STG Gypsy. Yup, waste of time.
So, ad already seems to be gone, but I found an older version:
[URL]http://orlando.skipthegames.com/female-escorts/caucasian_w/upscale-new-tatted-gypsy-queen/233176446845[/URL]
Ok yeah. Obviously looks Too Good To Be True, but I figured with those tattoos, it would be hard to pull a bait and switch {Spoiler: Not that hard}.
T minus 5 hours: Me: Saw your ad online would like to make an appointment. Would you be available for a one hour incall at {TIME}?
T minus 4:50:00: Her: Sure! Hour is $180, I am at {I Drive incall}.
{Wow. Fast to respond, no prying for info. No games about location. Shit, maybe this will work!{Spoiler: It didn't}}.
Me: Fantastic. I'll text you before I head out. Will be around {T minus 60:00}.
Her: Sounds great!
T minus 60:00: Me: Hitting the ATM then hitting the road. We still on for {TIME}?
T minus 55:00: Her: Yes. Let me know when you get here.
{Shit. Professional, courteous. This will make a great positive review! {Spoiler: It won't}}.
T minus 20:00: Her: Sorry, I gave you the wrong rate. An hour is $200. Will that still work?
{Nice move. Wait for me to be on the road, then hike the rate. Classy. }.
Me: Sure, we can make that work.
T minus 10:00: Me: I am here. Where to next?
T minus 5:00: Her: Just got out of the shower. Need a minute.
{Here we go}.
Her: My room is #.
{So, you need time, or I should head to your room?
Her: Just come up in like three minutes.
{oh. Ok}.
TIME: Knocking on #.
SILENCE.
T plus 1:00: Knocking on #.
SILENCE.
{GODDAMNIT, are you kidding me?
T plus 2:00: Me: Room #, right? Knocked twice. No answer.
Her: I am here. Need a minute.
T plus 5:00: Her: Oh shit it's room #-1.
{REALLY?
SIMULTANEOUSLY: Young lady in a bathrobe appears around the corner. Oh hey, it's you! I have seen you before. She Is in there, but she is really scared.
{Yes, I did see this girl, but could not recall her name. Yikes. Let's call her Erika. }.
She invites me into room #-1 while claiming to text Gypsy to assure her I am cool.
Erika: Sorry, she is freaking out. I don't know what is wrong wth her. Would you like to see me? Or. . .
Me: No, thanks.
So what the MUTHER-FUCK? I suppose there is an actual possibility that Gypsy is indeed real and was actually so anxious she couldn't go through with it. But my suspicion is this was the most elaborate bait and switch I have ever been a part of:
- Put up an add with a tattooed cutie as bait.
- Set up appointments.
- Cutie gets panic attack and can't fulfill the appointment.
- Erika swoops in and graciously does the deed.
I swear, this shit CANNOT be this hard.