2000-2004 Archived Reports

[Tiantain]

Does anyone know of sites to pick up women in Shanghai, China other than AFF?

[Zidaho]

I accidently sent that last response. Not able to edit oh well.

Anyway, I think the key point with Match Yahoo and Kisscom is consistency over several months working the site, sending out emails, and developing a pipeline. An initial contact email on these sites that I have found successful is saying something like "Wow you are gorgeous, or gee you are PRETTY and I just hope we have the opportunity to meet". Women seem to respond to simple, matter of fact flattery, laced with an easy neutral or perhaps a somewhat cavalier suggestion of meeting sooner rather than later. So I try to keep it short and sweet, consistently a little flattering beyond that, words in matters of romance/friendship generally meaningless until you actually meet each other. And I put my phone numbers and addresses to her directly when I recieve a response, I think it also makes her feel more secure, it's like one shoe dropping. Generally though before meeting the less I can say (without being creepy) the better, lot of women nervously overtalk creating way too many unrealistic expectations about who I am before even meeting. And that should raise at least a patient yellow flag, note; some rationalize a man will fall in love with her personality/heart thus overlooking the deceptive profile (old picture or average body) with the reality (way older looking, and way overweight). Of course guys often do the same thing. So if meeting is the objective post a little less than flattering picture it will be a delightful surprise when you have the opportunity to touch her. Obviously more prevalent in the 35-50 age group. So I try to stay focused with the primary objective of meeting face to face. I have met some really fine women through these sites, and generally they have been suprisingly the horniest women I have ever known. I still think about a few of them when I consider going into a committed relationship, which in the long term is what most of them expect, naturally. It is a trick keeping ones integrity, while seeing and meeting so many women in the on-line dating venue. I justify it with a fact that women can go out, select and get laid about anytime with-out offering much more than her body, or a simple nod, I on the other hand need a large inventory as my need is more present and my selections not available to me at any given time. So right now I have about eight to ten women in various stages of intimacy. It's fun, sometimes aggravating but also gratifying, particularly when I have a woman contacting me wanting to see me in bed, or a confident husband who sends an email because he likes to see his horny wife's legs dangling over my shoulders. Mongering and dating both have their advantages and pitfalls.

I have been a paying member on AFF for about 4 years now. As a single guy I have met maybe half a dozen single women in that time, but then, only when I was sending out massive numbers of emails. Only a few that were really great in bed. It is mostly a scam (as J Burb and others aptly described) getting single guys to gin-up with a membership to contact those sex kittens glorified on the site. It's hype. I used to send out about 30 emails a week, I attacked AFF and others sites with a mass mailing, similar to long term direct mail marketing program. So many fakes on the AFF site. And frankly with all the sites it is hard, hard, hard to hit the timing just right even with the weeklky/monthly mailing scheme I implemented, to hook up with that hot couple, or, genuine single girl looking for some discreete fun. I have only landed a 2-3 really pretty single women from AFF and then it took months of time and weeks to solidify her trust. As a single man I have far greater success with couples on AFF and SLS. In fact that is the category to whom I focus all my energy now. BTW a far better site is swinglifestyle.com less scam fakes. Though it takes tact I have discovered it is far easier to hook up with married women, profiled with a husband on SLS and to a lesser extent AFF. Surprisingly I have had several girlfriends from Match or Kiss who profiled with me as a couple on AFF and SLS. Definitely more meetings with that combination, "meeting" being the key word there because it is MUCH harder for four people to agree and feel comfortable together when meeting like that from a dating site. Something about the dynamic of a fourth person or two couples makes it exponentially more complex. So even though it is more difficult to get meetings with a couple as a single male, I definitely have more success from that point forward in getting her in bed. Also, it took me a while to realize one of the partners is generally the decision maker it is good to determine who that is from the outset and be aware of it during the encounter.

