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Admin
07-25-03, 15:33
From Della York at della_york@earthlink.net

cant find a woman,so ya have to buy someone to get sex? you must be VERY ugly. we will never have a beautiful world with all you freaks that have to purchase sex. you stupid and sick. the sickest. hope ya enjoy HELL.

Need I say more? Why don't some of you send this asshole an email advising him/her as to your thoughts about his/her attitude? Thanks.

Country John
11-24-03, 20:58
Della darling:

Here's the deal. Put a bag over your head, shoot a body shot and post it. Let's see how inspiring YOU are.

Nobody HAS TO buy sex from anybody. You can if you WANT TO however.

Sometimes guys seek services from elegible providers because they are usually connected to someone like YOU.

It's ok to differ in your opinion, freedom of expression -you know.

I think however that your short sightedness and lack of depth of vision cuts you off from the fruits of observation and understanding which explains why you are so quick to revile us.

None of us are advocating that YOU explore your sexuality with a professional partner. If you do, you must ALWAYS be SAFE (and be nice). Maybe even you can learn things about sex and about your own sexuality that you never dreamed of. You could be amazed.

To turn that into something crude and vile is mis-guided attempt to put into practice something you may have heard on Oprah or Dr. Phil, or who knows who or by from some religion that you probably also don't really understand (or even practice) but claim to be an authority in. You are embarrassing yourself and you don't even know it.

A lot has changed in the world of sex for money. Some things have not. Just so happens that our providers are just like YOU - women. It has often been called the worlds "oldest profession."

Do you condemn women as providers for bringing this "wrath" upon us men or only the men for participating in the activity?

Do you know where your husband / boyfriend / significant other is all the time? Is there a REMOTE possibility that they are enjoying the service of a professional sex provider because of what they can't enjoy from you? Think about it. You would NEVER know for sure. But again, you need to try and look beyond your own misunderstanding and ignorance. (Yes ignorance.)

I'm not going to level insults at you but I think you are a stereotypical example of ignorance (lack of education) and taking your shot at us probably made you feel good so I'm happy we were able to bring you somewhat close to some form of ecstasy. I'm really wondering what you're like in bed although I won't be fantasizing about it. There are just too many lovely ladies out there.

Email me if you change your mind.

Be Safe and BE NICE

Country John

Nefarious
03-20-04, 17:13
I often wonder why there are so many people worried and upset about two adults having consensual sex. As long as both are mentally, legally, and physically mature and are fully willing to participate, why should anyone have any objections regardless of the terms of the relationship? Why should it matter to anyone if someone accepts or pays money for sex? Of course, my feelings change dramatically when one member is not willing or able to make an informed, mature decision about what they are doing.

Legal prostitution lowers crime because it takes money out of the hands of criminals and back into the hands of the sex worker where it belongs. Furthermore, the availability of prostitutes helps protect women from rape because it simply makes no sense to rape a women when you can choose the woman you want, pay a fee, take care of business, and be on your way with no fear of arrest or any negative consequences other than the same sexually transmitted diseases that anyone could carry be they a prostitute or not.

Yes, it may be true that some of us paying for sex are overweight or so unattractive that we could never have sex with the women we desire here at home. However, many of us are hard working men with responsibilities and full lives here at home, but we need a break from the daily routine. To put it in terms that some women might understand, this is our “day at the spa.” This could also be called a hobby that relieves stress and helps us be better men at home and work. After I return from a trip aboard, I am more relaxed and able to take care of the needs of everyone that depend on me. Many men may also be at a time in their lives where a romantic relationship is simply not conducive to their current life plans or goals.

Sex is an exchange. Sometimes it is an exchange for romantic pleasure with your husband, wife, or lover. Other times it is just an exchange of sexual release with a one-night stand or a prostitute. As long as both adults are happy with the terms of the relationship, why should anyone else be worried or upset?

Nefarious

Brownout
04-02-04, 08:14
Nefarious

I disagree with you in certain ways.

I dispute the notion that legalising prostitution reduces rape. A portion of the punting public has higher propensity for sex addiction. Should they fail financially for whatever reasons they would turn to crimes (not limited to sexual ones) to fuel their addiction.

To many rapists, patronage of prostitution is no substitute. First, rape is not necessarily driven by sexual gratification. Second, even if sexual gratification is a motivation, the gratification may stem from involuntary or even forcible sex.

Sex is a different thing in different contexts. It is not purely an exchange. In some cases it is 'doing it on' someone (e.g. patronage of prostitution) and in other cases 'doing it with' (e.g. one-night stand) someone. For example, Japanese punters use specific vocabulary to distinguish punters who have had sex with pros only and those who have had sex with both pros and non-pros. They also distinguish these two groups of men from men who have had sex with non-pros only and those who have never had at all.

