Thread: Dirtona Pugilistic Society and Coffee Bar
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04-06-22 07:38 #991
Posts: 305Originally Posted by JoshuaFalken [View Original Post]
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04-06-22 00:05 #990
Posts: 482Setting the Mood
Speaking of moving on to other topics, do you lads have a favorite song or station you listen to on your way to a playdate? Something you choose to set your mood before the deed?
I have two. When I hanker for a relaxing time I put on 50's and 60's classic rock. You know, Buddy Holly, Patsy Cline, Dusty Spingfield, etc.
However, every now and again, when both she and I are hank marvin to fuck each other blind, I'll start off with some quality Prague Metal, such as Ne Obliviscaris. Then, about five minutes out I'll put on Buckcherry's Crazy B*tch at obscene volume and let nature take its course, LOL. I can't think of a more suitable track to set the extreme fucking mood than Crazy B*tch.
So how about you? What music gets you going?
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04-05-22 23:59 #989
Posts: 482Incentivization
Originally Posted by BeachRunner51 [View Original Post]
Cheers!
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04-05-22 18:58 #988
Posts: 689Originally Posted by JoshuaFalken [View Original Post]
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04-05-22 18:01 #987
Posts: 482The Underappreciated Car Date, part II
So in part one we enumerated what I felt were the biggest cons to car play, then we discussed some of the pros. Now we'll talk about mitigating those cons a bit, and offer some tips to make the whole experience run more smoothly and enjoyably. And that's what it's all about from where I stand. Squeezing maximum enjoyment from each encounter, aided by a little planning and forethought.
Issue: Car dates are cramped.
Mitigations: Okay, this one isn't in the cards for everyone, but the bottom line is, the more space you create, the more comfortable and enjoyable the experience will be. So next time you're standing in the car lot debating between two vehicles, you may want to consider what each might bring to the car date experience. Yes, of course it's a secondary consideration to all your other wants and needs, but if all other factors are present, why not consider it? I did, and purposely chose a luxury SUV that was capable of supporting a makeshift bed in the back. No new-to-you vehicles in your future? That's okay, take stock of your current vehicle's ability to create space. The back of my sedan (I have several vehicles) is positively cavernous when the seats are positioned full-forward. Also, when the front passenger seat is leaned all the way back and the head rest removed, it places the occupant's head directly in the lap of anyone sitting behind. Have a two seater? Too bad, you're shit out of luck. Only joking. Yeah, it's challenging, but still tenable. Of course, road head and a handy are always on the table, but if the seats have enough travel, single-seated cowgirl and reverse cowgirl may be possible from both positions. Single-seat missionary is also often possible in the passenger seat with the seat all the way back and your knees on the floor board. Perhaps my favorite mitigation to the cramped car conundrum is to simply take the lass outside. If you've chosen a suitably secluded spot, just take her outside and your options open up dramatically. I was recently in standing doggy, balls-deep in Dasani while doing some quality star gazing on a rural DeLand access road. It was, no pun intended, heavenly. And when the mood is upon me, I actually prefer an outdoor shag to the typical provider notel room anyway. Our friends in blue are known for this one, aren't you lads, LOL. You don't want to lock yourselves in the back of your own squad cars, so you're famous for shagging hookers on the hood. What, you thought LEOs didn't need pussy too? And you thought they didn't read these boards, LOL? Anyway, I've devoted entirely too much ink to the cramped car conundrum, so let's attempt to pick up the pace.
Issue: Car dates have an inherent exposure risk during the deed.
Mitigations: Make car play a night time activity. Invest in dark window tint. And by far most importantly, choose your parking spot wisely. I'll just expand on this one a bit, as it's probably the single most important action you will take on your car date. First of all, if you are a returning customer and you really trust the lass (and if you are brown belt or below, you shouldn't), she will likely know several good parking spots that have served her well in the past. Trust me, she doesn't want to get caught either. If you are skeptical as to her motives and character, don't rely on the lass for a good spot. One thing I often do is arrive in the pickup area early and spend a little time scoping out possible spots. If I'm in an urban area, apartment complexes are probably my favorite. Plenty of cars around so you don't stand out. Multiple ingress/egress routes, nobody really knows what vehicles belong there, and there are usually a few poorly lit patches to set up camp in. If you are in a rural area, or close to it, like many areas around DeLand, Deltona, Lake Helen, etc., there will likely be innumerable utility access roads, turnouts, and unimproved secluded public vias that will do nicely. Just remember to have at least two ways out so no single vehicle can trap you. The chances of anyone actually trying to trap you are vanishingly small, yet a few precautions are worth the piece of mind in my book.
Issue: Car dates require additional preparation.
