Dirtona Pugilistic Society and Coffee Bar

[BeachRunner51]

I don't often post about providers who waste my time, though I totally understand the impulse to do so. A chippy jerks a lad around, he gets sore, and posts about it out of spite. Anyway, every year or so a provider's performance earns her such a post from me. Last year's model was Deltona Starr. This year we have the wee lass Stormy.

It began about six months ago with a flurry of posts extolling her virtues, which were no doubt accurate at the time (in fairness, Jimmer brought her to our attention back in January). Of course, when a provider rises to the rank of usasg flavor of the month, she becomes extraordinarily difficult to see. I waited a bit, therefore, then reached out to wee Stormy. A few back-and-forths followed, accentuated by extremely slow response times on her part. Finally, many weeks later, we set a playdate.

"Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain." ― Sherrilyn Kenyon

I had prepared for the date and driven half way to her flat when she texted to cancel. She was contrite enough, claiming to be a professional who almost never needs to cancel a date and offering a 25 rose discount on our next visit. I was aggravated of course, though simultaneously impressed that she didn't just straight up ghost me. I honestly don't think this was out of any real professionalism on her part. I think she just couldn't have me sitting in her driveway, truth be told. She claimed the following day would work well for a redo, then went completely unresponsive of course.

Fast forward six months to my most recent unsuccessful effort to play with Stormy. I was a bit apprehensive reaching out, given recent negative reviews by HeWolf47, ColdOne69, and Mk4545 (especially the report of odor, my biggest turnoff), but I am a sucker for a spinner bod and chose to take my chances.

"There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm." ―Willa Cather

So I do reach out, asking the lass for a same-day meet up, and surprisingly receive a same-day response. The trouble starts when I ask about her donations. She immediately admonishes me for not knowing her rates, because she had already told me months earlier. Yeah, what was I thinking. I pretend to laugh this off, not wanting the implosion I see coming. Next, I ask if I could see her around six, to which she responds that she could meet up at six thirty. I said sure, though six thirty would be the latest I could meet (who here has had a playdate actually begin at the appointed time. Ever.) due to an evening engagement. Stormy immediately gets mad and admonishes me for... honestly I have no idea what.

This is a really bad sign. She has been triggered twice by two completely innocent and mundane texts. What will our date be like, I wondered? I wasn't willing to find out. I reply that something is clearly bothering her and that I am looking for a relaxing experience, so I will hit her up another time. I am pretty sure what her response will be, and I am disappointed to be right. Her next text simply says "blocked." So much for professionalism, LOL. I roll my eyes and move on, setting up a 180 rose dalliance with Raelynn (who's communication is infinitely more appealing). Raelynn also receives the amazon gift card I had picked up for Stormy while we were texting.

"In times of storm and tempest, of indecision and desolation, a book already known and loved makes better reading than something new and untried ..." ―Elizabeth Goudge

Later that night I used a different texting app to message Stormy, politely and respectfully suggesting that, for the sake of her business and to obviate bad reviews, she converse with mongers a bit more professionally in the future. At this point providers respond in one of two ways. They either apologize for their behavior, explaining how some life stressor had temporarily gotten the better of them, or they throw a tantrum and try everything in their power to hit back at whatever perceived slight they have just endured. Well, you know which road Stormy took, else you'd be reading a more traditional report right now.

"You will hear thunder and remember me, and think: she wanted storms ..." ―Anna Akhmatova

The response that followed was the most vitriolic string of messages I've ever received. Any nastiness she could summon was represented in those texts. She also stated that she didn't give a shit about her reviews and challenged me to write one. Mmmm, okay.

She also demanded I include the following passage: "you've been texting me since June! Haven't seen me ONCE! Wasting my damn time!" Mmmm, okay. Well, two truths out of three isn't bad. What she failed to recall was how our communication had gone over the past six months. Here is a typical sample:

Me: Hey there Stormy love. Are you interested in meeting up this evening?

Her (two weeks later): I can see you today babe.

Yep, I'm wasting the shit out of her time all right, LOL.

