2002-2005 Sexual Addiction Reports [Archive]

Dickhead

02-06-03, 00:32

Well, JZ, I don't know how cheap Amsterdam is any more, especially with the Euro close to $1.10 but on my recent trip to Buenos Aires, I definitely was trying to see how much I could fuck, simply because I could afford it. I didn't really press it because I am never going to have a "personal best" where condoms are involved. I am 45 and usually I like to come twice and usually the second time is better. But for sure I would not need or want to fuck that much all the time.

But Proko, I know what you mean about it not being as good after a while. When I was 22 or 23, I came 8 times in one day which was a record at the time BUT the last time felt really strange, like I pulled a muscle in my perineum or something. Then for years after that my ejaculation had no distance on it; it just kinda came out. That didn't go away for maybe 6-8 years.

Then maybe two years ago I was dating this gal and she was really boring outside of bed so sex was all there was to do with her. One time she asked me what was the most times I came in one day and I told her the above story. She said we had to try to beat that record and I did come 9 times within 24 hours, although not technically in the same day. But 7 and 8 were not really enjoyable and then #9 just hurt like a motherfucker and then I had the same syndrome of no force to the ejaculation. Fortunately it only lasted a few months that time.

But the thing with condom sex is that no matter how good #1 or #2 is, I get horny again within hours. That doesn't happen when I am with a regular partner (and thus not using condoms). I suppose it could be related to the regular partner thing but I really don't think so.

Therefore, maybe condoms enable you to come more on a per day or per week basis even if they make you able to come less on a "per session" basis.

Then I read about guys taking 200 mg of Viagra and it really scares me, but I guess sexual addiction is less unhealthy than heroin addiction or nicotine addiction or alcohol addiction. I just got an e-mail from a gal I met in BA and she said she read in the news about a new Viagra or Viagra-type substance that lasts for 36 hours. She said "I sure hope you never take it!"

My sister is 60 and she keeps telling me that sex will become less important as I get older and I keep telling her I wish it would hurry up and happen!

Dashing Don

02-06-03, 02:20

Re Prokofiev's post:

I'm glad to see someone actually bring up the frequency issue. I'm likewise amazed at some of the stories. I'm 45 and frequently go on short trips to Dominican Rep, Thailand etc. I find that the first few days, I'll be with two or three women per day, but then I slow down. By the third day, I dont even fuck because I can't cum due to the condom; I either get a CBJ or have them suck on my nuts while I jack off, which I enjoy enormously.

I also agree that with this kind of frequency, the sensation diminishes. If I have sex after not doing it for say, a week, the sensation is far more pleasurable than if I'm doing it constantly, such as on these short trips.

What keeps me fucking on these trips though is the variety of girls; and the thought that when I get back to the US, its not nearly so available or fun. So I make the most of it.

It also takes me a few hours to find the desire to do it a second time. Twice, when I was in my twenties, I came twice in quick succession without even pulling out. That never happens now.

All in all though, my sex life in my forties is better than it was in my twenties, and a lot safer. I get much more; with many more partners; in exotic locales, and without any strings attached.

Don

Prokofiev

02-06-03, 04:05

Well, there is no doubt that condoms lessen the sensation and after close to 30 years of abuse and over-use, the little guy is a lot less sensitive than he used to be. But the # of times I can get off has nothing to do with a condom. When the tank is empty, I get that uncomfortable tug and slight pain at the base of my balls which is natures way of telling me, "No more!"Give it a rest" And I felt the same thing when I was 18, almost always during the 3rd pop. To go beyond 3, was an act of bravery . . .

Now days when I'm in Mexico, I often go to an estetica or casa every OTHER day which makes it more exciting and pleasureable, not to mention cheaper. It may only cost $35 or $50 to get laid, but why spend $150 or $200, when $50 is enough? Of course most of my trips are 3 to 6 weeks so I have plenty of time to visit several ladies, several times. But I definitely look for the GFE, and after finding one I'm not inclined to hit the streets looking for more that night. But to each his own. The thrill of the hunt is one of lifes stronger emotions, and there is a very fine line between sexual addiction and just being "male".

Peace, - P

Skinless

02-06-03, 04:23

Proko: As one of your most ardent admirers in such places as the American board where you are your usual rock of sense, I am amazed you would only come 2 or so times when you were 18. Had you a sheltered upbringing? I still fondly remember one session where I came 13+ times (I jest not). And as for doing 2-3-4 pops non stop, I thought that was normal at that age. Maybe you guys got zapped by aliens or something else took your sex drives away. maybe you are suited to marathons as opposed to short sprinting? Sex is like drinking: some sip, some can't stop and some like occasional binges. I also think love has a lot to do with it. When I love a woman, I can fuck her for hours and hours, kinda like a good motor bike, just rev her up and keep her hummin'. It is also good exercise and there is apower thrill in pumping away into a piece of warm meat, a woman in other words.

So too does the weather. The tropics were made for fucking. I find I fuck much better there (quantity wise and the ladies do help)

But fucking woking women is often like going to the rest room, merely answering the call of nature. However, when there is something more there, you gotta open up that throttle.

Generally speaking, 2 pops does me now, though I alwayst ry for a third one when I pay for 2. Gotta push ourselves guys.

Of course, so much sex is a bore. Blow jobs are best now, I find when I am tired or they are particularly ugly. Everything in balance I believe. That is why I am going to try to bonk at least 50 women during my 3 week stay in Thailand. That and my sexual addiction.

Prokofiev

02-06-03, 05:08

Skinless,

13 times in one night???? I'll take your word on that, but it really is beyond my comprehension. I honestly can't remember ever doing more than 3 , although I've done 3 quite a number of times.

As for hours and hours, yes that was fairly common . . . and still is for that matter. I can go for a long time without coming and I enjoy staying at a high level of excitement without letting go. And bonding with female flesh at the most primitive level is a continual and basic thrill . . . probably for all of us.

Skinless

02-06-03, 11:28

Sure skinless. What happened, from 13 times a nite to 200mg viagra per nite?

Read the post or get someone to read it to you. I am talking there of my long gone youth. That was one (1) nite, una noce with a fucking great fuck who was 10 or more years older than me and was delighted to get some young blood. She led me along. I could still jerk off thinking of her. I was in love. And when I was a lot younger (and older), jerking off 8 or so times was no big deal. Now I prefer to share my seed. I am a generous guy.

Were you ever young? Have you never noticed young guys jerking away? Young guys are full of cum. I was once young. I have a very good friend who developed very early. Coming 13 times would have been nothing to him in his day. He fucks his wife every night (2 pops) and likes somore more. He ate his greens when he was young.

I am going to OD on Viagra for one (1) nite just so I have a poker to go with my poker face. I am not doing it for a hard on. I am doing it to maintain a hard on so they get the wages of sin (a few baht and my steel pockered dick up their butts). The only consideration I have there is my heart (I don't want to get a heart attack). My dick is not a consideration. It is merely my love toy (along with my electronic ones). I am doing all that coz I am a sick bastard, not coz I have a horn. I don't want to engage them in conversation. I just want to see how far I can push the envelope with them. This is my passion. They are my guinea pigs, my fellow collaborators in this dark journey of mine.

Proko is a marathon man. More of us are good at short distances. Maybe his ancestors came from East Africa and ours came from the West. maybe he was a steam engine in an earlier life puffing away across the great plains so that he could puff away on top of women this time round. Who knows? As long as we love and are loved.

http://www.hps-online.com/tsy2.htm: Taoist take on all this, which has the much coveted John Skinless seal of approval. As I keep saying, love conquers all. If we can love and respect others, then we can improve our sex performance. Look at it like any other sport. Eveyone can play tennis but the Williams sisters are that bit better. Everyone can fuck but Skinless has been that bit better. That would not impress a bunny rabbit who does 13 before breakfast.

Ever see those old Rocky movies? You know the one where he is making his cumback? Getting into shape? Working out in the gym? Jogging through his neighborhood to cheers of wellwishers? Well that's me? I have been back in training and next week I enter the ring, which is a bed in a brothel in my case. Rocky 13. next week, I do 10 rounds with 10 Thai hos. Yes, I am taking viagra but that is just to beat them, to put them to the skinless sword and make them play with it and with each other. This is my vacation, my second childhood, playing with my toys. I do not cum in their faces as a rule as mutual respect is important.

With Tantra, men will have the ability to maintain a very heightened level of arousal with frequent climaxes and pleasures unmatched.

Meanwhile, here is some Tantric reading for all of you. Learn to do sex the Skinless way. Learn to love, honor and respect and you 2 can get to 13, or at least a respectable pops:

how can I reach multiples?

Here are a few things that will get you started, but remember that it will take lots of practice before you are truly able to reach your desired acme.

Breathe slow and deep through the mouth to energize your body
Practice movement exercises (like meditation)
Massage your partner thoroughly
Practice holding in your ejaculate for as long as possible
Remain calm during all sensual sessions
Get to know your own body parts
Focus more on eroticism
Be verbal, talk to your partner
Remain relaxed and calm throughout
Think about what's going on inside your body, and the way your heart, mind, spirit, and body feel.

It's obvious that men who can reach multi-orgasmic states are more emotionally intimate with their women and have an easier time reaching conscious sexual bliss. When a man finally discovers his capacity to relax into states of pleasure, it can take him to new levels that will be understood through direct experience.

This has been a John Skinless tip. Please practice. Before it is too late.

Dick Head:good points about condoms. Will we ever go back to those great condomless days of the 1970s: free bareback sex. Oh btw, I could never have done 13 pops with condoms. How I hate those things.

Skinless

02-06-03, 12:44

Dick J: I achieved that little trick in the mid 1970s. Yes, it was one night. The first two (or so i was NOT really counting) pops were among the best I ever had. The rest was just a work out.

Dick H: I have a friend who hates all the spam advising how to make your dick bigger. He wants to make his smaller and is delighted his popping days are over.

btw DJ, my BB friend must be about 6 months pregnant now. She no longer gets any emails, not even from me. Her go go days are done.

Hey, maybe Jackson can start a Memory lane board for us in about 20 years (or less) when all we have left are memories and herpes:)

Also, most of this sex is in the head. It is a nervous release. I find now I can fuck the ugliest women I could not have done years ago. I just plug and play.

My last time in hilok, I just lay down and let them do all the work. That was about 8, mostly bbbjs. However, and here is an important point for some, I did not, I think, produce all that much cum though one fully clothed provider insisted on showing me all my juices in her mouth. She gave me a kiss before saying goodbye and sending the next one in.

FlyingDutchman

02-06-03, 13:59

yes this 13 looks like it is possible in one night, a very long night, but will depents of age, and yes you have to be a male nymfo.i never braught it that far, but got very close. but i thaught now 2-3 times a night is fine, but when you realy fall in love, ore get the good treatment 6 + is still possible and i am on the wrong site of 40. and i cant use viagra,i would kill the girls with it.

XXL

02-07-03, 19:06

Getting older ...

Not to put too fine a point on it: I'm over fourty and it's not any more like when I was twenty. Back then, I didn't have the money so I didn't score very often. Now the money is no problem but the rest is.

There's Viagra of course, but I'm not sure it makes any difference as far as net sexual enjoyment is concerned. Gives you a hard-on so that you can fuck for ages but I wonder whether it doesn't have an adverse effect on ejaculation. Not to mention that sustaining a hard-on for too long one day certainly has a rebound effect the next day.

I sometimes take girls in only to sniff them, give'em head and send them home with a fee without having as much as undressed myself. Twenty years ago, I would've fucked the hell out of them.

And I'm not even talking about condoms!

xxl

Jordan01

02-08-03, 13:28

Proko,

"But after a good sex session with a woman- pro or girlfriend- I'm thinking about food, sports, money, almost anything but more sex. Is it just me?"

Just thought I'd share this with you. As one of those working girls who didn't have a "one-cum" rule, probably about 75% (at a guess) of my clients asked if they could come more than once in the hour. In all honesty, I would say at LEAST 80% of those men could NOT go a second time after they had already cum once. Having a guy actually cum more than once in the hour was extremely rare...even in two or three hour bookings, guys often only came once. I would say this applied to the majority of men over the age of 25, and almost EVERY man over the age of 35.

So it's certainly not just you. :)

Joe Zop

02-08-03, 13:42

So, RN, is that only cumming once or only getting it on once? In other words, does that mean the time bell rang while they were still trying to ring the bell the second time, or that it was more something they wanted to do but were simply unable to get it up again?

Jordan01

02-08-03, 14:09

They were either unable to get it up again or, more often than not, they just decided that they were satisfied with once!

It certainly wasn't that their time ran out. In most cases they would try and cum really quickly at the start...because they wanted to make sure they had time for a second round...but then found they didn't want to do it again (or couldn't get it up again). That meant that a majority of the bookings would end with 20 minutes or so of massage, chatting, showering together or whatever it took to fill up the time. Even when I was working privately, where there was no brothel "time-bell" to go off and I was more than willing to extend to make sure the client was satisfied, they still usually wouldn't go more than once.

There's also the interesting phenomenon of "client guilt" that often strikes as soon as a man cums. A lot of those guys originally planned to cum twice, but instead, they run off after the first time without even showering! lol

Dickhead

02-08-03, 14:38

RN, your lads' approach is a bit off. Instead of coming quickly the first time, they should have prolonged the first time. That makes #1 more intense which makes #2 MORE likely, especially if there is no rush or PERCEPTION of being rushed.

Now if you run into the situation where you get it up for #2 but the bell rings before you get to #2, JZ, the best thing to do is apologize nicely to the girl, make sure she understands it wasn't her fault, and then call another hooker immediately.

I don't think I've ever come more than twice in the same session with a working girl but coming twice in the same day with two different working girls is often my goal nowadays. A lofty goal, but an honorable one.

Jordan01

02-08-03, 14:53

DH,

I have to admit...I would usually try to keep the first time going for as long as I could. I'd often use my infamous vice-like thigh grip to slow things down *wink*, or encourage them to take things easy and enjoy themselves rather than rush it. (Not to stop them cumming twice, mind you...more to make them feel completely unhurried, so there was less chance of them leaving feeling angry or unsatisfied. It's all about violence management!)

I get the impression that most guys ask for twice, not because they actually WANT to do it twice...but because they think that's the only way they'll get their money's worth. I've heard many clients talk about girls who try and make the sex as fast as humanly possible...so maybe clients expect to have cum in the first ten seconds, and want to be able to do it again after that. Maybe that's why so many of my clients didn't end up going the second time? Because I made the first time last?

Prokofiev

02-08-03, 15:28

RN,

. First off, I too often planned several pops with a pro (prior to the event) but must confess I have never done more than one. Either time constraints, rules or desire get in the way. But never an erection problem.

"I get the impression that most guys ask for twice, not because they actually WANT to do it twice . . ." No, I think they really would like to do it 2, 3 or 100 times . . . before the event that is. Reality is always a bit different.

"There's also the interesting phenomenon of "client guilt" that often strikes as soon as a man cums. . ."
. This is a very interesting point and a place where men and women seem to differ. Women usually ramp up and ramp down during sex. Longer orgasms and a slow cooling-off period. With me, it's like falling off a cliff. One instant you are on the mountain top and 5 seconds later in the deep valley below. I feel differently, think differently. An amazing change of perspective in seconds! Before coming, nothing could be more important. If a car was about to run us over or some wild animal eat me, I would still finish that 5 seconds more. And a horny man knows no guilt . . . but a moment later it's a different world. Desire comes quicker and leaves a lot faster in the male. You could be screwing your best friend's pregnant wife and all seems great until that fateful moment. And then comes that "What the hell was I thinking?" feeling . . . always after it's too late. Part of natures little plan, I think. But something that not all women seem to understand . . . or appreciate.

As far as your "vice-like grip" is concerned, that usually gets me off a lot faster. Whether with the thighs or other parts of the anatomy . . . Peace, -P

FlyingDutchman

02-08-03, 16:36

ups, i am a exception, over 40 end still 2-3 pops a hour, with 2 hottys, have to see the ..........

Joe Zop

02-08-03, 17:02

RN, I think you're exactly correct -- there are many workers who do their level best to rush the process along, and five minutes after you're in the room it's "Did you cum yet?" so the query about extra pops is mostly a question about the quality of service you're going to get. Not exclusively, of course -- for many men it's easy to get excited and come quickly the first time, and then last forever the second. Personally, I've only rarely gone multiple pops with providers in an hour time frame in the last decade or so, though it's more an issue as I get older, as that wasn't the case when I was in my twenties. It happens, but it's usually if I'm with someone who's just so hot I cum quickly or if I walk in the door already over-excited, which doesn't happen all that much.

But I must say that in my case it's less an inability to get aroused than it is an inability to get off, period. I know they're safe, and I always, always use them for intercourse, but condoms truly do remove a top level of sensation for me, no matter what kind they are, and I've spent a lot of time experimenting with different kinds. My twenties were pre-AIDS, and condoms simply weren't used as much. Also, I personally hate deadlines of all kinds, decidedly including during sex, and an awareness that the clock is ticking is not usually a good distraction for me, and it's one I resent -- though of course, the equation shifts when it's something like risk of discovery, etc. I've had far too many encounters where someone from outside ends up knocking on the door or ringing the phone or whatever to call time. This is especially true because I'm just not much of a "walk in the door and stick it in" kind of guy -- I like a long sensual experience, I like lots of foreplay and teasing, I like going at it, taking a break and going to it again, which probably explains why I'm someone who tends to want to make a night of it, or at least schedule several hours so I don't feel rushed. (Skinless, that's probably one of the reasons I'm a LT rather that ST guy in LOS.)

DH, I've had ample opportunities for such apologies, believe me, and I've gotten pretty good at them. Sometimes, frankly, my legs, lungs and heart give out before I manage to cum. (And Viagra doesn't help the process along very much, though I've learned to titrate the dose to the right combination of usefulness and sensitivity, which for me falls somewhere between 25 and 50 mgs.) On my last trip to Kenya I was with company for six or eight nights over the few weeks I was there, and realized when I got home I didn't cum once during intercourse. I was with one woman for three days in Thailand this last trip, a truly lovely, sexy lady, and near the end of that period I found her crying in the bathroom -- after a bit of discussion it turned out she was very upset because I'd only cum one time, so I clearly couldn't be very happy with her. I pointed out that we'd probably spent about eight hours in bed over that period actually engaging with each other, with far more time just being there, sleeping, holding, making out, etc., and that if I wasn't happy I'd sure as hell have said so and she wouldn't have been there that long. I explained the whole condom thing and she spent out last stretch of time together working hard on a variety of safe condomless ways to bring me off. Sometimes it just goes that way, but I've got to confess it's been a long time since I worshipped the number of my orgasms in any event. I'm far more likely to worship those of my partners.

FWIW, that's also partly why I have the tendency to court (and, on my last trip, find) additional STD risk by doing unprotected oral -- I can more often get off that way, but if you add a condom into the equation that's far less often the case.

I'm not a client guilt type, though I probably had a bit of that when I was younger (in many cases, not just play-for-pay) when it would be about questioning my judgment. It's simply been a long, long time since I thought I was anything or anyone but who I am...

kissmeallover

02-09-03, 02:08

PART ONE. All the names of the guilty have been changed to protect the innocent.

I am a person with a “Sexual Addiction” in an extreme form. I have been that way since I was about 8 years old, when I had my first sexual experience with a younger cousin. I do not remember very much about it like if I had an erection, but I do remember being on top of her when we were both naked and she said it felt funny. I wish I could remember more details of what went on. I had to wait for another twelve years before I had my first fuck

In the mean time, especially since I was about 12, sex was constantly on my mind and often with my hand. I dreamed about it, thought about it and almost wrote about it, but that didn’t come until much later. I had my first girlfriend at 18 and this lead to some sexual experimentation, but not intercourse. I remember being surprised that the vagina was so far back as I had thought it would be facing more forward. But the smell of that pussy, Sandra’s was wonderful. The first time I had my finger in there, she was very wet and for more than a day I didn’t wash my hands as I kept smelling her pussy. It was like an aphrodisiac to me. She broke off the relationship, as did most of my girlfriends and of course I was broken hearted.

At that stage I was very nieve as I did not think to kiss the breasts or pussy. But once I did, I couldn’t get enough of it. Provided the pussy is clean, I could eat it for hours. I had several bumbling attempts as relationships and sex but they all amounted to nothing. This was during my first two years of attending a tertiary institution. At the one I attended, there was a ratio for six females to every male. I was reasonably good looking, (I don’t think so but I have been told so by many females) but I had such an unusual personality, that most were put off with having a relationship with me. However, I did fall in love with one woman, Linda and she showed interest in me and we spent many hours together, but mostly in a working relationship. She had a boyfriend back home but we became very close, even though I wanted it to be much closer, I took what I could get. But I wanted to have sex. I wanted to experience this phenomena, that I had been think, dreaming and masturbating about for so long. It seemed like I wasn’t going to get anything from this lovely woman.

As I said before, I am an unusual personality. I had a hearing problem, which meant I had to sit nearing the front of the lecture theaters and it also meant that I didn’t enjoy parties. I couldn’t follow conversations with a lot of background noise. I also didn’t enjoy drinking as mostly I didn’t like the taste, or as I found later, I didn’t like the after effects. So in three years of training I attended only three parties. I did attend all the balls as I loved having my arms around my partner in the old fashioned type dancing. With many of the modern dances, you don’t even need a partner so I couldn’t see the point. The only thing I objected to about the balls was that the price of the ticket included all the booze you could drink and I could never drink my share. Perhaps I made up for it with the food. No I wasn’t fat, but in those days I could eat three of four plates full of food, mostly savory and then eat all the pussy I could get. But I wasn’t always successful on the latter. It was after one of these balls, which I went to with the woman I was in love with, but not yet a lover, that I became drunk for the first time. I didn’t enjoy the experience.

I was brought up in another era compared to today. Condoms were only available from chemist and were always behind the counter. Hell, we were too scared to ask for these. The first time I bought them I thought I was going to die. These three years were 1969-71. So I did a mail order for pessaries, which I think were call Rendals. They were supposed to be inserted into the vagina before sex and provided some lubrication and were supposed to kill sperm, not that I knew much about contraception in those days. So I was sort of prepared to plunder some poor pussy. But I could find one or more accurately, I had not skills in finding one.

I did go out with another girls called Lisa, who was a tall slim blonde. She became very fond of me and in fact she fell in love with me. I was never in love with her but I liked her a lot. Linda knew about Lisa and had met her through a common interest and although I still continued the friendship with Linda, she never said anything about Lisa. She did give a few hints, but I was too thick to pick up on them.

I started the relationship with Lisa but I was in love with Linda. The relationship with Lisa developed into a sexual relationship but stopped short of sex. I was feeling guilty as I felt I was being unfaithful to Linda. I broke it off at one stage, but as I had not success with Linda, I went back to Linda. My dick was getting the better of me. We went out quite a bit to movies, balls and so on. Lisa had a car, as I did not at the time so we were able to get around quite a bit at the time. I even took her home to my parents for a weekend. We had separate rooms but of course, I crept into her room that night. I kissed all the way down her back, through her legs, her pussy and up to her breasts. I had read about that technique in a book and I was hoping to have the same success as he did. Although Lisa enjoyed it, she stopped me from entering her, and of course I was disappointed.

At a later date, I had her around to my place as my landlady was away. I prepared a special dinner and afterwards we went into my bedroom where we started into the sexual exploration. I inserted a pessary into her, and I think she wondered what I was doing. I came on the outside of her without having entered her. She was aroused and had enjoyed it but she didn’t have an orgasm, as I wasn’t skilled in giving them at that stage. Of course I had to rest as I had just come. Later I got on top of her and we continued playing around. She told me she was scared, but I said I wasn’t hard and tried to get her to feel that I wasn’t fully hard, but she wouldn’t do so.

Read part two to find out what happened. Send any comment to piper4me@hotmail.com

Dashing Don

02-09-03, 22:52

DH, Proko, Zop et al,

As a 45 year-old, I have followed the discussion with some interest and agree with most of what has been said as well as learning some things too. Personally, I have found a solution to the "cum one time and thats it for the night" problem, and it lies in Tijuana, of all places.
In the bars in TJ, there is usually a dance floor; available girls; $2 beers and shots, and good, danceable Latin music. The lights are often red, the atmosphere hot, the music is loud, and even at high noon, there is a party-like atmosphere.
Typically, a monger arrives, sits, orders a beer, and surveys the scene. The seat are usually beside the dance floor. It costs $1 to dance with a girl. If you make eye contact with a girl, she will approach you. You can buy her one of those ridiculous lady drinks or you can dance with her. DANCE with her!! It doesn't matter if she is only mediocre to look at or if you can dance or not; just by being so close to her body, touching her, smelling her perfume, her hair brushing against your face--you WILL want to do her. The dancing is not in any way raunchy. Everything is in good taste, often hilariously so. The girls are sometimes demure. Watch for the guy who wants to take photos of you and your "true love" or the guy who unfailingly tries to sell you flowers for your "novia," after the song ends and both of you return to the table.
So you take her upstairs or next door, to have your first pop of the night.
A half an hour later, you both return to the bar and separate. Have a couple of beers and guaranteed, pretty soon, you will see someone you find attractive. Ask her for a dance. Within a couple of minutes, due to the proximity of your bodies, brushing up against her, the hot atmosphere etc., you will want to do her. And so it goes.

The scenario that most of the posts contemplate seem to be where you bang the girl and then don't do THE SAME girl again. This is perfectly understandable to me at least. A monger needs variety, constantly. You do her and then what? Lay in bed and discuss with her your stock portfolio, which is declining in tandem with your pecker? Of course not. The bar is calling!! Some beers and lots of laughs with your fellow mongers. Later, on to the dancefloor. Pretty soon you are grinding with someone. Pretty soon after that, you are humping with them!! This is my solution to the afore-mentionted condition.

Condom problems?? Its only a problem if a monger insists on fucking. I too have a problem feeling anything. Especially if I am on a trip and will be having lots and lots of sex, such as my trip to Thailand next week. But why should a monger do all the work? This is where a girl who can do a good blowjob, handjob, or ballsuck, becomes a necessity, nay---a paragon of virtue.

Don

Joe Zop

02-10-03, 11:56

Don, I don't think the issue was cum once and that's it for the night -- it was doing it again quickly after one orgasm, in other words, how long is recovery time. While I would agree with you that switching women is one way to reawaken interest, it's hardly the only way and I'd take the idea that I need to go graze in new pastures after once tasting the grass in order to get it up again as a rather poor comment on my libido. (Not that I object to the concept or the habit, just the idea that it's the only solution to such a problem.) Your dancing description does, however, say a lot -- when you're first with someone you're getting aroused in anticipation of what's to come, and the whole sensual experience -- sound, visuals, smell, touch, etc. For me, those same stimuli work just as well in bed or in the room for a next round as on the dance floor. I just need to concentrate on them instead of simply waiting for something spontaneously to happen based on anticipation of the unknown. And there are other stimuli available -- my partner's revealed body, for example, or intimate touch, which aren't there on the dance floor.

As far as your condom comments -- well, yes, there are obviously other options, some of which fall into the safe sex category, some of which do not. Blowjobs, for example, aren't necessarily safe without a condom -- and I can testify to that from experience, as I've gotten the clap from unprotected oral sex. (And in Thailand, btw, so good wishes and luck to you on that front!) And for me, covered bjs have the same condom sensation drawbacks as any other time. So if the issue is remove the condom for increased sensation and thereby remove protection, well, you've got to make your choices being aware of the risks. I certainly don't object to any of the acts on your list by any stretch of the imagination, but I still like fucking above all else, and that's certainly not a situation where I'm going to go bareback, especially in places like LOS.

kissmeallover

02-10-03, 21:58

PART TWO. Was I going to get it?

I was on top of her naked, being almost hard and we had been in some serious sexual play and she was feeling scared. I knew she was reluctant to have sex with me but I also knew she was in love with me. All I wanted to do was find out what I had been dreaming of for so long.

