Post your laughs, jokes, best laughable experiences here. No fighting allowed or I will delete. Keep it funny under the USA rules.
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Post your laughs, jokes, best laughable experiences here. No fighting allowed or I will delete. Keep it funny under the USA rules.
One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores. ".
A little pissed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig.
When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy. His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!
Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?
Guy sits down on a bench next to a woman. Guy asks girl. Do you believe in the hereafter, woman said yes I do. Guy said. You know what I'm hereafter.
A panda picks up a SW and parks in a discreet location. The panda looks at the girl and immediately goes down on her voraciously. The lady has an amazing screaming orgasm when the panda opens the woman's door and starts to push her out of it. She protests, "Wait a minute, you haven't paid me yet! I'm a prostitute. The dictionary says 'has sex for money'. ". The panda replies, "Well, I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. The dictionary says, 'eats Bush and leaves'. ".
A buddy of mine heard a bartender tell this to a girl that was flirting with him at the bar. The bartender said, "What's the best part about women using these two fingers to masturbate?" and he held up his middle and ring fingers. Before she could think up an answer, he emphatically said. "They're MINE!
We are all loyal infantrymen for dear old George and we pass a lot of dollars to our cause.
Come get this thick stallion.
I'll leave you wanting more!
I can't do anything because of a medical condition.
My name is Steve.
Rented, and with some grease on the bottom.
I thought this was a good one. There are some funny stories in this hobby. On a slow week like this I remember all those funny times.
If anybody has more jokes place them here. I can provide a few good jokes privately on who to avoid in your pursuit of the game.
I call it My Sex, Lies, and Videotape joke! Lol
[QUOTE=KaintuckMan;3130279]If anybody has more jokes place them here. I can provide a few good jokes privately on who to avoid in your pursuit of the game.
I call it My Sex, Lies, and Videotape joke! Lol[/QUOTE]Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Alabama?
A: I-65, I-20 and I-10.
[QUOTE=KaintuckMan;3130279]If anybody has more jokes place them here. I can provide a few good jokes privately on who to avoid in your pursuit of the game.
I call it My Sex, Lies, and Videotape joke! Lol[/QUOTE]A man fell in love with the girl of his dreams. They were perfect for each other, except for one minor problem: She was a Alabama fan and he was a Kentucky fan. He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a Alabama fan.
He went to the doctor and asked if there was an easy way to do this. The doctor replied, "Yes, it's a very simple procedure. What we do is go in and remove half your brain. When you wake up, you will be a Alabama fan".
The man agrees, and the next week goes into surgery. After he wakes up the doctor comes up to him concerned. "Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the scalpel. Instead of removing half your brain we removed 3/4 of it. How do you feel?
The man sat up, looked around, and said "GO CARDS".
[QUOTE=KaintuckMan;3130279]If anybody has more jokes place them here. I can provide a few good jokes privately on who to avoid in your pursuit of the game.
I call it My Sex, Lies, and Videotape joke! Lol[/QUOTE]Q: What's the difference between a Alabama Girl and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker and the other is a fish.
[QUOTE=MojoGuy;3130331]Q: What's the difference between a Alabama Girl and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker and the other is a fish.[/QUOTE]You just made my day with that one! Lmao.
I never understood why she was so tired all the time!
LYING.
Must be exhausting even for someone who does it on a regular basis. Must be a ms phenomenal thing.