View Full Version : Humor: Just for laughs
MilfMan865
08-18-16, 06:42
Many of the members of this board force me to spit out my beverage of choice while laughing so hard. This thread is dedicated to all things humor: hilarious stories, funny memes, jokes, or whatever else you choose to share that may be amusing. Keep the laughs coming.
MilfMan865
08-18-16, 06:45
This may be one test, of many or maybe none, in your toolkit.
I had just turned 21. In this club and met this very pretty |Lady| - she was about 40. Man, I thought she was ancient! But she got real friendly & tells me her fantasy is to have a mom/daughter thing, just once.
Now I'm thinking: "wow -- this lady is a real babe, bet her daughter is just absolutely smokin' hot!!"
So -of course- I can't wait to go home with her.
Once there, I'm so ready I'm a walking pogo stick. Then Lady opens the door, turns on the lights, and very loudly yells: "Hey Mom, guess what?" . . .
How about funny porn movie names?
"That Rapper Destroyed My Crapper".
http://www.adultdvdtalk.com/movie/that-rapper-destroyed-my-crapper
LOL.
MilfMan865
08-19-16, 11:49
How about funny porn movie names?
"That Rapper Destroyed My Crapper".
LOL.Nice! The cover art / pics are just as funny as the title.
-milfman.
RyanRivera
08-19-16, 13:01
In the spirit of Rio 2016, a new way to rate providers.
Participants are given a minimal gift $$ for participation, but there is a large payout to the winner of an elimination style bracket.
Supplies:
Solo Cups.
Ping Pong Balls.
Whistle.
Chalk or Marking Tape.
Solo Cups set on one side of room. Row of ping pong balls on the other. At the sound of the whistle, participants are to squat down, pick up pong ball with either orifice, and 'carry' the ball across the room to then be placed in the solo cup, WITHOUT crushing the ball. Its a test of speed, agility, and finesse. Ultimate winner of all heats receives purse.
LoveToPlease
08-19-16, 23:07
When you're horny and broke.
How about funny porn movie names?
"That Rapper Destroyed My Crapper".
http://www.adultdvdtalk.com/movie/that-rapper-destroyed-my-crapper
LOL.Black Cocks Matter part 2.
Same studio.
LOL.
Black Cocks Matter part 2.
Same studio.
LOL."Twitter My Shitter".
http://www.excaliburfilms.com/AdultDVD/812924D1_Twitter_My_Shitter_dvd.htm
Hahaha!
Member #5245
08-26-16, 15:32
1. Wife doesn't allow girlfriends.
2. To learn how to tell the difference between a meth head hooker and a Crack ho in less than 20 seconds.
3. We actually enjoy drama.
4. I can't stop looking at her boobies.
5. How else would a 60 year old man be able to enjoy a 20 year old woman?
6. At a restaurant the waiter doesn't know she's not wearing any panties.
7. I don't know about you, but helping them make that car payment has become one of my life's goals.
8. Shopping with her at Victoria ' Secret maxes out my credit card every time.
9. The maids at her Notel know your name. Hey Belly, clean sheets today, one of them says as I walk by.
10. The phrase, "that's going to cost extra" no longer bothers you.
Yours,
The Belly.
Interesting pictures. Sometimes I just e-mail the bullshit meter to jack-asses at work when necessary. They get the point usually.
I can share one of my all-time favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6QnrVAbD1s
MilfMan865
08-26-16, 20:46
I can share one of my all-time favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6QnrVAbD1sThis one made me spit out a good portion of my beer. At the 3:30 mark, "John: Do you have any dental work?", "Hooker: Do I look like I have healthcare?". "John: Good Point." Real life, true story stuff right there. Too funny.
Happy Hunting,
Milfman.
This one made me spit out a good portion of my beer. At the 3:30 mark, "John: Do you have any dental work?", "Hooker: Do I look like I have healthcare?". "John: Good Point." Real life, true story stuff right there. Too funny.
Happy Hunting,
Milfman.LMAO--OMG.
Accents? LOL.
This one made me spit out a good portion of my beer. At the 3:30 mark, "John: Do you have any dental work?", "Hooker: Do I look like I have healthcare?". "John: Good Point." Real life, true story stuff right there. Too funny.
Happy Hunting,
Milfman.
I can share one of my all-time favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6QnrVAbD1sLoved it! " my step uncle did it in Nam"!
CuriousButSafe
08-27-16, 11:39
I can share one of my all-time favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6QnrVAbD1sI have to get that freakin list!. LOL.
I can share one of my all-time favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6QnrVAbD1sFunny!
I'm not going to say which provider, but I've actually did that same thing once, pay the last couple of dollars in quarters. She laughed and gave me hell and reminds me of it ever since.
https://vimeo.com/118970954
YoungBlood1
09-14-16, 00:14
https://vimeo.com/118970954This is hysterical.
LoveToPlease
09-14-16, 10:30
Funny!
I'm not going to say which provider, but I've actually did that same thing once, pay the last couple of dollars in quarters. She laughed and gave me hell and reminds me of it ever since.I see someone that owns several vending machines and pays completely in quarters every time. Fine by me. They are always rolled and come in handy for the laundromat. LOL.
I see someone that owns several vending machines and pays completely in quarters every time. Fine by me. They are always rolled and come in handy for the laundromat. LOL.Does that make you a two-bit hooker?
(I apologize LoveToPlease. You are a wonderful woman I have seen. But, the joke was there and I couldn't resist.).