Last thought, and I realize this is a long email and probably burning alot of you out. But, when I first started on the standard sites about 4-5 years ago, I put some really brazen profiles out there making it VERY clear what I was looking for in a woman ie no sexual hang-ups etc, etc. THen I sent that profile out to everyone, definitely burnt some bridges with some of the women I wanted to meet but I sent it to everyone even the ones without a photo. Looking back now I think that approach was just as effective as being the nice safe guy, my rate and time landing some real foxy women was really good. The profiles without pictures are typically women who want annoymity, so remember that as well as their age group when targeting them with your emails. Of course the profile was not grossly or scary candid just kind of onery and witty candid. I was very surprised by the quality of some of the women who responded, women who found that approach refreshingly intriguing, bold and a suprising number who went to a hotel just an hour or so after meeting. So . . . there are some suprisingly beautiful women out there on these safe sites looking for no strings attached sex. Hummm, maybe I should try that again! Also forget about feeling sorry for yourself about having to send out all the emails and never having a woman contact you first. I used to compalin about that and still do toungue in cheek but a woman changed my perspective when she mentioned that it's no picnic having to sit there and read 30 profiles every week and trying to weed out the ones that are a waste of time. Wish I had a twin brother so I could play both ends of this game. Ha, ha.

Thanks to you mongers who have been posting on these threads, I have gained much from your insights. You are the primary reason I feel compelled to give something back to this board. I hope it helps someone.

With the Match and etc sites I used a couple of sets, that is a series of written emails that I had developed, my personal boiler plate and send out with the attitude that they were all in various stages of being laid. I even went to the anal extent of having in depth files on my conversations, notes, BD, names of kids, work, etc on 10-20 of the women, and couples I was working on at any given month. At one point I would demand with the ladies that were ready to get naughty that they would have to send me their panties before we could meet so I could scent them prior to meeting and sucking there tounges between my lips. Ha, ha. I have about 30 pairs of panties labeled and archived in my office storage. I think women are extremely suseptible to cyber romance once you can get around some of their security issues. As an example a few years ago I had numerous women over the space of several months who would walk into my office without ever a prior face to face meeting and within a few seconds have them bent over a chair or on their knees sucking my cock. I had one match girl go to an apartment in a short revealing dress, to meet me, her to lay her panties on the coffee table her back to the door, standing looking out a window while I entered walked up behind, bound her hands with a silk scarf, bent her over and took her right there. We had a great fantasy fullfilled relationship for about a year, she's married now but we stillhave coffee and laugh about it. Ha, ha.

[Zidaho]

Hey Mongers,

I have used the dating sites with varying degrees of success the past several years. Here are some of my observations:

Match.com: conservative but authentic profiles. Have had annual membership on this site the past three years. Like all dating sites it's a numbers game. I go through cycles generally sending out 30 emails over a few days, every other month or so to replenish my pipeline, and generally get 15 responses, 10 of those will meet me within the next two weeks, of those 3-4 will back out the last minute. Out of those six or seven I select 3-4 that I will earnestly pursue a few days before we meet, cell phone numbers make them feel safe talking. Typically meet for coffee or lunch or if she is hot I take her to dinner, out of those four that I meet o(usually weekend) because I generally drive to a bigger city to meet them I find 1 or 2 that want to move forward quickly and are attractive as advertised, the others want to take it slow, which is OK if I find them attractive.

[Skelelton Sled]

Hello,Hi all,

They work But they work for what you pay for!

Great expections you have to fork over alot of $$$ and thats not even a sure fire way to meet someone! My .02 cents-is all dating services. Use fake pics to bulk up the male membership ratio! Really how many Girls/ladies will use a dating service in usa? Not many Not many at all There chaaa ching cash cows these services and they know that have us men by the cajonies. The ladies/girls may be real what comes with that package is why they joined in the first place.

As for all the ones that were mentioned here they have there up's and downs
Most of them use the same concept-E harmony thats a lil wee bit tight for me
in what im looking for.That has a reglious backround to it!! Its been said(no lie)
Now my 0.02 cents for the day Is this,its quite simple_in order to make it as a Basketball,baseball,football,track star or anything in life is to stand head and toes above the avg Joe! Be better be greater Got to dominate in everything.Got to dominate! Dont be a pw mofo! this is for american woman

Not to be used across the oceans!!

[Drago]

ABOUT AFF:

I lost time and money with that, and from what I read in this page I am not alone!

