2002-2005 Sexual Addiction Reports

[My Inspire]

Dear all,

I just to share my own feeling and hear feedback from you all here.

I used to have a gf who is very sexually active. We used to make love everytime we meet, and she loves it.

We had some great funs in all kinda of positions. I am kinda addicted to sex with her.

Now that we broke off, I'm had strong sexual desire. I couldnt control my thought of the great sex with my ex-gf.

I almost masturbate everyday and now I thought of getting some paid sex as well.

But I also aware that engaging with paid sex has risk. Any advice from the audience how to lower down the risk of STD and related diseases?

EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to add standard capitalization and punctuation. To avoid delays in future reports, please refrain from using the "chat room" style of writing with no caps or punctuation. Thanks!

[J Burb]

"EVOLUTION OF AN ADDICT"

Allow me to introduce myself,
I am an addict. Since adolecence I have suffered from a constant compulsion to obsess about and pursue a variety of questionable activities often in extreme, unhealthy, and life distracting ways. I’ve been told I must always fight such compulsions via therapy, medication, group support, ect, ect. For years I fought that battle, heeded the advice, and swallowed their pills, only to learn the one thing they could ever assure me was “I would always be an addict”, regardless of effort or behavior modification. This is when it occurred to me....

If I am destined to be an addict and it’s just part of who I am like the color of my eyes, why fight it? Why not just embrace it? Indulge it. Celebrate it! This was the pivotal realization I needed to finally gain control of it all. With full acceptance, I now gave myself the permission and freedom to choose my addictions accordingly, they no longer chose me. I would only try and limit that which was dangerous or beyond my financial means. I gradually replaced all my unhealthy vices with harmless ones and obsessively threw myself into hobbies and productive endeavors. I was happy.

Somewhere along the way I got computer savvy. I rediscovered porn, worked the personals, and found this website. With online dating I was soon averaging 3 to 4 sexually active dates per week (sometimes more), each with different women, and I had sampled countless others. Never had I gotten so much tail in my life! I occasionally even yanked in between dates to my favorite porn sites just for variety. Eventually I learned how to locate and pick up hookers and it became my preference. I'd often avoid “real dates” just so I could go hunt SW’s and pay some stranger to get me off instead. The activity persists to this day.

I am neither proud nor ashamed of all my promiscuity, it is what it is. Does it make me a sex addict? Perhaps, I’m not qualified to make such determinations. I can say however, if I am hooked, I have never had such fun harvesting an addiction and have no intention to fight it.

J Burb

[Pitching a Tent]

Found this on a website. I answered yes to almost everyone. Oh no, quess I'm hooked on the nook.

Test Yourself

Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior?

That you'd be better off if you didn't keep "giving in"?

That sex or stimuli are controlling you?

Have you ever tried to stop or limit doing what you felt was wrong in your sexual behavior?

Do you resort to sex to escape, relieve anxiety, or because you can't cope?

Do you feel guilt, remorse or depression afterward?

Has your pursuit of sex become more compulsive?

Does it interfere with relations with your spouse?

Do you have to resort to images or memories during sex?

Does an irresistible impulse arise when the other party makes the overtures or sex is offered?

Do you keep going from one "relationship" or lover to another?

Do you feel the "right relationship" would help you stop lusting, masturbating, or being so promiscuous?

Do you have a destructive need -- a desperate sexual or emotional need for someone?

Does pursuit of sex make you careless for yourself or the welfare of your family or others?

Has your effectiveness or concentration decreased as sex has become more compulsive?

Do you lose time from work for it?

Do you turn to a lower environment when pursuing sex?

Do you want to get away from the sex partner as soon as possible after the act?

Although your spouse is sexually compatible, do you still masturbate or have sex with others?

Have you ever been arrested for a sex-related offense?

SA Literature © 1982, 1984, 1989, 2001.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature.

© 1997-2003 Sexaholics Anonymous Inc.

[Plasma Spray]

What's up with marriage and sex anyhow?

Once you marry them, they now think that sex should be planned and be put on the schedule like their periods or something!

I just happen to think that it should be the exact opposite: Any place, any time, any how and like NOW!

[hoodas]

ThePerson, the poster you quoted has some great posts. It makes for some great reading. It looks like he is followed by a few folks here!

[Dickhead]

Zero posted:

"hey guys, what is the border line between healty sexual desire and sexual addition?"

[I think he means "addiction"; sexual addition I think is similar to polygamy??]

To indirectly answer your question, I offer my definition of an alcoholic: Anybody who drinks more than I do.

[ThePerson]

Dickhead that brought a tear to my eye. =)

"I just read this classic from another poster and thought I would post it to get this section rolling again:

"I will say when I first started I must have driven by 25 SWers before I picked one up. The first one I picked up was on the north side near a cheap motel on ------ [edited to preserve poster's privacy; DH] She was a beautiful, well build black lady. She smelled like an empty liquor bottle. I chickened out and she got out of the car after the price that was quoted to me was "how much you got?"

Finally a few years later I got my nerve up again. I read up on how to do it. I started out with dancers at strip clubs. My hit ratio was about one in twenty. I got better at it and it was one in five. Eventually they were just coming up and offering. Its like they knew I was ok and looking.

But they are all pretty much $100 minimum.