She was aroused and wet from the pessary and I just pushed inside her. Lisa said that it was hurting and I just asked her to open her legs more. I wasn’t worrying about what she felt. Almost immediately I felt “What was all the fuss about?”. The earth didn’t move, it didn’t feel tremendous or anything like it. I was disappointed. However, I continued until I came, which wasn’t very long like five minutes. I had the sense to pull out and come outside. Immediately I felt guilty. I had been unfaithful to Linda and I had used Linda for my first “Fuck”. I had had sex for the first time and apart from feeling disappointed, I was feeling guilty. Looking back, I should have had Lisa stay all night and we could have done it many times. But the way I was feeling at the time, I couldn’t do that. It wasn’t long after that that I asked her to go home, which wasn’t considerate of her feelings. What was the first thing I did after she left? I phoned Linda and tearfully asked her to forgive me. She was tearful as well because now for the first time she revealed her feeling to me, which she had hinted at before but I had been too thick to read them. She asked me not to “see” Lisa again, and I agreed.

I saw Linda over the next week at college but only socially. We renewed our bond but not in any sexual way. I was hoping to go out with Linda that weekend but she was going home for the weekend. Lisa phoned me that weekend and asked me to come around. I knew I would and I took the pessaries with me. She was alone at her flat and we had a meal together before my dick got the better of me. I took her into the bedroom and made love to her. This time it was much better and she responded more. This time I didn’t pull out and when I came but I continued, perhaps for as much as 30 minutes before I pulled out still hard. I was feeling guilty. Lisa wanted to know what the trouble was but I couldn’t tell her. I didn’t ever tell Linda about this. I made love with Lisa once more but this was after Linda had broken off our relationship.

So my relationship with Linda developed but it was several weeks before it became fully sexual. We had been out one night together and had a great time. We had had a few drinks and I took her home. I was going to put her to bed and go home myself, a bike ride of about 7 miles. I put her to bed in her short and sexy nightie and was started kissing. I was still fully clothed and still had my legs on the floor. Of course I wanted to make love with her but I didn’t want to push her at all. Linda pulled me on top of her and our kissing became more intense. She started to undo my trousers and move them out of the way. I asked her if she was sure and she said she was. So with our sexes bared to each other’s, I slipped inside her and we made love for the first time. It was her first and my third so I wasn’t what you would call highly experienced, but I was a little more experienced than she was. It was just exquisite being inside the person that I was in love with and she was just as much as me and wanted me inside her. I didn’t last very long but I didn’t pull out straight away. We had made no preparations for this encounter and I didn’t even have condoms, let alone with me, so we had taken no precautions.

After this, my plan for going home went out the window. I took off all my clothes and got back in bed with her. During the rest of the night we made love another seven, yes seven (7) times. The funny thing about this was that Linda had just finished her period, a time I later found out was when she was most highly sexed. But she still had a tampon inside her when we made love and I had pushed it out of the way. We had a great deal of difficulty getting it out the next day.

We had a very active sex life with Linda often instigating our encounters. She was a very sexual animal but in some ways she was prudish. When new very both fully clothed and I was on top of her and “eating” her ears, she would have an orgasm. When I ate her pussy she would come and became very highly aroused if I kissed her breasts. However, she said she didn’t like me eating her, which I couldn’t understand and she would come so often, and she wouldn’t give me a blowjob. Other than that, she was a fantastic lover.

I did keep in contact with Lisa, as I was concerned for her. I expressed my remorse to her and almost every time I saw her and she was alone, she tried to get me to make love to her. I would have liked to but I was too in love with Linda to do anything. Looking back, (always easy in hindsight) I could have had two lovers. That is what I would do now, but only if I was not in love with one of them because I am a rather faithful fellow.

A few months later, Linda told me that she wanted to do voluntary work overseas the next year, and I knew right then that this would be the end of our relationship. However, I encouraged her in this endeavor and it wasn’t until about 9 months later when I received a letter from her. I knew what was inside it as soon as I received it and it took me about a week before I opened it. Yes it was a “Dear John” letter.

In the mean time I went out with other girls and I kept seeing Lisa but I didn’t have sex with her even though we slept together on a few occasions in a single bed. However, it was through Lisa that I met my next partner, Amanda. Amanda was an unusual looking lady, but a great body and we had lot of fun together. We indulged in sexual play many times but never consummated our relationship as I let her take the lead. It was on one of these occasions when she took the lead and pulled me on top of her and we made love. Again I felt very guilty afterwards and had to take a break. I think she understood how I felt but when we went back to bed, we made love again, this time and for the only time with her on top. Amanda found she could only cum if she was on the bottom so we only made love in the missionary position. What our sex life lack in variety, it made up for in intensity. We never used any form of contraception except Amanda’s own. She must have known at what time she was more likely to conceive and I was not allowed near her under these circumstances. Even if I used a condom, pessaries and I withdrew before I came I was not allowed anything. This was very frustrating for me. We did try a condom on one occasion and she didn’t like it so we never used them again. I was mostly happy as I hated them, except when I was not allowed anything. Often when we had made love, I would remain inside her for up to half an hour and we would often make love again.

Amanda is my longest running lover and we had sex off and on from 1971 until 1993. I am still in contact with her and although she is married, we have made love since she was married and there is a slight possibility we could do so again. She only lives about five minutes away from me, but I haven’t seen her for several years.

The next lady, Jenny I married. She was my forth virgin and before we were married, she couldn’t get enough of it. But after we married, she lost interest and in the two and a half years we were married, we had sex about a dozen times, when I would have wanted it that many times a week. However, I was faithful to her.

Stranger99

02-13-03, 17:55

I think that when you are going for your first pop, you can dictate your timing up to a certain point. In a few words you are generally so aroused that as much effort you will put to last longer you are still very likely to last less than what you wanted to.

I can reflect in many of the things posted here: from client sense of guilt to the irrational behaviour driven by sexual excitement.

I personally had more than one pop with pros, but it was under special circumstances, I guess: we either developed immediately some sort of emotional bonding, that went beyond the "business" relationship, and we did not have stringent time limits.
In a nutshell: I liked the girl and she genuinely liked me. In all cases it was absolutely essential managing to establish some sort of mind connection: talking and discussing about things.

The way I see it is that the first time you make love with a body and the second with a person.

I always thought, but never did, whether it was worth jerking off just before meeting with a pro so you would buy more time for your money. Then I think that quality wins over quantity, so for me it is better to make sex in those 15 minutes as if there was no tomorrow rather than lasting 10 minutes more but being bored as if you were practicing at the gym.

phil

02-14-03, 02:40

Attn: RN

Can you give me your personal email for some questions I had about another topic. Please send it to philmac@email.com. Thanks.

Prokofiev

02-14-03, 05:00

"Sexual Addiction" . . .

Despite all this discussion about how many times we can get-off in a single night, my point remains:
-After coming once or twice with a pro or a girlfriend or wife, why do many feel the need to chase 2 or 3 other women/pros afterward?
Physical need? I doubt it. It is a psychological addiction, is it not? A numbers game? I'm not saying that this is right or wrong. I'm just surprised at guys in their 40's and 50's needing/wanting to spend more time and pay more money chasing tail after just getting laid once or twice.

-And as to guilt after the act, I'd only feel guilt if I'm doing something to feel guilty about . . . like screwing a friends wife or wasting the families grocery money on a hooker. Guilt about sex in general, no way. I'm way past that and expect that most of the guys here are as well. But a complete change of mind set for me is very common. Like going from 100mph to zero in 3 squirts. Suddenly I'm more contemplative, almost slightly depressed after coming down from the mountain top. And the need or desire for more sex is gone. I don't care how cheap or cute the next woman is. I'm satisfied for the time being and will worry about her tomorrow. Peace, -P

kissmeallover

02-14-03, 05:14

PART THREE. WORKING GIRLS.

I discovered the pleasure in massage and sauna as in the town I lived in, there was a great Sauna and Massage. The only extras that were available was a hand job and I once had that from a beautiful supposedly 15 year old native girl. She was naked and allowed me to play with her pussy while she tended to me but unfortunately nothing else took place. This was late in 1975. I had my first working girl not in my own country but in Singapore where I spend 24 hour on my trip overseas. I was with my father and he didn’t want to go out in the evening but as I was there for only a short time, I didn’t want to waste it. I went out in a trishaw and my driver was half my weight and about twice my age. He gave me a great tour but kept asking me if I wanted a “Nice Chinese/Malay girl”. I kept turning him down but eventually accepted and he took me to some place out of the way. I was shown three girls until I accepted one who was reasonable. But having seen all the stunningly beautiful Asian women on the streets the previous day, I was disappointed by all three I had been shown. They were not natives but imports.

I think the cost was $30.00 Singapore dollars for a short time, (undisclosed how long that was) and I would have preferred a long time, but I didn’t have enough cash on me. We undressed and I asked for a condom. She said she was clean and it was not needed. Anyway, this was in the days of before HIV and bacteria resistant to antibiotics so I went to the bed with her. She directed my hand to her pussy, which I though was to pay with it but she only wanted to show me that she was wet. All she wanted was me to mount, fuck and finish, which I did. She started groaning and I thought I was hurting her, but she was just pretending she was enjoying it. It was a sexual experience but nothing memorable like most I have had since. But this small experience started me on a never ending quest for better ones.

I spend 4 months in India and was celibate there even though I was offered “beautiful Indian girls” in Bombay, (renamed something else now) unfortunately I never partook of those offers.

It was in England where I caught my first and only STD. I caught NSU off Amanda, who came to England and stayed with me. She went away for a few months and came back again and stayed with me in the same room, but she was on the top bunk and I on the bottom. I wanted another sexual relationship with her but she wouldn’t let me. We came very close one night and I should have just taken her, but I left it up to her and she never took the lead.

So I had relationships with other girls. The best was with Cecilia, a plump Portuguese woman. She had had only one sexual encounter before me. The first time we made love we did so for over two hours, and I didn’t come in that time. Part of the reason was that I was wearing a condom. One time when I went to her place where she worked as an Au Pair for a French family, she pulled me onto the couch and raped me. Of course I was more than willing but as I didn’t have any condoms with me, we didn’t use any. On New Years Eve 1977, we had a very intense session on the floor at a friend place before going to Trafalgar Square. It was here that she became pregnant. She didn’t want to have it so I supported her decision and paid for an abortion. This caused us to drift apart and she went back to Oporto.

My second paid woman was a lady called Lynette. She worked at a “modeling” studio in Soho. I think it was £20 to photographs the model. I had looked into this before and they gave you a shitty old camera, so I took my Olympus outfit. Anyway I took some good photos of her and she then offered extra at £20. As she was attractive, 25 with a good figure but I could tell that she had had children, I decided to accept. But I wasn’t able to take my clothes off, just drop my trouser. She allowed everything but she didn’t do oral and everything was BB. I even managed to make her cum and photograph her with it leaking out of her afterwards. I saw her three times and it was better each time.

So began my quest for better pussy. I had discovered from Linda, that sex with love is the best ever and there is nothing to match it. However there is all that stuff that goes with it. Communication, thoughtfulness (have you even forgotten an important anniversary or birthday) and all those things that make a relationship work. Some, like my parents are very good at those things but I am not. My parents have been married for over 60 years and are still very much in love. I lacked the skills that made a relationship work. Often when my partner was angry with me for some reason, often minor, sex was not available. It was almost like the “rewards” of sex was only there if you pleased her. Looking at it another way, she only “loved” you if you were a good boy. This I couldn’t understand. I wanted sex at least 7 times a week and often more but this rarely happened. Yes at the beginning of a relationship, sex is usually more frequent and intense but this can drop off. I would often mistake a sign of affection as a come on. With my wife of 14 years, who has not been mentioned here, when she came to give me a cuddle, I would get aroused and want to make love, but that usually did not happen. We had two children and I was a good father but too highly sexed. Only in the beginning of our relationship could she keep up with me.

She also became more conservative in our sex life. We used to make love all over the house and outside as well, but later she would only have it in bed at night. She was multi-orgasmic and often had up two twenty orgasms in one session. Apart from one occasion when we both had brief passionate affairs at the same time, I was faithful, which often meant that I was sexually frustrated. When we had trial separations on a couple of occasions before we finally separated, and in those times I was not faithful. I used paid services as I did not know and still do not know how to pick up women. Why did we finally separate? Well our whole marriage had really been a lie. She was in love with someone else for a whole marriage and towards the end she went and saw him several times. You can guess what happened then. I felt devastated but that also aroused me. Perhaps I would have liked to join them in bed. So ended that relationship. She has remarried but not to him as he was killed in an accident not long after we separated.

So began my earnest quest in the “ultimate” sexual encounter, mostly with paid women. As I have previously stated, sex with love is unbeatable, but some of these paid encounters have come really close. Perhaps the most erotic was when a beautiful 38 year old mother guided me into her 17 year old daughter. (Here in the New Zealand the age of consent is 16.) The mother was a far better lay. It happened on the day Challenger exploded.

In my sexual quest over the years, I have had encounter with approximately 400 women, with about 50% of those being without a condom. That is by no means a record nor do I intend it to be. Many of these have been a once only encounter because they ware not worth another visit. With about two dozen of the paid ladies, I have had repeat visits because we got on together sexually very well. Part of the attraction usually was because it was BB, but it had to be more than that. With a few of these I have had a relationship. Some of these BB encounters have been unintentional on the girl’s part, although I never deliberately removed or broke a condom. When I didn’t have a regular, I would often see up to 3 different girls in a week. So it has turned out to be a fairly expensive hobby.

On the health risk side, I have only ever caught one thing of a girl friend and that was NSU. There is another I “caught” but it hasn’t been diagnosed. I caught it of a “high end” streetwalker who took me to her very smart apartment. Her pussy did taste a little different but a week or so later, I developed a scum on my usually pink tongue. I tried treating it, first through the chemists, then the doctor, but nothing was effective. This scum caused my teeth to fall apart so I have had false teeth for a while. I was even sent to the infectious disease clinic at the hospital but there was nothing that they could do either. I have had regular checkup and never had anything else and where possible, I will go BB. Perhaps my luck will run out some day, but you have to die some day.

If I had the time (and money) I could easily have two different women a day, with of course the help of the big V. I often do not cum not, mainly because I don’t want to. So when I have an hour session with a lady, I make love to her for most of that time. I do not treat them as just something to masturbate in, as I can do that on my own. I treat them as a lady. I like to make them come as well, the more the better. There are two ladies who spring to mind that had at last one orgasm every time we made love and many others that came close.

To my mind, I find that ladies older that 30 make the best lovers. Most of the younger ones do not have the experience or the skills to make these brief encounters memorable. There have been exceptions but they are rare. Who was my best? It had to be Anna, the 38 year old lady who put me inside her daughter. Unfortunately, I was only able to see her once. She was a professional who enjoyed her work. And so did her customers! Almost all of the others who I would classify in the top group were at , near or above 30.

So since the age of about 8, I had been abscessed with sex. (I intended to use that word although it may sound wrong, it conveys {to me} what I am trying to say.) My condition, which I think is fairly rare, is satarysis. You may need a larger dictionary to look up that word. I had to go to the library. I have probably spent over US$200,000.00 on this quest. Has it brought me happiness? No! I just want more and more and .

Is there anyone else out there like me. Contact me on piper4me@hotmail.com

Joe Zop

02-14-03, 13:05

Kissmeallover:

Interesting reports. I don't know that wanting/expecting to have sex once a day is at all an indication of satyriasis (the correct spelling) and if I'm reading you correctly, your estimate of the amount you've spent works out to about $8000 a year over 25 years or so, which, while a lot, is not ridiculously more than others would spend. (People who pursue porn stars and higher-tier escorts can spend tons more -- I know one guy who spends more than $35k a year, but he can easily afford it.) Depends on your income, I guess, and your tastes. And your 400 women -- even cutting out your marriage -- works out to two or three a month over that same period. Again, that's hardly a record pace, particularly if you're looking at working women with whom you mostly don't maintain a relationship -- guys running to Thailand, Brazil or elsewhere can easily tote up a woman a day, and many do. (Skinless has announced he's shooting, ahem, for four a day on his current trip.) Simply being highly sexed isn't an indication of satyriasis, and that also involves characteristics you don't seem to have -- such as the obsession with seducing women and thereby conquering them, which isn't generally an issue in the pay-for-play scene as no sediuction is necessary. There are a number of guys on this board who have the same general numbers as you do, or even far greater, and I rather doubt they're all afflicted with satyrism. Classically, btw, satyriasis also involved the inability to climax at all, though that mostly has dropped out of the definition as the term has simply come to be the male equivalent of nymphomania or sexual addiction.

If you think you've got a problem then you probably do, but if I were you I'd not be using the library as opposed to a qualified professional, especially given that the real treatment for satyriasis usually involves a combination of drug and psychiatric therapy. Sounds to me less like you've got satyriasis and more like you've never learned how to properly form and manage relationships, despite your marriage, especially given your lack of understanding about why someone might not want to have sex with you if they were angry with you (hello -- mood only matters for you?) and your admitted lack of communication and thoughtfulness (again, gee, none of that and you still couldn't understand why she didn't want to screw as much as you.) People are also just wired differently in terms of sexuality -- it might be that your issue is simply hooking up with partners whose libido is too different from yours.

Your use of the word "abscessed" conveys a lot about how you feel about your situation, which isn't all that surprising given that you note several times the difference between sexual encounters when there are genuine feelings involved. I'll end my little quasi-amateur psychological-textual analysis with this -- you write as though you are in a depression (I note this as someone with a tendency toward depression) and if I were you I'd seek counseling to help you get a handle on things. None of the things you've described in your missives seem massively out of kilter, so it's more your attitudes and perceptions about them that matter than anything else, and since you're not happy with them, it would make sense to talk to someone.

Dickhead

02-14-03, 14:04

Yes, if this dude wants to be a satyr, he needs to get WAY more pussy than what he's talking about. Boring.

Prokofiev

02-14-03, 21:29

And KissME,

You also need an editor . . . too many words

DiabloMactavish

03-01-03, 18:44

Kissmeallover -

thank you for your honesty and openness.

I was curious if the medical people ever diagnosed the "scum" infection was, even if they weren't able to stop it?

Other than that, i think that you will find that there alot of people here that have similar experiences.

I personally get a charge out of fucking as many women as I possibly can. In part I suppose these are "conquest" issues. However, as often as I have paid for women, many, many more have been unpaid relationships. I would have to guess that I have had sex with about 400 women since I was 13. I am guessing - it has been at least 6 years since I tried to count them all. 21 years of having sex in total.

I find bringing a woman to orgasm very erotic and exciting. I have brought many a jaded prostitute to an eyeopening orgasm that they were neither expecting nor faking.

In part I suppose that I have in some way confused sex with love. On the otherhand, both of them produce specific chemical states of the brain. Romantic love is a chemical condition produced by condition and environment. If it was actually related to destiny or 'soul mates' or what have you, humans would mate for life.

However, in my opinion, it is against our nature to be faithful. I believe that in most cases, it could be argued that Romantic Love is a mental state which evolved in order to allow child rearing to occur.

Note that I make distinctions between Romantic Love (ie girlfriends/wives) and the love of your progeny. This too, I am sure is an evolved condition that protects the next generation of procreators.

I know that I am going to be slammed here for saying all this.

I believe that humans are animals that evolved to reproduce themselves, nothing else.

Let's take a pretend journey to 200 million years ago, and look at 2 sets of proto-humans.

Group one hunts and gathers, and once a month have sex with their mates, they also have a special gene called "faithfulness", which is passed on to offspring through either parent.

The second group also hunts and gathers, however they have a special gene, the "horniness" gene. This particular gene encourages the group to mate constantly with whoever they can.

Now imagine that this fictional gene is dominant, and is passed through either the mother or the father.

Now fast forward to the present day. Which of the two groups do you guess would be the majority here on planet earth?

Sex is pleasurable because the creatures from which we evolved found sex was pleasurable, and did it more often. They passed their "enjoyment" gene to their offspring, etc etc.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex. There is nothing wrong with pursuing more than one woman for sexual purposes. That is our instinct. Social conventions have artificially imposed limits on the sexual activities of its members.

Why is this? Well, in part because of STDs. In part because of the large numbers of children created by this. However, in our modern society many of these constraints have been lifted due to tecnological changes (modern medicine, for instance, which has cured diseases such as syphyllis, which was estimated to have infected up to 30% of all European men less than 200 years ago).

However, evolution is not perfect, nor is it a moral process. Viruses and diseases have evolved to take advantage of our procilivities. However, humans are happier when they do what comes naturally.

I am not referring to morals, ethics or social norms. Humans have evolved to fuck. Just take that into account when you try to judge your activities.

I live in Mexico, and the "paid" girls I fuck from time to time get indignant when I choose someone else. This makes me laugh. I usually shut them up by asking how many men they've fucked that night.

Hysteromania

03-27-03, 08:17

"I believe that humans are animals that evolved to reproduce themselves, nothing else."

Actually, dolphins apart from humans are the only ones who have sex for enjoyment, not just reproduction.

Something I have been wondering about myself as my view on sex has been so warped. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to a prostitute who was 18 while on vacation in Europe with my parents. I was nervous as hell and also sexually frustrated in America where I had to wait another 4 and a half years before a girlfriend gave in to my sexual advances.

All in all, I went through a period of about 11 years of only having a couple of serious girlfriends but did do some mongering on the side more than anything else for an ego boost. Now that I have a fiancee since last year, I have been screwing around like crazy, especially since I discovered girls who are less pro and offer GFE. I justify it that I will be faithful once I am married but my view on sex is that I can love her, take my precautions and be extremeley careful not to hurt her- emotionally or physically. Is this a fallacy or have others been successful at cheating on their girlfriends/wives for years and not think anything of it?

Maybe I just have a guilty conscience but as others said before, sex with new girls gives us a charge like no other. It is a window of fantasy in which it feels like anything is possible. Plus, after mongering experiences of late, I find I am more relaxed and confident around women and even get hit on now that I am not even showing interest in picking them up. I have even learned some new tricks in bed but have been careful in trying these out as maybe she will get suspicious. Still avoid the American girls more for lack of passion and head games but makes me wonder if I am on the edge of sexual addiction and about to cross over into the land of no return or if others have successfully stopped cold turkey.

Dickhead

03-27-03, 13:51

I don't think you should get married until you no longer have the desire to do tons of other girls. Just my opinion as a divorced guy who mongered before and after marriage but not during, but never has felt as if he were on the edge of sexual addiction.

Prokofiev

03-27-03, 17:03

Hysterical,

How do you know if it is an addiction?

1) When chasing outside pussy seriously disrupts your marriage, relationship or your work environment and job.

2) When you are spending a significant % of you income on hookers and it impacts your lifestyle or worse, that of your family.

3) When chasing tail becomes just a numbers game and you are thinking about your next hooker while you are screwing one.

I've talked with lots of guys over the years and everyone thinks about sex . . . all the time. But not that many married men actually do something about it . . . at least not on the scale most of us on this Forum do. By most definitions, almost ALL of the posters at WSG are sex addicts. Spending up to $30,000/ year or more on hookers? Having had sex with not 100's, but 1,000's of women? Spending a huge amount of time and energy searching for, finding, paying and screwing pussy and then spending more time writing about it on the Internet? I think we are all guilty to varying degrees. I can understand a guy who has only had sex with 5 to 10 women in his life wanting to experience more . . . and there are plenty of married guys in that boat. But after 100 or 500 or 1,000 different women, do you honestly think the next one is going to be significantly different? And if you know her only for an hour or less, what can you learn, except for quickly checking out her anatomy? And often it's not even a pleasant experience . . .

But I always claim that a wife/girlfriend and a mistress/hooker are completely different ideas and it doesn't have to be one or the other. However when the second one interferes with the first one, you have a serious problem. You can get away with the occasional massage parlor or strip club or business trip escort and she won't find out and you will both be happier. But if you are newly married and find yourself spending big bucks and constantly chasing tail, you shouldn't have married in the first place. If other women stop you from giving the time, affection, sex and understanding to your own wife, then it's a problem and you need to slow down. When I meet a woman and decide to live with her, I am so busy screwing her for the first several years that I have neither the desire nor energy to think about other women . . . and I don't.

But asking this Forum about sexual addiction is like going to a crack house and asking if anyone thinks they have a drug problem . . . Good Luck, -P

Hysteromania

03-30-03, 09:55

Thanks for the input. I especially liked the analogy about
about the drug addiction and the crack house. However, I have been posting and reading more here as a support group- whether it be tipping each other off about scams or better negotiating tactics or higher quality tang as we are becoming more educated consumers. I guess in the end it is nice to know there is an outlet for a high sex drive for people like myselves although I am slowing down and not a sex crazed teenager anymore who can screw 4x in a row the same night even with jetlag. Also that the bonking is more a short term relationship and GFEs do exist is nice to know. F·%/( just to F·%·% is not the idea or what excites me.

For now, I am not overboard like others in terms of reaching in the five digits on hobbying. And I do prefer quality over quantity although I may still try to shoot for marathon sessions of loads shot per night/weekend with the same girl. And if I may be hooked a little, I am still pretty particular about hygiene and who I go after. Lastly, the only times I am boinking a girl and thinking of another is when I feel I may have made that wrong choice in the club which has happened a couple of times. Still, you make the best of it and keep moving on.

Right now, just trying to pursue a hobby maybe 3-5 times a year on trips and keep a low profile, ie. pay in cash and no credit card trial for example. I have no intentions of leaving my girl whatsoever and as long as I am careful and eventually slow down, my 2 lives may never cross.

Happy cunting to all and be careful to not get sucked into it too deep. Keep your head and heart about you.

DiabloMactavish

03-30-03, 20:50

Originally posted by hysteromania
Actually, dolphins apart from humans are the only ones who have sex for enjoyment, not just reproduction.

Actually you are wrong about that. It has been well documented by primate researchers that male chimpanzees will rape females.

Also, have you ever owned a dog? Why do you think that they are humping legs?

I am not going to go far as to say that goldfish, amoebas and sea slugs enjoy sex, but there has to be some sort of mechanism that tells the creature in question "this is good" or else why would it reproduce?

just my opinion.

diablo

Joe Zop

03-30-03, 21:31

I don't know how chimps raping or dogs being horny says anything about having sex for enjoyment. Being driven by a sex drive isn't the same thing as sex purely for pleasure, and the fact that there is enjoyment or good feelings while having sex also doesn't mean that's the motivation for having it as opposed to a biological imperative.

Although, while we're anthropomorphizing, I know plenty of humans for whom it's very clear that having sex is not about pleasure :D

Hysteromania

03-31-03, 06:28

Originally posted by Dick Johnson
Hystero, care to talk about your first time? Was it your dad's idea? I've always been curious to hear about dads taking their sons to lose it .

Nope, dad had nothing to do with it. Since I was inundated with American teenage movies and directed media that seemed to make having sex mandatory before graduation or you will die or something like that. Will admit, I was drunk and foolish then and think it may have warped my mind since then as I do not think paying for sex is bad, especially if you know what you are getting and do not have the head games that follow afterwards.

Prokofiev

03-31-03, 16:22

Joe,

"Being driven by a sex drive isn't the same as sex for pleasure"

No? I bet it is. The sex drive is controled by feeling good/receiving pleasure. I doubt that there is any difference. Humans are just animals who can talk a little better . . . and only just a little.

Joe Zop

03-31-03, 17:31

If that's the case how do you explain lower forms? How do you explain cycles of going in heat for animals and the lack of sex when they're not in heat? There's no pleasure in it for bacteria, plants, etc., and yet they still procreate. People (or anything else) are driven by things that don't necessarily have anything to do with a pure pleasure impulse. Eating, for example. Fear of death, for another.

And I'm certainly not saying at all that animals aren't also driven by pleasure or that there isn't pleasure in it -- the cat on my lap is not driven there by love or hunger; it likes the way it feels when I scratch it.

No disagreement at all on the talking side of things, though!

DiabloMactavish

04-01-03, 18:25

Originally posted by joe_zop
If that's the case how do you explain lower forms? How do you explain cycles of going in heat for animals and the lack of sex when they're not in heat? There's no pleasure in it for bacteria, plants, etc., and yet they still procreate...

And I'm certainly not saying at all that animals aren't also driven by pleasure or that there isn't pleasure in it -- the cat on my lap is not driven there by love or hunger; it likes the way it feels when I scratch it.