But I have some good news too, I tried the Italian FF (I got a 3 month complimentary silver membership) and I already met two ladies, a 45 y.o. from Rome and a 38 y.o. from Parma (I'm from Milan) both very hot, I'm still seing the lady from Parma...

Last year I was on Asian FF, I paid for a silver membership as I was travelling to Shanghai for a couples of times... That was value for money guys... on my first trip I laid down two good looking non-pro's in less than one week and failed to meet a third one for lack of time!!!

In my approach I didn't have to lie, I said I was planning to travel often to Shanghai but not to move there. And that was enough to win their confidence. One was looking for something serious though so she set me off when she realized I wasn't in for long term. The second one was much cooler abut it (she was already dating another foreign guy) and we're still in touch, hope to travel to Shanghai soon!!!

So IMHO if you are lokking for single non pro's don't waste time on explicit adult oriented sites, you will find plenty of them on "normal" dating sites, it's just a matter of spending more time and effort...

But where on earth can you get it for free?

Good hunting

Drago

[Rock Dog]

J Burb

I agree totally with what you said about small amounts of money. Another thing to consider is that this may be her (his?) main focus.

Consider the huge difference in the standards of living in some of these countries. I've been to places where $200 a month is a big deal. At 20 working days a month, that would come out to about $10 for a whole days' work. If one of these online scammers can line up 9 or 10 guys to send them $20 every month, it's just as good as having a job.

I've talked to women online from Nigeria. They told me there are girls who do nothing but sit in the internet cafes all day long scamming for money.

One of the things that I always used to keep in mind was the time difference. If you see some woman who is still online chatting when it's 4 AM local time, you might want to be a little suspicious. I've been to Africa and I can tell you, the "good girls" aren't up at 4 in the morning.

FYI

Rock

[J Burb]

Remember, the requests for small amounts of money are just as important in the scam because they establish a solid payment method between you and the girl before she sets you up for the big hit.

J Burb

[Rock Dog]

J Burb,

I ran into the exact same thing several times. It was on a dating site that I'd joined. This was my first time for online dating but, luckily for me, I'm a fast learner.

Most of the girls I talked to were from overseas. The idea was that they would be more likely to have a better attitude than the women around here. The website even had a chat system so you could talk with other members who were online at the same time.

BAM! The very first girl I ever chatted with tried to hit me up for an airline ticket after just 4 minutes of conversation. Hah, she must have thought I was a sucker. Anyways, I started to see the pattern pretty quickly. Certain girls from certain countries were way more likely to try asking for money.

Some of these "girls" had pics that they lifted off of porn sites. Some were way too professional looking and were likely scanned from some fashion mags. That's one way of spotting the scammers.

I'd advise anyone to be suspicious of any requests for money. These are some of the most popular tactics: I just need a little for my cellphone so we can talk, I need some money for internet time so we can chat, I need some money for my university courses, It's my birthday next week and you should send me a present, my family/sister/mother is having a terrible time please help out, etc. etc.

The simplest policy is to tell them right off the bat that you never send money to someone that you only know from online. The casual scammers will give up on you right away because they'll figure you're not worth their time. Hardcore scammers are a little more tricky because they're willing to put in some more time to convince you that "they're not like that".

Most of these girls are lazy-ass scammers. Some of them are put up to it by their boyfriends, who are lazy-ass scammers. Some of these girls are actually guys (ran into that once or twice). Some of them are visa-hunters who won't ask for money, but will cost you time and effort to bring them over so they can run away as soon as they get here.

There are probably a few genuine ones who just need a little help, but I think these are few and far between.

I did end up sending money to a couple of online aquaintances. However, it was not until after I'd gone over and actually met them in person.

Rock

[The Master]

Hi,

I was also had this experience, once I received an Email doing exactly what you have said here, I know it is a kind of scan, so I waited, and wanted to see what is the next step.

then one day, she is asking me for the money so she can fly over to my country,

Guess what, I said to her, that if you want to fly over, you buy the ticket first using your money, then I will repay you twice the amount when I see you in my country.

Haha, then she just gone.

So take care.

