Big White
09-05-05, 21:38
Saw Fantasia perform very recently. Rather than playing at a large venue, her performance took place at a more intimate venue; that of a non-descript, cracker-box shaped house in Jessup. I usually try not to venture too far from the city, but found a great deal on Craigslist for a front-row ticket at $. Even factoring in the cost of gas for the trip up 95 towards Charm City, I thought it a reasonable price at the time to see an American Idol. Here’s how the dream went:
Ryan: Fantasia, you’ve performed for many people as you post constantly on Craigslist. What are you going to perform tonight?
Fantasia: Well, Ryan, I thought I would start with a BBBJ to get the crowd rising, followed by DATY, some DFK, and then missionary and doggie to mish.
45 minutes later:
Ryan: Let’s see what the judges have to say.
Randy: Yo Yo, What’s Up Dawg! Fantasia, I thought you were a little pitchy. I mean, from the start of and throughout the performance, the only thing (not even words) that came out of your mouth were soft “ummm” “ummmm”- almost grunt like sounds. You’ve got to express yourself more, girl. And another thing, your eyes were closed the entire time you performed. What’s up with that? I got the impression that you were just going through the motions. You’ll have to step it up a notch if you are going to stay in this competition.
Paula: Fantasia, I am sorry, but I have to agree with Randy. It was an average performance. I liked that the room was relaxing and you took the time to light a candle. But the entrance was awkward, which seemed to carry throughout the performance. On the phone, arranging the performance, you seemed very out of it - almost high or drunk. This does contrast, however, with your conversation at the end in which you seemed somewhat coherent. Also, the “bring your own condom” business seemed a little tacky.
However, I also liked the cuddling and DFK for about 10 minutes of the performance, and you made a great recovery when your wig came off. I like the natural look, anyway.
Simon: Fantasia, I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it. To put it simply, you’re just not good enough (for me), as I prefer more of a GFE. The performance was lacking, from the trance-like state of yours, to the Simpson’s playing on the TV in the background. Your picture also seemed a little misleading. While the “from the back” picture is definitely you, the face shot appears to be someone else - more exotic looking than what I saw today.
Guest Judge, Big White: Baby, I agree with what the judges have to say. It was an ok performance, and even good considering the price of admission. In the end, I was satisfied, and would return again only at the same price. The next time, maybe we can kick it together with Storm. She looked really cute, despite the advanced pregnancy. Also, that meal on the table looked great. I’d like a ticket that includes a good, home-cooked meal with you and Storm next time. As it was, I was left with stopping at the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts (mmmm Donuts - Homer must have invaded my subconscious during the performance).
BIG WHITE - OUT!
Ryan: Fantasia, you’ve performed for many people as you post constantly on Craigslist. What are you going to perform tonight?
Fantasia: Well, Ryan, I thought I would start with a BBBJ to get the crowd rising, followed by DATY, some DFK, and then missionary and doggie to mish.
45 minutes later:
Ryan: Let’s see what the judges have to say.
Randy: Yo Yo, What’s Up Dawg! Fantasia, I thought you were a little pitchy. I mean, from the start of and throughout the performance, the only thing (not even words) that came out of your mouth were soft “ummm” “ummmm”- almost grunt like sounds. You’ve got to express yourself more, girl. And another thing, your eyes were closed the entire time you performed. What’s up with that? I got the impression that you were just going through the motions. You’ll have to step it up a notch if you are going to stay in this competition.
Paula: Fantasia, I am sorry, but I have to agree with Randy. It was an average performance. I liked that the room was relaxing and you took the time to light a candle. But the entrance was awkward, which seemed to carry throughout the performance. On the phone, arranging the performance, you seemed very out of it - almost high or drunk. This does contrast, however, with your conversation at the end in which you seemed somewhat coherent. Also, the “bring your own condom” business seemed a little tacky.
However, I also liked the cuddling and DFK for about 10 minutes of the performance, and you made a great recovery when your wig came off. I like the natural look, anyway.
Simon: Fantasia, I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it. To put it simply, you’re just not good enough (for me), as I prefer more of a GFE. The performance was lacking, from the trance-like state of yours, to the Simpson’s playing on the TV in the background. Your picture also seemed a little misleading. While the “from the back” picture is definitely you, the face shot appears to be someone else - more exotic looking than what I saw today.
Guest Judge, Big White: Baby, I agree with what the judges have to say. It was an ok performance, and even good considering the price of admission. In the end, I was satisfied, and would return again only at the same price. The next time, maybe we can kick it together with Storm. She looked really cute, despite the advanced pregnancy. Also, that meal on the table looked great. I’d like a ticket that includes a good, home-cooked meal with you and Storm next time. As it was, I was left with stopping at the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts (mmmm Donuts - Homer must have invaded my subconscious during the performance).
BIG WHITE - OUT!