I would say that comparing the sex life of a plant and the sex life of a mammal pretty much "apples and oranges". Plants don't have a central nervous system, so I don't think that "pleasure response" is applicable.

Here is a couple of links I found about the Bonobo, also known as the Pygmy chimpanzee: http://www.allaboutsex.org/bonobos_pleasureequalspeace.html

and: http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/pleasure.htm

Anyhow, in the second link the article actually goes at length to qualify the idea that only humans, dolphins and bonobos are having sex for pleasure.

My whole point, is that if you placed two colonies of proto-humans on two separate landmasses, and had one group who did not have sex for pleasure, and the other who did (assuming no scientific birth control methods), I guarantee you that the area with the "pleasure" population would outnumber the other in hundred years by an order of magnitude, assuming there were sufficient resources (food, shelter, water) to support a large population.

Joe Zop

04-01-03, 19:07

Fair enough, I'll add bonobos to the list, but I still don't see what chimps raping or dogs humping has to do with the examples of bonobos, humans, and dolphins having sex for pleasure, and there's still a pretty fairly documented difference between a sex drive and a pure pleasure drive. Your second link, in fact, expounds a bit on that whole issue, talking about how most animals can't afford to "waste" the energy needed for procreation, etc.

My point in citing lower forms, plants, insects, etc. was not to say that they're exactly the same, as of course they're not, but to respond to Prokofiev's doubt that there was a difference between a sex drive and sex for pleasure, which is precisely why I chose examples without pleasure centers. The instinctual drive to procreate is clearly still there, as also is the case in higher forms, humans included. So yes, apples and oranges, but intentionally, to bring the point out starkly.

I don't disagree with your premise, I simply don't get what the examples you listed had to do with it. I pretty much agree with your contention about colony versus colony, though I do wonder in that case why there are still so many dutiful puritans around :D

rodpipe

04-20-03, 03:30

On ny last trip to latin america I fucked every night. When I go back though, I'm gonna fuck less as I would enjoy it more.

SeeksGoodTime

05-03-03, 13:46

One question that comes up to me is the concept of withdrawal. I am new to the scene somewhat and just returned from Costa Rica. What I think is most interesting to me about the behavior is that once in the scene, the ability to partake is easy and the body builds up a temporary need. Perhaps this is due to heightened endorphin levels in the body for a period.

Once removed from the easy access (now for me this meant returning back from CR), the body has some reactions similar to withdrawal from any drug. When I flew back into Miami, I actually had physical and psychological withdrawal. I wanted to listen to latin love songs and my insides were aching. This wasn't related to missing a particular SW in CR, but rather to knowing that the scene is no longer available. [Yeah, there are other options here in US, but the point is going from a very open sex scene to a more closed/expensive one tell the body that all the easy access to pleasure you had are now gone, if only temporarily].

All this leads me to believe that sex is an addition just like any other drug. If not controlled, it can dick-tate (pun intented) your life. Being knew to this scene, I know I need to be careful, since I could easily lose the urge to work and be preoccupied. I hope I can contain it to a few vacations a year.

Curious if others agree with this viewpoint. One other thing I'll mention is the first time I used a SW was in an AMP. It was done out of anger to my current GF at the time after a bad fight. I really loved the first time but not sure if it was as much getting back at my GF (although I never told her) or just that I had a strong desire to do this all along. I just wonder if my current views were determined by that first incident and doing it for reasons other than a particular urge at the time that set my mindset now.

CaribbeanGringo

05-10-03, 23:50

SGT,

I had a similar experience during and after returning from my first SJ monger trip. I told myself that I was only going to indulge once that trip. No way. And upon returning, I found myself looking at the massage ads in the local freebie (though my big head recognized the reality that they cannot live up to CR girls and kept me from persuing this avenue. I think the thrill and novelty of each experience make it addicting.

SeeksGoodTime

05-13-03, 19:25

Hey Carrib,

What you say is certainly true, but I think it goes beyond this. I believe there is some temporary body chemistry that changes for a while in the scene that forces a dependency. I remember not sleeping more than a few hours in total the last three days I was there. Just could not stop watching the scene happening around me: the girls working the guys with both hard and soft sells, the quick action of sizing up each for a possible transaction, and of course the consummation of the acts themselves. It just wouldn't let my body rest for a while.

I know that it is also a temporary thing since although I'm always on the prowl at some level, but I don't at all feel the same as I did when I first came back and can focus on other things (which was impossible in CR). Perhaps I just have the proclivity to addicitive behavior. I've only ever smoked weed and had a few drinks, so I'm glad I stayed away from possibly more additive type stuff, since I think I would really love it.

SGT

CaribbeanGringo

05-26-03, 16:01

Seeks Good Time,

I too sleep little when in CR. Thrill of the hunt, and all the possibilities keep the mind and body going. Lets just face it, the sexual drive is strong, and when access is easy, hell, no time to waste, no?!!

WindStar

06-15-03, 18:57

RN!!!!!!!!!!!! How are you?

Just saw some of your old post, on this, one of my favorite special interests areas.

In any even, I not long returned from South America and am bursting with tales to tell both IN and OUT of school, as it were!

I am looking foward to resuming where we left off. I've learned a few things (even at my RIPE age) about the "biz!" and would love your insight!

P.S. WOW how time flies. It looks like I've been gone for 8 months or so. I can't believe it.

WindStar

06-15-03, 19:23

Originally posted by SeeksGoodTime
One question that comes up to me is the concept of withdrawal. ... When I flew back into Miami, I actually had physical and psychological withdrawal. I wanted to listen to latin love songs and my insides were aching. This wasn't related to missing a particular SW in CR, but rather to knowing that the scene is no longer available. [Yeah, there are other options here in US, but the point is going from a very open sex scene to a more closed/expensive one tell the body that all the easy access to pleasure you had are now gone, if only temporarily].

Well all I can say to you, SeekingGoodTime is welcome to the Club. You've go the bug and you've got it bad.

It's all sort of like the blues. Once you get it, you got it ... The trick is to understand it. And while it may not "bust" you from the habit, it may help you a lot if all starts making sense.

One of the first things that helps be get readjusted is to realize that it's not just the sex. Nor is it a simple of matter of the "sex scene." It's really a matter of general ambience of the place. The relaxed, laid back atmosphere enables you to put all your troubles in perspective and FINALLY enjoy life as it was meant to be.

You see, down in CR you were not only having all the sex you needed, but probably more than you ever felt you deserved. That's heady stuff to be sure. But there is more to it than that, isn't there. It's really a matter also of not being made to feel as though something is wrong with you -- a classically North American malaise which, as it abates enables us all to achieve a surprising level of unparralleled self actualization.

SeeksGoodTime

06-21-03, 01:35

WindStar,

You make an interesting point about "deserving" it. I think that is very true. It seems more women in the US are on this paced level of sexual involvment that is geared more to exerting control. This leads to that feeling of earning sex just like currency instead of a more natural response to our evolutional programming. Of course some women are more in touch with their sexuality, but we're talking in general.

I guess these are just the result of a culture still uptight. Even in the SW trade in this country it seems you have either totally high-end money makers or those that have no respect for themselves. With things being more out in the open in some of the bigger sex markets, the women can still be more of themselves and perhaps that makes it that more liberating and enjoyable for men. Whatever it is, I like it!

Zero

09-30-03, 01:27

hey guys,
what is the border line between healty sexual desire and sexual addition?

Dickhead

11-18-03, 01:15

I just read this classic from another poster and thought I would post it to get this section rolling again:

"I will say when I first started I must have driven by 25 SWers before I picked one up. The first one I picked up was on the north side near a cheap motel on ------ [edited to preserve poster's privacy; DH] She was a beautiful, well build black lady. She smelled like an empty liquor bottle. I chickened out and she got out of the car after the price that was quoted to me was "how much you got?"

Finally a few years later I got my nerve up again. I read up on how to do it. I started out with dancers at strip clubs. My hit ratio was about one in twenty. I got better at it and it was one in five. Eventually they were just coming up and offering. Its like they knew I was ok and looking.

But they are all pretty much $100 minimum.

Now I was ready to hit the streets and had more confidence. Somedays it was like a kid in candy store. Other times it was like fishing without a worm. But like the rest of you guys, I got better at it. The women began to add up. Five, then ten, then 50 and I lost count. My confidence in my personal life got better to and I was scorning with the regular ladies. Pretty soon the regular ladies got on my nerves because they all seem to want a relationship. I enjoyed the hunt as much as the sex so its back to the streets. White, black, asian, Hispanic, American Indian - just about every kind of women except Arabic or asian-indian. 18 year olds to 53 year olds. Often twice a day. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent. Drug addicts, amatures, drunk girls too loaded to care, hitchhikers, and even financial down and outers in trouble with the courts.

That got boring so I decided to look at new angles. I went to sex addition clinics but became facinated by the eating disorder clinics. Often anorexics will use sex for an outlet for attention. Plus I like them thin. A match made in heaven.

Much of my life has been wasted, not to mention a few hundred thousand dollars. Was it worth it? You damn right!!"

Bizzie

11-18-03, 01:24

Is it addiction if you:

1. spend several hours a week on the internet looking at porn sites?

2. Jack off a few despite having a staedy nooky available?

3. look for pussy while out of town on business?

4. look for pussy while out of town without business?

5. make trips abroad to sample pussy from each continent?

Dickhead

11-18-03, 01:46

1. Yes
2. Yes unless she is ugly, fat, does not give head, or is a starfish.
3. No, unless the trips out of town are less than 10 miles.
4. No, but see #3 above.
5. No

Hope that helps.

Dr. Ruth Dickhead

Chuponalgas

11-18-03, 06:45

Hey I quit drugs and drinking, can't I have one little addiction left????

ThePerson

12-09-03, 21:45

Dickhead that brought a tear to my eye. =)

"I just read this classic from another poster and thought I would post it to get this section rolling again:

"I will say when I first started I must have driven by 25 SWers before I picked one up. The first one I picked up was on the north side near a cheap motel on ------ [edited to preserve poster's privacy; DH] She was a beautiful, well build black lady. She smelled like an empty liquor bottle. I chickened out and she got out of the car after the price that was quoted to me was "how much you got?"

Finally a few years later I got my nerve up again. I read up on how to do it. I started out with dancers at strip clubs. My hit ratio was about one in twenty. I got better at it and it was one in five. Eventually they were just coming up and offering. Its like they knew I was ok and looking.

But they are all pretty much $100 minimum.

Now I was ready to hit the streets and had more confidence. Somedays it was like a kid in candy store. Other times it was like fishing without a worm. But like the rest of you guys, I got better at it. The women began to add up. Five, then ten, then 50 and I lost count. My confidence in my personal life got better to and I was scorning with the regular ladies. Pretty soon the regular ladies got on my nerves because they all seem to want a relationship. I enjoyed the hunt as much as the sex so its back to the streets. White, black, asian, Hispanic, American Indian - just about every kind of women except Arabic or asian-indian. 18 year olds to 53 year olds. Often twice a day. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent. Drug addicts, amatures, drunk girls too loaded to care, hitchhikers, and even financial down and outers in trouble with the courts.

That got boring so I decided to look at new angles. I went to sex addition clinics but became facinated by the eating disorder clinics. Often anorexics will use sex for an outlet for attention. Plus I like them thin. A match made in heaven.

Much of my life has been wasted, not to mention a few hundred thousand dollars. Was it worth it? You damn right!!"

Dickhead

12-09-03, 21:52

Zero posted:

"hey guys, what is the border line between healty sexual desire and sexual addition?"

[I think he means "addiction"; sexual addition I think is similar to polygamy??]

To indirectly answer your question, I offer my definition of an alcoholic: Anybody who drinks more than I do.

hoodas

12-10-03, 12:16

ThePerson, the poster you quoted has some great posts. It makes for some great reading. It looks like he is followed by a few folks here!

Plasma Spray

12-14-03, 05:57

What's up with marriage and sex anyhow?

Once you marry them, they now think that sex should be planned and be put on the schedule like their periods or something!

I just happen to think that it should be the exact opposite: Any place, any time, any how and like NOW!

Pitching a Tent

12-31-03, 21:18

Found this on a website. I answered yes to almost everyone. Oh no, quess I'm hooked on the nook.

Test Yourself

Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior?

That you'd be better off if you didn't keep "giving in"?

That sex or stimuli are controlling you?

Have you ever tried to stop or limit doing what you felt was wrong in your sexual behavior?

Do you resort to sex to escape, relieve anxiety, or because you can't cope?

Do you feel guilt, remorse or depression afterward?

Has your pursuit of sex become more compulsive?

Does it interfere with relations with your spouse?

Do you have to resort to images or memories during sex?

Does an irresistible impulse arise when the other party makes the overtures or sex is offered?

Do you keep going from one "relationship" or lover to another?

Do you feel the "right relationship" would help you stop lusting, masturbating, or being so promiscuous?

Do you have a destructive need -- a desperate sexual or emotional need for someone?

Does pursuit of sex make you careless for yourself or the welfare of your family or others?

Has your effectiveness or concentration decreased as sex has become more compulsive?

Do you lose time from work for it?

Do you turn to a lower environment when pursuing sex?

Do you want to get away from the sex partner as soon as possible after the act?

Although your spouse is sexually compatible, do you still masturbate or have sex with others?

Have you ever been arrested for a sex-related offense?

SA Literature © 1982, 1984, 1989, 2001.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature.

© 1997-2003 Sexaholics Anonymous Inc.

J Burb

01-10-04, 22:55

"EVOLUTION OF AN ADDICT"

Allow me to introduce myself,
I am an addict. Since adolecence I have suffered from a constant compulsion to obsess about and pursue a variety of questionable activities often in extreme, unhealthy, and life distracting ways. I’ve been told I must always fight such compulsions via therapy, medication, group support, ect, ect. For years I fought that battle, heeded the advice, and swallowed their pills, only to learn the one thing they could ever assure me was “I would always be an addict”, regardless of effort or behavior modification. This is when it occurred to me....

If I am destined to be an addict and it’s just part of who I am like the color of my eyes, why fight it? Why not just embrace it? Indulge it. Celebrate it! This was the pivotal realization I needed to finally gain control of it all. With full acceptance, I now gave myself the permission and freedom to choose my addictions accordingly, they no longer chose me. I would only try and limit that which was dangerous or beyond my financial means. I gradually replaced all my unhealthy vices with harmless ones and obsessively threw myself into hobbies and productive endeavors. I was happy.

Somewhere along the way I got computer savvy. I rediscovered porn, worked the personals, and found this website. With online dating I was soon averaging 3 to 4 sexually active dates per week (sometimes more), each with different women, and I had sampled countless others. Never had I gotten so much tail in my life! I occasionally even yanked in between dates to my favorite porn sites just for variety. Eventually I learned how to locate and pick up hookers and it became my preference. I'd often avoid “real dates” just so I could go hunt SW’s and pay some stranger to get me off instead. The activity persists to this day.

I am neither proud nor ashamed of all my promiscuity, it is what it is. Does it make me a sex addict? Perhaps, I’m not qualified to make such determinations. I can say however, if I am hooked, I have never had such fun harvesting an addiction and have no intention to fight it.

J Burb

My Inspire

02-11-04, 04:45

Dear all,

I just to share my own feeling and hear feedback from you all here.

I used to have a gf who is very sexually active. We used to make love everytime we meet, and she loves it.

We had some great funs in all kinda of positions. I am kinda addicted to sex with her.

Now that we broke off, I'm had strong sexual desire. I couldnt control my thought of the great sex with my ex-gf.

I almost masturbate everyday and now I thought of getting some paid sex as well.

But I also aware that engaging with paid sex has risk. Any advice from the audience how to lower down the risk of STD and related diseases?

EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to add standard capitalization and punctuation. To avoid delays in future reports, please refrain from using the "chat room" style of writing with no caps or punctuation. Thanks!

J Burb

02-17-04, 23:32

My Inspire,
Nothing sucks more than longing for a ex with your cock in hand. I think you'll find a provider both empowering and a nice distraction in your current situation. Break ups become much easier to tolerate and you'll end up taking far less shit in relationships once you know you can just pay for another pussy anytime you want it.

Check the safe sex section for some good answers, but heres my routine:1) Be selective, not every hoe is a drugged out skank. 2) Do a vaginal inspection for signs of STD's first (I carry a flashlight in my car). 3) Avoid any sexual contact without a condom, even for BJ's (could get herpes). 4) I also avoid cunnilingus feeling that HIV can infiltrate bleeding gums. 5) I'll often put my dick through my underwear to avoid pelvic contact with vaginal fluid. 6) I also pay attention to where I put my fingers after inserting them in a girl ( If you touch your cock you may as well have just fucked her bareback) 6) Bring sanitary wipes and wash further when home.

I know my routine is a bit more extra careful than some guys but I sleep well at night knowing I took every possable percaution. Good luck and dont let the ex get you down.

J Burb

Monger Forever

02-18-04, 00:10

Damn Jburb you forgot to bring peniciline, a doctor, the hospital, and and a porn to just jack off because your not having sex dude your dreaming in a vagina. and that flashlight trick sounds cool man.

I carry a 2,000,000 candle power q beam I inspect them also they look like a light house when I do my inspection.

Ok later and have safe sex man.

I just pull my cock out and ride those ho's hard and leave them wet.

Bubba

Civ2000

02-18-04, 02:04

My Inspire, It sounds like you might be ready for a sexual addiction twelve-step group. Just kidding. A generally accepted definition of addiction is the continuation of an activity despite negative consequences. That doesn't really sound like what you are describing.

I'm a little looser with the safe sex than J Burb. I'm not saying it's wrong to be that safe; but then again it does take some of the fun away.

I generally don't use a condom for anything but FS. Condoms won't prevent herpes but can prevent the clap and syphilis, which can thrive in the lining of the throat. They're easily treatable and I don't worry too much about them.

I don't worry about cunnilingus either. There are miniscule amounts of HIV in vaginal fluid and I have healthy gums. This activity has risk but its generally low.

Everything else he says sounds okay but a good thing is to take a piss immediately after sex; especially bbbj or bbfs to wash out any bugs from your urethra. But don't have bbfs. Its just not safe. This really belongs on the safe sex thread, so if you have any more questions please post them there. Also it's a very good idea to get vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B.

Civ2K

Stoner

02-25-04, 22:24

I have to say, I've wondered about whether I'm a sex addict. I meet the criteria and all. My heart begins to race because I begin to conform to a label.

Then it hits me.

I monger because I really enjoy my life. I don't monger to take away pain or cover up years of abuse. No. I do it because, dammit, I enjoy the empowerment I feel.

You see, when I was a regular square panted sort of fellow, women controlled my ass. A girl shakes a hip, I bounced along with it. A woman bends over, and I'm hankering to see what her tits look like. I see a woman in a nice dress and all I can think about is how good her pussy would feel.

When I liked a woman's body, my horndog would stand up and howl till it hurt. All I could do was pull my shirt down and cover it up...or sit down somewhere and try to take my mind off the chica.

I couldn't even talk to a woman I thought attractive without seeming like some perv...and I wasn't even getting any to be fairly labeled a perv.

Truth be told, women can cast a spell on a man, no matter how virtuous.

By mongering, I am not only enjoying my life, but I am experienced. Few women phaze me to the point where I can't control my hormornes. The horndog is firmly under control. Why? Cause I sampled many and the illusion is dismissed. In a sense, I am now content. When I so choose, I can unleash my new found calmness and really treat a woman well without any expectation on her. Why? Cause I know I can get some whenever I so choose. I can be nice, not with a secret hope of getting some...no...I can be a good man because I just want to be a good fella.

Thats empowering.

Am I addicted. As much as I am to good food and good living. If enjoying a good life is addiction, if choosing to enjoy my few days on earth with contentment vs anxiety is addiction, then so be it.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy my days of renewed youth that I missed oh so long ago. I am free! When my freedom becomes a cage...then yes...it is time to get help. Until then...live and let live.

Zero

02-26-04, 03:01

Well. amen to that brother Stoner!

Sun Devil

02-26-04, 03:33

Yes, but does it not get boring sometimes when it is so easy to be had?

I am presently in a rut with having sex so much that I have decided to take it easy for a while.

Call it recharging my interest and batteries.

Marpa

02-26-04, 10:47

Hi

I'm married and have been going with SW, prostitutes and other women for the past 27years. It started when my wife couldn't keep up with my daily requests and so I found it easier to pay another woman to have sex rather than begging for it from your spouse. We had three children and are still happy married, we get on as best of friends but sex with my wife has dwindled to about six times a year whilst my needs are now roughly twice a week.

I can't stop thinking of my next sexual adventure and often wonder if I'm really addicted. Does anyone who has had similar experiences know if such urges do stop with age?

Can any (very) senior monger advise?

Boxcc

02-27-04, 12:54

Hello All, I too could probably considered a sex addict, by the strict definition of it. But, when you get right down to it, who isn't? I don't know anyone who doesn't love sex. (That's because I don't hang around with uptight assholes that would rather go to church than screw their own wife!) Sex is not a sin! It is a pleasure. I get rather put out with people who try to impose their view of morality on you, and label you as a deviant or an 'addict' because you believe differently from them.

To me an addict is someone who cannot go without it. They have to have it. They cannot live without it. I do not have to have sex. And, as virtually every married man can attest, sometimes you just want to have sex more often than your wife wants to. Does that make you an addict? I say no.

Now, I'm not saying that there are no sex addicts, because I believe that they exist. I just don't consider myself one of them. And, Marpa, neither should you. IMHO, we are a lot alike. I happen to desire sex a lot more than my wife does. I love my wife and kids and don't want to go through another divorce. I just find it easier to find another women to have sex with than to have to beg my wife. My personal preference is to find a prostitute for that purpose. I don't want to have any more affairs, because, to me, they are too damn dangerous. There are too many opportunities to screw up and get caught. I prefer to just visit girls that get paid to have sex, get my jollies and be on my way, no muss, no fuss.

Yes, I worry about STD's, but I take sufficient precautions that I believe the risk is minimal.

Civ2000

02-27-04, 18:27

Boxcc and Marpa, I really think it goes back to what I said earlier: addiction is the continuation of an activity despite negative consequences. If you visit a prostitute regularly and its caused you no problems then fine -- you have nothing to worry about. Take a sample scenario: a guy has been picking up SW's for about a year. One night he gets arrested. It really bums him out and he's thinking about giving up the hobby. Three weeks later he gets robbed by the SW's pimp and gets beat up. He comes home and his wife is leaving him because she tested postive for an STD. A non sex addicted guy would say "enough is enough" and never pick another SW up again.

The sex addict would swear he was never going out again and really mean it -- yet would find himself out cruising a few days later. This pattern of remorse, stopping and starting the activity, and the unability to quit despite the fact it was destroying his life are all telltale signs of addiction.

Another sign would be someone who is really lonely and would really like to be in a relationship but doesn't because they're spending all their time with prostitutes. They desire intimacy but its so convenient to pick up a SW. And the pattern continues.

Another sign is a guy making 75 thousand a year and yet he is heavily in debt, drives a piece of crap car, and has bill collectors calling all the time. His paycheck is getting garnished. He makes plenty of money but spends most of it on escorts.

There's nothing wrong with having a high libido and wanting sex everyday. When it causes you serious problems then you have a serious problem. People who talk like sex is a great addiction to have just don't know what they're talking about. It can ruin careers, relationships, health, etc. So, if you're doing prostitutes and everything is honky dory then don't worry about it.

Civ2k

Boxcc

03-01-04, 16:23

Civ2000, I couldn't agree with you more. I think your definition of an addict is dead on. Like I was saying, I think that once it becomes a compulsion and not a choice, that's when it becomes and addiction. And, I hope you didn't think I was saying that a sex addiction was a good thing to have, because I wasn't saying that at all. In fact, I don't think that any addiction is a good thing.

The point I was trying to make was that different people have different definitions of what an addict is. As I stated in my previous post, I probably could be considered an addict, depending on the definition. Just because you love something does not make you addicted to it. I, like so many others on this board, love sex. That does not make us addicts. I would consider you and addict if you did spend all the mortgage money on hookers! But, I believe there are people who have addictive personalities. If they didn't have an addiction to sex, it would be on some other activity: video poker, gambling, or any other of a number of destuctive activities that they would find a way to piss their time and money away on.

Zé Duron

03-16-04, 23:41

I am no senior monger, more a junior, roughly 30 now and this is my opinion to this very important issue:

I think that sex is in our nature.

We start loving it with 10 or 12, start getting to it at about 16, get confident by 21 or 23 and by 28 we think we´re on the top of the building and the most of us settle down or marry. The first years are great, and everywhere around us we can find the impressions of sex, in commercials, at stores selling high heels, boots, t-shirts at Benetton, wherever, sex is on play in the radio, on TV via cable or satellite dish, in the movies, in magazines, in books, just everywhere.

Accepting that there are girls that would rather fuck than work in a store is a moral issue and once you think about it and you finally make it to the business you have one choice:

Leave it or embrace it!
If you leave, leave and never come back! Never embrace a hobby without actually desiring it like a lot of golfers that buy the million $ gear and use it twice in their life!

Just be careful, with your health, be a grown (covered) man;
-for (the next) fuck´s sake don´t blow it!

Next be careful with your money, put a limit to it 5%, or 10% of your annual income, no more, don´t be a fool; spend some money with culture, with nice restaurants, nice trips;
-treat yourself as a king without thinking only on the concubines!

Don´t ruin your reputation, if you live in a conservative environment;
-your dick ain´t worth as much as your face!

These are my golden rules:
1. For (the next) fuck´s sake don´t blow it! Always use a cover.
2. Treat yourself as a king without thinking only on the concubines!
3. Your dick ain´t worth as much as your face!

Have a sleep on it and get back to the real world. Sex is great with our girlfriend, wife, cousin, friend, flirt, or with a prostitute, a beautiful one, I hope!

The Shaft

03-19-04, 17:36

Hello fellow mongers,

I'd consider myself an addict, and if I'm not, I don't know what one is. I find myself out mongering at least once a week. I usually find the chase and anticipation to be the best part of it. To me, there's nothing like finding a totally hot chick on the street, and then being able to get pretty much whatever you want. Money doesn't really play a huge issue. Unfortunately, the street scene where I'm at has really diminised in the last decade. Are there any mongers out there that have gotten over this addiction, and how?

Boxcc

03-22-04, 16:44

Tness, I find the hunt to be very enjoyable all by itself. I agree that the anticipation then the thrill of finding a hot girl, man, there is no feeling that compares. I have been mongering for years, and to this day, I get that same rush everytime I spot a new girl. My heart just starts pumping faster and I get a real rush of adreniline. [sp]

I don't know if you will ever get rid of this addiction. I may go a month or two without really searching for anything, but usually when I'm not searching, that's when I find the really hot chicks that I just can't pass up. And, when I am hunting for it, I never seem to be able to find it like I want to. Speaking for myself, I know that I probably will continue mongering for the rest of my life, that is, as long as I can still get it up!

King Arthur

03-23-04, 05:40

I think I'm addicted to these beautiful prostitutes. Sometimes when I'm at home I think about them for hours, and just planning my next trip, or researching on STDs, or being in this WSG Forum. It's starting to affect me so that I'm not really doing what I should be doing, like work related activities. I'm up at 1:40am writing this write now. There's a saying that a sex-mad man is not much different from a dope-mad man and I concur. Need the discipline to keep this aspect of life compartmentalized.

Maybe we should start a group called Prostitutes Anonymous.