"And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people." ―Caitlyn Siehl

Now, I know what you're thinking lads. Aren't I just another butt sore monger trying to get even on a nasty provider? This question is more than fair, yet consider that I'm writing this post a week and a half after the fact, allowing for an honest and dispassionate accounting of those events. It is a bit irritating that I am burning even more time on Stormy writing this post, but it's a PSA for you lads and not about me.

"But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you wont be the same person who walked in. Thats what this storms all about." ―Haruki Murakami

So there you have it lads, another data point for your go, no-go calculations.

Cheers!

Sad to hear but not surprised. I was one of the first few people to write a review of this beautiful spinner and probably helped her become the popular flavor of the month. My first visit, which I wrote a review of, was out of this world and I quickly set up my second visit which went very well also. Some time had past before my third visit (had to take care of my regulars) and that is when I got to see first hand her condescending attitude over me knocking on her door at the agreed upon time. Needless to say I wasn't feeling appreciated for my generous donations and decided that it was going to be my last visit. I thought it would be difficult to stay away because her body type is my weakness but with the recent info from my well respected senior friends I find it very easy to use my time and donations elsewhere. I have fond memories of this storm and glad that I got to be in the eye of it but then again I didn't suffer any real damage from it either. I think I will see if this Raelynn would be interested in some of my FEMA $$.

[Joshua Falken]

I don't often post about providers who waste my time, though I totally understand the impulse to do so. A chippy jerks a lad around, he gets sore, and posts about it out of spite. Anyway, every year or so a provider's performance earns her such a post from me. Last year's model was Deltona Starr. This year we have the wee lass Stormy.

It began about six months ago with a flurry of posts extolling her virtues, which were no doubt accurate at the time (in fairness, Jimmer brought her to our attention back in January). Of course, when a provider rises to the rank of usasg flavor of the month, she becomes extraordinarily difficult to see. I waited a bit, therefore, then reached out to wee Stormy. A few back-and-forths followed, accentuated by extremely slow response times on her part. Finally, many weeks later, we set a playdate.

"Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain." ― Sherrilyn Kenyon

I had prepared for the date and driven half way to her flat when she texted to cancel. She was contrite enough, claiming to be a professional who almost never needs to cancel a date and offering a 25 rose discount on our next visit. I was aggravated of course, though simultaneously impressed that she didn't just straight up ghost me. I honestly don't think this was out of any real professionalism on her part. I think she just couldn't have me sitting in her driveway, truth be told. She claimed the following day would work well for a redo, then went completely unresponsive of course.

Fast forward six months to my most recent unsuccessful effort to play with Stormy. I was a bit apprehensive reaching out, given recent negative reviews by HeWolf47, ColdOne69, and Mk4545 (especially the report of odor, my biggest turnoff), but I am a sucker for a spinner bod and chose to take my chances.

"There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm." ―Willa Cather

So I do reach out, asking the lass for a same-day meet up, and surprisingly receive a same-day response. The trouble starts when I ask about her donations. She immediately admonishes me for not knowing her rates, because she had already told me months earlier. Yeah, what was I thinking. I pretend to laugh this off, not wanting the implosion I see coming. Next, I ask if I could see her around six, to which she responds that she could meet up at six thirty. I said sure, though six thirty would be the latest I could meet (who here has had a playdate actually begin at the appointed time. Ever.) due to an evening engagement. Stormy immediately gets mad and admonishes me for... honestly I have no idea what.

This is a really bad sign. She has been triggered twice by two completely innocent and mundane texts. What will our date be like, I wondered? I wasn't willing to find out. I reply that something is clearly bothering her and that I am looking for a relaxing experience, so I will hit her up another time. I am pretty sure what her response will be, and I am disappointed to be right. Her next text simply says "blocked." So much for professionalism, LOL. I roll my eyes and move on, setting up a 180 rose dalliance with Raelynn (who's communication is infinitely more appealing). Raelynn also receives the amazon gift card I had picked up for Stormy while we were texting.

