A fifth of JD makes sense. But asking for a tall can of beer? That's some perplexing shit.

As these thoughts are running around in my head, the other shoe drops: "You never touched base with hewolf?" she writes. Perfect!, I'm thinking to myself. She's texting HeWolf right now, who of course has no idea who "Jamie" is. This date's about to implode because I was too lazy to Google "tall boy"!

Then she delivered the coup de grace: "What's your site name?

Well there it was, the question I'd been dreading had been asked. I really didn't want to give it to her as I didn't want my handle associated with the real me, but there was nothing else for it. I was either going to fess up and maybe save this date (unless she read some of my posts, LOL) or I was going home to wank on the couch.

"Sigh... It's HelloJoshua" I wrote.

[YoungSmokey]

That's what PMs are for my well versed in the hobby friend! Smh.

I will send you the digits, delete some messages.

[NoFear101]

So you guys want to meet the Dynamic Duo and new UTRs? So I throw it out here and a dozen of you text them asking for pics and then go crickets on them? Amazing! Then we wonder why the USASG affiliation gets us no respect anymore? I remember when I first created the UTR thread with Mindy and then with Michell2 L. The response was overwhelming and welcomed AND appreciated. We were kings and the girls respected us. Whatever happened to those days idk but I would sure like to see them back. Maybe its the spike in prices is my thoughts.

[NoFear101]

Hello NF,

I would love info, pics, digits, etc.

Thanks.

That's what PMs are for my well versed in the hobby friend! Smh.

[YoungSmokey]

So I only know of 1 utr as of now and would like to know a few more, I know I am not a senior member and would like to get there sometime but if you could help a monger out and point me in the right direction, I will be forever grateful!