My addiction.

[Daze00]

Very random, but I really wanted to take time and say thank you to Head First and Bob *because Bob is amazing* and pretty much everyone who posts here. I my self have never been good at posting here. Or any where to be honest. But I read a lot. I've lurked here now for well over a decade. Reading about other people who deal with the same struggles I do helps bring some peace knowing I'm not alone in said struggles. It's been 9 days since I've been any where. Here I've been for the last hour debating trying to find bullshit reasons to talk my self in to going than right back out of going. I had pretty much made up my mind and said screw I'm going. On a fluke I clicked the general tab and noticed for the first time this My addiction section. Reading through this has drastically helped clear up my head. Thank you Thank you Thank you. For the last 3 years I've told my self I want to stop, but one reason or another I continue, if I had to guess, I think my longest period of time not seeing anyone would be around the 20 day mark. Around 3 weeks of nothing I start to become insanely restless. My thought process has slipped my mind, so I'll end quickly with saying again to everyone who posts on this site Thank you Thank you Thank you! Head First I wish you the very best of luck! Hoping this year I can make it to the triple digits on not paying for pussy!

[Voxx1]

Very eye opening and heart breaking. Thank you for sharing and I hope that you're doing much better.

I have been in this "hobby" for about 5 years now. I no longer see it as a hobby, its an addiction and a very bad one at that. I'm going to share with everyone my heart felt story.

In only 5 short years this has caused me a divorce (sorta), near 100 k,2 stds (nothing permanent), and now my business and my daughters college fund. I really have no idea if anyone else is this bad but I am and I want everyone to know how bad it can be.

I spend around 500 bucks a week and sometimes more. Sometimes I go to multiple AMPs or places in a day! I have a girlfriend whos hotter then most everyone I see. Its like I can't control it and I just go go go.

When I first started it was like once every 2 weeks but grew to so much more. This really is like a drug and I need out. I have destroyed so many lives and now I am in so much debt with my business and I spent my daughters 25 k I had for college. I have no way to replace it. I will probably lose my daughters love and for sure respect. I have take out short term title loans before to pay for services, I have sold shit to pay for it.

I know many of you and even via pm I would love to hear if anyone else is in my position. I seriously feel like theres noway out. The shame and embarrasment is destroying me. The final nail in the coffin is how do I tell my daughter I spent her college fund? I'm so out of control!

[Sam Spade]

If you step out of your house and a cop asks you if you had sex with your wife, go ahead. Tell him anything. Tell him such stories that he'll get a hard on and return to his cruiser to jack off. But come out of an AMP or EMP? No, it is not illegal to have sex with a someone you do business with. But if the business is massage, it raises all sorts of red flags, and the cops will have no problem finding a judge to order the business shut down.

Just tell them you got a massage. Worked on those stressed out lower back muscles. Don't even mention a tip.

I've had plain clothes guys ask me how was it, and of course I say nothing. I agree they probably can't make such a thing stick. No Miranda warning or anything. I would guess the plan is to scare the guy, threaten to get his name published in the Police Blotter- in essence outing him to the community. Do all this to get the guy to testify against the MT.

[Bob521]

I've had plain clothes guys ask me how was it, and of course I say nothing. I agree they probably can't make such a thing stick. No Miranda warning or anything. I would guess the plan is to scare the guy, threaten to get his name published in the Police Blotter- in essence outing him to the community. Do all this to get the guy to testify against the MT.

How can you get busted for sayin that.

You could slways say you were lying and embellishing the story for fun.

They can't prove it.

[MickSwagger]

Looking for potential fun, I started to read the forums for that state. Read a post about a guy who came out of an AMP and was confronted by a cop. Cop asked him if he'd received sex. At first the guy said no. Cop persisted along the lines of You Can Tell Me! The guy does, gets himself and the girl who gave him a handy, busted. Idiot. Just say you went to get a massage, nothing else, and can I go now, and my neck and shoulders feel so much better.

How can you get busted for sayin that.

You could slways say you were lying and embellishing the story for fun.

They can't prove it.

[Head First]

So I was at a similar level of activity until I met Mei. And then all of a sudden, I no longer felt the urge to go hunting. So I don't feel the need to go hunting. I can't speak for anybody else on the forum, but at least in my case it was a scenario where I was missing intimacy and physical fun.

