Rants and Raves

**Shade Snake** · 08-24-20 12:23

Originally Posted by BusterHymen55 [View Original Post]

I feel like I'm watching some bad episode of a Dr. Phil session!

Come on man, I appreciate the community here coming together for this guy.

FairFight, modern day dating is extremely hard. I'm about the same age as you so I can relate to what you're saying. Try not to compare yourself to all of your coworkers. They may be married or have girlfriends, but does that mean they're truly happy? There may be trouble at home and unlike us, they have the complete freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want.

Also I would avoid dating apps and online dating to an extent. There are so many entitled bitches on there who are just on them for attention, Instagram followers, or to be amused by you as oppose to seriously dating or just hooking up.

Oh and the whole cute girl that works out and play video games. Dated a girl that just did that, but I swear a lot of the gaming girls tend to have mental issues. In my case, the girl I was dating had manic depression and it was terrible. You can definitely see the highs and lows. However, it does make me want to seek something more real (maybe you too), but it's fun being in her company so much that sex wasn't at the forefront because she had a lot to offer. No to mention sex will be awesome because you can go bare and not be afraid of catching anything.

**Lobsid** · 08-24-20 11:33

I was a virgin till I was 23, mainly because I was shy. Biggest problem most guys isn't their looks or lack of money. Unless they are on the extreme negative on looks. They are shy, and not use to talking to girls. Try online dating sites, it will help you learn what mistakes your making, also there is a lot less fear of rejection. Remember any girl on a online dating site is looking to be asked out.

Originally Posted by FairFight [View Original Post]

It does seem like the whole being a loner thing isn't really common. I'm the only guy on my team of 16 staff that doesn't have a girlfriend or is unmarried. The weird thing is everyone's claimed a girls had interest in them but not me. A girl has never tried talking to me and usually when I make conversations with them. They have boyfriends or aren't interested beyond a conversation. Doesn't everyone get a shot at love? Wouldn't create some happiness knowing you have control over that? What about the lack of intimacy. I've met girls that have never gone more 2 weeks without sex and bits embarrassing to know I went from 18- 25 without sex.

**BusterHymen55** · 08-24-20 11:03

I feel like I'm watching some bad episode of a Dr. Phil session!

**Shinshi86** · 08-24-20 10:03

Originally Posted by FairFight [View Original Post]

It does seem like the whole being a loner thing isn't really common. I'm the only guy on my team of 16 staff that doesn't have a girlfriend or is unmarried. The weird thing is everyone's claimed a girls had interest in them but not me. A girl has never tried talking to me and usually when I make conversations with them. They have boyfriends or aren't interested beyond a conversation. Doesn't everyone get a shot at love? Wouldn't create some happiness knowing you have control over that? What about the lack of intimacy. I've met girls that have never gone more 2 weeks without sex and bits embarrassing to know I went from 18- 25 without sex.

It's not unheard of--nor is it a thing to be embarrassed about--to be the lone single guy in any work environment. I can't stress this enough, man: don't worry about things outside your control. If you're typically quiet & introverted, be quiet & introverted. If you're alpha & outgoing, be alpha & outgoing. If you're shy, be shy. The only thing I suppose you could / might want to change on account of a woman is if said change will improve your overall quality of life: working out more, eating healthier, learning a new skill, enjoying a new hobby, etc.

I firmly believe in the time-old adage that "there's someone out there for everyone. " Corny, I know. It often requires patience, putting yourself out there, dealing with rejection (a lot of it), and thinking for yourself. As I mentioned in an earlier post, you're going to live a miserable existence if you're constantly worrying about another woman's well-being & always sacrificing your comfort for her's. And no, that's not being selfish--that's healthy, keeping yourself sane!

If you find yourself in the beginnings of a real relationship (outside this hobby), don't focus on the lack of intimacy at first. That sort of thing usually takes time. Accept that that'll come naturally or when both parties are ready. Though I'd say it's time to jump ship if you feel for a second that you're getting financially played or if there's nothing to be had after 6 months. And during the times you're not in a relationship and feeling the itch, see the occasional provider. In your instance, I'd recommend a professional over a SB (because the latter is an amateur and does require some partial chasing / work). However if you do wish to go the SB route, I recommend reading up on the Richmond forums. There's some fantastic info and stories to be had over there!

Temper your expectations, be realistic, have "fun" within the confines of your budget, and focus on what makes you happiest while being yourself. I get that training your mindset to be like this won't happen overnight. My point is that you'll never be satisfied--nor content in life--until you change your outlook. There's no reason to be celibate if you've got the itch and the funds. And there's no reason to hit the panic button just because you're the only single guy in his 30's within 100 miles of somewhere.

**FairFight** · 08-24-20 00:58

It does seem like the whole being a loner thing isn't really common. I'm the only guy on my team of 16 staff that doesn't have a girlfriend or is unmarried. The weird thing is everyone's claimed a girls had interest in them but not me. A girl has never tried talking to me and usually when I make conversations with them. They have boyfriends or aren't interested beyond a conversation. Doesn't everyone get a shot at love? Wouldn't create some happiness knowing you have control over that? What about the lack of intimacy. I've met girls that have never gone more 2 weeks without sex and bits embarrassing to know I went from 18- 25 without sex.