"In times of storm and tempest, of indecision and desolation, a book already known and loved makes better reading than something new and untried ..." ―Elizabeth Goudge

Later that night I used a different texting app to message Stormy, politely and respectfully suggesting that, for the sake of her business and to obviate bad reviews, she converse with mongers a bit more professionally in the future. At this point providers respond in one of two ways. They either apologize for their behavior, explaining how some life stressor had temporarily gotten the better of them, or they throw a tantrum and try everything in their power to hit back at whatever perceived slight they have just endured. Well, you know which road Stormy took, else you'd be reading a more traditional report right now.

"You will hear thunder and remember me, and think: she wanted storms ..." ―Anna Akhmatova

The response that followed was the most vitriolic string of messages I've ever received. Any nastiness she could summon was represented in those texts. She also stated that she didn't give a shit about her reviews and challenged me to write one. Mmmm, okay.

She also demanded I include the following passage: "you've been texting me since June! Haven't seen me ONCE! Wasting my damn time!" Mmmm, okay. Well, two truths out of three isn't bad. What she failed to recall was how our communication had gone over the past six months. Here is a typical sample:

Me: Hey there Stormy love. Are you interested in meeting up this evening?

Her (two weeks later): I can see you today babe.

Yep, I'm wasting the shit out of her time all right, LOL.

"And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people." ―Caitlyn Siehl

Now, I know what you're thinking lads. Aren't I just another butt sore monger trying to get even on a nasty provider? This question is more than fair, yet consider that I'm writing this post a week and a half after the fact, allowing for an honest and dispassionate accounting of those events. It is a bit irritating that I am burning even more time on Stormy writing this post, but it's a PSA for you lads and not about me.

"But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you wont be the same person who walked in. Thats what this storms all about." ―Haruki Murakami

So there you have it lads, another data point for your go, no-go calculations.

Cheers!

[Mosin Nagant]

Hey, thanks Mosin for sharing with Brevard and Orlando. You may need to point them to Dirtona though, as I've foolishly neglected to post them to our UTR board, LOL.

Yeah, great call on the social media. I've noticed these lasses tend to befriend each other as you've said. Can you recommend next steps? Once you've identified a potential UTR from a providers network, do you just message them with the indecent proposal? Try to befriend them first? I'm interested to know what's worked, or what you think would work.

Cheers mate!

1. Usually you can become FB friends with the real pros using your USASG handle.

2. Find their IRL friends who look curious or in the biz. Some you will recognize from their govt sponsored glamour shots!

3. Start commenting on the pages of the possible gals. A like here, a heart emoji there. Etc.

4. Mention how you know their friend Jane (or whatever) and gauge the response. Sometimes follow up with something along the lines of mutual respect or difficult economy.

Then just do the usual thing you do with horny MILFs at your local bar!

[James185]

Any body been to Costa Rica? Thinking about moving there.

T-Man.

Yes have been was great. Roads and traffic suck though. Just rent I would not buy anything even though prices are not bad. Just to hard to sell. If your older I would worry little on health care. But your only. 2 hr back to USA so not bad. Lots of ladies. Good luck.

[Joshua Falken]

These were two great posts! If you don't mind, I will let the Orlando and Brevard boards take a look. I have used several of your techniques in the past.

When I really enjoy a particular provider's company, typically not a candy-controlled gal, I make every attempt to get their real names and phone numbers in anticipation of some of your scenarios.

The other technique that I have used is social media. I would love your analysis Mr Falken. Once I get said lady's name, I friend her on FB with my monger account. It turns out that quite a few of her friends have provided, would think about it, or occasionally need some money. FB is also good because if I ditch the monger phone, I can still have that account.

Hey, thanks Mosin for sharing with Brevard and Orlando. You may need to point them to Dirtona though, as I've foolishly neglected to post them to our UTR board, LOL.

Yeah, great call on the social media. I've noticed these lasses tend to befriend each other as you've said. Can you recommend next steps? Once you've identified a potential UTR from a providers network, do you just message them with the indecent proposal? Try to befriend them first? I'm interested to know what's worked, or what you think would work.

