2002-2005 Sexual Addiction Reports

[Civ2000]

Hey Guys, Don't get too upset over PZ's comments. He may or may not be an addict who may or may not want to quit. It's not really for us to decide. If his hobby is not causing him any angst or problems then more power to him. I may or may not agree with his latest comments, but respect his right to post them on a public forum. And who can deny that for a lot of mongers, it is simply a need or want for variety and getting off, rather than a need for companionship.

I, myself, am a sex addict. There are no if's and's or but's to the equation. My life is definately a lot less than it could be because of the addiction. It hurts me financially; affects all my relationships; in fact, virtually every aspect of my life is negatively impacted by it. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I have been unable to quit. My theory is that I just haven't wanted to quit bad enough. I still enjoy being with an eighteen-year-old girl who is pretending that I'm the coolest and hottest guy she's ever met. So, for me, in a way, it is about companionship; not with my friends, family, dog or cat, or even a S/O, but an otherwise unattainable young women to have sex with. No matter how good the sex is however, I usually find myself regretting it by the time I have my pants back on.

Having been to lot's of meetings on sexual addiction, I find that is a common thread amongst most addicts. As soon as the date is over, they find themselves angry, sad, feeling regret, etc. Those feelings soon give way to excitement as their next escapade starts to form in the back of their mind. Patrick Carnes explains it really well in his book "Out of the Shadows." If you haven't heard of the book, it is considered the foremost book on sexual addiction and should be required reading for anyone who thinks they might have a problem with the hobby.

So, for solutions, basically you have to admit you have a problem and really want to quit. If this is you, I'd get Patrick Carnes book and read it. Then I'd look for an SA or SAA meeting in my area and attend. I'd find a good sponser and have someone in the group recommend a good counselor. With the money I'd be saving on hooker's I'd start a new hobby, perhaps Hang Gliding; that's always piqued my interest. I'd spend more time hanging around with people I enjoy; family and friends. I might even start going to a liberal church. Anyway, that's my plan for the new year. Will it work? Well, statistically the odds are against me, but when you quit trying the addiction truly wins.

Happy New Year All (even you Psyberzombie). Civ2000

[Broad St Guy]

I am Sparkling Clear on the Topic of this thread , Robocock

.... I'm just not yet ready to be 'Cured' of this Addiction

»»» Capiche ??

Robocock - this douchebag goes all over the board spouting off with his unwanted comments. Just ignore his ignorance. The fact that he brags about his "diary" and makes this comment " spent $ 6160 on 68 'Dates' with 30 different women ; an average of once every 5 ½ days", is very telling about him. Not that I am in a glass house or anything, but seriously when I saw that post, I am think sheesh.

[PsyberZombie]

That's fine for you, but you must not understand the topic of this thread, or be in some serious denial.

I am Sparkling Clear on the Topic of this thread , Robocock

.... I'm just not yet ready to be 'Cured' of this Addiction

»»» Capiche ??

[Robocock]

If I want 'companionship' , I'll spend some time with my Wife ; my Friends ; my dog ; or may·be even my cats

Most of We Mongers do what we do for some Variety [ " The Spice of Life " ]
.... and to get our Rocks off

Guess I'm not quite ready yet for those Twelve Steps to Celibacy

That's fine for you, but you must not understand the topic of this thread, or be in some serious denial.

[Broad St Guy]

If I want 'companionship' , I'll spend some time with my Wife ; my Friends ; my dog ; or may·be even my cats

Most of We Mongers do what we do for some Variety [ " The Spice of Life " ]
.... and to get our Rocks off

Guess I'm not quite ready yet for those Twelve Steps to Celibacy

Lay off douchebag. You need help. Seriously. Seek it.

[PsyberZombie]

The thoughts I have been having lately after an encounter with a SW is that I did it because I am lonely. Not because I am a discusting pervert or sick-o that doesn't deserve life or freedom, just a lonely guy looking in all the wrong places for a bit of companionship.

If I want 'companionship' , I'll spend some time with my Wife ; my Friends ; my dog ; or may·be even my cats

Most of We Mongers do what we do for some Variety [ " The Spice of Life " ]
.... and to get our Rocks off

Guess I'm not quite ready yet for those Twelve Steps to Celibacy

[Gorilla69]

So, there I was, with the old lady, visiting Seattle. We were driving around Seattle proper (after a night of oh-my-god sex) and I was thinking, boy wouldn't it be nice to take a drive up 99 and see if there are any hookers out? Is that addiction or what? I still get the queasy feeling in my stomach thinking about finding a girl and getting a blow job or pounding her doggy in a sleazy motel, even when my wife is really pretty good looking, accomodating and all, though we have had long dry spells.

I have said before, that there are NO providers where I live, so the addiction is latent, but it is amazing how close to the surface it is when I am close to the drug!!

Good discussions, as usual.

[Robocock]

Thanks Bond. Must be because I actually kissed the Blarney Stone when in Ireland

[Best Tx Monger]

Robocock,

Very nice and interesting post you have there. You are defenitely a polished writer that knows how to convey their feelings into words.

-007

[Aug Rider]

Please consider my $.02. I've tried to quit and did for a few months. The more I worked (job), the more I treated myself. When the job cut back on mandatory overtime, I had more time to do other activities. Once the workload increased, I was getting off early a.m. and fell back in the same old groove. I currently stroll a little less when I get off, but it's difficult to pass by someone who gives me "the look." Didn't mean to babble, but I do feel a little better.