**Barraquda22** · 08-22-20 23:40

Originally Posted by FairFight [View Original Post]

To see other dudes type that they aren't hot or successful and still get girls.

All I wanted in life was a cute girl that loves to work out and play video games. Yet another year will go by with only rejections and it just makes me want to avoid everyone and sit in my apartment day after day knowing I tried my best and even invested financially into therapy, dating coaching, even sugar baby.

My wife works, works out, and plays candy crush haha. But seriously, please stop pissing money on therapy and the scammers that are "dating coaches". And also you don't want someone that sits around all day spending your money. That just sews the seeds of resentment and youll want to slap her the first time she says no to any request made no matter how trivial.

BQ22.

**Ignatius369** · 08-22-20 12:55

There is an old joke about the man who asks a girl if she will sleep with him for a million dollars. Of course, she says yes. He then offers her two dollars and she slaps his face, saying, 'What do you think I am?' He answers, 'I know what you are. We are just haggling over the price.

**Shinshi86** · 08-21-20 22:33

Originally Posted by FairFight [View Original Post]

Seriously I don't want the "adult" version of romance. I wanted the high school or college romance. I just don't find older women attractive, our interest vary greatly, fashion style isn't my type, a lot of them don't work out or have kids or divorced.

How will it work out for me? When I'm still wanting a girl that's just as inexperienced as me but there none left. That's why it's such a burden and something I'm chasing now before I'll never find a girl in her early 20's that's also new to dating and willing to give her 100%.

If it's "high school or college romance" that you're after, you either have to have some game or accept that it'll cost you. There's very little in-between, and it's best you come to accept this now rather than later. There needs to be realistic expectations established.

Personal story time: I've been in two serious relationships since graduating high school. And like you, I prefer my women to be at least a year younger than me. In both instances, those women technically pursued me. I didn't suddenly lose my introverted nature, alter my personality to be an alpha male, rake in the big bucks, win the lottery, buy a fancy car, or any of that nonsense. In fact, the only changes were to my eating habits (because one gf was a vegetarian), working out a little more often (easy when you enjoy it already), and starting out as close friends which eventually turned into something more after realizing the chemistry & attraction were present. I've also been in this hobby for 7-8 years. And while in a serious relationship, I never once stepped out on my gf (loyalty's important to me); however, I picked my hobbying ways back up after the most recent relationship ended.

Prior to January of this year, I'd visit a strip club once in a blue moon or saw a professional escort. Since 2020 began, I've had decent success with SBs on Seeking Arrangements. At NO TIME have I ever deluded myself into thinking that those girls fell in love with anything about me except my money. That's not something that should surprise anyone. It's kind of their job. You're just one of their many johns. You can't change these women who are often damaged in some form or another. So if it's love you're after, you're not going to find it in this hobby. No one here is Richard Gere or Hugh Hefner.

Not trying to go all "Dr. Phil" on you, but I hope you take the following advice to heart: don't stress about things outside your control. By worrying about the future, trying too hard, forcing a relationship to work, or spending every waking second trying to please a potential partner, you will have missed out on so much that life has to offer and will only make yourself miserable. Just be yourself, treat others with respect, don't let them play you for your checking / savings account, and pursue your interests & passions. The rest will fall into place in due time. Until then, be safe, keep your head on a swivel, and enjoy life to the fullest. Cheers!

**FairFight** · 08-21-20 16:04

Originally Posted by MoonBat11 [View Original Post]

I understand your frustration and I understand that things were a lot different for older guys than they are for younger guys with online hookup apps and other broader social changes. The good thing is that you're still pretty young at 28 years old, and things will almost certainly change as you get older and as women age (the amount of attention that they get from men generally goes down with the passing years, which tends to have an impact on their perspective). I would say that the most important thing right now is to set boundaries. Don't give more than you get and never give people things to get them to like you. They'll like the stuff but they won't like you, and they'll have no respect for you, and then they'll pass that word around. Again, don't be afraid to set boundaries and enforce them. If someone sees that you're giving in terms of a genuine overture for example, such as an invitation to spend time with them or inviting them to a social event, if they're a decent person that'll be received in an entirely different way. If they're not, you don't need them in your life anyway.

Seriously I don't want the "adult" version of romance. I wanted the high school or college romance. I just don't find older women attractive, our interest vary greatly, fashion style isn't my type, a lot of them don't work out or have kids or divorced.

How will it work out for me? When I'm still wanting a girl that's just as inexperienced as me but there none left. That's why it's such a burden and something I'm chasing now before I'll never find a girl in her early 20's that's also new to dating and willing to give her 100%.