Cheers mate!

[Mosin Nagant]

I have been receiving texts from mongers for a while now asking how one goes about securing a UTR, probably because others with UTRs are smart enough not to write about them, LOL. Anyway, today I'm writing a bulk reply to those gentlemen....

These were two great posts! If you don't mind, I will let the Orlando and Brevard boards take a look. I have used several of your techniques in the past.

When I really enjoy a particular provider's company, typically not a candy-controlled gal, I make every attempt to get their real names and phone numbers in anticipation of some of your scenarios.

The other technique that I have used is social media. I would love your analysis Mr Falken. Once I get said lady's name, I friend her on FB with my monger account. It turns out that quite a few of her friends have provided, would think about it, or occasionally need some money. FB is also good because if I ditch the monger phone, I can still have that account.

[Topherman]

So IRL, outside this forum, man to man what does it really mean when a chick tells you, "And this by far is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done. " actually mean?

TIA.

Please and thank you.

Ron Swanson.

T-Man.

Coughf coughf.

[MiloYamBags]

Been there a bunch of times for work. San Jose has some crazy places. Pirates club is like a strip club with rooms upstairs. Del Ray has actual hotel rooms but more expensive. All the working girls need to be tested regularly, but still wrap the rascal. Jaco Beach is supposed to be the best but I haven't been there.

I stayed out near the airport, not a good move. Did one body rub place, and 2 incalls. Cheap and satisfying. Plus I was able to control the visit better in my hotel. I reviewed them in the international version of this page.

[MikeGirt]

Hey gang,

Does anyone have recommendations for an hourly type motel or cheap that doesn't have rats in the Daytona area (takes cash no I'd of course) I would rather meet my hookups at a place I can control. Less risk of LEO as well.

Thanks.

[Edgewater94]

Any body been to Costa Rica? Thinking about moving there.

T-Man.

Been there a bunch of times for work. San Jose has some crazy places. Pirates club is like a strip club with rooms upstairs. Del Ray has actual hotel rooms but more expensive. All the working girls need to be tested regularly, but still wrap the rascal. Jaco Beach is supposed to be the best but I haven't been there.

[Horn Dog Too]

Any body been to Costa Rica? Thinking about moving there.

T-Man.

Quite a few times. Only to San Jose though. PM if you'd like.

[Joshua Falken]

Now for a few UTR snaring methods I think would work but haven't found it necessary to try. But first a little thought process context. It strikes me that, if you are going it alone, a critical aspect to cultivating a UTR relationship is meeting a lass who is (or could be) both willing and able to have the occasional dalliance. Therefore, the methods posited below focus on ways to identify and meet such a lass.

Method 5: The Occasional Popup.

I watch skipthegames and similar sites carefully and now and again I note a lass will pop up for a few days, then go dark for months. These are hard to note due to fakes and transients, but they are identifiable. If I were looking for a UTR, that's probably where I would start. Clearly they don't want to be on the radar, but are occasionally compelled to do so when their finances are strained. I would get with one of these local pop ups, treat her right, and try to just keep seeing her when she goes to ground.

Method 6: The Occasional Duo.

We've all seen it, the mainstream provider who is doing duos with a hot noob. It's that partner that I would be interested in cultivating if I were looking. I would go see them as a couple and if I liked her and she liked me, I'd ask if I could call her sometime.

Method 7: The Duo Request.

My addiction to this fine hobby has introduced me to an absurd number of providers, and many seem to have friends who are curious but unwilling to advertise. You probably won't get far asking a provider to introduce you to such a lass, but if you tell her you are interested in trying mnage trois, she may do just that. Then see method six.

Method 8: The After Party.

I don't know much about the strip club scene, but these boards are rife with stories of mongers getting digits from the dancers. A clear upside to this approach is she's probably pretty hot and skilled. A downside might be that she's higher traffic than a typical UTR.

Method 9: The Arrangements Sites.