Now I was ready to hit the streets and had more confidence. Somedays it was like a kid in candy store. Other times it was like fishing without a worm. But like the rest of you guys, I got better at it. The women began to add up. Five, then ten, then 50 and I lost count. My confidence in my personal life got better to and I was scorning with the regular ladies. Pretty soon the regular ladies got on my nerves because they all seem to want a relationship. I enjoyed the hunt as much as the sex so its back to the streets. White, black, asian, Hispanic, American Indian - just about every kind of women except Arabic or asian-indian. 18 year olds to 53 year olds. Often twice a day. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent. Drug addicts, amatures, drunk girls too loaded to care, hitchhikers, and even financial down and outers in trouble with the courts.

That got boring so I decided to look at new angles. I went to sex addition clinics but became facinated by the eating disorder clinics. Often anorexics will use sex for an outlet for attention. Plus I like them thin. A match made in heaven.

Much of my life has been wasted, not to mention a few hundred thousand dollars. Was it worth it? You damn right!!"

[Chuponalgas]

Hey I quit drugs and drinking, can't I have one little addiction left????

[Dickhead]

1. Yes
2. Yes unless she is ugly, fat, does not give head, or is a starfish.
3. No, unless the trips out of town are less than 10 miles.
4. No, but see #3 above.
5. No

Hope that helps.

Dr. Ruth Dickhead

[Bizzie]

Is it addiction if you:

1. spend several hours a week on the internet looking at porn sites?

2. Jack off a few despite having a staedy nooky available?

3. look for pussy while out of town on business?

4. look for pussy while out of town without business?

5. make trips abroad to sample pussy from each continent?

[Dickhead]

I just read this classic from another poster and thought I would post it to get this section rolling again:

"I will say when I first started I must have driven by 25 SWers before I picked one up. The first one I picked up was on the north side near a cheap motel on ------ [edited to preserve poster's privacy; DH] She was a beautiful, well build black lady. She smelled like an empty liquor bottle. I chickened out and she got out of the car after the price that was quoted to me was "how much you got?"

Finally a few years later I got my nerve up again. I read up on how to do it. I started out with dancers at strip clubs. My hit ratio was about one in twenty. I got better at it and it was one in five. Eventually they were just coming up and offering. Its like they knew I was ok and looking.

But they are all pretty much $100 minimum.

Now I was ready to hit the streets and had more confidence. Somedays it was like a kid in candy store. Other times it was like fishing without a worm. But like the rest of you guys, I got better at it. The women began to add up. Five, then ten, then 50 and I lost count. My confidence in my personal life got better to and I was scorning with the regular ladies. Pretty soon the regular ladies got on my nerves because they all seem to want a relationship. I enjoyed the hunt as much as the sex so its back to the streets. White, black, asian, Hispanic, American Indian - just about every kind of women except Arabic or asian-indian. 18 year olds to 53 year olds. Often twice a day. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent. Drug addicts, amatures, drunk girls too loaded to care, hitchhikers, and even financial down and outers in trouble with the courts.

That got boring so I decided to look at new angles. I went to sex addition clinics but became facinated by the eating disorder clinics. Often anorexics will use sex for an outlet for attention. Plus I like them thin. A match made in heaven.

Much of my life has been wasted, not to mention a few hundred thousand dollars. Was it worth it? You damn right!!"

[Zero]

hey guys,
what is the border line between healty sexual desire and sexual addition?

[SeeksGoodTime]

WindStar,

You make an interesting point about "deserving" it. I think that is very true. It seems more women in the US are on this paced level of sexual involvment that is geared more to exerting control. This leads to that feeling of earning sex just like currency instead of a more natural response to our evolutional programming. Of course some women are more in touch with their sexuality, but we're talking in general.

I guess these are just the result of a culture still uptight. Even in the SW trade in this country it seems you have either totally high-end money makers or those that have no respect for themselves. With things being more out in the open in some of the bigger sex markets, the women can still be more of themselves and perhaps that makes it that more liberating and enjoyable for men. Whatever it is, I like it!

[WindStar]

Originally posted by SeeksGoodTime
One question that comes up to me is the concept of withdrawal. ... When I flew back into Miami, I actually had physical and psychological withdrawal. I wanted to listen to latin love songs and my insides were aching. This wasn't related to missing a particular SW in CR, but rather to knowing that the scene is no longer available. [Yeah, there are other options here in US, but the point is going from a very open sex scene to a more closed/expensive one tell the body that all the easy access to pleasure you had are now gone, if only temporarily].

Well all I can say to you, SeekingGoodTime is welcome to the Club. You've go the bug and you've got it bad.

It's all sort of like the blues. Once you get it, you got it ... The trick is to understand it. And while it may not "bust" you from the habit, it may help you a lot if all starts making sense.

One of the first things that helps be get readjusted is to realize that it's not just the sex. Nor is it a simple of matter of the "sex scene." It's really a matter of general ambience of the place. The relaxed, laid back atmosphere enables you to put all your troubles in perspective and FINALLY enjoy life as it was meant to be.

You see, down in CR you were not only having all the sex you needed, but probably more than you ever felt you deserved. That's heady stuff to be sure. But there is more to it than that, isn't there. It's really a matter also of not being made to feel as though something is wrong with you -- a classically North American malaise which, as it abates enables us all to achieve a surprising level of unparralleled self actualization.

[WindStar]

RN!!!!!!!!!!!! How are you?

Just saw some of your old post, on this, one of my favorite special interests areas.

In any even, I not long returned from South America and am bursting with tales to tell both IN and OUT of school, as it were!

I am looking foward to resuming where we left off. I've learned a few things (even at my RIPE age) about the "biz!" and would love your insight!

P.S. WOW how time flies. It looks like I've been gone for 8 months or so. I can't believe it.