Thread Starter.
Printable View
Thread Starter.
I was on staying in Pearl Harbor for about a month. On my last few days met a female military that just came from stateside. It was also her first time in Hawaii. Took her for a tour of Honolulu and Waikiki. Aftewards we proceeded to the barracks and watch TV for awhile. She went to tell me that her neck was hurting so I gave her a massage. Well she's about 5 feet, about 110 lbs with black hair. She's of asian decent so not a problem since I was also asian. Gave me a so so BBJ and did deed finishing of mish. A lot of moan but tatoos kinda gave me an impression that she not the typical quiet asian girl.
Wow talk about being lucky coz I was going back stateside with 2 days. You don't get that everyday.
Hey people whats up. I dont know where to post this topic so I just decided to put in here lol. I was wondering, if it takes a while for your posts to show? cause for me, it seems like it takes a day, and sometimes 2 days before i see it being posted on the subject. Is there anything I can do to fix that? Also what is the proper time that all of you use? Cause for me, my time is is totally different. So if anyone could help me it will greatly be appreciated. Thanks in advance
[QUOTE=Jon Doh]Hey people whats up. I dont know where to post this topic so I just decided to put in here lol. I was wondering, if it takes a while for your posts to show? cause for me, it seems like it takes a day, and sometimes 2 days before i see it being posted on the subject. Is there anything I can do to fix that? Also what is the proper time that all of you use? Cause for me, my time is is totally different. So if anyone could help me it will greatly be appreciated. Thanks in advance[/QUOTE]
Jon - Your posts are like that ecause of your "regular" status. When you reach "senior" status, it will post immediately.
[QUOTE=John Ross]Jon - Your posts are like that ecause of your "regular" status. When you reach "senior" status, it will post immediately.[/QUOTE]John,
Is there such a thing as a "senior" status? I just thought that it was funny (no offense). Also when will you know when you have reached that status? Either PM me or respond back plz. Thanks
[QUOTE=Jon Doh]John,
Is there such a thing as a "senior" status? I just thought that it was funny (no offense). Also when will you know when you have reached that status? Either PM me or respond back plz. Thanks[/QUOTE]The explanation is on the homepage in the center column. 25 or more posts and a member for 6 months or more. I just need to post more to get there.
Do not really see much interest in this and not sure where to post so I will try general.
Had a session at VG recently and if anybody has any interest, please pm me for any details.
Guys, (and Kat)
Has anyone checked out any vids/dvd from Nautica? A video store is running an ad with her picture, she looks pretty hot. Saw a small preview at a porno website.
How about Lucy Lee? Anybody got her vids/dvds? She's not really great looking, but I saw a preview too, and she can deep throat like nobody's business. The male actor was ramming her head down on his 8" and she was just smiling. BTW, she is available for hire at $1600/hr if you are in L.A. PSE!
I'm just searching for a suitable replacement to my ATF actress, Kobe Tai.
Aloha,
Turboman
[QUOTE=Turboman808]Guys, (and Kat)
Has anyone checked out any vids/dvd from Nautica? A video store is running an ad with her picture, she looks pretty hot. Saw a small preview at a porno website.
How about Lucy Lee? Anybody got her vids/dvds? She's not really great looking, but I saw a preview too, and she can deep throat like nobody's business. The male actor was ramming her head down on his 8" and she was just smiling. BTW, she is available for hire at $1600/hr if you are in L.A. PSE!
I'm just searching for a suitable replacement to my ATF actress, Kobe Tai.
Aloha,
Turboman[/QUOTE]Turboman,
Nautica Thorn hails from Ewa/Waipahu. She is definitely hot with a nice rack. She's been doing porn for several years now and has done lots of movies. (checkout [url]http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1436727/[/url]) One of my fave DVDs with her is POV 3 and My First POV. (Now why would that be???)
Not sure about Lucy Lee though but damn at $1600/hr you better get fed dinner too!!!
Nautica is definitely a suitable candidate to be on your ATF list.