I don't use these sites for UTR hunting as I've found most lasses there are looking for hefty long-term financial compensation. However, some lads have reported success with these sites.

Method 10: The Acquaintance.

Turning friends into friends-with-benefits is a fantastic skill. I can't play in those waters as I must remain anonymous to my sex partners, but I'm sure others here could write troves on the subject.

Well, that's all I have for now. I meant to discuss ingratiating one's self to a lass to significantly increase their interest in being your UTR, but that will need to be a separate post. I'd be interested to learn from you lads what strategies have and haven't worked for you.

Cheers!

[Topherman]

Any body been to Costa Rica? Thinking about moving there.

T-Man.

[Joshua Falken]

I have been receiving texts from mongers for a while now asking how one goes about securing a UTR, probably because others with UTRs are smart enough not to write about them, LOL. Anyway, today I'm writing a bulk reply to those gentlemen, downloading my thoughts on the art and science of bagging that most illusive of creatures, the UTR.

So before I get started, first let me state that thankfully, the hunt for UTRs is not a zero-sum game. For those unfamiliar with that term, it comes from game theory and could be summarized as "for someone to win, some else must lose." Fortunately, the UTR game is not such a cutthroat enterprise, as your ability to lock down a little private trim on the side will have little or no effect on others' ability to do the same. That is why I don't care who knows my strategies, because you getting yours won't affect my game in any appreciable way. In fact, your success could even become my success (see method four below), but we'll navigate those waters later.

One final preamble before I jump in. I'm first going to describe the methods I know work because I've used them to my benefit. Then I'm going to describe methods I believe will work but haven't tried yet (mostly because I already have plenty, lol). But cracking on.

Method 1: Pursuing the dropout.

I've written about this one in the past, but for those who don't know, it goes something like this: You've got an advertising lass on your regular rotation who suddenly goes quiet. She's out of the game now and it may be for a variety of reasons. She may have a new boyfriend, taken on other work, moved away, decided she's over the hard provider lifestyle, whatever. But you, being a cunning lad, don't just write her off. You actually keep reaching out just in case. And sure, ninety five percent of the time you'll be texting dead air. But every now and then you'll catch one in the right mood. "Yeah, I could use some quick easy cash just now" she thinks to herself, staring somberly at her meager paycheck and the stack of bills on the counter. "He was always clean and respectful. Sure, why not?" She pings you back and you, my friend, now have yourself a UTR.

Method 2: The Invitee.

Around two years ago I had just finished shagging the stuffing out of wee Jasmine (she of elf and Christmas light costume fame) when, laying there naked and glistening she announces her impending retirement. "But I'm going to keep seeing a few of my favs," she offers to my relief. "Here is my real number," she says, picking up her phone to text me her digits. The rest is, as they say, history.

Method 3: The Respected Senior (public).

We care about our UTRs and want to see them happy and cared for, but often times we alone can't meet their financial needs. So what do we do? We reach out to our trusted mongering community. "Hey lads, my cute little UTR needs more help than I can give just now. Respected Seniors hit me up if interested." The key there is "Respected Seniors." We don't want just anyone shagging our girl. The gents we send her way reflect on us, so we look for lads who contribute (so they are a known and trusted quantity) and lads who are respectful of the providers they see (no way in hell am I sending a sadist to my UTR). Which brings me to my final tried and true method.

Method 4: The Respected Senior (private).

This one is much like method three, except that the sharing goes on behind the scenes. So for this one, it pays to maintain a healthy network of mongering friends. Then, when your mate's UTR needs some extra cash, he doesn't post about it, he messages you.

So those are the methods I have direct experience with... but the candles burn low in their sconces, so I'll save the remaining ideas for a part II post, where I'll also offer up some ideas on how to tilt the odds for any of these methods in your favor.

Cheers!

[SwampRat]

Oh, come on man! Really? Just read "his" 10 posts. All about Kira and Jayne. Most obvious case of self posting I've ever seen.

My guess is that it is Kiara and the fake post about that 330 LB pig is just made up to throw us off of the scent LOL.