LoveToPlease
09-16-16, 08:34
Does that make you a two-bit hooker?
(I apologize LoveToPlease. You are a wonderful woman I have seen. But, the joke was there and I couldn't resist.).No apology necessary. It was funny and I did kind of walk in to it, .
LoveToPlease
09-16-16, 08:41
I have a major problem. LOL.
Grizzlyman
09-20-16, 02:37
I have a major problem. LOL.But it is a good problem for the one's that have met you.
Grizzly.
MilfMan865
09-29-16, 20:53
Title: 14 Weirdest Sex Records in the World.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOPPmiE8tAg
Notables: a near 10 hour masturbation session, an 82 year old provider, World Gang bang Championship winner with 919 dudes in a day, an ejaculate over 18 feet, a 13.5" human penis, and a vagina so deep you can hear an echo.
Happy Hunting,
Milfman.
ShootingStars
10-01-16, 03:45
Pretty sure I beat that 10 hour session in college!
Title: 14 Weirdest Sex Records in the World.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOPPmiE8tAg
Notables: a near 10 hour masturbation session, an 82 year old provider, World Gang bang Championship winner with 919 dudes in a day, an ejaculate over 18 feet, a 13.5" human penis, and a vagina so deep you can hear an echo.
Happy Hunting,
Milfman.
Member #5245
10-06-16, 21:13
Title: 14 Weirdest Sex Records in the World.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOPPmiE8tAg
Notables: a near 10 hour masturbation session, an 82 year old provider, World Gang bang Championship winner with 919 dudes in a day, an ejaculate over 18 feet, a 13.5" human penis, and a vagina so deep you can hear an echo.
Happy Hunting,
Milfman.It's really quite amazing how Milfman spends his free time. LOL. Sorry, thought that was funny.
The Belly.
By the grace of God, onward we go...
MilfMan865
12-22-16, 11:20
After spending some quality time in a hotel suite with one of my SA college girl options, it got a bit late into the night. Following several hours of "Netflix and Chill" (more like Redbox and Chill), 2 a.m. rolled around and she comes out of the restroom in some comfortable, yet sexy, Vicky's Secret evening wear. In a low and seductive voice, she says "Do you mind if I stay the night?". I was thinking that we were crossed a milestone in our time together. I asked what motivated her to stay, this time. She said, "My phone is out of data, I'm traveling tomorrow, we don't have Internet at our apartment, and I REALLY REALLY need to use the Wi-Fi. Pretty Please?".
Milestone event? ,. , nope. ,. , having an overnight? .,., nope .,., she's only staying for the free Wi-Fi. True story.
stay safe,
milfman
StonesRoller69
12-22-16, 13:57
After spending some quality time in a hotel suite with one of my SA college girl options, it got a bit late into the night. Following several hours of "Netflix and Chill" (more like Redbox and Chill), 2 a.m. rolled around and she comes out of the restroom in some comfortable, yet sexy, Vicky's Secret evening wear. In a low and seductive voice, she says "Do you mind if I stay the night?". I was thinking that we were crossed a milestone in our time together. I asked what motivated her to stay, this time. She said, "My phone is out of data, I'm traveling tomorrow, we don't have Internet at our apartment, and I REALLY REALLY need to use the Wi-Fi. Pretty Please?".
Milestone event? ,. , nope. ,. , having an overnight? .,., nope .,., she's only staying for the free Wi-Fi. True story.
stay safe,
milfmanThat is pretty funny. Thanks for sharing that. We all get served up a slice of humble pie now and then, especially in these pursuits and adventures.
RyanRivera
12-31-16, 22:02
In case any of you missed the fight yesterday.
I found this a bit funny and had to share.
There is this loud mouth kid at work who brags about being a "ladies man". He says he can walk into any place and pick up any lady he wants. And after one night with him, no woman would ever want another man cause he was so, so big. Everybody at work really can't stand him and all his stories.
His attitude has been a bit different the past couple of week though. He says he met his "perfect" woman. She is beautiful, honest, loyal, the whole nine yards. She gives him money, lets him go out with his friends and she just stays at home waiting.
The other day he asked if I could pick him up for work cause his girl needed his car to run some errands. I said "Sure, give me your number and I'll call when I'm on my way to get you. You better be ready cause I won't wait. " He said he broke his phone but I could call his girl's phone, she wouldn't care. As I was putting the number in my phone, it popped up as one of my regulars. One that I had just been with a few nights before. The perfect girl, right!? Of course, I didn't tell him anything.
I remembered talking to her that night and she was telling me a whole different story about him. How "tiny" was just another means of funds. He basically hands her his paycheck every payday. She tells him she is going out with "friends" when she gets a call and he waits on her. She even said sometimes she does BBBJCIM for her last "friend" of the night and goes straight home and gives him a big long kiss. She only keeps him around cause he has a job and it keep her PO off her ass.
Next time I see her, I might just tell her I work with him to see what she does. It would be great to know that she went home and gave him a big ol' kiss with "me" on her lips.
StonesRoller69
01-30-17, 01:25
I found this a bit funny and had to share.
There is this loud mouth kid at work who brags about being a "ladies man". He says he can walk into any place and pick up any lady he wants. And after one night with him, no woman would ever want another man cause he was so, so big. Everybody at work really can't stand him and all his stories.
His attitude has been a bit different the past couple of week though. He says he met his "perfect" woman. She is beautiful, honest, loyal, the whole nine yards. She gives him money, lets him go out with his friends and she just stays at home waiting.