PsyberZombie

03-29-04, 07:53

Civ2000 defines "Addiction" =

"I really think it goes back to what I said earlier:
addiction is the continuation of an activity despite negative consequences. "

That's how people who get paid to treat Addictions [ so-called 'Addictionologists' ] would define it

But they've got a Vested Interest in, say, making the casual drinker an alcoholic or you into a 'Sex Addict' ; because they get paid to treat the 'Disease' that they them·selves have defined

A BETTER Definiton of Addiction is =

" compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful "

Notice that a SUBSTANCE is Always the Object of an Addiction; but even some substances , like FOOD , cannot be Addictive =
because the Basic Treatment for an addiction is TOTAL ABSTINENCE [ the '12 Steps' are Optional, no matter what your Therapist tells you ] and abstinence from Food would result in Death

Similarly to the Essential Bodily Function that Eating is , SEX is a normal Excretory Function that the Male cannot deny any more than he can deny himself sleep or ever taking a Leak or a Dump again =

Those rare Catholic Priests who actually keep their Vow of Chastity will continue to have Wet Dreams [ "Nocturnal Emissions" is the proper term ] through·out their lives

The 'Case Scenarios' that Civ2000 present actually represent NOT Addiction, but a form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

While True Addicts exhibit Obsessive / Compulsive Behavior and Thinking, the OCD-behavior of people like 'Sex Addicts' arises out of an underlying Personality Disorder that can rise to the level of a Neurosis , as in Civ2000's scenarios

The Difference between True Addiction and an OCD may seem like 'splitting hairs' to the lay person; but Difference there is, and it makes a Tremendous Difference both in terms of how they're treated and their Ultimate Prognosis

Any of you 'Sex Addicts' who find your life being ruined by this need to get away from your self-treatment, psychologist, or 'counseler' ; and see a PSYCHIATRIST

It's now well-established that OCD has a chemical neuro-transmitter basis; and only a psychiatrist can provide both the counseling AND the prescriptions for the medications that have been PROVEN to work in these cases

You owe it to yourself , your family and your community to get a referral to a 'shrink' TODAY [ Heck, if you don't have a 'Primary Care Doc = pick a psychiatrist out of the Yellow Pages , under 'Physicians' ]

Good Luck !!

Civ2000

03-29-04, 18:09

PsyberZombie, Yours was a well-thought out and articulate post, however I disagree with most of it. I still believe my definition of continuing despite negative consequences is still the most appropriate definition of an addiction. You begin to have bad things happen; swear you will never engage in the behavior again; and still find yourself right back out there.

Interestingly enough, Psychiatrists list sexual addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder as two separate conditions. Here is the DSM-IV defintion of OCD. The DSM-IV is the diagnostic manual psychiatrists use to define various types of mental illness.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
The patient has obsessions or compulsions, or both.
Obsessions. The patient must have all of:
1 Recurring, persisting thoughts, impulses or images inappropriately intrude into awareness and cause marked distress or anxiety.
2 These ideas are not just excessive worries about ordinary problems.
3 The patient tries to ignore or suppress these ideas or to neutralize them by thoughts or behavior.
4 There is insight that these ideas are a product of the patient's own mind.

Compulsions. The patient must have all of:
1 The patient feels the need to repeat physical behaviors (checking the stove to be sure it is off, handwashing) or mental behaviors (counting things, silently repeating words).
2 These behaviors occur as a response to an obsession or in accordance with strictly applied rules.
3 The aim of these behaviors is to reduce or eliminate distress or to prevent something that is dreaded.
4 These behaviors are either not realistically related to the events they are supposed to counteract or they are clearly excessive for that purpose.

This does not even remotely sound like an addiction to me.

In a way, sex is an addictive substance. It is proven that when you engage in sex powerful neurotransmitters such as endorphins, adrenaline and the like are released into the blood stream causing physiological reactions. I've actually read posts from guys on this board whom after coming home from a sex vacation in Costa Rica actually experience what could best be classified as withdrawl symptoms. For someone who picks up SW's you have the danger, excitement, the sex, etc and get mass chemicals released into the body. I've actually started to shake uncontrollably when entering a stroll after a few weeks away and have heard this is actually a common phenomena due to the mass release of adrenaline.

So, of course sex can be addictive. What is a psychiatrist going to do? Prescribe some seratonin reuptake inhibitors like Paxil, Prozac, or Zoloft? It might help an addict a bit, but is kind of like putting out a fire with a squirt gun.

Twelve steps didn't work for me but millions swear by them.

Food as well can be addictive. Just because you need it to live doesn't mean it can't be addictive. It is well known that you can be addicted to carbs, and other foods harmful to you, and once you start eating you just can't stop "despite negative consequences". The task is not to stop eating -- just to stop eating addictively. The same would be true of the sex addict. You want to stop the addiction and yet be able to practice healthy sexuality. I believe that is why food and sex are two extremely tough addictions to crack. Everything else you can just eliminate, but with these you'll always struggle.

You would probably not classify gambling as an addiction either then. It is not a substance. But they have proven that the same chemicals emitted during sex are also emitted while an addicted gambler is betting away his mortgage payment. They say gambling and sex addiction are very closely related.

Anyway the bottom-line is this: if you're enjoying it and it's not causing you any financial, emotional, physical, family, and legal problems then it's probably not addiction.

Civ2000-

PsyberZombie

03-29-04, 19:50

And I thank you for that erudite Post , Civ2000

But the DSM-IV-RT lists the 'Dependence' Diagnoses under the Codes 303.9 - 304.9 [ 303 is for Alcohol ; everything else has a 304 code ]

There is NO CODE for "Sexual Addiction/Dependence" in this category

Compulsive Gambling, which you mention, is 312.31

[ 312.3 is the Category "Impulse Control" ; 300.3 is the code for OCD ; so I got the Category wrong in my last post ]

Besides the General Category of 'Impulse Control' , there are specific codes for Gambling; Pyromania; Kleptomania; trichotillomania [ compulsively pulling your own hair out ] ; but there is NO Specific CODE for "Sexual Addiction"

What is called "sexual addiction" doesn't even come close to being a Dependence Disorder =

The DSM-IV-RT defines 'Dependence' as :

" A maladaptive pattern of substance use, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period:

(1) tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
(a) a need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve Intoxication or desired effect
(b) markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of the substance

(2) Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:
(a) the characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance (refer to Criteria A and B of the criteria sets for Withdrawal from the specific substances)
(b) the same (or a closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms

(3) the substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

(4) there is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use

(5) a great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance (e.g., visiting multiple doctors or driving long distances), use the substance (e.g., chain-smoking), or recover from its effects

(6) important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use

(7) the substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance (e.g., current cocaine use despite recognition of cocaine-induced depression, or continued drinking despite recognition that an ulcer was made worse by alcohol consumption) "

In contrast, the Manual defines 'Impulse Control Disorders' as =

" Recurrent failure to resist impulsive BEHAVIORS that may be harmful to themselves or others "

The Difference between these Two Types of Disorders is Important because both the Treatment and Prognosis is Different

Someone with a Substance Abuse Dependence [ a TRUE "Addiction" ] may only require the services of a physician during the Acute Withdrawal Phase of their disorder ; and have their long term follow-up care managed by a psychologist or 'substance abuse counselor' and 'Twelve Steps'

In contrast, some·one suffering from Impulse Control Disorder
[ what was called 'OCD' ] will probably require the life-long care of a Psychiatrist
[ a M.D. Physician who specializes in Psychiatry ]

If YOUR Life is being Ruined by Obsession [ "the uncontrollable persistence of an idea or emotion" ] or Compulsive Behavior =

You'd be best off seeking the services of a Psychiatrist

The Good News is =

Sexual Desire and Activity tend to naturally decline with Age ;
so the Ultimate Prognosis of a "Sex Addict" is probably pretty good , assuming you aren't murdered by a SW or her Pimp or die of AIDS first !!

Civ2000

03-29-04, 20:10

Psyberzombie, I have talked with psychiatrists and they have told me they don't consider sex addiction an OCD nor a impulse control disorder, but a recognizable addiction of its own.

Using your system of defining a dependance disorder sex meets most of the criteria:

(4) there is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use--this is the case with all addictions including sex.

(5) a great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance (e.g., visiting multiple doctors or driving long distances), use the substance (e.g., chain-smoking), or recover from its effects --sex addicted mongers spend hours upon hours cruising for SW's, miss time from work recovering from lack of sleep, etc, etc.

(6) important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use -- once again this is the case with most people who consider themselves sex addicts.

(7) the substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance (e.g., current cocaine use despite recognition of cocaine-induced depression, or continued drinking despite recognition that an ulcer was made worse by alcohol consumption) -- continuation despite negative consequences; depression, std's, financial, etc.

Even #'s 1,2,and 3 are plausible. For example since I started picking up SW's mild stuff like porno doesn't do the job. Guys start picking up a hooker or two every several months and for some it becomes an everyday necessity.

#2--Withdrawl from sexual addiction is documented. Endorphins attach to the same nervous system receptor sites as opiates and the effects although much milder are much the same.

You can say whatever you want, however millions of people agree with me that sex can be an addiction. It is a "true addiction" and it is ignorant of the facts to think otherwise.

Civ2000

PsyberZombie

03-29-04, 21:11

Civ2000 =

One of my Original Points that I need to clarify is =

'Addictionologists' have a Vested Interest in Defining DOWN the Criteria for a Dis·Order to be called an Addiction

Even with·in the Category of True Addictions , the Addiction 'Therapist' will try to convert mere Use or Abuse of Substances into an 'Addiction' , so they can Earn their Living treating this 'addiction'

Thus, the Alcohol Abuser becomes an 'Alcoholic'

And the guy with the Impulse Control Disorder becomes a 'Sex Addict'

Again , I'm not "splitting hairs" here

Civ2000

03-29-04, 21:51

Psyber, I do agree with you that the addiction treatment community does like to make everyone who ever gets drunk into an alcoholic and they also have a vested interest in the addict who relapses -- if people actually benefited from their services and got well -- they'd be out of work. And it is refreshing to have a healthy debate with someone who obviously is well read and articulate.

Civ2000

PsyberZombie

03-29-04, 23:00

Thanks for the Kind words , Civ2000

I hope that this Debate will help give some In·sight to those guys who post here who believe they suffer from an 'Addiction'

Maybe they do, in fact [ and I stress that it's only a small per·centage of us 'Hobby·ists' that feel that the 'hobby' getting out of control to the point of continuing it in spite of repeated adverse consequences ]

If so, they should join some kind of '12 Step' Program and aim for Total Abstinence as their goal and check out a NewsGroup like alt.recovery.addiction.sexual

But if that approach isn't working , as it probably won't for any activity that is based on a Biological Need [ like Eating , or Sex ] =

then maybe those guys could consider seeing a Shrink and Popping a Few Pills = many anti-depressants and other psychotropic medications are renowned and disdained for their side effects of both squelching Libido and causing Impotence ;
'side effects' that would actually be therapeutic in the case of our 'Sex Addicts'

Of course, all this begs the Question =

Is the Cure worse than the Disease ??

I say = let the 'Victim' of 'Sex Addiction' try these various therapies; and make those choices

King Arthur

03-30-04, 22:40

PZ,

I don't think I necessarily have an addiction, but this hobby can at times take me more time and money than I would like. It can be like a drug if you're constantly thinking about the next "fix"/sexual encounter, but I'm obsessive about other things as well.
Have you personally dealt with sexual addiction issues?

PsyberZombie

03-31-04, 19:36

KingArthurad writes :

It can be like a drug if you're constantly thinking about the next "fix"/sexual encounter, but I'm obsessive about other things as well. Have you personally dealt with sexual addiction issues?

Trust me = Your 'OBSESSION' with Sex will diminish as you age

And , NO =

I've never "personally dealt with sexual addiction issues"

... because SEX is a Normal Function , and CAN NOT be an Addiction

[ RTFF ]

Zé Duron

03-31-04, 22:04

Hi to every fellow member or guest on this splendid forum

This will be my second post in this section and I will just enclose a resume of my first impression on the subject and my golden rules:

1. For (the next) fuck´s sake don´t blow it! Always use a cover.
2. Treat yourself as a king without thinking only on the concubines!
3. Your dick ain´t worth as much as your face!

But if this ain´t enough to straighten things for any of you, here is a brief and easy, but also bizarre experience.

A lot of members in this section have stated that the kick comes from the moments or hours just before the hunting starts and the moment of the searching and looking up for the right chica, so just try to stay away of these narrow alleys and streets where we all know what is to found. Try it for a week and then for another so that you can double the budget and triple the fever for the next hunt in two weeks. The feeling is marvelous, and in my opinion these breaks really make me think about increasing the quality of the next hunting moment to an even higher pattern. Instead of, and this is merely an example, spending 100 bucks on a weekly basis I spend 200 on an evening after 3 or 4 weeks.

The numbers are fictional, because in my honest opinion I can not live up to happiness only on hunting, I need some cash to improve my standard of living. I like to think of myself as someone who is learning how to increase his values, his mind, his way of being, his joy and fun, because life is beautiful and there is a lot of improving to do. That was one of the first reasons I started this wonderful hobby. First because it is legal, second sex is one of the most marvelous thinks in life and third because I don´t have a moral dislike or reproaval on the subject.

But of course I have to take a few precautions because a lot of people don´t share my opinion. By the way does anyone have a rough statistics on what the percentage of man attend the hobby in the occidental world?
So if I want to improve my standards I have reached to the inner consensus that I will never ever spend more than up to 10% of my earnings, and I try to keep it in the range of 5 % on a monthly basis. SO the thing is to work harder, getting more doe and therefore being able of expending a bit more attending higher pleasures.

Measure pleasures on your principles and you´ll fly high brother!

Waiting for some reply

The Shaft

04-14-04, 13:32

Hello all,

Just wondering about this whole sex addiction thing. I don't see how getting pyschiatric help or taking a pill would help. After all, if you see a hot chic walking down the street in a mini skirt, and you know that in a matter of minutes you could be shooting your rocks off, how would medicine help? I don't want to take any pill that's going to numb my sexual drive.

nwtn20

04-17-04, 11:44

Hi all,

I agree with some people on this thread, how can you be addicted to sex. Its a natural human instinct. My feeling is you only live once and if you don't use it, one day when you lose it, you will be sorry.

So live a littel and follow your instincts and desires I do all the time.

Professer

06-21-04, 19:07

Here is my question I get sex at home with my wife about once if I am luck twice a week. Now I have been going to AMP once every two weeks I keep tellng myself that I shouldnt go but I love sex so much I just have this urge to go like its a drug. I am not rich by any means so its hard to justfy spending .1 or more every coupke of weeks. If I did have money to blow I would be going more often because I want it so bad. After I have finished the deed I tell my self I am not going to do it again. So does that mean I am addicted or not?

Anderson

06-23-04, 09:58

Professer, would you go to AMPs if your wife gave you sex everytime you wanted it? If so, then yes, you're probably "addicted". But you're not alone. I would rather not go, if only to save money. But when my mind clicks, I can't think about anything else until I go. The attention I get at AMPs, without all the strings attached, keeps pulling me back.

Supmam

07-04-04, 06:09

I read a lot of the posts on this forum and thought long and hard about the way I behave in terms of sex. I see some people have posted that how can I be addicted to sex, it’s a natural instinct. Well I'l try to outline that below. But I probably feel that for me it is an addiction. I use prostitutes every second week and any longer and I start losing the ability to think straight. So here is the way I look at it.

Sex is a natural desire. It’s biologically and evolutionary critical for men and women. So is eating and sleeping. Whilst it is not an addictive "substance" like alcohol or heroin, neither is gambling. Yet people are addicted to that as well. To illustrate this point, if the pursuit of sex (or for that matter food or gambling) interrupts normal (and socially acceptable) patterns in life - form relationships, pay debts, work and most importantly, the person feels they can't say no (similar to the gambler who wants one more throw of the dice) and regret it afterwards, then it can be classed as an addiction. The best (albeit simplistic imagery) is the person who loves chocolate cake. And there is no buzz in this world that can beat a fresh baked chocolate cake. Not the old saggy ones from the supermarket, the high class bakery ones. If that person walks past that cake, and can't say no, regardless of the time frame of when the last hot high class cake was, then it is an addiction.

There is an episode of Friends where one of the characters says at their house, they have no television. Joey then says, but where does your furniture point to?

Likewise, where does your life furniture point to? Is sex the only thing it points to? Is it hard for you to not surf into this website? Do you get a buzz out of the line-up at a brothel or the street where the WL's are that isn't matched by anything else in your life? Are you planning your next holiday around mongering and cheap sex? At the expense of relationships and perhaps financial interests? How much have you spent on hookers? Does the amount, when totalled up (probably 2000 Aussie Dollars this year so far), make your heart sink? Do you regret it afterwards? Do you prefer to lie to your partner about late-nights at work when really you’re cruising for the next Asian hottie? If you still feel there is no such thing as addiction to sex, replace sex with gambling or food, it makes the same sense, and no one would deny those addictions exist. In fact one of the biggest problem with most addicts is they don’t believe they have an addiction, despite evidence to the contrary.

I believe that admitting sexual addiction and learning to control it CAN be about living life at the fullest and ENHANCING sexual drive. By being in control. Ask a reformed addict how he spent his 20’s, chances are it was out of control and doing anything to feed the addiction. Living life to the fullest doesn't mean making sex the paramount form of enjoyment - because when it is taken away - in the form of family holidays, loss of income, the addict becomes miserable and more devious. It’s about being able to control the circumstance and enjoy it in moderation. Rather than excessively and without quality. Consider Ze Duron’s wise words below. 5% of monthly income – it’s a method of controlling and increasing his pleasure from the activity. And I always have the most amazing sex when I abstain for periods longer than usual.

I would never encourage anyone here to stop cold turkey, because it just doesn't work. As an example - Australian heroin addicts rarely go cold turkey because it just doesn't work. They go on to methadone and are able to control the circumstances in their lives better. Its harm minimization - the governments believe in reducing the harm of addiction to heroin by supplying cheap substitutes in order to reduce the cravings and long term consequences of addiction. The understanding is that it's impossible for an addict to say no to the cravings all the time, but by helping control the cravings - there is less likely to be a relapse, and more likely that the person will be able to live a fuller life – stable jobs and better relationships. Giving them reason and ability to say no. Which many of us can't do to WL.

Recently, I hooked up with a WL who lets me fuck her for free. It’s a great thing, it means I don't spend money at brothels and I sate my sexual needs without expenditure of valuable money. There's no emotional connection - purely physical. Has it really solved my addiction just because it’s free? After a few days, all I think about is fucking her, even though there's no emotional connection. It’s a semi-victory against an addiction but not the whole victory. Because when I am with her and she asks for sex - I can't say no. It’s not really that different from heroin gambling.

I'm like the fat lady who can't say no to cake. Learning to say no sometimes to WL’s might be the most positive thing any of us can do.

Anyway that’s my two cents. I hope it’s been enlightening.

Civ2000

07-05-04, 17:40

Professor, If wanting to go to AMPS despite your wife giving you sex anytime you desire, might signal a want for variety not necessarily addiction. Despite the best home cooking sometimes you want to go out for dinner.

Supmam, Excellent post. I do believe however that sex IS an addictive substance. When a gambler is on a winning streak or betting a month's salary, or when a monger is having high risk sex in his car with a SW there are mass amounts of chemicals coursing through the body. Adrenaline, endorphins, all kinds of stuff. Sometimes when I hit the stroll after a prolonged absence I'll start to sweat and my leg shakes -- it's just like taking a big hit of dope.

I agree that sex is natural and that we all need it but most non-addicted persons won't pursue it to the point of financial ruin, disease, arrest, family problems, etc. If having sex despite the fact it's negatively impacting your life on every level, signals addiction whether or not it's a natural act or not. If you're not experiencing any negative side effects then that's great. But to just categorically say there is no such thing as sexual addiction is naive. (I'm referring to previous posts here, not yours).

I'm not sure if controlling an addiction works either. I know of no ex-smoker's, alcoholics, gamblers, drug addicts, etc that can control their addiction. You either use or you don't. The exception being of course is the heroin addicts using methadone or buphenorphine to ease the cravings and withdrawl symtoms. I think if you're addicted to SW's then the only course of action is to avoid SW's. Myself, I can go for a couple of months without picking one up, but when I do I usually pick up 3 or 4 a week before I stop again, usually months later.

I've also tried a variation of the 5% of income a month thing. It's great but I'm sure all of us who have tried it have had times (like a three-day Independance Day holiday) where we've spent our whole allotment by the 5th (like any good addict) and then spend the whole month white knuckling it to the 1st. And rarely successful. As usual just my humble opinion. Civ

Joe Zop

07-05-04, 18:31

Professer, in addition to Civ2000's wise words, I suggest you ask yourself a very simple thing, a variation on Anderson's comment -- if you had sex with your wife one more time each week would it alleviate your urge to go to AMP's? It may not be an issue of frequency, but of control, as you have to negotiate sex in a marriage whereas you simply purchase it at an AMP.

Let's face it -- if you took that .1 you spend on AMPs and spent it specifically on romancing your wife -- taking her to dinner, out on the town, etc., you'd probably end up with more frequent sex unless there's some greater underlying trouble in your marriage. If the latter is the case, well, then everything's got a different perspective, and it's not about sexual addiction.

GettingTang

07-05-04, 19:29

I will say this, through my many years of mongering it has become completely apparent to me, that variety is the spice of life. At least for me. Sure I could settle down with a woman, get married, yada, yada, but I could likely never just have sex with one woman for the rest of my life.

Having experienced all the varieties girls offer, there is just no way. Each one is different, from how they smell, their sexuality, how their vagina feels, tastes, how they react, how sensitive they are sexually, how they give head and how some are really into the sex. (just a few examples) All these and hundreds more factors get imbedded in your mind. They don't go away. Settling for the sexuality of just one woman is no longer conceivably possible for myself.

I truly believe that Man, in general was NEVER created to be monogamous. This is simply a stigma our society places on us.

TANG~!

Chorfa1

07-06-04, 00:31

Variety is indeed the spice of life. Would you eat the same food every day, watch the same movie, vacation in the same spot over and over again? I don't know anybody who would. Why then expect the same thing from married men having sex with only their wives. After the first few months or years, it gets dull. Why can't people in the US understand that?

Dick Nasty

07-06-04, 04:35

Chorfa1,

I agree with you. I sometimes wonder why I am so sinful because I like sex, but not with the same girl all the time. I never force or hurt girls I always treat them with respect. But i also have this addiction about having sex with different women, Of course their attitude plays an important role with the women I have sex with. I try to stop my hobby but can't, I am married and I love and care my wife alot, But I also don;t know why I have the urge to have sex with others. When i am alone not with my wife, I can;t stop looking at sexy women in the mall and other places. and when I have the chance i even tried to talk to them and asked their number. I travel to Asia because I can get young and good sex at a relatively cheaper price compare I spend to have sex in the US. Well I just don't know how to stop.

Supmam

07-06-04, 06:22

I think there is a lot of people here that think being in control (and not addicted) means sleeping with one woman forever. Which is not true. Not being addicted can mean enjoying sex with different partners (including WL) as just one part of your life that gets you excited. In other words - some one who is not addicted to WL's would be able to control their desire, so as not to ruin other aspects of his life. And whether you guys like it or not - monogamy is not as "unnatural" as is suggested here. Many members of the animal kingdom are monogamous.

My comments should be read as addiction is NOT a judgement call on a person's life choices. Many many cultures openly accept multiple relationships before and after marriage. Addiction is (my original point), when you can't say no, despite the ruin it may cause to things of value - people you love, jobs, money etc.

So Tang, its cool if you don't want to be monogamous, its cool if you do. But what's not cool is when you are hurting yourself because you can't say no.

Civ - I agree, it causes a lot of endogenous substance release that are just as powerful as heroin or alcohol in the addict. I guess my point was that some people are so focussed on it "being natural" and not like a drug or something.

J Burb

07-13-04, 05:37

I cant read them all, but seeing so many perspectives here about addiction seems to suggest theres probably no real cookie cutter criteria anyone should ever guage themselves by, its seems all relative to the individual. Because everyone is unique and human behaviour is affected by such a wide and complex variety of factors, one should probably never completly trust what some book, professional, or 12 step program is telling them. In addition, because sexuality is always at such odds with morality in scociety, I find it hard to believe that even so called "unbiased" evaluations reguarding such matters arent sometimes tainted.

I realize the following may just seem like my own biased perspective to personally justify my own behaviour and I'm sure some of it has been touched on already, but for those who are still struggling with the issue, try starting with the simple biological and evolutionary facts about yourself first before jumping to a more in depth psycho-analysis. Consider this:

1) We are just another species here on this planet who's absolute highest priority above any other is "SURVIVAL".

2) The survivial of any species depends on these three things:

.A) Aquiring sustanence
.B) Protecting oneself from injury or death
.C) Reproduction

So it would stand to reason that one of the most influential and constant factors motivating any living creatures actions is based on procreation. Therefore I reject the argument "sex is less essential than food" becuase our very survival throughout history has quite literally depended apon it. We may often forget that sexual desire is really all about reproduction but we do always magically seem to remember we still want to fuck. This is no mistake. Its that constant build up of semenal pressure that needs release and the brief orgasmic reward we perpetually seek that is natures way of insuring we will aways be focused on spreading our seed no matter what. Mankind did not always know intercoarse and ejaculation caused pregnancy, it just always happened during the normal coarse of life, exactly the way its supposed to happen.

Just because we know more now, can intellectualize it, choose partners, plan families, ect, ect, does not mean our sexual desire is any less powerfull and influential over our lives than it ever was. Why do you think sex in advertising is proven to work so well? Its because its part of our evolutionary makup and genetically engrained in our personalities. It even affects those who seem to oppose open sexuality and I'm sick to death of how certian religious and puritanical "imposers of morality" convienently ignore this fact. I think making sex and the human body out to be such dirty and sinful things has created more diviancy than it ever prevented. So before anyone prematurely classifies themselves a "sex addict", just remember a strong sexual desire is as natural as eating, shitting and sleeping and is meant to be a constant driving force in your life (this includes the desire to seek multiple partners). Never should anyone be made to feel immoral or defective because of it. I'd say as often as your mind and body wants it, is probably the natural amount you could feasably have it. Some of us here at WSG are just better "go getters" who have discovered more efficiant means of getting it.

That being said, I also recognize that because the human mind has so much more potential than to just want to fuck, it would probably be a shame if thats the only thing ones spare time and money ever got devoted to. So I must agree that moderation is key to living a balanced, healthy and fulfilling life, however, only each individual can determine what moderation means to them.

Now off to hunt some more pussy! LOL

J Burb

Got Time

07-24-04, 22:18

I was recenthly busted and spent the weekend in jail. I was released monday morning, went home , showered and immedietly went out to look for some trim, I found it quick and did my thing. I know I'm addicted cause most of the money I make goes to Gas I use on my long hourly hunts, and to the women I bang. I dont spend any money on food( I get free food at work), clothes or anything else anymore just going out and banging. I'm on probation , WITH a Suspended licence and still I go out about 3-4 times a week. I'm hooked and nobody in my life suspects anything so I keep on living my double life.

Civ2000

08-08-04, 14:57

Got Time's story has all the classic elements of sexual addiction: continuation of the activity despite negative consequences.

He was arrested and jailed and the first thing he did when he got out was go straight back to it. He is broke and yet spends every spare dime on gas and hookers.

He's on probation, has a suspended license, and will basically be fucked if he gets caught. Yet he apparently can't stop.

A normal horny (non-addicted guy) would say enough is enough. This just isn't fun anymore, but the addict has little or no say in the matter.

Reading J Burbs report doesn't explain this type of behavior at all. This is not about reproduction, sexual release, high sex drive, or anything like it. It is about extremely detrimental and self-destructive behavior. There is really nothing fun or satisfying about it.

Help is available friend. I suggest you seek it out.

Civ2000

Rock the Room

08-08-04, 19:40

Just my humble opinion.

Somewhere I read that Humans are the only mammals (maybe animals, I forget) that has sex for pure pleasure. So I agree that having multiple partners, visiting MPs, etc. is only natural.

On the other hand, humans are the most sensitive beings on earth. finding out that you are being cheated on mentally emotionally rips apart a person's feelings. Especially in the conservative American culture.

Is sexual addiction a disease? No, if you can function like a normal human being in other parts of your life. Yes, if it tears apart your life like a drug.

Is having multiple partners (i.e visiting MPs, picking up SWs and others) a crime or sin? No, if affects you in a positve way, such as stress relief and other forms of mental and physical satisfaction. Yes, if it ruins your life financially and socially.