That answers that. I've been wondering if the beast still needs to be fed once in a satisfying relationship.

As a member of this hobby, I can usually quench the physical fun part by going out and getting off. But it's the intimacy that's not fulfilled and what keeps me searching, which will never happen because I'm looking in all the wrong places.

Makes perfect sense.

[Bob521]

So I was at a similar level of activity until I met Mei. And then all of a sudden, I no longer felt the urge to go hunting. My self-analysis was that there was a void in my life, even though I'm married. American wife is a good person (I don't deserve her, and she doesn't deserve me) but she just doesn't do it for me. So with Mei I'm happy and fully satisfied. Nearly every day. So I don't feel the need to go hunting. I can't speak for anybody else on the forum, but at least in my case it was a scenario where I was missing intimacy and physical fun. That's what pushed me to do it.

I had another B'Day last week and it reminded me of the promise I made to myself a while ago to stop paying for pussy.

At the height (or is it the lowest) of this addiction I was going 5-7 X a week, every week, for years. I could so I did. Then some things changed but I also recognized that what I was doing was harmful (to me) so I decided to stop it. But I soon realized what a hold it had on me. Many visits with a psychiatrist and a psychologist didn't work and I came to the conclusion that I'd rather be spending this cash on pussy than doctors.

As with my other addictions I learned that tapering works best for me. So I've been doing that and after 2 years it's gotten me to the point of 2-4 visits / rewards a month. I've not gotten this monkey completely off my back but it seems to be working and I consider it progress.

Curbing my Appetite (For Destruction) has allowed me to consider getting into a healthy meaningful relationship again. But the other side of that coin has me fantasizing about buying an AMP. It should be a no-brainer but it's not (yet), so...

[Head First]

Thats how many days I made it this cycle from the last time. Thats the longest I've gone without a visit to a whorehouse, or an AMP, or an EMP, or a strip club, or anywhere there are females willing to accept money for sex. And that also includes only one visit to a porn site which BTW didn't result in a happy ending. I've been doing this since the late 80's so I'm quite proud of myself.

I got to thinking this was achievable. That I could give this behavior up.

And then my birthday came. And I thought since nobody was baking me a cake or throwing me a party, and I didn't even hear from my daughter, that I should reward myself / have my own party.

So I splurged and went to my new goto. By the time I got there I was so excited that even the Great Wall of China couldn't have stopped me from going in. And in I went. My new atf greeted me and soon we were both naked and doing things that gave me great pleasure.

An hour later I'm on the way home and feeling guilty for going. But also proud. For staying away for 23 days!!

It's giving me hope that I may be able to do this. Just not this time.

I had another B'Day last week and it reminded me of the promise I made to myself a while ago to stop paying for pussy.

At the height (or is it the lowest) of this addiction I was going 5-7 X a week, every week, for years. I could so I did. Then some things changed but I also recognized that what I was doing was harmful (to me) so I decided to stop it. But I soon realized what a hold it had on me. Many visits with a psychiatrist and a psychologist didn't work and I came to the conclusion that I'd rather be spending this cash on pussy than doctors.

As with my other addictions I learned that tapering works best for me. So I've been doing that and after 2 years it's gotten me to the point of 2-4 visits / rewards a month. I've not gotten this monkey completely off my back but it seems to be working and I consider it progress.

Curbing my Appetite (For Destruction) has allowed me to consider getting into a healthy meaningful relationship again. But the other side of that coin has me fantasizing about buying an AMP. It should be a no-brainer but it's not (yet), so...

[Sam Spade]

I'm new to this hobby and though I am excited, I'm scared about getting caught by LE. This may be apart of the fun of it, but I haven't seen much on this forum about what happens if you get caught / arrested.

It seems to me that LE cannot be stupid, and must realize this is going on in their towns. Are they just going after the business' rather than the customers? Has anybody gotten in trouble? What happened?

This is my fear! Am I over reacting as a new guy?

If you go to an AMP or an EMP, your chances of getting caught by Uncle LEO are practically nil. They are not going to set up a massage parlor for you to walk into, give you a massage, and wait for you to proposition the nice officer who also happens to give a good massage. No, the danger is on the massage therapists side. They are the ones who have to be sure of you, not the other way around.