The other day he asked if I could pick him up for work cause his girl needed his car to run some errands. I said "Sure, give me your number and I'll call when I'm on my way to get you. You better be ready cause I won't wait. " He said he broke his phone but I could call his girl's phone, she wouldn't care. As I was putting the number in my phone, it popped up as one of my regulars. One that I had just been with a few nights before. The perfect girl, right!? Of course, I didn't tell him anything.
I remembered talking to her that night and she was telling me a whole different story about him. How "tiny" was just another means of funds. He basically hands her his paycheck every payday. She tells him she is going out with "friends" when she gets a call and he waits on her. She even said sometimes she does BBBJCIM for her last "friend" of the night and goes straight home and gives him a big long kiss. She only keeps him around cause he has a job and it keep her PO off her ass.
Next time I see her, I might just tell her I work with him to see what she does. It would be great to know that she went home and gave him a big ol' kiss with "me" on her lips.I can see how annoying that kid would be and I understand your thoughts of him getting what he deserves. Been there. But it's funny how when you are not involved you sometimes see things differently. I feel sorry for him as he obviously has a lot of self-esteem and other issues and doesn't know how to handle it. Having been used and abused by a woman in a similar nature -- and NOT deserving it like perhaps this kid does -- my disdain is focused on that ***** (is fucking **** too harsh?) He may be a prick in the workplace but sounds like she is taking him to the cleaners for no good reason but greed and low character.
I would like to propose something to TNWodman. This won't be easy and maybe not entirely realistic or practical but here goes. I say the one you should tell is the kid. You want to humble him and shut him up, and at the same time stop that ***** from ripping him off and using him (I. E. , do the right thing) you could use the opportunity to call him aside and tell him you know the truth and it is safe with you as long as he changes his behavior. You might be surprised that there is some good in him but he doesn't know how to get it out. He isn't going to say anything about you because you really have a lot more on him when you think about it. Okay, so if you don't want him to know, and can't think of a way of telling him that a "friend" told you all about her, then at least leave the guy an anonymous note whereas you still get the opportunity to tell him to shut the fuck up or you will spill the beans. I would like to say us guys should stick together but I know that is kind of corny and this situation goes beyond that.
Sorry for the humor buzzkill. I really do have a healthy sense of humor, I just see a person who is in trouble and needs some guidance to turn his life around before he really fucks it up. Please don't take anything I say personally, I'm not judging you I just think there is a greater good to be looked at here. Doesn't sound to me like the kid did anything to deserve that kind of treatment from that *****.
That's my two cents worth. I posted it here rather than PM TNWodman so others can state their opinion on the matter and comment on my take on it.
MGTOW feminist Diana Davidson's "rape joke" of the week. (At very end of the video).
Women and why they wear makeup.
https://youtu.be/aI34-_EHgus
TheCoolDude
03-28-17, 08:43
A squirrel was crossing double railroad tracks. As he cross the first set of tracks, a train was coming and just caught the tip of his tail. He looked back and saw the tip of his tail between the tracks. He decided to go back to get the piece of his tail. When he started back to get his tail, a train was coming the other way and chop off his head.
The moral of the story is don't lose your head trying to get a piece of tail.
Similarly, Don Rickles used to say he once lost $20 in a casino -- then he spent $1000 trying to get it back.
StonesRoller69
03-29-17, 00:13
Similarly, Don Rickles used to say he once lost $20 in a casino -- and spent $1000 trying to get it back.Ahh, was there ever a better insult machine than Don Rickles? He could rip you a new one before you new what hit you.
"Of course I have hairpiece on my head. Where else would I have it. On mi dick!?"
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gB5HsDRRPRY
JoeyMahoney69
04-19-17, 12:50
Ran across this while looking for spinners online LOL.
HitAndQuit63
04-19-17, 13:12
Driving home from a dream I had stopped at redlight heard my car making an awful racket. I was busy thinking of what excuse I could come up with for being so far away from where I was supposed to be. All my gauges were fine no warning from computer so I carefully pulled out no probs. Stopped noticed racket was kinda of a rhythmic pulsing sound. It wa kinda of familiar but I just wanted to get somewhere I could explain. Stop again and it dawned on me so I pull off into parking lot and check my trunk sure enough when I tossed myplaytime bag back in trunk it had bumped the start switch on the toy I had been using on her. It was against the fender insride trunk and it was loud LOL. Amazed how the batteries lasted.
EZ.
Professor69
04-19-17, 16:19
Driving home from a dream I had stopped at redlight heard my car making an awful racket. I was busy thinking of what excuse I could come up with for being so far away from where I was supposed to be. All my gauges were fine no warning from computer so I carefully pulled out no probs. Stopped noticed racket was kinda of a rhythmic pulsing sound. It wa kinda of familiar but I just wanted to get somewhere I could explain. Stop again and it dawned on me so I pull off into parking lot and check my trunk sure enough when I tossed myplaytime bag back in trunk it had bumped the start switch on the toy I had been using on her. It was against the fender insride trunk and it was loud LOL. Amazed how the batteries lasted.
EZ.Now that is pretty funny, I could see many of us thinking those same thoughts at some point in time.
Ahh, was there ever a better insult machine than Don Rickles? He could rip you a new one before you new what hit you.I had the pleasure of attending many of Mr. Warmths shows. Agreed he could embarrass the robes off the Pope. Yet he was a very funny and classy guy. If you was unfortunate enough to be the target of his venom a bottle of very fine champagne arrived at your table. He definitely knew which side his bread was buttered on. Very sadly missed. Me, I'm just an 'OL Gator.
