Humor: Just for laughs

[Rrayr]

My Top favorite handles.

Alright hoodlums.

AtTheOffice.

CuddleMaster.

GinaSeeker.

HairpieceOnMyHead.

Hitter_N_daShitter.

In2 Feet.

ExitOnly.

ForeSkin1.

GPS_Seeker.

GetOffmyLawn.

JustFeet.

ToeSucker.

NoHablaEngles.

JoseWho.

MajorVulva.

PayemToLeave.

StinkStar.

TeaBaggnIt.

ThisSideUp.

UncleLester.

WhatUTalknBout.

WhosOnFirst.

WhatsOnSecond.

WizzyWig.

WigCharmmer.

YourMom.

YourSister.

Rrayr.

[StonesRoller69]

"Of course I have hairpiece on my head. Where else would I have it. On mi dick!?"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gB5HsDRRPRY

'Quarter Pounder, man!' But one of my favorite movie scenes of all time -- have often tried to replicate it -- is the part about 'Hey, don't take those, man. '.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCXqbjo6cb0

Check out the license plate on the car! Don't know how old you are, dude, but I remember getting their first ALBUM when it came out and listening to it over and over again. Fucking hilarious stuff back in the day.

[StonesRoller69]

I had the pleasure of attending many of Mr. Warmths shows. Agreed he could embarrass the robes off the Pope. Yet he was a very funny and classy guy. If you was unfortunate enough to be the target of his venom a bottle of very fine champagne arrived at your table. He definitely knew which side his bread was buttered on. Very sadly missed. Me, I'm just an 'OL Gator.

He truly was a great, one of the last of a generation nearly gone now (Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jackie Gleason, Lucille Ball, Jonathan Winters, Bob Hope, I could go on and on). I have to admit I didn't know he was still living when I made that post. I never saw him live, wish I had. Found this online but not even the tip of the iceberg of the depth of Rickles' insult talents. No one did it better. And I agree, I always heard he was classy and actually had a big heart. He also had a nice little role in Casino.

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/...liners-w475476

The video will give you 'youngsters' out there some idea of his greatness. In his prime, Rickles was lightning fast and needed no script to hurl cutting insult after insult. You couldn't help but admire him. May he rest in peace -- well, maybe with a few good insults hurled his way.

[RustyMuffler]

Yes, I would. Provided she is at least 18.

Ran across this while looking for spinners online LOL.

[Gator145]

Ahh, was there ever a better insult machine than Don Rickles? He could rip you a new one before you new what hit you.

I had the pleasure of attending many of Mr. Warmths shows. Agreed he could embarrass the robes off the Pope. Yet he was a very funny and classy guy. If you was unfortunate enough to be the target of his venom a bottle of very fine champagne arrived at your table. He definitely knew which side his bread was buttered on. Very sadly missed. Me, I'm just an 'OL Gator.

[Professor69]

Driving home from a dream I had stopped at redlight heard my car making an awful racket. I was busy thinking of what excuse I could come up with for being so far away from where I was supposed to be. All my gauges were fine no warning from computer so I carefully pulled out no probs. Stopped noticed racket was kinda of a rhythmic pulsing sound. It wa kinda of familiar but I just wanted to get somewhere I could explain. Stop again and it dawned on me so I pull off into parking lot and check my trunk sure enough when I tossed myplaytime bag back in trunk it had bumped the start switch on the toy I had been using on her. It was against the fender insride trunk and it was loud LOL. Amazed how the batteries lasted.

EZ.

Now that is pretty funny, I could see many of us thinking those same thoughts at some point in time.

[HitAndQuit63]

Driving home from a dream I had stopped at redlight heard my car making an awful racket. I was busy thinking of what excuse I could come up with for being so far away from where I was supposed to be. All my gauges were fine no warning from computer so I carefully pulled out no probs. Stopped noticed racket was kinda of a rhythmic pulsing sound. It wa kinda of familiar but I just wanted to get somewhere I could explain. Stop again and it dawned on me so I pull off into parking lot and check my trunk sure enough when I tossed myplaytime bag back in trunk it had bumped the start switch on the toy I had been using on her. It was against the fender insride trunk and it was loud LOL. Amazed how the batteries lasted.

EZ.

[JoeyMahoney69]

Ran across this while looking for spinners online LOL.

[Rrayr]

"Of course I have hairpiece on my head. Where else would I have it. On mi dick!?"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gB5HsDRRPRY

[StonesRoller69]

Similarly, Don Rickles used to say he once lost $20 in a casino -- and spent $1000 trying to get it back.

Ahh, was there ever a better insult machine than Don Rickles? He could rip you a new one before you new what hit you.

[EchoEcho]

Similarly, Don Rickles used to say he once lost $20 in a casino -- then he spent $1000 trying to get it back.