GoodEnough
04-04-04, 11:20
Brownout:

I don't think that there's a relationship between rape and sexual addiction. Rape is a hate crime, as I understand it, driven by misogyny and rage. Coinversely, sexual addiction is an unquenchable desire for sexual release. Therefore, you're correct, I think that legalizing prostitutiion would not diminish the incidence of rape, as it does not substitute for the gratification of coercion, which drives most, if not all, rapists.

Brownout
04-08-04, 08:54
Nefarious,

Rape is not always a hate crime. It is known that many rapes are just a foiled way of handling foiled seduction. Does the expression 'date rape' sound familiar to you?

I saw a TV programme where a criminal was depicted this way: Although he had a well-paid job and good reputation among his co-workers, clandestine patronage of prostitution, among other things, got him hooked (his confession). He hid about where his money was gone from his parents. At some point he went broke. To fuel his sexual desire, he robbed and raped a number of women. None of his co-workers could believe that he turned out to be a robber or rapist.

This is a case of sexual addiction and someone resorting to coercive means for fuelling it. Still I don't think there's anything wrong with sexual gratification short of addiction, although 'with whom' is another question.

Throughout the discussion I have been silent on what legal measures should be taken regarding the buying and selling of sex between non-specific persons, much less whether prostitution should be legalised.

Sticking to the original hate mail, not all punters are men who find themselves so unattractive that they have to resort to punting for sexual gratification. (This group of men tend to be worse clients.) Many men consider punting a choice among various modes of voluntary sexual activity.

There is another mode of sexuality like this: Paying a woman or providing her material possessions for an extended sexual relationship in return. This often occurs as something known as 'extramarital affairs' or even under the guise of marriage. I consider women seeking such roles perilously close to harlots, and not advisable for men to be after women like this while in courtship. I'll make you say the expression to describe relationships like this.

l Habitat
04-08-04, 20:34
Brownout and Nefarious,

I think both of you guys make some great points. I just wish intelligent discussions like these would be accepted in public forums, instead of having them shuttled off to anonymous internet message boards.

Brownout
04-10-04, 10:45
Habitat,

Add GoodEnough to your list.

Unfortunately Hyde Park isn't nearby so I'll have to come here to express myself.

Although I may disagree with many people's opinions at times, I disparage anything that threatens their freedom of speech.

GoodEnough
04-10-04, 10:55
Brownout:

Even date rape is, I think, less about seduction than control; less about healthy emotional feelings and release than about dominance. I do however, agree with you about payment, whether in kind or in cash, for sex. Many women (and for all I know, perhaps men as well) who would shun the notion of prostitution nevertheless exchange sex for some sort of material security, be it within the context of marriage or not. I guess this is by way of saying that there's a quid pro quo in any type of relationship. In the case of commercial sex, the medium of exchange is just clearer and better understood.

As to consensual sex between adults, it should be legalized and forever exempted from the domain of those who would police the worlds' bedrooms.

Brownout
04-10-04, 12:05
GoodEnough,

Many authorities are hesitant about liberalising the buying and selling of sex between non-specific adults even if they consider it in the private domain. The reality is that there's always a class of punters who do not practise urbanity while punting. e.g. They cause nuisance to non-participants or they make a particular neighbourhood undesirable. Does the expression 'NIMBY' sound familiar? Some authorities have the wisdom of quartering prostitution to a certain area and taking the profession elsewhere would be unlawful.

If you still don't understand my point, search my posts under the Hong Kong section with the name 'Brownout'.

To legalise prostitution would involve a number of measures. Some of these are taxation, occupational safety and health, profit sharing regulations, and even urban planning.

I have not linked date rape with healthy emotional feelings and release. Many such cases start with foiled seduction. Sometimes peer pressure comes into play. If you pull out you may risk disparagement for 'chickening out' and then you'll wish you were Harry Houdini. If you proceed you'll face criminal penalties and other lesser consequences. Yet peer pressure converges to unwarranted superiority. In cases where desire to dominate or control is absent, it is an unhealthy way of handling sexual desire. It is not essentially borne out of hatred.

What were you agreeing with me about payment, for sex? Do you mean that 'I consider women seeking such roles (of giving sexual satisfaction to a fixed man and taking material possessions from him in return) perilously close to harlots, and not advisable for men to be after women like this while in courtship'?

I consider this not advisable for some reasons: 1) Once she's found another richer man she's very likely to pack up; 2) She may be contriving to corrode your financial strength. 3) You don't need doing this to show your financial ostentation. Just buying a few lots of fucking stock will do.

This applies regardless of the woman's attitude towards prostitution.

For these very reasons I show antipathy for these women as well, but you may well consider me bloodless because you were talking about material security rather than material possession.