I recall like 15 years ago I took a business trip to North Carolina. Looking for potential fun, I started to read the forums for that state. Read a post about a guy who came out of an AMP and was confronted by a cop. Cop asked him if he'd received sex. At first the guy said no. Cop persisted along the lines of You Can Tell Me! The guy does, gets himself and the girl who gave him a handy, busted. Idiot. Just say you went to get a massage, nothing else, and can I go now, and my neck and shoulders feel so much better.

Occasionally you will hear about stings, especially in the northern burbs where I live. The cops will put ads in Craigslist or Backpage, with ridiculous headings.

Hot Teen in Schaumburg wants to see you! 80 for one hour!

Absolutely too good to be true, right? It is. But guys fall for it. They go to the hotel and into the waiting arms of the cops, who will arrest they, take their car, post their picture on a John list along with name and place of residence. Again, the idiots.

Now if you're worried about getting caught by your significant other, you're on your own.

[Iancognito]

Yea I'm only considering AMP at this point. It just seems to me that walking into one of these, you have a target on your back from those LE patrolling the area. But I suppose its hard to prove anything unless they are physically in the room. Maybe a reverse type sting is the only way to get caught?

A little dose of fear isn't necessarily a bad thing, it helps you think with your big head. Apart from that it depends on which aspect of this hobby you're referring to, SW's, AMP's, independents, aamps, escorts? Everyone has to decide for themselves how much they're comfortable with because it's always a concern. Just remember though, if you are in an AMP when it's raided just let them know you were only there for a massage and do not offer any more information. If they don't catch you doing anything then they can't do anything but try to harass you into saying what they want to hear.

-w.

[Wenger]

I'm new to this hobby and though I am excited, I'm scared about getting caught by LE. This may be apart of the fun of it, but I haven't seen much on this forum about what happens if you get caught / arrested.

It seems to me that LE cannot be stupid, and must realize this is going on in their towns. Are they just going after the business' rather than the customers? Has anybody gotten in trouble? What happened?

This is my fear! Am I over reacting as a new guy?

A little dose of fear isn't necessarily a bad thing, it helps you think with your big head. Apart from that it depends on which aspect of this hobby you're referring to, SW's, AMP's, independents, aamps, escorts? Everyone has to decide for themselves how much they're comfortable with because it's always a concern. Just remember though, if you are in an AMP when it's raided just let them know you were only there for a massage and do not offer any more information. If they don't catch you doing anything then they can't do anything but try to harass you into saying what they want to hear.

-w.

[Iancognito]

I'm new to this hobby and though I am excited, I'm scared about getting caught by LE. This may be apart of the fun of it, but I haven't seen much on this forum about what happens if you get caught / arrested.

It seems to me that LE cannot be stupid, and must realize this is going on in their towns. Are they just going after the business' rather than the customers? Has anybody gotten in trouble? What happened?

This is my fear! Am I over reacting as a new guy?

[ReadyForRub]

Thanks.

It's quite a slippery slope. My recovery seems to move in cycles. I'll be Ok for a time and think I've got this and next thing I know I'm pulling into a spa for some relief. Dec. Jan. And Feb seemed to be good but March not so good. 2 visits this week to 2 different places.

But I want to beat this so I'll keep trying.

Fall Down 7 Times, Get Up 8.

All things in moderation. It's an expensive hobby. Don't let the dollars get in the way of living with your friends and relatives.

[Head First]

I say CONGRATULATIONS. You have to remember even alcoholics and drug addicts have to start over many times. Also remember just like them you are an addict for life and you need to fight the battle every day. Maybe next time you will go 46 days, maybe only 4. Either way keep the faith.

Thanks.

It's quite a slippery slope. My recovery seems to move in cycles. I'll be Ok for a time and think I've got this and next thing I know I'm pulling into a spa for some relief. Dec. Jan. And Feb seemed to be good but March not so good. 2 visits this week to 2 different places.

But I want to beat this so I'll keep trying.

Fall Down 7 Times, Get Up 8.

[DMichaels69]

30 years is a long time. Best wishes and good luck to you.

Retirement time for me boyos after 30+ years. After two times where I couldn't finish, I've decided that it's not a good use of time, money and quite frankly my ego. I've had ED issues over the years, but the crew at ERS never failed me. But, after one HE massage and another 'dream' which included BBBJ and cfs, the failure to complete isn't worth the chase. Enjoy it while you got it and I'll check it once and a while to catch up on the happenings.