[Robocock]

Hey fellow Mongers,

After deleting my bookmark for this site out of remorse over the last date I had, I came back to check out a city I will be visiting (breaking down my rule), and wanted to check this thread after seeing it mentioned a few weeks ago. I am happy with what I am reading, who knows us addicts better than other addicts. I was afraid of seeing just another board full of juvenile flaming, but was pleasantly suprised. I am in the same boat as many of you, cycling between justification and wanting to stop. Occasionally I will really enjoy the hobby, and that is the hook that keeps me coming back. Hardly enough enjoyment to warrant taking the risks.

But, reading thru the posts, I don't see much in the way of a solution. A lot of really good information as far as defining the addiction and the mental states that precede a "slip". One solution recommended that probably is wack, of going on chemical castration. I think that was created for violent sexual criminals like rapists and child molesters. Which brings up a point, we beat up on ourselves pretty severely for what we do. I need to remind myself that while what I do is illegal in most of the places I hobby, I am not a sexually violent predator. I surely am enabling some people with drug/alcohol problems and don't really want to be turning these tricks, but they are not being forced by me to have sex.

As some of you can probably tell by the code words I use (subconsiously), I am involved in a certain 12 step program. So I have been looking into my addictions under a microscope for quite a while now. I also read a lot of books ane listen to a lot of self-help radio. One common thread running thru all the success stories is that the addicts, in one form or another, have been very lonely and isolated, and found a program and formed deep connections that filled the void of loneliness and the addiction lost it's grip. The common bond of escaping from the same peril is a micro society in itself. Some claim ( myself included) that a connection with a higher power has removed the mental obsession of the addiction. This connection with a higher power is also a solution to the loneliness.

As I look back on my life, I see periods of close bonds with friends and family that were relatively free of my addictions. But as I distance myself from these people for whatever reason, the addiction moves in to take it's place. I had close friends in my youth but moved away and my chemical addictions exploded. I got married and had kids and they all but disappeared. I became unhappy with my wife and disconnected, never really formed any close connections with my fellow 12 steppers, just stayed on the perimeter, and my sex addiction exploded. Thank god the chemical one is staying quiet.

The thoughts I have been having lately after an encounter with a SW is that I did it because I am lonely. Not because I am a discusting pervert or sick-o that doesn't deserve life or freedom, just a lonely guy looking in all the wrong places for a bit of companionship. It's a relatively easy quick fix. I can pick someone up, and within one minute be engaged in a very personal conversation and physical contact. The skin is the bodies largest organ, and it is very satisfying when it is rubbing on the skin of another. WEE! But, it is not genuine, hence the guilt. I could go on and on here but I have to get back to work. If anyone else relates to this I would be glad to hear about your experiences. Robocock

[PsyberZombie]

This year I kept a little diary of my Mongering activities , and here is a summary =

I spent $ 6160 on 68 'Dates' with 30 different women ; an average of once every 5 ½ days

Of that money , ninety bucks was for 'Miscellaneous Expenses' [ condoms ; buying the girl a drink ; pay phones ; etc ]

The most expensive date was $$$ , for a hottie Las Vegas 'Week·End Warrior' ; the least was .25 for a BBBJ in the car . I also had two $$ sessions with exotic dancer Hookers at our local Strip Club / Brothel

The majority of my time and money was spent with chicks on my 'ATF' List ; I had 42 Dates with those five

I saw my 'ATF·ATF' girl , Jo·Elle , 23 times [ about once every other week ] ; followed by Christine ( 7 dates ) Alicia ( 5 ) Casey / Katarina ( 4 ) and Dee·Dee ( 3 )

The most active month was February [ 8 dates ] ; and had only 4 dates in the months of Sept and Dec [ but the month isn't over yet , so these Stats may need 'tweaking' ]

Keeping the diary was kinda fun in it·self = reading over it , I got to re·live some Very Memorable Moments of this past year . Think I'll do it again for '06

Happy New Year , Peeps !!

[Soldier Boy]

Hi,

I have a serious sexual addiction problem, to SW's, and the bad part is, I'm single. How do you treat this malfunction? I'm trying to quit, but whenever I see a sexy SW, I just can't help myself, my johnson reacts and before you know it, she's in the car, bobbing on mr. happy. I guess what I'm really tryin to say is. Does anybody have any SW phone numbers? I think the only way to cure this is, to get so much of it, that you get tired of it.

Thanx Much,

SB

[Banger Hard]

Today I went to the store and when i was coming out I saw this man with his daughter. It hit me and all of a sudden I started thinking about my future. If I have a girl i got to thinking that someday, some punk will be looking at her the same way that I currently view woman.

-007

I'm already thinking about her. Can't wait!

[Best Tx Monger]

Well kids, if there was ever a time to stop your addiction. I would say that now would be a good time since the new year is coming up.

I myself will try but know that within a month I will no longer be able to take it and will unwillingly succumb to the sw's.

For some reason, I still think that I have this sport manipulated and that I can quit at any time. But as time passes by and as I get one year older, I find myself in the same hole that I did 5 yrs ago.

I want to stop but I can't

-007