**MoonBat11** · 08-21-20 12:14

Originally Posted by StichJones [View Original Post]

Just an old man giving a young buck some life experience advice. ALL women will use and lie in some form even when you think you have a relationship. Take time to realize this and proceed with it in mind. Obviously any female who is claiming to be a sugar baby or straight up hooker is using everyone she comes in contact with so never believe otherwise. Don't sweat your dating life as you mention. It's little difference in that world. Very few in life ever get to meet a loyal, honest person to have a relationship with. Go with how the world is, trust no know, use as you see fit and comfortable with and don't let any of the bullshit get you down. Focus on what you can control, be cautious with your money and spend it wisely and enjoy whatever path you choose to go down.

I second this!

**MoonBat11** · 08-21-20 12:12

Originally Posted by FairFight [View Original Post]

To see other dudes type that they aren't hot or successful and still get girls.

All I wanted in life was a cute girl that loves to work out and play video games. Yet another year will go by with only rejections and it just makes me want to avoid everyone and sit in my apartment day after day knowing I tried my best and even invested financially into therapy, dating coaching, even sugar baby.

I understand your frustration and I understand that things were a lot different for older guys than they are for younger guys with online hookup apps and other broader social changes. The good thing is that you're still pretty young at 28 years old, and things will almost certainly change as you get older and as women age (the amount of attention that they get from men generally goes down with the passing years, which tends to have an impact on their perspective). I would say that the most important thing right now is to set boundaries. Don't give more than you get and never give people things to get them to like you. They'll like the stuff but they won't like you, and they'll have no respect for you, and then they'll pass that word around. Again, don't be afraid to set boundaries and enforce them. If someone sees that you're giving in terms of a genuine overture for example, such as an invitation to spend time with them or inviting them to a social event, if they're a decent person that'll be received in an entirely different way. If they're not, you don't need them in your life anyway.

**Stich Jones** · 08-21-20 12:04

Originally Posted by FairFight [View Original Post]

To see other dudes type that they aren't hot or successful and still get girls.

All I wanted in life was a cute girl that loves to work out and play video games. Yet another year will go by with only rejections and it just makes me want to avoid everyone and sit in my apartment day after day knowing I tried my best and even invested financially into therapy, dating coaching, even sugar baby.

Just an old man giving a young buck some life experience advice. ALL women will use and lie in some form even when you think you have a relationship. Take time to realize this and proceed with it in mind. Obviously any female who is claiming to be a sugar baby or straight up hooker is using everyone she comes in contact with so never believe otherwise. Don't sweat your dating life as you mention. It's little difference in that world. Very few in life ever get to meet a loyal, honest person to have a relationship with. Go with how the world is, trust no know, use as you see fit and comfortable with and don't let any of the bullshit get you down. Focus on what you can control, be cautious with your money and spend it wisely and enjoy whatever path you choose to go down.

**Horsetrader** · 08-21-20 11:58

Originally Posted by FairFight [View Original Post]

To see other dudes type that they aren't hot or successful and still get girls.

All I wanted in life was a cute girl that loves to work out and play video games. Yet another year will go by with only rejections and it just makes me want to avoid everyone and sit in my apartment day after day knowing I tried my best and even invested financially into therapy, dating coaching, even sugar baby.

Rule #1 - Keep your paid sex life 100% separate from your search for a girlfriend. If a"girlfriend" asks you to pay for anything other than your dates, it is a paid relationship.

Rule #2 - There aren't enough cute girls who work out and play video games for every man who wants one.

Rule #3 - Sitting in your apartment solves none of this. Though it might be the best thing to do until COVID is resolved.

**FairFight** · 08-21-20 00:51

To see other dudes type that they aren't hot or successful and still get girls.

All I wanted in life was a cute girl that loves to work out and play video games. Yet another year will go by with only rejections and it just makes me want to avoid everyone and sit in my apartment day after day knowing I tried my best and even invested financially into therapy, dating coaching, even sugar baby.

**FairFight** · 08-21-20 00:43

Originally Posted by Barraquda22 [View Original Post]

I had typed in a LONG message about the lesson you arent getting and then deleted it. If you don't get that women you pay to fuck are point blank using you for money and would be ignoring you otherwise, then you have never had a true relationship and won't get it til you do. My wife makes more money than I do by a vast amount. Her friend that joins us for play time has never asked for more than being tied up and having her holes used. The couple of women that I see casually solo, same deal, want just some time with me and a good fuck. Its been months since I've ventured into the hobby due to an overwhelming lack of need to risk it. I have imo very sub par looks, a stereotypical college dropout job, and a bland personality at best. I'd never pay a womans bills or give her drug money with the blind hope of her maybe putting out. Thats less SB / SD and more smart hooker and naive john. Speaking from the bottom of the barrell here, have some damn self respect.

BQ22.

I'm nearly 28 years old. I have a good job, I have a good body and I'm generally a good hearted person. I've never had a relationship and I'm pretty sure I never will. Girls that don't even use drugs or fuck for money still behave the same.

I've never even been close, and if I ask guys for help. They talk about the whole alpha shit and about how I need to stop taking shit from or doing anything for girls. Yet if I go that route, they just think I'm stupid and tell me to fuck off or ignore me. It's a difficult situation. I got taken advantage of because I wanted a relationship, to finally date a girl and I've always had to prove myself by giving more than I get. My dating life is fucked.