There's a thin line between the good and bad. This debate may go on until the end in time.

RTR

Macgoo

08-09-04, 21:43

Help!

I recently got access to satellite television and have , on a few occasions, watched some Porn. I noticed there is a lot of spitting during the blow job, something that I have never seen before -- and it's discusting. Now, I acknowledge that I am not the most adventurous at sex, but can someone please...please tell me what is the attraction to this. Since HIV is known to be carried through body fluids, this seem counterintuitive.

Daddy Lows

08-10-04, 03:55

Got Time,

I, uh, got the same problem. Maybe not quite as bad as you and I haven't (thank the stars) been caught by LE yet.

Macgoo,

Dude, have you ever received BBBJ by a trusted SO or girlfriend? The reason BBBJ is better than CBJ (feelings-wise) is that the spit lubes the tool,yet the suction is still there. Sometimes, with CBJ, it feels like you are getting manual jacked by someone in rubber dishgloves. There's none of that "slippage" feeling. That said, it's only natural that porn has evolved to include spitting during the BJ.

The thing that I don't get is the whole spitting in the mouth thing. By that, I mean, like when the man is getting head from the girl, he takes her jaw, opens her mouth, takes out his d*ck, then like spits a loogie in her mouth. That's a little over-the-top. I suppose it's all part of the "aggressive-I'm the boss-and I'm in contol" attitude some of the guys exhibit. Otherwise known as being the dominant.

My 2 cents. BTW, yes, I'm guilty of seeking BBBJs outside of the significant other. It's a bad habit I'm trying to kick. Honestly.

Rock the Room,

I hear ya. So far, I'm getting stress relief along with the mental and physical satisfaction. When it gets to be like being a "fix," then I'll know I need some intervention.

Peace

Dickhead

08-10-04, 11:30

Well I sold my house and car and everything I owned and moved to South America to chase pussy and BBBJs and I am not trying to kick that habit. Yes I am spending more than I planned to and no it isn't easy to turn down pussy when I still have money left. But it ain't my retirement money so why not spend it? Some guys spend their money on boats or ATVs or casinos and I spend mine on pussy. Does that make me an addict? Don't know, don't care. It sure is fun for now.

Civ2000

08-10-04, 16:20

Dickhead, I would say you are probably not an addict. It sounds like you are enjoying the hell out of banging as many South American chicks as you possibly can. Someday I hope to join you.

On the other hand it sounds like Got Time is not having as good of a time. He can't afford to buy food, can't afford new clothes, probably drives a car that is falling apart, and is on the verge of doing significant jail time.

He probably wishes he could sell his home and everything he owns and move to S. America, but he's probably up to his ears in debt and has nothing to sell.

That's all I'm trying to say here. There's nothing wrong with wanting to bang hookers everyday. I've probably banged 200 already this year alone. But when you can't afford a new pair of jeans and have to eat free food at work, it seems the hobby has become problematic. I'm willing to bet that none of this even remotely describes you.

Civ2000

Johan Waans

08-13-04, 12:11

Have been travelling a lot the past 8 years and had an awful lot of sex in my own country too. Would like to know if anyone has ever encountered this problem. Of the rare occasions i have had unprotected sex or BBBJ I always have a slight pain near the prostate, which can last for up to two months. Had all sorts of tests and the doctors do not find anything. One doctor suggested : too much sex. Could this be true, but I do not understand why it always happens during uncovered sex. Just a minor problem, but it does bother me a bit.

Johnny Sax

08-17-04, 04:51

I am married, and I read with interest some of these posts.

I am not sure if I am a sex addict or if I am just someone who loves sex so much, I cannot settle for the boredom and hum-drum life of monogamous sex. Not that sex with the wife isn't good - it is good, sometimes, and other times it is less than thrilling.

All I can say is that after TRYING to be monogamous, for 2 years, when I finally was turned loose in San Jose' Costa Rica, I went crazy! I was banging 3 times a day, eating pussy, getting bareback blow jobs, the works! I would have been happy to stay there and have sex with 3 girls a day for another month, at least!

And although I feel somewhat bad about the possiblility that I could pick up a disease and pass it to my wife, I do not feel bad about having sex with other women, because like some others here, I believe that men are MEANT to have sex with a variety of woman, men are not designed to be monogamous.

So why get married then? Legitimate question, which I will attempt to explain:

1) I did not really KNOW I could not be monogamous until I tried. I made it for 2 years before I just had to break down and have sex with a new partner.

2) I love my wife very much. She is the ideal person for me to live with, share my life with, do everything with. But her sex drive is nothing like mine, and she doesn't like to give bj's (even though we've discussed my need for it, and she loves me eating her pussy, which I also love to do).

3) I don't fall in love with the hookers at all, so there is no danger of having a relationship. It is just pure sex, and as such, it does not really impact on my marriage in an emotional way. In fact, if she wanted to have sex with guy hookers, in the same way I do with girls (no attachment), it would not bother me that much, if I knew there was no danger of emotional attachment. But then, I would not want to know about it, either.

So I am stuck in this hard place of wanting to be monogamous but having trouble doing so. And LOVING sex with new girls so much, especially in the legal hooker situation where it's so easy, all I have to do is choose one and pay her and then have fun!

So what is a married monger supposed to do???

If I had to give one or the other up (my wife, or mongering), I'd have to give up mongering, and just stick to jerking off to porn, I suppose. But all I know is, I never felt better than when I was mongering last month!

If it weren't for disease, I would have no major problem rationalizing sex with other women, because as I say, I do believe men are not meant to be monogamous and in a sane society, women would accept that men are not monogamous.

But the idea of giving my wife a disease I picked up because I got carried away with some beautiful young girl that I just HAD to eat out, gives me concern. I guess that is the "addiction" part of it - that I cannot stop myself, sometimes, from eating a girl's pussy, if she is hot enough and if she seems clean and smells good, etc... Even though I KNOW that is not a good enough reason to eat her, and I should never eat the pussy of a hooker, or anyone else for that matter. But I am just a guy who loves eating hot young girls' pussies!

So there you go. These are my confessions of sexual addiction.

Nice to know I'm not alone...

I know I'm going to get yelled at for being reckless, so go ahead. But I'm just telling it like it is, and I can only hope that the risk of getting disease from oral sex is over-blown (no pun intended).

Jordan01

08-18-04, 00:14

Hi Johnny,

Sorry to butt in here, but I just wanted to add my two cents on the "men are not meant to be monogamous" thing. I don't think it has anything to do with your gender - some people are just wired that way. There are millions of women out there who have had numerous affairs. I (and no, I'm not proud of this) am one of them. I've been unfaithful to every man I have ever been with, whether it was one night stands or a full blown affairs lasting for months. It has nothing to do with how much I love my partner or how good or bad the sex is - I'm obviously just a lowdown, dirty slapper. :)

You know, sometimes I can be outrageously horny - to the point where I'm having filthy dreams and getting wet at the sight of scantily clad people in a friggin' beer advertisement - and yet I have absolutely no desire, whatsoever, to have sex with my SO. The only thing that can fix it, is sex with someone new. I don't believe I am 'addicted' to sex - I guess I just have a short attention span. For me, a large part of the turn on IS that its with someone new. And there's just no way that a longterm SO can give me that. That's one of the reasons why I loved hooking so much. Different men, complete strangers, every day.

I've reached that point in my life now where I know what I'm like and I know what I'm capable of (and what I'm not) and I think its probably best for me to just stay single, for my prospective partners' sake. That way I am free to indulge without the constant guilt.

Now all I have to do is talk someone into shagging me!!!!!

Daddy Lows

08-18-04, 05:45

RN,

That last sentence sounds like an invite! ;)
BTW, you did mention in a PM that I looked kind of cute in my poses with this BSW (http://www.wsgforum.com/vforum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1829&perpage=15&pagenumber=3). Heh heh.

Even though I KNOW that is not a good enough reason to eat her, and I should never eat the pussy of a hooker, or anyone else for that matter. But I am just a guy who loves eating hot young girls' pussies!

Johnny Sax,

:)

Peace

Civ2000

08-19-04, 01:22

RN, What is your take on this whole sexual addiction issue?

Just as casinos can easily spot and know who the problem gamblers are e. g., the ones spending all their money and getting desperate, I assume that you as a former sex worker could spot guys whose mongering was getting out of hand and was affecting their lives and finances.

Do you believe that sex is addictive as some of us say or are you in the camp that believes as a natural function and an instinctual behavior that it can't possibly be addictive as other's have said?

Anyway I've read a bunch of your posts and always enjoy and respect your opinion on issues and would appreciate your opinion on this.

Thanks,

Civ2000

Jordan01

08-19-04, 05:46

"If I deem it worthy" Civ2000?? Who am I...the Queen of friggin' England?? lol I'm always happy to answer questions. That's why I'm here :) Hmmmm this is a hard one though and to tell the truth, I'm not really sure where I stand.

I'm one of these people with an 'addictive personality' as they say. I can become 'addicted' to things very quickly, and it could be anything from cigarettes to chocolate biscuits. If I enjoy something, I want to do it again and then the more I do it, the more I want it, blah blah blah. I am hopelessly addicted to cigarettes and caffeine - to the point where I have physical symptoms like the shakes and cramps and headaches if I don't get them. I guess I would deem them my only 'true' addictions, because I no longer use these things by CHOICE. I am compelled to smoke even though I have been treated for cancer and have circulatory problems and I desperately...honestly...DO NOT want to be a smoker any more. I can't afford the price of cigarettes and I can't afford the health risks, and yet I do it anyway.

I have met clients that are the same way with sex workers. These men will spend thousands of dollars a month seeing you twice or more a week, and then tell you that they are about to lose their house because they can't pay the mortgage. Some guys go to brothels on their wife's birthday, others drop their wives off at the shops and then run in for a quickie while she's trying on shoes. The length some guys will go to can be pretty extreme. These guys seem to have lost the power of CHOICE as well - they are compelled to feed their addiction even though its impacting negatively on their lives.

To me, that's probably the definition of true addiction - when the addiction takes top priority in your life and you no longer have a choice in the matter.

This is only my opinion, but I would say that only a very small percentage of 'sex addicts' would actually have a true addiction. In my own case, as far as sex goes, I would say I just have no willpower. For example, if I was at a party and someone I was attracted to came onto me and asked me for sex, I would probably head towards the bedroom. But if my husband suddenly walked into the room, I wouldn't go ahead with it. I would regret losing out on the chance - I may even get the other persons number for a later date! - but I would still CHOOSE not to fool around while my husband was there. However, if someone offered to pay for all my food and drinks for the rest of the night, on the condition that I didn't have a single cigarette during that time, I can almost guarantee that I'd end up lighting up within the hour, regardless.

To me, sex with someone new is fun and exciting and dangerous and a totally natural urge. Sometimes when I indulge, I betray someone. Sometimes I put myself in dangerous situations or engage in risky practices. But I wouldn't say I was an addict, because ultimately I COULD have said stop if I'd really wanted to. I just tend to get caught up in the moment. And besides, life is short - why would I choose to say no?? :)

Civ2000

08-20-04, 02:05

RN, You may not be the Queen of friggin England but you are the Queen of WSG. IMHO, of course. Thanks for your answer. Civ2000

Andrew04

08-29-04, 20:18

I've got some interesting points to bring to this topic. I believe I have had bouts with sexual addiction as well, but not really until the internet arrived.

I haven't had any relationships or even dated now for almost ten years. I'm just not seeing much out there, and when I do, the person I want isn't available. A few years ago I had no problems going to the saunas, massage and hookups and getting off. But not today. The only way I have been able to get off is joining internet sites, looking at pics and doing live chats. I can't even have sex with a real person anymore. I'm not sure what this is about. It's not getting as out of control as It's been - it seems like I join a new site and am really into it for a few weeks, but then I've seen all the pictures and read all the stories and it's more or less "out of my system" for a few months. Then the cravings come back, I do a new search and join a new site (sometimes with the same damn pictures as the other one!). I had no problems getting off on chatting with someone online until it just became too much work. In the beginning of all this my intent was to meet someone special, then it turned into cybersex, and now it's purely getting me off.

I guess I have been feeling that, a real relationship just isn't going to happen for me, but now it's gotten to - being unable to have sex with a real person either. I do know that it's much safer this way - having sex anonymously I never felt good about, but I am not sure when this borders on unhealthy. I'm not up all night, I'm not spending all my money, and I'm not suffering at school or work.

Cuba Music

08-31-04, 17:36

Funny, all those toughts about sex addiction. I always kept in mind that we are programmed to get horny when we see beautifull women.

Yes, I fuck a lot of girls and I'm married. Yes.. I feel sometimes guilty about it. Yes I'm scared that I give my wife a disease. But a definite NO. That I feel that I'm a crazy sex-addict. I think that is a feeling that is part of my man-hood. I think it's normal that you feel that you must fuck some of those beautifull woman that are teasing you every day. That's what you're made for. So sometimes I act on that (o well. I mostly pay for it, much easier :) )

Well, back to the "programmed to" part:

I think our body reacts strongly to woman (for most men). Thats in our system. (Leaving the "why" question). The big question is: What are we going to do with this feeling? Unfortunualy we (most of us do) live in in highly civilised world. Where we have rules, laws, religions, "do and dont's", agreements, peergroup-pressure, taboes etc etc. All those things run into to are heads before we act. Then we deside what to do. Do you make your own rules our do you live by them? I think I do both, but when I have the money and the opportunity I fuck the girl I want. Is that making me a sex-addict? I think that will be your perception of the "do and dont's".

(Sorry for the bad Englisch.)

The man who loves Cuban Music

EDITOR's NOTE: Posting of this report was delayed pending revisions to remove the multiple periods throughout the text. To avoid delays in future reports, please consider using a comma to separate the phrases in your sentences and a single period at the end of each sentence. Thanks!

HarryR

09-06-04, 09:47

I cannot agree with PsyberZombie that "Your 'OBSESSION' with Sex will diminish as you age" because as I age, I want it more often. I do need help sometimes with V but I would have a different woman every night (and photgraph the action) if I could afford it. I sometime manage it three times a week, like last week.

I am the total opposite of my father. He has been married for 63 years and has never had sex with another woman even though he was overseas in WW11 for almost 3 years. I want it all the time & my whole life revolves around it. I am single by choice now but when I was married, for some strange reason I remained faithful but it didn't stop me thinking about it.

For me it is an adiction and obsession but I love it.

Johnny Sax

09-18-04, 03:33

I think I do have a sexual addiction because:

I am married, I love my wife very much, and yet I still engage in risky behavior with prostitutes. But if I had my choice, I'd rather say "no" to urges to have sex with prostitutes, and possibly get a disease - or worse, give my wife one, and very likely ruin our marriage - which is the best thing that I've ever had in my life...

Yet when I am away from my wife, alone, and I can easily and affordably get a HOT sexy babe to fool around a bit, and have sex with me, I just cannot say no. I suppose I COULD say no, but something inside me (my "little brain"?) makes me feel the need to do it in spite of the dangers, in spite of the risk of getting a disease and passing it to my wife, and in spite of the moral obligation to say no.

I do use a condom, but as I said before, sometimes, if the girl is very clean and if she's very very sexy, I do feel the need to lick her pussy, which is very risky behavior. Yet, despite my telling myself not to, I sometimes get caught up in the heat of the moment, and I say, "Oh what the hell!" and I do it anyway, in spite of the risks.

So this is surely a kind of addiction, and if there were a pill I could take that would allow me to still have sex with my wife yet not want other women, I would take it!

But there is not, and when I can get alone in a place where I can have sex with a beautiful sexy girl (usually a prostitute) I just feel I "have to" have sex; and then when I'm having sex, sometimes I feel I "have to" eat her pussy. I am pretty good at always using a condom for the sex, at least; but as for the oral indulgence, I can't seem to hold back sometimes. I know, too, that the idea of eating a prostitute seems ridiculously risky and even gross to some men. But to me, if she's clean, hasn't had anyone cum inside her without a condom, then I am not bothered by the fact that she's a pro, and I want to eat her if it looks and smells good down there. Giving oral sex is just something I really enjoy. And I have friends who do the same thing with pros!

So I don't know why I"m writing these "confessions". I guess it just feels good to tell someone, and to know there are others who also find themselves in situations where they "can't help it" and participate in risky behavior.

I do agree with you, RN, that many women also cheat on their boyfriends and husbands, and you are right that it is not an instinct just of the male of the human species to "cheat" on their mate. However, I think if you were to do a major poll on the subject you would find that the MAJORITY of men have some sex outside their marriage, while the MAJORITY of women do NOT have sex with men outside of their marriage. I think, though, that this is more of a cultural and societal conditioning than a genetic thing. I think part of this, though, is that the majority of women are not as horny as the majority of men. Men tend to get very worked up over seeing women in short skirts for example, or with cleavage showing, and then they just feel a very strong urge to have sex. I think it's less of an urge for MOST women. I think for men it is instinctual to be attracted to tits and ass, moreso than it is for women to be attracted to a man's body. I think you, RN, are an exception, and there are lots of exceptions like you. But if we are talking about the MAJORITY, I still say men have more of an instinctual urge to have sex outside of marriage, than women do.

But I think if more women were like RN, the world would be a better place! People SHOULD have more sex, and with less games; just sex for sex's sake - even in marriage - such as in open relationships... In fact, I would be open to an open relationship of sorts... But my wife is WAY too conservative! She'd freak out at even the suggestion of thinking about it! I know - I've subtley explored the territory with her...

I admit it would be tough to see her having sex with someone else, or knowing she was doing so. But I think I could deal with it if we agreed to help each other pick our partners, and we kind of did it as a "couple" activity. But to know she was going out with someone else who I didn't even know - that would be tough. On the other hand, if she was going to a prostitute it wouldn't bother me nearly as much as if she was going with a "lover".

Im all over the place on this post, just kind of free-associating on the subject of sex outside of marriage... All I know is, I LOVE having sex with a variety of women! To me, it is one of the most exciting and fun things in life! If it weren't SO DAMNED GOOD, I could probably control it. But it's TOO good to give up!

AND I love my wife, very much, and hope never to have her find out I cheat on her with pros!
(By the way, in my view, having sex with a pro is much less "cheating" than if I were having an "affair" with someone, like at work; because I do not form "relationships" with the pros, I only eff them, maybe have some conversation, maybe some dancing and kissing and hugging if they will; but it's not like I have any emotions invested in them - it's just a purely physical "for fun" thing, as opposed to an affair or "relationship".)

Cujo60

09-18-04, 04:31

Sorry to add my two cents in but I do not believe that sex is an addiction, if it is than I am an addict. I have two girlfriends, steady, for the past few years. I also like to go out and find girls. Shoot this November I will be going out of the country to hopefully have a few orgies. I think we are just being human and enjoy experiencing the new. Just some of us are able to cover it up better than others, and some are able to supress the urges better. Like my sister she is 20 and has been with this guy for 5 years. She has never cheated on him, though she has fantisized it many times and has even considered it. She just has a stronger will than myself. It is just that some people are more sexual than others.

Cujo

Civ2000

09-20-04, 19:48

Cujo, Once again you like many others confuse a high libido and sexual addiction. They are not even close. It is normal for a guy to want to bang as many chicks as possible. It is an urge which starts around 12 years of age (give or take) and lasts most of our lives.

Addiction on the other hand is having sex despite it's having lost it's fun. Read Got Time's post. He is broke, has to eat at work, is in serious legal trouble, has lost his driver's license -- all because he can't stop picking up hookers.

Addicts cruise even in the midst of a herpes outbreak, have bill collectors calling the house, have lost wifes and jobs, friends and family, been arrested, are broke, and yet continue to pick up prostitutes everyday.

This is not the healthy, high sexual desire most men have. It is self destructive. If wanting sex all the time is not causing you major life problems then it's not an addiction. Period.

Got Time

09-22-04, 05:11

CIV2000: Well I posted that message back in July, I got busted in early June. Thanks for making me sound even more pathetic than I thought I was! Just kidding! If you've been reading my posts in the Los Angeles Section then you will learn that I've calmed down alot lately, mainly because of shitty selection (not into the BSW's so Figueroa is out) and I've been checking my priorities. I had to take the HIV test for the court and was negative, thats good news for everyone in LA. I later recieved a notice in the mail from the city that i was eligible for other medical services at low costs or free if I qualified. I qualified. I started seeing a counselor the first week of August and things have gotten better in my life. I got a new, better job, bought a new car (with dad's help), and started school again. I had gone from 4 times a week to 2 , then once, and now I havent been with a SW in 2 weeks.

The urge is still there, and its strong, but I have to learn to control it. I stay up at night wanting to go out on a drive to my spots but have to resist. Even when I'm in class I ponder "Should I go pick a girl after class?". It's hard , its like trying to stop smoking. I find myself reaching into my pocket and pulling out a $20 bill or two where a couple months ago it wouldn't have been there, so that helps. I KNOW I'm NOT through with SW's but for now I'm taking a break. But believe me it's not easy.

Cujo60

09-22-04, 20:41

Well now that you put it that way, I must confess that I do not have an addiction then. Sorry. Thanks for the break down of info.

Civ2000

09-24-04, 01:54

Got Time, I just use you as an example because you remind me so much of myself. Congrats on having two weeks. I've got three weeks today myself and am trying to take a break from it also. I actually haven't had to make a cash machine withdrawl in two weeks. Everytime I open my wallet it's like "wow" I still have money left.

Good Luck!

Civ2000

Steve28

09-24-04, 05:00

Hey got time the most I give you and civ2000 is about a month then back to the normal routine. I tried it once and after a month with money in my pocket I just took all the save money and went on an all night fucking fest.

Point is, it’s like a drug. You just can’t stop!

Got Time

09-24-04, 05:13

Well I realized I ve just traded in one form of sexual addiction for another. Porn. My sexual addiction started off with porn as a Teenager, then strip clubs as soon as I turned 18, then Pro's
(first did the whole AMP thing in Pomona then SW here in LA.
And the way I've been avoiding going out to a SW lately is I've been diving back into porn cause it keeps my at home. I've been spending a shit load of time down loading it. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that Sexual Addiction has to do with more than actually doing the act, it could also be it being in your head all the time and obsessing over it. Oh and by the way I picked up a girl up last night in the 7th and Union area, so there goes trying to stop cold turkey.

J Burb

10-01-04, 00:00

Johnny Sax,
This probably belongs in the safe sex section but I cant help but to comment on your delimma. I love to eat pussy too but am always in the same conflict about desease risk when it comes to providers. In some ways thats been good because it allowed something to still be exclusive between me and my GF and gave me something to look foward to with just her. Lately though I've been finding some really tasty pussy out there that I can no longer refuse. Luckily I found a work-around:

DENTAL DAM. I've never tried the actual product, but I have used NON-microvavable serran wrap as an equivelent alternative which was recommended by an HIV testing clinic. The idea may seem a little akward at first, but in practice I found there was no real loss of fun for either party and I was more comfortable with the act knowing I was protected. Give it a spin, it may be worth you piece of mind.

Remember, microwavable wrap is pourous to allow steam to escape (and can let germs in) so only the non-microvavable kind offers adequite protection.

J Burb

Hindsight

10-09-04, 20:07

Terrific post, Johnny Sax. You were speaking for me, and no doubt countless others. I'm sitting here typing this knowing I've made arrangements with a young honey for 9PM, just 2 hours from now. I don't want to go (at least my BODY doesn't). My wife is gone for 2 weeks and I'm like a drunk on a bender. Like you, I'm married and value my marriage and all she gives me very much and don't want to lose it. So why do I constantly jeopardize it? I woke up with a bad cold this morning. A non-addict says, "I've got a cold". An addict says, " Shit!! It's sero-conversion taking place. I've got HIV!!" or "I HOPE it not's HIV but maybe it's...." then I run down the list of possible STDs I've contracted because I've had my face buried in the Y of 3 little lovlies this week. It's a constant wrestling match for me. Just after an encounter I swear up and down to myself that I've got to lay off this behavior. It can't end well, I say to myself. You're given a second chance by the universe, a third, fouth and fifth. Then the universe sees that you're not learning a damn thing and that you are, in fact, a fool and puts the hammer down. You (and your wife) get that disease you've been dreading. You get embarrassment, humiliation, divorce (from the Latin meaning getting your balls ripped out through your wallet (thank you Robin Williams)), legal action and the eternal hatred of your now ex-wife, her friends and family. Your life, as you knew and loved it, is now over. The remainder of it is to be used figuring out why you did such stupid shit to begin with. One and a half hours to go now. I'm weakening. I wasn't going to go out tonight but she's SO damn cute! A little thing, petit, from Trinidad. She loves DATY like I love oxygen. And she says the sweetest things to me, too, as I do the dastardly deed. What's the harm, really? I always use a condom but LOVE DATY! Addiction is knowing the risks, and taking them regardless of the consequences. I would never put my Johnson un-sheathed in any woman. But my tongue? Well, she smelled so clean and tasted so fresh, right? I rationalize it by saying that I took all sensible precautions, did not brush or floss too close to the encounter so there'd be no nicked gums and gargled with Listerine right after DATY. Should protect me adequately, right? Yeah, right. One hour to go. I'm losing the battle. Starting to think about wrapping this up, having a shower and a drink, getting ready to go. In all honesty I never had a chance. After all, isn't that what addiction is? Something too big to defeat? Only the strongest do it and I'm not that strong of a man, really. I'll call my wife before I go. Tell her that I love her (the truth). She really does love me too, you know. It's not the sex that I hate. It's the duplicity. The worst of it is waking up in the morning and realizing that you're a fraud and a shitbag, have been for years and it's getting worse, not better. Maybe only a crash can salvage this. I'm terrified of it yet maybe I want it. No I don't. Am I crazy? Let me tell you about sweet little Miss Maraj. She's everything I'm not. Opposites attract, right? She's a fire cracker. Completely extroverted. Dresses like a flamboyant Puerto Rican chica. Shaves clean (she knows I LOVE that). Served 8 years in prison for murdering her abusive husband (yup, I'm going down on a killer tonight..( "But, baby, I'd NEVER hurt YOU !!)) She's smart but uneducated. Simple. Shrewd...Lying between her legs is a joy. She has all the right noises, all the right moves.

Times up! Gotta go. My honey is waiting. Wish me luck. I never had a chance. How does this all end?

Civ2000

10-11-04, 01:09

Hindsight, I don't think I've ever seen a better post on the subject.

Well Done!

Civ2000

Long Stroker

10-11-04, 01:36

Amen, Hindsight! Beautiful free form prose.
Excellent post.

Mat BJ

10-12-04, 21:05

Guys,

How do you stop this madness? Read about Chanel on the South Bay forum in CA. Heard she has been doing BBA to so many mongers. So what do I do. I go see her. Lucky for me I was able to resist going BBA. I used a rubber. She tried to pour Baby Oil on it to help it slide in but I stopped her in the nick of time. Went back into the pussy and she poured baby oil on her stuff anyways. At least it wasn't so tight so the rubber wasn't broke when I finished. Hopefully nothing seeped through the latex.

Moral of the story, a smart person would avoid this provider but yet I go after her based on the wild stories of others.

I wished I knew how to stop. It's like OCD, you get in this trance with a mission in mind.

Love my fiance but I still got to get my side dishes.

I can't figure.

Bandit87

10-17-04, 10:36

Ditto Longstroker,

Excellent post, Hindsight.

Shark in OC

10-17-04, 15:39

Mat,

Somebody mentioned that you posted in this room on Chanel. Shame on you. If I were trying to get over sexual addiction, a woman like Chanel would be the last person I would like to hear about!

Plus, I don't mean to be insensative, but wouldn't this be the last place to get help for sexual addiction. Right next to the "Anal Connoisseurs" section?

Sorry, but I think if you want real help, you have to divorce yourself of this and similar web sites. But that is just my opinion.

-Shark-

Tea Boy

10-25-04, 10:31

Problem is, as an ex-hooker I'd say I have a pretty darn broad mind when it comes to sleeping around - so maybe my slight obsession with sex is actually a major dysfunction and I just can't see it!