RustyMuffler
04-19-17, 23:50
Yes, I would. Provided she is at least 18.
Ran across this while looking for spinners online LOL.
StonesRoller69
04-20-17, 11:24
I had the pleasure of attending many of Mr. Warmths shows. Agreed he could embarrass the robes off the Pope. Yet he was a very funny and classy guy. If you was unfortunate enough to be the target of his venom a bottle of very fine champagne arrived at your table. He definitely knew which side his bread was buttered on. Very sadly missed. Me, I'm just an 'OL Gator.He truly was a great, one of the last of a generation nearly gone now (Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jackie Gleason, Lucille Ball, Jonathan Winters, Bob Hope, I could go on and on). I have to admit I didn't know he was still living when I made that post. I never saw him live, wish I had. Found this online but not even the tip of the iceberg of the depth of Rickles' insult talents. No one did it better. And I agree, I always heard he was classy and actually had a big heart. He also had a nice little role in Casino.
http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/lists/don-rickles-15-great-insults-and-one-liners-w475476
The video will give you 'youngsters' out there some idea of his greatness. In his prime, Rickles was lightning fast and needed no script to hurl cutting insult after insult. You couldn't help but admire him. May he rest in peace -- well, maybe with a few good insults hurled his way.
StonesRoller69
04-20-17, 11:44
"Of course I have hairpiece on my head. Where else would I have it. On mi dick!?"
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gB5HsDRRPRY'Quarter Pounder, man!' But one of my favorite movie scenes of all time -- have often tried to replicate it -- is the part about 'Hey, don't take those, man. '.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCXqbjo6cb0
Check out the license plate on the car! Don't know how old you are, dude, but I remember getting their first ALBUM when it came out and listening to it over and over again. Fucking hilarious stuff back in the day.
My Top favorite handles.
Alright hoodlums.
AtTheOffice.
CuddleMaster.
GinaSeeker.
HairpieceOnMyHead.
Hitter_N_daShitter.
In2 Feet.
ExitOnly.
ForeSkin1.
GPS_Seeker.
GetOffmyLawn.
JustFeet.
ToeSucker.
NoHablaEngles.
JoseWho.
MajorVulva.
PayemToLeave.
StinkStar.
TeaBaggnIt.
ThisSideUp.
UncleLester.
WhatUTalknBout.
WhosOnFirst.
WhatsOnSecond.
WizzyWig.
WigCharmmer.
YourMom.
YourSister.
Rrayr.
HitAndQuit63
04-30-17, 19:23
I'm about to fuck this.What's her digits?
StonesRoller69
05-01-17, 16:08
I'm about to fuck this.Deflowering.
Dreamer469
05-06-17, 10:49
She wants to give oral only!
NC Transplant
05-06-17, 12:47
Now that is funny. I don't care who you are.
She wants to give oral only!
She wants to give oral only!Kinda creepy.
Creepy like those Easter bunny costumes.
StonesRoller69
05-06-17, 18:15
She wants to give oral only!Be happy she didn't charge you for a BJ AND FS!
Does anyone know how to shake a chubby?
MilfMan865
05-13-17, 06:39
Does anyone know how to shake a chubby?Don't! I'm assuming that you're talking about a non-pro chubby chick that you are. , , haha. ,. , "dating". If she's under 30, keep milking that situation man. Young chubby chicks haven't heard all of the douchebag moves that dudes use to break up with their chubby arses yet; by 30 those chicks have heard them all.
Some of the best experiences that I've had with non-pros have been dating chubby chicks who are really eager to please and impress. It's usually so hard for them to get a man, they'll do anything at all to keep a man. What she may lack in aesthetics, she will more than likely make up for it in enthusiasm. You have to learn to love a fat unicorn and she can make your non-pro dreams come true.
However, if you must let her go, be a man about it and say directly "You feel like it's time to break things off". Don't go with all of that it's not you, it's me BS, just set her free.
Tongue in cheek. ,.
Milfman.
Don't! I'm assuming that you're talking about a non-pro chubby chick that you are. , , haha. ,. , "dating". If she's under 30, keep milking that situation man. Young chubby chicks haven't heard all of the douchebag moves that dudes use to break up with their chubby arses yet; by 30 those chicks have heard them all.
Some of the best experiences that I've had with non-pros have been dating chubby chicks who are really eager to please and impress. It's usually so hard for them to get a man, they'll do anything at all to keep a man. What she may lack in aesthetics, she will more than likely make up for it in enthusiasm. You have to learn to love a fat unicorn and she can make your non-pro dreams come true.
However, if you must let her go, be a man about it and say directly "You feel like it's time to break things off". Don't go with all of that it's not you, it's me BS, just set her free.
Tongue in cheek. ,.
Milfman.Thanks for the advise. And yes non pro.
I'll pm you about the details.
Rrayr.
My Judy needs help.
Otis Campbell is the fictional "town drunk" in Mayberry on the American TV sitcom The Andy Griffith Show. Otis was played by Hal Smith and made frequent appearances on the show from 1960 to 1967 but stopped appearing toward the end of the series because of concerns raised by the sponsors over the portrayal of excessive drinking.
Character overview.
MilfMan865
05-18-17, 23:49
Sweetandfuzzy32.
https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/73ea76ce-36aa-4478-b031-0c7f7ff52963
You got to see it to believe it. To each his own.