Take care,
PL
[QUOTE=Pov Luva]Turboman,
Nautica Thorn hails from Ewa/Waipahu. She is definitely hot with a nice rack. She's been doing porn for several years now and has done lots of movies. (checkout [url]http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1436727/[/url]) One of my fave DVDs with her is POV 3 and My First POV. (Now why would that be???)
Not sure about Lucy Lee though but damn at $1600/hr you better get fed dinner too!!!
Nautica is definitely a suitable candidate to be on your ATF list.
Take care,
PL[/QUOTE]Howzit PL,
Thanks for the link to the Nautica DVDs. POV? Must be hot! And yeah, Lucy Lee better be hot for $1600/hour, but if I just hit the jackpot, and could get some true deepthroat action, she'd be mine! Haha!
Thanks for the info!
Turboman
Last week, I saw the Japanese movie Shoujyo at the Dole Theaters. The movie was made in 2001, and the director/producer Eiji Okuda plays the lead role. He is a 40-something year old small town cop who spends part of his time getting into the pants of lonely women. There is a brief scene in a closed beauty shop that is quite arousing. In this scene, he uses an apparently well rehearsed ploy to get into the pants of the owner of the shop. The actress in this scene, Noriko Hamada, is quite attractive.
One day, while he is off from work and in civilian clothes eating at a small restaurant, he is offered P4P sex with a young girl who appears to be in high school. That incident eventually leads to a developing relationship between the pair. After his first encounter with her, he searches all over to try to find her. Even in their small town, there are other high-school girls who are providers of some sort. He knows exactly where to look, but she isn't there. He is shocked to discover that the girl Yoko is actually only 15 years old and in Junior High School. [Thank God that the actress Mayu Ozawa was actually 18 when the movie was made--I would hate to think that I was turning into a pedophile since I think that people who abuse children in any fashion are absolutely despicable.]
Anyway, Yoko is an interesting mix of woman and child. She has certain naive perceptions of the world, but at the same time, she possesses wisdom beyond her age. She is very unselfconscious about her body when she takes a bath in the family hot tub or undresses from her sailor moon school outfit in order to wash it. There is true beauty in her innocence, and her flawless white skin is a wonder to behold. You come to understand why the circumstances of her life have forced her to approach adulthood prematurely. These factors include her family's funeral business, her mentally challenged brother, her strained relationship with her mother, and her grandfather's talent as a tattoo artist.
This movie is quite moving and satisfying to watch. You come to understand the characters in the film and understand both their strengths and their weaknesses. The main characters (the cop and the girl) succeed in developing a deep bond with each other that goes far beyond just the physical interactions that they have. You see both the frailty and vulnerability of the girl as well as her incredible inner strength. Rather than write-off the cop as a degenerate pedophile, you realize that he is a good person at heart who sincerely cares about others.
I was a bit surprised that Dole would be screening a movie like this, but I am glad they did. Shoujyo won a number of film festival prizes when it was first released. It is worth watching.
[QUOTE=Turboman808]Howzit PL,
Thanks for the link to the Nautica DVDs. POV? Must be hot! And yeah, Lucy Lee better be hot for $1600/hour, but if I just hit the jackpot, and could get some true deepthroat action, she'd be mine! Haha!
Thanks for the info!
Turboman[/QUOTE]
To me there are two classes of porn stars. Those who do anal, and those who don't. Nautica = no anal. Lucy Lee = Nasty, nasty anal.
Nautica is pretty for sure, but beauty can only take you so far in porn. At some point, you gotta open the gates to the Hershey Highway.
I do not see much about girls that will dfk. Anyone out there know a good provider that will give you a lot of good dfk?
What service do you expect to get when a girl offers girl friend experience (gfe)? Dfk, bbbj, etc?
[QUOTE=Hilo Boy]What service do you expect to get when a girl offers girl friend experience (gfe)? Dfk, bbbj, etc?[/QUOTE]A lot of nagging, bitching and complaining. Then rolls over and goes to sleep.