RN,
From reading your posts it does not sound as if you have a major dysfunction. Civ2000 has given a good definition of sex addiction but, if we use an analogy with alcoholism, someone may not be alcoholic but he could still be a "problem drinker". There are highly sexed people like myself, and perhaps yourself, who sometimes run into problems when their sexual desires are in conflict with other areas of their life such as family responsibilties. I was able to break the "mongering habit" a few years ago by joining a certain group. I can't give details on the open forum because it might become possible for someone to identify me. Now that my situation has changed and I have a bit of spare cash, I have once again taken up the delightful hobby.

Tea Boy

Tea Boy

10-27-04, 00:22

First off, I too often planned several pops with a pro (prior to the event) but must confess I have never done more than one. Either time constraints, rules or desire get in the way. But never an erection problem.
Prokofiev,

As someone new to this forum I am "resurrecting" some old posts, in much the same way that RN would have tried to resurrect one of her clients who came in the first five seconds. While accepting that there probably are a certain number of mongers who are more highly sexed than me for whom it is natural to come twice in a one hour session with a prostitute, I think that for the majority of mongers over 40 the desire to do so is related to a consumerist mindset rather than to sex addiction. We have been conditioned by supermarkets to go for "two for the price of one" offers, irrespective of the quality of the product.

Tea Boy

Member #2702

10-27-04, 12:12

After this SW (I have had the ho 2 weeks ago and it was all good) did a CBJ on me, I got to look at her pussy and woa, the tell-tale signs of herpes. Did her anyways, quickly and then washed myself real good. She had exceptionally long pubic hair (facilitates the STD bugs) for a Chinese and I'm most always shaved.

This has put me off some and wonder how long I can go without hooker pussy.

Zé Duron

11-03-04, 00:16

RN,
There are highly sexed people like myself, and perhaps yourself, who sometimes run into problems when their sexual desires are in conflict with other areas of their life such as family responsibilties. I was able to break the "mongering habit" a few years ago by joining a certain group. I can't give details on the open forum because it might become possible for someone to identify me. Now that my situation has changed and I have a bit of spare cash, I have once again taken up the delightful hobby.

Tea Boy

Well Tea Boy then I guess the group thing didn´t help that much!

No seriously I think that your group visits are clearly a way of getting on your feet again if one thinks that the habit is taking too much of our life.

It´s often a money question, a matter that is always limited and that should be regarded with a businessman´s eye. You need cash to make more cash and then you´re ok to go mongering.

Then there is all the social life that has to be checked out continously. I almost lost my face when I got stopped by a local police patrol while runing with a female stranger in my car! That moment might have otten me in tremendous trouble. How to explain our familiy to bail you out in that situation? What a great way of getting one´s file dirty!

Another time it was a friend who caught my eye while stranding the SW scene in Lisbon, hush what a drill to think that we almost met that night and he had a terrific alibi since he lived just around the corner and it was 2 in the morning!

I hope we live tru it without losing control on finances and social enviorment.

At least I am not married and have no children yet and I wonder if the habit is going to draw a definitive line in my life or not. I don´t truley believe in mongers that are married to be really happy when mongering? Why do it if you chose to be that bourgois and elegant as a consistent family father?
What is your child gone think about all trips daddy did if he or she finds out?

Well this is just me thinking about all the posibilities!
Life is great and look out for freebies whatever color, age or status you are.

Dhendog

12-12-04, 09:55

I know that I am addicted to sex. When sex is so important that whenever you have any kind of money in your pocket and you have to contemplate of weather you want to eat of get pussy that is too much (especially when you choose not to eat). When you can go in a city and burn a a tank of gas a day and not go anywhere but riding in the city, when the only thing on your mind is getting on the internet to find out what the latest post in WSG is so you can go looking for something new you are addicted. I like sex, but what makes me an addict is that sex runs my everyday action. If you ride down a street and see a woman walking and the first thing that you are thinking is I wonder how much it would take to get between those legs. Well I guess that really wouldn't be considered a sexual addition, but more like a mongering addiction. So in short most of us a just addiction to mongering, and like someone mentioned earlier all men in general like sex. Well I don't know about everyone else here, but I need to go and hit the streets to get some.
dhendog

Civ2000

12-28-04, 22:55

What does addiction look like? As I roam around this board, I feel like I see the answers. I see posts all the time like, "I picked up a very young looking SW who said she was 18 but she didn't have any ID. She gave me a fair CBJ for .30."

I see these types of posts all the time. Now a non-addicted monger wouldn't risk a felony arrest; jail and/or prison time; loss of employment; and having to permanently register as a sex offender merely to get a CBJ, no matter how young and cute the SW appeared. It would just be too much of a risk. He'd pass and find someone who had ID. He wouldn't be so trusting as to risk his life as he knew it.

Another post I recently read was from a monger who picks up SW's in a 60,000 dollar vehicle. Now days a lot of SW's carry drugs, crack pipes and the like and it is instant vehicle forfeiture if it's found in your car; regardless of who it belongs to. Also, he lives in an area where merely picking up a SW can result in vehicle forfeiture. A non-addicted monger would say that a $60,000 bbbj was a tad expensive and pass. To the addict -- he would not hesitate because he really can't say no.

The last example is a monger we all know and love who likes to "jackhammer" SW's in the butt. He never uses protection and has caught the nasties a couple of times this past year. He goes to the Doctor, pops a pill, waits a week, and then goes and barebacks again. The non-addicted says: "this STD thing is crazy, I'm wearing protection or not doing SW's at all." The addicted monger places bareback sex ahead of his health or well-being.

I only read a handful of threads on this board. I'm sure if you look, you could all find numerous examples of the hobby that sound more and more like addiction.

Happy New Year!

Civ2000

Johnny Sax

02-15-05, 21:12

I got horny and just HAD to have some sex, so I drove around the streets until I found some hooker. She looked pretty good from a distance so I got closer and she still looked pretty good, so I asked her in the car. I'd seen several patrol cars in the area so I knew they might see me, so when she got in the car and I drove off I looked in my rear view mirror quite often to make sure they didn't follow me.

I told her I'd give her $30 for a blow job if she'd let me see and play with her tits while she did it and so she agreed and we began to drive around looking for a place to park. Everyplace we could find was either brightly lit or there were people walking or standing around. So we drove for like 15-20 min. before we finally decided to park in an pull-in covered-but-no-door garage of an apartment building.

We pulled in and I looked around and then pulled down my pants and she began jacking me off. It felt great but at the same time I was afraid a cop would drive by - we could be seen from the street - and see us and arrest us, or someone who lived there would come to the car next to us and see us and start some shit.

Anyway, at that point, there are no objections that would stop me from getting what I came there to get. So we continued, she put the condom on and sucked me, I undid her blouse and bra and started sucking on and playing with her tits while she sucked me off.

So then she stops and I say "Don't stop now!" but she says she's done enough and needs to get back now. I found out from talking to her before -while we were searching for a parking spot - she was on crystal meth so I knew she was effed up and I wasn't going to get into any shit with her because it wasn't worth it. At least I had enough wits about me to know that it wasn't worth getting into a fight.

So she made me finish myself off while I played with her tits, which I did quickly, and then I pulled up my pants and as I did so I checked my wallet to see how much money I had left.

She says, "That's stupid! Never show a hooker you have more money with you!" I had told her I "only had $30 with me" when we negotiated, so having forgotten that, I said, "Oh, well, I forgot I had some more with me, but I have to buy groceries tonight." And she called me a liar.

All of which goes to show how much potential there was, here, for trouble. The chick had a REALLY BAD attitude once we got going, and she was being a total *****, renigging on our agreement of a blow-job for the money, and then her bailing out on that, mid-bj, her calling me a liar, etc...

On the way back she got out a bag from her purse and started drinking alcohol from a pint bottle she had in there. She probably had her crystal meth in the purse too, and of course, if we'd been busted, they'd have found that and the alcohol in the car and I'd be in BIG trouble.

Yet none of this occurred to me as I went looking for sex, and even when I realized it, before the sex, when she told me she'd been doing meth, I did not stop and let her out and go home and jack off like I should have, instead I just kept going, throwing all caution to the wind.

I dropped her off, felt very dirty from her, and went home and took a shower, washed my penis good and washed my mouth out with tequila and mouthwash.

Two days later, it occured to me: "SHIT! What happened to the condom? Did she take it off and leave it in the passenger seat area, on my wife's side of the car? What if she did, and she finds it? I'd better remember to check it VERY closely as soon as I can, later today!"

So much risk.

I could have lost my car, my license, ended up in jail on possession charges, and worse, I could lose my wife, and/or give her a disease, all because of a fucking 10 minute j.o and blow job from some fucking ***** street hooker!

This is sex addiction because I've had this same experience before, I know the risks, yet I do it again...

neo

03-26-05, 16:51

As human beings, we are essentially a polygamous species living in a monogamous society and therein lies the problem.

The sex drive is as strong as hunger or the will to survive. It is genetic and without it, we would probably become extinct as a species; without it you and I would not be here.

Unfortunately, our society restricts us by creating moral and ethical lines that we cannot cross.

Imagine a law that allowed us to eat only chicken for the rest of our lives.

It is not an addiction, its just doing what comes to us naturally!

A manifestation of supressed drive.

Imagine not eating till bedtime; what would be on your mind as the evening drew near?

Rocket science, I think not.

Consensual sex between adults is a private matter and is ridiculous to call it a crime even if money does change hands.

What is the fine line that divides girlfriend that accepts gifts and a favorite asp that you have known for years.

Why is it legal to get it free but illegal once you pay for it?

We live in an upside down world my friend.

In a perfect world, all prostitution would be legal and just as gourmet magazines have food critics working for them, my fantasy would be to work for Jackson and the WSG as a ------------

Neo "the one"

Trick Williams

03-26-05, 22:41

I think when it comes to this whole craft, you have to have a balance. I for one am not married, no girlfriend (I have friends but no one special). From M-F I go to work and hang out with friends. I like to save my hobby of mongering for the weekends. Those who go everyday or come on this board everyday have a serious problem. I think mongering is great but too much of a good thing is bad. We should try to find other things that interest us besides sex and explore new things. Those of us who are single should still try to talk to women on a regular basis cause everyone knows its easy to just get up and find a *****. Plus, I think interacting with non pros helps you not forget that not all women are sex objects. I cant even begin to know how a man who is married handles this addiction. Makes a brotha not wanna get married at all. As far as choosing between eating and mongering. IM EATING EVERYTIME! If Im strapped for cash, Im not going out period. I mean, we all have hands right? My main point is we should all try to enjoy all aspects of life and know that quenching your sexual thurst isn't everything.

neo

03-27-05, 18:03

I cant even begin to know how a man who is married handles this addiction.

Very carefully

Got Time

04-12-05, 07:49

If Im strapped for cash, Im not going out period. I mean, we all have hands right? My main point is we should all try to enjoy all aspects of life and know that quenching your sexual thurst isn't everything.To someone who is addicted to sex, their hand does not satisfy the urge. One may get off and a while later still go out and look for a ho.

Civ2000

04-17-05, 19:54

Amen Got Time, You are one of a few guys here that understand the addiction. For those who are addicted you have lost your choice whether to monger or not. You will monger and then worry about how to eat later. It's kind of like the crack addict who spends his whole check on payday weekend and then spends the next two weeks stuggling to survive. Member 2942, If we were balanced then we wouldn't be addicted. Strapped for cash? When does that ever stop a true addict?

Little Tony

04-20-05, 18:54

I think there are different levels of addiction. As a married guy, it can be difficult to balance things.

While I certainly am not addicted to the point that I would have trouble choosing between eating or having a SW, my addiction has more to do with how obsessed my mind can get about the subject.

As I've said in my posts in other forums, I choose not to monger close to home, and since I don't have a ton of chances to get away from home, my mongering is VERY planned. I usually will know at least 2 to 4 weeks in adavnce of when I'll be able to get some free time to indulge. The problem for me is that I can't think about much else once the plans are done. I have difficulty sleeping in anticipation of all the SW's I'm going to f***, remembering the great experiences I've had. Planning endlessly how I'm going to squirrel away the money so my SO doesn't know (we have a joint bank account). So while my day-to-day activity isn't run by the habit, all my thoughts and energy are focused on this one event until it happens, and then after it happens, I put it into cruise control mode, biding my time until I can create the next opportunity (through various means, I have managed to get myself to Vancouver 3 times and Spokane once in the last 3 months...now that's creative).

So even if you're not a hardcore "addict", it can still have a negative effect on your life. EVERYTHING in moderation!!!

LT

Smiling Fox

06-03-05, 08:41

guys, i am sick and tired of being labeled a sex addict. the term is a femenist reaction to sex and our changing society. dont get me wrong, i am completely in favor of women, i support women and the movement. but i am very sensative to their extreme views on men, and their roles in society. increasingly our society has downgraded our position and need in family and work life. the value of the male in society is deminished. and so the female has advanced in society, and we are seeing the changing morals. its hard to change millions of years of evolution, (or for those that dont believe in evolution, the way god created us) {lol} in 20 years and expect men to now behave in a more passive society. eventually i am sure maleness will catch up.

as men, we are plagued with testosterone, and gentlemen it is our inate nature to spread our seed to promote and help the tribe, we do not have control of this urge, or need. it is within us. i think it unfair to be labeled by society with a desease because we have a hormone that drives some of us to monger. that being said that does not give us the right to abuse, or mistreat our tribe, women and kids, but it does mean that as men i think we have the right to be relieved of the need to procreate.

so when someone says you are a sex addict, tell them that you are just a man, a real man, and would probably survive and lead the tribe well.
and remember, everything, yes everything, comes down to hormones and $.
and i do mean everything. it is what makes mankind (men and women) tick.

sorry for the lecture,
be safe,
Smilimg Fox
oh and if you need me to site sources, i can. its basic medical and anthropological history. its just not in fashion right now, so no one wants to admit it.

Roadshark

06-06-05, 04:14

The following article gives a real scenario for the sex addiction in a lot of guys - not everyone. It's worth a read, especially for you guys that are struggling. I'm one of you.

God bless, and good luck

http://www.familytreecounseling.com/fullarticle.php?aID=25

Gorilla69

06-06-05, 23:20

I live where there are no hookers, at least that I can find, a small, isolated town on an island. I know there are some, but they hang in bars I would not be found dead in even with the wife out of town. Besides, I have a very high visibility position and everyone knows me in this town. So, what am I do to? I have partaken twice in another another city since moving here, but it is dangerous, as I am always driving a rental car. Try to explain that to the boss!!

I was a mongering fool when I lived in Seattle, picking up hookers 4-7 times a week, taking them to Tubs, hotels, motels, etc. I did everything with them, usually uncovered and somehow never caught anything. Cash? I absconded with funds, maxed out credit cards and lied to cover the cost of my hobby and habit. It was worse than drugs. Hell, I even managed to finance my addiction when I was unemployed!! My wife has an idea, but has no clue as to the extent of my activities.

Addicted? Yes. To sex? We all know mongering has less to do with sex than with the hunt of strange pussy, the thrill. I actually had sex with my old lady one morning, got up, showered, got in my car, drove to work and picked up a hooker and got a blow job before nine in the morning. Did I need sex? No, it was something else. A true monger is a hunter with a penis instead of a gun, looking for that elusive perfect hooker, that number 10 who we make suck our johnson.

Interesting comments here. What do you thing of my comments?

Civ2000

06-07-05, 02:30

Smiling Fox, Those of us who may be addicted don't need a woman to tell us: we know. You are absolutely right when you say that men are full of hormones and need to have frequent sex. It is also completely natural and healthy for men to want to bang every hot chick they can. Some women (and some men) might label this as sexual addiction. Not me.

As I've stated before ad nauseum, addiction is when you continue a behavior despite negative results. When a monger promises himself for the umpteenth time that he will only monger five times this month and then finds that he has mongered away the rent money and is having to take out a payday loan. When a monger has been busted a couple of times and the next time he gets busted he knows he's going to jail for a year -- and he mongers again. When a monger is so driven to pick up a SW that he will do it in a company car or rental car knowing he will lose his job if caught. Loss of control.

Gorilla, I think your comments are right on the mark. In fact, they sound totally familiar. I spend more on mongering in a month than I do on all my other living expenses combined.

Gorilla69

06-09-05, 00:20

Yeah, Civ2000, I came close to completely ruining my life with it. I have never been adicted to drugs, alcohol or anything else, but when it comes to mongering I was nuts. No, I do NOT get what I need from the old lady and didn't then, but I also never really considered dating women at work or anything like that. I got my rocks off with SW's of all types. Strange, very strange.

Also, I am a very well educated, above average IQ, have been told I am good looking and nice to be with by woman friends. Why do I need hookers? Shrug... I guess we are all wired in strange ways.

Little Tony

06-14-05, 01:15

I agree with your comment about wiring.

I, too, fall into that same educated, above average looks category. Back when I was single, I was notorious among my friends for being a major poon-hound (over 200 non-paid sex partners), but once I started mongering, it was not uncommon for me to go out to the bars and pick a piece of "straight" ass, then drop her off and go monger into the wee hours of the morning.

I've always wondered why it appealed to me so. Additionally, although my access to funds these days is limited, in the past I've been fortunate enough to have an income that would allow me to try the relative safety of escorts, but for me there's nothing that compares to a really good (or even really bad) SW experience.

LT

Gorilla69

06-14-05, 11:12

This guy studied thousands of couples, individuals and did it scientifically and I do not think that in the end he understood more about sex than before. OH, he knew WHAT humans do sexually, to the shock and dismay of the puritanical nazis, but he still had no clue as to why different humans do different things sexually! Even if you tell me "I want SW's for sex" that is not enough. You can jack off as well as most blow jobs... Why? Why do we need them?

AFter looking at pictures of most of the ho's around it certainly is usually NOT because they are so good looking!

Hindsight

06-14-05, 18:18

You can compare mongering to all other addictions ( Gambling, drugs, alcohol etc. ) and have fairly similar comparisons. Where our hobby diverges, however, is the amount of damn TIME it takes! Among the posters here at WSG are folks like Daddy Lows: 500+ posts, Civ 2000: 600+ posts and Joe Zop with an amazing 2000 posts! Let's assume the average poster has been here reading and writing for 3 years. Using Civ 2000 as an example 600 posts means you"re writing 2 out of every three days ( Civ, I'm only using you as a mathematical example. I admire the thoughtfulness and articulation of all your posts ). The actual writing will probably take a half hour but then you're going to cruise around to all your other favorite forums and read for another half to full hour. OK, now you're done at WSG but there are all the other sites you like to spend time at. I like the wrestling websites and fucking machines.com so there goes another hour. Then, of course, I need to check my mongering e-mail and see if any replies warrant response so there goes more time. When I finally emerge, bleary-eyed, from my computer several hours later it's like coming off a drug as I try to re-enter my workday world. Posting, reading and writing take approx. 2 of 3 days, or 8 full months out of 12 spending maybe 3 hours a day hard at it. Jesus, it's no wonder we find time to sleep! And so little reward, too. How much time do you actually spend with your Johnson inserted between the lips of your little lovely for all this hard work? At least alcoholics get to sit there and fondle, nurse and enjoy their addiction constantly. Maybe I'll become a drinker. More bang (pun intended)....This addiction is entirely mental. If any of us were locked away for the rest of our lives without any chance of ever having a woman again we'd spend our entire day on the computer and be happy. Take away the computer and we'd be suicidal. The power of pussy is simply amazing.

Degenerate

06-20-05, 17:30

I think about myself and before I used to J/O regularly 2-3 times a day sometimes 5. Basically it felt good, then I got me a BJ and it was all about the sensation WOW slobber, drool, and that gooey friction that my hand could never achieve. Then Pussy came along, and man WOW just the transition from a BJ to poking the whiskers, the friction of bodies in motion and the grunting and grinding, the sensation of oneness, the beating of two hearts. That was it man I was hooked, addicted? no hooked yes. I tend to think of addiction as my need to TAP EVERY piece of A$$ in sight, I don't feel that way. I like SW's for the NSA feeling, I get myself serviced and tuned and dont have to do the DANCE that you normally would with a GF. I feel it allows me to get what I want how I want it when I want it, altho the "when" part comes from actual cruising, or in the more experienced mongers cases having a hoe oncall. Spending all your rent money on SW's MP's escort's I guess can qualify as a problem especially if you do it every paycheck. I think that it becomes an addiction when you neglect you duties in favor of that "quick" fix. I love Pussy and a girl that can suck a good dick is a keeper for me, pussy has no face but a girl with some oral skills is a girl taken care of. I like the fact that I can find a different kind of girl that has a price that can be met and pleasures me, I just dont want the intimacy that a GF brings. I like flying solo and making pit stops along the way. My grandfather told me once "dont get married, have fun instead. BUT if you have kids be responsible" I have taken that to heart and I just have FUN no kids yet so I'm safe there. But poon Tang left and right, when Im in the mood, and not the mood is in me. I have the luck that I have tried many many things and none have gotten a hold of me, I dont let them. I choose to be prisoner of some. thats the way I have always looked at it I CHOOSE. Anyway those are my thoughts on the subject.

Gorilla69

06-21-05, 00:12

Well, my old lady did and then I did... but she has not had sex with me since. She claims all this fuss about something that lasts 11 minutes on average is not worth it. I have been trying to get my fuck buddy back into the mood for a meet, but she has been too busy. I need fuck badly, but there are no SW's in this town to get!!

REad this fucking book, but hope you SO does not.

PsyberZombie

07-02-05, 08:10

Civ2000 wrote =

" I spend more on mongering in a month than I do on all my other living expenses combined "

I'm not near that point yet , Civ , but I do blow my fair share on this Hobby of ours

This year I decided to keep a little Diary of my activities , and now that July is here and the year is half over , here are the Results =

I've spent just under thirty two hundred dollars on 33 'Dates' with 17 different women
[ ~ $$ of this was on 'miscellaneous expenses' , like condoms ; strip club cover charges and drinks ; extra gas burned ; pay phones ; etc ]

The Dates themselves range from HJs to BB·FS , and the occasional lap dance , with a price range of .25 — $$

Of the 17 women , 12 were what the Brits call 'One Off' , meaning I only dated them once

The other five were on my ATF List , and were the most expensive dates and almost all were in·doors

I hooked up with the girl on the Top of my ATF list , Jo·Elle , eleven times

Casey / Catarina was next = 4 ; with Christine , Dee·Dee , and Alicia , twice each ; and the only reason I didn't get together with these girls more often was simply due to their lack of availabilty [ Alicia keeps moving and changing her digits ; Christine & Casey have been in and out of re·hab ; and Dee·Dee has been in prison for nearly three months now ]

Any·ways , I found this exercise quite instructive ; if nothing else , it gave me a good idea of how much cash I was laying out and therefore how much I need to lay aside each week

So my question is = do you guys think I'm a Sex Addict ??

Civ2000

07-02-05, 13:39

PZ, If I had to make a guess, I would guess that you are NOT a sex addict, although its not my decision to make. One would have to decide for themselves. Certainly having sex with 33 women in a six-month period doesn't automatically make one a sex addict, nor does spending an average of $530 a month on sex; especially if you can easily afford it.

The definition of addiction that most twelve step groups use is a) loss of control and b) continuation despite negative consequences., please see previous posts.

You would have to ask yourself: Do I want to quit having sex with prostitutes, and if so, have I tried and failed in my attempts to quit?

Have I been arrested, contracted diseases, lost my car, have bill collectors hounding me, lost key relationships, lost interest in everything non-sexual like playing golf etc., and still continue to engage in the hobby despite it not being nearly as much fun as it used to be?

These are all things that when they happen to the non-addict he says: "Gee, this hobby is causing me problems and angst, I think I'll do something else with my time". And then he quits picking up hookers. I see it all the time on the boards. He gets a little rash on the pubic area, sweats and prays until the doctors says its jock itch or something, and then decides the risk is too great and stops doing it. The addict inexplicably seems to have lost that choice.

With a substance like crack cocaine you hear of people becoming addicted with the first hit. Other addictions progress more slowly. One can be compulsive, a habit can be formed, and you are well on your way to addiction. There are lots of sites dedicated solely to sex addiction and could help you define it a lot better than I can. C2K

Civ2000

07-02-05, 14:06

On a board this size there must be dozens if not hundreds of guys who fit the description of addiction in my preceding post to a tee. Lets hear from you guys who don't wonder if you're an addict, but those who know you are addicts. Be brave, have some balls., after all this is an anonymous internet board. What are you scared of?

Sex addiction is pretty common. Here in Seattle alone, there are over 40 sex addiction twelve-step meetings every week that are literally packed with men. A lot of them pick up hookers., some of them post on WSG. I went to one a while back just to check it out and I was talking to a guy about hookers and WSG and he asked me my handle. I told him and come to find out he was another prolific poster whom I'd exchanged PM's and phone #'s with. Small world.

So, lets get this thread going. Do you think you're an addict? Do you know you're an addict? Then post your story.

Snake27

07-05-05, 18:44

I think Civ2000's definition of addiction is useful. At least it forces one to think if one is taking too great a risk and possibly modify one's behavior. I can offer a slightly different definition by stating what I think is NOT addiction: "IF you are single, with neither a wife nor a steady girlfriend, and if you are visiting adult prostitutes in a country or region where such practices are legal, and if you are spending less than 5% of your take-home pay or $500 per month (which ever is less) and finally if you are practicing safe sex rigorously, THEN you are very probably NOT addicted."

For those people for whom some of the conditions in the "if" clause are not met, I cannot say you are addicted, but it is at least worth considering whether you need to modify your behavior. As for myself, I'm no angel, but I live in a part of the USA where prostitution is heavily suppressed by the police, plus I have a natural aversion both to street sex in it's current horrible condition (too few attractive women, too many police, unlike 20 years ago) as well as to spending too much, i.e. more than about $200, on a single sexual encounter. The result is that "cold turkey" has been imposed on me. But I'm not completely inactive; you can see a trickle of reports on my activities elsewhere on WSG.

From my experiences I can offer the following advice to mitigate the dangers of this "addiction":

1. Practice safe sex for all acts. This includes your choice of partner (e.g. no obvious street druggies).
2. Set spending limits. E.g. 5% of your pay, or $500/month, whichever is less.
3. Avoid street prostitution.
4. Set a curfew of 2 am. Nothing good happens at 3 or 4 am.
5. Drugs and alcohol impair judgement. Don't mix them with pursuit of prostitutes.
6. Save your money for trips to safe places outside the USA.

Constantsorrow

07-07-05, 11:38

I have to admit, I am addicted. I have attempted to abstain several times only to find myself rationalizing another date. A poster on another forum put stated "I have put my dick places I wouldn't put my finger". That was a statement I could relate to. I recently had a date that scared the crap out of me. Hopefully I will be able to stop this behavior that has been so destructive in the past. I am trying to stop pulling the trigger on this game of Russian roulette so far, not so good. Do the temptations ever go away?