Happy hunting,. , ,
Milfman.
GreenHornet99
05-18-17, 23:59
Sweetandfuzzy32.
https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/73ea76ce-36aa-4478-b031-0c7f7ff52963
You got to see it to believe it. To each his own.
Happy hunting,. , ,
Milfman.We eagerly await your review on this one Milfman.
MilfMan865
05-20-17, 09:21
We eagerly await your review on this one Milfman.After careful consideration, I had to respectfully decline her offer to travel to me. I figured that my concentration would be thrown off with her whiskers tickling me the entire time.
Happy hunting,
Milfman.
HitAndQuit63
05-20-17, 12:26
After careful consideration, I had to respectfully decline her offer to travel to me. I figured that my concentration would be thrown off with her whiskers tickling me the entire time.
Happy hunting,
Milfman.Milfman without a coping strategy!
Callmecrazy
05-20-17, 13:09
After careful consideration, I had to respectfully decline her offer to travel to me. I figured that my concentration would be thrown off with her whiskers tickling me the entire time.
Happy hunting,
Milfman.Haha! Damn I'm laughing my ass off.
Anyone tried this duo?
http://knoxville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/classifieds/EnlargeImage?image=24755423&oid=24755458
RyanRivera
07-06-17, 00:01
Anyone tried this duo?
http://knoxville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/classifieds/EnlargeImage?image=24755423&oid=24755458Perhaps that is the photographer?
TheCoolDude
07-07-17, 11:03
Met a hooker named Medusa.
I showed her my dick. Turned it to stone.
Now it's hard as a rock.
HitAndQuit63
07-12-17, 07:17
This is text from a Facebook post from a girl who was active on SA. Anybody not know what's wrong with her?
This is like the 3rd time since the 4th of July that I eat and throw it right back up if I sleep I sleep all day and night then wake up starvin eat and then get sick I domt know what is wrong with me but this throwing up has got to stop here it is on day 4 so. I eat a hotdog and yogurt and here I go. Just threw it all back up ugh. I don't fell good at all. Not to mention I cry over every little thing possible like what os wrong with me 😭128557;128557;.
Member #6269
07-12-17, 08:01
This is text from a Facebook post from a girl who was active on SA. Anybody not know what's wrong with her?
This is like the 3rd time since the 4th of July that I eat and throw it right back up if I sleep I sleep all day and night then wake up starvin eat and then get sick I domt know what is wrong with me but this throwing up has got to stop here it is on day 4 so. I eat a hotdog and yogurt and here I go. Just threw it all back up ugh. I don't fell good at all. Not to mention I cry over every little thing possible like what os wrong with me 😭128557;128557;.One of you guys knocked her up!
HitAndQuit63
07-12-17, 08:46
One of you guys knocked her up!She vehemently states only one guys fucking her ands she didn't let him cum in her.
Member #6269
07-12-17, 13:17
She vehemently states only one guys fucking her ands she didn't let him cum in her.Most of us are her because your daddy was fucking your mom and didn't cum inside her. We all run the risk at one point in our life, some just get dealt the unlucky card.
HitAndQuit63
07-12-17, 13:26
Most of us are her because your daddy was fucking your mom and didn't cum inside her. We all run the risk at one point in our life, some just get dealt the unlucky card.That is some truth there!
Someone should have used the Honor System.
Don't cum in her cum on her, its always what I do.
Member #6269
07-13-17, 06:53
I offered her my honor.
She honored my offer.
And all night long, I was on her and off her!
Someone should have used the Honor System.
Don't cum in her cum on her, its always what I do.Forgot to ad a photo from yesterdays post.
Who doesn't like to face paint?
HitAndQuit63
07-13-17, 20:06
Forgot to ad a photo from yesterdays post.
Who doesn't like to face paint?Right on target LOL.
Member #6269
07-25-17, 10:15
What happened to Milfman?
I miss his wisdom!
What happened to Milfman?
I miss his wisdom!I heard he was in a seedy part of town and went to take a shit. And the hogs ate him! I expect he'll post a rating of the individual hogs as soon as he recovers.
Fit.
MilfMan865
07-31-17, 10:46
I heard he was in a seedy part of town and went to take a shit. And the hogs ate him! I expect he'll post a rating of the individual hogs as soon as he recovers.
Fit.
What happened to Milfman?
I miss his wisdom!You guys are a class act! In response to a number of PMs asking about my goings on. ,. , quite simple. ,. , it's the summer so I've been traveling, doing a lot of outdoor stuff like most everyone else, and exploring many many ho's in different area codes. My local activities should pick up in the fall.
Keep living the dream brothers!
Press (pay for) play everyday.
Milfman.
HitAndQuit63
07-31-17, 11:48
You guys are a class act! In response to a number of PMs asking about my goings on. ,. , quite simple. ,. , it's the summer so I've been traveling, doing a lot of outdoor stuff like most everyone else, and exploring many many ho's in different area codes. My local activities should pick up in the fall.
Keep living the dream brothers!
Press (pay for) play everyday.
Milfman.So you've avoided the hogs?
I know there is usually a report on the stip clubs over the weekend and thought some of you might enjoy this:
http://coub.com/view/98qpm
Not much of a video so just listen to the song.
Reminds me of some of you sick fucks on here. And I have to admit, it reminds me a little of myself. (Did I say that out loud).
MilfMan865
08-08-17, 21:42
Check out Ivy672 on SA (attached). Just speculating. ,. ,. , but she probably has a pubic hair comb (for both regions) in her grooming kit.
