Who Do You Decide to Help and How Much?

[Member #3991]

I started mongering about a 1 and 1/2 years ago. Thanks to the Internet, RTFF's, and a bit of help I have become largely self-sufficient. I really don't PM too much for specific info. I can only think of a couple of times when I did this to BMalibu and CashValue when I was first getting started. Thanks to both of you!

Now with a bit of time under my belt, I get way more PM's looking for help. It seems that every provider-based post results in at least a couple of PM's. I believe in creating good Karma and I don't mind helping out but I wonder what rules you all have to providing help?

My own rules are look whether or not someone is actually contributing information about providers or organizations even when they are just getting started. I must confess to not feeling sympathetic to long term members with few, non descript posts. I also look to see if they have RTFF. This is tougher to judge as some people aren't as good in picking up clues.

Just curious to know what others think on the subject - especially our more senior members. I am curious to know what rules you use to answer someone and how detailed of information you are willing to give out. Thanks

[Marlowe]

I started mongering about a 1 and 1/2 years ago. Thanks to the Internet, RTFF's, and a bit of help I have become largely self-sufficient. I really don't PM too much for specific info. I can only think of a couple of times when I did this to BMalibu and CashValue when I was first getting started. Thanks to both of you!

Now with a bit of time under my belt, I get way more PM's looking for help. It seems that every provider-based post results in at least a couple of PM's. I believe in creating good Karma and I don't mind helping out but I wonder what rules you all have to providing help?

My own rules are look whether or not someone is actually contributing information about providers or organizations even when they are just getting started. I must confess to not feeling sympathetic to long term members with few, non descript posts. I also look to see if they have RTFF. This is tougher to judge as some people aren't as good in picking up clues.

Just curious to know what others think on the subject - especially our more senior members. I am curious to know what rules you use to answer someone and how detailed of information you are willing to give out. Thanks

I restrict sharing my info to qualified senior members only, ones whose posts I have read and whose names I recognize. This is to protect both me, and the girls whose info I am passing on, because LE is always lurking.

[Lift Her Up]

As the most junior of senior members, not really feeling like I deserve the title "Senior Member," I agree with the two posts below. It is irritating to get requests from members with few if any posts, devoid of content. otoh if an out-of-towner with contributions elsewhere needs guidance, or a member who's made significant contributions wants info beyond my vague indications, that's wonderful. I have myself been really helped out by Dripper and by B Malibu, who have improved my life.

--Lift Her Up

[B Malibu]

I'm all about giving a newb a chance, but certainly not one who begs, whines, or claims he's on other sites. I've always been fairly generous with 411, but I ALWAYS check an inquiring mind's post history, and not necessarily just the count. Someone who has 10 posts, but asks a question in every post gets a "no response" from me. With all the heat nowadays, I usually only share with Seniors and people I already know. It feels good to take a newb under your wing and then receive gratitude once he's been christened, but my ego for that shit is gone now - gotta protect ourselves and the ladies. PERIOD! I've given a lot and now it's simply my turn to be selfish. Hehehe...

I don't mind simple questions though, like for example... a guy PM'd me today and stated he just moved to OC and wanted to know what CG's stood for. I had no problem telling him what it meant. Now, if he had said that he had just moved to OC and wanted to know a good place to go, I'd tell him to go pick up an OC Weekly and make a day of it.

[Member #3991]

Thanks to all that have posted. It looks like my strategy is pretty much in sync with others thoughts.

[Golfcart]

This thread focuses on providing newbies with help and advice in answering specific questions. I'm happy to help anyone, but I prefer to suggest a process to follow rather than an answer to a specific question. I want the reader to become smarter so he can help himself with his current problem and in the larger context when he encounters other problems in the future.

A gent came to the board the other day with a problem he encountered. He had a SW in his car and noticed money missing. He handled it at the time and came to the board for suggestions of other things he might have done instead.

I thought the larger question was what we should do anytime something happens that is off-script and we are presented with a surprise.

What follows is his edited question and my response:
http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=1014537&postcount=5

And his reply:
http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=1015145&postcount=9

[Member #3991]

... but I prefer to suggest a process to follow rather than an answer to a specific question. I want the reader to become smarter so he can help himself with his current problem and in the larger context when he encounters other problems in the future...

This is good advice and adheres to the old adage -

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”—Author unknown

Who knows, they might even bring back fresh tuna for the community at large!