[TheCoolDude]

A squirrel was crossing double railroad tracks. As he cross the first set of tracks, a train was coming and just caught the tip of his tail. He looked back and saw the tip of his tail between the tracks. He decided to go back to get the piece of his tail. When he started back to get his tail, a train was coming the other way and chop off his head.

The moral of the story is don't lose your head trying to get a piece of tail.

[Rrayr]

MGTOW feminist Diana Davidson's "rape joke" of the week. (At very end of the video).

Women and why they wear makeup.

https://youtu.be/aI34-_EHgus

[StonesRoller69]

I found this a bit funny and had to share.

There is this loud mouth kid at work who brags about being a "ladies man". He says he can walk into any place and pick up any lady he wants. And after one night with him, no woman would ever want another man cause he was so, so big. Everybody at work really can't stand him and all his stories.

His attitude has been a bit different the past couple of week though. He says he met his "perfect" woman. She is beautiful, honest, loyal, the whole nine yards. She gives him money, lets him go out with his friends and she just stays at home waiting.

The other day he asked if I could pick him up for work cause his girl needed his car to run some errands. I said "Sure, give me your number and I'll call when I'm on my way to get you. You better be ready cause I won't wait. " He said he broke his phone but I could call his girl's phone, she wouldn't care. As I was putting the number in my phone, it popped up as one of my regulars. One that I had just been with a few nights before. The perfect girl, right!? Of course, I didn't tell him anything.

I remembered talking to her that night and she was telling me a whole different story about him. How "tiny" was just another means of funds. He basically hands her his paycheck every payday. She tells him she is going out with "friends" when she gets a call and he waits on her. She even said sometimes she does BBBJCIM for her last "friend" of the night and goes straight home and gives him a big long kiss. She only keeps him around cause he has a job and it keep her PO off her ass.

Next time I see her, I might just tell her I work with him to see what she does. It would be great to know that she went home and gave him a big ol' kiss with "me" on her lips.

I can see how annoying that kid would be and I understand your thoughts of him getting what he deserves. Been there. But it's funny how when you are not involved you sometimes see things differently. I feel sorry for him as he obviously has a lot of self-esteem and other issues and doesn't know how to handle it. Having been used and abused by a woman in a similar nature -- and NOT deserving it like perhaps this kid does -- my disdain is focused on that ***** (is fucking **** too harsh?) He may be a prick in the workplace but sounds like she is taking him to the cleaners for no good reason but greed and low character.

I would like to propose something to TNWodman. This won't be easy and maybe not entirely realistic or practical but here goes. I say the one you should tell is the kid. You want to humble him and shut him up, and at the same time stop that ***** from ripping him off and using him (I. E. , do the right thing) you could use the opportunity to call him aside and tell him you know the truth and it is safe with you as long as he changes his behavior. You might be surprised that there is some good in him but he doesn't know how to get it out. He isn't going to say anything about you because you really have a lot more on him when you think about it. Okay, so if you don't want him to know, and can't think of a way of telling him that a "friend" told you all about her, then at least leave the guy an anonymous note whereas you still get the opportunity to tell him to shut the fuck up or you will spill the beans. I would like to say us guys should stick together but I know that is kind of corny and this situation goes beyond that.

Sorry for the humor buzzkill. I really do have a healthy sense of humor, I just see a person who is in trouble and needs some guidance to turn his life around before he really fucks it up. Please don't take anything I say personally, I'm not judging you I just think there is a greater good to be looked at here. Doesn't sound to me like the kid did anything to deserve that kind of treatment from that *****.

That's my two cents worth. I posted it here rather than PM TNWodman so others can state their opinion on the matter and comment on my take on it.

[TNWodman]

I found this a bit funny and had to share.

There is this loud mouth kid at work who brags about being a "ladies man". He says he can walk into any place and pick up any lady he wants. And after one night with him, no woman would ever want another man cause he was so, so big. Everybody at work really can't stand him and all his stories.

His attitude has been a bit different the past couple of week though. He says he met his "perfect" woman. She is beautiful, honest, loyal, the whole nine yards. She gives him money, lets him go out with his friends and she just stays at home waiting.

The other day he asked if I could pick him up for work cause his girl needed his car to run some errands. I said "Sure, give me your number and I'll call when I'm on my way to get you. You better be ready cause I won't wait. " He said he broke his phone but I could call his girl's phone, she wouldn't care. As I was putting the number in my phone, it popped up as one of my regulars. One that I had just been with a few nights before. The perfect girl, right!? Of course, I didn't tell him anything.

I remembered talking to her that night and she was telling me a whole different story about him. How "tiny" was just another means of funds. He basically hands her his paycheck every payday. She tells him she is going out with "friends" when she gets a call and he waits on her. She even said sometimes she does BBBJCIM for her last "friend" of the night and goes straight home and gives him a big long kiss. She only keeps him around cause he has a job and it keep her PO off her ass.

Next time I see her, I might just tell her I work with him to see what she does. It would be great to know that she went home and gave him a big ol' kiss with "me" on her lips.