If material security is what a woman is after, the heaviest crime for her is resignation to lack of opportunity for economic self-reliance. This is not what I was talking about. On the other hand, if material possession is what she's after, she'd be guilty of greed, sloth and pomp. These cases of relationships are often disguised as and legitimated with marital relationships. Women in both cases face higher risk of maltreatment, as they are less likely to recourse to self-reliance.

PurpleNGold
04-10-04, 15:01
I know it's a bit delayed, but I was bored tonight and figured I'd respond to Della's e-mail:

Last July, you e-mailed the following:

>cant find a woman,so ya have to buy someone to get
>sex? you must be VERY ugly. we will never have a
>beautiful world with all you freaks that have to
>purchase sex. you stupid and sick. the sickest. hope
>ya enjoy HELL.

I wonder if you think that such an e-mail has any effect, or whether you just like to yak some yack dung.

I happen to like yakking too, so let's go through your argument piece by piece, shall we?

>cant find a woman, so ya have to buy someone to get
>sex?

Women are all over the place so a person would have to be seriously handicapped or isolated not to be able to find one.

Women are fairly easy to bed, at least the one's worth bedding are. Women uptight about sex as to keep themselves for marriage are just prudes who really have no sense of what living life to the fullest is about. The figurative meaning of your sentence is just as ludicrous as the literal.

Paying a woman for sex is not buying her. Buying another human being is a disgusting concept. Of course, the concept of marriage is closely related to the buying women as property. Which is worse?

One reason men pay a woman for sex is to get certain services that their significant other will not provide because she is too uptight to be a good lover. When's the last time you sucked your SO off?

> you must be VERY ugly.

People come in all shapes, sizes and physical appearances. Luckilly, for just about every combination there are people out there who find that combination attractive. Being Ugly has nothing to do with why most men visit prostitutes.

> we will never have a
>beautiful world with all you freaks that have to
>purchase sex.

I'm sad to hear that you think the world is not beautiful and that there is no hope of it being so. May I recommend that you put a bullet in your head as a solution? People with no hope often find suicide a comforting alternative.

BTW, everyone purchases sex. You think that there is anything different between the man who spends $25,000 on a diamond ring for his girl before she'll consent to give up the goods and the man who gives a lady $150 for an hour of good times?


> you stupid and sick. the sickest.

On the contrary, visiting pros costs a lot of money, and it is typically the educated and well adjusted who can afford such leisure on a regular basis. I would hypothesize that the majority of 'John's are well educated, community and industry leaders because those are the men who can afford to play.

> hope ya enjoy HELL.

Thank you for your well wishes, though I personally don't believe in any such locale. If, I'm wrong and we end up on the same express train, I'll be sure to extend you the courtesy of a lively debate on whether enjoying sexual gratification or playing the judge is a worse offense in your God's eyes.

Thanks for the laugh. Hope ya enjoy the HELL you make of your life.

Brownout
04-12-04, 03:53
PurpleNGold,

At the same time as I read your discourse I find several concepts questionable. My commentary is in roman and what you said is in italic.

In general: You do not seem to have taken women's need for sexual gratification into account. It's as if they were sex machines giving sexual excitement and neglecting anything other than material they may get in return.

Women uptight about sex as to keep themselves for marriage are just prudes who really have no sense of what living life to the fullest is about.

It is a matter of ideological, moral or religious choice for both sexes whether to reserve sexual activity to the context of marriage and whether to promote doing so. It has nothing to do with prudery at all. Stop playing judge.

[T]he concept of marriage is closely related to the buying women as property.

This statement holds true only in feudal times. It took arduous struggle to restore the concept of marriage to its true likeness, yet there's a sizable population that doesn't cooperate. What marriage is about is mutuality, not one person buying the other as property. Civilisations have abused this institution by making it a guise under which extended paid sexual relationship with a fixed person (See my previous posts in this topic) or even buying and selling in persons operates.

One reason men pay a woman for sex is to get certain services that their significant other will not provide because she is too uptight to be a good lover. When's the last time you sucked your SO off?

First, patronage of prostitution is a matter of choice for men who are after satisfaction of particular sexual idiosyncracies. Second, being with a lover is about giving and taking, and forgoing certain things is unavoidable. Even if you were a hard-line opponent of punting it can be quite costly (not necessarily in monetary terms) to find someone who'll satisfy all your sexual needs at a particular time. Being a good lover is not about sexually fulfilling the other person indiscriminately. Nor is 'sucking off' a sine qua non for a fulfilling sexual relationship.

[E]veryone purchases sex. You think that there is anything different between the man who spends $25,000 on a diamond ring for his girl before she'll consent to give up the goods and the man who gives a lady $150 for an hour of good times?

This statement needs modification and restriction. In many cases, sexual gratification is only part of a package, perhaps a very large one, of things you get when you give something, material or non-material. It may not even your major gain after all. Somehow I find it sickening parallelling these two.