Mitigations: Well, keeping your vehicle clean and near date-ready is a good start. I also keep a car date go bag well hidden in my garage. I'll dive into it's contents later, but it certainly makes getting out the door easier. I also like to make a gas station stop after the deed to dispose of condoms, wrappers, and Crystal's flip flops. This also affords me the opportunity to wash up and change if I need to.
Issue: Poor hygiene is amplified several fold.
Mitigations: Leave your vehicle running, lights off, with the A/C set to draw outside air. Also, before your date (but not on a first date), ask her if DATY is on the menu. It doesn't matter if you want to perform DATY or not. The important thing is, if she thinks your face will be mated to her nether regions, the lass may just make an extra effort at freshness. Also, these days it is often socially acceptable to wear a mask. Sucks to go there, but it may beat the alternative. At the first sign of olfactory trouble I wouldn't hesitate to grab an N95, offering some excuse about caring for an elderly parent. Let's also not forget the bit about taking her outside; also an excellent mitigation to the poor hygiene problem. And of course remember, poor hygiene cuts both ways, so always arrive shower-fresh.
Okay, so that was a lot longer than I first thought. I guess I'll call it here and hopefully come back with a part three to discuss dos, don'ts, and lessons learned. Or, if these posts are just garnering crickets, I'll leave it here and move on to other topics.
Cheers lads!
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04-04-22 21:28 #986
Posts: 482The Underappreciated Car Date, part I
I feel that car dates don't fully deserve their unsavory reputation within the mongering community. By these missives and follow-on discussion, I hope to skew perceptions of the car date back towards center just a bit. These PSAs are probably most useful to the white belts, but I dare say even the occasional mongering black belt will find something below to ponder.
Before we run down all the reasons to celebrate the car date, let's enumerate the Cons list first.
1. Unless you own a Hummer limo or a cargo van with bed in the back, let's face it, car dates are cramped. This means only a select subset of a provider's menu will be available to you. The smaller the vehicle and the larger the Hobbyist, the more truncated this menu will be. However, even in the smallest of vehicles, blowjobs and certain flavors of missionary, cowgirl, and reverse cowgirl are almost always achievable.
2. Car dates have an inherent exposure risk during the deed. If the parking spot is chosen poorly, any number of undesirable interruptions may occur. LEO, security guards, drunks, addicts, and Karens will all feel compelled to get up in your business if they know what you're up to.
3. Car dates require additional preparation. Not only should you preen yourself, but you should preen your vehicle a bit too, inside at least. Plus, if your significant other has access to your car, you'll have the added effort of returning your car to it's pre-date state. Not to mention the hunt for any incriminating items such as condoms, wrappers, and DeLand Crystal's flipflops left on your floorboards (yeah, that was a thing).
4. And of course, in such a restricted volume, poor hygiene is amplified several fold.
In a later post I will discuss how to mitigate the above, but first I'd like to jump right into the virtues of a car date.
Reasons to do a car date:
1. No incall- If the lass is outcall-only and you are a local, odds are you've only got two choices, getting a room or doing a car date. If getting a room isn't in the cards for you, a car date may be the only way to experience that provider who obviously caught your eye.
Pro Tip- If you own a luxury vehicle, use it to incentivize.
Random Provider: Sorry baby I don't do car dates.
Me: (Validate) I totally get that love. (Paint the picture) Just in case there's any wiggle room, I do have a beautiful and super comfortable Mercedes SUV for us to play in. When I lay the back seats down and make a bed from a pile of fuzzy blankets, its nicer than most hotel rooms, lol.
Random Provider: Okay baby, just this once.
2. Economical Appeal- Even if you can swing the hotel room, you may not want to. An average visit plus hotel room will set you back around 200 quid. Her car date donation will likely be about half that.
3. Environmental Control- You control what your vehicle smells like, so if her place smells like the standard cigarettes and Febreze, a car date may be worth considering. Just ask the lass to skip the perfume, she'll understand why. Poor hygiene can throw a wrench in this plan, but I'll get to that mitigation later.
4. First Timer Inherent Safety- Okay, this virtue seems to fly in the face of Con #2, but here me out. When meeting a lass for the first time, especially one who is unreviewed, your two biggest concerns are LEO and a set up. Both of these unfortunate situations are mitigated by a car date. Our friends in blue and the asshole muggers rely heavily on controlling the situation. Most want nothing to do with a car date, which introduces too many variables they can't control. This is why, when encountering an unknown lass for the first time, I will often press the car date, even when she has an incall.