[J Burb]

I just want to warn anyone seeking foriegn women of a scam I saw on TV once. The girl has an attractive picture and eventually wins you over through regular email corrispondence. Once she has your trust and it appears to be going somwhere she may give you some sob story and request small amounts of money from time to time which will seem like peanuts with the currency difference, so you agree. Eventually her goal is to get you to want to transport her here and at that point she will request a substancial chunk of money to tie up her loose ends and make it all happen.

Seems reasonable, afterall she will be your woman right? Wrong, you'v e just been emailing some foriegn dude who submitted a pic of his sister and strung you along for the past six months. Now the contact info they gave you no longer works and you have no recourse becuase they are in a foriegn country. So if any girl in a foriegn ad requests money at anytime, be very suspicious.

J Burb

[El Chapin]

Incaroca & everybody else:

I've registered to cybercupidos.com a couple of days ago, and yesterday my profile was finally activated. Since then i had quite a number of chicas mailing me, some from Germany (just as I am) and some from Latin America, mainly Perú. With one of the "German Latinas" I've even talked already, so I know it's not a fake. She's living some 100 km away from me, but depending on how things develop I guess I'll meet her quiet soon, as I will hopefully some other chicas that live a bit closer.

I will also try to build up some sort of "relationship" with a couple of the Peruanas, as a preparation for my trip there that I plan for this winter.

As of this moment, I'd say that things already look really promising, especially considering that it's all totally free.

I'll keep you updated should some more interesting things develop, until then thanks everybody, especially for pointing this site out in the first place (I learned about it in one of the SA-forums I think).

[incaroca]

WWW.CYBERCUPIDO.COM


I recommend this site. Its an incredible free dating site with thousands of profiles. Its specialized with latin chicas, specially from Colombia, Peru, Cuba, Spain and Venezuela. There are girls af any age but there are a high quantity of young chicas profiles (from 15 to 30 yo), maybe cos there are more facilities to find a westerner boyfrind, and cos in this countries birth taxes are more elevate that firt world countries, so the variety is ashtonishing.
Its free, but only you have the right to see almost 30 profiles per day, and write 2 diary messages. If you want to write to more girls you have to inscribe it. But I think that 2 beauties per day its enough isnt it??
Some girls post it her photes, but the majority only write her profile.
Is better that you can speak and write in spanish, but maybe you can find some chicas that can speak it in english, specially young university chicas.
Its highly recommendable For people who are looking for a girlfriend, cos all the chicas (specially from Latin America) dont waste the opportunity to write to a westerner or and american. So maybe youll find the girl of your life. Latin chica its totally diferent of first world countries girls. They are sweet, very femenine, polite, and they fight hard four your man (the contrary that in Western Countries), specially if its a stranger. And of course, in sex you will be in other dimension!!
But also there are most girls that only want a short relation, or even are non pros (like I find in Peru). With some presents and sweet words you can conquer them. Its very easy to win the way to her pussy with a dress, flowers or a good restaurant, specially with more hot (in all the senses), like cuba or colombia. Young chicas are the most enthusiastic for a short experiencie, I say by experience.

Good luck!!

[Rock Dog]

Greetings all,

I just noticed this section and decided to take a look to see what's going on. It was surprising to see a section on dating sites here at WSG. Well, time to share my own experiences.

Most dating sites seem to be membership oriented. I have joined a couple just out of interest. It seems like most of them end up being the same old thing after a while. The reason for this is because you tend to find the same three types of women on these sites.

The largest group is comprised of women who are really, really selective about what kind of guy is acceptable to them. Of course "selective" is female code language for being really picky. You can spot them easily by different things that they look for in a man. Serious, yet romantic. Exciting but stable. Young but experienced. Has a sense of humor but doesn't joke around too much. No man could ever achieve the impossible balancing act required to make one of these women happy and that's why you find so many of them on these sites.

Another group is made up of women with baggage. Laden with past heartbreaks, disappointments, cheating and divorces, these women are hoping to find their dream on the internet. The big problem with these ones is that they are highly untrusting because of their past experiences. Many of them never let their guard down because they're afraid of getting burned again. Personally, I don't feel like hanging around month after month trying to make up for the last guy' mistakes and neither should you. These women can be spotted right off the bat by such opening lines as; tired of the games, or players need not apply.

