Ursula The Sea Witch

**BigGuyUAteMe** · 06-04-16 11:43

Hey Girl, I do hope you stay on this path, I'm happy and proud for you. No one knows what an addict goes through except them , I'm very happy with most of the paths I've chose, that's one to stay as far as you can. I've seen it from a distance and it scares me for what it will do to people, it has an ugly face and it will destroy you. It changes people even if they are good people. The only way they escape is death, locked up, or one day at a time, and it doesn't work unless they truly want it. This shit is destroying the US!

BG,

Play safe, have fun, give and get respect, do your research, find some crazy good and TPHFB!

Originally Posted by NotKnown [View Original Post]

As I look back on all of this, it saddens me. Truth is, this is just the reality and life of an addict. I am beyond grateful to have turned my life around and not wound up just another statistic. It has been one hell of a bumpy ride but I am making it each day and continue to better myself. I remember once, Jim told me even if it killed him he would never give up and would do whatever it took to save my life and he did exactly that. I didn't deserve what he did for me or the love he gave me. I let him down over and over and did everything I knew he didn't want for me. No matter how much he wanted it for me, I had to want it for myself. I wish it didn't have to turn out this way but I can't change it. I can only move forward and walk this path. I would like to apologize to anyone that I have hurt, manipulated, lied to, etc. I was in a dark place in my life. Addiction destroys so much along the way. It's truly a sad thing to go through.

XoStarBaby.

NotKnown · 06-03-16 20:25

As I look back on all of this, it saddens me. Truth is, this is just the reality and life of an addict. I am beyond grateful to have turned my life around and not wound up just another statistic. It has been one hell of a bumpy ride but I am making it each day and continue to better myself. I remember once, Jim told me even if it killed him he would never give up and would do whatever it took to save my life and he did exactly that. I didn't deserve what he did for me or the love he gave me. I let him down over and over and did everything I knew he didn't want for me. No matter how much he wanted it for me, I had to want it for myself. I wish it didn't have to turn out this way but I can't change it. I can only move forward and walk this path. I would like to apologize to anyone that I have hurt, manipulated, lied to, etc. I was in a dark place in my life. Addiction destroys so much along the way. It's truly a sad thing to go through.

XoStarBaby.

**Mr Crazy** · 04-04-16 18:29

Thank you for posting such a touching story, FF. I knew you had a big heart from previous research on the board. I had no idea how big. How you were able to turn such chaos into a cohesive, well-formed story I'll never understand. Thank you.

**First Half** · 03-30-16 21:26

Originally Posted by FreckleFreak [View Original Post]

Ursula already committed much of the above on family and friends. She stole, broke in, committed robbery, set up violent acts on other people. She hasn't committed armed robbery as of yet, at least that we know of. Has one of her ex-BF's committed armed robbery? We really don't know do we? She is a sociopath who is currently living on a mattress in a flop house, most likely turning tricks to get her daily fix and will do anything to continue on with her current life style. Heroin is her sex, is her life, is her existence and nothing next to being arrested and put in jail will stop her from doing whatever is needed to get her next fix.

Just read this thread today. Thanks for sharing. You guys might want to read this book sometime. Posits that around 4% of the population are conscience free sociopaths. They're all around us. .

http://www.amazon.com/Sociopath-Next.../dp/0767915828

The Sociopath Next Door

**BigGuyUAteMe** · 03-30-16 13:47

Didn't know Jim, he sure did seem to love you. We only get moment to moment! Try to keep your promises and go back to the person you were or are. I wish you the best, you were special!

BG,

Originally Posted by NotKnown [View Original Post]

He did. We had our ups and downs but we had something special between us. We both felt lucky to have each other.

**Harley08** · 03-28-16 16:23

Originally Posted by NotKnown [View Original Post]

He did. We had our ups and downs but we had something special between us. We both felt lucky to have each other.

I know that Jim and I had our disagreements about you but sorry that you lost him.

NotKnown · 03-15-16 14:17

Originally Posted by Billyboy0007 [View Original Post]

Jim was a lucky guy. I bet he died a happy man. RIP.

He did. We had our ups and downs but we had something special between us. We both felt lucky to have each other.

**KaintuckMan** · 03-15-16 07:28

Originally Posted by BigGuyUAteMe [View Original Post]

It's happened to us all, but not many to this extent.

I call it Pussy Stupid! You can love someone or something (pussy) so much that you will do things that you wouldn't normally do, or would do differently.

RIP, Jim.

BG.

I was pussy stupid in my early twentys. I married a 10 in every way. It didn't last long and I learned a valuable lesson. No drugs were involved in our relationship though. She was just a nympo. Time has not been kind to her in looks now. The sun tanned skin of her youth has turned into leather the last time I saw her. I hope star does stay clean and has a fulfilling life.

**Billyboy0007** · 03-15-16 01:56

Originally Posted by NotKnown [View Original Post]

Thanks to everyone who has reached out to me, your kind words are greatly appreciated. I will have 60 days clean on my birthday this month. No better birthday present then that. I never thought I would make it this far but I have surprised him and I. I will not give up. Sobriety is such a wonderful feeling.