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
[QUOTE=Hilo Boy]What service do you expect to get when a girl offers girl friend experience (gfe)? Dfk, bbbj, etc?[/QUOTE]
I would expect something closer, if not the actual things that you would get with a g/f. What girlfriends do spans a wide range, depending on the girl, so it's the same with providers. I wouldn't expect a specific package of bbbj, dfk, or whatever. But, if an RA is advertised as GFE, then she definitely better not be mechanical and completely uninterested, trying to get me out in record time! GFE service has to have some resemblance her actually giving a crap about you having a good time.
[QUOTE=Sukebe1]A lot of nagging, bitching and complaining. Then rolls over and goes to sleep.
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.[/QUOTE]NO, NO, NO! That's a WE -- Wifey Experience!
[QUOTE=Shortshooter]NO, NO, NO! That's a WE -- Wifey Experience![/QUOTE]LOL! You're starting to sound like a friend of mine.
Hey,
My wife and I have decided to see an escort together. We have limited experience doing this a few times several years back. I would like her to be as comfortable as possible and wondering if anyone can recommend someone for us? The important thing is that my wife has a pleasing and erotic experience. I could just have limited participation or even just watch.
Do you need a male escort or a female escort? If you need a male, you should be able to get some cheap volunteers here.
[QUOTE=Hilo Boy]Hey,
My wife and I have decided to see an escort together. We have limited experience doing this a few times several years back. I would like her to be as comfortable as possible and wondering if anyone can recommend someone for us? The important thing is that my wife has a pleasing and erotic experience. I could just have limited participation or even just watch.[/QUOTE]If your wife does anal, I'll volunteer while you watch. Got pics?
We are looking for a female escort.
Wondering if anybody has tried Tantra and what is different about that vs a standard escort?
Has anyone tried a reliable online seller of Viagra or a similar product? Its expensive as hell and the samples ran out...
[QUOTE=Magnod]Has anyone tried a reliable online seller of Viagra or a similar product? Its expensive as hell and the samples ran out...[/QUOTE]
I ordered from a company about 4 years ago and it was cheaper than a physical pharmacy. BUT, they are very agressive in getting you to refill and flood your email inbox for requests. Then if you do not respond they outsource the phone calls to some call center with Indians from India. I always tell them NO, but they keep calling even though I ask for a supervisor and take me off their call list. I resorted to foul language, it worked for awhile BUT they got short memories.
Sorry to rant but I had a good initial ordering experience then it went downhill. I shoulda put a fake phone number in the required field of the online form.
Sam's price is about $9 - 10 a pill. I think Cialis is good, gives you a 36 hour window of performance!
There are two types of women that are seen most in the AMPs: White and Korean. During the years that I've have been mongering, I've had both in good amounts. Matter of fact, my first experience was with a white provider and she wasn't too bad. I would be serviced by her many times afterward at may different places none of which are in business anymore.
One, korean, constitently provides good service and the other, white consistently bad. I used wonder why and I've been able to figure it out. The white provider is most likely a former street walker or one who splits her time between the inside and the outside. Unfortunately, she brings her outside attitude inside to the AMP. The many rules, uninspiring service and lack of personality are all a part of that SW attitude. The Korean provider is more likely to be an AMP only provider. She doesn't streetwalk. That would explain why a korean provider is available at most any time of the day. The white provider more often than not has a pimp. And that would explain why they aske for more than the standard fee. The exact opposite is true for the Korean provider. As a matter of fact she may find the idea of having a pimp foolish. After all, one would only require "management" when working the streets. When I would see the White provider, she would always ask me for $50-$100 more than the standard fee. But the service wasn't any better than standard. One day I figured it out: the White provider has to pay two people; the mama and the pimp. The Korean provider has also has two people to pay; the mama and herself. No pimp.
I have a tremendous respect for the Korean provider, because they are very savvy women and a good number of them leave the business after a good five years of working on their back because, they open their own place, get married, become mama's in someone else's place, or graduate from college. The White provider is a fool and gives all her money to some slack ass pimp. After years on her back, she becomes a fat, broke drunk with a crack or coke habit.
So the next time your out fellas, raise a glass to the Korean provider because without them, society would be in chaos. And after a conversation I had with one at VIP; they know this.