Hindsight

07-07-05, 20:31

No, they don't, Masterful one. At least that's what my AA, GA and NA friends tell me. You created it so you must deal with it. There are as many ways to do that as there are mongers, too. Each of us has a different definition of addiction and a different solution, too. Civ has his, Snake has his and I have mine. I suspect we're all only marginally successful at addressing it and will go to our graves with regrets, secrets and...smiles. I believe in a benevolent universe. It doesn't hate us and, in fact, wants us to succeed. It forgives and forgives and forgives our screw-ups until it sees it's not helping us one bit and then gives us a good bite on the ass to scare us. If you're aware you see this happening all the time. I had a scare last night. My wife was at her twice-a-week thing until 10PM which gave me a couple of hour window to see my honey-du-jour and get my knob polished. While locating my knob-polishing spot on an overgrown dirt road out of town I played the same mental tape I uaually do..."OK..be safe here, Hindsight. What are the dangers? Lock the door in the event of an unexpected visitor. Keep only the $$$ you intend to spend in your pocket. Hide the rest. Hide anything of value that could get stolen...." etc. I'm always very safety conscious, want a clean, enjoyable encounter and try to get home with plenty of time to spare so no explaining is necessary but...tonight was different. As I drove down my knob-polioshing road it was overgrown with bush from all the recent rain. When I tried to turn around my car got stuck..really stuck..in high grass and I couldn't make the turn. My girl was silent as I tried over and over again to get unstuck. A new tape started playing in my head..." You're really fucked here, Hindsight. Your car is stuck in the middle of nowhere and is going to need to be towed. This will take hours and while your doing this your wife, now home, will start to worry and eventually enlist the cops to help out. When you"re found you'll need to explain to the cops why you're up a lonely dirt road with a very slutty looking woman and to your wife what happened and who this woman is..." etc. Honey-du-jour was getting nervous, too. She wanted to do her work, make her money and get back to her life. She started to get bitchy and demand her money whether or not she knob-polished because.."hey, it ain't my fault you got stuck up this shitty road.." etc. so now I've got a stuck car, and pissed knob-polisher, a potential search party in blue uniforms and a very nervous wife looming on the horizon, and then my wheels grabbed, the car moved forward and life was good again. The knob-polisher relaxed into doing what she does best, thoughts of search parties and an angry wife receeded and the world was a good and decent place again. The point is this. Our addiction leads us down a path in which the end result is severe damage. Mental, emotional, financial, relationship etc. and there are signs all along this path that warn us off. When we continue we're just being blind. I should have seen the unforseen coming. If I chose to monger only when my wife was away a stuck car on a back road with a hooker would be of no consequence, easy to explain away if I had to but my addiction needed a new level of risk. Could I do this when she was gone for only a couple of hours? Sure. But the danger increased greatly, too. Will I learn anything about risk versus satisfaction? I doubt it. The progression of this addiction will make me more wary but the risk is so goddamn thrilling, isn't it? I'll be super-cautious but some unforseen pitfall may get me, one I won't be able to escape from. They say no addict changes until he hits bottom.

Smiling Fox

07-08-05, 10:51

ok rico, i read the article.
look i understand the hardships that families go through, and guys suffer with.
i am not unsypathetic, or insensative to the problem.

first of all. guilt, guys if you do something you are going to feel guilty for, for gods sake dont do it. or dont feel guilty. take responsiblity for your feelings.
guilt is societys way of controlling you. so dont feel guilty or dont do the deed!!!!!

second, this couple went to therapy, group session. is it an addiction, hmmm, or are they merly involved with behavior modification. tell me, if a group of people tell you that having sex for pleasure is wrong, after awhile of group pressure, you actually believe its wrong, hmm sounds like brain washing, behavior modification. your religous beliefs are based on this concept, our society, and who we are as a nation, is based on it. if the group feels that your behavior is wrong, well it must be. so they send you to school a "group" for couselling and your behavior is changed.

well this term sex addict is new. only since the femisnist movement. before that we were just perverts and degenerates, which we still are probably.
but now we have a "medical term" SEXUAL ADDICTION".

so i think its just a bunch of bunk. and i dont like the label, i dont care about the deed. so im a degenerate, and a pervert, i have loose sexall morals, ok, but am i addicted. na,,,,,,,,, i like picking up babes, i have ever since i was young. and you know when your sitting in the bar talkin with your buddies, they alway tell you about the babe they saw hitching, but nooooo they would never pick up the girl, uh uh,cause they probably have deseases and on and on and on,,,, but you see they really wanted to pick her up, its the males nature to spread his seed to every available female. thats why we are males.

now i dont want to cause a malstrom here, if you disagree with me, thats fine, this little ditty is just an opinion, and we all have them. and you guys may be hooked on sex, or not, what bugs me so, is the guilt and shame "they" try to thrust on us. i dont accept it. so if you think mongering is wrong, gosh dont do it, and if its not wrong gosh dont feel guilty, and dont let them make you feel guilty. i think thats what im trying to say.

thanks for the soap box
Smiling Fox

Gorilla69

07-08-05, 11:22

The addiction part has to do with behaviour we cannot control, not guilt. I agree that society would like to make us all pariahs. Feminists want to emplower women sexually, but heaven forbid if men need to satisfy their biological imperative of spreading thier seed. Society is all screwed up about sex. I saw Real Sex #31 on HBO with the old lady the other night. It titillates and interests her but woudl she ever have anal? group sex? Nope. But we like to watch it, then call the people that do it perverts.

I am a libertarian. About the only sexual behaviour I abhore is sex with children. Animals are fair game, never done it but won't knock someone elses fun! Pot should be legal and taxed and prostitution should also be legal, but in our increasingly puritanical society (hypocriticlly puritanical) this will never happen.

I really believe that the program against sexual addiction is bunk... pure bunk. I would be addicted to hookers if there were any here, but it has little to do with sex, but the thrill and the hunt, not the acts... just my opinion.

Good discussions!! I will never criticise you for your ideas or thoughts; we all have our views and I don't think any of us are 100% right or wrong.

Constantsorrow

07-08-05, 11:36

Hindsight, I read your post about the dirt road and was LMAO. Not because I thought it was funny but because I could see myself in the exact same situation and knowing I would be screwed. Try explaining 4 tickets in the space of 9 days.
We are slapped in the face with these warnings and promise ourselves "That's the last time I am going to do that". For the next few days, weeks, months we are successful. My time span has been more like hours. I have been faced with the two weeks of hell waiting for the test results to come back a few times. Knowing I will never monger again because the pain and dread isn't worth it. Then you get the good news and hit the street to celebrate. Crap! Or should I say craps? It is a crap shoot, isn't it? You roll the dice and take your chances. I know that the odds say one out of every 6 rolls is craps.
So far, so good. It's been about a week since I have stopped mongering and have only slipped once. Craps.
I was so happy last night. I had three hours free and available and didn't hit the street. Then it hit me, I just barely made it for 3 hours. What am I going to do for the next three years? Craps.
I am addicted and want to stop. Just between you and I (and everyone else in the world reading this forum) I don't think I am going to be very successful at stopping. Here is the real dinger. I am at a point in my life where I can't start over. It's not that I would not be willing to try and start over, I simply couldn't, there isn't enough time left. When the ax falls, so will I. Have I hit bottom? It sure feels like it.
I have now gotten myself completely depressed. Dumping my load in some street walker would make me feel better. I think I will go find one, but not today. Tomorrow will soon enough. Craps, I lose.

bluishballs

07-08-05, 14:25

My first time at a mp, I didn't get it on, but it wasn't from guilt. The lady was in her fourties, but her face had wrinkles. (I guess some asian women age a little faster.) I went like every other guy, to shoot the load, but I couldn't get turned on. I left the place with blue balls and felt very guilty for letting that woman down. She was trying real, real hard to get me up. What a way to shoot down her confidence in her sexual appeal.

Civ2000

07-10-05, 02:35

Smiling Fox, For the most part I don't agree with you. I have seen some guys in sexual addiction 12-step groups because they were brow beated by their wives having been caught in an affair or something. They merely go to meetings to save their marriages and put up the illusion that they are trying to solve the problem.

For most guys however, guilt plays no part in their labeling themselves as sex addicts. Very simply, picking up prostitutes, phone sex, internet sex, fill in the blank sex, has become very problematic for them and despite repeated attempts to eliminate or control the behavior that is causing them problems, they find they simply cannot stop. If you were trying to quit smoking and couldn't, you would probably say you were addicted. The same goes for picking up SW's.

Like I've said over and over, all guys in the bar are basically the same and want to bang every chick they can. This is not rocket science. However, when you ask that same group of bar guys if they still want to bang that same chick but theres a fair chance they will lose their car, get arrested, contract herpes, lose their job, get robbed, get beat up by a pimp, and end up spending money they don't have, you might have one guy left in the bar who is still willing to have sex with her despite the risks. You have now discovered who the sex addict is.

Constantsorrow

07-11-05, 00:33

Well put CIV2000. For me, guilt doesn't have nearly as much to do with it as much as all the risks we take. So far so good. It also helps that my regular has wigged out and is doing stupid crap. Perhaps that's another reason to consider stopping, for at least a while.

Boston Eater

08-01-05, 23:42

I've considered one of those programs too, but ultimately it's a demon that's hard to stop and control. and the ones I've found use Jesus as a crutch to try to "save me" and I'm not the least bit interested in changing religions.

I find that guilt is a part of it though. guilt over spending money for sex, or for considering these women as objects, or the feeling that they are looking at me as a gross slob and that they will lie about me being handsome int he name of the all-mighty dollar.

I would love to be able to stop, but it's difficult. especially with the bevy of babes out there.

I even tried seeing a counselor and I thought she was going to slap me when i told her I thought I was a sex addict. she looked totally disgusted that I look at women that way.

Oh well. i'm glad I'm not the only one.

Hindsight

08-03-05, 04:32

If you've ever had a severe traffic accident you know the progression. We notice danger first which produces increased anxiety. Then your entire being is engaged to do absolutely whatever is needed to avoid the crash but, at some point, you realize it's hopeless and it's now in God's hands. As you hurtle toward the completion of the accident you realize you no longer have control over the result. You only know it's going to be bad, it's out of your hands and you hope you can walk away with as little damage to your life as possible. My mongering is a bit like this. For a long time I was a safe mongerer. I'd only troll when it was very, very safe and my wife was a long ways away. At some point, as the addiction increased, the risk factor escalated too. It was OK if she was home and I'd troll when she was safely at work. The next step was to cruise the streets when she was out for a few hours at night. A few times dicey situations happened which could have been disastrous but all turned out well. Recently, because my computer skills are terrible, I left an incriminating cut-and-paste on my computer which we were temporarily sharing and my wife now knows that all is not what it appears to be. I had some serious explaining to do. This is the point in the accident-mongering analogy where the car is no longer in control and I'm hoping the inevitable crash will not be deadly and life changing. At some point I've slipped over the line into making the little mistakes which will eventually be my undoing. I'm trying to regain control here but it's not going well and I sure hope I hit soft concrete when the crash happens. The ironic thing is that I don't consider my behavior to be bad or immoral. It's simply one way out of millions of conducting a sex life. What IS wrong and immoral, though, is the DUPLICITY it engenders. It poisons things. In all other areas of my life I consider myself to be a fine, upstanding guy but in this matter I am a Grade A, hopless shitbag.

Constantsorrow

08-04-05, 13:02

It looks like several of us are seeing the warning signs and ignoring them. I for one have been somewhat successful in curbing my mongering. The down side is it has taken 4 good scares for the lesson to finally sink in. Even then it hasn't stopped me.
What do you do? Every sore throat and you think it's aids, every pimple is a STD. You are out driving around with your GF or wife and a SW waves at your car because they know it.
This sucks but it feels pretty good. Jane, stop this crazy thing.

Tag your it.

P.S. Hindsight, don't change your routines. If you do, your wife will notice. Instead, change the things you do during the time you would normally be mongering. If and when your wife calls or whatever, you have a cover story that can be verrified. In a past life, I actually went to church meetings a few times. When my X wife asked me about where I was last night so late, I told her I was talking to a minister about faith. I had enough details that she was convinced and didn't question me about my habbits for a while. I know, shame on me. Being an agnostic, I don't worry about GOD striking me dead, just the Karma and Mojo.

PsyberZombie

08-05-05, 20:25

According to the U.S. Dept of Justice's Manual on Street Prostitution , here are the Reasons why We Mongers
do what we do =

• Attraction to the illicit nature of the encounter

• Desire varieties of sex regular partners do not provide

• View Sex as merely a commodity

• Lack interest in or access to a conventional relationship

Does any of this ring a bell for any of youz guyz ??

Also from that Manual = some·where between 10 — 20 % of men in the general population admit to having paid for Sex ; but only about 1 % admit to paying for sex 'regularly'

A Monger's decision to solicit a SW is influenced by =

• Availability of Prostitutes

• Knowledge of where to locate them

• Access to money

• Perceived Risk of getting caught or contracting diseases , and

• Ease of securing 'Services'

Hmmm.... these Feds seem to know just a *wee* bit too much about us to be totally Innocent them·selves , wouldn't you say ??

Civ2000

08-05-05, 21:23

If you do a google search of sex addicts anonymous, you can probably find a group in your area. It's too bad that the twelve steps mention God so frequently, because it scares a lot of people away. What you learn after going for a while is that lots of people in twelve step meetings don't believe in God and that anything greater than you can be your higher power. For example: the group using all its knowledge and resources to help you can be your higher power. Belief in a religion is completely optional, unless of course you're going to a church sponsored meeting.

I've been to a couple of counselors myself. Most women therapists don't want to be anywhere near a sex addict, however, some specialize in sexual addiction. In a city the size of Boston there must be a couple of dozen women, and even more men counselors that could be of help. In Seattle, both my therapists were women and I thought they were great. Bottom-line however, is going to meetings and therapy is of zero value if you don't want to quit. I can see how destructive this hobby is to my life, yet can't envision a future where I don't have sex with young and good-looking SW's.

Like Hindsight, I can see the accident up ahead. Everything is going in slow motion and I'm powerless to prevent it. Everytime I start my car engine, a brief moment of dread drifts over me and I wonder if this is the night: I get busted, get caught in the act, get robbed, contract a disease, girlfriend finds out, go to jail, accidently pick up some jail bait that looks "old enough", have a pimp point a gun at me., etc. The list goes on and on. I quickly put the notion out of my head, but that nagging question: "I've been lucky for so long, when will my number get called?"

Like Masterful One, every ailment small and large is cause for concern. To everyone else I know a cancor sore is just that. To me its cause for major alarm. Hmmm....it's been two weeks since I had a slip-up, and I'm not having symptoms, is it safe to have sex with the girlfriend without a condom? She's getting suspicious, but will be even more so if I insist on wearing one. Questions like that haunt me all the time.

Anyway, wish me luck guys. I've gone thirty days without picking up a SW today. It's a milestone I've only achieved three times in the past twenty years. Civ2000

TalentScout

08-12-05, 12:35

Im not sure i buy into what is commonly called sexual addiction. If "sexual addiction" is valid, why is prostitution the oldest known profession? Why are strip clubs so profitable? Why is the world wide sex trade to profitable? When i was in the military every guy was a monger and we joked about it. Even caught the chaplain in the ***** house.

Pick up a girl in a bar and the guys pat you on the back, but get caught buying it and you are the laughing stock and labeled a pervert.

Just watch daytime television, most of the guys on those shows are labeled perverts because they are poon hounds. Guess what? We are wired that way. I am not into drugs but i am hormone driven, just like any other guy.

Does that make me a pervert? According to daytime talk shows it does.

Modern society wants to make women equal to men, that means empowerment. It also means the percieved power of women over men, the power to reject. This gives women power to define what is and what is not normal sexual behavior. The only real social power a woman has is her sex appeal. Ever see a toothless saleswoman? How about a 250lb CEO? You will not see it either. They are very well put together women who are knock outs.

What this boils down to is guilt, guilt for wanting a reliable piece of ass. I for one refuse to feel guilty about needing a piece of ass.

Civ2000

08-12-05, 18:45

IronRod, I'm not sure I follow your reasoning here. Maybe you could further explain. Would your post make any more sense if you inserted some other addictive things in your post: for example,

If nicotine addiction is valid, then why have cigarettes been around so long?
Why is the heroin/cocaine trade so profitable? See, your post doesn't make sense. Sorry.

I won't bother refuting your argument, but if you read my last several posts on the subject they will do that quite nicely. Civ2000

Best Tx Monger

08-16-05, 20:25

Loyal USASG fans!

Golden Eye must un-willingly admitt but have not come quite come to the terms that I am a sexual addict and just another chauvinistic pig. Just what exactly constitutes an addict? To be honest with you, but above all ourselves, I truly and respectfully believe that no one has the answer to this issue.

The fact that you are specifically reading this very post at this very point in time tells me that you have perhaps pondered about quitting the sport. Perhaps you are looking for some sort of allevation / rationalization of the behavior that you possess. Maybe you are trying to knock away that profound sense of guilt that you have deep inside you.

I have tried to quit but REMEMBER that just like an athlete competing in the Olympic games, it is mind the succumbs the body. Perhaps when you go the gym and you are doing the bench press. It is the mind that gives up first, immediately following that is your body.

No, I don't have an answer but perhaps I am here to rationalize my behavior just like you? What I do know is the following;

I have been in situations in which I even taken a sw to a crack house just so that I could get some of that ass. I have endangered my vehicle, my personal profile, and even my life just for the thrill.

It is an addiction unlike any other. I have been with with so many drug addicts and I am totally clean. I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. Yet my girlfriend is WAY better looking than all the sw's that I have ever dated. Yet I still go out there ??? Why? Perhaps it is the thrill, I really do not know!

Maybe If I was married to Gina Lynn I would stop. I really do not know. Everytime that I have gone out and looked for a sw and then see my girlfriend I feel bad for her for the sorry coward that I am.

She takes care of me and is such a sweetheart but yet I go with these other woman. I have endangered her of getting a disease as well as myself.

Why? I don't know but what I do know in all of this internal turmoil that I am going thru, is that I wanna stop, but I CAN'T!

007

Flock of Hope

08-18-05, 16:12

I have been in situations in which I even taken a sw to a crack house just so that I could get some of that ass. I have endangered my vehicle, my personal profile, and even my life just for the thrill.

It is an addiction unlike any other. I have been with with so many drug addicts and I am totally clean. I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. Yet my girlfriend is WAY better looking than all the sw's that I have ever dated. Yet I still go out there ??? Why? Perhaps it is the thrill, I really do not know!

Maybe If I was married to Gina Lynn I would stop. I really do not know. Everytime that I have gone out and looked for a sw and then see my girlfriend I feel bad for her for the sorry coward that I am.

She takes care of me and is such a sweetheart but yet I go with these other woman. I have endangered her of getting a disease as well as myself.

Why? I don't know but what I do know in all of this internal turmoil that I am going thru, is that I wanna stop, but I CAN'T!

Goldeneye,

You sure hit the nail on the head cuz that is so much like my story. As a long time monger I have resided in calling my little addiction "The Beast". Whenever the Beast gets hungry I must feed him. Although he is somewhat under control at times when he is sleeping; he always lets me know who is in charge. For example, I may be having a great week when out of the blue he wakes up, jumps on my back and begins to unleash his wrath upon me.

He has done things to me that I will never understand. He has had me waste gasoline driving around and around in his quest for satisfaction. I've been in drug dens, crack houses, cheap hotels, and even a shantytown to feed him. I've risked arrest, my automobile, my freedom, and even my life for him. Oh and let's not forget the SW's that I've been with. Although most have had acceptable looks, some have been downright DISGUSTING hags(and I do mean discusting). And the risk for STD's? That is a horror in itself.

I've always enforced a double protection policy, however lately the Beast has been making me kiss SW's and recieve BBBj's. He usually wakes me up in the middle of the night and makes me lie, then steal to accomodate him. I have asked my beautiful and loving girlfriend to hide the car keys, and the bank cards to elude him, but to no avail . When she asks why I want those things hidden I make up a lie about going out on late night eating binges, up to the casino, or some other stupid crap. When she does hide them , the Beast has me go out on foot patrol.

Sometimes he wants to be fed three nights in a row. I want to stop but I can't control him. Once he has had his fill he will go back to sleep, and I will go home feeling guilty as hell and very nervous for the days that follow. I have been out feeding him for that last couple of nights and it seems as though he is sleeping again, for now anyway. I really wish that I could get him out of my life and off of my back but nothing seems to work. I ponder my future.

PsyberZombie

08-20-05, 08:31

Flock of Hope has it *Bad* !! =

" I want to stop but I can't control him.... I really wish that I could get him out of my life and off of my back but nothing seems to work. I ponder my future "

You really need to see a Psychiatrist and get started on some Chemical Castration Therapy , Flock·er

For more on this subject , read the following =

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_castration

http://www.law.fsu.edu/journals/lawreview/frames/252/spalfram.html

For my own view on Psychiatrists , go to =

http://*******.com/7e5oo

Constantsorrow

08-26-05, 13:27

While I haven't stopped completely, I have been able to change some of my habits. I won't even let a SW touch my johnson with out a condom on. No more kissing. I carry baby wipes as well as sanitizer with the crap that even kills the herpes virus, I don't even suck on those nipples anymore. In short, half the fun is now missing yet I still don't stop. I believe I have come to terms with my addiction. It is an addiction. I have no doubt this hobby of mine will be my undoing but like Mr. Kennedy once said, I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

One Wing Low

08-26-05, 18:43

One is as addicted to sex as is to food or air.

It's the survival instincts built into all creatures' genes.

I believe I have come to terms with my addiction. It is an addiction. I have no doubt this hobby of mine will be my undoing but like Mr. Kennedy once said, I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Best Tx Monger

08-29-05, 18:30

This is an arduos topic for me to talk about. Why? I really do not have an answer that I can retaliate with and walk away from it comfortably without hesitating and looking back.

It is a rather profound and one of the most personal secrets that a human can posess. That is of course their sexual life. The other day I let a sw give me a bbbj. Did I ponder or second guess my decision?

Of course not !! Why? To that I have to think about, I really do not know why. Would my g/f of five years break up with me if she knew what I did? Yes she would ! Would I ever re-visit in letting her know? Hell no !!!

Having said all that, the only thing that I am left with is guilt and each day I become more aware of how bad this addiction is. It is like having two seperate lives.

Yet, I can go and see this fine ass gal for $200 and get everything but yet it is not the same as chasing the street and finding that piece of meat. It is almost like watching baseball on tv and going to the actual game.

In the actual game you can eat a hot dog, feel the breeze and get up and cheer.

Same thing with this addiction, you can go to an in-call place and this and that but it is not as self-satisfying as chasing a sw. The danger in it is the gene that makes it all the best! I wan't to stop, but I can't 'nor do I wanna get help 'cause I am still in denial.

Golden Eye

Hindsight

08-29-05, 20:11

PsyberZombie,

Lighten up on Flock of Hope a little. Chemical castration because the man admits to seriously wrestling with the pussy demons? Jesus, by your standards all of us should be lined up for the toxic guillotine! I'd call Flock simply honest. And very concerned about where all his mongering is leading him, as are all of us who post here. I can certainly see a lot of myself in his post. I've woke up many mornings shocked at where the night before has taken me. I've recently swore off the lower east side of Vancouver because, well, I've met just too many drug-addled crazies there and the wheel will spin only so many times before my number comes up as a statistic in some sense. Either as a crime victim, an entry on the police blotter, a defendant in divorce court etc. Recently, I had a little lovely go into a screaming rage at me apres BJ because I did not take her back to the EXACT corner I found her at. My only defense was to appear crazier than her. I started mumbling, then shaking my head in a seemingly uncontrollable way, then drooling a little to appear loonier than her, then widening my eyes as I stared at her. She got very afraid and leaped out of the car at her first chance but what if I read her wrong and she was certifiably nuts and all my charades meant nothing to her? You see what I mean? Can I make my new vow stick? I doubt it. I'm ultimately weaker than my addiction but I struggle on as all of us do. In my case, I hope to age out of the game before the crash but I'd only give myself 50-50. We're all kind of like the heavyweight boxing champion who tries and tries in the face of increasing age and diminishing ability to scratch out just one more win so they can avoid doing the most demeaning thing a fighter can wind up doing....greeting customers at Caesar's Palace! On this forum, above all others at USASG, I suggest compassion to each other and ourselves. People who like to play with dynamite need concern, understanding, kindness, and plenty of space.

Member #2128

09-03-05, 04:18

This is my first visit to this part of the SG Forum. I am brought to my knees when I read what you guys have been writing about here. Everything you speak of is something that I have done or thought, or maybe even said without speaking out loud. I am a monger and I am an sex addict. In some sense, I believe they are the same thing. Let me explain what I'm thinking about here.

I've noticed, as others have mentioned as well, that my mongering goes through periods of escalation. Not only in frequency, but in the risk of being caught, exposed and punished (by the law, by disease, by social stigma, by financial difficulty, by my wife's anger and distress). It ebbs and flows, but it always gets worse. I seem to take more and chances and and to increase the risk....until I reach a point of fear and remorse and say "NO MORE!". At that point I create a rationalized boundary that I think will protect me. I draw a line. No more SW. Only INCALLS. No more than $120/per encounter. I hold the boundary for a while, get comfortable, then break it. The rationalization point moves up a notch...Only SW in this particular part of town. No more than $150/per encounter. And the beat goes on. So what I'm saying is that maybe the "addiction" part of this thing is that it PROGRESSES. It gets to be more---more encounters, more money spent, more risks taken, until slowly and inevitably it creeps towards that car crash that was mentioned here. The addict's BOTTOM.

I've been continuously paying for sex for at least 30 years, starting in my early twenties in NYC when $10 Massages were offered in rooms all over midtown Manhattan and guys on the streets would openly and publicly pass out small sheets of paper with the parlor address and a hot picture of a babe to anyone who would take them. You'd duck into the doorway indicated, climb two flights of stairs, open a door, see a room full of burned out, middle aged Puerto Rican women, point to one, take her to a cubicle and get a quick BBBJ or a greased HJ while you played with her soft tits and loose pussy. All the places were crowded. The traffic flowed in and out. It felt like it was almost legal and harmless to all concerned. No one was a monger, or an addict. It was just part of the lunch break, damn!

Now (TODAY!) and two marriages later, I'm travelling out of my middle class suburban neighborhood, into the downtown ghetto where I look a lot like someone who doesn't belong there, parking my car on a side street with a thought blinking on and off, like an alarm, that it could be stolen or vandalized, standing out on a liquor store corner dropping quarters into a pay phone to make my connection (protect that cell phone #, right!), walking into a "resident hotel" and entering through a front door covered with enough security wire to make it look like a cage, walking past a guy in the dim lobby that has a foul smell, a guy who looks at me like he wants to kill me and maybe behind those eyes he's thinking just that and planning to follow me up the stairs to the room where I meet the scabby hooker with missing teeth who does things and lets me do things that get me off in about 20 quick minutes. Out on the street, rushing back to see if I still have a car, I'm thinking to myself "What was that all about!"

Or, maybe not worse, but more screwed up---I'm placing ads on Craig's List that say I'm willing to be a "benefactor" and getting responses from wacked out chicks who want to meet me for coffee and tell me their life story and find out a little about me and have me registering in hotel rooms and showing my ACTUAL Driver's License to people who write down the numbers and who start calling my Voice Mail number and leaving messages about wanting to see me and soon the thing is really worming into my "real" life and I'm having visions of the movie FATAL ATTRACTION happening to me when I need to cut the crazy chick off.

There you have it....from $10 quickie to Living Nightmare in 30 short years. And yet, sick, sometimes when I'm cruising, just looking for that one kind of special type of fantasy female with the shape and the stuff that somehow, some way, in the sex brain became my vision of a dirty f**k toy and I'm thinking that this might be the day, the exact hour, that she might appear on the next block, or around the next corner, walking that slow walk, or sitting on the next bus bench....I'm happy. I know that at that moment I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing!

Will this thing run its course through my life, leaving its track marks in places where no one can see? Or will I be busted, diseased and/or disgraced before it's over? Maybe as I age even further, I will simply lose interest or feel so much like a pathetic old man that I will shamed by the condescending and patronizing remarks of the 20 something hookers, who after the cumming, ask the question: "Are you OK?"

I am powerless.

#2128

PsyberZombie

09-03-05, 20:18

Webcams

09-04-05, 02:17

Save the bullshit I am Not a poet & I know it. Thought it would be fun to write.