-milfman.
Check out Ivy672 on SA (attached). Just speculating. ,. ,. , but she probably has a pubic hair comb (for both regions) in her grooming kit.
-milfman.Nice pair of combat boots on the floor too! Ha.
Some of these women just don't think when they post photos.
HitAndQuit63
08-09-17, 07:55
Nice pair of combat boots on the floor too! Ha.
Some of these women just don't think when they post photos.All those guys looking for hairy Bush may have a winner!
TricitiesGuy
08-12-17, 21:03
I woman on SA just gave me a phone #. Of course, I immediately googled it. Sadly, I didn't find her on social media or anything, but I found something that cracked me up. On a phone # tracking website (sort of like a site that people list telemarketing phone calls), I found the same # listed with this comment: "very fantastic number".
Could that be a completely random comment? Absolutely! But, I'm laughing and hoping this is an indication that I just got a "very fantastic number"!
MilfMan865
08-17-17, 18:19
Providers with hair hair everywhere, questionable hygiene, or worse are not a deterrent to many mongers.
This gives a new meaning to "Free Flowing Yoga":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lur6WfDylRQ
Happy hunting,
Milfman.
InFromBehind
08-25-17, 07:59
So she's dancing in an effort to sell some pussy while watching a church service. http://orangecounty.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/i-come-to-you-extremely-addictive-young-and-tight/132856218.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6jfJWf5btK4
All you need to know. LOL.
MilfMan865
08-27-17, 03:40
Knoxville Provider (Annalee): http://knoxville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/prefer-my-h-o-u-s-e-in-andrson-county-8652019923-or-i-can-be-mobile-updated-10-50am/21182748.
Video (At the 1:35 mark, claims she tasted a drug bag that she found and it numbed her mouth): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wvkt3i_bms.
Stay safe,
Milfman.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6jfJWf5btK4
All you need to know. LOL.I love the line--he used me, it was all about him.
I love the line--he used me, it was all about him.Yep too funny. As long as I've done this I never knew so much was expected of my performance. LOL.
Buzz LightYear
08-27-17, 17:16
Knoxville Provider (Annalee): http://knoxville.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/prefer-my-h-o-u-s-e-in-andrson-county-8652019923-or-i-can-be-mobile-updated-10-50am/21182748.
Video (At the 1:35 mark, claims she tasted a drug bag that she found and it numbed her mouth): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wvkt3i_bms.
Stay safe,
Milfman.She seems to know an awful lot about crack LOL.
MilfMan865
10-06-17, 09:23
Mr. D. discovers that some kindergarten students have amazing vocabularies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIBwSHZAOU0
-milfman.
StonesRoller69
10-06-17, 12:48
Mr. D. discovers that some kindergarten students have amazing vocabularies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIBwSHZAOU0
-milfman.Pretty damn funny! I can relate to the boy who can never be a lesbian.
StonesRoller69
10-26-17, 18:39
Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyTheWad.
BBW = fat.
Voluptuous = fat.
Curvy = fat.
Curvaceous = fat.
Thick = fat.
Rubenesque = fat.
Womanly = fat.
Hourglass = fat.
Supersized = fat.
Pic of face only? = fat.
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat.
Gives bra size only? = fat.
Busty = either saggy or fat.
Naturally busty = saggy and fat.
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly.
Slim = no boobs.
Svelte = no boobs.
Slender = no boobs.
Dancer's body = no boobs.
Runner = no boobs.
Spinner = no boobs.
Yoga = no boobs.
Bombshell = fake boobs.
Baywatch = fake boobs.
Playboy = fake boobs.
Model = fake boobs.
Brazilian = black.
Butterscotch = black.
Caramel = black.
Chocolate = black.
Creole = black.
Cuban = black.
Dominican = black.
Ebony = black.
Egyptian = black.
Eritrean = black.
Ethiopian = black.
Exotic = black.
Hawaiian = black.
Mahogany = black.
Mocha = black.
Mulatto = black.
Nubian = black.
Mixed = black.
Mature = old.
Courtesan = old.
Gracious = old.
Graceful = old.
Refined = old.
Elegant = old.
Classic = old.
Conservative = old.
Original = old.
Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's.
Just turned 18 = mid 20's.
19 = possible jailbait.
21 = late 20's.
28 = late 30's.
Intelligent = brunette.
Sorority Girl = blonde.
Selective = overpriced.
Exclusive = very overpriced.
Classy = can't afford lingerie.
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients.
Nasty = doesn't shower at all.
Upscale = snooty personality.
All American = all trailer trash.
Princess = I have an attitude problem.
Party girl = I'll be high on drugs.
On fire = active herpes outbreak.
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service.
Coed = plain looking with acne problem.
Girl next door = looks like the boy next door.
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures.
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds.
Energetic = methamphetamine addict.
Down to earth = boring.
College graduate = sleeps with professors.
Open minded = openly accepts tips.
Two girl show = one girl shows, one girl steals your stuff.
New to business = changed name.
New to area = changed name and moved across bay.
Only here for a few days = staying until bad reviews run me out of town.
Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your I'd.
Discrete = I can't spell.
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me.
Seeks generous gentleman = ROB for the elderly.
Seeks generous businessmen = ROB for out-of-towners.
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat.
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money.
Snowbunny = white girl with a black pimp.
Available 24/7 = my pimp doesn't let me sleep.
AD WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS = my pimp can't type.