[QUOTE=Kaneohe33]There are two types of women that are seen most in the AMPs: White and Korean. During the years that I've have been mongering, I've had both in good amounts. Matter of fact, my first experience was with a white provider and she wasn't too bad. I would be serviced by her many times afterward at may different places none of which are in business anymore.
One, korean, constitently provides good service and the other, white consistently bad. I used wonder why and I've been able to figure it out. The white provider is most likely a former street walker or one who splits her time between the inside and the outside. Unfortunately, she brings her outside attitude inside to the AMP. The many rules, uninspiring service and lack of personality are all a part of that SW attitude. The Korean provider is more likely to be an AMP only provider. She doesn't streetwalk. That would explain why a korean provider is available at most any time of the day. The white provider more often than not has a pimp. And that would explain why they aske for more than the standard fee. The exact opposite is true for the Korean provider. As a matter of fact she may find the idea of having a pimp foolish. After all, one would only require "management" when working the streets. When I would see the White provider, she would always ask me for $50-$100 more than the standard fee. But the service wasn't any better than standard. One day I figured it out: the White provider has to pay two people; the mama and the pimp. The Korean provider has also has two people to pay; the mama and herself. No pimp.
I have a tremendous respect for the Korean provider, because they are very savvy women and a good number of them leave the business after a good five years of working on their back because, they open their own place, get married, become mama's in someone else's place, or graduate from college. The White provider is a fool and gives all her money to some slack ass pimp. After years on her back, she becomes a fat, broke drunk with a crack or coke habit.
So the next time your out fellas, raise a glass to the Korean provider because without them, society would be in chaos. And after a conversation I had with one at VIP; they know this.[/QUOTE]Wow awesome theory!
Kaneohe 33, who did you talk to at VIP?
[QUOTE=Kaneohe33]There are two types of women that are seen most in the AMPs: White and Korean. During the years that I've have been mongering, I've had both in good amounts. Matter of fact, my first experience was with a white provider and she wasn't too bad. I would be serviced by her many times afterward at may different places none of which are in business anymore.
One, korean, constitently provides good service and the other, white consistently bad. I used wonder why and I've been able to figure it out. The white provider is most likely a former street walker or one who splits her time between the inside and the outside. Unfortunately, she brings her outside attitude inside to the AMP. The many rules, uninspiring service and lack of personality are all a part of that SW attitude. The Korean provider is more likely to be an AMP only provider. She doesn't streetwalk. That would explain why a korean provider is available at most any time of the day. The white provider more often than not has a pimp. And that would explain why they aske for more than the standard fee. The exact opposite is true for the Korean provider. As a matter of fact she may find the idea of having a pimp foolish. After all, one would only require "management" when working the streets. When I would see the White provider, she would always ask me for $50-$100 more than the standard fee. But the service wasn't any better than standard. One day I figured it out: the White provider has to pay two people; the mama and the pimp. The Korean provider has also has two people to pay; the mama and herself. No pimp.
I have a tremendous respect for the Korean provider, because they are very savvy women and a good number of them leave the business after a good five years of working on their back because, they open their own place, get married, become mama's in someone else's place, or graduate from college. The White provider is a fool and gives all her money to some slack ass pimp. After years on her back, she becomes a fat, broke drunk with a crack or coke habit.
So the next time your out fellas, raise a glass to the Korean provider because without them, society would be in chaos. And after a conversation I had with one at VIP; they know this.[/QUOTE]
I would just add it also has to do with the sexual cultures of the two. American SW's fuck in the back seat of vehicles and want the happy ending to get over as quickly as possible. With yobo's, its a more pleasureable experience that leads to a happy ending, this includes the ts, massage, turnover, sucky sucky, then the finish and massage afterward. WSW are not accustomed to providing this treatment to their clients.
[QUOTE=Old Geezer II]Kaneohe 33, who did you talk to at VIP?[/QUOTE]Her name is Leea or Leena. Something like that. She is Korean however, her facial features could easily lead one to believe that she is Korean/Haole. I went to see her early in the morning before work and after the sex we had a very informative conversation. I wish I had a video camera. The conversation was more interesting than the sex. And the sex was quite nice.