A Mongers Night©
2am & It's Last Call
And there’s No Pussy Here At All
My Cock Is Hard I Wanna Fuck
I Don't Care If I Have To Pay a Buck

I'll Drive All Night to No Avail
Tryin To Buy Me Some Tail

To Downtown I Ride Tonight
Into The Seedy Den of Blight
Will I Make It Through the Night?
Will I See the Morning Light
Is This Driving All In Vain
Have I Lost My Mind Am I Insane

What Will I Find What Will I See
18 Or 50 We Shall See

Scattered Along the Beaten Rows
Old Used Up Skanky Toothless Hoes
This Ain't What I Want To Fuck
Another Track I'll Try My Luck

I Fill My Tank Full Of Gas
Ill Drive All Night to Get Some Ass

Off To Another Stroll I Go
Hoping To Find A Girl That Blows

Sometimes I Don’t Know Why I'm Here
Waiting For A New Girl To Appear
How Did I Start I Don't Know
I’m Way To Smart To Pick Up A Ho

Rich Or Poor
Street Entrepreneur
We All Clash In Search Of Gash
Hoping To Find Some Young White Trash

I Make The Turns Out On The Track
Passing The Girls Smokin Crack

Cops Go By In There Black And White's
Thank God The Pigs Aren't All That Bright
A Young Girl Strolls In The Moonlight
Wearing A Dress That’s Nice And Tight

Her Little Dress Rides Up Her Thigh
Wearing Heels And Stockings She's Not Shy

That's The Look That I've Been Seeking
In The Night I Keep On Sneaking

I Come Around The Block To See
Make Sure No Ones Watching Me

I Roll My Window Down To Talk
She Struts Over With A s l u t Walk

She Leans Into My Car To Say
How Much Are You Willing To Pay

She Ask's Me What I'm Lookin For
Tells Me That She's A Total w h o r e

18 Years Old Is All
Guarantees We'll Have A Ball

The Price A Jackson And A Grant
On All Fours She's Gonna Pant

She Gets In And Off We Go
Will Get A Room And Then I'll Blow

To The Seedy Motel We Drive
I Flip The Guy A Jackson He Says Room 205

He Know's Why Were There & Doesn't Care
I Get The Key And Walk The Stairs

Into The Room We Go
This Girls Not Gonna Take It Slow

She Hikes Her Dress She Gets Her Cash
My Dick Comes Out Slips In Her Gash

I Slam My Cock Into Her Wet Hole
I Fuck Her Hard Until I Blow

I Clean Up Fast And Wipe My Dick
We Get Dressed And Then We Split

I Drop Her Off On 92
Another Guy She Has To Screw

Another Mongers Deed Is Done
How Long Before I Get Another One

The Girls I See Walkin The Street
There Heels Hitting Cold Concrete

They Don't Care What My Name Is
It's All Part Of The Ho Biz

For Some Cash They Are For Rent
I Guess One Day I Will Repent

Mongers Cruise On Every Track
Day And Night They Double Back

From La to New York
There’s Always Willing Girls to Pork

One Things the Same in Every Town
There’s A Girl Willing to Go Down

Cash Is King and Guys All Know
For A Price the Girls Will Blow

Every Girl Has There Price
Every Guy Has His Vice

A Diamond Ring on Her Finger
Might Just Be the Price to Get Up In Her

If You Can Stay With One Girl Forever
That's a Feat Quite an Endeavor

I've Tried and Failed I Must Admit
I Have To Be In Every Slit

I Guess a Monger I'll Always Be
Pay For Pussy or Get It Free

I'll Die Alone a Lonely Life
To Me It Beats Payin Some Ex Wife

The Pigs and Pimps Disease and Death
We Fight Them All It's Not Macbeth

So To Every Monger I Salute
In This Wild Pussy Pursuit

Be Safe Have Fun Fuck Everyone
Remember It's Not Over Till You Cum

John Rider

09-04-05, 05:46

Butchcasidy

09-04-05, 23:15

I guess yuo could say I am addicted. I try to find the sweet ones and then fantisize about trying to make them my girlfriend. I guess u could say I pay them, but not much money. I have worked the other angle, being nice, but in the long run I sould just pay the rate, get my nut, and hit the road.

The problem with my addiction is I want to save them. Being fed the young, juicy pussy, makes me want to help save them even more. Today I am in transition, cause I want to see and get my nut off with the last one I was with, but she can not be saved.

I do not want to start the process over again because I know it will not work, but I do not really get off payin money for sex. I guess I will have to wait my time.

PsyberZombie

09-05-05, 08:53

What's everyone trying to figure out here!? If it was not so many SEX ADDICTS then nobody of us will exist on this world.

How many times in a week have to think in sex for not been a SEX ADDICT? .

All this term turn me sick!

The best response to your question was written a while back by admitted Sex Addict Civ2000 =

For most guys however, guilt plays no part in their labeling themselves as sex addicts. Very simply, picking up prostitutes, phone sex, internet sex, fill in the blank sex, has become very problematic for them and despite repeated attempts to eliminate or control the behavior that is causing them problems, they find they simply cannot stop. If you were trying to quit smoking and couldn't, you would probably say you were addicted. The same goes for picking up SW's.

Like I've said over and over, all guys in the bar are basically the same and want to bang every chick they can. This is not rocket science. However, when you ask that same group of bar guys if they still want to bang that same chick but theres a fair chance they will lose their car, get arrested, contract herpes, lose their job, get robbed, get beat up by a pimp, and end up spending money they don't have, you might have one guy left in the bar who is still willing to have sex with her despite the risks. You have now discovered who the sex addict is.

The definition of addiction that most twelve step groups use is a) loss of control and b) continuation despite negative consequences., please see previous posts.

You would have to ask yourself: Do I want to quit having sex with prostitutes, and if so, have I tried and failed in my attempts to quit?

Have I been arrested, contracted diseases, lost my car, have bill collectors hounding me, lost key relationships, lost interest in everything non-sexual like playing golf etc., and still continue to engage in the hobby despite it not being nearly as much fun as it used to be?

These are all things that when they happen to the non-addict he says: "Gee, this hobby is causing me problems and angst, I think I'll do something else with my time". And then he quits picking up hookers. I see it all the time on the boards. He gets a little rash on the pubic area, sweats and prays until the doctors says its jock itch or something, and then decides the risk is too great and stops doing it. The addict inexplicably seems to have lost that choice.

With a substance like crack cocaine you hear of people becoming addicted with the first hit. Other addictions progress more slowly. One can be compulsive, a habit can be formed, and you are well on your way to addiction. There are lots of sites dedicated solely to sex addiction and could help you define it a lot better than I can. C2K

Actually , C2K , I think you did a great job defining the Issues here

Civ2000

09-05-05, 21:32

The best response to your question was written a while back by admitted Sex Addict Civ2000 =

Actually , C2K , I think you did a great job defining the Issues here

Thanks Psyberzombie.

To John Rider and Others, If you don't think you are a sex addict, then you probably aren't. It's certainly not for me to speculate on anyone else but my self. In the twelve-step program that is called "taking another's inventory."

Here's yet another example: At one point in my life, I smoked pot several times each and everyday for a period of almost fifteen years spanning from Jr. High to my early thirties. Was I addicted? No! It was fun, enjoyable, I could afford it, I had no health problems, I still got good grades, etc., and I could quit anytime I wanted to.

However, I knew people who smoked the same amount and frequency that I did who couldn't hold a job, were heavily in debt, flunked out of school, got paranoid and very self-conscious when smoking it, and coughed violently every time they lit up, and were always trying unsuccessfully to quit. Were they addicted? Certainly!

I agree with you that we are born with a built-in sex drive, and you are right, it does help keep the species going. No one disagrees with that. I read somewhere that the average young man has a sexual thought every 68 seconds everyday. Sex addict? No, normal!

Some questions for you, BTW, I could answer each one with a yes.

1) If you had been arrested three times for picking up a prostitute and the judge told you that next time you got busted you would serve a mandatory five-year sentence, would you go cruising for SW's the next day?

2) If you had a high-paying job that you would absolutely lose if you got caught mongering, would you anyway?

3) Would you max out your credit cards and cash out part of your retirement to continue mongering?

4) Would you sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to have sex with a SW, while a hot woman that you loved slept next to you, knowing that she would leave you if she found out, and knowing that it would absolutely devastate you if she did?

Still think its just about a "normal" sex drive?

Civ2000

Best Tx Monger

11-01-05, 21:24

What's everyone trying to figure out here!? If it was not so many SEX ADDICTS then nobody of us will exist on this world. How many times in a week have to think in sex for not been a SEX ADDICT?. All this term turn me sick!

It can be compared with street walkers. They are NOT all the same. I will use the following to rationalize my point

1] Some sw are more classy then others.
2] There are sw that are escort like but without the price tag.
3] There are those that are addicts and are just plain ugly.
4] There are those that are addicts and still manage to look descent.

You can mix and match combinations but what I am trying to convey is that although we are active members of this forum, we are all different. Some sit on higher moral ground then others. In the end, we are all mongers just like the four sw types I described.

There are those mongers that do not even ponder about the situation and never visit this specific thread. But yet there are those that recognize their addiction and want to cope with it in a better manner. The fact that I am not the only one recognizing that I am an addict makes me feel better.

When I read a post on here that i can totally relate to, it makes me feel better. Knowing that I am not the only one that feels that way. I know that the solution is not long term, but knowing that there are others that have my disease makes it all better.

-007

Bubbaneedsit

11-02-05, 17:21

There are those mongers that do not even ponder about the situation and never visit this specific thread. But yet there are those that recognize their addiction and want to cope with it in a better manner. The fact that I am not the only one recognizing that I am an addict makes me feel better.I couldn't have said it better myself. Currently I am like the gentleman that sits in the back at his first AA meeting; not ready to say anything, but trying to understand better by listening to others in the group.

Dave67

11-04-05, 23:46

Lincoln Man pointed this thread out to me, and it's an interesting one. If I can throw in my .02's

I think a lot of it goes back to the very nature of men, women and the whole hunter-gatherer thing. Men fall in lust, while women want to settle down.

Take a minute and follow me on this after reading the post from TexasMonger (if you havent already), I think it says it all:

http://usasexguide.info/forum/showthread.php?p=395012

Why? Because we have the genetic disposition to hunt and conquer our prey. In this instance it's women and the sexual release they provide. The thrill of the hunt, the pleasure of the catch, and the release it provides, that we can do it "Secretly" and without hurting our significant others, yet we know that we are, and will, but it relates to instant gratification versus potential future ramifications. We justify it the same way our all time poster child, Bill Clinton, did, by rationalizing that it's not really sex, it's discreet, i.e. it's not like it's the spouses' sister or anything right????, and that it's okay, because we're not going the whole way.......( yet), but just like a drug junkie, we're adrenaline junkies, and as time goes by, it takes more to get the same fix....

A friend of my father's said many years ago, that when the little head gets hard, the big head gets soft, and that's exactly right, but then again, if it wasn't, most of us wouldn't be here because our forebears would have gone for the bigscreen tv instead of the piece of a$$ that wound up turning into a pregnancy.

How many times have each of us gone on the wagon, just to fall off because we see the particular thing that sets us off. For me, its the hair. That certain flip, or accidental brush of the tresses, and I'm a junkie again. Even though I thought the shakes were gone, Bam! I'm doing the hunt again. That, or you stop for a cup of coffee, and (Insert her name here) walks in, and gives you "The look" or even someone you don't even know walks in, and does the same.....

We are always going on the wagon,,,,,. Is there an insane amount of risk involved? Yep. That's why we mongers addicted, and why we keep falling off. It's not the act, as many have said, there's better available right there next to you, but it doesn't have the adrenaline rush of the hunt, the risks, and the climax. Even though you feel terrible later. Ever notice how much less attractive she is afterwards? Anyone really think she's changed from when she first got in the car?

What's the cure?

Beats the hell out of me.... It's not being in denial. Using Lincoln's analogy to AA, " Hi, my name's Dave, and I'm an addict......."

Nope, still addicted......

This is an arduos topic for me to talk about. Why? I really do not have an answer that I can retaliate with and walk away from it comfortably without hesitating and looking back.

It is a rather profound and one of the most personal secrets that a human can posess. That is of course their sexual life. The other day I let a sw give me a bbbj. Did I ponder or second guess my decision?

Of course not !! Why? To that I have to think about, I really do not know why. Would my g/f of five years break up with me if she knew what I did? Yes she would ! Would I ever re-visit in letting her know? Hell no !!!

Having said all that, the only thing that I am left with is guilt and each day I become more aware of how bad this addiction is. It is like having two seperate lives.

Yet, I can go and see this fine ass gal for $200 and get everything but yet it is not the same as chasing the street and finding that piece of meat. It is almost like watching baseball on tv and going to the actual game.

In the actual game you can eat a hot dog, feel the breeze and get up and cheer.

Same thing with this addiction, you can go to an in-call place and this and that but it is not as self-satisfying as chasing a sw. The danger in it is the gene that makes it all the best! I wan't to stop, but I can't 'nor do I wanna get help 'cause I am still in denial.

Golden Eye

Best Tx Monger

11-05-05, 14:12

In my mind, I strongly feel and believe that I can quit this addiction. But three years later and 200 + post later, I am still a member here. The thought of that in it of itself makes me want to laugh.

Am I in denial ? I think that I can totally manipulate my addiction but yet i still keep typing away on this forum and on this addiction thread.

I am asking for help BUT yet I am asking from help from others that are in the same boat as me. It is almost like a drug addict that asks and addict to help. Ok ...he may try to help him but when they talk to each other about the issue, they are taking drugs. Know what I mean ?

Who I am earning the respect of on here ? When it is all said and done, either this site or I will no longer exist. One of us has to go. I keep thinking that it is going to be me.

I know that most likely I will go first but yet I have spent hours and hours here ? Why ? It will lead to nowhere fruituful and it only keeps getting worse for me. On most things in life when you invest in something you get a return but the only return i get is replys and understanding from other members on here. Perhaps what I am looking for is just alleviation and more of a sense of self worth and that I am not the only one that feels the same way.

The person that ensues this post, feels the same way and that my friends.......MAKES IT ALL BETTER !!

-007

Fred Reed

11-14-05, 21:13

... Ever notice how much less attractive she is afterwards? Anyone really think she's changed from when she first got in the car?

......

Good point!

I have photographed many of the prositutes that I have seen.

Sometimes, weeks, months or years later I pull out the pictures and say to myself "Oh god! I can't believe that I thought this girl was pretty". I think that our hormones have a way of playing with our minds so that the women appear better looking than they really are. My camera recorded the true picture and my mind recorded what I wanted to see.

Fred

Best Tx Monger

11-14-05, 21:37

Today I went to the store and when i was coming out I saw this man with his daughter. It hit me and all of a sudden I started thinking about my future.

Currently I am not even married but I know that someday I will have kids. Hopefully a girl and a boy. If I have a girl i got to thinking that someday, some punk will be looking at her the same way that I currently view woman.

The thought of that is disturbing in it of itself. In addition, what if this guys is a perv like me and is a member of this site. This would not be fair to my little girl. It would not only infuriate me but i would be after that punk like you would not believe.

It just got me to thinking that this is all a cycle, whether I like or not. Sometimes life is not fairl. In the end, it will all backfire someway - somehow. It is only a matter of time.

-007

PsyberZombie

11-15-05, 07:28

It hit me and all of a sudden I started thinking about my future.... It just got me to thinking that this is all a cycle, whether I like or not. Sometimes life is not fairl. In the end, it will all backfire someway - somehow. It is only a matter of time

The key here is to recognize that you're just go·ing through another one of Life's many phases , 007

After a youth spent in debauchery and vice , many a man suddenly 'repents' when he reaches middle age ; and some·times his Value System is abruptly & totally changed at this point

The Classic Example here is St. Augustine (http://*******.com/9yygu) . His " Confessions " is often referred to and used to try to 'straighten up' people right now — but we wiser men now that he just 'got Religion' be·cause he got older and was facing his own mortality [ or perhaps , the prospect of having his own daughter leared at , like YOU fear ]

The Question is =

Are you gonna Fight Off this Phase ?? Or Give In , and live the rest of your Life like a Eunuch ??

juan73

11-20-05, 14:29

Quenching a sexual addiction is like drinking a salt water to satisfy the thirst.

Member #5605

11-27-05, 20:56

Has anybody ever been to one of those "Sexaholics Anonymous" meetings, with its "12-Steps" and all (like AA/NA-only of a "sexual" based nature)? Just wondering what all goes on there besides the usual "12-Step-we-are-powerless-over-this-addiction" BS. I get DUI clients who express interest in going to one when they see that it is on a list of "alternative" 12-Step meetings they can go to, if they do not want AA/NA. Just wondering.

Civ2000

11-27-05, 21:31

I've been to quite a few meetings and there is virtually no difference between sex addiction meetings and AA/NA meetings except the behavior the person is trying to stop. The twelve steps are exactly the same (except sex is substituted for alcohol).

There are several types of meetings. SA or Sexaholic Anonymous believes in a strict sobriety definition of no sex outside of marriage. This includes masterbation.

SAA or Sex Addicts Anonymous lets you pick your own sobriety definition.,e.g.,no sex with prostitutes for example. You go around and introduce yourself and the behaviors you're trying to stop: "Hi, I'm Civ and I'm addicted to prostitutes, strip clubs, and lesbian videos."

BTW, They're a terrible place to meet women. Besides most of the women being homely and hating men, even the slightest come-on by a man to a woman is met with suspicion by the whole group.

Other than that the meetings are identical. Civ2000

Best Tx Monger

11-28-05, 21:41

I say i will quit mongering tomorrow and tomorrow is today. Today is already heading into tomorrow and this all seems to familiar of a sequence. I don't come to this particular thread to whine or complaint, just to get some alleviation within me.

Why is it that I am so addicted to that feeling of busting it? It only last but 5-10 seconds but yet it is a feeling unlike any other. Very addicting !! The other day I phucked a phucking good looking chick. It was one that was a regular and had lost track of her but meet once again.

Dallas Forum Post #581
Diz iz mai adicktion1 (http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=24782)

Diz iz mai adicktion2 (http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=24781)

As you can see, such ass can be so addicting and it is only a re-inforcement & encouragement to seek more. Isn't explicit ?

There is your primary reason as to why I can't stop !! $60 for a hanging and banging session, can't beat it !!

I've tried quitting, the risk factor is so high that it is fun and exciting phucking in a car. The danger and violation of morals is the gene that justifies such action.

I dunno when I will stop or if i will ever be able to stop, but one thing that I do know is that I want to stop..............but I can't !!!

-007

Best Tx Monger

12-27-05, 12:43

Well kids, if there was ever a time to stop your addiction. I would say that now would be a good time since the new year is coming up.

I myself will try but know that within a month I will no longer be able to take it and will unwillingly succumb to the sw's.

For some reason, I still think that I have this sport manipulated and that I can quit at any time. But as time passes by and as I get one year older, I find myself in the same hole that I did 5 yrs ago.

I want to stop but I can't

-007

Banger Hard

12-27-05, 16:00

Today I went to the store and when i was coming out I saw this man with his daughter. It hit me and all of a sudden I started thinking about my future. If I have a girl i got to thinking that someday, some punk will be looking at her the same way that I currently view woman.

-007I'm already thinking about her. Can't wait!

Soldier Boy

12-27-05, 16:08

Hi,

I have a serious sexual addiction problem, to SW's, and the bad part is, I'm single. How do you treat this malfunction? I'm trying to quit, but whenever I see a sexy SW, I just can't help myself, my johnson reacts and before you know it, she's in the car, bobbing on mr. happy. I guess what I'm really tryin to say is. Does anybody have any SW phone numbers? I think the only way to cure this is, to get so much of it, that you get tired of it.

Thanx Much,

SB

PsyberZombie

12-30-05, 07:55

This year I kept a little diary of my Mongering activities , and here is a summary =

I spent $ 6160 on 68 'Dates' with 30 different women ; an average of once every 5 ½ days

Of that money , ninety bucks was for 'Miscellaneous Expenses' [ condoms ; buying the girl a drink ; pay phones ; etc ]

The most expensive date was $$$ , for a hottie Las Vegas 'Week·End Warrior' ; the least was .25 for a BBBJ in the car . I also had two $$ sessions with exotic dancer Hookers at our local Strip Club / Brothel

The majority of my time and money was spent with chicks on my 'ATF' List ; I had 42 Dates with those five

I saw my 'ATF·ATF' girl , Jo·Elle , 23 times [ about once every other week ] ; followed by Christine ( 7 dates ) Alicia ( 5 ) Casey / Katarina ( 4 ) and Dee·Dee ( 3 )

The most active month was February [ 8 dates ] ; and had only 4 dates in the months of Sept and Dec [ but the month isn't over yet , so these Stats may need 'tweaking' ]

Keeping the diary was kinda fun in it·self = reading over it , I got to re·live some Very Memorable Moments of this past year . Think I'll do it again for '06

Happy New Year , Peeps !!

Robocock

12-30-05, 11:41

Hey fellow Mongers,

After deleting my bookmark for this site out of remorse over the last date I had, I came back to check out a city I will be visiting (breaking down my rule), and wanted to check this thread after seeing it mentioned a few weeks ago. I am happy with what I am reading, who knows us addicts better than other addicts. I was afraid of seeing just another board full of juvenile flaming, but was pleasantly suprised. I am in the same boat as many of you, cycling between justification and wanting to stop. Occasionally I will really enjoy the hobby, and that is the hook that keeps me coming back. Hardly enough enjoyment to warrant taking the risks.

But, reading thru the posts, I don't see much in the way of a solution. A lot of really good information as far as defining the addiction and the mental states that precede a "slip". One solution recommended that probably is wack, of going on chemical castration. I think that was created for violent sexual criminals like rapists and child molesters. Which brings up a point, we beat up on ourselves pretty severely for what we do. I need to remind myself that while what I do is illegal in most of the places I hobby, I am not a sexually violent predator. I surely am enabling some people with drug/alcohol problems and don't really want to be turning these tricks, but they are not being forced by me to have sex.

As some of you can probably tell by the code words I use (subconsiously), I am involved in a certain 12 step program. So I have been looking into my addictions under a microscope for quite a while now. I also read a lot of books ane listen to a lot of self-help radio. One common thread running thru all the success stories is that the addicts, in one form or another, have been very lonely and isolated, and found a program and formed deep connections that filled the void of loneliness and the addiction lost it's grip. The common bond of escaping from the same peril is a micro society in itself. Some claim ( myself included) that a connection with a higher power has removed the mental obsession of the addiction. This connection with a higher power is also a solution to the loneliness.

As I look back on my life, I see periods of close bonds with friends and family that were relatively free of my addictions. But as I distance myself from these people for whatever reason, the addiction moves in to take it's place. I had close friends in my youth but moved away and my chemical addictions exploded. I got married and had kids and they all but disappeared. I became unhappy with my wife and disconnected, never really formed any close connections with my fellow 12 steppers, just stayed on the perimeter, and my sex addiction exploded. Thank god the chemical one is staying quiet.

The thoughts I have been having lately after an encounter with a SW is that I did it because I am lonely. Not because I am a discusting pervert or sick-o that doesn't deserve life or freedom, just a lonely guy looking in all the wrong places for a bit of companionship. It's a relatively easy quick fix. I can pick someone up, and within one minute be engaged in a very personal conversation and physical contact. The skin is the bodies largest organ, and it is very satisfying when it is rubbing on the skin of another. WEE! But, it is not genuine, hence the guilt. I could go on and on here but I have to get back to work. If anyone else relates to this I would be glad to hear about your experiences. Robocock

Aug Rider

12-30-05, 12:00

Please consider my $.02. I've tried to quit and did for a few months. The more I worked (job), the more I treated myself. When the job cut back on mandatory overtime, I had more time to do other activities. Once the workload increased, I was getting off early a.m. and fell back in the same old groove. I currently stroll a little less when I get off, but it's difficult to pass by someone who gives me "the look." Didn't mean to babble, but I do feel a little better.

Best Tx Monger

12-30-05, 13:02

Robocock,

Very nice and interesting post you have there. You are defenitely a polished writer that knows how to convey their feelings into words.

-007

Robocock

12-30-05, 13:29

Thanks Bond. Must be because I actually kissed the Blarney Stone when in Ireland :)

Gorilla69

12-30-05, 15:48

So, there I was, with the old lady, visiting Seattle. We were driving around Seattle proper (after a night of oh-my-god sex) and I was thinking, boy wouldn't it be nice to take a drive up 99 and see if there are any hookers out? Is that addiction or what? I still get the queasy feeling in my stomach thinking about finding a girl and getting a blow job or pounding her doggy in a sleazy motel, even when my wife is really pretty good looking, accomodating and all, though we have had long dry spells.

I have said before, that there are NO providers where I live, so the addiction is latent, but it is amazing how close to the surface it is when I am close to the drug!!

Good discussions, as usual.

PsyberZombie

12-30-05, 15:56

The thoughts I have been having lately after an encounter with a SW is that I did it because I am lonely. Not because I am a discusting pervert or sick-o that doesn't deserve life or freedom, just a lonely guy looking in all the wrong places for a bit of companionship.

If I want 'companionship' , I'll spend some time with my Wife ; my Friends ; my dog ; or may·be even my cats

Most of We Mongers do what we do for some Variety [ " The Spice of Life " ]
.... and to get our Rocks off

Guess I'm not quite ready yet for those Twelve Steps to Celibacy

Broad St Guy

12-30-05, 16:08

If I want 'companionship' , I'll spend some time with my Wife ; my Friends ; my dog ; or may·be even my cats

Most of We Mongers do what we do for some Variety [ " The Spice of Life " ]
.... and to get our Rocks off

Guess I'm not quite ready yet for those Twelve Steps to Celibacy

Lay off douchebag. You need help. Seriously. Seek it.

Robocock

12-30-05, 16:23

If I want 'companionship' , I'll spend some time with my Wife ; my Friends ; my dog ; or may·be even my cats

Most of We Mongers do what we do for some Variety [ " The Spice of Life " ]
.... and to get our Rocks off

Guess I'm not quite ready yet for those Twelve Steps to Celibacy

That's fine for you, but you must not understand the topic of this thread, or be in some serious denial.

PsyberZombie

12-30-05, 16:49

That's fine for you, but you must not understand the topic of this thread, or be in some serious denial.

I am Sparkling Clear on the Topic of this thread , Robocock

.... I'm just not yet ready to be 'Cured' of this Addiction

»»» Capiche ??

Broad St Guy

12-30-05, 17:07

I am Sparkling Clear on the Topic of this thread , Robocock

.... I'm just not yet ready to be 'Cured' of this Addiction

»»» Capiche ??

Robocock - this douchebag goes all over the board spouting off with his unwanted comments. Just ignore his ignorance. The fact that he brags about his "diary" and makes this comment " spent $ 6160 on 68 'Dates' with 30 different women ; an average of once every 5 ½ days", is very telling about him. Not that I am in a glass house or anything, but seriously when I saw that post, I am think sheesh.

Civ2000

12-30-05, 18:14

Hey Guys, Don't get too upset over PZ's comments. He may or may not be an addict who may or may not want to quit. It's not really for us to decide. If his hobby is not causing him any angst or problems then more power to him. I may or may not agree with his latest comments, but respect his right to post them on a public forum. And who can deny that for a lot of mongers, it is simply a need or want for variety and getting off, rather than a need for companionship.

I, myself, am a sex addict. There are no if's and's or but's to the equation. My life is definately a lot less than it could be because of the addiction. It hurts me financially; affects all my relationships; in fact, virtually every aspect of my life is negatively impacted by it. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I have been unable to quit. My theory is that I just haven't wanted to quit bad enough. I still enjoy being with an eighteen-year-old girl who is pretending that I'm the coolest and hottest guy she's ever met. So, for me, in a way, it is about companionship; not with my friends, family, dog or cat, or even a S/O, but an otherwise unattainable young women to have sex with. No matter how good the sex is however, I usually find myself regretting it by the time I have my pants back on.

Having been to lot's of meetings on sexual addiction, I find that is a common thread amongst most addicts. As soon as the date is over, they find themselves angry, sad, feeling regret, etc. Those feelings soon give way to excitement as their next escapade starts to form in the back of their mind. Patrick Carnes explains it really well in his book "Out of the Shadows." If you haven't heard of the book, it is considered the foremost book on sexual addiction and should be required reading for anyone who thinks they might have a problem with the hobby.

So, for solutions, basically you have to admit you have a problem and really want to quit. If this is you, I'd get Patrick Carnes book and read it. Then I'd look for an SA or SAA meeting in my area and attend. I'd find a good sponser and have someone in the group recommend a good counselor. With the money I'd be saving on hooker's I'd start a new hobby, perhaps Hang Gliding; that's always piqued my interest. I'd spend more time hanging around with people I enjoy; family and friends. I might even start going to a liberal church. Anyway, that's my plan for the new year. Will it work? Well, statistically the odds are against me, but when you quit trying the addiction truly wins.

Happy New Year All (even you Psyberzombie). Civ2000