The last group is made up of women who are not attractive. They look in the mirror and they may see an attractive woman, but nobody else does. Reality does not match with their perceived self-image. So, they try dating sites in the hopes that there must be one guy out of the thousands who really will think they are good looking. These are the easiest to spot. Just look carefully at their pic. Check closely to see if it looks really out of date, or only shows her face. Key phrases here are "a few extra pounds", rubenesque, or (my fave) "BBW".

If you REALLY want a good looking women with no issues and who has reasonable expectations, you'll do a lot better with the international dating sites. Chat with some of the women, then go for a trip and visit them in their own country. She'll treat you like a king and go around showing you off to her friends. Believe me, it's a lot more fun and it's really worth it.

My 2 cents worth on this subject,

Rock

[J Burb]

As for Eharmony and some of the other more serious dating sites such as Match.com I'd agree that most of its women are playing for keeps. Some telling signs: You will see a greater amount of 30 somethings than anything (tick,tick,tick). Also take note of thier multiple choice answers to the "want kids" question. 99% of them select "definately". Further reinforcement: Thier answer to any income requirement of thier potential mate often far exceeds thier own saleries. (Sombody has to finance those future kids). Match however sometimes sponsers local events that I've heard people report doing quite well at. Everyone gets nametags and thier name gets put on a list in a central location. You then periodically go check the list during the event to see who signed up to talk to you and go connect. No ads to browse, just primal attraction which is a better casual hook up formula.

As for other pay sites, althogh not as popular as Match, I like the payment structure of Lavalife.com. Free to join & advertise but you prepay for however many credits you'd like to answer ads with. No bullshit time expiration or monthly fees. Also, they have 3 seperate categories of ads: Relationships; Dating; and INTIMATE ENCOUNTERS.

I dont partake in chat rooms for lack of time and priority, but have seen others who are consistantly dedicated hook up multple times. It seems sometimes lesser known local sorces can yeild better results than the big ones.

Watch out for this scam on any site: Someone will answer your ad and after you respond to them with your email contact info you will get a follow up email saying you need to access them through another dating site. Hopefully they dont get your phone number too because its all bogus and just one struggling agencys way of recruiting customers from another.

J Burb

[My Alias]

I've created profiles on several several singles sites, but have tried to avoid getting paid memberships because they're not worth it for me. I live in a small town in a fairly remote area, so I can sometimes figure out who from my area has posted profiles by their photos and information. In most cases, the free memberships are pretty worthless.

If all you can do is the free membership, avoid these sites -- FriendSearch.com, AFF, Babyboomersmeet.com, Professionalsmeet.com, IWantU.com, AmericanSingles.com, UDate.com, Kiss.com, Eroticy.com (after the initial three-day trial) and AmateurMatch.com. Some of those sites will let a female member send you an e-mail and will let you know it arrived, but it won't let you access the message. A few of these sites won't let you view pictures, and some sites won't even let you know which member sent you a message. A note on the Eroticy.com site, the initial three-day trial does allow e-mail access, but at the end of the trial it stops and all you can do is view the profile of someone who sent you a message.

Some sites will let you respond to e-mail messages sent by other members, but won't let you initiate contact if all you have is a free membership. Sites in this category include Match.com, Tickle.com, Date.com, SexyAds.net, Yahoo Personals and DreamMates.com. A few of these sites will let you send a wink or a tease, but not an actual e-mail message. I have not tried the EHarmony.com site, but I've heard it falls into this category.

The only free sites I've seen that allow full e-mail access are BookOfMatches.com and PlentyOfFish.com. The BookOfMatches.com site is pretty straight and doesn't allow any untoward language or sexual content. It even has an automatic editor to its e-mail program and I've had comments such as "nice pussy cat" edited to "nice p***y cat" and the name Alfred Hitchcock edited to Alfred Hitchc***. The PlentyOfFish.com site is a lot looser and seems to be more of a hook-up site. There's even a category for people seeking "Intimate Encounters" and some profiles have nudity in the photos. There isn't a Craigslist.com site for my state, though I've looked at a couple of the Craigslist.com sites for other cities. I've never used Loveaccess.com.