Jim was a lucky guy. I bet he died a happy man. RIP.

NotKnown · 03-15-16 01:34

Thanks to everyone who has reached out to me, your kind words are greatly appreciated. I will have 60 days clean on my birthday this month. No better birthday present then that. I never thought I would make it this far but I have surprised him and I. I will not give up. Sobriety is such a wonderful feeling.

**Dtripod69** · 03-14-16 21:04

I have seen Star before she retired to be with Jim and she seemed sweet then and for what it's worth I believe this is likely her post.

I have a "friend" that has waked a similar path as star. It really is like Jekyll and Hyde. Two completely different people when they are actively using and when they are not currently using. All I can say is I hope Star can use this as a learning experience and see how destructive using her drug of choice can be. I hope this was a wake up call for her and she travels down a path that would make Jim proud.

I hope Jim can RIP.

Originally Posted by NotKnown [View Original Post]

I made a promise to Jim 47 days ago when I first came home and started my journey to a new and healthy life. I promised I would make him proud. He got the chance to see me and know without a doubt that I was doing wonderful and was walking a fine line. He couldn't have been more proud of me so although I feel an overwhelming amount of emptiness in my heart, I am happy I had the chance to show him that. We were going to counseling on top of all the treatment and programs I was attending and things were better then ever. He was struggling with the pain I had caused him by the mistakes I had made and he hated me here and there but we were making such great progress. He was in love with me and wanted to spend his life with me as I felt the same way. Jim was my first true love and he had found true love at 51 with me. I cannot even express the guilt I feel. I hate myself 97% of the time for the things I have done to him. He gave me the world, supported me from beginning to end, loved me unconditionally and treated me like a queen. We mentally physically and emotionally abused one another but at the end of the day, we loved each other. He didn't deserve anything I put him through. All he ever wanted was to save my life and to see me be the woman he always knew I was. Yes, I got to show him that before he passed away but I wanted to show him I could do it and never give up. I will continue to make him proud. I know he is with me each day and I have felt his presence twice since he left me. Not a day will go by that he won't be on my mind, I'll think about him 90% of the day, everyday I'm sure. I miss him so very much. He was my soulmate. I am so very thankful for him and everything he ever did for me. He never had to do anything for me, but he wanted to and he did everything he possibly could. He gave me anything I ever wanted and did everything he could to help me and to get me clean and living a healthy life. Everyday that I wake up, I will tell him I love him and will continue making him proud.

- StarBaby.

Baby, I believe your reading this so I want you to know that I love you and I miss you so very much. When you left me, you took my heart with you. I feel empty inside. I miss waking up to your handsome face and smiling with you. You were my bestfriend and I was beyond blessed to be your babygirl. I'll always make you proud and will never give up. I am grateful to have had the 2 years with you that I did. Thank you for everything you did for me. I didn't deserve it half of the time. I love you sweetie, with all of my heart.

Love always,

Your babygirl.

**BigGuyUAteMe** · 03-14-16 15:24

Originally Posted by KaintuckMan [View Original Post]

Prayers for Jim. I'm sure the stress with Star caused his death in some degree. Death Certificate should read. Died by Pussy overdose. So sad!

It's happened to us all, but not many to this extent.

I call it Pussy Stupid! You can love someone or something (pussy) so much that you will do things that you wouldn't normally do, or would do differently.

RIP, Jim.

BG.

**BigGuyUAteMe** · 03-14-16 15:15

Originally Posted by Rlthree [View Original Post]

Who really wrote this. Sounds like BS to me. Of course, this is my opinion, so remember that when you reply.

Who could say for sure? It looks like Jim did die of a heart attack, and that's a shame. I hope Star is trying to get her shit together, she could be a great person. I don't like to see people throwing their lives away. This drug problem isn't just in the hobby, it's all over. The opium business is Afghanistan's big business and they can flood this country with it.

BG.

NotKnown · 03-14-16 14:34

Why you may feel that way about it being me or not. You are allowed to believe as you wish. I know it's me, that's all that matters. I unfortunately was the one who watched him fall in the floor and gave him CPR until EMTs arrived so, I am not only having a hard time with him just being gone but also with watching him die and not being successful in saving his life. He was the love of my life, the only one I had ever had. We meant everything to each other. So, my post came straight from my heart and I wrote exactly how I felt. I understand why you may believe that though and you are entitled to your own opinion. Hope you have a great day. I am doing all I can to just keep strong.

Star.

**Freckle Freak** · 03-14-16 13:21

Originally Posted by Rlthree [View Original Post]

Who really wrote this. Sounds like BS to me. Of course, this is my opinion, so remember that when you reply.

Your opinion matters and I'm sure skepticism runs rampant especially concerning this story. I do NOT know for a fact that it was actually written and posted by Star because I was not there when she did it. That is the only way I would truly know it came from her. However I was informed by someone on the phone who sounded like her, someone I believe to be her, that she did make this post. That is about as factual as I can get. You see based on all that has happened, truth is very hard to distinguish. It's know wonder that many may not believe the post. Has anyone ever heard of the story about the boy who cried Wolf? Of course you have.