AD wRiTTeN iN mIxED cAsE = my pimp is learning how to type.
You won't be sorry = You'll be disappointed.
You won't be disappointed = You'll be sorry.
CMT = good massage, bad sex.
FBSM = bad massage, good sex.
What an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information:
Unless specified, you can assume:
Hair color = brown.
Hair length = to shoulder.
Eye color = brown.
Age = mature.
Height = short.
Weight = heavy.
Cup size = small.
Measurements = large.
Pretty damn funny! I can relate to the boy who can never be a lesbian.Friggin hilarious.
Jumpin Jack
11-02-17, 08:18
I laughed so hard my eyes watered. Awesome! Thanks, MilfMan.
Mr. D. discovers that some kindergarten students have amazing vocabularies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIBwSHZAOU0
-milfman.
If you're cold they're cold.
BandSantLoyal
01-24-18, 14:08
I can see how annoying that kid would be and I understand your thoughts of him getting what he deserves. Been there. But it's funny how when you are not involved you sometimes see things differently. I feel sorry for him as he obviously has a lot of self-esteem and other issues and doesn't know how to handle it. Having been used and abused by a woman in a similar nature -- and NOT deserving it like perhaps this kid does -- my disdain is focused on that ***** (is fucking **** too harsh?) He may be a prick in the workplace but sounds like she is taking him to the cleaners for no good reason but greed and low character.
I would like to propose something to TNWodman. This won't be easy and maybe not entirely realistic or practical but here goes. I say the one you should tell is the kid. You want to humble him and shut him up, and at the same time stop that ***** from ripping him off and using him (I. E. , do the right thing) you could use the opportunity to call him aside and tell him you know the truth and it is safe with you as long as he changes his behavior. You might be surprised that there is some good in him but he doesn't know how to get it out. He isn't going to say anything about you because you really have a lot more on him when you think about it. Okay, so if you don't want him to know, and can't think of a way of telling him that a "friend" told you all about her, then at least leave the guy an anonymous note whereas you still get the opportunity to tell him to shut the fuck up or you will spill the beans. I would like to say us guys should stick together but I know that is kind of corny and this situation goes beyond that.
Sorry for the humor buzzkill. I really do have a healthy sense of humor, I just see a person who is in trouble and needs some guidance to turn his life around before he really fucks it up. Please don't take anything I say personally, I'm not judging you I just think there is a greater good to be looked at here. Doesn't sound to me like the kid did anything to deserve that kind of treatment from that *****.
That's my two cents worth. I posted it here rather than PM TNWodman so others can state their opinion on the matter and comment on my take on it.Yea. Speaking from personal experience being that guy. I would tell him he will eventually figure things out on his own enless he's just golable as blah. My girl worked at the ball for almost two years Lilly. Was spousidly her stage name. If anyone knows of her I'm sure half you guys do and grats to dude who let her drink coke all night because I wasn't answering her calls when she came back from ohioh. And aperintly only got his dick jerk off in shower I'm sure more to that but is what is she's not there anymore and we've grone a solid foundation for are selfs went from sleeping in a tent to living in friends house to getting are own.
MilfMan865
03-11-18, 14:15
Some of you kept Franenrose in business, so there is no bottom bar. This is a real ad at http://knoxville.skipthegames.com/female-escorts/865-320-7523/624350945787.
We all have our preferences, but "What's the deal with your butt and legs?" should not be a conversation starter.
Stay safe,
Milfman.
Some of you kept Franenrose in business, so there is no bottom bar. This is a real ad at http://knoxville.skipthegames.com/female-escorts/865-320-7523/624350945787.
We all have our preferences, but "What's the deal with your butt and legs?" should not be a conversation starter.
Stay safe,
Milfman.I hope that I don't go blind now.
I hope that I don't go blind now.My eyesight is bad enough that I have the screen zoomed in.
Well, at least I think it was. I can't see ana; lawe; o now.
Member #2668
03-12-18, 09:12
Some of you kept Franenrose in business, so there is no bottom bar. This is a real ad at http://knoxville.skipthegames.com/female-escorts/865-320-7523/624350945787.
We all have our preferences, but "What's the deal with your butt and legs?" should not be a conversation starter.
Stay safe,
Milfman.I love the expression on the dogs face, he's like "WTF" LOL.
I love the expression on the dogs face, he's like "WTF" LOL.The look on the dog's face says "The shit I do for fucking peanut butter. Gawddamnit! ".
I'm always worried that "full GFE" means that I'll end up picking up the tab and getting a handshake at the end of the night while she's texting some other guy.
Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyTheWad.
BBW = fat.
Voluptuous = fat.
Curvy = fat.
Curvaceous = fat.
Thick = fat.
Rubenesque = fat.
Womanly = fat.
Hourglass = fat.
Supersized = fat.
Pic of face only? = fat.
Pic of body under bedsheet? = fat..Probably the most accurate description and information that I have read in a long time. That's hilarious.
HitAndQuit63
04-06-18, 16:10
Rumor has it skipthegames will start charging by the pound.
Rumor has it skipthegames will start charging by the pound.Some of them already are. Just look at their rates.
Rumor has it skipthegames will start charging by the pound.Some of them are. Just look at the rates.
HitAndQuit63
04-06-18, 18:06
Some of them are. Just look at the rates.Looks like a couple of them should be charging 400. They’re looking like wads if chewed up bubblegum.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6525345/woman-head-stuck-exhaust-pipe-minnesota-music-festival/
The jokes are ending on this one.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6525345/woman-head-stuck-exhaust-pipe-minnesota-music-festival/
The jokes are ending on this one.Removed for underage drinking. What? I can't believe there was alcohol involved in this!