[QUOTE=Kaneohe33]There are two types of women that are seen most in the AMPs: White and Korean. During the years that I've have been mongering, I've had both in good amounts. Matter of fact, my first experience was with a white provider and she wasn't too bad. I would be serviced by her many times afterward at may different places none of which are in business anymore.
One, korean, constitently provides good service and the other, white consistently bad. I used wonder why and I've been able to figure it out. The white provider is most likely a former street walker or one who splits her time between the inside and the outside. Unfortunately, she brings her outside attitude inside to the AMP. The many rules, uninspiring service and lack of personality are all a part of that SW attitude. The Korean provider is more likely to be an AMP only provider. She doesn't streetwalk. That would explain why a korean provider is available at most any time of the day. The white provider more often than not has a pimp. And that would explain why they aske for more than the standard fee. The exact opposite is true for the Korean provider. As a matter of fact she may find the idea of having a pimp foolish. After all, one would only require "management" when working the streets. When I would see the White provider, she would always ask me for $50-$100 more than the standard fee. But the service wasn't any better than standard. One day I figured it out: the White provider has to pay two people; the mama and the pimp. The Korean provider has also has two people to pay; the mama and herself. No pimp.
I have a tremendous respect for the Korean provider, because they are very savvy women and a good number of them leave the business after a good five years of working on their back because, they open their own place, get married, become mama's in someone else's place, or graduate from college. The White provider is a fool and gives all her money to some slack ass pimp. After years on her back, she becomes a fat, broke drunk with a crack or coke habit.
So the next time your out fellas, raise a glass to the Korean provider because without them, society would be in chaos. And after a conversation I had with one at VIP; they know this.[/QUOTE]
I would have to agree that the Korean providers are in another league when compared to the white ones. In my experience they are also consistently superior to Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino, and other Asian providers in looks, attitude and service. Korean providers are #1 in my book.
[QUOTE=Kagetora]I would have to agree that the Korean providers are in another league when compared to the white ones. In my experience they are also consistently superior to Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino, and other Asian providers in looks, attitude and service. Korean providers are #1 in my book.[/QUOTE]
I've found that in both AMPs and K/VBs that Vietnamese are the horniest/nastiest.
[QUOTE=JohnDoughnut]I've found that in both AMPs and K/VBs that Vietnamese are the horniest/nastiest.[/QUOTE]
You also left out expensive.
[QUOTE=Jack Mehoff]You also left out expensive.[/QUOTE]
Hmmm... I really don't think so. Especially in AMPs where the price is a constant (sort of). In the bars, you pay the same amount too; between $$ or $$$. And, with K-girls, play ain't guaranteed.
[QUOTE=JohnDoughnut]Hmmm... I really don't think so. Especially in AMPs where the price is a constant (sort of). In the bars, you pay the same amount too; between $$ or $$$. And, with K-girls, play ain't guaranteed.[/QUOTE]Prices in the kb's and vb's vary greatly depending on what you want. You could end up spending $$$$$ for very little, it is a crapshoot on whether you will get as good service at a kb/vb (except for secret) than at a mp. at least at a mp you are pretty much guaranteed finishing. IMHO, in my experiences at the kb and vb's some pull the more money crap, when you are hot and busy some of them ask for more $$, at the time you are so worked up that it is hard to say no and if you do then the whole mood changes.
BTW, at most of the vb's the standard room rate is now $$$, and that may not even including any services. Stick to MP's if you want to be sure you get serviced.
Someone emailed me this story [url]www.sexwork.com/whatisnew/TERSHUTDOWN.html[/url]
I heard the TBD stories before but not the TER accounts. That's why we mongers need to post good and bad reports.
I did this some time ago, but kept forgetting to post it. And I'm still stumped over what to put down for when an ad in Hawai'i says "Hawaiian," suggestions on that one welcome. Anyhow, here's my version.