5. Safer with the Ill Repute (aka "Fracking") - White belts, please skip ahead to the next section. Actually, everyone below second degree black belt, please skip ahead, as flubbing this one is likely to get you robbed and I deny any responsibility for mongering stupidity, LOL. If you're still here, this is the logic. I am intimately familiar with the past five years of posts on the Daytona usasg boards, and it strikes me that many, if not most, of the ripoffs reported herein involve the idiot boyfriend or inept handler. Remove these dolts from the equation, and you are often left with a perfectly reasonable lass who just wants to earn that next hit and otherwise stay out of trouble. I've been experimenting with this theory over the past year-or-so with great success. I mean, think about it. If screwdriver man hadn't been there, would wee Lexi, stoned out of her mind, actually have ripped off RemoveTrace1? I doubted it, and proceeded to set up a car date with Lexi to test my convictions. But that is a tale for another time. I've even gone so far as to test this approach on one of the Untouchables, that group of local providers so well known for ripping mongers off that you'd have to be insane to even text them. Yes, I have been tapping Monica, probably the hottest local body currently on STG, occasionally these past few months, and it all started by whisking her away for a car date. Of course, the car date wasn't the only step taken. There was also donating generously, treating her right, carrying myself as a gentleman does, exhibiting class and sophistication, and of course, engaging her in funny or meaningful conversation. There was also extreme vigilence and a taser in the door pocket, but clearly everything went...mostly according to plan. Had I met her at her sister's flat for the first time I imagine I would have been easy to dismiss as a mark. Now she would find it much more difficult to rip me off I expect. Having said that, I have no illusions of grandeur where providers are concerned. I've said it before and I'll say it again here: "I will always be vigilant and ready to walk away, because I know that inevitable day will come when my provider's need for candy will supersede my need for safety and discretion." If lads are interested, I could compose a proper review of Monica, maybe just for private circulation. She has a smokin body to be sure, but I wouldn't want the noobs even entertaining the idea that she's a safe option until I've gathered more experience with the lass.
So why "fracking" you may ask? Well, for decades, vast oil reserves were known to exist in certain pockets of shale, but conventional extraction methods were too expensive to feasibly access it. Then came fracking, a technology used to viably tap into previously untapped oil wealth. And since I'm tapping the stuffing out of the previously untappable, it seemed appropriate, LOL. And noobs, if you try fracking and get burned, I will gleefully ridicule your supreme lack of judgement on these boards as a cautionary tale, LOL.
So we'll leave it there for this post lads. In part two I'll discuss mitigating the cons listed above, and proffer a few dos and don'ts for car date success. Hopefully even a few wisened car date masters such as SwampRat will chime in with their experiences and advice.
Cheers!
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04-04-22 21:18 #985
Posts: 482Good Advice
Originally Posted by Willie24 [View Original Post]
Cheers mate!
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03-28-22 19:21 #984
Posts: 648Originally Posted by RemoveTrace1 [View Original Post]
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03-26-22 10:11 #983
Posts: 1379Falkenese
Originally Posted by JoshuaFalken [View Original Post]
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03-26-22 08:49 #982
Posts: 482Full
Heads-up Swim999 that your inbox is full.
Cheers!
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03-20-22 05:48 #981
Posts: 689This is good news
Originally Posted by JoshuaFalken [View Original Post]
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03-20-22 00:57 #980
Posts: 482Rumors of my disappearance have been slightly exaggerated
My recent absence from these hallowed halls has nothing to do with the Audrey rumor and everything to do with a period of extensive work travel. Well, nearly everything. Have you lads seen the state of the local talent pool? Saints preserve us! I think you have it right BeachRunner. Time to launch Brevard and Orlando sorties I'd reckon.
Anyway, when these protracted travel periods arise, I usually retire my account to curb the temptation to post, allowing me to concentrate more fully on the mission. Of course, I later rejoin under a fresh moniker when the timing is more auspicious. The sole reason I didn't retire Joshua Falken this go 'round is that I detest waiting six months to undo the text editor's butchering of proper written English (like how it forces a period after sentence-ending quotation marks or in place of ellipsis, lol).
I think I may have peaked the swell, however, and a hint of schedule normalcy seems to be teasing the horizon. I suspect you lads will soon be suffering through more interminable provider reviews and mongering soliloquy at my hand, lol.
Cheers!
P.S. OTP, I messaged you back on Feb 27 at 23:55.
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03-19-22 14:58 #979
Posts: 102Falken
He disappeared around the time I made a warning post about a certain girl, which was unfortunately deleted by admin. The post warned about her "sting", which is deadly. I even messaged him to let him know to get checked out as I know he was with her, but he never responded back. Hopefully he is ok. Of course this could all be coincidence, but the timing is correct.
Originally Posted by SushiBoy3857 [View Original Post]
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03-09-22 01:50 #978
Posts: 66Ouch
Originally Posted by SwampRat [View Original Post]
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03-08-22 14:31 #977
Posts: 624Newbie
Originally Posted by RPitcher86 [View Original Post]