Member #6269
07-24-18, 11:41
Anybody tried the Fish Tacos at Hooter's? Are they available for Carry Out?
Periodically, we run across ladies that suddenly flake out on us claiming that they think we are LEO. We customers bail out when we get the feeling of being set up by the police. In fact, there was some recent comments on the board about a few folks that attempted to see Mariah only to be ghosted after she said they were LEO. It reminded me of something I read on another board about 10 years ago.
A long-time hobbyist was commenting on a particular provider that had wasted several guys' time before claiming they looked, sounded, or behaved like they were LEO. It appears the older hobbyist had recently gotten the same treatment and been accused of being LEO. The chatter amongst the board members was that she had been a good provider in the past, but had gotten paranoid. The guy posted the definition of paranoid. An irrational and obsessive distrust of others. He then commented that he should do something to help the young lady with her mental issue. On another post several hours later, he posted that he was helping her get over that irrational and obsessive fear that people contacting her were LEO. He said he gave the vice squad the provider's cell number and location so the fear could transition from irrational / obsessive to REAL.
Oh my. Still brings a smile to my face.
MilfMan865
08-29-18, 19:12
I thought that my eyes were playing tricks on me. An ad on USAAC for Destiny the Baddest was above an ad for Miss Chris (which appears to be using a few fake pics). It looks like Destiny's upper body was perfectly lined up with the fake pics Miss Chris used for her body shot. Please no commentary on what appears to be fake pics being used by a trusted provider,. ,. , this is simply about the pics lining up just right to make it appear that Destiny the Baddest was looking out of a window (using Miss Chris' alleged body).
Happy hunting,
Milfman.
BoredNurse40
04-06-19, 02:22
Recently came across this STG ad for an Aria. The ad says she is now mobile! I also couldn't help but notice in the services section that one of the talents is "face-sitting" LMFAO. One of the pics she posted made me start thinking about the safety of this hobby and how I'd hate to lose any of you fellow mongers to such a tragic fate. I've included the picture. Enjoy, be safe, and you may want to renew your life insurance policy or bring a snorkel before attempting what this picture suggests!
Recently came across this STG ad for an Aria. The ad says she is now mobile! I also couldn't help but notice in the services section that one of the talents is "face-sitting" LMFAO. One of the pics she posted made me start thinking about the safety of this hobby and how I'd hate to lose any of you fellow mongers to such a tragic fate. I've included the picture. Enjoy, be safe, and you may want to renew your life insurance policy or bring a snorkel before attempting what this picture suggests!I look at the picture and I can only think of the blonde that is wearing out STG looking for work. LOL.
EasttnnFun
04-09-19, 23:23
Recently came across this STG ad for an Aria. The ad says she is now mobile! I also couldn't help but notice in the services section that one of the talents is "face-sitting" LMFAO. One of the pics she posted made me start thinking about the safety of this hobby and how I'd hate to lose any of you fellow mongers to such a tragic fate. I've included the picture. Enjoy, be safe, and you may want to renew your life insurance policy or bring a snorkel before attempting what this picture suggests!That's a very good spin on truth interjected with humor. Get your snorkel, fins, flotation devise and go see her. When done, post a review, if you survive.
All jokes aside, some dudes like that kind of the "other white meat". Myself, I've realized that sometimes "big" girls try harder to please, like they are making up for looks with skills. Close your eyes and enjoy the ride.
East.
Ichfickemich
04-10-19, 00:34
Recently came across this STG ad for an Aria. The ad says she is now mobile! I also couldn't help but notice in the services section that one of the talents is "face-sitting" LMFAO. One of the pics she posted made me start thinking about the safety of this hobby and how I'd hate to lose any of you fellow mongers to such a tragic fate. I've included the picture. Enjoy, be safe, and you may want to renew your life insurance policy or bring a snorkel before attempting what this picture suggests!How is it her hand got so lost in that picture? I know I have a little size on me but you can still verify my hand on my groun if I put it there. I will admit, I've always found it easier to fist a fat girl but I prefer to do it to a spinner. LOL.
MilfMan865
04-20-19, 14:58
All was well with the scenery at Twyn Peeks until I noticed a major dress code faux pas. ,. ,. , suspenders WITH a belt. Almost grounds for filing a complaint with management, but as with most aspects, the practice of wearing both together is debatable (P.S. - still a number of Twyn Peeks gals on SA).
Happy Hunting,
Milfman.
Professor69
04-20-19, 18:00
All was well with the scenery at Twyn Peeks until I noticed a major dress code faux pas. ,. ,. , suspenders WITH a belt. Almost grounds for filing a complaint with management, but as with most aspects, the practice of wearing both together is debatable (P.S. - still a number of Twyn Peeks gals on SA).
Happy Hunting,
Milfman.Management is making sure the gals feel safe in their work environment. Some of the gals were drooping to low so they wanted to be sure to keep them up there. Never hurts to have backup. I have a few more but I'll stop.
LoveToPlease
10-23-20, 12:23
https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/miami-stripper-arrested-for-squirting-vaginal-fluids-at-police-officers-in-self-defense/
FreeThinker2
01-14-21, 16:17
Slim pickens lately!
We need a girl named "liberty" I only want to pay for what I need! Sometimes I don't need full coverage!
FT2.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.4 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.