==
To reduce the confusion for novice readers, here's HornyHaole's version of the Pessimist's Guide to decoding escort ads:
WEIGHT:
BBW = fat
Voluptuous = fat
Volumptuous = fat and can't spell
Curvy = fat
Curvaceous = fat
Thick = fat
Rubenesque = fat
Buxom = fat
Busty = fat
Busty = fat
Bootylicious = fat
Womanly = fat
Hourglass = fat
Full-figured = really fat
Down to earth = fat, and totally given up on being pretty
PHAT = FAT, and that's not an acronym
Apple or onion bottom = fat (like giving it a food term makes her sexy?)
Pic of face only? = fat
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat
Gives bra size only? = fat
Naturally busty/All natural = fat and saggy
Real woman = fat, old, saggy, ugly, and hates men
BUST:
Slim = no boobs
Svelte = no boobs
Slender = no boobs
Dancer's body = no boobs
Runner = no boobs
Spinner = no boobs
Petite = no boobs
Bombshell = fake boobs
Baywatch = fake boobs
Playboy = fake boobs
Model = fake boobs
Firm = hardened fake boobs
BLACKNESS:
(This next section doesn't mean black girls aren't hot – they are, and me likee. These are just terms that black girls and their pimps use to fancy it up.)
Bi-racial = black
Brazilian = black
Caramel = black
Chocolate = black
Coffee = black
Creole = black
Cuban = black
Ebony = black
Egyptian = black
Ethiopian = black
Exotic = black
Jamaican = black
Mocha = black
Mulatto = black
Nubian = black
Mixed = black
Island girl = black (except in Hawai`i)
Café-au-lait = black and pretentious
Diva = black and old
Dominican = black, except in NYC and FLA, then latina
Hawaiian = black, except in HI, then it's ____ (suggestions welcome)
Light-skinned/complected = black
Dark-skinned/complected = really black
Named after a drink = black
Named after a fruit = black
Named after a gemstone = black
Named after a car = black
Anything else and black = black
ASIANS:
Japanese = from somewhere in asia, no boobs
Chinese = from somewhere in asia
Korean = from somewhere in asia, and old
ELDERLY:
Mature = old
Courtesan = old and overpriced
Gracious = old
Refined = old
Elegant = old
Classy = old
Classic = old
Sophisticated = old
Lady = old
Goddess = old, fat, homely, hippie
MILF = old with stretchmarks, cellulite, and scars
Named after a weather phenomenon = old white trash
Has a last name = old, but is proud she made her own Web site
PUNKS:
Alternative = fat, poor hygiene, went to Lollapalooza once
Goth = old, fat, black clothing, piercings, tats, smells of cloves
Punk = LOTS of tats, chewed fingernails, Marlboros, hairy, unshowered, druggie
Suicide girl = younger and fatter Goth
AGE:
Generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20s
Just turned 18 = mid 20s
19 = possible jailbait
21 = late 20s
28 = late 30s
30 = 40s
OTHER BS:
Intelligent = fat and nearsighted
Sorority girl = bleached blonde, bad attitude
Red head = never seen the sun
Selective = overpriced
Exclusive = very overpriced
Freaky = ad written by black or wannabe-black pimp
Nasty = ad written by black pimp, girl hasn't seen ad
Upscale = upseller
All American = white trash
Classy = I have an attitude problem
Cali(fornia) girl = I have an attitude problem, and I'm overpriced
Princess = I have an attitude problem, and don't touch me
T-girl = a man with a mutilated penis
Naughty = I'll only be taking off my top
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs
Kinky = she fucks your ass with a strap-on
Fetish = same as Kinky, but she'll piss on you after
Great ass = "great" is another word for "large"
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service
Coed = I once gangbanged a frat
Girl next door = I dress like a boy
Girlfriend experience (GFE) = if your girlfriend was a stone *****
Pornstar experience (PSE) = fake moaning
Energetic = from spazzy to methamphetamine addict
College graduate = high school dropout
Open minded = her clients like to wear diapers
Two girl show = a "show" is something you watch, not participate in
Touch of class = she's saving up for a tramp stamp, extensions and implants
420 friendly = you better have some weed
Snow bunny = you better have some weed and coke
I'm sexy = I dress like the ***** I am, but only when partying with my pimp
Out-going = I'll pester you if I'm broke,or if you cancel a date
Friendly = with Ben Franklin
Too good to be true = finally, truth in advertising
Everything included = no kissing, everything covered
Special rate = what I normally charge
Real pics = from 3-20 years ago
Up to an hour = one shot and she's gone
Discreet = targeting married guys
Discrete = I can't spell
Advance notice required = you'll never get hold of me
Professional = seeks middle-management suckers
Seeks generous gentleman = seeks drunk suckers
Seeks generous businessmen = seeks drunk suckers on expense accounts
Once in a lifetime experience = waaaay overpriced
I love what I do = to myself, in private, with my vibrator
You won't be sorry = I'm homely and desperate for money
Satisfaction guaranteed = my pimp has a gun
You won't be disappointed = handjobs only, and did I mention my pimp's gun?
Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type
aD wRiTtEn iN mIxEd cAsE = my pimp is a high school dropout
$$$$AD ABUSES DOLLAR SIGNS$$$$ = my pimp needs more bling
Ad write is brokened English = asian massage sweatshop
"Tired of fakes?" = well, I'm another one
"____" is available = "____"costs double
Starting at $X = multiply $X by two
No explicit questions/Discuss details later = I'm an ex-con
No blocked calls = my last pimp is stalking me
Luxurious incall = studio apartment with mattress on floor
Outcall only = lives with pimp
Massage = no sex or touching me
CMT = certified boring, and no sex
FBSM = strip club air dance
Tantra = no sex, but she rubs smelly oil on your back
I'm so horny = I'm so broke
Bodywork = handjob
Blow you away = standard covered blowjob
Former dancer = "Hooters" fired me
Steady arrangement = you pay extra the first time, and the second, and the third …
Text me at … = phisher
See my pics/profile at … = phisher/spammer
Donations = are fixed, mandatory, and non-refundable
New to business = changed name
New to area = changed name and moved across town
Visiting = wants $50-300 more than local girls, has crappy attitude
Only here for a few days = see Visiting, is also homely
What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information. If the following points aren't specified, you can assume:
hair color = brown
hair length = to shoulder
eye color = brown
age = old
height = extra short or extra tall
weight = fat
cup size = small
measurements = mediocre
no smile in any picture = lousy attitude
[QUOTE=Hornyhaole]I did this some time ago, but kept forgetting to post it. And I'm still stumped over what to put down for when an ad in Hawai'i says "Hawaiian," suggestions on that one welcome. Anyhow, here's my version... [/QUOTE]
lol. true...
[QUOTE=Hornyhaole]
To reduce the confusion for novice readers, here's HornyHaole's version of the Pessimist's Guide to decoding escort ads [/QUOTE]
Very funny! :)
[QUOTE=Magnod]Has anyone tried a reliable online seller of Viagra or a similar product? Its expensive as hell and the samples ran out...[/QUOTE] Check out the male sexual stimulants available at General Nutrition Center (GNC). They are not only less expensive but also have demonstrated to generate similar results. I've used several and one that works great for me is called Stamina Rx. If you do try it out, then take two pills on an empty stomach with a glass of water before any physical activity. YMMV.
[QUOTE=Hilo Boy]We are looking for a female escort.
Wondering if anybody has tried Tantra and what is different about that vs a standard escort?[/QUOTE] A former steady girlfriend of mine was into Tantra. Real Tantra practise involves no touching, but rather learning how to stimulate, manage, and control your inner sexual energy. You essentially will learn how to use the breathing technique and improve your ability to control orgasms. There is a variety of information available on the internet. Tantra involves no physical contact although several providers have violated this practise and end the session with a happy ending. A standard escort usually will not have invested in learning Tantra. If an escort does offer the service, then a legitimate Tantra practitioner will actually expect a much larger donation and have a designated private location setup for Tantra practise. I hope this helps.